Cathy meets the in-laws?

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad.
part 116.00000000000000000000000000000000

If Stella was half as good at nursing as she was with hair, she would make Florence Nightingale look a total amateur. She trimmed my hair and styled it, much as before but a little of a wave in it. I knew that I wouldn't be able to restore this after I next washed it.

"Next weekend you're down to look after Simon, so I'll put some new highlights in your hair."

"If you've got time," I agreed.

"Yeah, I'll make time for my Sis 'n law," she giggled and I tried not to respond because it would only encourage her. But try as I might, her laugh was infectious and soon I was cackling too.

"What are you going to wear?" she asked having finished my hair and sipping the tea I'd made.

"I thought jeans and a sweatshirt, I mean it isn't formal is it?" It was an attempt at a wind-up, which I suspected would fail miserably.

"If they are by Armani or Dior, that's fine," she countered.

"So British Home Stores best and Top Shop won't do then?"

"Sadly not," she said her arms folded and her foot tapping in mock irritation.

"I have some designer gear your dad would like," the snigger I made gave the game away.

"I suppose this has 'Saunier Duval' on the front of it?"

"No, 'Nike' but you were close. It's a little black number." I continued to tease her.

"It's a cycling shirt?"

"Awwwww you guessed," I threw up my hands in pretend disappointment.

"Follow me," she said marching into my bedroom.

"This with black shoes and bag, and hurry about it," she glanced at her watch, "Yes get a move on girl or we're going to be late."

It still gave me a buzz to be called a 'girl', even by Stella who knew my origins. I picked up the green velvet dress and pulled it on, she stepped behind me and did up the zipper. "You look really nice in that," she said stepping back to admire the view.

I slipped on a silver neck chain and matching bracelet, that were originally my mothers. It felt good to have something of hers with me at times, I still missed her but tried not to dwell on it. I still didn't know if she would have understood or not. I knew damn well my father didn't, he tolerated me because he needed me. I tolerated him because I loved him, he was my dad.

I did my makeup quite quickly, and Stella nodded her approval. "You're getting the hang of makeup pretty quickly."

"I had a good teacher," I smarmed back and she poked her tongue out at me. A quick spray of smellies, this time Anais Anais, I grabbed my bag and my black jacket and we left.

I got my phone from the car en route to the Saab, of which Stella seemed to have claimed ownership. Simon won't be too happy if he knew, I thought, but at least I didn't have to drive.

It seems incongruous to think I was introduced to Lord and Lady Stanebury over a hospital bed. They were already there when we arrived, Stella had noticed his large black Audi in the carpark and pointed it out to me.

"Wot no Roller?" I huffed in feigned surprise.

"Do you know how expensive those things are to run? A few miles to the gallon! He's got an even larger Mercedes as well, but it's expensive to run, so he potters about in the Audi, she has one of the little ones, the TT or whatever they call them."

I knew what she meant, a car beloved of old men who are trying to rekindle some flagging libido or women who need to announce their importance to the world. I was more than content with my little A class Mercedes and my Scott.

We chatted idly as we wove our way to the ward where Simon was already talking with his parents. We walked in our heels clicking in unison upon the linoleum floors. Stella saw her father look around and called, "Daddy, Monica," then upped her pace to give her father a huge hug, then a smaller one to her stepmother. I trailed behind, feeling like a condom in a fertility clinic.

Simon saw me, and held out his hand and I rushed to hold it. "Dad, Monica, this is Miss Cathy Watts, dormouse connoiseur extraordinaire. Cathy, this is my father and stepmother."

Holding on to his hand with my left hand I shook hands with my right first with his lordship and her ladyship. "Henry Cameron, at your service," he bowed and kissed my hand." I blushed as deep as the crimson top his wife was wearing. "You are every bit as beautiful as your description."

If it was possible to blush more than I already was, I was doing it. I was giving off enough heat to start a nuclear fusion experiment. While squeezing Simon's hand almost to the bones cracked, I had just enough brain cells functioning to think, that he was every bit as much a charmer as his reputation suggested.

"I wouldn't believe all you hear, Lord Stanebury," I said still blushing.

"Normally I would agree with you one hundred per cent, but not in this case, if anything you exceed your description." At this point Stella coughed loudly, "As do you my lovely daughter."

"Father, late as ever," she said rolling her eyes.

He shrugged his shoulders and his eyes twinkled at his daughter and something magical passed between them, something unsaid but implicit to both of them. I felt jealous, this was unlikely to ever happen between my father and me.

"I do like your top, Lady Stanebury." I tried to bring her into the conversation.

"Thank you Cathy, and do call me Monica." She looked a little more happy after being included.

"Oh God yes, I'm Henry and she's Monica and this little dumpling is Stella and that useless lump, lying on his backside, is my my son wotsisname?" They all laughed at this but I felt it was a little cruel.

"I'm afraid that's my fault."

"Why you didn't shoot him did you?" asked Henry.

"No, no of course not." I blushed again.

"Good, you'll need to get in the queue my lovely, and I'm first. Eh laddie." He said to Simon. Then they all roared again, so much so that one of the nurses came over to see what the noise was all about. She politely chided us and went back up the ward.

"Right I believe we have a luncheon appointment with these two lovely ladies. So my boy, get better soon or I'll sack you." The twinkle was in his eye again as he spoke to Simon.

"You couldn't afford to do that Dad, I make you too much money." Simon squeezed my hand.

"Perhaps," muttered the peer, "I'll keep you on a bit longer then." Then he patted his son on the head, Monica kissed Simon on the cheek and they went off with Stella leaving Simon and me alone.

"Come back and see me this evening if you can escape my awful family."

"I'll do what I can," I said and kissed him longingly.

"Better still stay here and do that, I'll get better a lot quicker," he said breathlessly.

I reluctantly took my hand from his and blowing him a kiss almost ran down the ward back towards the car.

"He needed the kiss of life and no one else would volunteer," I said
jumping into the car.

"I don't blame them, I certainly wouldn't," Stella replied, "Did the patient make it?"

"I think so, but his position is critical."

"Yeah, that's his problem."

"What is?" I asked.

"Being over critical." She snorted and started up the car.

"Where are your parents?"

"What call me Henry, etcetera?"

"Is there something wrong?"

"Oh no, you are well in there, either the old fart has mellowed beyond description or he likes you."

"Oh!" was all I could say.

"Oh he's a charmer, so take no notice of him, he loves to flirt but Monica will stop him getting too boisterous. He's a bit like a randy labrador and she keeps him on a short lead. So you're in no danger. But at the same time I wouldn't encourage him, or you'll make an enemy of Monica for life. Not a good plan, she resembles an elephant in more than just looks."

"She resembles an elephant, I thought she was quite an elegant lady."

"Yes but didn't you notice the proboscis, her trunk. Simon and I always smile about it."

"No I didn't think her nose was that big."

"It isn't now, she had it made smaller, plastic surgery. Still, she gave you a good once over."

"Did she, I didn't notice."

"Oh yes, it seems you passed muster and bringing her into the conversation was definitely worth a few brownie points. She won't forget that, so you have a good standing in the stakes for Simon's paw in holy deadlock."

"You keep marrying me off, we hardly know each other yet!" I protested.

"No but I do know Simon."

"I should hope so being his sister."

"And I also know the pair of harpies you just met, everyone they meet is viewed as suitable matrimonial material."

"I hope not, maybe I should put them straight on that."

"What are you going to say, 'Sorry I can't marry him until I finish my gender transition'? Somehow I don't think it would go down too well."

"No just say my career comes first and I'm a bit busy for the next two or three years."

Stella just giggled, "We're here," she noted as we drew into the car park of the biggest hotel in Southsea.

"I've never been in here before," I said as we got out of the car.

"Cheapskate," offered Stella.

"Eh?" I looked very confused at her.

"The bank owns this chain of hotels, he gets a significant discount when he uses it."

"Oh!" I goldfished, I had a lot to learn about big business.