Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2270

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2270
by Angharad

Copyright © 2014 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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The evening flew by for me but I suspect dragged for Danielle. I showed her how to sew the tags in her uniform. She wasn’t impressed but she did help with some of them. I think she did about five to my twenty five. Everything has to be labelled, even socks. Simon walked by as we were doing them. “Protecting my investment, I see.”

I couldn’t remember if he’d paid for the uniform or if I had but either way I wasn’t going to argue. I made her try on a few things to make sure her size hadn’t changed since we bought the stuff. It hadn’t. She didn’t wait to take it off and replace her casual clothes.

“Why have they got to wear such old fashioned things?”

“It’s an old fashioned school.”

“Oh,” her expression was a crestfallen one, but it was too late, we’d paid for the first term, so she had to go. We might be relatively well off but a few thousand a term is too much to waste.

“You can hardly go back to your old school, can you?”

“Er–no.”

“And the local schools seem to have a problem dealing with transgender children.”

“Oh,” the crestfallen look was back.

“I hate to keep on about it but actions have consequences, sweetheart. You’re a girl now, whether you like it or not; so you have to make the best of things.”

“Don’t you think I know that already?” she said loudly before bursting into tears.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but that is the new reality.”

“I know, I bloody know, all right?”

“Just relax.”

“Why can’t I be home schooled like before?”

“Because you won’t learn to integrate if you stay at home all the time.”

“Maybe I don’t want to bloody integrate?”

“You don’t have that option, I’m afraid.”

“What d’you mean?”

“You’ve been enrolled and the education people notified. You have to go.”

“I wish I’d never gone to sodding France...” she continued to say as she wept.

“Sorry, sweetheart, but it happened. You chose to live like a girl.”

“You made me stay as one to go to Scotland.”

I did, didn’t I? I was hoping to put her off–it failed all round.

“If that was a mistake, I apologise. You didn’t have to suck the face off your friend there.”

“That was fun,” she coloured up realising what she’d just said.

“You could have reverted when we got home, I did give you the option several times.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’m really sorry if you regret all this, but for the moment that’s where you are, so I’m afraid you have to live with it.”

“Or die from it,” she said in a very small voice.

“You promised me you wouldn’t do such a thing again, or have to decided to renege on your word?”

“No, I won’t do anything like that again.”

“You promise me you won’t do anything to harm yourself?”

“Yeah, okay–don’t keep on about it.”

“I’m sorry but I love you, as do the rest of your family, we’d be very upset if you did harm yourself.”

“I won’t, all right?”

“If you say so, then I’ll accept that as your word.”

“You never wanted me to be a girl, did you?”

“I only want you to be happy and fulfilled.”

“But you didn’t, did you? You didn’t think I was transgender, did you?”

“I wasn’t sure.”

“You were right, I only did it to teach you a lesson.”

“I think you exceeded your objectives then, didn’t you? You taught me a huge lesson. But I suspect you’ve learned an even bigger one.”

“I think I have, Mummy.” I let her come to my lap again and she wept for about quarter of an hour.

“I’m sorry that life has become so unpleasant for you.”

“It’s my own fault, Mummy, an’ I do enjoy some bits of being a girl.”

“But not sewing?” I teased gently.

“If I get better at it, I might one day.”

“So which bits do you enjoy?”

“I actually like the dressing up, wearing makeup and nice clothes. I like having my hair done and painting my nails.”

“I see, what is it you don’t enjoy?”

“Being stuck like this forever.”

I was aware that there are some surgeons who reckon they can reverse gender reassignment. I don’t actually believe them. The last thing Danni needed was to oscillate between being a boy and a girl with surgery each time. I was therefore going to ask her to try being a girl for the next six months. If she can’t cope then we’ll have to see what some of the surgeons have to say about it.

Theoretically, she could stop oestrogens and start testosterone. She doesn’t actually need a penis to live as a boy, although I accept it would help. Then again she didn’t need a fanny to be a girl, that was her choice–of sorts, it seems Pia just took things to what she considered a suitable conclusion.

I think, in her crazy logic, she’s conducted two experiments; one upon herself which is a bit like the Indian eunuch type of amputation. The next was on Danni. How much Danni knew, I wouldn’t like to say or even think about. I doubt she ever thought her erstwhile friend was going to mutilate her to that extent. I think she’d agreed to a bilateral orchidectomy, probably under pressure from the others, not realising Pia was going to remove half her penis as well.

That I think shocked her when she realised it. Then came the self loathing and obligatory suicide attempt. In some ways it’s ironic that she wanted me to accept her as my daughter, which I now do completely, and she doesn’t accept herself. What a mess to be in at thirteen.

“I s’pose we neither got what we wanted, did we, Mummy?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart, all I know is I want you to be as happy as you can.”

“As a girl.”

“If you can, yes.”

“I don’t see any other option.”

“It’s a bit limited.”

“If I see Pia again I might kill her.”

“That would achieve very little except make everyone even more unhappy.”

“Why?”

“It would upset her family as well as yours.”

“Tough.”

“I hope you don’t really feel like that, Danielle.”

“Why is it too un-girly?”

“I don’t care if you’re girly or not, but her parents didn’t cause you to be assaulted in France or at their home. In fact they saved you.”

“I wish they hadn’t bothered.”

“Well I’m glad they did. You’re very precious to me.”

“As a son.”

“As my child. It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl, you’re still my child and I will love you and do my best for you.”

“I’ve let you down, haven’t I, Mummy?”

“No, sweetheart. You’ve possibly let yourself down but you were also betrayed by your friend. That’s a lot to cope with, but we’ll all do what we can to help you get through this and hopefully things will get easier and happier.”

“As a bloody girl.”

“Probably, but some of us like being a girl.”

“Yeah, right.”

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Comments

At least...

thliwent's picture

At least Danni has a loving family willing to go the distance, many don't even have that.

Very worried

Danni may have made promises but the mood says something different.

Get that kid out playing football again! Is she healed enough for sports? Prove that she doesn't need to give up any of it. So far too much of the stereotypical girl stuff. Maybe Danni just isn't a really girly girl.

I've got mixed feelings about this chapter.

At times I regret perhaps not choosing to live fully as a girl but if I had, I might not have met a wonderful girl called Helen. Now my libido had more or less disappeared, I could quite easily live as a woman but there are still mixed feelings of gender trawling through my head.
This chapter gives me food for thought Ang and at my time of life that's perhaps an indicator of the power of Bik.

Thanks again,

Bev.
x

bev_1.jpg

It must be a little

concerning for Cathy regarding Danni, There certainly seems to be quite a lot of negative thinking from her, Still i suppose its fair to say after what has happened to Danni over the last few months that most of us would struggle to cope ,Maybe going back to school might help , Being with other children might bring her out of herself a little. Nonetheless i'm sure Cathy will be keeping a close eye on her daughter for some time yet....

Kirri

*sighs*

Poor little kid. I hope SOME good comes from this episode...

Thanks,
Annette