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Part 8 - Baby Wanted or Not?
 
Previously… Come Monday we went to the University Medical Center. It was like a new life or chapter was beginning and I had Pop Pop’s blessing as he gave me a kiss just before an O.R. nurse rolled me off to surgery. Things went fast and soon I was hearing my doctor, “Good night Princess, enjoy your dreams, today one came true.”
 
And now…
“Hello Sleepy Head, did you have a good dream? I thought you would wake up early to hear the great news, Dr. Karen Robbins said." Dr. Karen was my surgeon, though Mom and Pop Pop wondered if she was too young to be very good. I felt her lift my sheet to show my Mom her work.

She began to lower the sheet when I asked, “Don’t I get to see what you did? And what is the good news?”

Dr. Robbins smiled, “I'll tell you, but you probably won’t remember when you wake up later.” I must have given her a good stare. “Okay, I will tell you anyway. We did, in fact, find the evidence you have menstruated before. There was a small rupture sight where prvious issues leaked and was absorbed back into your body.”

Faith chimed in, “The good news, she will be getting a monthly visitor like the rest of us.” Her Mom told her to shush.

Dr. Robbins smiled, “You can look at it that way. It also means we will probably put you on the pill as a precaution. I do not think Brianna that you will be able to become pregnant, but like any young woman you should take good precautions for several reasons.” The nurse had gotten a mirror and it was held up and tilted so I could see my surgery site. There was that orange antiseptic smeared over the sight, but I was able to see my new slit. Some of my pubic hair had been shaved but there was enough for me to get the look of my pussy. Mom lightly touched it, “It’s curly and soft, O how cute.”

Pop Pop spoke up and said, “If you are going to continue, show and tell, I will excuse myself.”

I looked and saw Pop Pop getting all red. “Poppa please don’t leave, you are the only one who can understand how I feel having been a boy. You have always been willing to be here for me, I don’t want to lose that.” Poppa stopped in his tracks and Faith gave him a hug, “Brianna’s right Grand Pop, we have embarrassed you before, but you stayed in there. Our little Sis, your granddaughter, needs you, and she wants you in her life. Did you ever have to take care of your wife when she was ill?”

Everyone knew Grand Pop was remembering if not seeing a time long ago as tears came into his eyes. He took out his large handkerchief and wiped his eyes and glasses before he turned around. “Yes, I did because I loved her and she was so beautiful.” Pop Pop did not look at my surgery sight but he did smile as he looked at me. “You are almost as beautiful as your Grandmother was and I expect you will be as beautiful as her as you mature as a young woman.”

Grandpop bent down and gave me a kiss. His whiskers had grown scratchy since he had shaved this morning. My hand caressed his face and I knew I was blessed to have him there. “I am so proud of you Grand Pop.”

I was thinking, “Grand Pop, I know New Jersey gets too cold for you to move back up there, but how about North Carolina?”

Grand Pop said, “Darling in a few years I might be in a care center; my lady friends are in Florida who would I have here?” Pop Pop knew he said the wrong thing as Mom Ruth and Faith, Marcy and Ed stood up. I tried to stand up, but I felt a tug from a tube in me.

“What are we chopped liver Grandpa Will,” Marcy was the first to voice her sentiments. “If you moved here and got older, do you really think we wouldn’t be there? If you want to be in Florida that is one thing, but don’t ever insinuate we wouldn’t be here for you?”

“Pop Pop, you know I love you and if I have a chance to be there for you, I will. Be it here or Florida, I would try to love you as you love me. But if you are here I wouldn’t be alone in doing so. As far as your women friends, I think you wouldn’t be lonely for long,” I and all the others giggled.

“Dear, I couldn’t afford the move; I would love to see you continue to grow,” Pop Pop said with tears.

Ed Storm having heard Pop’s words. “Will, Ruth and I have talked: If you would come we would convert the den as a living space for you and build on another room for a bedroom and private bath.” Suddenly, I realized I might not lose my Grand Pop to Florida.

Pop Pop smiled, “We can talk about it at home.” But I didn’t hear it as I had fallen back asleep. I heard Momma and Marcy singing to me, and then there was Faith joining in. Momma told the others about ‘Moon River’ and I was being serenaded by a small choir. The choir moved down the hall and I felt a little bad. It was only later I heard Momma and my sisters sang for others on the floor.

It was early evening when I woke again. Dr. Robbins wanted to visit before leaving the hospital for the night. She quizzed me about what I remembered. Seemingly I remembered barely half of what she had told me. “Brianna with the surgery confirming that you have menstruated before, I would like to keep you one more day to recuperate. So it will be Thursday before I release you if everything goes well.”

“Do you mean I have already had a period? But I wasn’t a girl, how could that be?”

“You should talk to your siblings and mother; they seemingly experienced some mood swings and changing behavior that indicated you might have. So whether you acknowledge the possible occurrences or not; medically it looks like we should prepare for the likelihood in the future.”

“With the possibility that you might be having sexual relations with a boy in the future? It might be wise to start you on birth control pills after you heal from your surgery.”

“I don’t think I need to be worried about a boy taking an interest in me or me them. Plus I don’t think my mother would want me to be taking the pill.”

Dr. Robbins looked to Mom, “Are you afraid that your giving your daughter the pill would give her ideas?”

“I already have three daughters and I already know they have no shortage of ideas. I will, however, agree and support Brianna in her decision.” I looked at Mom and appreciated her treating me with such respect.

The next morning I was able to have a soft breakfast of yogurt, blended fruit, juice, milk, and tea. A specialist came at 7:45 but no one told me her specialty. “Hello, Brianna my name is Caprice. I am generally a therapist for teens and women who have blocks or bad experiences regarding their body or sexuality. Today, I have the good pleasure of introducing you into womynhood; though I expect you know much. You can share with me if you know a particular area. My presence is not a question of your intelligence, rather an interest in your understanding of what it means and feels to be a womyn.”

“While I am not a diehard feminist; I am quite strong in my thoughts of a womyn’s identity being uniquely different from that of a man. I hope that I don’t offend you nor do I mean to convert you to my way of thinking. Nor do I mind having an impact upon your formation as a womyn.”

I smiled, “I strongly agree that Brianna is quite different from Brice. While I have had some good help and time to understand part of who I am becoming; I am quite happy to have your help. I don’t need to drive my new Mom and sisters crazy.”

“You may call me Capri or Caprice as you wish…” “Don’t worry if you are prone to a wide range of emotions or a different way of thinking than before. I encourage you to embrace your qualities as strengths and not to place your male perceptions upon the new you.”

“My Mom and three sisters are strong women and I’ve already been directed to be the same. They are not carbon copies of one another but they are insistent that the newest woman in their family will not break their tradition.” Caprice smiled as she led me to a conference room for our visit.

The information about menstruation was mostly new to me since my family had not conceived the thought that I might be having a girl’s monthly visitor. I did remember the past two months, times I felt uncomfortable. Last month I even thought I spotted some blood in the toilet. I was going to check a pad I had discarded but Marcy wanted in to use the bathroom.

Caprice giggled at the possibility but excused herself saying she was not seeking to make fun of me. I had not noticed the table until Caprice mentioned needing to teach me an exercise to help my vagina to be able to receive a lover. I joked, “Well what if I decide to be a lesbian. This exercise wouldn’t be needed then.” I giggled thinking I was being smart.

“O contraire, even there you and your lover would probably want to heat up each other passionately. I would be more than willing to help you explore that possibility as well. It would be confidential with us.” I lay back on the table as Caprice pulled out some dildos from her carry-along bag. She had various sizes and each looking like a man’s cock, though with differing lengths and thicknesses. I couldn’t believe what she just said.

“I’m not likely to be approached by some southern belle lesbian am I?”

“You don’t really think there are fewer lesbians in the South do you?” She saw by my face that I did.

“Well with Redneck’s around I thought that kind of fruit would be driven north.”

“Well, look at the bigot out of the Concrete Jungle.”

“How do you get away with calling a patient a ‘bigot’,” I said with an attitude. “Do you speak to all patients this way?”

“No I don’t, but you caught me by surprise as a transgendered girl, calling someone a fruit. If you want to tell your mother, father or one of your sisters I would be willing to apologize if they wished,” Caprice said. Caprice was pretty smug.

“I was wrong in saying that; I’m no bigot. I never was in a fight with any of them except one guy, but it had nothing to do with him being gay.”

“Brianna, a lot of people think well of you, but being a transgendered girl yourself, I am surprised by what I heard. Each of us has been swayed in some way that others might call prejudice. You seemingly have some misconceptions of southern women as well as being sensitive to stereotypes people have of guys in Jersey and the Big Apple.”

I smiled, “I won’t say thank you, but I am kind of glad you called my number. I am sure if you say anything to the others, I would have more trouble from them. Somehow I have come to think of myself as a normal girl, while I look at others differently… I had already found myself wonder about myself where other girls are concerned.”

I braced my arms and elbows to help hold my head and shoulders up to see what she was doing but I was soon surprised by the feelings shooting through my body because of her devices penetrating me. “That is very good; it means the surgeon did really well in forming your vagina.” When she used the second and third cock shaped dildo I was being sent into a sexual fantasy despite my attempts not to go there. I began to moan, and though some of it was uncomfortable the moaning was all because as a girl I couldn't handle the flood of joy. I didn’t think Caprice had gone overboard but my experience was unlike anything I had previously.

Caprice had finished, fixed my robe and waited at least five minutes or more for me to come back to normal. “You know many more guys could experience an orgasm than do. They think all heightened joy and ejaculations are orgasms. If they would concentrate on helping their partner enjoy herself, they would more likely experience how fantastic good sex can be.”

“I should tell you it is likely that you will wonder if you have a lesbian leanings. Many males who change to females change as do their relationships for sometime before they realize what is true for them. And the same about helping a female lover to experience joy also helps your joy… What we just did was restrained because it was therapy and not for sexual gratification.” She was amused to see my expression, ‘thinking it was restrained.’

“I’ve experienced that with a neighbor my age who’s become a close friend. Mom told me the same thing when I talked with her about it." I confessed, “I think it is going to be as hard on Mom in giving me room to grow and mature as it will be on me.”

Caprice and I went back to my room where we talked about keeping my parts clean and things like yeast infections and stuff. “If you and someone are likely to have oral sex, you might want to make sure the other person takes care of their breath and has clean hands. Their mouth and hands are dirtier than your vagina. And your membrane tissue is much more sensitive and delicate than what you experienced as a guy.”

“You must think I was more active than I was.” She laughed. Karen my nurse interrupted needing to take my vitals. She was having trouble keeping a smile off her face until I asked. “So spill, what are you holding back your smile for?”

“Well, I am happy for how well your operation went and how sensitive you are. I am to be observant but some things are just too sensitive and well I’m sorry I heard,” Karen said.

“Can you stop later if you find the time. If you would, I would like to talk woman to woman.” She said, “I would be happy to.”

Caprice was just about through when Marcy knocked on the door to come in. It ended our session and I introduced Marcy to Caprice. “Has my little sister been a good patient?” I paused and held my breath wondering how Caprice would answer.

“She’s lucky to have a good family to get grounded in. While you help and encourage her, I hope you will also challenge her to grow up and not be dependent upon her family. She needs to grow as the woman she is.”

Marcy took note and after Caprice left, “So Wonder Girl has dropped a notch or two. I hope you are not dismayed, the rose-colored glasses needed to come off sometime.”

“I don’t think things have been all that easy!” I started to pout and my eyes were tearing.

“Quit pouting and let’s go for a walk.” I was standing a bit gingerly when Marcy asked, “Is it from the surgery or the therapy?” Marcy tried to keep a straight face but fell in a chair laughing. “I am sorry, but you need to get those things out of sight.” She had opened the cloth covering the dildos I needed to use. “It is so funny what Pop Pop’s unexpected Bridesmaid has gotten herself into.” She continued to laugh more. “I don’t want to hear you moaning at night claiming it is just therapy.” Here I was now standing and finding myself laughing uncontrollably. Karen came into check on us and we both started to laugh harder. Marcy asked as she laughed, “Can you find a place out of sight for those, especially the big one.” I wasn’t sure who blushed more Karen or me.

We walked down to the lounge where Lacy was waiting with some Chinese take-out. It was the first tasty meal I had since the night before surgery. Mama thanked, “Marcy thank you for lending me your book. What did you think of the young colonel?”

I jumped in joking, “If she likes the colonel, I want to know if he has a younger brother?”

Marcy giggled, “Mom when you're done you should give it to your new daughter. We might find out if she can relate to Anne and if her juices are working.”

“If I stay and read, I can give her the book before I leave. It would be good for her literature class along with her personal development.” Lacy picked up the book, “It looks interesting and I saw it on Goodreads. Bri, would you mind if I downloaded it and then we could read the same book? Then we can vie for who gets swept off her feet by our hero.”

“I don’t think I am likely to get swept off my feet by another guy.”

“You shouldn’t stay away from girl romance. You will be falling for guys, and if you forgot your surgery you’re not another guy anymore. I sometimes wish you were, I find it easy to talk to you.” Mom and Marcy were enjoying our part of the conversation.

“So if Brianna was still Brice, you could have been interested in him,” Mom quizzed Lacy? Marcy smirked and I was becoming embarrassed. I was interested in her answer.

“Well Brianna is prettier, but yes I thought Brice was cute. I would have said something but I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to reveal anything to others. We were in a group of girls at the reception and as well as before you went to the beach. I found Bri easy to talk to. After the reception, I went home and found my Ken doll and even put a Barbie dress on him. …I was disappointed when you didn’t ask me to go with you to the beach. I thought I gave a pretty big hint that I wanted to go.”

Marcy and Mom giggled till Mom finally admitted, “We had heard your hints but we weren’t sure you could take knowing Brianna as Brice, Grandpa Will’s Grandson.”

“I was surprised that Brianna came with Grandpa Will because you told me he was bringing a grandson who was my age.” Lacy changed the direction of the conversation. “Bri, I for one am glad you’re Brianna; you’re now one of my best friends and I plan to keep it that way. Boyfriends come and go, but a best friend is more precious. Plus this way we can go after the boys together.”

While we were visiting a young woman came up and asked Marcy if she would hold her baby while she went to the restroom. But I became suspicious by the direction she walked to find the women’s room. I tapped Lacy and we were three steps behind her when she rounded the corner to go down the hall.

When she paused to look back at her baby, I was pretty sure what was happening. She was surprised to see us and she tried to run but I had a hold of her. “What is so bad that you’re going to give her up,” I asked?” …Lacy was now behind her and also had a hold of her. “Relax we won’t force you to stay, we just want to see if we can help you with your baby, if possible.” Lacy now realized what the girl was going to do. She’s possibly a year older than we are so it was hitting home.

We moved out of the line of sight and sat on the floor and talked. “Rose is five days old and I’ve tried but she needs more. Don’t you think I would keep her if I could?” She was having trouble talking, “I love Rose, even though you think I don’t. But my parents would think I’m a slut if they found out. They would take control of where Rose went and that wouldn’t be good.”

“I was sure the father would help once he saw her. I can’t believe what he said, ‘if she was a boy it might have been different.’ Can you believe that?”

Lacy spoke up, “How did you think you could manage to raise her on your own?”

“My Aunt Margaret knew I was pregnant and said she would help me. That I could stay with her for at least six months. My Dad is her brother and she knows he drinks too much. When he drinks like that he says and does things he regrets. It wouldn’t be safe for me or my baby. Like my Ex my Dad does not think much of girls, a baby boy might have been different. Then Aunt Margaret was laid-off from her work two weeks ago. So I decided I had to try to live on my own. I stayed with friends for the first two days. I told their parents my parents were away.”

I wasn’t sure how much we were hearing was the truth, but I tend to be upfront. So I just said, “I would be interested in helping you, but I’m not sure how much of what you are saying is true. So be straight with me. …Are you serious about loving and caring for Rose?”

“I just nursed her until my nibbles are kind of raw. If that would prove anything I would be willing to show you. And if you want I could call my Aunt because that is where I would stay if I could raise Rose.” Mom had come out from the lounge looking for us as well as the baby’s mom.

“Can you tell me your name?” I looked to my Mom and patted the floor.

“I’m Sandra and I am sixteen Aunt Margaret lives here in Raleigh,” Sandy said.

Sandra was scared when I told Mom what she was doing. “I thought something was up, but we’re not talking about it on the floor in the hall. I suspect Sandra knows this is a “Safe Place” and that she won’t be charged with anything if that is what she decides to do. Please let’s visit in the lounge.”

Mom looked at me, “I need to ask first if you are in need of getting back to your room?” Sandra looked at me, “I’m sorry I didn’t know you were a patient, I thought you were waiting to visit someone.”

“I had surgery yesterday to fix my plumbing.” Lacy and Mom were amused about how I handled that. “Mom I think I am okay if we visit in the lounge for another thirty minutes.” Marcy was relieved to see all of us, as Rose was getting restless. Sandy checked her diaper and began to change Rose having placed a baby blanket on the table we were sitting at.

“I hope you don’t mind but she might fall asleep if I nurse her a little.” Three sets of eyes looked at me for a reaction. We all said it would be okay. Sandra was very modest putting a blanket over her shoulder and covering Rose and her breast before she opened her blouse. I learned that a nursing bra opened so a Mom could nurse her baby with little trouble. It was kind of neat to see.

I asked, “Sandra is it okay to call someone who might be able to help?” Sandy kind of smiled, but reserved herself from getting too excited. “Hi Carrie, I wasn’t sure if I would get you or Jeanette, but I need to know if I can get some of my singing money to help a young Mom here.”

“Yes, I know of your foundation but I didn’t know if you would want to do what I am thinking about. I had my surgery yesterday. The hospital I am in is a Safe Haven hospital. A young mom was going to leave her baby here because she can’t manage to care for her. …Yes, the baby is a girl and she is cute. …She’s only five days old. Sandy, the Mom was planning to keep and raise her with the help of an aunt, but the aunt lost her job, just two weeks ago.”

“I wanted to find out if it was true that Sandy and the baby are welcome to stay there. …I thought I had at least $4,000 there and with singing in New Jersey I could use half of that money to help. … I was thinking $750 per month for a year if Sandy is willing to get back to school and be serious about caring for Rose and going to school…Wow, that would be great, but I wasn’t calling to ask your help.” Carrie and I talked another few minutes and then Carrie talked to my Mom.

“Can you call your Aunt Margaret and see if she can come here. I don’t mean to put her or you on the spot, but we can help if it really has a chance to work.” Sandy was quickly on the phone calling and talking to her Aunt. Lacy was about to say Carrie’s full name but I shushed her as I didn’t want Sandy to know where the money was coming from.

Mom noticed I was getting uncomfortable so we all went to my room. Nurse Karen came in and was going to say some of the visitors needed to be in the waiting room. But I spoke first, “Karen is my doctor up on the floor yet or is there another doctor around?”

“Dr. Robbins just called and said she is coming up to the floor, but if the others leave the room I could check and see how you are doing. If it is an emergency I want to make sure and get Dr. Robbins in here right away.”

“No, I am fine though I do have some questions. I will need Sandy and Rose in here when my doctor comes.”

Karen said she was there to check me and suggested the others leave. But with Sandy nursing her baby I just asked Karen to be as discrete. “You look to be ahead of schedule in healing. Dr. Robbins is a really good surgeon and she has done a fine job.”

“Thank you,” I said. Ruth nodded her head, “I am glad you know enough to be appreciative.” As the nurse began to cover me back up Dr. Robbins came into the room.

“I too appreciate that you are happy with the results, but what is the problem that you were asking to see me?” Nurse Karen was still holding the sheet up so Dr. Robbins could check me. She had wiped her hands with germ-x and then touched me. She began to touch my surgical area like she was gently petting me. I was embarrassed as it felt good the way she was touching me. “I apologize, but I heard you already had some good healing there. I was reluctant to believe it already, but I guess that is good news for you.”

I smiled, “I have no complaints there, in fact, I thank you… My friend had her baby away from a hospital and I was wondering if you could check her baby but she doesn’t have money? She was going to leave her baby, but if I could help her and her aunt to keep the baby that is what she had wanted.”

Dr. Robbins casually observed them, “You know she and her baby should be in here overnight for a good check. Would you mind an extra bed and a small layette in here for the night?”

We all smiled as Mom even answered for me, “She would be happy. It would be a good experience for Brianna to have Sandy and Rose here with her overnight.”

Dr. Robbins said, “So Mama, you want to raise your daughter. I will have the nurse bring in a nursing gown and a have a bed and layette brought in. I will check back on you after I finish my rounds, is that okay?”

Sandy had a huge smile, “As she said I don’t have any money or insurance; I don’t even have a job to pay you back soon. But yes, I love her and I think I will be a good mother to her.”

“You have two jobs for now: to be a good mama and to make sure you graduate from school. The hospital has funds to help make a difference; we will make sure they put some of that money to good use,” Doc said, “If that is alright with you?”

Sandy was smiling again, “I would appreciate it very much, thank you.” Dr. Robbins turned and left the room though we wanted to thank her.

“Mom, Carrie said if I used $2000 of my money her foundation would give $7,000 so they could have $750 per month to cover her and the baby. Isn’t that great?”

“Our family will give another $250 per month so it would be $1,000, but that still makes things very lean. Sandy, you and your Aunt will be making a lot of sacrifices to make ends meet and keep Rose.”

“It is fitting that I do my part to make it work. It will help me to appreciate how special Rose, this time in our lives really are.” There was a knock on the door and a woman came in whom I didn’t know. Sandy smiled, “Hi Aunt Marge, you have a new niece. I know how I can raise her if you will help me.”

Marge went and gave Sandy a hug and first looked and then picked up the baby and cuddled her in his arm. “How come I didn’t know the baby was born? I thought it wasn’t due yet.”

“When you were laid off Aunt Marge, I knew you wouldn’t be in a position to help me and the baby. I tried to care for her on my own. It wasn’t working out. I was going to leave her here; it’s a Safe Haven center. This girl figured out what I was doing when I left Rose with them saying I needed to go to the women’s room.”

“But I thought you just said you know how you can raise her?” Aunt Marge was confused, but she asked Sandy, “How?”

“Brianna, her Mom, and a friend said they can help us with $1,000 each month for a year if it is true that you would help me to raise her with you. I trust you, Aunt Marge.”

Aunt Marge turned to us; “I don’t mean to seem ungrateful but who are you? Is what Sandy said true?”

Mom spoke first, “I’m Ruth Storm, the patient in the bed is my daughter Brianna. This is an older daughter Marcy, and our neighbor Lacy. Brianna sang with a popular country singer who has a special heart for single parent moms. That singer is willing to help with most of the funds based on Brianna’s word. Between the money, Brianna can give to her, and our family, we have $12,000 committed for the coming year to help if Sandy takes responsibility for raising Rose and keeps herself in school so she can graduate.”

“It might seem hard to believe but it is strange from our side as well. We were blessed to be here at the right time. Our doctor will be back here when she finishes her rounds. She will check Sandy and the baby and they will stay here overnight. They will be bringing another bed in here for Sandy and a bassinet so Rose can stay in the room as well.”

Marge had to sit as she was cuddling the baby; she began to cry. “Sandy is a good girl; she loves her baby. She just wasn’t smart in loving the guy she did. I was like that too, but my baby was given away. I will do everything to help her keep that baby even if you don’t help us.” Sandy hugged her aunt. We were sure it was the first time Sandy knew of her Aunt having a baby she had lost long ago. One could tell somehow there was a new deeper kinship.

Nurse Karen came back with a gown for Sandy, it was a bit different from mine so she could nurse her baby. “We need you to take a good shower, cleaning yourself thoroughly. I suspect Mrs. Storm or your Aunt could help you if needed. I was even able to find a fresh pair of panties.” As Brice, I would not have understood how precious that was.

It caused me to doze off and think how my perspective of life had changed. Keeping clean as a woman was not only about smelling nice, but staving off possible infections. Concern was not just about oneself, but worrying that a guy would not worry nor think about him infecting a woman. His unbridled mouth could make a girl appear to be less intelligent. It was bad enough to be discounted by a guy and society but to be a woman and get sick added to the hurt.

Marcy had shared stories of some of the doofuses she had dated. Some who were so cheap they never brought enough money and she would end up paying more than they did; or where her date asked her to dress up while he came in tattered jeans.

Marge asked, “Mrs. Storm could you help my niece, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be sure what to do?”

“We’ll let her get in the shower and if she needs help we will both go in and I will help to show you what you can do for her and what she should be able to handle on her own.” Marge was no shrinking violet trying to get out of helping. When Sandy called they went in together. Mom soon left Marge and Sandy in there to work together.

The bed and bassinet were brought in as well as a small table with a sink of water for washing the baby. The nurse's aide asked which of us wanted to bathe the baby. Everyone volunteered but Mom decided Lacy and I should be the ones. It was fun with Lacy saying, “Bri isn’t this like playing house, now we have an actual baby and not our dolls.” She looked up at me, “You have played with the doll I gave you?” I smiled and truthfully was able to say ‘Yes’.

Rose was a happy baby and cooed as we bathed her. I was more than a little nervous as we washed a newborn baby. She was now out of the shallow tub and Lacy was drying her as I prepared a diaper. Mom was guessing Rose was about 7 lbs. when she was born. Marcy had stepped out of the room and came back with two bodysuits for newborns. The one we chose to put on Rose said, “Mommy’s little Cuttie," which she truly was.

Sandy and Aunt Marge came out from Sandy’s shower, just after we placed Rose in the portable bassinet. Mom asked to borrow my brush to brush out Sandy’s hair. Sandy smiles as she quickly realizes Mom knew what she was doing. Sandy realized Rose had a new outfit and asked to see her. She had a wide smile as she saw her baby clean and dressed.

Soon Sandy was in her bed and Nurse Karen came in to check if Sandy was ready for the doctor to come back. Karen said, “Dr. Robbins will be here soon,” and she left.

When Dr. Robins came in she asked for everyone except Sandy and me to leave the room as she would check Sandy and the baby. Thankfully the doctor went to pull the curtain between the two beds. Sandy asked, “Could you please leave the curtain open?” So Nurse Karen pulled it back open.

I couldn’t help myself as I looked and Dr. Robbins opened Sandy’s gown to check her. I couldn’t believe how large Sandy's engorged breasts were. Dr. Robbins complimented, “Sandy, you have done fairly well in caring for yourself and the baby. How have you felt nursing Rose?”

When Doc asked Sandy to spread her legs I became very uncomfortable. Sandy joked, “You should come over here Brianna and see what my vagina looks like five days after a little baby came through it.” Dr. Robbins smiled slightly and looked over and waited for me to come over.

I got out of my bed not sure what would be done or what I was going to see. I stood closer to the head of the bed and held Sandy’s hand. The doctor was looking closely at Sandy, “Did you realize you tore a little when your baby was born?”

Sandy giggled a little, “There was already some blood and it was already hurting, no, I didn’t realize it.”

“Who helped you when you gave birth to your daughter?”

“I can’t say, but there were two friends, one with medical experience.”

Dr. Robbins looked up and decided not to pursue the question. “I think they did a reasonable job, but you took a sizeable risk for you and your baby. …Karen give me the irrigation bottle please.” Karen spread the lips of Sandy’s vagina and Robbins squirted the bottle and then dabbed the area. Dark blood and water seeped out, as I realized they had a pad under Sandy. “Don’t worry Sandy, this appears to be old dry blood. It is good we are cleaning it out but it should have been done after Rose was born and the next day before you would have been sent home.”

Dr. Robbins asked, “Are you allergic to anything?” With Sandy’s answer, she was asked to turn to the doctor could give her a shot in the back hip. Dr. Robbins used a needle to numb the torn area and waited for it to take effect before she irrigated the tear and then stitched it shut. With that, the exam of Sandy concluded.

They had Sandy lay back and laid Rose on top of Sandy and Rose’s exam began. Dr. Robbins made sure Rose did not receive any vaccines. Then she asked permission to give Rose multiple vaccine shots. Sandy and I teared as we told Rose she was okay when she cried with the vaccine. They weighed and measured Rose; “She weighs 7 lbs. 1 ounce and she is 20  ½” long.”

“Sandy, I commend you for the difficult decision to consider and now with the help of some new friends. Have decided to keep and raise your baby? I want to set up an appointment for me to see you and your baby in two weeks at my office.”

Karen spoke up, “You should not only thank Brianna and your new friends but you should get phone numbers and other information. You will need these friends to help raise your little girl.”

That is not necessary,” I said but was corrected by Dr. Robbins. Sandy was already saying thank you and turned to give me a hug. The doctor said, “This young lady needs to be nice to you and the others because as Karen said, she will need you in the future.”

Dr. Robbins asked, “Brianna would you please take Rose so Sandy can get up and get changed?” She handed Sandy a bag as she got out of the bed. Sandy pulled out a nightgown designed for nursing mothers. It was new and looked very pretty.

Sandra asked, “Brianna did your family get this for me?”

Nurse Karen said, “I think that is from Dr. Robbins.” Sandy had already started to shed her hospital gown when she reached to give Dr. Robbins a hug and say “Thank you.” Dr. Robbins was a little surprised and felt a little embarrassed as Sandy’s breasts were visible and up against the doctor as they hugged.

Sandy without thinking used a washcloth and towel to clean her body and put on her nursing gown there in the room. She twirled and was excited as we saw a new mother excited like a little girl. She was encouraged to put on her panty before others were allowed back into the room.

“I suggest a short time for visiting and then allow these three to rest. If you visit after dinner, I encourage you to keep those visits short as well,” Dr. Robbins asked before she left. “Brianna, I want to commend you for being such a fine young lady and I do mean ‘lady.” Smiled, glad that Dr. Robbins saw me as another woman.

The others left after thirty minutes and Karen came to insist that we lay back and go to sleep. Like, little kids, we waited until she left and commenced to visit as teen girls would. I wanted to know what it was like to have a baby. While Sandra, as she preferred being called, thought $12,000 would be a lot of money to live on. It wasn’t long and Rose demanded to be in on the visit. I brought Rose to Sandra. I saw how her gown opened to nurse. Then she touched a breast to Rose’s cheek and Rose turned and took the nipple into her mouth and sucked.

Sandra winced at first as Rose sucked on her breast, but soon relaxed and we talked as Rose was nursing. I had never thought of how it felt for a mom to have a baby chomp down on a tit. It looked beautiful a mother and baby together. I just thought it had to be beautiful for both.

The other day I had surgery to physically become a woman, and today a friend was nursing her baby and I was just another girl. Now my eyes teared as I thought it would be nice to be like her even with a little discomfort…
 

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To Be Continued...