Never Meddle in the Affairs of a Woman, Ch 4

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Chapter Four

“What Are Friends For”

***

Google is changing the culture, the phrase, “Have you Googled it?” is as common now as, “How are you.” So when I typed New World Research and Development Corporation into the search engine I got several hits. I found the link to the company’s official website and went to it. For the next forty minutes I read about the company. Founded in 1950, the company was dedicated to researching a number of new technologies, from green energy to direct human to machine interfaces and archeology. Those were the more normal sounding things, however it didn’t stop there. There was a whole department dedicated to running down ancient mysteries, the occult, and paranormal activity. Apparently anything that was so far into the extreme of what was possible that no one would touch it, interested the company.

I pushed my chair back and tried to think. There really wasn’t anything sinister about NWRDC. In fact it was the sort of place, a kid fresh out of college would want to work. It was really cutting edge, with fresh ideas, and the room to explore the limits of human knowledge. I wondered briefly where it got its funding and then moved on to looking up Mr. Stonewall.

I quickly found the part of the company website that listed its upper management and looked over the list of three vice-presidents. Then I drilled down to the director level and found Mr. Douglas Stonewall, Director of Archeological Research. What was surprising was there were no bios listed. I tried LinkedIn and got nothing. I went back to Google and tried Mr. Douglas Stonewall, no Facebook page, no hits anywhere. It was like someone, or some agency had gone in and erased his electronic profile. Curiouser and curiouser . . . who in today’s world has an invisible electronic profile? Nothing on a director of a department of a large corporation. Just then my stomach grumbled and I glanced at the clock on the computer and saw it was almost 1 pm.

“Wow, I guess time flies when you’re having fun, or screwing around on the computer.”

When I stood up to go get some lunch the odd movements of my chest combined with the feeling of my ass flexing inside my tight jeans made me want to scream. Damn it, won’t this body let me be? Just for a few hours? I knew I was being ridiculous and then I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror on the closet door. Even in a t-shirt and jeans the blonde was hot. Now with a mirror I was able to get a good look at my tight round ass and it reminded me of some of the female athletes in college. I took a second to run a hand over my rump and I noticed a weird feeling in my groin. The crotch of my jeans was pressing tightly into my new female parts. I reached down with my hand and pushed the jeans around trying to find a comfortable fit. Then it was like my lower lips under pressure from the jeans sort of parted. I turned around and saw that my jeans were now showing a classic camel’s toe.

Even though the bra hid them, I could feel my nipples getting hard and if anything this increased the moist sensation in my groin. Then it hit me, my male brain, seeing the hot blonde was starting to get turned on, and my female body was reacting to that arousal.

“God damn it!”

I opened the bedroom door and stomped down the hall ignoring the way my body felt and moved.

“Where’s that God Damned, veggie burger? This broad may be a vegetarian but I want a burger.” I snarled into the empty apartment.

I focused on frying up the fake meat and putting together a salad to go with it. Once done I carried everything, along with a glass of water to the glass dining room table that had been pushed against one wall. I took a bite of the burger and was actually impressed. I don’t know what I’d been expecting but this wasn’t bad. After a couple of bites I felt like the apartment was too quiet so I looked around for a docking station and plugged Kristina’s phone in. Then I set it to play songs at random, wondering what kind of music she listened too. By the time I finished lunch I realized she was into an eclectic mix. Show tunes, oldies, rock, and some current top 40. I let out a sigh, if only she was also into country we’d have had almost the exact same tastes.

I dumped my dishes into the sink and even though they were starting to pile up didn’t feel like cleaning them yet. Just then there was a sound from the front door, the lock turning, followed by the sound of the door opening. For a moment I didn’t know what to do and I froze in panic. Who would have keys to Kristina’s apartment? Mom, Dad, a friend . . . a boyfriend?

“Hello, Kris, are you home?”

The voice was female and suddenly I felt like I could move again. I stepped out of the kitchen just in time to meet the girl I’d seen in several photos walk into the living room. She was wearing a dark purple dress with leggings under and a warm looking dark jacket. Her dark hair and long bangs had been pulled back and tied with something I couldn’t see, leaving her face framed by dark hair. It was a casual sophisticated look. She was pretty with a figure similar to Kristina’s.

“Hey, Ku, how are you feeling?”

As she spoke the woman crossed the distance and leaned in to give me a hug. I was so surprised that it took me a second to react and by then she was look oddly at me.

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“Uh, nothing, Lana.” I added her name as an afterthought almost to see if I was guessing right.

“Come on out with it, you know you can’t keep a secret from me.”

I felt my face blush, so I blurted out sarcastically, “Fine, I met a cool guy, and swapped bodies with him for my vacation.” Then impulsively I spun around in a tight circle holding my arms over my head in an imitation of a pirouette, “What do you think? Do I make a good Kristina?”

At this Lana burst out laughing. “You’re such a goofball.” Then she gave me a kind of inquisitive look. “So, what happened to your trip? One minute you were running to catch a flight, dropping your spare keys in my mailbox, with a barely decipherable note asking me to check on your flat, and then the next day you're home, sick?!”

I felt caught off guard, although it was a logical question.

“I . . . I thought . . . I mean, the company has a branch in Mexico and there was the possibility of taking a position there.” I lied, improvising as I went. “They wanted me to fly out for an interview, but then I got a message that the position had been filled.”

“You never said anything about taking a position in Mexico!” There was a hint of accusation in her voice, and more than a hint of hurt.

“I’m sorry,” I said without thinking about it. “It was all kinda sudden, I don’t know if I would have taken it, I mean, come on, my life is here. But it was a free trip to Mexico, and its winter!” I added a hint of a whine to my voice hoping to convince her.

Lana’s face softened, “An all-expense paid trip to Mexico would be nice. Sorry, that you didn't get to go, sweetie.” and then jokingly added, “You should have asked them for an extra ticket to get me on as your travel companion. Then I'd be off right now to pick a bone with that weird ass boss of yours, hah!” she chuckled and feeling like I needed to play along I forced a giggle.

“But why did you tell me you weren’t up for shopping then? That's just what the doctor ordered, after such a bad day!?”

At this I stopped smiling, “I really was sick, and I don’t know . . .” I desperately wracked my brain for an acceptable female excuse. “I think I’m PMSing.”

At this Lana gave me a sympathetic look and then with a mischievous grin said, “Well you know the cure for PMS?”

“Chocolate?”

“No! Shopping, and maybe a hot chocolate while we’re out.”

At this point I could see that I wasn’t going to win my argument and conceded defeat, “Fine give me a sec to find my . . . er . . . purse.”

Lana gave me a surprised look, “You’re not going out like that?!”

“Sure, why?”

“Cause you’d scare off anyone we might meet. What’s wrong with you today?”

“A severe case of melancholy.”

“Melancholy? Ha! Okay, then I’m your melancholy cure. Come with me, dolly.” Lana grabbed my arm and despite my protests pulled me into Kristina’s bedroom. As she opened the door Lana wrinkled her nose, “Foo! Did you turn your bedroom into a sleazy pub? I can still smell the alcohol!”

“Damn, I think I've been in this apartment too long, can't smell a thing, I should probably open the window . . .”

“Sit” she said in an authoritative voice and pointed at the bed. Then after looking at me she reached out and grabbed my chin tilting it up and then to the left and right. I wanted to slap her hand away and tell her she was invading my personal space. But then Kristina’s direction to, BE HER, for the next two weeks came back and I let it go.

“Kris, what have you done to your hair? And why are you talking with an American accent?”

“Uhm, well, I washed it.”

“With what, a bar of soap?”

“I wish,” I said under my breath. I hadn’t seen a bar of soap in Kristina’s bathroom.

“What?”

“Nothing, hey, look, I don’t look so bad and besides I’m not interested in meeting anyone right now. Oh, and I was trying to be funny.” I said, doing my best to imitate a Brit.

“Are you kidding? Who are you and what have you done with Kristina?

With that Lana collected a brush and hairdryer moving around the small bedroom like she knew where everything was and handed them to me with an expecting look. I looked down at them, sort of befuddled. At that she let out a sigh and mistaking my confusion for apathy.

“Okay, so just how much did you have to drink last night? A little too much tequila to drown your sorrow over not getting to go to Mexico? Hmmm?”

Before I knew it she was sitting behind me cross-legged on the bed brushing and blow drying my hair. Within a few seconds I figured out why women use conditioner. My hair was a knotted mess of tangles and as Lana worked I wanted to scream at her to let me be. This was almost as bad as when the government had sent me to Survival Escape Resistance and Evasion school.

As she worked Lana kept up a steady monolog, filling me in on the last couple of days. Apparently she and her boyfriend Andrewwere in the middle of a fight. There was the possibility of a promotion at work. She’d had to take her car into the shop, and can you believe how mechanics talk down to women? I sort of felt like a piece of flotsam caught up in a flood of conversation. I added a word here and there just to keep her going while pretending to know what she was talking about.

“There. All done!”

Lana clicked off the hair dryer and I moved over to the mirror and ran a hand through my newly dried tresses. The blonde hair fell down in a golden cascade that framed Kristina’s face perfectly.

“Wow, this looks a lot better thanks.”

I turned around and found Lana inside my personal space leaning in to give me another hug. This time I was prepared and hugged her back only I hadn’t taken my stupid boobs into account. I realized that girl’s sort of lean forward from the waist when they hug so they don’t squish each other’s breasts.

Lana let go, “You are out of it!” Then a note of accusation filled her voice, “Did Justin call?”

“No! It’s just been a really weird couple of days.”

“Weirder than normal? I mean, even taking into account where you work?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Fine, why are you wearing one of Justin's old punk band shirts? I'm surprised you haven't thrown them out yet.” Lana said folding her arms under her breasts.

“If you don’t like this shirt, then you pick one out.” I responded, feeling clever since I had no idea what Kristina would pick.

“Alright,” and with that Lana went to Kristina’s closet. Within a few seconds she came back with a black blouse, cut low enough to show a hint of cleavage and a light blue silk top that looked like it would cover more of me.

“Well?”

I grabbed the blue one and Lana giggled, “Feeling a little sexy are we?”

I had no idea what she was talking about, “Give me a second and I’ll change.”

Lana looked confused, “Go ahead.”

Then it struck me, she was expecting me to change in front of her. I felt a flash of irritation and I wanted to tell her to get out, but I knew that would make my poor job of imitating Kristina even worse. I reached down and pulled off the t-shirt, for a second it hung up in my bra and then I had it off. I picked up the blue blouse and it was then I realized it fastened in back, with a zipper! I put my arms through and then reached behind to try to zip it up but the damn thing was tiny.

Before I could ask her Lana was behind me zipping it up. “There you go, now turn around.”

“Thanks,” I said, and then I spotted myself in the mirror. The blue silk top was form fitting and clung tightly to my waist before flaring out to show off my chest. I instantly knew what Lana had meant, it was a tasteful, yet sexy top that called attention to Kristina’s best features. ‘Damn it this isn’t what I wanted,’ I thought.

“Now some mascara and lipstick and you’re ready.”

I wracked my brain for a second and then remembered seeing what looked like makeup in the bathroom.

“I think I’m a little too shaky from my hangover for makeup. I’d probably poke my eye out! ”

Lana, just snorted and led me to the bathroom. I was a little surprised at how quickly she was able to apply makeup to my face. In no time at all Lana moved around behind me so we could both look into the mirror at the same time, and announced, “Ta-da!”

“Uhm, gee, thanks?”

Lana shook her head, “You’re such a drama queen. Let’s go.”

I found a pair of calf high leather boots with a bit of a heel and slipped them on. I’d seen boots like this before so I didn’t need to be coached to tuck my jeans into them and zip them up. When I stood up I was relieved to see that the heel wasn’t any higher than the cowboy boots I typically wore.

“Alright, time to hit the stores!” Lana’s enthusiasm was contagious and I felt my lips quirk up in a smile.

***

Fortunately Lana volunteered to drive, since even though I’m somewhat familiar with London I wasn’t familiar enough to drive. As we left Kristina’s apartment I noticed that I now lived on the top floor and that the building was a much older style. I looked around the neighborhood trying not to be too obvious as I attempted to get my bearings. We passed a cemetery and that seemed like a good reference point. Lana had been talking but I hadn’t really been paying attention. Then I realized that she’d stopped, probably because she’d asked me a question.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I just asked if you were up for taking the tube to Oxford Street. I want to check out the Forever 21.”

“Uhm, sure.”

Going clothes shopping was the last thing I wanted to do, but I didn’t see any way out of it. At least if we took the tube it would mean less time alone with Lana and less risk of screwing up.

“Brilliant!”

Lana flashed me a smile, and it caught me off guard. Her enthusiastic expression brightened her whole face making her cute enough to take my breath away. If I’d been in my male body I’d have asked her out on the spot. Then she pulled the car into a parking lot and we headed off to the tube.

I’d found Kristina’s purse during my Skype tour of the apartment along with the closet that held her jacket. Now as we walked down the stairs I started searching for her pass. Then I spotted her Oyster card and got it out. By the time I reached the bottom of the steps Lana was waiting for me.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I just thought I’d left my card for a second.”

I followed Lana as we navigated the station to the platform and when I looked around at the people traveling I felt my heart race. At first I was afraid that someone would spot me and call me out for pretending to be a girl. I knew this was an irrational fear but it was hard to suppress. Then after we boarded a train I started to notice that I was taller than most of the women and a few of the men. I hadn’t really thought about it when I’d met Kristina but she was tall for a woman. I’d been taller than her, but I’d had an extra two inches from my boots. ‘I bet we’re almost the same height,’ I thought and then looked over at Lana and saw that she was a little taller than me.

It was early afternoon and the rush to get home from work hadn’t started yet, but there were plenty of people on the tube. I felt like I was being watched so I glanced over my shoulder and saw a guy, at least twice my age, and look away. Lana had seen and she giggled and nudged me. Then I realized that he’d been checking me out! ‘Pervert,’ I thought.

As we rode along Lana kept up a stream of conversation about people that we both knew. I couldn’t really follow, but did my best to say yes and no at the right times and make the appropriate noises. This was made even harder for me because I was distracted watching how people were reacting to us. Women for the most part ignored us. The men were a different story. For the first time in my life I suddenly felt small. Even though I was tall, for a woman, most of the men were taller. I was also acutely aware that I didn’t have the strength I normally did. The looks I was getting from the men around me practically seared my skin, particularly my butt. I was really regretting the tight jeans I’d opted for, I mean, hell, I could have just spray painted my ass!

Luckily, the journey ended and we headed up out of the tube and toward Oxford Street. I have NEVER liked shopping. It’s always seemed like a colossal waste of time. Even with an enthusiastic partner. Lana kept grabbing clothes for herself while simultaneously tossing things at me. Everything had to be tried on, holding it up for some reason wasn’t good enough. Then as if frustrated by my sluggish pace she started jumping into the changing booths with me. The first time she pushed her way in I was stunned.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you think, silly, you seem to have forgotten everything you know about clothes, so, I’m helping! Now, get that top off!”

She also had no shame, stripping down to her underwear in front of me and asking my opinion about this dress, or top, or skirt. That woman’s shopping endurance seemed supernatural to me.

Abruptly, I felt like I was being watched. I was standing between racks and Lana was about twenty feet away going through a rack marked 30% off with the enthusiasm of a miner panning for gold. I looked around cautiously and saw that the store was almost entirely filled with women. I’d been expecting that, it was a women’s clothing store, after all. There were a couple of unfortunate saps, standing by one wall, holding their significant other’s bags.

Lana made some kind of happy sound, like she’d just struck gold. I glanced at her to see her hold up a top for approval. I gave her a thumbs up and a smile. Lana frowned looked back at the top and then stuck it back on the rack. I shook my head in confusion, ‘women!’

Then I felt it again and this time when I looked up I caught a glimpse of a man in a suit looking in through the front window. We made eye contact and he turned around and walked away. ‘What the hell?’ I thought, and moved toward Lana. I knew, instinctively, that there was safety in numbers.

“Hey, there’s a great lingerie store just up the street, do you want to give it a try?”

I gave her a quick look and saw that she was serious, “Ah, no . . . not today . . . I’m . . . Ah . . . good on . . . uhm . . . undies and stuff.”

At this Lana gave me a strange look and then burst into a fit of giggles. “Okay, why are you talking with an American accent, again?” At the look of confusion on my face she shook her head, “Fine be that way.” Then she came over and grabbed my hand, “Come on girl, you need something sexy to take your mind off Justin, and that failed trip to Mexico.”

The next thing I knew she was dragging me out of the store. I tried to resist and discovered that Lana is stronger than she looks! There was no way this woman could manhandle me into a store full of frilly bits of silk and fabric. Yet, there I was being pulled down the street. I thought about twisting my arm and pulling against her thumb. That would break her grip, but it would also make her stumble.

“Lana, let go of me!”

There must have been something in my voice because she stopped. “What is wrong with you today? Normally you love shopping. Usually you’d be dragging me into a lingerie store.”

Then down the street I spotted the same guy who’d been looking at me through the window of the last store. Suddenly I didn’t want to be out on the street.

“Look, we’ll go in, you just don’t have to pull me the whole way.”

“Alright, let’s go, then.”

The first thing that hit me about the store was the flowery scent. After that I noticed that it had been painted in bright colors and there were mannequins all over wearing scraps of clothes that barely qualified as . . . well, clothes.

“Ohh, look a baby doll, in pale blue.”

I shook my head and looked around. In spite of myself I started to wonder what Kristina would look like in some of this stuff. Something black, with red or green accents, maybe. I moved to a rack and started looking through the clothes, if you could call them that. I tried to split my time watching the door, Lana, and the clothes in front of me.

Then Lana was next to me, “This would look perfect on you!”

She was holding up some kind of black corset thing with a matching pair of panties and stockings.

“I don’t even know how to put that thing on.” I blurted out.

Lana laughed, “I’ll help you!”

Before I could say no, I was pulled into a changing booth and ordered to strip. By now I was familiar with the process, but once I was down to my underwear Lana just laughed. She reached up and with one quick move unhooked my bra. I let out a little squeal, far too feminine for my male mind to reconcile, and I tried to catch the cups before they fell away.

“What are you doing?”

It’s got a built in bra, and for us to see how to looks you’ve got to take yours off. Now get moving.”

Reluctantly, I shrugged out of my bra and the cold air of the booth made my nipples stand at attention. Then she was pulling the corset on over my head. Once it was settled around my hips Lana came around to inspect the front. Again, before I knew what she was doing she reached into the top and moved my boobs around.

“Hey, I yelped,” and this time the yelp was two octaves higher than the last time and I swatted her hands away. “What are you doing?!”

Lana had already moved around behind me. “Since you seem to have forgotten how to get dressed I’m helping.” Then she giggled like she was having the time of her life, “And feeling you up.”

In a few seconds she had the strings pulled tight. I could still breathe but when I looked into the mirror I saw that the corset had pushed my breasts up making them seem larger, like a pair of balloons that had just been inflated. Then Lana moved to the front and started on a second set of strings.

“If you buy this you can leave the back tied and you’ll just have to tighten the front when you wear it.”

“Uhm . . .” was all I could think to say.

After a few tugs I found it hard to breath. “Enough, I can’t breathe like this.”

Lana gave it one more tug, tied it, and stepped back. Now when I looked into the mirror I was stunned. Kristina had a nice figure but this garment had changed it into a classic hourglass! My waist had to be under twenty eight inches!

“I’ll buy it if you just help me get out of it!” I said in desperation.

Lana put her hand over her mouth to stop the giggles, “Kris, you look fantastic in it!”

I know that I slipped up a few more times because Lana would give me an odd look and then shrug it off. I hoped she was chalking it up to Kristina’s ‘random and quirky’ personality and my supposed apathy resulting from my disappointment over not getting to go to Mexico. By the time we were headed back to the tube I’d only gotten one more look at my mysterious stalker and then he was gone. That was a good thing because I was now encumbered with a pair of shopping bags one with lingerie and the other with a pair of heels Lana had insisted I buy. Lana had twice the number of bags, including several things per bag! Lord that woman could shop.

“So do you want to go clubbing tonight?”

“What? Don’t you have to work tomorrow?”

“True, probably best to stay in.

At this Lana pulled her car to a stop in front of my building and put it into park. Then she smiled and leaned over to give me a hug. “An all-expense paid trip to Mexico would have been nice.”

I reached for the door handle to make my escape when she said, “Don’t forget, we’re going to the health club after work tomorrow. With the holidays coming we both need to get a little work in.”

After the day I’d had, all I wanted to do as escape, “Sure, send me a text tomorrow and we can firm up the details.”

***

I’d no sooner said goodbye to Lana and walked up to my apartment when my phone started buzzing. I sat the bags down, kicked the door closed and fished around in Kristina’s purse. I pulled it out and saw that it was Kristina’s mom. With a sigh I hit talk.

“Hi, mum.” I tried to sound cheerful, and British.

“Hi, Kristina, how are you doing?”

“Honestly, I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather.” I was trying for some of that classic British reserve. But I was off balance from my afternoon with Lana.

“Oh, darling, I’m sorry to hear that, do you need me to pop over?”

“No, mum, I’m getting better, I just need to get to bed early.”

“I guess you won’t be making it to dinner.” There was a bit of disappointment in her voice.

“Was I supposed to come over?”

“I invited you last week. Don’t you remember, we just don’t get to see you very much. Your sister misses you.”

I could tell she was trying to work a guilt trip on me but I wasn’t going to fall for it. I didn’t really know her and going to a strange house and pretending to be her daughter wasn’t something I thought I could pull off.

“I’m sorry mum. Hey, I’ve got another call buzzing in.”

“Okay, bye dear, I hope you’re feeling better.”

I pushed the end button and leaned back against the door.

“How, the hell did I get myself into this?”

I looked down at the bags and thought about Lana and watching her change. At the time I’d been so worried about blowing it I hadn’t really thought about how she looked. Now, however, I had the time and I couldn’t resist grinning. It was every prepubescent male fantasy to watch a hot girl change clothes all afternoon. Like I was the invisible man and I’d been following her around all day. Not, that I was a prepubescent male, but it was still kind of cool.

I picked up my bags and tossed them into Kristina’s closet not bothering to unpack them. ‘Kristina can deal with it when she’s back.’ I thought. Besides she was the one who’d be getting the credit card bill. I wondered briefly what she’d think of the lingerie I’d bought but dismissed it. I’d be back in my body so it wouldn’t matter.

I shucked off the jeans and top and not thinking twice about being in my underwear, dug up a pair of shorts and a loose black and green t-shirt with a sports team on it I didn’t recognize. As I went to pull the shirt on I realized the wires under my bra were digging into my ribs. With a sigh I took it off and flung it into a corner and then pulled the t-shirt on. The lycra of the sports shirt was a little rough against my nipples but I ignored it. I grabbed the computer and took it to the coffee table in the living room and hunted through the kitchen for something to eat. I spotted a can of vegetable soup. ‘Just the ticket!’ I thought and dumped it into a pot and put it on the stove to simmer.

I took a look at the white wine in the fridge, but then went to the cabinet in the living room that held an assortment of liquor. I spotted a bottle of gin and after a second some tonic water. Armed with a gin and tonic I returned to the kitchen and took a sip while I waited for the soup to boil. I almost sputtered when the harsh taste of a double shot of gin hit my tongue. ‘Maybe a little more tonic next time, and a twist of lemon.’ I thought. By now the soup was bubbling. I grabbed a spoon and took the pot over to the glass table. After a second I found a washcloth to put under it and started eating out of the pot.

“This place is too damn quiet.” I said into the silence. I found the remote and turned the TV on. There was another rugby match going on but I flipped it to a news channel and turned the volume down so that I’d have the background noise but wouldn’t really have to listen to it. The rugby reminded me too much of how I ended up here, in the first place.

By the time I dumped my soup pot into the sink I’d mixed a second gin and sat down on the sofa. I sort of leaned back spreading out as much as I could, legs wide, unlady like, arms along the back of the couch. My body was sore! The workout I’d put Kristina’s body through this morning left me aching, and then spending the whole afternoon walking around with Lana hadn’t helped. However, the alcohol was starting to kick in and dull the pain. I looked at the time on the computer and saw I had about an hour before Kristina was supposed to Skype.

I tried flicking through the TV but there really wasn’t anything on. I settled on a game show that involved trivia but after about twenty minutes gave up. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I thought about the events of the day and the number of times I’d screwed up with Lana. Did she know something was off? She hadn’t called me on it, well except the American accent thing, but hopefully she was writing it off to me being goofy or depressed over my canceled trip. Still, she’d given me plenty of odd looks. Of course there was no way she could suspect that I’d actually swap bodies with Kristina, it was too impossible to be considered.

Then I started thinking about what she’d looked like while changing. Dark hair, creamy skin, and a nice rack, bigger than Kristina’s if I was going to guess. I closed my eyes visualizing what she’d looked like with her bra off, sexy, yet totally unaware. As I turned my imagination loose thinking about Lana’s body my nipples started to get hard. As I imagined what it would feel like to rub Lana’s breast I reached up with my right hand to start rubbing my left tit, “uhmmmm.”

As I rubbed my chest the warmth in my groin increased and I spread my legs further apart and felt the skin in my groin stretch in response. I remembered staring at Lana in her blue panties, I’d been able to see the outline of her pussy lips. I imagined what it would feel like to touch them. Flat, soft, and hot with a slight crease. It felt like my pussy was on fire. I imagined it was Lana’s pussy I was touching as I reached down and slipped my hand under my shorts and started rubbing my own flat crotch through my panties.

“Hmmmm . . .”

The soft female moan sounded just like I imagined Lana would sound if I was rubbing her pussy. Then I moved from playing with my left boob to start working the right one. My mind was awash in alien sensations yet somehow I noticed that my underwear was getting incredibly damp. I could now feel a set of lips between my thighs and then I discovered the little nub of skin above my slit and when I rubbed it felt sharp electric jolts of erotic pleasure hit my system.

“Oh, God!”

I’d never imagined anything could feel so good! Then I thought of Jill and the look on her face as I pushed my cock into her tight pussy. The image was so erotic I almost came in that instant. I increased the pace of my stroking and the ache got worse and worse. The need to be filled was so intense I almost lost it.

“Ohhhhh” I moaned and even though I knew I shouldn’t I slipped my hand under my thin silk panties. My finger found my hot, wet, slit and without thinking about it I pushed inside. The angle was different from this morning, and spreading my legs so far apart made it feel different, better. There was a whole deferent tension in my vagina. I tried to wiggle my butt as I pushed my middle finger in. I remembered screwing Jill just before I’d left for Ireland. We’d been on the sofa at my hose, she’d been on her back and I’d been drilling her while she lifted her hips in time to my thrusts. I started lifting my hips, just as Jill had, in time to meet my thrusting finger, the sensations, the intensity . . . increased.

“Oh, Gooooooooood.”

It now felt like my whole body was on fire and I could somehow tell I was approaching a climax. I could smell my own arousal and that caused me to thrust harder, yet the desire to be filled only grew worse. Then before I could think about it I somehow managed to slide a second finger into my pussy. The stretching, filling, sensation felt wonderful and I imagined my hand was my own cock and I was fucking Jill with it. Then I found that spot I’d found this morning and I met each thrust of my fingers by lifting my hips I was right on the edge of a cliff . . . then I was over and my whole body was rocked by a series of spasms. I discovered I had a set of inner muscles that could clamp down on my grasping, thrusting, probing fingers.

“Aahhhhhh. . .”

The orgasm left me panting, my male brain flooded with female sensations. It felt so wrong. I was a man! I didn’t have an ache that needed to be filled! I had a desire to thrust, to fill, and to dominate. But I couldn’t deny this was what my body wanted and it felt soooooo damn good. As I came down off the orgasm I kept thrusting and stroking enjoying the aftershock of the orgasm. As I did I learned that I could use my thumb to play with my clit while hitting that sweet spot inside my cunt with my fingers. By alternating, thrust, stroke, thrust, stroke, thrust I could build up the tension, more slowly this time.

Every cell of my body felt alive, I switched my attention back to my left breast. Then I felt the heat build again in my crotch and I started trying to meet each thrust by squeezing my new inner muscles and pushing up with my hips. Once again I imagined that I was Jill and I was lifting my hips to meet my own manly thrusts. Very quickly my clitoris felt like it was on fire and I was coming closer to that amazing spasmodic clenching of muscles that I’d come to associate with my new female climax.

I was now working harder and harder lifting my hips into each powerful thrust. Thrust, stroke, thrust, stroke, thrust, stroke, thrust, stroke, thrust, stroke, thrust, stroke, thrust . . . “Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god, ohhhhhh” My arm was getting tired but I couldn’t stop now, in my mind’s eye I could see Jill’s face, sweaty, glowing with passion as she dug her fingernails into my back screaming.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh.”

The woman’s cry of passion was timed perfectly with my own powerful orgasm and I lifted my hips into that last powerful thrust the pushed me over the edge for the second time. Every muscle clenched up and those amazing muscles in my canal clamped down on my thrusting fingers!

As I slowly came down from the incredible sensations little spasms, orgasmic aftershocks, continued to hit my system. ‘So that’s what a multiple orgasm is like,’ I thought in awe, and realized that I just wanted to curl up around a pillow. My whole body tingled with pleasure and then I became aware of the smell and how wet and messy my crotch felt. ‘Where the hell did all of that liquid come from?’ I wondered, as I pulled my glistening fingers up for inspection. I couldn’t resist bringing them to my nose. The scent of hot pussy was strong, all of that had come from this . . . er . . . my body? I sat up and saw a box of tissues on the table. Using my left hand to keep my panties away from my soaking wet pussy I reached for the tissue and the computer chimed.

An incoming Skype call. Jill? I froze in shock and embarrassment. Then I realized it couldn’t be Jill, it had to be Kristina. I moved over so I could see the computer scren and confirmed that it was the icon I used when Skyping, then my current situation hit me.

“Shit! I can’t let Kristina see me like this!”

But I also really didn’t want to miss her call. After a second’s indecision I grabbed a wad of tissue and quickly wiped up my vagina and then moved over to the computer and hit answer. The screen came alive and I could see my former face sitting in front of a pool somewhere sunny and warm. Kristina was sitting there topless and I could see my sculpted chest and shoulders. I felt a flash of jealousy that he could sit topless in public.

“Hey, how are you holding up?” Kristina’s voice was a deep thrum that gave me goose flesh.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a shopping trip with Lana planned for today?” The accusation came out before I had a chance to think about it.

His face fell, “Shit! Look, I’m sorry. I forgot all about that.”

“Just like your forgot about giving her a set of keys to the apartment or dinner at your mom’s?”

“Damn it, yes, did Lana come over?”

“Yeah, and she dragged me out. That girl just won’t take no for an answer.”

At this he chuckled, “I know, right? It’s one of the things I love about her.” Then his face clouded over, “Do you think she suspects?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Of course. I mean its obvious right. Her best friend just swapped bodies with some strange American guy.”

“Ha!” he said, and then lifted a Corona and took a long pull.

“So you had a good time?”

“I . . .”

Before I could answer he leaned into his screen. “What have you been up too?” There was an accusation in his voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Well you’re nipping out like crazy, your hair is sort of wild, your face is red and sweaty, and you have what Lana would call a freshly fucked look!”

I felt my face flush and I looked down, “I . . . I mean . . . well . . . I’ve just . . . worked out!” I could feel my face burning with embarrassment.

“Mmmm, worked out in my body? Or worked out ON my body?”

“Ummmmm . . . .”

“Hehehehehehehehe . . .” the sound of him laughing ended my stumbling attempts at misdirection.

“You’re not mad?”

“At what, a little self-exploration? No, not at all. I mean,” and here he kind of gestured at his groin. “This damn thing is like a piece of iron every morning. The only way I can walk around is if I . . . you know.” Now it was his turn to look a little embarrassed.

“Spank the monkey? Choke the chicken, Stroke the one-eyed snake? Snap off a quickie?”

I watched as my former face heated up and felt a little satisfaction. Then I sighed. “I guess some self-exploration is unavoidable. But now that the cat is out of the bag, I'd like to set some ground rules. And since I was the one who had no clue that I was going to be loaning out my body . . .”

He nodded.

“One, don’t make me a dad! If you’re going to use that thing, then use protection.”

“Uh, I’m not exactly attracted to women.”

“What?!”

“Well, I’ve always liked guys. I don’t think that’s changed just because, you know, I’m in a boy’s body. I mean, I can look in the mirror and think about how good it would fell if that stud stuck his cock into me and all of a sudden I’m hard.” He snapped his fingers, “Like that.”

I didn’t know what to say. I mean on the one hand it made sense, I’d started to get turned on when I remembered what Lana had looked like naked and then thinking of sex with Jill had really sent me over the top. But on the other hand the idea of Kristina using my body to fuck some guy made my stomach roll.

“And while we’re talking about it, why the hell do I get hard for no reason?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I was just sitting there on the airplane minding my own business and the flight attendant leaned over to pass a drink to the guy next to me. When she leaned back I was hard. Just like that. What, the fuck, is that all about?”

“Hehehe . . . maybe you’re not as into guys as you think.”

“What?”

“Well, just think about it. My body is a hetro male body. Mentally you’re a straight female. There has to be some kind of crazy conflict going on inside of both of us. Which side has the upper hand, the body or the mind? I think it might change from moment to moment. When the flight attendant leaned over did she brush up against you with her rack?”

Kristina nodded.

“So your body got a good whiff of her pheromones. Even though you didn’t think it very hot or sexy, the caveman in side of you just smashed his club on the ground and went, ‘Ugh, Mongo smell female! Mongo want female! Make strong babies with female!’”

The wide-eyed look of surprise on my former face was so comical that I burst into a fit of giggles.

“It’s not that funny, damn it.” But as he said it I could see his eyes twinkle and that he was struggling to hold back a laugh.

“Welcome to the world of male hormones and the masculine sex drive!” Then I sobered up a little. “Do me a favor, though. I’ve never been with a guy. For you to have sex you have to . . . you know . . . anal.” I paused feeling embarrassed.

“Yeah, and?”

“How would you feel if this body, if you were a virgin, and I broke your Hyman with someone while you were in my body?”

I could see my point sink in but then he looked up, “It’s not exactly the same you know.”

“Yeah, but it’s similar. There are other ways to get off, just please?”

“Okay, okay. But if it puts your mind more at ease, I don't exactly have a lot of time for hooking up . . .” For the first time during our chat session he looked really unsure of himself. “But hey, the same rules apply to you. If you get me knocked up, you’re going to stay me, carry the baby, and give birth! And you’ll legally declare that you’re the father and pay child support!” he pointed a finger at me as if to emphasize the point.

“Don’t worry. I may have been doing a tiny, itsy-bitsy bit of exploring just before you called, but I don’t have any plans to have sex with ANYONE much less a guy.”

After that there was a long pause, “So do you have any questions?”

“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I’ve got a list and it starts with makeup lessons.”

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Comments

I think the longer they stay

I think the longer they stay switched, the more they will move over to the other side of the gender fence in their minds.

The best of both worlds is

The best of both worlds is coming, I can tell

Karen