Secondhand Life - Part 23

Printer-friendly version

I was sitting at Katherine's breakfast station, savoring a steaming half-caf macchiato and watching Marta the housekeeper out of the corner of my eye. She was staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking. I considered having fun with this game of peekaboo, but I figured I'd already toyed with peoples perceptions of Katherine enough, and I definitely should not start messing with the house staff.

Still, something had to give. So I finally caught Marta in one of her stares and, by my stern look, dared her to look away.

“What?” I asked forcefully, but I hoped not angrily or confrontationally.

She just went crimson and moved her lips like a fish... finally she found words. “It's just.... Ms Keller.... um... you've never brought a boy home before....”

“You're NOT my mother.” I looked at her, trying to keep my face expressionless. That seemed 'the Katherine thing to do'. LC really, really wanted to grin, but Katherine would not. Still, I didn't want her to think I was angry – again, Katherine wouldn't even think of that – but I would. I just said softly “First time for everything....” I thought I saw the stricken look begin to leave her face, so I figured this approach was working. “Anyway.... he was NOT a boy....”

She nodded contritely, then stopped and gave me a puzzled look.

“...he was a NERD.” I said gently.

THAT had the desired effect. She actually blurted out a laugh before capping her mouth with both hands and casting her eyes down.

“...Besides, nothing happened.... he's an amateur pilot and he wanted to show off. You know, boys and their toys. So, I asked him to take me..... home.”

That brought a warm smile.

“How long were you and Evan spying on us? Did you notice that he just went upstairs long enough to pee and for me to show him around a bit. He and his ….toy... had to get back.”

Her face softened. “I just think it's nice that you ...made a friend.”

Katherine didn't have friends. I had to nip this in the bud right now, so I half stared/half glared at her and she backed off instantly, realizing that she had overstepped, and went back into 'housekeeper mode'.

She cast her eyes down again. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I just... I mean, I think it was sweet....”

I just glared at her... mentally urging her 'shutupshutupshutupshutup'. Either she got the message or ran out of steam on her own. “Would you like another coffee ma'am?”

I nodded curtly and she grabbed my cup and scurried away. I hoped that quelled the rumours of Katherine 'bringing a boy home'. Once I knew I was alone, I stopped trying to suppress my smirk.

My phone rang and I noticed it was Dennis ….again. Since I was alone in the Kitchen, I didn't even try to answer as Katherine. Grinning broadly to myself, I purred “Good morning!” trying to sound like someone who had just spent the night getting seriously laid.

“OHMYGOD!!!!” Dennis exclaimed. And nothing more. I think he was at a loss for words, and the smile crinkled my eyes as I tried to imagine his face.

“YOU have been spending way too much time with Mikey!” I laughed.

“OHMYGOD! You didn't! You couldn't.... did you? Is he still THERE? Is that why you can't talk?”

I was still laughing when I heard someone grab the phone away.

“WHO's been a bad girl?”

“Hi Dale.” I laughed. “Sorry, I just couldn't resist...”

He seemed to understand, being the other one deluged by frantic Dennis calls last night.

His tone was almost fatherly as he lightly scolded me. “...Still... that wasn't nice... You KNOW how much he cares about you.”

“I know.” I quietly replied. I was a bit ashamed that my little prank had caused Dennis so much stress. “I know how far back he and Katherine go and how much she mea....”

“NO. How much he cares about you.”

That stopped me dead in my tracks. “....No.... I mean, sure we get along great, and I realize how lucky Katherine – and by extension I am – to have him, but I'm just the stand in....”

Doctor Dale sighed. “One more thing to put on the list of things to discuss. NOW young lady, will you please explain to this young man exactly HOW you were a bad girl?”

I just nodded with the phone. Saying nothing. But I KNOW Dale knew I nodded, because suddenly Dennis was back on the phone.

“Soooo?” he said and I could hear his fingers drumming on the phone.

“sorry” I peeped. “I just couldn't resist...”

“So, OUT with it girl? What the WHAT? All I know about your escapades last night was that Tazmanian Devil thing at the hotel and the rest I had to get from the internet.”

“God LOVE the internet!” I heard Mikey yell in the background.

'This is good' I thought to myself. Dennis no longer seemed freaked or hurt or even angry. I sensed 'playful Dennis' was back. “OK. You want to know what really happened?”

“Dish girl!”

“OK. I'll tell you from when I left the hotel – that first time... for the charity thing....”

“The celebrity meat market” he said matter of factly.

“Yeah. And THANKS for warning me about that while you were getting me all.... bid-able”

He laughed. “You would have freaked and chickened out.”

“You're one to talk about freaking out!” I kidded. “How did YOU like it?”

“You're stalling.”

“You're right. OK. The auction.... by the way, how much time do you have? Don't you have to check out?”

“Already done. Dale got a car and we're driving down the coast, headed home. So I want all the lurid details.”

“I'll tell you everything I can without compromising national security” I teased.

“Girl, you're so funny.... OK. So spill.....”

So, I told him all about the bidding war with alarming Ani and the outrageous winning bid and how amazing it was for the charity, and how it was the techie I Kanye'd at the stage of the Piracy Conference, his waiver of my pledged prize in exchange for the chance to show off, and how impressed I was. How he was the real deal, and the rumors were true about him being the new new thing, and how he made the current state of the art look like Pong blips, and how he gave Katherine an invitation to be a part of it from the beginning and how I thought she should really consider it, so I gave him positive indications to keep the door open until she finally decided.

“....And then he dropped me home. I took him in to show him around and let him use the rest room and.... some of the staff saw us... and...”

“Ohmygod! Katherine never brought a boy home!” he gasped.

“Was it really that big a deal? He was already gone in less than 15 minutes.”

“You brought a BOY home! Katherine never brought a boy home!”

“It's not like he slept over!” I protested. I really began to get worried about Dennis' reaction.

“...was it really that big a deal?” I asked in a very, very small voice.

“We'll be home in a couple of hours. We need to talk.”

“take a number” I sighed. “You're right behind Doctor Dale.”

***

By early afternoon, they all arrived home and everyone just wanted to walk and stretch after the long ride. That bought me a little more time. Dale offered to drive Dennis and Mikey back to Monterey. He wanted to catch up with me after our San Francisco charity event for a routine exam and 'touch up' of his handiwork, but my spur-of-the-moment date and 'flight to Monterey' derailed his plans. I knew he meant 'flight' as in 'one who flees' but I could only beam a cheshire cat grin at his unwittingly apt choice of words. The exam and ...refurbishment... went quickly. He seemed quite pleased, and I was somewhat surprised to notice that this recurring 'intimate indignity' didn't really bother me that much anymore. When he finished up, I was going to invite Dale to make himself at home and soak out the kinks in the Jacuzzi, but he was a step ahead of me and already going to 'his room' to change into swim trunks. I guess with Katherine, people learned to be proactive and not wait to be invited.

While Dennis and Mikey were grilling me on the details of my 'Charity Date” as they loved calling it, and Dale soaked in the hot tub, I got a message from Katherine's agent, which I scanned and showed Dennis.

He shrugged. “No rest for the wicked, I guess. Katherine was always busy, but I don't think she was ever this busy. Serves you right for being likable.” he smirked.

“Was this a request...” I started to say, but Dennis interrupted, shaking his head.

“Looks more like a reminder. Either you ..I mean Katherine.. or he... or someone else on 'Team Keller' booked this. That's the way it usually works. Katherine did not want to be involved in setting these sorts of things up. She preferred being told where to go and when and what was expected of her. JUST like this.” he said as he tapped the email on my phone.

I sighed. “OK. I get the meeting with Kirk to go over the plan for the soundtrack album session. But what's this Armando Ciregna thing?”

Dennis just stared at me dumbfounded. “Seriously? You don't know Armando Ciregna?”

“...the photographer, right? Sophia Lauren with that Vespa?”

“Ohmygod. Yes. That and SO much more. Audrey Hepburn with those starving children. Julie Christie on that bench in Washington square. Marilyn backstage at JFK's birthday? Debbie Harry at Port Authority? Farrah rollerskating the Venice boardwalk? Olivia Newton John with the Dolphins? Christie Brinkley being sewn into that swimsuit before the Sports Illustrated shoot? Heidi Klum being turned into Jessica rabbit for Esquire? Anne Hathaway offstage watching Meryl Streep on the 'Prada' set. …..Katherine getting fitted for her wings before the Victoria's Secret runway show.....”

“Wow. He's been everywhere.”

“No. He's only been in one place. The center of it all. Because he makes wherever he IS the center.”

I nodded. “And he's been doing this ….forever....”

Dennis smiled sadly. “Not forever. Just for a very long time. And that time is ending. He's like 90-something.... and battling Parkinson's and Macular Degeneration. He's hanging up his Hasselblad and calling it a career. They're giving him a big sendoff and anyone who's ever been on one of his covers or posters or coffee table books over the years is automatically invited.... so.... Katherine.” He looked at me with puppy dog eyes.

“This is important.” I said it as a statement, but it really was a question.

Dennis nodded.

“Wouldn't Katherine want to be there herself for this?”

He shook his head and smiled sadly. “I think.... she knows you would do a better job, and actually ...represent her... better than she would do herself. I think she wants you to do this.”

I raised an eyebrow at him but he Dennis remained resolute.

“People think Katherine doesn't care about things. She does. In her own way. I think that... she thinks... you will give him a better sendoff than she would. I think that's why she's not stepping in. She wants you to do it, because you'll do it better.”

“We'll see about that....” I muttered.

“Yes, we WILL!” Dennis beamed.

up
360 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

No boys

I totally get Katherine's not being into boys. I like them but just don't seem to connect with them. Completely understandable. So, following the usual T model, LC will disappear? Being the independent bitch that I am, it does not matter to me. Someone with the real Katherine's genetic issues, and perhaps LC actually has similar problems.

I'd like to see it turn out different just to piss off the purists. :)

Nice writing.

Gwen

Changes

Tas's picture

Despite everything, LC cannot truly be Katherine, and standing in for her this long is starting to change some things. There's going to come a point where Katherine is going to have to make a decision if she wants her life back, because if she doesn't do something eventually her image is going to be different enough that she may not be able to go back.

As usual, looking forward to the next part :)

-Tas

"How much he cares about you.”

I dont think she's clued in that people like HER, not just because she's taking Katherine's place

DogSig.png

Yes. She's a little slow that way.

That just means it will take her longer to realize.

Fortunately, there's a fair amount of story left to tell. So she has time. ;-)

Being" Katherined"

Podracer's picture

I see it works both ways, that expectation of behaviours.

It does so read like the characters have taken on a real life, so easy to engage with them. I can hear them arguing with the author like an actor with their director - "Hey what if I said it like this instead?"

"Reach for the sun."

Horrible way to go

TheCropredyKid's picture

Macular degeneration ... to a photographer with THAT kind of eye ... might as well be a death sentence.

TAKING the picture is technique. ART is seeing the picture in the first place.

 
 
 
x