Threading the Needle

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Reposted form 2005-04-20

A very short lesson in home economics, sort of.

Threading the Needle
by Lainie Lee

"Where did you learn to sew?"

"My mother taught me. And I can't sew, putting a button back on isn't sewing, it's mending."

"Whatever."

"Hold still."

"Weren't you a guy back then?"

"I guess so, a sissy little boy, at least. Would you believe it better if I said my drill sergeant taught me?"

"He did?"

"Sort of. My mom and my aunts and my drill sergeant."

"All at the same time?"

"No, silly. Hold still or I'll sew this button to your chest instead of your shirt."

"What's sewing if what you're doing isn't sewing?"

"Sewing is like making a dress from cloth and a pattern. I remember going with Mom to the yard goods stores and looking at all the patterns. I wish I could sew."

"This looks like sewing."

"It's not, it's just putting on a button. I helped Mom sew some when I was little."

"You were a boy and you helped your mom with the sewing? Didn't you get teased about it."

"Some, but we didn't tell anyone."

"Were you any good at it?"

"Sew sew."

"You should thank me for setting that one up for you."

"Hold still, look this seam is ripped, too. Take off the pants, you ought to know you're too old to go skate boarding. Losing buttons and ripping your pants at your age."

"Yeah. Yeah. You learned to nag from your mother, too."

"And my drill sergeant."

"I believe that."

"I need blue thread, this time. Are you actually getting a boner watching me mend stuff?"

"There's something very erotic about a woman threading a needle."

"Hush. Your spoiling my aim."

"Mmm."

"I can't--fix your pants--with you doing that!"

"Fuck the pants."

"You're going to get poked with this needle."

"No, you are."

"That's not a needle."

"I'm the thread, you're the needle. The thread goes in here."

"Ack! Wait, stop. Let me put this down. Or one of us really will get poked."

"You."

"No, you."

"Ow."

"See, told you."

"Fuck."

"Isn't that what we're going to do?"

"I'm not bleeding am I?"

"No, silly, that was the blunt end. Now, really, if we're--let me!"

"Rrrr."

"You nut. Is this why you like me to wear skirts?"

"One reason. A good one. Two other reasons are you've got nice legs."

"I like your reasoning."

"Don't giggle. It throws off my aim."

"It's just like threading a needle, it's better to bring the needle to the thread. And some times you have to lick the thread to make it stiff."

"That's not something else your mother taught you, is it?"

"Well, no. But my drill sergeant...."

"Don't make me laugh now, girl."

"Okay."

"Ah."

"Ooo."

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Comments

To paraphrase the Japanese

To paraphrase the Japanese words of understanding "Ah, Sew".
Seems like our helper was needling the one needing the help, as well getting right to the point of the communication thread.
Loved it. :-)

brings back memories

This story brings me back memories of watching my father sew my merit badges when I was in the boy scouts. I tried to learn to sew from him, I stabbed myself so much I was banned from being with 10 feet of a needle and thread.

He too learned in the military, specifically saying that it was either learn to sew or pay a huge price to those who already learned. He was economical, he learned.

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

It Was Before My Time

joannebarbarella's picture

Thank you Random 5olos for pointing me at this neat little piece of embroidery that had me in stitches,

Joanne

short....

kristina l s's picture

...and...umm... to the point. Nice how a comment or a Random Solos can point you at something you might have missed. Quite an amazing little effort. Careful with that needle.

Kristina

Funny!

I've enjoyed reading this one!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Threading the Needle

NEVER threaten a seamstress when they have a needle. LOL.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Ditto

Pretty funny.

A comedy I like it!!

A comedy I like it!!

Konichiwa

Sewing Lessons?

Sewing shounds more interesting that I ever thought it was.
Cute littel offering, Lainie. Thank you!

Sarah Lynn

Neat

Not a stitch of narrative to keep the thread of this story going. Yet your characters didn't hem (or haw). None of that "he said" "she said" nonsense to rip or tear us away from the fabric you wove.

Cute, clean, and very effective; tailor-made for the scene you fashioned.

Take a stroll on the runway, you are a diva.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Very cute!

Very cute!