Chapter 2

Oh my god, what just happened. Kara’s eyes were still wide and panicked as she drove back to her house just north of downtown. I can’t believe I just ran like that. I am such an idiot. She’s never going to want to see me again after what I just did.

Taking deep breaths in an effort to calm down, her heart going so fast she was afraid it might burst out of her chest, she finally arrived home, greeted by Seymour. The place was just as she left it, though Seymour needed more water. Not for the first time she was incredibly happy she’d had a doggy door put in on her back door. “Sorry I left you alone so long, baby. Come here so mommy can pet you,” she told the mutt as she knelt down to hug his neck, receiving several wet swipes of his tongue in the process.

As she played with Seymour, trying to make up for leaving him by himself all day, she thought back on what had happened that day. She smiled as she remembered the passionate kiss the two women had shared, her lips still tingling. She felt a stirring in her groin as she remembered the feel of Madison’s body pressed against hers. She had felt Madison’s hard nipples pressing through her top and into her breasts. The warmth in her center grew as she remembered the way Madison had held the back of her head and tangled her fingers in her hair as they melted together.

She sighed deeply, then began to cry. She knew, from long experience that she was going to have her heart broken, and soon. She had spent several hours with Madison and she already knew that she was well on her way to falling for the attractive brunette. She knew that Madison’s feelings for her were tracking right along with her own, either that or Madison was simply the most incredible kisser ever. That kiss had left her knees barely able to support her weight and had left her feeling so loved and cherished and cared for that she just knew that the woman who kissed her like that had to be feeling something for her.

Kara had been through this before. She would get to know a woman, be attracted to her, things moving along nicely, but as soon as she told the other women about her past, they ceased to see her for her. They would want to stop seeing her all together, or insist that they made better friends, or they would treat her as a novelty and see her only as an assemblage of her parts. While she had been okay with the latter at first, it hadn’t taken her long to realize that sex for its own sake left her feeling empty and hollow. Now, she wanted true companionship. A best friend that she shared everything in her life with. A woman to come home to at the end of every day, a woman to share her bed every night, a woman she could start a family with. A partner. A lover. A wife.

She cried, knowing that she would never have that partner and that Madison would never love her once she found out about her. She cried until she was all cried out, stood up from the kitchen floor, where she had collapsed in a heap and went to her room. She kicked off her shoes, stripped out of her clothes, and fell into bed.

She woke the next morning and looked at the clock on her nightstand, surprised to see it was eleven o’clock. I never sleep that late. I guess yesterday was more draining than I’d thought. She got out of bed and went through her normal morning routine. Even though she knew that pursuing Madison was the way of heartbreak, she couldn’t stop herself as she pulled out her phone to call her. She flipped through her contacts, but when she got to the M’s, no Madison. She realized that the two women had never exchanged contact info. Well, I know her first and last name, and I know where she works. It shouldn’t be too hard to track her down. Then, her face fell, the sadness hitting. Maybe this is a sign. I shouldn’t pursue her. She’s just going to end up hurting me, so maybe it’s better that we can’t get in touch with each other. She decided then that she was going to let sleeping dogs lie and cherish the kiss as one of the best she’d ever have. Now to make yesterday up to Seymour. He’ll love a long walk.

With that, she grabbed the leash and left to walk around the neighborhood.

***

Madison walked the rest of the way to her building, eyes locked on the pavement in front of her, still completely confused as to what had just happened. I spend all day with a bright, funny, attractive woman, have a searing kiss that leaves me completely dazed, and then she panics and runs away. What the hell? She ran over the last moments of the night again and again in her mind. It has to be my comment about stripping her naked. Has she been abused or something? Argh! Why can’t I stop thinking about this?

Madison arrived home and got into bed, tossing and turning, still unable to think of anything but the tall redhead. She thought back on the kiss they had shared and felt her nipples harden and moist heat gather between her legs. Her hands moved over her body, teasing herself as she thought about how she had felt with Kara’s arms clinging to her as they kissed. She thought about the way Kara’s long silky hair had tangled in her fingers as she had deepened the kiss. She remembered the feeling of Kara’s firm breasts pushing against her chest, the way Kara’s slim hips had ground against her. Her right hand dipped lower and brushed through her dark brown curls, gathering her wetness. She teased her slick folds, just enjoying the sensation, wishing that it was Kara’s hand touching her so intimately. She continued to think about Kara, her full lips, her large breasts, her muscular legs, her long fingers.

She slowly dragged her finger through the wet heat to her goal. The hard bud was standing out from the surrounding flesh, begging to be touched, aching. As her left hand squeezed her breast and played with her nipple, her right, soaked in her own viscous juices, began to move in tiny circles around her engorged clit. She felt the pleasure build and grow inside her, her hips thrusting wildly. All she thought of was how much better it would feel when Kara was the one giving her this pleasure. Finally, she brought herself to the crest and as she hurtled over the edge, her orgasm taking her with a ferocious intensity, she pictured those gray eyes staring into hers. That was the last thought she remembered before she drifted off to sleep, her hand still cupped between her thighs.

She woke the next morning with the sun streaming down on her, filtered through her window shade. She lay in bed, awake but unwilling to get up just yet. She looked over at the clock and saw it was only nine o’clock, so she decided to go for a run. As she ran, she thought about Kara and how wonderful it had felt to spend the day with someone, flirting and laughing and having fun. She thought about how amazing the many small touches the two women had shared had felt. She hadn’t opened up to another person in the two years since she had caught Michelle, her partner of five years in bed with another woman.

She had had no idea that her lover was cheating on her. Michelle was seemingly working the same hours she always had, their sex life was still good, and everything seemed the same. But it wasn’t. The short blonde woman had been having an affair for seven months by the time Madison caught her. The breakup was an ordeal. Michelle refused to simply take her things and go, so it became a protracted battle with Michelle harassing Madison at work and at home. At one point, it got so bad, that Madison had considered having a restraining order put on Michelle. One day about two months after the breakup, it all just stopped. Madison discovered through some mutual friends that Michelle had taken a job in North Carolina somewhere and she hadn’t heard from her since.

She had tried going on a few dates with other women, but none of them made her comfortable enough to let down her defenses and actually let them in. Somehow, though, Kara had bypassed her shell almost immediately. Something about Kara made her feel safe and protective of the taller woman. They had similar tastes, but enough dissimilarity to keep things interesting.

She finished her run and arrived home, proceeding to stretch in front of her building. She went inside and kicked off her running shoes just inside her door before heading back to her bathroom for a shower to wash the sweat off. She stood under the pouring warm water, the heat keeping her muscles from tightening up. She washed her body, the suds allowing her hands to glide smoothly over her breasts and her stomach, her ass and down her legs. She was happy with how her body looked and felt. She decided that she didn’t need to shave, so she rinsed, shut off the water and dried herself with a large, fluffy, teal towel. After slipping into a pair of shorts and a tank top, not bothering with a bra, she went to the kitchen to fix some breakfast.

She decided on a bowl of oatmeal with butter and maple syrup along with some bacon. Once her food was ready, she went into the living room and plopped down on her couch and pulled up her DVR to find something to watch. She settled on a cooking show she liked and watched an episode while she ate. When she finished eating and watching the show, she saw that it was ten thirty and she decided that she would call Kara and see if she wanted to do something. She walked over to phone and pulled up the contacts list to discover that, like an idiot, she had failed to get Kara’s number.

She sat with her head cradled in her hands. How could I have been so stupid! I meet the perfect girl and I didn’t get her number. But I do have her name and where she works. Time to go to the internet and see if the PD has a searchable directory. Feeling extremely pleased with herself, she turned on her computer and opened her web browser to find the Public Defender’s webpage. Seeing that there was no searchable directory, she wrote down the number for the office and closed the page. Guess I’ll have to try to find her the old-fashioned way. First thing tomorrow, I’ll call and see if I can find her.

The next morning, Madison decided to stay home, since the semester had ended two weeks ago and she’d already graded all her tests, there was little point in going in to her office. At nine thirty, she called the number on the Public Defender’s website and waited patiently for someone to answer.

“Thank you for calling the Marion County Public Defender’s Agency, how can I help you?”

“Hi, I’m trying to send a package to an attorney who works there, but unfortunately, I can’t seem to find her contact information. Is there any chance you could help me out?”

“What’s the attorney’s name?”

“Her name is Kara Jenkins.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t just give out that information over the phone for safety reasons.”

“Of course, I understand. See, the thing is, she and I met Saturday and I was supposed to call her to have dinner sometime this week, but I lost her card and I’m feeling like a total idiot here. I don’t want her to think I flaked out on her or anything, so can you help me out? Please?”

Madison heard the other woman’s sigh and hoped it was a good sign. “Alright, let me just look that up for you.” The woman on the other end of the line gave Madison the information she needed, including Kara’s work phone number. Madison wrote the information down and read it back to the woman, to make sure it was correct. Having double checked the accuracy, Madison hung up the phone and smiled.
“On to phase two.”

Dressed in a khaki knee length skirt and a light blue short sleeved silk top, Madison walked in to her favorite florist’s, smiling as she heard the distinctive chimes that signaled the door had been opened. As she walked up to the counter, her old friend Beth came out of the back and came around to give her a hug. Beth stood about five foot five and exuded a vibrant energy that seemed to flow off her in waves. She had a ruddy complexion and was a bit on the heavy side.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in here, girl. I hope no one died.” Beth joked.

“No, no deaths. I’m actually here for flowers for a woman I met,” Madison admitted, blushing at the look of shock that covered her friends face.

“Holy shit! You’re finally interested in someone? Took you long enough to get over that bitch.”

“I’ve been over Michelle for a long time, I just couldn’t let myself trust anyone to let them get close enough for a real relationship.”

“What’s different this time? Come on back and give me the scoop while I put something together.”

The two friends talked, Madison giving a full run down of what happened at the end of the night. As Madison went over what had happened, Beth was putting together a beautiful bouquet of lilies and roses to deliver to Kara.

“Wow. That’s quite the tale,” Beth said as she finished the bouquet. “I take it you really want to give it a chance with this girl. And you have no idea what caused the freak-out?”

“None. There we were having the hottest kiss I’ve ever had in my life and then she runs away. I can’t figure it out.”

“Well, it’s obvious she has some kind of issues that need to be dealt with. You’ve got to know that going in.”

“Yeah, but I can’t let her get away until I actually know what the issue is. It could be something that she’s blown way out of proportion in her head or something that some woman in her past gave her a ton of grief for, destroyed her self esteem. It could be something completely harmless.”

“True, but it may not be. I’m not trying to talk you out of anything, here Maddie, I just don’t want to see you get hurt. You’re my friend and I care about you.”

“Thanks, Beth. I appreciate you looking out for me, but I’ve got to see where this goes. Now go deliver those flowers to her and call me once she gets them.”

Madison drove downtown and found a place to park, walking to the city market. She wandered around for a little while before buying a cup of coffee and sitting down to drink and read the book she had in her purse. She found a table on the upper level and sat by the railing, watching the assortment of people moving through the building. After she had been waiting for about an hour, her phone rang.
Seeing it was Beth, she answered it. “Did she get them?”

“What, no hello?”

“Hello, Beth. Did she get them?”

“Hello to you, too Maddie. And yes, I delivered them to her personally. You should have seen her face light up like a Christmas tree. And your description of her didn’t do her justice. If I swung that way, I’d have to give you a run for your money. And the suit she had on. Damn.”

Madison laughed at her friend’s antics. “So is she still in the office? I’m at the city market and thought I just might drop by. It is lunch time.”

“I just got out of the building and she was still there when I left. Go for it, girl.”

“I think I will, Beth. Thanks for everything.”

“No problem, Maddie. Good luck.”

Madison ended the call and placed her book back in her purse. She stood and walked to the exit, dropping her cup in the trash as she went. She turned the corner and went around the block to the gold mirrored glass building that housed the Public Defender’s office. She went to the second floor and asked if she could get in to see Kara.

The woman at the desk gave her a smile. “Are you the one who sent the flowers?”

“That’d be me. I thought I’d try my luck and see if she’s free for lunch.”

“Alright, go on back.” The woman said, giving Madison directions to Kara’s office.

When she got to the office, she found Kara with her back to the door, looking at the bouquet she had placed next to the window. Madison stood in the doorway, taking in the sight of the tall redhead wearing a gray pantsuit with three-quarter length sleeves, her red hair seeming redder against the gray of the suit. She noted the way the jacket attractively stretched across Kara’s broad shoulders, tapering in slightly at her waist, while the flared pants seemed to make her legs go on for miles. She noticed the heels that Kara wore, making the five eleven woman stand well over six feet. She let out a deep sigh, feeling the warmth spread through her at the loveliness of the creature standing in front of her. Kara heard the sound and turned to see Madison had been staring at her ass.

“Like what you see?” Kara asked, the frightened girl of Saturday night replaced by a supremely confident attorney.

“Very much so. This view is quite nice, too,” Madison said, noticing the way the green and yellow print silk shell stretched across Kara’s full breasts.

“I’m glad you approve,” Kara said with a bit of a smirk. She looked over Madison, almost drooling over the sight of her slim toned calves. She always had been a leg woman. Walking over to Madison, she pulled her into a warm embrace and kissed her on the cheek, whispering in the older woman’s ear, “Thank you for the flowers, they’re lovely.”

“Did you read the note?”

“Yes, I did. I followed the directions and typed the information into my phone just before you got here. Speaking of which, what brings you here today?” Kara asked, while taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk, gesturing for Madison to sit in the free one.

“I didn’t have anything pressing I had to do today, so I thought I’d see if I could talk you into having lunch with me.”

Glancing at her watch, she saw it was eleven thirty and decided that it was as good a time as any to eat. “I’d love to,” she said, smiling at the older woman. “Let me close down here and grab my purse and we can go.”

Once they were on the street, they discussed where they wanted to go for lunch. They settled on a bar and grill type place just a couple blocks away. As they walked, Madison reached out and took Kara’s hand. Kara smiled and squeezed the smaller hand lightly.

Once at the restaurant, they asked to be seated on the patio, since it was a nice day out and they wanted to enjoy the weather as well as each other’s company. Their food came swiftly and the women shared bites of their meals. The conversation was light and fun and no mention was made of Kara’s freak-out Saturday night. The women had a brief fight over who would pay the bill, Madison snatching it away from the taller woman and giving her a look that clearly stated there would be no discussion.

As they were leaving, Madison asked “Is there any chance you’d be interested in getting dinner with me sometime this week?”

“Honestly, my plate is kind of full with work right now.” She saw the disappointed look start to come over Madison’s face and quickly backtracked, saying “But I see no reason why we couldn’t have dinner later in the week. Maybe Thursday night?”

The smile on Madison’s face was worth the extra long nights she would have to put in in order to be free for dinner Thursday. “Thursday sounds great! I’ll be looking forward to it.”

Once they got back to the building, Madison followed Kara up to her office. “Thanks for coming to lunch with me,” she told the redhead, closing the door to Kara’s office once they were both inside. “I had a great time.”

As she was talking, she stepped closer to Kara and placed her hands on the taller woman’s slender hips, pulling her closer. Kara placed her hands on Madison’s shoulders and grinned at the brunette, whispering “me, too” as their lips came together. The kiss started off slowly and gently, but within moments, both women were moaning and their breaths were ragged as they mixed their kisses with gentle nips and teases. Kara’s hands were wound in Madison’s dark, silky tresses while Madison’s hands had drifted around to firmly grasp Kara’s ass, pulling them together. Again, the women could easily feel each other’s hard nipples poking through the thin silk of their tops, making their arousal plain to each other.

Kara was lost in the sensations, loving the way Madison’s hands felt caressing her ass through her thin wool slacks. She moaned with pleasure and began to feel her arousal building. She felt the heat building in her panties and sighed as Madison’s kisses had moved to her neck. She felt Madison’s hips grinding against her own and the pressure she felt in her panties continued to build. Suddenly, she came to with a sudden awareness of where she was and what she was doing and most importantly, the disaster that could happen if she lost control.

In the passion that they had been experiencing, Madison had pushed Kara up against her desk and Kara now felt the rounded edge of the furniture pressing into the backs of her thighs. She pushed Madison away and held her at arm’s length while taking deep breaths to try to quell the fire growing in her belly.

“I had a great time at lunch today, Madison,” she began, gently stroking the other woman’s arm, “and I can’t wait for dinner Thursday. Also,” she said, grinning, “where the hell did you learn to kiss like that? I felt like I was gonna spontaneously combust.” She laughed and leaned in to place a chaste gentle kiss on Madison’s lips.

Madison chuckled and wrapped her in a hug holding her for a moment before stepping back to open the door and leave, waving goodbye to Kara as she turned and walked away.

Chapter 3

Madison spent the rest of the week doing research for a journal article she was working on and generally trying to keep busy so as to not think about Kara. This proved more difficult than expected. The two talked on the phone briefly every night. Kara had a big case going to trial the following week that she had been prepping for every night, not giving it up until eleven or later some nights. The two women talked about a wide range of subjects and they realized they were quickly falling for each other.

On Thursday morning, Madison got to her office to find that a bouquet of roses and a box of dark chocolate had been delivered to her. She opened the card that accompanied them, a little surprised to see it was hand-written.

I can’t wait to see you tonight. I know it’s still early, but I feel that there’s something special developing between us. I can’t wait to see where it leads.
-K

Unable to resist calling the tall woman, Madison pulled out her cell and called Kara’s office number.

“Kara Jenkins,” the smooth, contralto voice sent shivers down Madison’s spine.

“Hi, Kar, it’s me. I just wanted to say thank you for the flowers and chocolates. I love them.”

“You’re very welcome. What time would you like to meet up tonight?”

“That’s up to you. I’m not teaching any classes right now, so I can keep whatever hours I want. If you don’t mind wearing your work clothes out to dinner, I could meet you at your office and we could go from there.”

“That sounds great. Are you okay with coming by around 6:30?”

“Six thirty sounds great. I’m looking forward to it. Out of curiosity, what are you wearing? I don’t want to look underdressed.”

“You’d look gorgeous dressed in a burlap sack. But if you’re really concerned about that, I’m wearing a black pencil skirt, a sleeveless white silk blouse with ruffles down the front and a pair of purple pumps.”

“Mmmm,” Madison moaned softly, “You are by far the best dresser I’ve ever dated. And that outfit sounds divine. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me, too, Maddie. I’ve got to go now, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

Madison hung up the phone looked at the roses, leaning over and inhaling deeply, loving their fragrant scent. She took a bite of the chocolate, savoring the smooth rich texture and slight bitterness of the dark chocolate. Got to love it when a woman pays attention, Madison thought, remembering during one of their phone conversations when she had mentioned that the only thing she liked in her chocolate was chocolate. Kara had adamantly agreed with her, going off on a humorous rant about how much she hated those boxes of chocolate that were actually full of nuts and creams and all sorts of other things, saying “It shouldn’t be that complicated to eat a box of candy. It’s candy for crying out loud. If you need a diagram to figure out what you’re eating, then it ceases to be a fun treat and is transformed into a potential minefield of coconuts, waiting to explode in your mouth any second.”

Madison laughed, remembering the rant, eager to see the tall redhead again.

***

Madison left the school early so she could change out of her khaki slacks and button down blouse into something nicer for her date that night. She looked through her closet, Kara’s description foremost in her mind. She tried on outfit after outfit, finally settling on a navy sheath dress in a shimmery satin. The fabric stretched over her body, highlighting the curve of her hips and the gentle swell of her breasts. She turned and checked to see how her ass looked in it, pleased with the way the stretchy material flattered her backside. She slipped on a pair of silver open toe heels and grabbed a silver clutch as she walked to the door. She stopped to check her makeup, deciding that all she needed was a little more lip gloss.

She managed to find a spot to park on the street, glad that it was after six and she didn’t have to feed the meter. She went up to Kara’s office and was able to go straight back. She found Kara sitting at her desk, reading over a case file with a pen held in her mouth and a highlighter in her hand. Madison knocked on the door, startling Kara. The redhead looked up and a smile quickly spread across her face, taking in the lovely vision that greeted her.

“Wow,” Kara said, still smiling widely. “You look incredible. Simply amazing.” She got up and made her way over to the older woman resting her hands on Madison’s hips, enjoying the feel of the smooth satin under her hands. Madison reached up and pulled Kara’s head down for a smoldering kiss, careful to keep it from going too far too fast as it had in the past.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, counselor. I’m glad to see those flowers are still going strong,” she said, noticing the bouquet still sitting in the window, the lilies more open than they had been the last time she had been in Kara’s office.

“Yes, they’re still hanging in there. Not to have a one-track mind or anything, but that dress looks perfect on you. It also makes me want to do very naughty things with you,” she said with a smirk.

“Is that so, Miss Pencil skirt? That thing is practically molded to your ass and thighs. Which look incredible, I might add.”

While they were flirting with each other, Kara was busy putting everything away so they could leave for dinner. Once her office was in order, she grabbed her briefcase and her purse and they left, Kara locking her office behind her. As they walked side by side, Kara surprised Madison by telling her that she had called earlier in the week and got the couple 7:30 reservations at an upscale steakhouse a few blocks away. They walked the three blocks to the restaurant chatting happily arm in arm, both women delighting at the feel of the soft smooth skin.

They were early, so they sat in the bar while waiting for their table. As they sat at the bar sipping their beers and exchanging light touches and flirtatious glances, a tall, thick-waisted man who appeared to be in his early forties with a badly receding hairline approached them.

“Excuse me, ladies, would it be alright if my friend and I join you this evening?” he asked, gesturing to his friend, a slightly smaller, older, and balder version of the man who was talking to them.

“Actually,” Kara said, covering the brunette’s hand with her own, her eyes looking large and innocent, “we’re here together.”

“So are we, we just thought it would be nice to spend some time with two lovely ladies such as yourselves.”

“Oh, well I don’t mean to be rude to you and your boyfriend, but we’d rather be alone tonight,” Kara said, her face looking sincere apart from the laughter in her eyes. Madison had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing at the look of shock on the man’s face.

“Wait, what?! B-boyfriend? He’s not my boyfriend! I just wanted to know if you two wanted to have a drink with us. We’re both straight!”

“Then why did you say you two were together? I noticed you’re both wearing rings, so I just assumed that you were gay, too, and just being friendly.” It was taking every bit of effort Kara had to keep from laughing at the confused and embarrassed look on the man’s face. “Otherwise, why would two men wearing wedding rings invite two much younger women to join them?”

“Wait, you’re gay?” the man asked, clearly not understanding what was going on.

“Yes we are. I thought you would have been able to figure that out based on the way I’ve been flirting with my date since we got here.”
Both women were enjoying the discomfort and confusion the man was clearly experiencing. He realized that the attractive redhead had called him out on his attempt to flirt with them, despite the fact that he was married. He decided that discretion was the better part of valor and turned and went back to join his friend, his face beet red from a combination of shame, confusion, and a little bit of anger.

They turned back to face the bar and Madison laughingly asked “Boyfriend?”

Kara began to laugh, “Hey, it got him to leave us alone, didn’t it?”

“Very true.” At that moment, the hostess called out for Jenkins, party of two, so the women grabbed their beers and followed her to their table. They sat across from each other and listened as the waiter told them about the specials before each decided on a steak, baked potato and salad, Madison ordering the rib eye while Kara opted for the porterhouse.

Once they had ordered and were alone, Kara said, “I still can’t believe those guys at the bar. There’s nothing in this world that I hate more than cheaters.”

“That’s good to hear. I’m not a fan either. The thought of doing that to another person just makes me physically ill. Especially since I know what’s it like from the other side.”

Seeing the pained look on Madison’s face, Kara reached across the table and took her hands, lightly rubbing her thumbs across the backs of the other woman’s hands. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry that happened to you. Do you want to talk about it?”

The looking into Kara’s eyes, and seeing only compassion and affection there, Madison took a deep breath. “I don’t really want to talk about it, but I need to. I feel like we’re getting close, and I want to get my feelings on this out in the open sooner rather than later.

“Michelle and I met when I was finishing up my dissertation. We were introduced through mutual friends and hit it off right away. When I got the job here, she came with me and we moved in together. I thought things were great. We spent a lot of time together, she was home every night, our sex life was good. We were even talking about having kids. I was happy. Then one afternoon, I decided to come home early.”

Kara grimaced, knowing what was coming next.

“I found her in our bed with another woman. I had no idea she was doing this. Nothing had changed in the way she acted around me, we were still having sex a couple times a week, everything seemed great, but there she was. I was devastated. I had never imagined that she would have done something like that and I had no clue that she was doing it in the first place.”

Kara sat there, holding the older woman’s hands, feeling helpless as she saw the tears start to gather in her eyes. She quickly got up from her seat and went around to Madison, wrapping her in a warm hug and comforting her by stroking her hair and whispering soft shushing noises in her ear. She was oblivious to the curious eyes that stared at the two women, one of whom was obviously distraught.
After a couple of minutes, Madison loosened her grip on Kara and told her that she was okay.

“Are you sure?” Kara asked, pulling back and looking deep into Madison’s eyes, checking for any sign that she might still be upset.

“I’m sure, sweetie. I’m fine.”

Kara stood and returned to her seat, taking Madison’s hands again, feeling herself falling even deeper for the beautiful professor.

“I’m sorry about that. It’s been more than a year since I cried over what had happened. I don’t know what came over me. You probably think I’m crazy now,” she laughed, embarrassed by her reaction to telling Kara about her past.

“Not at all sweetheart. You were hurt deeply by someone you trusted and loved. It takes time to get over that, and sometimes, the wounds never really heal. There’s no shame in expressing your feelings. In fact, I’m glad that you trusted me enough to tell me about it.”

“I do trust you. Honestly, it surprises me that I trust you as much as I do. More than that, it scares me a little.”

“Scares you?”

“Yeah, if I trust you, then that means I’m giving you the power to hurt me. I don’t think I’ve trusted anyone since I caught Michelle in bed with that tramp. But somehow,” she smiled at Kara, “you got past all my defenses. We’ve only just met, but already I trust you so much that it scares the shit out of me.”

“I know exactly what you mean. I’m pretty scared myself.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything tonight, but since you brought it up, what is it that you’re scared of?”

Instead of her face reflecting the fear and panic that Madison expected, all she saw was sadness. It was the look of someone who was about to experience a terrible loss, but she knew it was inevitable, so she had to accept it. Madison was deeply affected by the sadness covering Kara’s face like a shroud and reached out to her, taking her hands.

“What is it baby? What has you so sad?”

“Madison, if I promise to tell you tomorrow, would that be okay? This isn’t something I like talking about in public. How about you come over for dinner; I’ll cook us something and I’ll tell you all about it then.”

“Alright. That sounds like a plan. What time do you want me to come over?”

“Anytime after six should work fine,” she answered with a sad smile.

“Baby, whatever it is, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

“Okay. Anyway, let’s go ahead and eat, this salad looks delicious.”

They continued with dinner, the conversation now feeling as if there was a thundercloud hanging over the couple. They stayed topical and far away from anything that could be remotely considered a sensitive subject, focusing mainly on the article that Madison was currently working on.

This time Kara was quicker than Madison and took the check. They stood and left the restaurant, Madison taking Kara’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze to silently assure the younger woman that everything was alright between them. When they got to Madison’s car, they kissed goodbye, the kiss this time was chaste and almost sororal. When Madison tried to deepen it, in an effort to show Kara that she still cared deeply for her, Kara stepped back and said goodbye, walking to the garage where her own car was parked, her heels clicking against the pavement as she turned the corner, gone from Madison’s sight.

What is so bad that she’s convinced I’m gonna go running as soon as I find out about it? Madison wondered as she drove home. I haven’t felt like this about anyone since Michelle. It’s been less than a week, but already I can see a future with her. Whatever it is that she’s afraid of can’t be that bad. Can it?

***

Kara woke in a cold sweat several times that night. After waking up for the fifth time that night around three in the morning, she decided she might as well just stay up. Seymour was concerned, watching her as she sat at her desk in her office to do the work she knew wouldn’t get done that night. His soulful brown eyes turned to focus on her as she switched on the desk lamp and worked until the sun came up.

She shut down her computer and headed for the shower, her face completely flat. She went through her normal morning routine, dressing in a pair of khakis and cotton button-down blouse. She went to work and went through her day, dreading the misery she was about to endure. Why did I let her in? I’ve fallen for her, and in a few hours, she’s going to tell me to go to hell. She might even hit me, though I doubt it. It’s not like I don’t have it coming.

Arriving home early, around four thirty, she changed into a tank top and a pair of cut-off shorts. She had made sure that Madison had her address earlier in the week, so she curled up on her couch, her eyes staring at a spot on the blank wall opposite her, not really seeing anything. Seymour, sensing that something was very wrong with his mistress, jumped up on the couch next to her and lay down with his large head resting in her lap. She idly stroked his fur, waiting for the knock on the door that would spell the end of the happiness she had enjoyed the last week.

Kara was startled by the loud knocking. So was Seymour, who immediately ran to the front door, barking up a storm. Kara held the large dog by his collar as she opened the door for Madison.

Madison knelt down and greeted Seymour warmly, scratching behind his floppy ears and giving him a loud kiss on the top his head, further endearing herself to Kara.

“God, he is so cute! What kind of dog is he?”

“My best guess is that he’s part beagle and part German shepherd. He’s got the shepherd coloring and size, but his legs are short for his size, kind of like if you blew a beagle up to almost seventy pounds.”

Madison stood up and turned to Kara. “He’s adorable, but he’s not half as cute as his mommy. I like the look. It’s the first time I’ve seen you looking so casual, it’s definitely something I could get used to.” Madison held out a bottle of a good quality wheat wine. “I didn’t know what you were planning on making, but I figure this will pair well with most anything. It’s even got enough hops to stand up well to something spicy.”

“Oh. Thank you. I haven’t actually started yet, I’ve just. . .” The tall woman looked completely lost, and Madison wrapped her arms around Kara, feeling the larger woman beginning to sob.

“Baby, what is it? Nothing is this bad. Whatever it is that has you in such a state, we’ll get through it, I promise.”

Madison was rubbing Kara’s back in circles, the taller woman clinging to her like her life would end if she let go. Madison steered them to the couch and sat, her arms still wrapped around the inconsolable woman.

“Baby, just tell me whatever it is. It can’t be so bad as to warrant all this. I know you’re not a felon, cause you’re a lawyer. Whatever it is, just tell me and we can deal with it together.”

Kara managed to pull herself together a little bit and pulled away from Madison. She was sitting on the edge of the couch and leaning forward. She couldn’t look at Madison as she spoke, terrified of what she’d see if she did.

Still looking at the floor, she took a deep breath and said, “I’m transsexual.”