Never Meddle in the Affairs of a Woman, Ch 6

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Chapter Six

“Girls Are Weird”

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It was after five by the time I returned to Kristina’s flat. I was feeling depressed, hurt, and angry. I opened the door and heard my phone ringing from the living room and it struck me that in my rush to go in to the facility I’d left both my purse and phone. I hurried into the living room just as the phone went to voice mail.

I saw that it was a missed call from Lana and rather than listen to the message I sent her a text.

Me: I just walked in the door. I 4got my phone. What’s up?

Lana: Swimming at six? ;-)

I thought for a second and as much as I loathed the idea of going out in this body the chance to get another workout was really appealing. Besides, I was pissed off with Kristina for swapping with me and leaving me in the dark about what was going on! A workout would help me blow off some steam and that was just what I needed. Then I had to admit, to myself at least, that I’d enjoyed spending time with Lana yesterday.

Me: Sure. Pick me up?

Lana: Sorry! I’m coming from the office. Met you there.

Me: K

Feeling more than a little pissed, I shot Kristina a text.

Me: I’m supposed to meet Lana, to go swimming. Where do you swim?

Rather than wait for a response I headed to the bedroom to pack a bag with the things I’d need. I remembered seeing a box with swimwear somewhere in that mess of a dresser. Lots of bikinis in different styles and colors, a sexy red one, an expensive looking Brazilian type that left nothing to the imagination and one with the Union Jack flag on the top and bottom. But the thought of showing myself off, in public, in one of those made me shudder. Luckily, there was also a marine blue one piece swimsuit in Kristina’s closet, even if it was a French cut, along with a bright orange duffel.

I tossed in the swimsuit, along with a towel. Then I went in search of goggles and a swimmer’s cap. After ten minutes of searching I discovered goggles in the ‘junk’ drawer and a cap in the bathroom. Obviously, Kristina liked swimming, and I now wondered if this was her main form of exercise. Then a thought hit me, ‘What if Lana wanted to get something to eat after working out? A part of me hated the idea but another part thought it might be fun to spend a little more time with Lana.’

“What could it hurt?”

And with that I returned to Kristina’s closet looking for something to wear. As I looked through Kristina’s clothes I remembered our Skype session from yesterday. She’d been appalled at some of my ideas on clothes and had insisted that if I was going to go out I needed to wear a dress. Then my eyes fell on a sexy little black dress. My heart literally skipped a beat. Suddenly, I had an image in my mind of Kristina in that dress, heels, stockings, hair all teased out in a sexy ‘fuck me’ look. It was a hot image and I shuddered. ‘Could I pull it off? Did I want to try? Was I brave enough?’ The thoughts bounced around in my mind and then I thought, ‘Why not, how many guys get this kind of an opportunity?’

The heeled sandals, and black stockings with a seam in back seemed like good choices. The black dress was a given and I’d seen a black leather jacket I could wear over the top. Then I thought about underwear. Jill was really into sexy underwear. I’d teased her about it more than once but now I wondered what it would feel like to wear something like Jill would. The first thing she’d say is that this dress would show a panty line and she’d have opted for a thong. I dug into Kristina’s underwear boxes and discovered that she and Jill must have an underwear fetish in common! I pulled out a black thong and tossed it into the duffel and then, on the off chance that I’d chicken out a pair of granny panties. The black push-up bra seemed almost conservative compared to the thong.

I returned to the bathroom and grabbed a few shower products dumping everything into the duffel. After a moment’s consideration, I added the mascara that Kristina had forced me to practice with last night and lip gloss to the bag. By the time I returned to the living room my phone was flashing.

Kristina: Timor Thermal Bath and Health Club, it’s a 15 min drive.

Me: Thx

Me: OBTW – thanks for the fun session at the facility!

Kristina: OMG!! What Happened? R U Ok?

Me: Yeah. I’m Ok. Passed the screening. Guess u got just what u wanted.

I looked down at the ladies watch I’d slipped on while I’d been packing the duffel. It was already five forty. Kristina had told me she owned a Ford Focus and I thought I’d seen it when I’d walked to the grocery store. Then it sort of hit me. I’d been nothing more than Kristina’s puppet since she’d orchestrated the switch. This realization made me even angrier with Kristina and I decided to have fun tonight and ignore her.

Me: I gotta run. Talk to u tonight. Bye

I stuffed the phone into Kristina’s purse grabbed the duffel and rushed out of the flat. I still had to watch my step on the stairs, particularly since I was carrying a purse and a bulky duffel, but I didn’t want to be late. After the day I had some time at a fitness center was just what I needed.

I ignored the next two texts from Kristina and used my phone’s navigation feature to get the fitness center. It was tough enough driving on the wrong side of the road, but factor in, boobs, a missing dick, heels, and a manual transmission on the wrong damn side, and I needed to just focus on driving. I reminded myself to make sure that the steering wheel was always closest to the middle line. I parked the Ford and then dug through Kristina’s cavernous purse looking for something . . . then I spotted the membership card! “Perfect.” I got out of the car and headed into the building pausing inside the door to look around.

I didn’t see any sign of Lana so I figured I could sort of walk through the building and sort out where everything was before she showed up. That way I wouldn’t look so strange trying to find my way around.

The club was modern, with authentic Indonesian décor in the spa area, and really nice weight and cardio rooms. I ducked into the main pool deck and looked around. I was impressed. Besides the various mineral Jacuzzis, sauna, steam-bath, it had a thermal basin, and vented steam into the cold night sky! There was also an Olympic sized pool with plenty of swim lanes for people to use. I paused, watching a group of guys sitting by the shallow end, in disgust. ‘Why do European guys insist on wearing speedos? We all know they’ve got dicks . . . geez. Do they think by advertising they’ll get a female to just jump in bed with them?’ From my current perspective the idea was laughable.

I could feel a couple of guys look my way but I ignored them. I returned to the reception area and still didn’t see Lana. ‘Is she normally late, or is this unusual?’ I didn’t know what to think so I went into the ladies locker room. It was surprisingly similar to a men’s locker room. Aisles of lockers with benches to sit on in one area. A separate area with changing cubicles, an area with sinks and stalls, and then a third area with booths for showering. That last part was a little unexpected. Most men’s locker rooms were open showers with a dozen or so faucets in one room. Apparently the ladies needed privacy.

I found a locker with no one else around and quickly changed from my street clothes into the one piece suit. Getting in and out of Kristina’s clothes was starting to become a familiar exercise, but then I held up the tiny piece of stretchy fabric and just looked at it.

“How, in the hell am I supposed to wear this?”

When no one answered I sighed and carefully stepped into each leg hole. This was more challenging considering I had to try to look around my breasts to find the leg holes. Then I pulled the suit up and tucked one arm after the other through the shoulder straps. The ability of Kristina’s swimming suit to stretch was amazing. I felt it pull extremely tight against my groin as I drew the straps up over my shoulders. Then I had to reach into the front and fiddle around with my boobs to get them adjusted.

Three days ago the idea of adjusting a girl’s breasts so they sat just right within her swimsuit would have been unbelievably hot. Now it was just uncomfortable, and I needed to fix them. The fabric had somehow bunched up between my legs so I bent at the knees and sort of thrust my hips forward while I used my hands to adjust the bottom of the suit. Once it was in place it actually wasn’t uncomfortable as long as I just stood there unmoving. However, the whole thing seemed a bit too small for Kristina and when I ran my hands through my hair the suit pulled up uncomfortably in my crotch, outlining an organ I didn’t really want to advertise!

I locked my locker and paused to look in the mirrors before going to the main pool area. The blonde that looked back was really pretty and it still felt odd to see her move when I did. I turned around to check out my butt in the mirrors and suddenly I realized it was one of Kristina’s best features, round and firm with a tight swimsuit to show it off. I grabbed a towel and headed for the pool.

Just before I pushed open the door, I spotted a room to my right. It was an open area with several shower faucets and I figured that I was supposed to rinse off before getting into the pool. With a sigh I went to the shower room to get wet. The water felt cold and I tried to get the obligatory, rinse done as quickly as possible before leaving the locker room and moving into the main pool area.

The guys I’d seen earlier were gone and I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought about waiting for Lana but then shrugged and found a chair. I’d brought a bag with me from my locker and I pulled out the swimming cap I’d found in Kristina’s flat and started tucking my hair under it. This took longer, and was a lot harder than I’d thought it would be. Next, I pulled out a pair of goggles and strapped them on over the swimming cap. Then I spread a towel over my chair and after a moment’s hesitation decided to get in the pool. Just as I stood up Lana stepped out of the locker room wearing a tight violet two piece suit with a modern interpretation of a vintage cut! She spotted me and rushed over.

“Ku, sorry I’m late. I got held up at work. But guess what?! I got the day off tomorrow! Ladies night, here we come!” she shouted, with an overly cheerful intonation, probably expecting the real Kristina to be enthusiastic about it. All I could manage was a smile. I leaned in to give her a hug, this time remembering our breasts.

“That’s brilliant! No problem, I haven’t gotten started yet.”

Then she looked at me with a frown and a sparkle in her eyes. “Did you inherit that swimsuit from your grandmother? And a swimmers cap, seriously? What is this, an enactment of the golden twenties?”

Now, she was laughing openly and for a second I felt my face flush with embarrassment.

“I thought you hated this type of one-piece suit?”

“I . . . err . . . I'm still feeling axed about all that rubbish in my life right now. Just want to get a good workout, and with all the guys around here, I don't want to feel like a piece of meat and . . .” I stammered, trying to come up with something that would sound normal.

She interrupted me, with a companionable smile, “Yeah, kitty, I get it. You were going for unattractive, well, congratulations, you succeeded, admirably.” The look she gave me was so sympathetic there was no way I could take offense, “Go ahead, and get your workout. I’ll head to the sauna first, I'm feeling really tense. I'd like to relax a bit before I get started here.”

“K.”

I couldn’t resist watching her walk away, one hip at a time. For an unending instant I was frozen in place, watching Lana’s back side move in a seductive undulation of muscle and flesh. I could feel the conflict going on inside my mind.

‘The sauna or the pool?’ I was caught in a whirlwind of internal conflict. The caveman in me said, “Ugh, me like!” and wanted to take Lana here and now not caring who might see. The more sophisticated part of my male brain thought following Lana into the sauna would offer the best chance at a totally unobstructed view of a possibly completely naked Lana! With the added bonus of additional hot girls, and none of them would ever have any clue that a horny man had been watching them!

Then Lana’s comments struck home and I felt my face flush with embarrassment at once again having picked the worst possible outfit. I looked around feeling self-conscious and after a few seconds relaxed when no one was looking at me. I turned around and headed to the pool, looking for something, anything, to distract me from what I’d been thinking. I felt a voice inside of me sort of reassert itself. It reminded me that even if I was trapped in the body of a female, I was still a guy. It was ok for me to be attracted to other females. I just needed to make sure that I didn’t get her fired. Eventually a lone voice of reason finally took over, ‘Don't push it, Jimmy! You wanted the workout and who cares what you look like! You're not really a girl!’ Heeding my own inner voice I moved toward the ladder. As I approached it I was hyper aware of my body and the way my swim suit made it move. My ass swung to one side while my chest moved to the other, it was like I had more jiggly parts my male brain could process. I eased into the pool thankful for the cover provided by the water. I knew that the water was warm, yet it still felt cold at first. I remembered how my nipples reacted to the cold so I quickly slipped the all the way in.

For a few seconds I just stayed, shoulder deep in the water, trying to wrap my mind around the different signals my body was sending me. I was at the shallow end so it was easy to stand but the cool sensation of water moving over my vulva and caressing my breasts was both erotic and normal. I pushed off using a breast stroke. Gliding through the water my face down, I could feel the it rushing over my chest. I lifted my face out of the water and pulled my arms down and around. Then while simultaneously frog kicking and thrusting my arms forward I put my face back into the water and cut smoothly down the lane. The sensation of the swimming suit pulling tight against my flat crotch and then relaxing was enough to drive me crazy.

‘Why is it that every physical act in this body feels sexual?’ I wondered as I focused on moving down to the far end of the pool. The lanes to either side of me were empty but that didn’t last long as Lana joined me in the water. I did two laps with the breast stroke and then switched to the side stroke leading with my right hand. After two laps I rolled over to do the side stroke leading with my left hand. Then I switched to free style, followed by the back stroke and then feeling a little more daring I gave the butterfly a try. I’d expected this to be a disaster, I assumed that I didn’t have the strength or coordination for this while in Kristina’s body. I’d assumed wrong.

For the first time it felt like my mind and my body’s muscle memories meshed perfectly. I got to the far end of the pool out of breath and my heart was racing but I felt excited at finding something I could do, physically that Kristina also knew how to do. By the time I was ready for a break Lana was sitting on the side of the pool watching me. I swam over and folded both of my arms under my chin, holding onto the side while I floated against the edge.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” There was a touch of amusement in her voice.

“What do you mean?” I tried to make it an innocent question.

Lana shook her head, “Kris you’ve been going at it for forty five minutes straight. Did Justin call and tell you you’re fat or something?”

I felt a flash of annoyance, “Just because I want to workout hard, doesn’t mean I’ve got a man issue.” Although, truth be told there was a very big ‘man’ issue I just couldn’t tell her about it.

“Don’t be so touchy.

“Sorry.”

“Are you done?”

“I think so.”

“Then let’s get out of here.” She gave me an almost accusatory glance, “Did you at least bring clothes for a night out?”

“Uhm, yeah, I’ve got a dress.”

“Good, girl! Since we’re both off tomorrow, we’re going dancing after dinner.” I opened my mouth to protest but she continued, “And I’m not taking any excuses!”

With that she stood up and moved toward the ladies locker room. I just sat there enjoying the way her ass shifted from side to side with each step. Then I sort of shook myself out if it and moved to the ladder in a rush to get out of the pool. When I pulled myself up I couldn’t help feeling the water rush down my body and the way my suit pulled tight in my groin as my hips moved from side to side. In a hurry I took a big step skipping the last two rungs to step directly on the main deck. ‘I could go for some dinner.’ I thought to myself, as my stomach rumbled.

Just before Lana left the pool area, she turned around, obviously checking on me. Then she grinned for a split second before putting a hand to her mouth to hold back a laugh. She pointed in my direction, so I looked over my shoulder to see what it was she thought was so funny. I didn’t see anything. “Kuuuu....” she shouted, caught between laughter and consternation, “Kuuuu!” This time when I glanced back at her she sort of pointed down. ‘Did I step in something?’ I wondered. Whatever it was it was funny, important, and she was trying to avoid drawing attention to us.

Having no idea what she was talking about, maybe it was some kind of secret girl thing, then she used to fingers to point to her eyes and then pointed to her crotch. She wanted me to look at my crotch? . . . When I did, I finally understood what she meant. I didn’t know until that moment that it was humanly possible to do a full body blush! That damn, ill-fated, French designed, stretchy swimsuit, with its narrow crotch and high French cut had kind of traveled upwards on my body, the lower end tightened and retracted until it was more like a string than a bottom, and . . . somehow, it had ended up between . . . my . . . er . . . Kristina’s pussy lips!!! I was now happily flashing Kristina’s private parts to Lana and the world!

As quickly as I could I reached down and adjusted the bottom feeling the top go tight and for a second I thought I might pop out. Then I was done and as covered up as I could be at the moment.

“Damn, is it just Kristina, or is being a girl always so . . . for a moment I couldn’t think of the right word, “humiliating!” I asked myself. Then I let out a sigh, and answered my own questions. “Naw, I’m just such a newbie I’m making mistakes she’d never make. She probably knows just by feel what to watch out for.”

As I headed toward the locker room, trying to act like nothing happened, I was acutely aware of how my body jiggled. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a couple of guys had stopped what they were doing to watch. ‘Did they catch my peep-show?’ I wondered, blushing anew. In a flash of irritation, I almost went over to them to insist they needed a ticket if they wanted to watch a show. Instead, I fled to the sanctuary of the woman’s locker room.

As soon as I pushed the door open I spotted Lana to my left in the showers. She was still wearing her swimming suit, rinsing off under the water. Guessing this was the normal procedure I went into the room and adjusted the water, this time, unlike before, I waited for the water to get hot before I got under it. It felt really weird to be standing under a shower, with a plastic cap on my head, cleaning off, while wearing a swimming suit! Lana finished first and gave me a quick grin as she moved into the main locker room. I finished as quickly as I could and followed.

There were a lot more ladies changing now. An aerobics class and a yoga class had just ended. It was like a peeping Tom’s paradise. Women of all ages, sizes, and body types were moving around in every state of dress and undress. It took me a second to realize I was gawking, ‘probably not unlike those guys outside a minute ago,’ the cynical side of me remarked. Then my face flushing, yet again, I hurried to my locker.

Just as I started pulling out my bag Lana turned up at my elbow. By the sparkle in her eyes and the quirk of her mouth, I knew I was in for it.

“Kris, did you stop to collect a couple of pounds from the guys watching the show?”

My face still red, I looked at her, “You don’t think anyone saw that, do you?”

“Heheheheh,” Lana’s laughter made me turn even redder.

“It’s not funny! I feel soooo . . . . Humiliated!”

“Yeah, Kris, it’s okay. No, I don’t think they saw, and besides, you’re pretty cute down there, it’d make their day if they got a glimpse of little Krissy!” When she said this she made air quotes with her fingers. I thought about punching her. I turned back to my locker and reached up to unhook the top of my swim suit.

“What are you doing?”

I looked over at Lana confused, “After putting on a little show now you want to change in public? What’s wrong with you? You hate changing around strangers.”

“I think, I’m just a little off, today.” I said in a soft, small voice, hoping to get a little sympathy. It worked like a charm and Lana gave me a quick hug.

“Come on.”

I followed Lana to one of the changing rooms a little curious since I’d never seen one of these things before. Lana open the door and looked at me expectantly, then I realized she meant for both of us to use it together! I tried to come up with an excuse for privacy, but when nothing came to me I stepped in. As I walked by I felt a sharp sting to my left butt cheek.

“Ow!” I spun around, boobs and ass bouncing. “Did you just pinch me?”

“Well, you’ve got such a cute butt, how was I supposed to resist?” Lana said laughing. I tried to maintain my frown but her laughter was so infectious that I found myself responding.

“Just remember, pay back’s a bitch!”

The booth was bigger than I’d thought with a bench along the side wall, a shelf opposite the bench, and a full length mirror on the wall across from the door. Lana locked the door and I moved as far away as I could to strip off my suit. Even though the booth was good sized, it was a little tight with two of us using it. I watched Lana out of the corner of my eye as she changed and couldn’t help noticing she had a great pair of toned legs that connected to a cute butt.

I felt a little flushed and by the ache in my groin I knew that my body was responding to my male thoughts. I grabbed my towel and started drying off while watching Lana as much as I dared. Her dark hair hung wetly down to the middle of her back and her breasts moved freely when she pulled off her top. Her nipples were darker and larger than mine and they sprang to attention in the cold air. I hung my dress on a hook in the booth and then dug out the black thong I’d picked out to go with the dress. I glanced back at Lana just in time to see her bend over, giving me an unobstructed view of her cleanly shaved pussy. I dropped my thong and stared.

‘My God, this is better than the strip club!’ I thought.

I felt my nipples start to tighten up and suddenly I was damp between my legs and not from pool water! I fought an urge to press my thighs tightly together and desperate to hide my arousal! I draped my towel over the bench and then sat down on it, staring at Lana’s cunt. It was within arm’s reach and I had a fantasy about leaning in and blowing on it! The feeling of being wet increased and I wanted to spread my legs apart and start rubbing, just as I had last night! Then I remembered where I was! ‘Oh, God, what the hell am I doing?’ I thought.

Lana straightened up and stepped into her panties and then turned around, boobs swinging freely, and looked in my direction. When she did she glanced at my crotch. ‘Shit!’ I thought, and brought my legs tightly together in a way no guy would ever do. I felt my face flush, ‘Did Lana know that I’d gotten horny while watching her?’

“Getting a little rough down there, aren’t we?”

I glanced down again and figured out that she was referring to the stubble that had started on my private area. I wondered what the right ‘girl’ response should be, and tried for playful.

“I’m entitled to be a little lazy, its winter and I’m between boyfriends.”

I’m not sure why I said that, I only knew how relieved I felt that she couldn’t tell how horny I was. Obviously, this was a female advantage, if I’d been back in my male body, I’d be sporting a nine inch hard-on!

Lana just shook her head, “Ku, you’re so funny!”

I stood up and when I did I couldn’t help noticing how close we were in the booth. Our nipples were practically touching! I turned around very aware of the way my boobs moved and bent over to pick up my thong. I stepped into the underwear sliding it up over my legs and felt the tiny bit of fabric cover my damp crotch. When I pulled them over my hips I felt the bit of butt-floss slide between my ass cheeks. I took a peek at Lana and saw that she’d already donned her bra and had pulled out a pair of pantyhose.

“Hey, can we trade places? I need to use the bench.”

I stepped to one side and she slid past sitting down and tucked a foot into the hose.

I’d already pulled out the black bra that matched the thong so I slipped it on and spent a few seconds getting it clasped and then adjusting my breasts. All of a sudden it hit me. There I was playing with Kristina’s boobs in front of Lana, like it was the most normal thing in the world. My face flushed with embarrassment, ‘What the hell is happening to me?’

“Hey, I don’t think I’ve seen those before.”

“Seen what?” I asked feeling confused. “My underwear?”

Lana giggled, “Well I’m not talking about your body! I’ve seen that since we were thirteen!” Then Lana made a little twirling motion with her fingers so I spun around. “They’re cute!”

After that Lana started in on a diatribe about her boyfriend Andrew and how insensitive he was. It took me a moment to remember who Andrew. Feeling like I was now on safer ground I pulled the LBD off the hanger and unzipped it before stepping into it. It fit me like a glove and before I could think to ask, Lana was behind me zipping it up.

It was now my turn to use the bench and I looked at the stockings I’d brought with me wondering how to put them on. I’d seen the kind with a garter belt but I’d thought, based on the dress, that it would show a line so I’d opted for these. Slightly dark, based on my quick glance, I figured I was supposed to pull them up over my waist. I’ve seen girlfriends over the years do this, so I tried my best to imitate what I’d seen. Fold them down, toe in, slid them up to the knee. Other toe, up to both knees, stand up and pull them up. The dress was in the way, but I just lifted it up over my waist as I pulled the pantyhose up. Once the stocking was settled over my hips, I did a couple of deep knee bends to settle them and then dropped my dress and smoothed it into place. By the time I was done Lana was already in her dress, stockings, and heels and was looking at me.

“Have you heard a word I’ve been saying?”

“Of course, Andrew forgot the two year anniversary of your first kiss. The lout! And when you brought it up he thought you were joking. Then instead of wanting to go out with us tonight, he chose to watch some stupid game at the pub with his mates!”

Lana rushed over to me to give me another hug, and I leaned into it, ‘I think I’m starting to get the hang of this!’ I thought, and then shuddered. ‘What the, fuck am I doing?!’

Lana dragged me to the mirrors over the row of sinks, apparently it was against ‘girl code’ to do makeup in the changing area. I felt a little scared now, I mean I’d talked to Kristina last night about makeup and she’d had me put it on and take it off several times while watching me from the computer. I knew that minimal was better for right now. A little cover up that pretty much matched Kristina’s skin and lipstick was easy, but the mascara was still a challenge. Luckily Lana had to dry her hair, and that gave me extra time to fix my makeup. Even so, she was done first.

“Come on slow poke, I’m starving.”

I put Kristin’s makeup away and hurried after Lana, hopefully dinner would be less stressful!

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Comments

Nice to see another chapter.

Looking forward to getting into the mysterious intrigue. In the mean time, trying to come up to speed on all things female is challenging. Given Lana and Krissy have been friends since they were 13, Lana has got to know something is going on. And what was in those text messages she didn't read?

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Wow What Fun To See Unfold.

Jim, or should I say Kristina-jim (Body-soul), is certainly 'getting the hang of it.' She is miffed at a perceived betrayal by Jim-kristina. All fired-up with roiling emotions feeding on themselves. Rather than ask 'him' directly she stews without real answers, hints at disaster, and throws a 'happy now, you selfish prick?' in his face. She'll ignore him until she feels he's suffered enough and apologizes correctly. Classic couple's fight. Can't wait to see where it goes from here.