It was a cultural tradition. A rite of passage and self-discovery. I doubt the elders who began the tradition ever imagined this.

Chapter 1

My name was Levi Miller. I was born and raised in a small Mennonite farming community in the Ohio River Valley. You may have seen me. Maybe on the back of a milk carton. Or maybe on the cover of your favorite magazine's swimsuit issue. I currently go by Alexandra Crowe. My journey from my roots to my present was unexpected. Yet in hindsight it seems inevitable.

Let's start from the beginning. Among my people we have a ritual – a rite of passage actually, called Rumspringa. It is in effect, the sewing of wild oats... where adolescents transition from the innocent curiosity of childhood into the wisdom and responsibility of adulthood. We leave our tight knit and somewhat insulated community and make our way in the secular world, taking nothing of our culture except what we carry in our hearts. It is a test. To make our way amid all the pitfalls and temptations of the secular world, and to return to the community... tempered by adversity, having seen the allure of the secular world as a seductive mirage. Ready to settle down and become the next generation of our community, no longer distracted by the siren call of the outside world. Like all tests, the outcome is not forgone. Most return, wiser and with a renewed appreciation for the community they always took for granted. Others succumb to the ways of the secular world. And some of us discover that not only is the outside world not what we expected... but we never even knew ourselves. This is a story of revelation and self discovery... and an adventure I never could have imagined.

The six of us set out together. Usually teens venture into Rumspringa in a group. It's believed to help us ground each other and keep one individual's bad decision from having catastrophic or irretrievable results. The peer pressure of a co-ed group is thought to prevent any girls-gone-wild or frat-boy type reckless excesses. At least that's the idea. I've been told in secret by others that what happens on Rumspringa stays in the outside world, and that by the time it is over, everyone in the group has so much dirt on everyone else, all agree to never speak of it again. Even those who don't return are not discussed by others in their group. It is simply known that they did not return. None of their peers is even asked, and would never dream of spilling sordid details. I do sometimes wonder how my group manages to keep my fate a secret. I wonder if Temperance or Felicity see me smiling out at them from a magazine cover and smile quietly to themselves. If not for their sense of mischief and adventure, I would probably have returned with them to live out my life as that vaguely sad little farm boy everyone remembers.

For the first hundred miles or so of our bus journey, none of us really talked. I had nothing left to say to Jakob and Seth that we hadn't argued about in all the years we grew up together. The girls kept looking over at us and giggling. They were alien creatures to us. We lived separate lives. The boys working in the fields and barns, the girls in the homes and dairy. We were kept apart by convention, then tossed all together at Rumspringa and expected to learn the ways of the world and ideally return with our mate for life. I don't know if the girls were as lost as we were. They seemed shy but excited. I got the definite impression that they were talking about us among other things. I kept seeing their furtive glances in our direction. We all wanted to break the ice, but had no idea how. Rather than do something clumsy and stupid, we did nothing. Finally, they glanced at each other, removed their kerchiefs and walked over to us. “You know everyone on the bus is staring at you.”

“What?” Suddenly Jakob, Seth and I were very self conscious. “Why? We're not the ones giggling loudly!”

“No...” Felicity chirped up. “But look around.... you're so out of place. Your clothes, your hats, and those haircuts. You are not from their world and everyone knows it.”

“Neither are you. Just uncovering your hair doesn't make you fit in any better.”

“That is why we're going to do something about it. We're getting off at the next stop. It's close to a mall. If we're going to walk among them in their world, I think we all need a makeover!” Temperance and Chastity nodded vigorously. Seth and Jakob exchanged glances.

“That's really a good idea” Seth conceded. “OK. Next stop we ditch the bus and hit the mall”. At 17, he wasn't the oldest, but even though Jakob was a few months older, we all tacitly thought of Seth as the leader.

“But what about our bus tickets?” I opined.

“We'll try to cash them in. If we can't, we'll just figure out what to do after we shop.”

“How much money do you have?” I could tell I was beginning to annoy the others. As the youngest by many years, I was used to it.

“Enough.” Jakob snapped. “At worst, we buy another ticket the rest of the way to Chicago.”

“Chicago? I thought we were going to California?” We were only a few hours from home and I was already feeling totally lost.

Seth sighed as if talking to a slow child. “Yes. California eventually. Chicago is the first leg. We explore the windy city and decide where to go next.... with California as the eventual destination.”

“But my ticket is for California. I spent most of my money on it.”

Temperance rolled her eyes. “Did you just roll out the eggchute? Just plan the next move. Plans change. We talked about this!”

“Nobody talked to ME about this!”

Seth and Jakob glanced at each other. “I thought you talked to him.” They said in unison. Then they both looked at me and shrugged.

Temperance let out an exasperated sigh. “You should have stayed on the farm. ….Alright. How much do you have left after your extravagant bus ticket?”

I reached into my bag and pulled out all the money I had saved.

“That's IT?” Seth glared. “Haven't you been saving?”

“About 3 years less than you have” Felicity wisely pointed out.

“I guess you're not buying anything at the mall.” Jakob smirked.

“That's ok.” Felicity volunteered. “He can come with us. While you boys go get all studly, we'll take him along as a sounding board for what will turn a young man's head.”

“He wouldn't know 'hot' if he were standing in a brushfire” Jakob laughed. “Good. You let 'little brother' tag along to the dress shops while Seth and I get fashionable and ply our charms on the local ladies”

The girls all began giggling derisively.

Chapter 2

I really did feel like a little brother being dragged along by good natured sisters. I sensed no resentment, but I kept getting the feeling that they were forgetting I was there. I definitely was not one of the group. Then again, I didn't expect to be.

The girls ditched their traditional gray dresses as soon as possible. The first stop was a GAP and they all changed into jeans and colorful tops. I had seen plenty of girls in pants when we'd go into town for supplies, so it was less startling for me to see them as it was for them to actually wear pants. I was amused that they were so excited to be dressed the way I'd dressed all of my life. I said nothing to them about this but couldn't help but notice that the 4 of us were now dressed very much alike.

When they passed the window at a store called “Wet Seal” they were transfixed. They eagerly scampered in and started tearing through the racks, trying on outfit after outfit, and huddling with each other after every outfit was modeled for each other. Finally, Temperance – perhaps noticing that I had been quietly tagging along – diplomatically asked my opinion. I muttered something about how they seemed so excited at the novelty of wearing silly old pants and were now eager to get back into dresses... even if these outfits had nothing in common with the dresses they were so tired of from their old lives. Felicity was saying something about the excitement of breaking old taboos and experiencing something new when a salesgirl came over and complimented everyone on their choices, finally turning to me and pouting. “What about you, dear? Don't you see anything you like? Not that your old baggy jeans aren't …sensible”. I turned beet red at her error and was about to explain her mistake when Felicity butted in. “Lee's just really shy and has no clue how pretty she really is.” Grinning at her friends she grabbed something off the rack and thrust it at me. “As you were scolding us just a moment ago, it's time to break taboos and try something new. Isn't that what our trip is all about?” I started to protest, but the three of them ganged up on me and I backed down, since my private embarrassment at being the butt of their little joke seemed less awkward than causing a scene in the store.

It was a lot tighter and smaller than I expected. By the time I got the dress on, it looked as if it had been painted on my body. The bulge was a bit disconcerting, but I quickly discovered that I could pop the bits up inside and fold the main bit back between my legs. I stood at the door to the dressing room, afraid to turn the knob, while the girls taunted me from outside. “Hurry up! What's taking so long? It's just a dress for goodness sake. What part of putting your head and arms through the holes can't you manage? Why aren't you dressed yet?”

“I'm dressed.” I muttered quietly hoping no one could hear me, while I hesitated at the doorknob.

The knob flew out of my hand as Felicity whipped the door open from the outside. I closed my eyes with dread. As if by not being able to see them, they couldn't see me. I waited for the howls of derisive laughter. But after an excruciating silence, which was probably only seconds although it felt like minutes. I slowly cracked one eyelid.

I was met by 3 gaping stares and a smiling salesclerk.

“Oh honey. You HAVE to get this. It was MADE for you!” the clerk gushed.

“I... uh. I don't think...” I struggled for some response to this unexpected reaction.

“Oh my God.” Temperance whispered, apparently to herself.

“Thanks so much for your help. Can we have a few minutes to talk?” Felicity said to the clerk, who backed off. Chastity just stared, wide-eyed.

“Wow. I certainly wasn't expecting ….THIS!” Felicity mused as she looked me up and down.

“Is this how you felt the first time you wore pants?” I peeped.

“I seriously doubt it.” Temperance said. “No one stopped in their tracks when they saw me in jeans. Just look around the store. If looks could kill, this would be a crime scene.”

“I knew this was a bad idea. I never should have agreed....”

“It's not scorn or disapproval, stupid. It's envy.” Felicity whispered. “Girls. I have an idea. You, wait here” I made my way back toward the dressing room when Felicity barked at me “NO! Stay. ...Sit.” I sheepishly sat on the tiny bench, knees clenched together and hands folded in my lap as if I could hide how short the dress was.

After a moment they returned, all serious and stared down at me. Having three sets of eyes bore into you, it's difficult to know who to raise your eyes to.

“Change of plan.” Temperance said. “We're still going shopping and the mission is still total makeover, but you're no longer an observer.”

“I'm out?”

Felicity laughed. “I'd say you couldn't be more out!” Temperance elbowed her in the rib.

“No. You're not out of the group. You're not out of the makeover mission. In fact, you're the new focus.”

Chastity spoke up. “Don't blame me. I was outvoted. I'm sorry”

“I don't have any money. I can't afford new things. Anyway, I thought you only wanted to visit hot dress shops?”

“She still doesn't get it” Temperance said to Felicity.

“Who?” I asked, looking toward Chastity, who just looked at her feet and shuffled nervously.

“You!” Felicity beamed “This is ...amazing! I never noticed when you were just the scrawny farmboy at school, but you have a fantastic body. ….for a girl.”

“But...”

“OK. It's settled. We'll all chip in, and Levi …..Lee.... is our new makeover project. Right?”

Chastity sighed. “I'm really sorry, Lee... I mean Levi. I was outvoted.”

Felicity was positively GLEEFUL. “Alright. We'll tell the guys that Levi got bored and we gave him money for a movie or something.... and while we were shopping, we met this really cool girl, and she joined us on our shopping spree.”

What was I getting myself into? I felt just like Chastity. Outvoted. It never occurred to me at the time, that if she and I both spoke up, it would have been a stalemate. Things quickly got out of hand. They bought my dress and went a little crazy with accessories, like thong underwear since the dress was so sheer and tight that anything else would show through. The clerk commented on my 'supermodel physique' which I quickly learned meant nearly flat chested (nearly?). She suggested – and the other girls enthusiastically agreed, that a push-up bra and 'chicken cutlets' - silicone wedges to prop up the real boobs, would really compliment the dress. Opaque thigh highs and some precariously tall heels finished up the ensemble. They must have noticed I was shivering like a chihuahua in the skimpy dress, because they bought me a bolero jacket to go with it. They then dragged me to this place called “The Cuttery” to do something with my shaggy hair. Dad had been too busy to do it, and after the last disaster, I reckoned it was better to let it grow and tuck it down my collar than to try cutting it myself again. I could hide it down my collar, but once I had that skimpy dress on, everyone saw just how far down my back it had grown. Temperance and Felicity huddled with the stylist, who took all instructions from the three girls who were paying him. They just kept thumbing through a photobook and giggling at me mischievously. I was so overwhelmed at this point that I just sat back and closed my eyes, sitting through the shampoo and cut, foil and highlighting, styling and drying.... waiting for it to be over. Before I even got a chance to get a look at myself in the mirror, they yanked me away to the MAC store, where again, I was merely the subject of their instructions to the makeup stylist. The only time I opened my eyes was when she was applying eyeliner. The rest of the time I closed my eyes trying to stay calm and hoping I would wake up. I don't recall ever sensing smells in dreams, so I was reminded that this was real when I was hit with a blast of flowery perfume, which they then tucked into the handbag they bought me, and we were off to Accessorease... a store which seemed to sell mostly trendy jewelry and baubles. I thought I was done when my arms were draped in bracelets, I had rings on various fingers and a choker necklace that everyone agreed, looked like it was made for the dress. My three tormentors huddled again. I could see Chastity shaking her head vigorously, so I knew something was being planned. But as before, my one defender was outvoted.

Temperance put her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye with a very earnest expression. “Do you trust us?”

“Why would you ask me this. Especially after... all this?”

Felicity snorted “Of course she trusts us. ….Look what she's let us do to her.”

“I wish you'd stop calling me h....”

“OK, Then. Let's do this.” Temperance clapped her hands together decisively.

“Don't worry, Lee …..viiii...” Chastity said apologetically. “We're all doing it. And it's not as if it's permanent. …..Or ….has to be.”

“But you first” Felicity grinned.

They brought me over to a chair by the earring tree. They showed me a bunch of earrings, and discussed which best complimented my bone structure, the way the hair framed my face and the rest of my ensemble. After a talk with the salesgirl, the earrings were purchased for later and a pair of simple diamond studs was chosen. They seemed understated, which I found secretly to be a relief. I didn't know what a starter stud was. I soon found out.

It was all so fast, I didn't realize what had happened for a moment. It was sudden and unexpected as the clerk wielded the punch like a gunslinger. That's a good description since it was like a tiny tiny nailgun driving through my earlobe. I was distracted by the pain, which was brief, like a bug bite. Before I knew it I had two sparkly diamond studs in my freshly pierced ears. Temperance and Felicity, seeing how well I seemed to take it, quickly followed suit. The three of us frowned as Chastity chickened out and grabbed a pair of clip-ons. I almost quipped “What? No Tattoos?” but these girls were out of control and I really believe I would have ended up with a tramp stamp.

Our little adventure had taken most of the afternoon and we were all laden down with shopping bags. I felt like a charity case, as I had no disposable income of my own, and everything had been lavished on my by my three benefactors. Then I took a moment to think of everything they bought me, and realized ….none of this was for me. They were amusing themselves, and I was just the canvas on which they were happily painting. They promised we'd find the boys and get food after one last stop. That was when I learned what a mani-pedi was. And that varnish wasn't just for floors.

The girls had gone all out and were dressed to the nines. No one would have recognized the plain girls who looked like they wandered away from a Colonial Williamsburg exhibit as the three vixens turning heads as they walked through the mall. No. It wasn't a walk. I know because they coached me here too. I thought they were just teaching me to walk in the 5” heels, but with the pointers on posture and deportment, they were teaching me how to stride … with grace, confidence and a seemingly effortless aura of authority. When I mentioned this to Felicity, she smiled wickedly and said, “Yeah. They won't soon forget the foxy foursome.” She then stopped us in front of a tinted window and we stared at our reflection. I realized she was talking about the four of us. I couldn't recognize any of the drop-dead gorgeous visions starting back at us. We certainly did not look like a Felicity, or Temperance and certainly not Chastity. The fourth reflection I simply couldn't process. Rumspringa is a test. What is the question if this is the response? I was speechless. All I could muster, almost under my breath was “....Jesus!”

We all stared at ourselves a little too long, and the discomfort snapped us out of it. I suspect that for the others as well, it wasn't as much vanity as surprise and disbelief at the reflections staring back. We were all quiet for a moment. Felicity was the first to gather her wits. “Um.... food court?” We all quickly agreed. I suspect it was less about hunger than distraction for the torrent of conflicting emotions racing through our heads.

Chapter 3
When we got to the food court, I got a miso soup and a seaweed salad, because they seemed light and the dress was so tight I feared it would show every morsel of food going down. The other girls got more familiar food. Felicity got teriyaki chicken because it smelled good, and at least she knew what chicken was. Temperance got a cobb salad and a smoothie, and Chastity found a stand selling pot pies and had a side of mac&cheese and a big glass of milk. I think she really needed comfort food after what she was a part of that afternoon. We then noticed the boys sauntering around the food court, coolly checking everything out like they owned it and were checking on their investment. They were dressed like foreign gangsters or rappers as imagined by someone who had never seen an actual rapper. They had shiny track suits, an alarming amount of gaudy jewelry, and some intimidating footwear that looked like sneakers gone terribly wrong. They had been to a hair salon too. Their home-cut hair was replaced by something so shiny, hard and ...big... that I first thought it was some sort of plastic hat. Chastity gave them a big smile and Jakob nodded back. He nudged Seth and they strutted over like a couple of roosters. As they approached, one more touch became apparent. I first wondered if it was the lighting, but by the time they got within about 30 feet of us, it was obviously not the lighting. They had a definite orange sheen to their skin. I had never heard of spray tans, but clearly they had.

“Hell-Lo” Felicity said loudly and slowly as if speaking to a dim child ….or a foreigner... “Speak... English???” she gestured to her mouth. Temperance, Chastity and I suppressed our giggles. It was clear that they didn't recognize us and thought strangers in the food court were fawning over their studliness.

“Why of course ladies.” Seth purred. I think he was going for 'worldly' accent, but it just made him sound more foreign. “I speak like my native tongue”

“Oh?” Temperance chimed in. “Where are you from?” she guilelessly inquired, biting her lip the whole time.

“....ummmm.... somewhere else. Somewhere far from here. So far away you have never heard of. Anyway, we are here now. ….Chatting with American lovelies.....” he began coughing nervously when Jakob tag-teamed in.

“And you are?” They definitely weren't joking around. They didn't recognize us at all. We only all grew up together.

“Monique!” Temperance blurted out. “Genvieve” Felicity chimed in. We looked at Chastity who stared like a deer in headlights. I guess it was my turn. Oh, well, after everything else I'd done today, why not. “I'm Astrid!” I cheerfully chirped in what I hoped was a feminine enough lilt. Felicity & Temperance looked at each other and just managed not to burst out laughing.... which the guys completely didn't notice. “And our friend here....” Temperance volunteered waving toward Chastity “...is..”

“Chhhhhhhhhhhh” Chastity interrupted “...Chhhhhhhhh...armed to make your acquaintance.... I'm..... Mary”

“Actually, Marie.” Felicity cut in. “Marie Claire. We are down from Canada. She thinks Mary sounds more American. She wants to fit in.”

“Ah yes. Is good to fit.” Jakob agreed. “....Like regular American. ….When in ….um... America.....” This was getting painful.

“Exactly!” I cut him off. “Everyone is from somewhere else. America truly is a melting pot.” I smiled as sweetly as I could muster.

“So, what brings you lads to USA?” Temperance, it seems, was not through torturing them.

“Um.... we are here on... actually... big...big....”

“...Holiday!” Seth tagged in. I just rolled my eyes and tried not to witness what was happening. “...Is really big holiday in our country. Everyone goes away....somewhere else. We come to USA. Hot dogs. Baseball.... American Idol.... USA. We love so much”

I couldn't bear to witness any more. I wanted to sneak away but I couldn't.

“And hot American babes” Jakob growled in what I'm sure he thought was a sexy voice as he leaned in toward me. I winced.

“We're not American.” Temperance hijacked his attention. “We said we're from Canada. That's another whole country.... though some people seem to think it's just a part of America.”

“By the way” Chastity found her voice. “We never got your names.”

“Oh. Yes.... I mean no.... you didn't” Seth stammered. “I am Ssssss” Chastity was loving this payback. “....sssssven..... and this is my bro...no, what is word.... cousin...in...law.... Jjjjjjjj” Jakob squimed terrified but helpless. “....jjjjjens!” Seth beamed, pleased that he had finally managed to form a word.

“Sven and Jens?” I smirked, raising my recently threaded brow. Despite the shiny orange 'tan', Seth managed to turn gray when confronted with his inspired name choices. “I'm sure you got teased a lot as kids.” I smiled.

“Well.... not really.... it's different in our country. Um. We must go now. We must meet someone. We have friends....”

“You? …. have friends?!?” Felicity tore in. This was getting cruel. It was clear their plan to hit on girls had backfired horribly and they wanted badly to get away, I knew my friends were like dogs clenching a towel. They were having too much fun, and they were not letting go. It was going to get worse fast.

“It's been really nice to meet you both, and if you're ever in Canada, look us up” I said, extending an exquisitely manicured hand. Seth quickly grabbed it and kissed my knuckles. Staring into my eyes with what seemed like desire, awe, and profound relief at being given an escape.

“Charmed mamzell” he sputtered before he and Jakob scurried away less like roosters than like fleeing ferrets.

“Was that supposed to be French?” Temperance laughed. The absurdity of the departure distracted the girls from their thoughts of prolonged torment.

“Je ne sais pas. Peut etre c'est la langue de son pais?” I purred in my best Catherine Deneuve voice.

Suddenly six eyes bore into me. Jaws dropped, eyes stared, but no one spoke.

“..What???” I blushed. What did people think I did all those years I was sneaking to the library? Read Playboy?

“So, turns out you're not just a hot girl, you're a hot French girl?” Felicity whined. “This is so not fair. There is no way to compete with this. We have to dump her in the river.” Temperance laughed. Chastity just stared. I don't think she knew who was joking any more.

“Or you could just give me back my old clothes....”

“That's not going to happen any time soon. This is too much fun. And you're WAY too good at this!”

I knew she was going to say that. Maybe I was acquiring woman's intuition.

“I don't know how to say this.....” Chastity interrupted “so I'm just going to come out and SAY it.....”

We all stopped and looked at her. Waiting for her to continue. She just stared back at us, until I couldn't take the tension. “Say WHAT?????” I knew it was going to be about me. She was as wary of this idea as I was, but I must admit, I was beginning to relax and have fun with it.

“The boys!” She looked imploringly from one to the other of us. “We have to meet up with them later. And that means they will find out we were toying with them.”

“And they were playing us. Thinking we were strangers, hitting on us like foreign high rollers. They were just as bad as we were” Temperance reminded her.

“Only we were much better at it.” Felicity smiled with more than a little satisfaction.

“What happens on Rumspringa stays on Rumspringa” I reminded them. God, I sounded like a mom.

“Yesss mommm....” the three girls smiled. Whoa.

Jakob had the phone. We bought it for emergencies before we left. Contrary to popular belief, our community does not spurn all technology. We do have a phone. One phone. For the whole community. In a room in the elder's house. We are farmers, and accidents happen. Nowhere does the bible say “thou shalt not call 911”. So yes. Before we left, we got a phone. One phone. Which Jakob had. Fortunately in a modern American mall, it takes all of 10 minutes to get a smartphone and number. Temperance called Jakob, who seemed startled. I don't think he even knew for sure that his phone worked.

“Jakob. It's me. Temperance. At the mall. They have phones at the mall. Yes. We should all have one. We can call each other and not just phone home. For situations like this. Yes. Where are you? We'll meet you. OK. By the IMAX in 10 minutes.” I only needed to hear one side of the conversation to fill in the rest.

I confronted the other girls. “It's going to be bad enough when Seth and Jakob realize you led them on. But what about me? How do you plan to explain ME? I sure can't ….not even to myself.”

“We'll think of something” Temperance tried to reassure me. “We have 10 minutes.”

More to come in Part 2...