The Unusual Clownfish Part-5

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The Unusual Clownfish
Part Five

by:
Enemyoffun


In the not too distant future, evolution has taken humanity down a different path. In a society where gender is controlled with numbers, one young man finds that being evolved might not be such a good thing.

dark-haired-model.jpg

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Author's Note:So finally got around to writing this chapter. What with moving, unpacking and a bit of a block, I'm back on track with things. I'd like to announce that finally the TG has come into this TG story...took me long enough lol. After carefully thinking it over, I decided to change the original pic to a new one. I hope everyone likes it :) I'd like to thank djkauf for the editing and my beta readers for their great help.

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5.

BEEP.
BEEP.

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

I gave her the strangest look. How could she not hear it? It was this loud beeping sound, almost like an old school truck backing up. I opened my mouth to tell her about but stopped when I saw the look she was giving me. It was the same look I’d give someone in this situation. Great, my first date and she thinks I’m crazy. Taking a deep breath, I decided to ignore it. I wanted this to go off without a hitch and my date thinking me a nut job was definitely not going to get me another.

I smiled. “It’s nothing, probably nerves”

BEEP.
BEEP.

Nerves my ass.

I ignored it, hoping it would go away.

Instead, I tried concentrating on how beautiful she looked. Her shimmering pink dress, her hair to match. She did something with her makeup and nails too; they seem to glow with an inner light. I’d seen a lot of girls do that lately. It was some kind of luminescent app or something. It made it look like parts of them were glowing. It was actually the makeup but it was kind of cool. It was one of those trends started in the vids; I think it might have even been her sister.

Of course, I wasn’t stupid enough to bring that up.

Instead, I just continued to smile.

BEEP.
BEEP.

Damn it.

“I’m really glad we’re finally doing this,” she said, completely oblivious to the noise. “You know I’ve waited so long for you to notice me.”

Notice her? Of course I’ve noticed her, how could I not. She was beautiful. I was just too afraid that I might jeopardize my friendship.
I was about to tell her so but something was different. I stared a few seconds before I realized what it was.

Her hair.

Her long pink locks were now a very shiny black.

“Wasn’t your hair pink before?”

She gave me the strangest look. “Are you sure you’re feeling ok?”

I nodded. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well after you collapsed, I thought for sure they’d take you to a Med Center?”

Collapse? I collapsed?

When did that happen?

This time I gave her one of those looks. I was about to say something about it when I realized that she had changed again. It was height this time. She was taller now, much taller. Alpha tall. Before I could say anything about it, she changed again. Her glowing makeup was gone and her face was different. The girl sitting across from me was suddenly different. Gone was Maddie. In her place was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Long jet black hair, ample breasts, tall athletic body.

Shit an Alpha.

A Super Aphrodite.

Super Aphrodites were what us Jects called the really hot ones.

This girl in front of me was a 12.

BEEP.
BEEP.

“Who are you? Where’s Maddie?”

The girl smiled sweetly. When she spoke, there was something slightly familiar about her voice:
“She’s gone Ben. Who’s to say if we’ll ever see her again?”

“What do you mean gone?”

The girl shrugged. “You know how much she hates Alphas”

BEEP.
BEEP.

“Alphas? What does that have to do with me?”

She smirked. “Everything”

The restaurant was gone. Everyone else around me was gone. The table disappeared a second later and I found myself no longer sitting across from the girl but a mirror. Sure, the girl was still there but she was reflecting back at me. Her smirk was gone, replaced by the biggest look of shock I’d ever seen.

No, I’d seen it before.

It was the same look I gave when I was surprised.

The very same one.

My look.

On this girl.

BEEP.
BEEP.
BEEP.

My look.

Who.

What.

How.

BEEP.
BEEP.
BEEP.
BEEP.

I looked up at the girl but the mirror was gone. I was alone. Confused and slightly scared, I felt something. Something off. It was cold too, too cold. It started at feet and moved slowly up my legs. Looking down scared the living hell out of me. Gone were the nice pants my sister bought. My pants were gone, replaced by the very same pink leggings I saw Maddie wearing just moments ago. My shoes were different as well. As I followed the trail of my legs up, I noticed the dress too. Pink just like hers. Then two swelling mounds on my chest. Touching them with my hands just didn’t seem real.
Mine.

They were mine.

BEEP.
BEEP.
BEEP.
BEEP.

How was this possible?

That’s when I saw it.

On my hand.

Plain as day.

The symbol.

The Alpha Mark.

Shit.

The room started to darken around me. The beeping grew louder, more rapid, too. I felt dizzy and sick. The room spun around and the beeping. It wouldn’t stop. I wanted to scream. I opened my mouth to do so but no sound would come out. Why couldn’t I scream? I fell to my knees, the dress flying up slightly as I did so. I tried crying but no tears. Why did this happen to me? How could this happen to me. The tears finally came then the darkness. It pressed in around me until there was nothing…

…. ><> …. ><> …. ><> ….

I opened my eyes and groaned.

A dream, it was a dream. Groaning again, I guess it made sense. I remember what happened now. I was waiting for Maddie to show for a date. I was in Z6. I clearly remember seeing her with her pink hair and dress, smiling as she came for me. Then things were kind of fuzzy. I think I might have passed out. Rubbing my head, I sat up, blinking as I did so. It was bright here, too bright. I had to close my eyes to get adjusted to whenever I was. As soon as I opened them again, the room was a lot easier to tolerate.

Not my room though.

It was large and circular, also white. Everything was white.

The walls, the ceiling, the floor.

Looking around as I sat up, there were other things I quickly noticed. The first was that my clothes were gone. No, I wasn’t naked. Instead, I was wearing a white skin suit. I looked at my arms, flexing them slowly. There was something different about them, they seemed thinner. As I was flexing my fingers, I took a closer look at the suit. There were only two places where such a suit was needed: either working in a Clean room or being in the hospital. Looking around, I couldn’t help but think I might have been in both.

I tapped my ear. “Bio, HUD”

Nothing happened.

I tapped again, giving the same command but in a louder voice.

Still nothing.

Cursing, I had a pretty good idea where I was.

There was only one place where a Bio was deactivated.

Shit.

I was in the Q.

The Q was short for Quarantine. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who they put in there.

Cursing again, I took a closer look at the suit I was wearing. I’d never seen one quite like this before. Sure, I’d worn them before. When I was a kid, I spent a day in the Med after breaking my wrist. They made me wear one of the suits then but I don’t remember it being like this. For instance, that suit had been gray and wasn’t nearly as tight. This one almost felt as if it was surgically attached to my skin it was so tight. I was surprised I could even move in it. There were the lights. They were faint, just under the fabric but there were red lights running the length of my arms and legs. Flexing my arm didn’t seem to change anything either.

I couldn’t help but wonder if they were reading my bio signs somehow.

It would explain one of the reasons my Bio was deactivated.

Trying not to think about it, I decided to get a better look at my surroundings. I slid off the cot I’d been laying on, allowing the rest of my thin blanket to fall to the floor. Ignoring it, I wanted to see if there was a door. I took my first shaky step, not realizing how hard it was until I did so. My legs were very weak and walking didn’t help any. It didn’t help that they looked different too. Like my arms, they seemed more slender. They also looked longer. A lot longer. I knew my body quite well. My legs were by no means short, but like my father, I was more torso than legs. The legs I was looking at were much longer than my own.

Not my legs at all.

Then again, everything about this body felt off.

It was mine but not.

I took a moment to explore it. Legs definitely thinner and longer, arms too. My waist was thinner but my hips were definitely wider. Then there was my chest. I could already see the telltale signs of bumps starting to form. While I reached up to touch one, I found the mark. It was hard not to notice. It was hard to imagine something like that appearing naturally but sure enough, it was there. Of course, it wasn’t a distinctive sign of the woman; it was more of a birth mark that sorta looked like it. Looking at said mark now, I could almost see how it resembled it. There was a circle with a little line facing toward my wrist.

But looking at it closer, it could have been anything.

What it wasn’t though was a mistake.

I cursed.

So I was an Alpha.

Halfway there by the looks of things.

An Alpha, boy was that going to change things. I turned my hand over---looking at the palm---trying to see if it looked any different. It was a smaller hand and my fingers looked a little more slender. My nails had changed though. They were definitely longer than before, not by much, but longer. Looking at my other hand, I noticed the same and sighed. I guess there was no turning back now. Then I cursed, realizing that my name was probably all over the Vids now. New Alphas were always big news for the first few days. I’m just glad they didn’t force us into interviews anymore.

Us.

Me.

Alpha.

I wanted to think of something else, anything else. There was time to ponder the Alpha thing, right now I had other things to worry about. Looking around the room, I went back to the real reason I got off the “bed”. I wanted to see what exactly I was dealing with here.

I knew a little bit about The Q. Whenever a new Alpha was announced, the Vids said that they were taken to the Q to finish their change. It was also said they were put under observation. It was that last little bit that concerned me. If there was observation than there was a way to see into the room. I knew they could technically use the Bio to spy on me but that would only be a one sided view. You know, looking out from my eyes. No there had to be another way to see into the room. I looked up, scanning the ceiling to see if there were any cameras there. I knew all the usual places they might hide those now.

Hey, I did read that Sentinel manual that the Sergeant gave me.

Cameras these days were small. There was always a telltale sign of them though. The lenses were usually hidden in the wall, made to look like other things. An abnormality in the wall for instance or a tiny hole. Scanning the ceiling, I found none of those. So I drew my attention to the walls. Three of them came up duds but the fourth one definitely drew my attention. It looked just any other wall in the room but there was something odd about it.

I walked closer to it, reaching out to touch it.

As soon as my fingers touched the surface, I smiled.

Clever.

I rapped my knuckle against it.

Sure enough, it wasn’t a wall at all.

“Step back please” said a feminine voice which bounced around my empty room for a few moments before dissipating.

I took a step back. “Am I to guess this is my prison?”

“You’re not a prisoner Benjamin”

So they knew my name.

I also knew this wasn’t a prison either but I needed to test these people.

“So when can I leave then?”

“When you’re done”

Another loaded question but another test too.

Asking questions I knew I wasn’t going to get answers to was pointless. Asking questions I knew I might get some kind of answer to was not a waste of time. It told me a couple of things. One they weren’t willing to tell me the whole truth about anything and two, they weren’t keeping things from me either. After all, some of the stuff about Alphas was common knowledge. I knew roughly how long it took for someone to be fully an Alpha. What I didn’t know was how long they were going to keep me here.

“So how long have I been here?”

“Two days”

Another good answer.

Another truth.

Alpha manifestation took a week---common knowledge. Well a week from when the manifestee started to feel the itch. The itch, I don’t think…wait yes. I started to feel it the day of the physical. Did I get infected then? No, not infected, someone didn’t get infected. What I guess I mean is that I did start to manifest then. How long ago was that anyway? Two days? God, why couldn’t I remember something so simple. Well considering that was the first day that this started and I’ve been here 2 days as well, that meant I was at least four days into this transformation.

Four days.

Looking down, I stared at my new budding chest.

Was that four day’s worth of growth?

I reached up to touch them again when I stopped. Feeling myself up was the least of my priorities right now. Staying my hand, I thought of something else.

“How long have I been manifesting?”

There was a pause.

Why was there a pause?

“Three to four days”

So uncertain. They were confused. Why were they confused? Weren’t they the people with all the answers?

Something else just occurred to me then.

“And my parents?”

“They’re nearby. The first few days of manifestation is hard on some families. We usually like to give it a few days before we allow visitors”

I nodded. “Are they here now?”

“Nearby”

“When can I see them?”

No answer.

I asked again, still nothing.

I waited a few minutes before asking again. When I didn’t get answer the third time, I realized the Q&A was officially over.

Sighing, I went back to exploring the room. Unfortunately, walking around staring at the same bare walls got pretty boring after about five minutes. It was clear they just wanted me to sit here like a good little lab rat or whatever. So that’s what I did. I walked back over to my “bed” and sat down. After about ten minutes, I pulled my legs close to my chest, resting my chin on my knees and wrapping my arms around them. It was something I’d seen my sister do. It was also something I did without thinking about it.

After an hour of this, the fake wall started to blink.

Ok, not the whole wall but a small part of it.

A few seconds later, the vid screen there sprang to life.

I guess they didn’t want me to die of boredom after all.

So I spent the next few hours doing something that normal teenagers were supposed to do---I Vid surfed. Of course there wasn’t much on. I surfed all the news channels though, hoping I’d catch something on myself. Strangely, they never once mentioned me. Now that was odd. After getting bored with that, I found their Vid movie library.

Jackpot. It looked like they had every movie of the last century or so. I’d seen most of the modern ones but there were a lot of good ones from back when my grandfather was younger that I browsed through.

After another couple of hours, food arrived.

Sadly, these people didn’t know what food was.

No Dominos here.

Nutri-paste.

Not even the good kind either. It was the dull, gray flavorless crap.

I picked up the bowl of gray glop and tried to stomach spoonful after spoonful of it. Whoever thought of this shit should have been shot. The commercials said it was nutritious and healthy. I’m sure it was but it also tasted like someone scraped it from between their toes. Not that I knew what toe jam tasted like of course. I’m just saying if it had a flavor then Nutri-paste sure cornered the market on it.

After eating, I started to feel a bit tired.

Laying my head down, I thought a little rest couldn’t hurt.

…. ><> …. ><> …. ><> ….

Over the next three days, my life fell into a routine.

Wake up.

Check out my body.

Ask the same stupid questions.

Get the same bland answers.

Watch Vids.

Eat.

Watch more Vids.

Sleep.

The only highlight of my day was checking to see how much I was gone. This morning upon waking, I discovered that there was very little of Ben left now. Whereas yesterday I could look down and see my feet, today I had two nice sized mounds on my chest. Grabbing them produced a great deal of heft. At least a C cup I think. My suit felt a bit tighter too, but it conformed more to my body now. It was quite a body too. From what I could see, I was going to be a real heartbreaker.

I’m not sure what I thought about that.

Pushing my now rather long hair behind my ears, I slid off the cot and did my morning walk around the room. Everything felt a little off now. My center of balance definitely, but the way my body moved too. These new hips of mine had a slight sway to them and I couldn’t help but feel a tad sexy as I walked about. It didn’t help that all my curves were on display. Running a hand down my body sent slight shivers all throughout it.

Great I’ve turned into a perv.

After my “walk”, I found myself in front of the “wall”

I rapped my knuckles against it.

“Rise and shine” I said, noticing the change in my voice.

Well actually, I noticed that yesterday. When I woke up, I found my voice had started to change. It had felt like going through puberty but in reverse. Today however it seemed to stabilize. It didn’t sound all that different but I’m sure it was. I touched my throat and sighed. Just one more change for the list of changes. If I had to guess, I’d say there was maybe ten percent of the old me left. I knew where it was too. I found that out yesterday in the “bathroom”. When I went to the toilet to relieve myself, I found that there wasn’t much left of me to relieve. Meaning that Little Ben was now Baby Ben. Just standing here now I could barely tell anything was there. Well something was still there but it was beyond baby size now. A nub really.

The last of my manhood.

Turning my attention to the wall, I realized that they were being a little slow today.

“Hey what’s up Doc?”

I pounded on the wall this time, hoping it was enough to get their attention. As my palms hit the glass there, I heard It echo. There was something else though too. Something not there yesterday. The wall shook slightly as I banged it. It took me a second to realize what it was. Alphas were stronger than humans. So of course, I was going to shake the wall if I banged on it. I stopped banging to look at my hands, only taking a second to admire my new longer nails. I flexed my fingers and then flexed my bicep. I wasn’t grotesquely muscular but there was muscle there. It was a runner’s physique definitely. I couldn’t help but smile at that.

As a boy, I was a bit of a couch potato.

I wasn’t fat nor was I a skinny twerp but I wasn’t a sports star either.

This body however.

I felt like the sky’s the limit now.

I couldn’t help but smile again.

“Good morning, Miss Carson”

I kinda flinched at the “Miss” part but it was inevitable. There was no boy here, not anymore.

“Hey Doc” I said, still rubbing my throat. “Thought maybe you guys forgot about me today”

I chuckled a bit.

“And how are we doing today?”

I gave a quick rundown on the vitals. She knew all that of course, I was all wired up in this suit after all.

“These are new though,” I said, hefting my new chest accessories. “Not sure how I’m gonna get used to them.”

No comment.

You’d think these people were trained not to have a sense of humor.

We spent the next few minutes going through the usual question and answer routine. She still wasn’t very forthcoming about things.

“So no ETA on me getting out of here?”

“Soon” she said and then added. “We want to run you through some tests over the next few days. After that, we’ll talk about release.”

I nodded.

I’m not sure what I thought about the whole tests thing though.

Was I just a lab rat to these people after all?

I mean what’s the big deal anyway. I was an Alpha now. They’d seen hundreds of like me over the years. It wasn’t like I could glow in the dark or shoot laser beams from my eyes. I was an Alpha just like every other.

“I do have some good news for you” she said, there was a bit of an uplift in her voice when she said it.

A moment later, the Vid screen sprang to life.

I took a step back and a few seconds later, my parents appeared on the screen.

I was actually kind of surprised to see both of them. I think I mentioned more than once how busy the two of them were. Mom with her medical stuff and Dad with his engineering. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen the two of them in one room together. But here they were, standing side by side, actually holding hands no less. They looked like crap too. My parents were those rare people who actually looked their age. Most people---most parents---when they reached their forties, they took pills and had other procedures to look younger. Sure Mom dyed away the gray but other than that they were all-natural.

The pair in front of me looked older.

They were worn and tired. Dad hadn’t been shaving. Mom’s hair was a mess. Both of them looked like a pair who had been under a lot of stress lately.

Stress generated by me no doubt.

Shit.

“Hey guys,” I said, not bothering to hold back the tears.

“Hi sweetheart” said Mom, choking on her own tears.

Dad just stared. When he spoke the first word out of his mouth was “Whoa”

An elbow from my mother fixed that. A more polite greeting followed quickly after.

“Err…hey son”

I laughed. “It’s ok Dad. I haven’t seen my full self yet but from what I can see, I’m definitely a Whoa”
That caused him to smile a bit.

“How are you feeling sweetheart?”

“Bored” I said, causing her to smile a little. “And I miss you guys.

How’s the munchkin?”

“Sad she couldn’t come and missing her big brother…ummm….sister”

I nodded. “It’s ok, Dad. I’m not used to any of this either.”

Dad looked uncomfortable.

I didn’t blame him. I was uncomfortable.

“Honey, I’m sorry this happened. If there was anything….”

I cut her off. “Mom, there is nothing anyone could have done. It’s the way the world works now. Does it suck, sure; but I’ve accepted it. You guys need to accept it as well. My life is different, my body is different but I’m still Ben.”

“About that” said Mom, looking a bit downcast.

I laughed. “So what do I put on the top of my papers now?”

Mom blinked a few times but looked at her feet again.

Dad answered. “Bethany”

Hey, I could live with that.

It was the name of his sister after all. I always kind of liked Aunt Beth.

I nodded. “I think that’s doable”

Mom let out a sigh of relief.

After that, the awkwardness in our conversation fell away. We talked like usual, save for the fact that I was in a giant white room. They had a lot of questions and I answered what I could. Mom really wanted to know how much of her daughter I was now. When I mentioned what was left, Dad winced. I think this was going to be harder on him than me. Sure, it was pretty hard to deal with but to lose my maleness paled in comparison to losing your only son. I can only imagine what that must have been like. Maybe there was a support group or something. Maybe he could talk with Maddie’s dad.

I’ll have to ask when I get out of here.

Our conversation seemed to die down after the questions were over. Mom still asked me some things but it was mainly about trivial stuff. Dad fell quiet a long time ago.

“So did they say when you can come home?”

I shrugged. “The Doc says they want to run tests. As soon as those are done, I think they’ll let me go.”

Mom nodded. She more than anything understood all that.
Dad rubbed the back of his neck.

“You hang in there, son”

“I will Dad”

Then he awkwardly stepped away.
I was alone with Mom now.

I had to know something.

“Has anyone talked to Maddie?”

I’d been thinking about her a lot over the last couple of days. I felt really bad about all this. I hated that this ruined our date and what’s more, probably our friendship. I knew what she thought about her “sister” and what she thought about Alphas in general.

Mom sighed. “I’m sure she’ll come around”

So she had and apparently it didn’t go well.

I guess that’s one more thing to deal with when I get out of here.

Mom and I talked for a few minutes more but it was clear the conversation was done. We said our good-byes; there were more tears, than she was gone. I couldn’t help but feel a little hurt by it all though. In the last few years, I think that was the longest conversation the two of us ever had. I guess it takes manifesting to get my parents in a room together and talking.

I tried not to think about it as I got the Vid screen to bring up some movies. Walking back to my cot, I sat and watched for the rest of the day. Trying to distract my mind from my life and my family did help some. As the hours waned and sleep started to creep up on me, I couldn’t help but think of Maddie a little more before lying down. I promised myself to make it right with her.

Convince her I was still me, still human.

Author’s note: As I’m sure all of you know, comments are life blood to an author. I’m not begging or demanding, but I certainly would appreciate anything you have to say (or ask). It doesn’t have to be long and involved, just give me your reaction to the story. Thanks in advance...EOF

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Comments

Like I said on Skype...

Good chapter with lots of places you could go from here, EoF. Keep it up!

Peace be with you and Blessed be

Great story

There's so much to like about this story. It's got lots of originality, great world building. And the main character and Maddie are so interesting. I hope Bethany finds a way to connect with Maddie.

Bethany's little sister is a great character too.

Her Little Sister

Enemyoffun's picture

I love writing her little sister. She's such a fun character. One Part Smart Ass and One Part Brat. I can't wait to write her reaction to her new big sis :)

Sad?

Enemyoffun's picture

I'm not sure what you mean by sad?

I'm

guessing this change is very atypical. Perhaps this 'change' was customized for someone else and he got it by mistake? So many ways this could go.
hugs
Grover

The Change

Enemyoffun's picture

It will play out in some interesting ways.

Maddie

Enemyoffun's picture

The problem with Maddie is that her biased prejudice is going to get in the way. Its not going to be a fun time for Beth when the two of them have that talk :(

lol bout time slacker :P.

Bout time ya slacker :P. I was gonna send ya a msg if ya didn't post in the next day or so. Great story so far.

Your Message

Enemyoffun's picture

I was wondering where it was actually :P

lol

Well I figured I'd give ya a day or two,plus rl is keep me busy,my mother fell an broke her hip right around the start of march so I've been handling alot of things. She is back home but she keeps me busy xD.

More

Enemyoffun's picture

I gotta write more. I wrote this chapter yesterday. I usually wait for a buffer of a few chapters before posting but I wanted to get this out there. I plan on writing Ch.6 tomorrow and then get back into my one chapter a week policy again. Hopefully I can create a buffer again :)

Difficult all around, isn't it?

For everyone involved. Ben/Bethany, her family,the people who likely expected someone else to manifest, Maddie and I would guess more than a few others. Given how Maddie feels about Alphas, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a long process for things to be 'made right' between Bethany and Maddie. Good chapter here, and as has been said, you have lots of directions you could go with this one.

Maggie

Directions

Enemyoffun's picture

So many...too many to count I think lol.

Now where to?? So many

Now where to?? So many possibilities. The "testing" does sound a little ominous. I'm also certain it will be a confrontation with Maddie. I'm enjoying the story

Joanna

The Testing

Enemyoffun's picture

That should be in the next chapter with all it entails.

good story but I'm curious to

good story but I'm curious to find out why Ted's mom didn't want him selected to be an alpha is she afraid his inquisitive mind might figure out that the alphas aren't a random occurrence and are actually selected or did she have plans for Joe or Ted? I guess time will tell.

The implication seems to be ...

Kalkin62's picture

The implication seems to be that Ted's mom did want him to be the next Alpha, and also that there's a "trigger effect" applied to the appropriate candidate.

The problem was that Jeremy (Ted's mom's assistant) tripped and ended up triggering Ben instead of Ted (by accident).

Mind you, that's guess work on my part. Only EoF knows for sure.

Ted

Enemyoffun's picture

I'm not sure I'd call him inquisitive. Joe on the otherhand...

Hmm....

Kalkin62's picture

I'm thinking there's at least one shoe left to drop.

Probably several.

The Alphas we know of aren't considered very nice people by the "jects". Tolerated perhaps, but not "nice".

How much of that is natural development? How much of that is pre-development conditioning (which Ben didn't have)?

How much post transition conditioning is possible? (I'm guessing we'll find out during "testing").

As far as Ben's pre-transition personality ... he ... seemed a little off to me. Not quite in sync in terms of his social skills. How will that translate to his/her post transformation state? It seems like Ben at least wants to go back out into the real world and live there, at least at this point. Even if Ben does become "the nice Alpha" I'm guessing that a lot of the "jects" won't be willing to accept it. And then there's the Alphas who wanted a nice "pre-conditioned" girl, and got Ben instead, how friendly (or perhaps more importantly, how hostile) are they going to be?

The specific role of "Quarantine" is still confusing me as well, I hope we'll learn a bit more about that in the future.

Nice chapter overall, I think I might personally have amped up the paranoia in the second half, though I guess Ben is a bit naive for that. Ben (or Bethany now ...) seems a trifle passive in this chapter, does s/he become more active later on? There hasn't really been any pressure applied to him/her yet, but I assume that's coming.

Anyway, nice chapter, it'll be interesting to see where it goes from here.

Edit: Disclaimer: I've just finished reading Kelly McCullough's WebMage so my sense of pacing is a bit hyped up at the moment, WebMage is an action book.

Oh .. and yes, "Kelly" is a guy.

Ben

Enemyoffun's picture

I think Ben's personality might have been a little off because its been a month since I wrote this story. If it felt off from a narrative point of view, I apologize because it wasn't intentional on my part lol. Now will his personality change a bit as the story progresses---more than likely :)

pic

Sadarsa's picture

Great story, i can't wait for more...

You asked about what we thought of the pic you used? Well as far as looks go, to each their own ya know? One person's vision of a Goddess is another's Medusa. But i will say, Isn't she a bit old to represent the character of a high school student? I'd say this girl is between 25 and 30. But really it's no biggie, for me i prefer stories with no pic's anyway :) let's *ME* do the imagining.

~Your only Limitation is your Imagination~

Girl in Pic

Enemyoffun's picture

I had a few pics of the actress when she was younger but I wanted that one because it showed her face more. Thought I have to admit she does look a bit older than Beth should. The actress herself is actually 24.

Now it hasn't been mentioned yet but Alphas do look a tad older than they actually are. For instance, Bethany will look 18 or so even though she's not quite 15 physically. The idea being that they become an idolized form.

PS: I am still debating changing the pic to another girl though :)

Mirror side

Maddie also has it rough, she thinks she has lost her friend.
And when the news of Ben's change gets out, and it will, the belief in that myth with be harder to discount and may be used against her by those that believe in it.

Rough Spots

Enemyoffun's picture

There are some rough spots coming for the two of them. Maddie doesn't have a lot of good experience with Alphas, what with her brother turned sister. This change is not going to be good for their relationship.

I love this story!

Really well done and fun to read. My only gripe is it isn't posted fast enough. But otherwise, I read it as soon as I get it.

Posting :)

Enemyoffun's picture

I've been trying to stick to a once a week schedule. I'm 3 pages into Ch.6 so things are on track right now :)

Very nice to see an new

Very nice to see an new chapter of a cool story.I'm wondering if the "white room" is a method used for starting the separation of the Alphas from everyone else?

The White Room

Enemyoffun's picture

I have a plan for that actually...one I hope will come up in a later chapter and not just live in my notebook :)

Its all in the name.

I use to think that it was so important to have a catchy title, for a story. I believe you could use, "Mud does taste like chicken". It would be an outstanding story, I can't wait.

My point is, when you write it, its worth reading, what ever you call it. This is another well written story.

The future always holds many alternative realities. I see you are having fun with this. I cannot wait to see, why his almost girl friend sister impossible death happen. If her death might have more to do with someone wanting him to transform. hugs Jackie Anna

Crystal's Death

Enemyoffun's picture

Her death will be explored. There's still the question though: Was it an accident or murder?

Well

You can certainly keep the mystery going.

Curiouser and couriouser. The transport accident. Someone trying to 'pick' the next alpha?

Good

Tas's picture

I'm glad to see Ben is taking his change well after the initial shock. I'm not really surprised, he seemed like a realist kind of guy, but it's good to see anyway.

Hopefully he can handle the world he's about to get thrust into.

Onwards!

-Tas

hmm. Bethany it is then

I wonder how Maddie will react to him/her now.