Hopscotch… A Jump in Life 11

*Before…

“Yeah it’s pretty much all gone and I’ve found myself here in this journal and with all of you…and even with my memory gone…guess what? I’m still trans. So I guess I’m still Sarah. And I’m like out to my folks.”

“I sort of had a major PTSD freak out inside the Scanner-coffin thing and I…Sarah came out during my panic attack. Thankfully my folks seem to be cool about it. The whole thing though is really scary and really messed up. I think so for all of us.”

“Well that’s about it for now, I really can’t think of much else to say or cover right now.”

I read it twice and then I hit post and I sit back and switch over to my You Tube to watch some videos and as I’m doing so I’m getting pings to my g-mail with replies to my post.

I’m really nervous as I click it over and start to read them.

*And Now…

Thunder Muffin… is the first reply and she’s from Los Angeles and she seems nice, she’s black too it’s in her bio which I think makes her kind of my first black friend. Okay I’m not sure about that but it’s just a feeling I have about like here and things it’s not like I’ve seen that many black folks here at the hospital since I’ve woken up just white folks and some Middle Eastern looking people and some East-Indian looking people and some Asian’s and not that many of them in the staff or even in the patient areas that I’ve been to.

She’s really excited to hear that I’m more or less okay and that I’m out and that my parents seem to be cool with it and all. She likes guys so it was she sort of thought and ended up getting outed as gay before she figured herself out but the end result was the same and she was kicked out of her house by her folks and now she’s living in a Share-House?

And she’s working in a food truck.

Which really sucks as she’s telling me about all this stuff I’ve never had and right now can’t but it sounds so good.

Like Hoisin pulled pork tacos with sesame seeds and those like crispy chow mein fried noodles.

(Groan.)

Like onion pancakes with molasses begogi beef and shredded lettuce.

(Double groan.)

Then my stomach rumbles and makes this pathetic sound and Dad looks at me cracking an eye. “Hungry?”

“Starving, one of my friends is talking about the food she makes on her food truck.”

“You want me to get you something?”

“Could you?”

“I’ll go ask.”

He moves mom who sort of mumbles and wakes up and she looks at him and then me and tries to get up and she’s amazingly and endearingly clumsy as she’s waking up and all. She kisses me on the forehead. “I’m going to go with your dad and get some air and stuff you going to be okay?”

“Yeah I’m just catching up with my friends online.”

“Okay we’ll be back.” She hugs me and she gives me a kiss and she heads out with dad and I kind of get back to the screen.

Pyro kitty’s on and so is Fennicfox and Satori-Nova and they’re all posting and talking and stuff with me and it’s suddenly a whole lot less…lonely.

They’re like me; they’re trans girls like me. Well not all like me but sort of like me? Fenn’s not out and she’s really kind of hurting about it and everything else. She’s in Texas and from the stuff that she’s posted (I’m looking at those in another tab.) and the stuff that she’s saying I’m getting this whole picture of a pretty bleak lifescape with right winger rednecks there all around her including her family who seem pretty anti-LGBTQAI+.

You know people that are like you but they live in those places that you can’t really get? Like where racism is around like all like with that whole bad southern stuff like you see on TV but it’s not for Fenn it’s like real and worse is she’s Mexican descended so she gets all of that stuff too.

3rd Generation and she’s told all the time to stop stealing jobs and to go back to where she came from.

I wanna go and rescue her. I want her to have a safe place, I want to give her hugs and make things suck less.

PK’s funny as hell and apparently she’s from the south too and she’s offering her couch to Fenn who says she can’t go. But PK’s in New Orleans and she actually moved there after the flood and everything. I get a kick how she says things and she says “Son” a lot but not like misgendering but in like this regional thing.

Satori calls her Foghorn?

Okay I don’t get the whole “I say, I say…” joke it’s something that I forgot or it’s like regional or something. But it really doesn’t matter since it’s still just really cool to have this. Have something that’s me and every time that I see my name, that I see Sarah on the screen it’s awesome.

Fenn leaves first because she has to like watch how much time she spend online because she can’t really afford it since her parents are making her pay for her own internet and stuff. PK’s on for a while after that and she’s leaves heading off to her job waitressing?

“Wait what?”

“I have to go to work.”

“You got a job?”

“Kinda had to I’m on my own.”

“What? Why?”

“My parents tossed me when I came out and stuff so I’m paying my own way.”

“What about school?”

“I’m going for my GED when I can.”

“Shit sorry hun.”

“No problem Chere, I’m good.”

“Hey I’m trans not a drag queen enough with the Cher stuff.”

She does a whole line of LOL’s and leaves with a TTFN and then it’s me and Satori who types. “I feel like totally spoiled.”

“Really?”

“Yeah my folks are like yours, and I don’t have to live and do stuff like Fennec and Pyro.”

“Yeah my folks have been really Top Shelf about the whole thing it’s kind of freaky really.”

“Sarah you nearly died, having you be okay is a lot bigger thing than being trans.”

“Or it should be, I hate that PK is down there on her own.”

“Don’t be she’s a tough cookie I think, it’s Fenn that I’m worried about.”

I’m nodding even though she can’t see me so I type. *Nods.* “I think her folks will take it bad if she comes out.”

*Nods* “yeah I hear so much terrible shit out of Texas online and stuff it sort of freaks me out and especially the whole like racial thing.”

I think for a minute. “So where are you?”

“School, first lunch and now gym but I have a not until the school figures out exactly on how they want to deal with me and the whole bathroom and changing room thing.”

“Oh…that’s got to suck.”

“Meh Small town Ontario whatchagonnado?”

I grin and type. “I wanna rock!”

I burst out giggling as she types. *Flexes like Hulk Hogan and rips off blouse and bra.*

I snort because I have this image in my head. “Unfair.”

“Hey he wore a feather boa.”

I type *Snerk* “Laughing oh…can’t breathe.”

“Hit your call button….you have oxygen in there right?”

“Eeeew…” *Gags*

“Gags? You’ll get a buzz.”

“I was intubated.”

“Sounds dirty.”

“And……there goes me having oral sex ever in my life with a guy.”

“So you know?”

“I…oh holy shit do you think? It was like one of the things that I was like wondering.”

*Shrugs* “Maybe it could be a subconscious nod towards your sexuality or we’re like just reading way too much into it.

“I have like no idea.”

I see my parents coming and thet have what looks like bags from someplace that might resemble food and such and I see them talking to the nurses and a guy in a lab coat and stuff.

“Folks are here they have food.”

“Food is of the good, I love food.”

“Okay cool class is getting close to over and stuff so I have that but do you want me to come over/”

“Come over?”

“Yeah like on the weekend I mean you can ask your folks and I can bunk there and come in a visit you and we can like hang out and chill out, do like make-overs and stuff.”

“How?”

“I have a car and my license I’ll drive over.”

“I’ll ask, of that’d be so cool.”

“KK laters Sare-bear.”

Sare-bear….wow that just feels.

“Later’s and Satori?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thanks for today, it really helped and the offer it’s amazing.”

“Hai-hai.”

I smile as she logs off chat and I’m just staring at her page and then smiling as Mom and Dad come in and whatever they have smells amazing.

I’m drooling as he passes me a thing of heat up yourself ramen noodles and with it a Chinese take-out bowl filled with Hot and Sour soup.

And some stuff for me to do.

Right now happiness is Hot and Sour soup and crayons and a coloring book.