Wigging Out
By Paul Calhoun

A man finds a female disguise and then forgets to take it off before he answers the door.

A test of a couple of masking elements I wanted to try out. First the mask itself which is unlike those I usually use and also an exploration of what happens when the target boyfriend knows from almost the very beginning who the female really is.

Dust was everywhere and it made Darien nervous. A lot of things made him nervous, and breathing in dust that had previously been settled quietly on the neatly packed crates he’d pulled down from the dry, hot attic was up there on the list. He wasn’t asthmatic; he just didn’t like the idea of inhaling something unusual. On the other hand, he loved finding interesting things in the saved treasures of his parents, grandparents and further up the ancestral ladder. He never knew what he was going to find, but it always proved illuminating to find out what his relatives had collected over their lives and felt worth saving in these boxes, crates, trunks and steamer chests. As he lifted the brown linen dress with its plain white sleeves, white buttons, simple belt and long pleated skirt out, he could imagine a great-grandmother or maybe even her mother wearing this as she walked barefoot across grassy meadows to meet her future husband in the old country. He laid it out on the bed and lifted out the next object. A pair of silicone breast enhancers. Right, so maybe this was his mother or grandmother at a Ren Faire dressing up as the busty barmaid or pirate wench. The undergarment that looked like a cross between a thong and a pair of full briefs with padded sides confused him even more. His breath caught when he lifted out the wooden wig stand and the almost knee length mousy brown hair cascaded down over his feet. Despite the passage of time, the straight hair was still arranged in a loose plait and the bangs were plainly visible. It was still soft and on an impulse, Darien lifted it off the stand and lowered it down over his closely cropped scalp.

He rubbed his cheek on the locks that spilled past and quickly laid the wig back down so he could remove his shirt, trousers and undergarments. Pulling the wig back on, he luxuriated in the soft but slightly ticklish feeling of the mass of hair that only just started to feel heavy. He shook his head quickly, letting it fly around and settle more naturally. He looked in the mirror; he had an erection and looked little silly. At first he’d hoped that the long hair would make him look like rocker, but the cut was too feminine. It wasn’t lustrous, but it was … serviceably cute. The sort of cute you’d see on a flower child or a librarian who had an interesting life outside the stacks.

He was pulling back off when he felt it pull back. There was something sticking to his forehead. Looking more closely, he saw that there was a fringe of something that blended almost perfectly with his own skin. Perhaps the wig had been made with a little extra something to make it look more natural. He tugged on it and the fringe unrolled slightly, covering more of his forehead in the substance which was maybe half a shade lighter than his own skin. He unrolled it some more and found that it went down to his nose and had holes for his eyes. Further exploration produced nostril openings and a space for his mouth. By then he had unrolled the entirety of whatever it was and the edge almost vanished into the middle of his neck. He felt his face and there seemed to be some sort of gel filled stuff in places; a little like the liquid filled face masks that his mother had bought for heating or cooling depending on his ailments.

He looked back at the mirror and a slack-jawed expression was on the face that stared back. Not his but one he wouldn’t mind seeing every day. It was a serviceable sort of face, female but comfortable. Cute but not ravishing. The face of someone he might not stare at in a bar, but could wake up to every morning. Definitely a face a person could live with in the daily life and could wear without feeling like it was wearing him. The girl’s face on the male body in the mirror smiled and it seemed to Darien that his teeth were whiter. That’s how it looked when the girl shyly flashed her dazzling grin again. It might not be the face of a great beauty, but when she smiled, she lit up the room.

Wanting to see if the illusion could go any further, Darien stepped into the odd panties, seeing that they’d pad his hips and were made to hold a male member between the legs. It was a wrestle with his manhood — the sight of the girl and the feel of her hair made him frisky. He let the dress fall over his head and put his arms up and tugged it on when it caught. He had to undo some buttons while his head was still covered and took the opportunity to stick the silicone pads into the bust before closing the buttons again. They seemed to be slipping down, so he checked the box and pulled on the bra he found inside. That held the pads nicely and he had to unbutton himself, pull the dress down and put the bra on before he buttoned the dress back up.

He had a glimpse of a pretty girl in a period dress — he was very slim so with the hip and bust padding he looked pretty good — when he heard someone knocking at the door. He was halfway down the hall when the swish of his skirt reminded him that he was currently a very different looking person. Shrugging — and feeling his silicone boobs bounce slightly under his bodice — he went the rest of the way and opened the door. If it was a salesman, hearing his voice ought to scare the poor man away. It was Roy, Darien’s best friend who Darien had invited and then forgotten in the hedonistic pleasure of the feminine clothing.

Roy stood there just as slack jawed as Darien had been, though for a different reason. He’d expected his friend and here was a cute girl standing in a pretty dress and smiling at him. She looked doubtful for a moment and then her eyes danced merrily with mischief and delight. Before Roy could think anything over than ‘wow,’ she’d leaned forward and taken advantage of his still open mouth to kiss him. He only had a second or two to gather his wits and kiss her back before she disengaged, still smiling and dancing. She held up a single finger ‘just one moment’ and then skipped backward and flitted away.

Darien closed the door of his room and then fell down onto the bed laughing as quietly as he could. He kicked his feet and felt his skirt flying around his legs. Rolling over — and again noticing the fluidity on his chest — he looked at the grinning girl in his bedroom mirror. Roy had looked so vulnerable and he didn’t know what had possessed him to kiss his friend, but the reaction was priceless! Digging into his neck — and wishing that his disguise had come with fake nails so he could get a better grip — Darien peeled the mask back up and shed the wig. Undoing the buttons, he let the dress pool at his feet while he carefully removed the bra and forms, then stepped out of the restrictive panties.

He put on a Tshirt and shorts, then joined Roy in the living room. Roy was sitting and staring out into the distance. He looked … very happy. He saw Darien and the words spilled out, “Who was that?!”

Darien bit back a laugh, “That was —“ he saw the earnest look in his friend’s eye and how he was leaning forward, ready to hear the fateful name, Darien choked back his first declaration, ‘It was me, silly!’ “It was — it was my great-aunt’s daughter’s daughter. She’s staying with us while she looks for schools.”

“Where is she? What’s her name?”

An embarrassed laugh was not difficult to produce. “You saw how Lilith’s a little flighty. She’s already gone to go do something somewhere. She’s in and out a lot. She likes to run down to the river and climb rocks and that sort of thing.”

“Oh.” Roy was obviously disappointed. “When will she be back?”

“Hey! Who are you here to visit? Her or me?” Darien replied, trying to sound playfully affronted.

“Listen, that girl of yours is really cute! I wouldn’t mind coming to see her. Did you know she kissed me?”

Darien said, “She must have liked you. Of course, she can’t resist being playful.”

“You’re telling me! Seriously, dude, when can I see her again?”

“She might be out for the rest of the day. Tell you what: I’ll talk to her at dinner tonight and see if I can talk her into going to see you. I’ll let you know tomorrow what she says.”

“Don’t take too long.”

“I promise I’ll call you first thing in the morning.”

“You’d better.”

Darien tried not to think about what he was going to do while he and Roy played video games, had dinner and hung out like they did most days when they weren’t at work. It wasn’t easy since by the time Roy left, he’d secured several more promises from Darien to let him know what Lilith said. When Roy was finally out of the house, Darien sat in his silent living room and thought about Lilith. He liked Roy and if Roy had been interested, he wouldn’t have minded trying something less platonic but Roy wasn’t remotely keen on trying out a homosexual relationship and Darien wasn’t going to push. Darien himself had never liked guys in that way either, but he’d made it clear to Roy that he was willing to try if Roy was. No dice. Maybe that’s why he’d kissed him. It was an excuse to do something he’d never otherwise have permission to try out.

Clearing his mind, Darien tried again. Roy was infatuated with the glimpse of Lilith he’d gotten. The least complicated thing for Darien would be to tell Roy that Lilith was busy and eventually that she’d moved on somewhere else without ever having Roy see her again. The thing was that Darien was too good a friend to let it go at that. Roy would be heartbroken and though he’d recover, Darien would always feel a little guilty at having accidentally teased him that way. It was fine to yank his chain a little, but it looked like he’d gone a little deeper than he’d intended.

A normal person wouldn’t even consider what he was thinking about, Darien thought. On the other hand, would a normal person have put on the wig? And finding that it had a female mask rolled up inside, put on the clothing and then answer the door? No, Darien thought, most people would probably have considered it an odd thing and put it away. Darien went into his bedroom. Maybe if he could see Lilith again in his own reflection, maybe she’d know what to do. As Darien arranged the wig on his head, he knew that was a lie. The Lilith he’d constructed in his head, the girl he thought would have this hair and these clothes would only say one thing. “Go for it!” No, there was a very selfish reason Darien was smoothing the edge against his neck and reaching for the panties. If he gave up now and told Roy that there was no chance of him ever seeing Lilith again, then Darien would have to give up on ever being Lilith again. Darien couldn’t bear having started something like that only to turn his back on it. The maiden running barefoot across the grassy hills, laughing dancing and singing was a total fantasy but it was a fantasy he had a chance to try to live. He looked in the mirror and there was Lilith smiling back at him, her hands clasped over her skirt. She twirled and then left the room in a swirl of skirts. How he was going to manage a romantic relationship with his best friend when he had hairy legs, a masculine voice and no ID didn’t seem to be a very big problem when Lilith’s ridiculously long hair was flowing out behind him and her skirt was playing around his legs.

That night and the next morning was spent trying to find things that might help with the deception. Darien had found a few good things to wear in the box, but there were a lot of items that his current feminine padding wouldn’t work with. The padded panties, for instance, were good for giving him a profile under something loose, but would be very obvious as fakes underneath a tight pair of jeans or a short skirt. Likewise the bra wasn’t quite subtle and a thin material might show all the extras that were added to it. He’d not yet shaved anywhere, so if he was going to meet Roy, he’d have to be covered up like he was before. Lilith’s reputation as an eccentric dresser would continue.

Everything he ordered wouldn’t start arriving until later in the week, so he called Roy and endured his best friend’s excited ramblings about how great Lilith seemed and how grateful Roy was to Darien for convincing her to see him. With that part over with, Darien addressed himself to what Lilith was going to wear. He’d found an interesting pair of leggings which had been covered in a tawny fur that matched the highlights in the wig. He added to that a dress with an evergreen velvet bodice, brass buttons and loose white long sleeves. The lighter green skirt went down to his mid-thigh, a length that he wouldn’t mind trying out with bare legs once he’d taken the hair off of them. Two days earlier he’d have had serious second thoughts about removal of body hair, but now he had a new thing to try out and it required smooth skin so smooth skin he’d have. He’d also have to stop off somewhere to buy some basic accessories. Lilith seemed the type to go mostly natural, but she also felt like she enjoyed the odd interesting addition.

Roy had cleaned his house from top to bottom, put everything on shelves and checked twice. If Lilith was anything like Darien, she’d freak out as soon as she saw a single dust bunny. He was pacing when a light knock on his front door had him racing to answer. He stood breathless looking at the oddly dressed Lilith standing on his doorstep. As the seconds dragged on, she tilted her head, smiled and handed him a note. Her nails were long and pink with little flowers and butterflies painted on them.

‘I have a throat problem right now. It doesn’t hurt but I can’t talk. :3’

“Oh, OK. I understand.” He berated himself for being unable to think of anything else to say, but Lilith didn’t seem to mind. She brushed past him, acting as if he’d invited her in. She’d done her hair in a series of loose braids. He hadn’t noticed the day before just how long her hair was. Roy had to admit that her behavior so far had been the best way to defuse the fact that he’d just stared at her when he answered the door, but the fuzzy leggings and velvet dress were an odd combination. Add that to the fact that they’d spend their first true meeting together with her completely silent and she was by far the … quirkiest girl he’d ever met. Roy had no idea why he was so head-over-heels for her. She was just so adorably odd and exotic in a way that was totally friendly and open. He’d barley spoken a word to Lilith and she hadn’t said a single thing to him, but he was still convinced that she was the woman of his dreams. It made no sense and yet here he was helping her get comfortable in his living room and offering her something to drink. She almost sat on her hair and then seemed to smooth her skirt as an afterthought, making an ‘I’m a ditz’ sort of gesture with her hands and eyes.
Roy couldn’t seem to get any words out at first, but when she quirked her lips — painted with a rather bright shade of pink lip gloss — and gestured to her throat, he got the message. He was going to have to do the talking. So he talked, at first at random and then more about himself. Lilith smiled, nodded and looked interested, though she seemed momentarily distracted when she touched an end table and found that Roy had forgotten to dust it. Roy took heart and continued.
Darien was actually very interested. Roy was telling him about things he’d heard, of course, but also facts about himself and his life that he’d never told Darien. Roy was baring his soul to Lilith and it wasn’t even a first date. It wasn’t exactly the best policy and Darien knew that Roy’s girlfriends in the past hadn’t gotten this kind of treatment. He wondered what was so different about Lilith. As the conversation went even deeper into Roy’s life, Darien began making sympathetic gestures and even patted Roy on the knee a few times. When the monologue petered out, Roy was staring at Darien as if he for the first time realizing how much he’d said. He looked mortified, in fact. Darien still had no idea why he’d kissed Roy the day before, but it was completely intentional when Lilith cupped his face and with an expression of warmth and kindness she kissed his cheek and rubbed his shoulder. Darien was trying to convey that he found it sweet that Roy had trusted her so much.
Wanting to give a little back but still unable to talk, Darien got up and held out a hand to Roy. He allowed her to pull him to his feet but when Lilith walked towards the back door, he didn’t move. Lilith put a little extra swing in her step and when that got his attention and he began to follow, she raised her hand to her mouth in a silent giggle. Miming pulling him along on an invisible leash of sex appeal, Lilith dragged Roy outside. Darien had stopped off to buy a pair of pink sneakers, but kicked them off and continued barefoot down the hill outside his house. Roy was also bereft of footwear, having been dragged out of his house by a mad cousin of his best friend. Roy’s back yard had a gate in back that led to a small nature preserve; the same one that Darien’s backed up to and which he’d had in mind when he told Roy where Lilith had gone the day before.
He’d been down there before, as had Roy and so Roy knew where Lilith was going when she veered off to the left. Roy’d had trouble with it, but Darien’s slimness was born of athleticism and so Lilith had no trouble jumping up and scrambling into Darien’s favorite climbing tree. Roy was very gallantly making sure her hair didn’t get caught in the lower branches, but when Darien saw Roy holding Lilith’s braid, he pulled it out of his grasp and pretended to bring it up in a panic. ‘I’m no Rapunzel!’ Her stern gaze told him. Darien kicked his legs a little, sure that the bark wasn’t doing any good for Lilith’s leggings, then hooked them around the branch and hung upside-down, offering Roy a hand up.

It seemed that acrobatics ran in the family, Roy thought. Lilith seemed as much at home in the tree as Darien. Somehow knowing that Lilith was just as agile as his best friend, Roy grasped her hands — getting jabbed in the palm by her nails — and allowed himself to be hauled to the branch next to her. He almost fell back off when she grabbed his arm excitedly and pointed. A rabbit was grazing nearby. He couldn’t help but grin at her excitement.

When Darien made it clear that Lilith had to get going, Roy dithered but was finally cowed when Lilith leaned in, looking like she was going to kiss him again, only to dance backwards and depart, waving. When he got home, Darien shed the dress and leggings but rather than take off the whole outfit, he changed to a loose skirt and a T-shirt. Lilith now looked a bit more like the person he’d wanted her to be when he’d first envisioned her. Carefree but at heart a home body like he was. He did some cleaning dressed in the feminine clothing — he couldn’t help Lilith being a clean freak like he was, messes just got on his nerves - then made dinner and sat down to watch TV. He still had no clue what he was going to do in the long term, though he was determined to get some better foundation garments so that Lilith could wear whatever she wanted. Maybe if she wasn’t quite as odd, she wouldn’t hold such an attraction for Roy, though Darien doubted it. That ship seemed to have already sailed. Still, he didn’t want Roy to get the idea that Lilith was some sort of sprite. She might be a bit weird with people she’d just met but … he realized what he was thinking and allowed himself voice for the first time since he’d rolled the mask over his face that morning. Lilith would have a pretty laugh once Darien could start practicing a female tone. In the meantime, Darien decided that Lilith wouldn’t see Roy until the new parts came in and she could go shopping. He’d spend the time working on his vocalizing and hopefully when the bits came in, Lilith would be able to go out. If the shop girls down at the mall didn’t hear anything amiss, then she’d go and have her first real date with Roy. As for after that … he’d just have to think of something.

As it turned out, he didn’t have to think quite so hard. The phone rang the next day and when he answered, Roy was on the other end. “Oh, good. I was worried Lilith might answer and I’d have to talk to myself.”

Darien laughed. “Don’t worry. She’s not that bad.”

“I can believe that.” Roy paused. “Look, Darien, can we drop the pretense for a moment?”

“Huh?”

“I know you’re trying to reinvent yourself, but if you’re going to do so as my girlfriend, I wouldn’t mind some input.”

“So you know.”

“What was your first clue?” Roy asked.

Darien sank down onto a chair. “Thank god! My life was looking so complicated.”

“I’m glad to be helpful,” Roy said dryly.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“I thought about it yesterday. Too many things made more sense if you were her than if you weren’t. Now here’s my question: why?”

“I found the stuff in a box and tried it on. I completely forgot I had it on when I answered and when you looked so stunned I … well, I don’t know why I kissed you but the rest was panic.” Darien sighed. “Listen, Roy, I wanted to tell you at first —“

“I realized that when I thought about it.”

“But you were so hopeful. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s cool. Really, man, I’m sort of touched by how much trouble you went to.”

“I was having fun too, to be honest.”

“I gathered that as well.” Roy laughed. “So, dude, do you have any plans?”

“Well, I didn’t want her to be such a spaz, but I had to improvise. I couldn’t let you see a few embarrassing lumps or fuzz. I’ve actually ordered some stuff that’ll let her dress a little more normally.” He paused, hesitant to continue.

“Yes, I’ll go out with you,” Roy said. “You make a pretty girl. Pretty weird. But now that we’ve gotten onto this track, I know you’ve been wanting to for ages. One condition.”

“What?”

“This isn’t going to become a serious relationship. That is, Lilith doesn’t meet my parents and we don’t change our online statuses. It’s a completely casual thing. If we hit it off as a conventional — sort of — couple, then we tell people it’s us dating. We can still go out with you as Lilith, but if this goes anywhere other than a fun fling, it’s us.”

“Sounds great,” Darien said. “I thought you weren’t —“

“I’m not, but you’ve got me over a barrel!” Roy barked. “You’re just too cute as a female version of yourself. Frankly, if you were a girl, I’d have dated you ages ago.”

“It’ll be a few days before I see you as Lilith again. I have a few things to wait on and I need to practice sounding feminine. Unless you want to date a mute.”

“No, I don’t think so. Mind if I help?”

“Come over any time. Do you want me to dress up as Lilith?”

“I’m not sure. I’d be uncomfortable with you sounding like a girl, but also with her sounding like you.”

“I’ll stay me for the time being. I want it to be a pleasant surprise when the new padding comes in and I can see you in something that matches and is from this century.”

“See you in a couple minutes.”

“Bye.”

Roy insisted on seeing everything and even tried the padding on. When Darien helped him into the brown dress, he turned, smiled with Lilith’s face and kissed him. “There, now we’re even.”

“So do you want to try being Lilith?”

Roy frowned and swished the skirt. “No. That’s OK, I just don’t think I’d be comfortable switching out unless you really want me to.”

Darien shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m starting to enjoy being her, and I think I’ll have fun being the female half.”

“You would.” Roy wrinkled Lilith’s nose, then peeled the mask up. “To be honest, I’m also getting a little too turned on in this. I still find her attractive and … ehem.”

“If you need some private time after you take the panties off, I understand.”

Roy turned red. “Yes, well. Before that, I’d just like to say that if you find any more of these, I wouldn’t mind being Lilith’s sassy if slightly more conventional sidekick.”

“I’ll bear that in mind. So you like the whole alternative feel?”

“Oh yes. Very much. Though you’re right that you should dial it back a little. So far she’s been a bit too spontaneous for me. I don’t think I could keep up.”

“Neither could I,” Darien said. “I’m relieved to hear you say that.” He held up the wig and looked slyly at Roy. “Of course, since we’re in the situation we’re in, I hope you won’t be any less generous. I may know you, but you still have to make a good impression on Lilith for your first date. I expect a nice outing and you dressed to impress.”

“Hey, as long as you do the same.” Roy shed the bra and forms.

Darien mocked throwing one at him. “Of course!” He held his head high. “I intend to be a very classy lady to make up for taking you up a tree yesterday.”

“Sounds great.” Roy clapped his hands. “Let’s get started on making you sound presentable so that all that good taste I’m sure you have doesn’t go to waste.”

The rest of the week was spent alternately hanging out, going to work and working on making Lilith someone Darien could be and Roy could date. There were few disagreements, though they had to compromise on a vocalization. Roy preferred a higher pitch while Darien liked a comfortable depth. Darien also was absolute in his insistence on doing clothes shopping independent from Roy. “If I ever find that sidekick outfit for you, you can join me,” Lilith said in her new mezzo-alto. “Until then, it’s not right for you to trail along behind me. We haven’t even started dating.” Of course, it was more because Darien wanted to be more dominant than Roy would be comfortable with and the easiest way for Lilith to get a toe in that door would be to wow Roy with something spectacular he’d never seen before.

When Lilith saw Roy’s expression that Saturday night, she knew she had that toe in and then some. She was wearing a dark blue cocktail dress that made the most of the glue on breast forms she’d spent half an hour blending with her skin tone and which clung to the soft curves of the skin tone shorts that had also taken a long time to blend in properly. Not that she expected Roy would be seeing her new bottom on the first or even third date, but it made Darien feel good to know that the pad he was sitting on looked as much like a cute derriere underneath Lilith’s skirt as it did covered by the shiny fabric. Of course Lilith’s skin was quite smooth and in addition to more conservative fake nails in a light pink, her feet in their prism heeled shoes were painted the same color. One great advantage of her hair being a piece was that it was a lot easier to put it in a waterfall braid, which Darien had done that evening. She offered the arm not currently holding a matching purse to Roy. “Shall we step out?”

Roy finally managed to take a ragged breath. “Let’s.” As opened his car door for her, Roy said, “So this is why you wouldn’t let me shop with you.”

Lilith favored him with a brilliant smile. “Of course. I can’t let you see me in something you’ve seen before this early in the relationship.” She patted his hand. “Plus I get to watch you mouthing like a fish and I find that endearing. You’re not getting away with this being anything other than a proper courtship even if you do know that underneath this ravishing exterior is your friend and partner in crime. As you can see, I even went in for the proper quantity and type of makeup. This is serious.”

Roy closed the door and slid into the driver’s seat. “I believe you.”

The rest of the date was a surreal experience for both of them. Sometimes it felt like a traditional outing between two hopeful members of opposing sexes and other times like another night out between best friends. Roy pulled out the chair for Lilith, but had to remind Darien to mind her hair and skirt. Then there was the conversation, which swung from romantic entendre to talking about the latest video game they were going to play. Neither wanted to go through the whole ‘who are you’ schtick since Darien knew Roy and Roy was quite aware that anything Lilith said would be a lie. Since both of them knew who Lilith really was, when Roy finally half-jokingly did ask, it was too much of a temptation for Darien to make up some outrageous backstory that had both of them almost out of their chairs laughing. Lilith made Roy offer to pay for both their meals as a proper suitor should, then reached into her purse and took out her half of the bill. She tweaked his nose when he complained. “I have to keep you on your toes, now don’t I?”

When they were back in the car, Roy turned to Lilith. “This was a very strange date.”

Lilith giggled. “I don’t think that’s a complaint.”

“Certainly not. I haven’t had this much fun in ages. It’s like dating Darien only with boobs and a face I don’t mind staring at.”

“So pretty much it felt like what it was.”

“Yeah.”

“Wait a minute! What’s wrong with my face?”

“Nothing. It’s just not something I’d hang in a museum is all.”

Lilith whacked him on the leg. “You bugger!”

“Is that any way for a lady to talk?” Roy asked, grinning.

“I’ll talk any way I like!”

They pulled up in front of Roy’s house. “Want to come in with me?”

“Sounds lovely.”

When Roy had made the coffee, he sat down next to Lilith and put his arm around her.

“Fresh. I’m a lady!” She sniffed.

“I don’t see you pushing me away.” Roy slid in close. When Lilith took a sip and then nuzzled his shoulder he said, “I thought you wanted to take this slow.”

“You started it,” she murmured, kissing his cheek.

“I suppose there ought to be perks to this sort of situation,” Roy agreed.

“Mmm,” she moaned, her tongue darting into his mouth. Her eyes closed and Roy was just starting to get into his stride when they opened wide. “Yuck!” Lilith said.

Roy looked around. “What? Do I smell?”

“Your kitchen is a mess!” She exclaimed. “Wait here.” She got up and went into Roy’s kitchen. He heard the sound of running water.

“God, Darien, can’t you turn it off for one night?”

“The hell I can!” Lilith called back, some of Darien’s long suffering annoyance with Roy’s habits creeping into her voice.

Roy got up and found Lilith scrubbing the counter top with a sponge. He put his arms around her middle. “Come on, let’s go relax a little.”

“I’m almost done.”

Roy ran his finger along the braided circlet of hair, “No you’re not. I promise I’ll make the place spotless for next time if you just settle down tonight.”

Lilith turned in his embrace and stroked his cheek. “OK, honey. Just make sure it’s nice and clean for next time.” When Roy turned to go back to the living room, Lilith put a fist in her mouth to stifle the giggles and then surveyed her new catch smugly behind his back. Oh, Roy, Darien thought, I don’t care if you know who I am; I still have you right where I want you. He couldn’t blame Roy, really. Darien had always been the dominant friend. Roy’d had a shining moment when he thought he’d be able to make Lilith into the girl he wanted. He’d gotten that, but now Lilith was going to make him the man Darien could live with.