Twisted Throwback, part 18 of 25

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“— trick to make herself look like a girl, she could look like a supermodel, and instead —”

“She looks fine,” Vic said. “Better than fine. And I think her trick’s mostly subconscious — she’s making us see the girl she thinks of herself as. A girl next door, not a model. I respect that. And I don’t think Rob does.”


Twisted Throwback

part 18 of 25

by Trismegistus Shandy

This story is set, with Morpheus' permission, in his Twisted universe. It's set about a generation later than "Twisted", "Twisted Pink", etc. A somewhat different version was serialized on the morpheuscabinet2 mailing list in January-April 2014.

Thanks to Morpheus, Maggie Finson, D.A.W., Johanna, and JM for beta-reading earlier drafts. Thanks to Grover, Paps Paw, and others who commented on the earlier serial.



The endocrinologists' clinic was a couple of miles from Mrs. Annabelle’s Porch, near the hospital. I signed in and sat down in the waiting room next to Mildred and Uncle Jack. We were still a few minutes early.

There was a heavily overweight lady sitting near us who was staring at Mildred — she wasn’t the only one who looked, but the others, except for a couple of little kids who didn’t know better, looked and then got over their shock and remembered their manners. Finally Uncle Jack got fed up and said to her: “I’ll thank you, ma’am, not to stare at my niece like that.”

“I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I should know better, only — well, I’ve never seen or heard of that kind of ailment.”

“It’s not a disease,” Mildred said defiantly. “I’m Twisted.”

(That was a big argument sixty or seventy years or so ago when the children of Antarctic Flu survivors started going through their Twists: should being Twisted be considered a disease? Doctors finally decided it wasn’t, but that the costs of dealing with it should be covered by the same programs that covered pregnancy and immunizations. Problems caused by Twists have their own separate diagnoses — for instance, I found out later that Dr. Underwood had classified me as having “Twist-Induced Gender Dysphoria,” and I think Aunt Wendy’s problem is called “Twist-Induced Self-Injury Disorder.”)

“I’m the one here to see the doctor,” I said, hoping to draw some fire off of Mildred. “I’ve got a hormone imbalance because of my Twist.”

“I see,” she said, though of course she didn’t. She picked up her tablet and started reading, but she kept glancing at us pretty frequently. I squeezed Mildred’s hand and smiled at her, and went back to studying.

After a while a nurse called me back, and drew a couple of vials of blood, and had me undress and lie under a scanner. She showed a little surprise when I took my clothes and my fake breasts off; I asked: “Didn’t you know why I’m here?”

“I knew, yes — but I was surprised at how... I mean, with your clothes on you look perfectly natural as a girl, and now...”

“It’s my trick,” I said. “Let’s get this over with so I can get dressed.”

She ran the scanner and told me I could get dressed and go out to the waiting room again. “We’ll call you when the doctor’s ready,” she said.

It was half an hour more before they called me again. The nurse led me to an exam room and left me, and a couple of minutes later an Asian woman younger than Uncle Jack came in.

“Good afternoon, Emily. I’m Dr. Park.”

“Uh, hi. I guess Dr. Underwood told you what I’m here for?”

“Yes; your mother forwarded me his referral message, and I talked to him on the phone yesterday. I understand your Twist resulted in a kind of gender dysphoria, and he wants you to start a puberty blocker regimen, assuming no contraindications?”

“That’s right.”

“I’ve seen the scans, but I’ll need to examine you as well... and, um, if you could turn off your trick so I can see what you actually look like, that would help.”

“It turns off by itself when I undress,” I said, starting to unbutton my blouse. Dr. Park was putting on plastic gloves. I’ll gloss over the exam — it was embarrassing and uncomfortable, but didn’t last long.

“Are you shaving or using depilatory cream?”

“Depilatory.”

“How much facial or chest hair did you have before?”

“Enough to grow a goatee, but not a full beard...”

While I was getting dressed again, Dr. Park made some notes on her tablet, and then said:

“I’ll need to see the results of the blood tests, which may take until tomorrow afternoon, but if there are no problems there, I’ll call your pharmacy after I see the results and order a couple of drugs for you. One you’ll take once a day, with meals, and the other twice a day...” She explained more about the side effects to watch out for and so forth, and I made notes.

“Have you any more questions for me?” she asked.

“Yeah, actually... Do you have any experience at hormone replacement therapy? You look kind of young...”

“I’m thirty-four; I graduated from medical school when I was twenty-five, younger than most people. No, I’ve never treated a transsexual before, but some of the treatments I do for women with hormone imbalances are not all that different from what you’ll need, assuming you and Dr. Underwood decide to proceed with it. And I’ve done a lot of research in the last few days, before figuring out what to prescribe for you — and I’ll do a lot more before we move on to synthetic estrogen supplements and so forth.”

“Okay. Yeah, I trust you if Dr. Underwood recommended you, I just wanted to know.”

The nurse brought Uncle Jack back to the exam room, and Dr. Park told him some of what she’d told me. Then we made an appointment for a couple of weeks later, the Monday after Thanksgiving — this time I was able to get an appointment at four-thirty, so I wouldn’t have to miss any classes. After that, we drove home.

It was past four when we got back to Trittsville. I’d messaged Lionel and Vic once we were out of Rome traffic and I had a good idea when we’d get home, and Lionel repeated his invitation to come over and game after I got back. I told Uncle Jack, and after checking with Mom, he dropped me off at Lionel’s house before returning home with Mildred.

“Hey, Emily,” Lionel said, letting me in. “Vic’s in the can; we’re about ready to get started. You want to eat something first?”

“A little something, yeah.”

We snacked and chatted for a couple of minutes, until Vic came back from the bathroom. “Hi, Emily,” he said. “How’d the doctor visit go?”

“Pretty good. She’s waiting on some blood test results — if they look okay, I’ll start getting my medicine tomorrow.”

Lionel shifted uncomfortably. “That’s the medicine that’ll make you a girl? I mean, physically?”

“No,” I sighed, “not yet.” I explained about the puberty blockers. “Hopefully in a couple of weeks I can start getting hormone replacement therapy. But it might be up to three months.” Or never, if the blood test results showed something wrong... but I shied away from that thought.

“I hope it’s soon,” Vic said.

“Thanks... I guess I’d better go use the restroom before we start playing.”

I went and peed, but something was wrong with the toilet and it didn’t flush as normal, just gradually diluted the pee-water with a thin stream of clean water. I shrugged and washed my hands, intending to tell Lionel or one of his parents about it, though they probably already knew.

As I returned down the hall to the living room, I heard Lionel talking:

“— trick to make herself look like a girl, she could look like a supermdel, and instead —”

I paused. With the toilet not working right, they hadn’t heard it flush and didn’t know I was finished.

“She looks fine,” Vic said. “Better than fine. And I think her trick’s mostly subconscious — she’s making us see the girl she thinks of herself as. A girl next door, not a model. I respect that. And I don’t think Rob does.”

“You’re on about that again? If you don’t want Rob taking her out, why not ask her out yourself?”

“I can’t — I mean — I’m all mixed up about her...”

I couldn’t stand to hear any more. I went back down the hall toward the bathroom, took a deep breath, and returned, making more noise. The conversation broke off before I got close enough to hear what else they were saying.

“Hey,” I said, “your toilet’s not flushing right.”

“Yeah,” Lionel said, “Dad’s supposed to pick up some parts at the hardware store so we can fix it. You about ready?”

“Sure.” I forced a smile, sat down on the sofa next to Vic, and put on my helmet and gloves.


As Vic was driving me home after the game session, he said: “I thought you said Kiera and Oscar should get closer?”

I shifted uncomfortably and glanced at him. “Well, yeah. Maybe not quite as fast as that.”

“Hmm. You were kind of giving mixed signals there. I wasn’t sure if — are you sure you’re okay with this? Our characters being involved in the game, while you’re involved with Rob in real life?”

“I’m not involved involved with him,” I said, and fell silent. I wanted to say: “If you want me, I’d rather be with you than Rob.” But I couldn’t.

When we were almost to my house, he said: “Well, we can play it either way. I just want to make sure you’re really okay with it.” He parked the car and I opened my door.

“You want to come in for a few minutes?” I asked.

“I’d better go, my mom’s expecting me home for supper. See you tomorrow.”

“See you.”

Mom and Dad wanted to hear more about what Dr. Park had said, though Uncle Jack had already told them what he’d heard. I told them everything twice, in answering their redundant questions.

Mildred and I practiced our tricks for a few minutes after supper, and then I studied until time for bed.


Wednesday after Physics, Vic walked with me to Calculus as usual. He told me about a book he’d started reading last night — a biography of Thucydides West. I perked up and listened.

“I might like to borrow that when you’re done,” I said.

I ate lunch with Sarah, Olive and Morgan. I was quiet, thinking about Vic and Rob. What had Vic meant, exactly? Sarah noticed, and asked: “What’s on your mind?”

“Oh, um... It’s about my friend Vic.”

“The guy who came over to talk to you last week?” Morgan asked.

“Yeah, him. I think — I overheard him talking with our friend Lionel yesterday. I didn’t hear much, but I think he’s attracted to me. And probably jealous of Rob.”

“That could be hard. You’ve been friends with Vic for a long time, right?” Sarah asked.

“Since elementary school. I don’t want to do anything to mess up our friendship — but I don’t know what would be worse, to keep going out with Rob, or go out with Vic once or twice and find out we don’t click romantically.”

“What did you hear him say?” Olive asked, but Sarah glared at her.

“We don’t need to know that,” she said. “Just think about what he said and think about what else it might mean; are you sure you’re not misinterpreting it? If you’re sure he’s into you... well, do you like him or Rob better?”

“Rob’s a lot better looking. And he’s affectionate without being grabby, and attentive and considerate... But I have a lot more in common with Vic, there’s more stuff we can talk about. And he’s not much to look at, but he’s dependable — I know I can trust him. Not that I distrust Rob, but I don’t know him that well yet.”

Morgan chewed her lip, and said: “It sounds to me like you’d better go slow with this. For now you’re probably better off with Rob. If Vic’s as dependable as you say, he’s not going to let jealousy get the better of him, and you’ll still be friends with Vic whether the thing with Rob works out or not. And if it doesn’t, you can see how things develop with Vic... but you should probably take it slow, make sure you’re both serious about it before you really start dating, much less getting intimate.”

“I expect she’s right,” Sarah said. “What do you think, Olive? You know Rob better than any of us.”

“Yeah, and I think you already know about his flaws, Emily. If you’re still okay with him after he bent our ears about the history of that movie all during dinner Friday, there’s no reason you shouldn’t keep going out with him — if you didn’t have something better lined up. Sounds like Vic would be better for you if you could get that to work, though.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll think about it.”

When I went to my desk and sat down just before Mandarin, I saw Rob already at his desk. I smiled at him, but didn’t try to talk to him before class. I figured he’d probably talk to me again after class, and I had until then to figure out if I wanted to go out with him again Friday or break it off now, just in the hopes that something would develop with Vic. But once Mr. Bao started talking, I focused on the lesson and almost forgot about Vic and Rob — except when Mr. Bao called on Rob to answer a question — until class was over.

As I expected, Rob came over right afterward. “Hi, Emily. I need to ask you something...”

“Sure,” I said. “Let’s walk.” I headed toward the door and down the hall to Literature. He followed me, and was silent for a few seconds, maybe figuring out how to ask what he wanted to ask.

“George Sims told me he saw you going out with another guy at Delhi Deli on Saturday afternoon. I wasn’t sure if I should believe him, and I figure he’s probably mistaken if he’s not lying... Did he really see you? What was really happening?”

“Oh,” I said. “Yeah, I had lunch with Vic Saturday. But it wasn’t a date.”

“Yeah, I thought it was something like that. You still hang with Vic and Lionel, I know, I saw you having lunch with them Monday.”

“Yeah, only Lionel had to do a lot of yard work in the morning and he was too tired to go out for lunch Saturday, so it was just me and Vic.”

Rob frowned. “I know you didn’t mean it as a date, but people will see you and talk. I don’t mind you seeing your old friends, but I’d rather you didn’t go anywhere with just one of them.”

I was shocked, but then I remembered what Olive had said about Rob telling her what to do... And what Dad had said, for that matter, about not being alone with Lionel. Vic and I hadn’t been alone, we’d been out in public, but apparently that was even worse. I bit back my instinctive response, and counted to ten before saying:

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I want to. Look, don’t worry about last Saturday — just think about it next time. — Did you have a chance to ask your parents about Friday? Does it suit for me to come over with some documentaries and watch one, or maybe two short ones, after dinner?”

“Um, no, things have been kind of busy. I’ll ask them tonight.” I decided I should go out with him at least one more time. And by the time he asked me out a third time — if he did — maybe I’d know more about what Vic felt about me.

We chatted a little more after P.E. He named a few documentaries, and asked if I’d heard of them or had a preference between them.

“The one about twentieth-century art cars sounds fun,” I said. “Or the one about the founding of Spiral. Let’s see if it suits.”

After school, I worked on my Modern History term paper until Mom and Dad got home — I was almost finished with the first draft. Mom knocked on my door; when I opened it, she gave me a small bottle of pills and a tight smile.

“Take the first dose with supper,” she said. “The pharmacy messaged me a list of possible side effects and so forth, and I forwarded it to you. The other medicine hasn’t been approved yet; the pharmacist isn’t sure how long that will take.”

“Thanks.”

I looked up the drugs Dr. Park had prescribed. This one was well over a hundred years old, and used in various doses by women with heart conditions as well as by transsexuals. The other, the one the Medical Bureau hadn’t approved me to use, was much newer, developed just before they started fixing transsexuals prenatally, and more specialized to stop male puberty from proceeding without any side-effects. I wondered if anybody in the country needed it besides me, and how hard it might be to get it if it had to be specially synthesized in small batches.

During supper I told Mom and Dad about Rob’s idea.

“You propose to have dinner together, and then return here to watch a film? That is acceptable, I think. We will largely leave you alone during the film, I suppose; we will be just upstairs if you should need us.”

“And we’ll look into the living room a couple of times to check on you,” Mom added. “But not very often.”

“Sure. Thanks,” I said. I didn’t tell them what I’d heard Vic and Lionel saying, or that this might be my last date with Rob.

Mom said to Mildred: “I talked to Ms. Antonelli this afternoon...”

“Who?” I asked.

“Bobby’s mom,” Mildred said. “What did she say?”

“She said they’d like to meet us for an early lunch Saturday. It’ll be on our way to Stone Mountain for Emily’s appointment.”

“Yay!”

Before and after the prayer meeting that night, I wasn’t bothered as much by questions as the last couple of Sundays — everyone who came to church on Wednesdays already knew about me by then. I got uncomfortable during Mr. Richie’s prayer, when he was asking for wisdom to spot unobvious temptations and strength to resist them — I wondered if he was talking to me more than to God.

Later, I checked the gender-Twist forum, and saw several replies to my introductory post, and to Rachel396's post about her compulsions. There was also a private message for me; I clicked that one first:

From: Medea
Date: Tuesday 17 November 21—
Subject: Morgan?

I think I might be the one you’re looking for — my name was Jason before my Twist, and I had a cousin on my dad’s side named Morgan that I haven’t seen since my parents divorced. Tell me a little more about Morgan, or tell her more about me, and if we’re the people we’re looking for, put us in touch with each other, okay?

She told me her parents' names and what year she was born, and hazarded a guess that Morgan was around eight or nine when she saw her last. It all checked out. I copied and forwarded her message to Morgan; then I realized she wouldn’t be able to contact Medea directly, since I didn’t have her net address, only her forum handle. I appended a note asking Morgan if I could give Medea her net address, and sent it.

Medea also had something else say:

I’m sorry to hear about your Twist. My mental changes had me comfortable in my new body within a few hours; I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to get those mental changes while my body stayed the same. It sounds like you have good doctors, though, and I hope they will be able to help you. And good friends — Morgan was a sweet kid, if she’s the Morgan I know, and I’m sure she’s grown up to be a dependable friend.

Several others had replied publicly to my introductory post, including:

From: RainbowHead
Date: Sunday 15 November 21—
Subject: Re: Transsexual throwback

So you’re still physically a boy? That sounds pretty annoying. But I guess it’s nice not to have periods, until they get you fixed up. And then, since you’re into boys now, it will be easier to have babies than it was for me and my partner. We had to go to I don’t know how many doctors to harvest eggs and smoosh them together and stuff.

From: PinkPower
Date: Sunday 15 November 21—
Subject: Re: Transsexual throwback

Emily219, I apologize for RainbowHead’s last message. She knows she’s not supposed to write forum posts when she’s blonde. Are the doctors going to be able to give you a cloned womb and ovaries? I hope so, but if you’re sterile after the operations like the transsexuals we read about in history, it won’t be the end of the world. My partner and I looked into adopting before we decided to go with egg-fusion. And if you donate sperm before you get rid of your unwanted equipment, you and your partner could do the equivalent procedure with fusing two sperm — it’s more expensive, but not hugely so.

From: PatchworkGirl
Date: Monday 16 November 21—
Subject: Re: Transsexual throwback

Hi, Emily. I don’t have anything to add to what I said at supper the other night, except welcome to the forum. The people here are pretty nice, always sympathetic even when we can’t always be helpful. Be open with your close friends, people you’ve known for a long time and know you can trust, but be careful what you tell strangers — my co-workers know I’m Twisted, of course, I can’t easily hide that, but only a few close friends know I used to be a boy.

Tell your uncle I said hi.

From: RainbowHead
Date: Monday 16 November 21—
Subject: Re: Transsexual throwback

I’m sorry for my last message. My compulsions get the better of me sometimes, and I say things without thinking them through.

This will be hard, poor dear! But I’m sure everything will work out. Do just as your doctors tell you. And ask them about how you should wear your underclothing — if it’s too tight I’m afraid it might cut off the circulation and cause harm. I know you don’t want that thing anymore, dear, but if it mortifies because your panties are too tight, the doctors won’t be able to re-use it to make something better.

From: Rachel396
Date: Tuesday 17 November 21—
Subject: Re: Transsexual throwback

It sounds like we might not live too far apart, if you’re going to the Emory Twist clinic. You hate being a boy, and I hate being a girl, so we might have some things to talk about. Let me know.

I replied privately to Rachel396, and publicly thanked some of the others who’d given me advice, however silly or trite some of it seemed. It was getting late, and I went to bed after posting that.



I hope everyone enjoys the cameo appearances of Leila and Jen from Morpheus' "Twisted Pink" and "Hair and Now". Here are some excerpts from my correspondence with Morpheus about it:


TS:

Would you mind if I give Leila from "Twisted Pink" or Jen from "Hair and Now" a brief cameo appearance in my story? I have a couple of possibilities in mind:

1. Uncle Jack takes Emily to the Twisted hair salon in Little Five Points (which used to be the hippie neighborhood in Atlanta, and is still kind of alternative, and which I envision being a Twisted neighborhood in Emily's time), and somewhere -- on the street or in a restaurant or shop -- they run into Leila or Jen (or both?), whom Uncle Jack knows and introduces to Emily.

2. Emily signs up for a net forum or message board for Twisted with gender-related Twists, and interacts with some older Twisted possibly including Jen, Leila, and Morgan's cousin Jason/Medea.

M:

I think your second choice of running into them on a message board would be a little more likely and wouldn't pin them down to living in a specific place outside of Spiral at that time.

TS:

I was thinking they'd be in Atlanta on a business trip, and going to Little Five Points to see the local Twisted scene after dealing with their clients or the local representatives of the company they work for or whatever. But the message board would be less of a coincidence.



Each of the ebook editions of my novels has a detailed list of characters, which contain little Easter eggs of backstory and sequel.

Wine Can't be Pressed into Grapes Smashwords Amazon
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Comments

Still a wonderful story and

Still a wonderful story and you definitely keeping it well within Morpheus's "Universe" Thank you for it. Janice Lynn

nice to see some old friends

I'd love to see how the kids from the twisted stories turned out ...

DogSig.png

Jen was always to read about.

Jen was always to read about.

Robs domineering ways seem to be appearing, I hope takes eventual rejection well.

Well,

Well, the girl who used to go out with him didn't mention him not taking breaking up well, and with everything else she said about his issues, you'd've expected it if it was a problem. I expect he'll be a perfect "gentleman" in every way. Unfortunately, "gentlemen" attitudes include some very backwards attitudes that essentially place women as little more than owned objects... However, he does know he doesn't actually "own" her until and unless she takes vows... He'll still display the characteristics that would become even worse if she did marry him in courtship, but the rejection is also part of courtship.

Abigail Drew.

Calling Nat!

Somehow it never occurred to me until Chapter 18 to wonder if any Twisted has a trick like Nat's. Nat would be really useful about now.

-- Jess Arita

Transformative trick

Morpheus suggested something like that, when I was sending him the first draft in progress. It's not impossible that she'd meet someone like that eventually, but it seemed like too cheap and easy a resolution to end this novel that way, a sort of deus ex machina. (Morpheus's suggestion obviously means that such tricks are not impossible in his universe, but I don't think we've seen any trick that affects other people's bodies that's anywhere near as powerful. The closest things I can think of are Leila's using her trick to turn people's hair and skin pink -- probably only affecting the surface, dead skin cells and hair -- and Jeri's mom using her trick to make people's hair grow fast. Several people are shown with tricks that have tempoary effects on others' brains or nervous systems, but nothing permanent IIRC. So I'm inferring that tricks like Nat Holcomb's superpower are extremely rare.)

Actually,

Actually, having just read Twisted Pink rather recently I can assure you that it was outright said at various times that if she changes a person's skin pink, it's permanent. Only hair will eventually get replaced with the original natural hair color as it grew out. Though I suspect later on when she developed better control she could change the hair follicles to produce only pink hair, since she could do that to skin pigment. We do lose and replace our skin pigment as well, after all.

Abigail Drew.

Yay!

Finally, a reference to cloned female organs! So the tech DOES exist in your take on this universe. I do hope it gets used for Emily!

Abigail Drew.