Snakes and Ladders-30

Chapter 30

*Before…

“Do tell.”
“Not here, we’ll talk more in my quarters. I just want to be careful.”
“Hmm…I rather like the idea of going to see your quarters.”
“Uhm…Ryann I’m with someone…I’m bonded to her.”
“That’s okay I’m good with ropes.”
I stop and turn and stare at him. “I said bonded not bondage!”
I’m blushing and he’s grinning and I slap at his arms. And he starts to laugh as he sort of defends himself.
~Shaya…help…~
~What! Wren? Are you alright!?~
~No…he’s flirting with me…! ~

*And now…

It’s the girlfriend laugh.

It’s in my head but it’s still the girlfriend laugh, the spouse laugh.

You know the one, that one that you don’t get until you really know someone and then they can and do wholeheartedly laugh at stuff you say or do.

That I love you so much I can laugh at you laugh.

I have always loved that laugh no matter who I was in love with at the time.

Shaya is no exception.

Only this time there is a kind of exception because I’m a girl now and she’s a girl now and we’re very much in deep love with each other and now there’s this Ryann who is flirting with me and I’m…

I’m scared in a way because I’m attracted.

I wasn’t planning on being attracted and as much as I have always wanted to be a woman all of my other life I kind of mentally dodged around the thing about me with men because well.

It wasn’t really a transitionable thing for me…I wasn’t going to be the pretty thing that men do the fall over thing for and then there was the actually being transgender back home with put me in another whole different category.

Fat, old, and being transgender is not the thing that guys look for.

Hell what most relationships look for.

Honestly I think that the one thing that we have in general as transwomen that can really set us apart from Genetic women is our experiences and our empathy.

~It’s not funny Shaya. ~

~Yes love it kind of is. ~

~No, it’s not I don’t know what to do!?~

I feel her touching me inside and feeling me out and then there’s that soothing touch…like her soul over all of this distance is floating behind me and she’s hugging me through my body and down into my important parts.

~Ask him to stop if this really wrongs you love. ~

~It’s not wronging me but I just never went there before…~

~Went where? ~

I smile inside because there will always be these little cross cultural moments that we’ll have.

~I mean I never thought about me and men much even in my dreams of myself. ~

~I have. ~

~You have? ~

~Yes…even with all the things that had happened. ~

~Happened? ~

I feel some of her walls there and darkness beyond them…parts of her old self, her old life.

~Later Wren, there’s too much distance for this…if I’m going to “go-there” I will need alcohol and you there to hold me through the telling. ~

~I will, I promise. ~

I feel her take a pause and shore herself up and then her mental embrace again. ~Wren, if you wish to be with him it’s fine with me. ~

~What no! ~

~Beloved we live a long, long time compared to humans. There is a difference between lovers and those that we share our hearts and souls with. ~

Oh… and her feelings are so…there isn’t the feelings there that I thought were there about me with say him…

~Oh…I…I don’t know it still feels like cheating. ~

~It’s only cheating if you never truly loved someone you bonded with to begin with. ~

~Wait…can you even do that? ~

~Somewhat…Bonding here is…it’s like anything with magic involved you have to want it for it to really work…if you don’t love someone then the bonds are hollow and fake. Some people do not even go through the bonding ceremonies when they marry, good bonds are so rare that many just consider them…uhm…”urban legend”…? ~

I smile at her trying to put things my way.

~So I can sleep with him? ~

~Do you want to? ~

~No…but the option and knowing this kind of changes things a lot for me. ~

~Then just enjoy it if you can…this is part of being us as women, he feels friendly enough in his flirting not a “Scum-bag.” so take it as it comes, be the girl that gets flirted with…flirt back or jest if you want.~

~Well…I’m good at fun flirting. ~

Actually I was, when it was just in fun I was actually a pretty good flirt. And sometimes even not in fun. Like I said it’s not like I won too many people over with my looks back home it was all just pretty much me.

Am I going to sleep with Ryann?

Well…likely not but I feel sort of more comfortable now that I know that being with him and stuff and being able to cut loose and just be me with him will be okay.

I mentally send her kiss contact as I feel her pulling away her attention on something else and I blink and I look over to him.

“Are you quite done?”

He grins at me. “I could be or just getting started.”

I cross my arms under my breasts and he’s staring.

Oh I did that on purpose because I do like have these and I know that they draw the eye but it lets me look at him and raise my eyebrow and pointedly cough.

“Are you really going to act like this all the time Ryann or did I judge the kind of man you were wrongly?”

He goes from his grin to a more wry smile. “No lady you did not and it’s nice to be seen as someone that’s not what all the others in the high places think of a fellow.”

“I know so can we do this without too much of this, I mean you’re handsome and you’re a sweet guy but there are people doing some really bad things to a lot of other people and I’d like to stop them as much as I can and for that I really do need you.”

He looks a bit more serious now. “Aye…alright I’ll cut it back, it’s just sort of default nature as a rogue y’know.”

“I know and it’s still fun but y’know…”

He nods. “I know.”

He does the after you gesture and I head to my quarters and he comes with me and yes he might have stopped for now but he’s still looking.

I can sort of just tell he’s watching me move and with that being like genuine interest it’s still kind of nice…flattering even.

Do I move a little more sexy, sexily? No and mostly because I don’t really know how to and stuff but it does have me doing the bite my lip a little and sort of do that smile to myself thing.

It’s just nice.

There some squires and pages waiting outside my quarters and I nod to them and I go inside and I take stock of the room and Ryann’s doing that checking the place out with that kind of curiosity of someone that doesn’t see a place like this too much.

“You can use the bathroom if you want.”

He looks at me raising his eyebrow.

“You kind smell from the cells.”

“Oh, well yes that would be true, you wouldn’t mind if I got cleaned up here then?”

“Nope you can do that while I get ready too.”

“Get ready?”

“I’m going to need some things for use to get started on this.”

“This plan of yours that you need me for.”

“Definitely.”

“Well then no time like the present.” He peeks around until he finds the bathroom and he goes inside and I head to the door and I look at the Squires and pages outside.

“Good, you’re here to help?”

One of them nods. “Aye lady we’re here to serve as much as you need the Commander said it was crown business and to give you whatever help we could.”

“Great, I’ll need some food and coffee.”

“Coffee?”

I think for a minute. “Kaffet, the dark bitter drink.”

There’s some nods. Hey I’m getting better at this.

“I’ll need papers for writing and a fair amount of it as well as envelopes and file folders.”

They give me some blank looks.

“Uhm…like a cover that you use to sort like sets of document into?”

“Aah, we call them jackets lady.”

“Okay, I’ll need a supply of those and pens and inks for now.”

They sketch some bows and they’re off all except for two that stay and are acting as spares as well as likely guards.

I head back inside and I go and I get changed into something more comfortable. Nothing like “comfortable” like in the saying home but a tunic that’s like a sweater and I skirt that’s just comfortable to wear and slippers that are kind of like ballet flats.

Once that’s done I head into the bathroom and there’s steam from the shower area and I carefully pick up his clothes.

“Ryann? I’m going to send these out to be cleaned and for a change of clothes for you.”

“Thank you that would be nice actually Wren.”

He sounded normal, he sounds nice sounding normal.

I take them and I check the pockets and he doesn’t have anything there but its habit so I did it anyway and I pass them off to a page who makes a bit of a face.

“I know, but can you have these washed and returned and maybe some spare clothes that will fit him in the meantime?”

He nods and takes off leaving his friend here to guard and I slip back inside and…

Oh…

Ryann’s out of the shower and he’s wearing a towel around his waist and he’s drying his hair with another towel and he’s very…

He’s an elf…and these sylvan’s they’re all fitting the fantasy trope of good looking. I mean he’s thin and he’s slender compared to a human but at the same time.

Six foot two about an hundred and sixty but it’s a tanned and lean and finely muscled one sixty. He’d pass for a model home even with that sort of elven androgyny thing that they have but they don’t. Model meet’s a gymnast or swimmer? Long distance runner? Dancer…since a good bit of his height is legs he looks like a dancer.

And there is this part of me taking all of that in.

I mean…wouldn’t you if you had a this sort of cross between Legolas and Brad Pit in front of you in nothing but a towel and drying his hair which has him just not really knowing I’m there so he’s just being himself.

There’s a knock and I go to the door and let them in with the food and the kaffet on those push serving carts and I go and I get a cup and pour one for him.

“Kaffet?”

“Please.”

“How do you take it?”

“Plainly with a dozen honey wafers.”

“I’m…okay what are those.”

And here’s another bit of just things here that I’m still lost about. I’m looking and he comes over and he takes the porcelain cup and a saucer and there’s these fine looking wafer in a dish that sort of look like thick yellow snowflakes.

I don’t…he takes one and puts it in his mouth slowly and purposefully for me to see and he then takes a sip of his kaffet.

“Oh…some people do that sort of with sugar and stuff or used to back home.”

There’s a part of me that went oh my though when he did that.

He nods. “I prefer the honey to sugar since the honey wafer thing is what you’ll find the Shaelani and the Ajani doing.”

“Shaelani…they’re the desert ones? And the Ajani are the Afri...the…” again I’m lost as how to describe an African looking elf to an elf when he’s got no clue to what that would be.

He smiles. “The ones with the black fleece hair.”

I…

Okay this is a shitty thing but home I’ve heard some people actually use Wooly-head to describe black folks but I’ve never ever thought that you could use something as poetic as black fleece hair….

Just…wow…

And he is giving me this look that I’ve never seen either his eyes sort of are doing this happy dancing thing but they’re warm too.

I’m blushing. “What…?”

“It’s just you had this smile on your face just now Wren and I’ve never seen a smile like that before.”

I really blush then because that’s an awesome thing to say but the way he said it was open and honest and not a flirt.

Oh dear I think at least in part that men might not be entirely off the menu…

“I’ve never heard of people that look like them called that, home we have people like that and well…we’re sometimes more than disrespectful to them.”

He nods and he clinks his coffee…Kaffet cup to mine. “Well here’s to crossing cultures.”

I smile some more just because it felt like something good just happened for me.

There’s definitely a mini-moment thing and he slips back and gives me or us both space. “You should try it.”

“I’m not one for sweet or I try not to be but okay.”

It doesn’t taste like honey that I know this is biting, it’s strong and sweet but in this…in this way that dark chocolate is in the mouth but not because it’s still honey it’s just not the goldenrod or orchard honey that I’m used to.

It’s from what I’m guessing African honey tasting? It isn’t my thing alone but as it very easily melts on my tongue and I take a taste of the coffee…kaffet it’s so strong too and bitter that they complement each other.

It’s that black chicory coffee with pecan pie thing.

“Mmm…good, not something that’s my taste but it really isn’t bad.”

“You don’t like honey?”

“No I do I’m just sort of no a fan of Kaffet.”

“Then why drink it?”

“Because we’re going to be bust and I need the boost.”

“Aah...Kaffet is a soldier’s friend.”

“And a trucker’s.”

“What’s a trucker?”

“A hauler of goods, a truck is what we drive.”

“Oh, this is what you do?”

“Did.”

“Interesting.”

“Sometimes actually I saw a lot of travel and a lot of places.”

“Always a good thing, it lends to a better perspective on people.”

“And skills.”

“Skills?”

“Well for one we tally things, and that’s what you and I are going to be doing.”

“Pardon?”

“These terrorist, Lyam’s own and the turncoats that want to do all of this they have things. Gear and equipment and booze and stuff. Well all of that gets to them how?”

“The guilds.”

“Right, they are either smuggling thing in or they’re buying them from the thieves either way you know the markets.”

“Aye…?”

“Well as we go through things we’ll make a likely map, who and where these things would come from and that will lead to where these goods are flowing to and who might be getting what in what quantities elsewhere.”

“You’re expecting the guilds to co-operate?”

“Yes and no, we get the information in secret, we offer good clean coin for it and we don’t charge them or even get in the way of them doing business.”

“You won’t, why?”

“Because the guilds are part of the kingdom too, because we need an underground economy as much as the real one and the people will not do better if Lyam takes the throne and imposes his laws on everyone.”

Ryann gives me the look he did in the cells.

“Right, then you have me with you.”

“Good, because this will become a whole lot larger than it sounds before we’re done.”

I move to the door when I hear the knock and let them in with his clothes and the writing equipment and he’s changing as I’m laying stuff out.

“We should get started…”

I turned and he dropped the towel at his waist and is getting into the clothes they brought.

Apparently he’s not bashful.