Chapter 8: A First Date
It was nearly four in the afternoon before he returned to his room at the completion of the busy day of orientation activities. He hurried to open his laptop, set already with the AOL mail page as his startup view on his screen.

Since he had only a few weeks earlier set up an email address for “Karen93” to give his alter ego, Karen, a separate account, he had only a few emails a day, a refreshing change from the hundred or so he seemed to get daily on his original account. Listed second from the top was this message:

From: Gabe [email protected]
Subj: Re: Thank you

Kenny paused a moment, his eagerness to see the reply coupled with a fear that the boy had accepted the proposal of having coffee together, posing all sorts of possible trouble ahead. Finally, he clicked on the message, opening it up:

No, ty. Luved escorting you thru woods. Glad I saved your sweater, since I wouldn’t want you freezing. How about 8 PM at Java Jazz on University tomorrow (Thur)? Let me know. Like to see you, Gabe

Kenny, having been on campus only two days, didn’t know about Java Jazz, but figured it must be a coffee house that was frequented by students. He was sure he could find it.

“Oops, now what have I done?” he asked himself aloud.

He even considered cancelling the date and junking the whole idea, but felt he couldn’t do that, since he had initiated the meeting. Maybe he could just not show up. No, that would be cruel. Besides, he was intrigued with Gabe who obviously found him to be an attractive girl; he did have a sweet smile and really kissable lips.

He responded:

Seeya’ 8 pm thurs at javajazz. Karen

Taking a deep breath, he touched the “Send” button. Even as he hit the button, he felt he was betraying Mark Hamilton, and he felt additional guilt piling upon himself. It was strange, he knew, to feel this way, since wasn’t it Mark who dumped him? Oh, how he yearned to feel Mark’s sweet body cuddled tightly against his.

*****
Late Thursday afternoon, Kenny found a new message from Gabe when he checked his email:

From: Gabe [email protected]
Subj: Re: Thank you

Let me pick you up. You shouldn’t walk alone to JJ. Where you staying?

Gabe

Wasn’t that nice of Gabe to offer, Kenny thought. He couldn’t accept the offer, since Gabe would quickly realize that his “Karen” was living on the boys’ floor of the Kronenberg dorm. Yet, he welcomed the escort, since he knew he was vulnerable walking through a darkening campus appearing to be a fragile, tender girl.

He replied:

Gabe: ty … meet me at bus stop at University and Babcock dr about 7:45. OK? Karen

The campus was so huge and it had a regular bus service, which had stops right in front of his building’s entrance, and would easily deposit him at the well-lit bus shelter on Unviersity Ave. and Babcock Dr.

Gabe’s reply was almost instantaneous:

Deal. Seeya. Can hardly wait. Gabe

Kenny shivered at the reply. The boy was truly eager; he pictured Gabe sitting in his room in his briefs, hand on his penis and imaging the soft, sweet body of Karen in his arms. The boy’s hard-on must be so painful. He knew he’d have to be careful in his meeting with the young man.

*****
What should he wear for his coffee visit with Gabe, he wondered? Kenny had only a few items of girl clothing to choose from, having left much of his meager wardrobe at home. After all, the plan was that he would attend his first year of college in his boy mode, a sensible idea while he got used to studying and adjusting to college life. His female outfits consisted of a pair of white shorts that ended just at the top of his thighs, a mini skirt, two pairs of jeans, two tee-shirts with cap sleeves, a pink polo shirt, several bras and a few panties. These he had buried deep in his closet away from the eyes of Rajesh.

He was able to dress the part of Karen for the date because Rajesh would not be back until after 10 p.m. from his visit with his Aunt Indira who was a professor of biology at the University. Kenny dressed first in shorts and a pink tee shirt with a pastel blue bunny on the front, realizing that maybe was too suggestive. After all, this was merely a coffee date! Yet, as he examined himself in the mirror, he really loved how he looked, so feminine and comely. His own penis hardened as he imagined how Gabe would react to view Kenny’s crossed legs as the two sat close together in the coffee shop.

Kenny finally settled on jeans and a white shirt, since he often knew girls wore a man’s shirts over jeans. It made sense since the evening would be cooling off, and a girl needed to stay warm. He wore a pair of white tennis shoes of the type usually worn by girls. To top it off, he created a high ponytail that bounced as he walked.

“Damn, I am a cutie,” he said to himself. Quickly he chastised himself for being so vane; had he lost all modesty and humility?

Yet, he felt he was being honest with himself. He was a “cutie” and likely a “hottie” as well. The only problem, he realized, was that he now looked like a 15-year-old teen girl, instead of a college co-ed. Oh well, he mused, Gabe will like what he sees.

Just as he was about to leave, his cell phone rang. It was Angela, suggesting he join her at the Student Union so that the two could play some tennis under the lights at the campus courts. “I’ve got a 9 p.m. reservation,” she said. “These are great courts to play on, dear.”

Kenny gave his apologies, saying he had “other plans.”

Angela persisted. “What plans? These reservations are hard to come by.”

“Just plans.”

“What’s with you? You got a girl friend? A boy friend, more likely?

“No, I promised I’d meet someone.”

There was silence on the other end, finally Angela said, “Someone, eh? Who that boy you met the other night walking through the wood? I saw how you flirted with him.”

“Well, yes. I wanted to thank him for being so nice,” he said.

“And I suppose you’re going to be Karen for him, too?”

“That’s how he knows me. Besides, that’s my business, Angela.”

The girl snorted. “Your business, ha! When you started crying over this guy or that Mark guy, who’d you think you’re going to need to tell your sob story to? Good ol’ Angela.”

Kenny realized Angela was feeling hurt. And she was jealous. He began feeling bad, since Angela was such a good friend, so understanding and so loving. She had helped him grow as a young person, introduced him to both political work and community work, not to mention their torrid love-making.

“I love you, Angela,” he said, finally.

The girl’s voice sounded full, as if she was fighting back tears. “You know I love you, Karen. But, just be careful with this boy. You don’t know him and wait ‘til he finds out you still have that cute cock. He could get violent, and you can’t really defend yourself.”

“I know, Angela. And I gotta go, or I’ll miss my bus.”

“OK, dear. I’ll see if I can get a reservation for tennis Friday night. OK?”

“I’d love that, Angela. Bye-bye. Gotta run, dear.”

Kenny pocketed his cell phone in the fanny pack he had attached; he had brought no purse to school. He ran off to the bus stop, his ponytail flapping as he ran in a short-step, hurried girlish way. He heard a few hoots from boys idling around the dorm unit, and finally some boy yelled from an open dorm window. “Slow down, dearie. I’ll give you a ride. I got a hot car.”

He ignored them all, happy to board the bus, where the driver had waited, seeing a cute girl hurrying to the bus. Kenny smiled at the driver, mouthing a “thanks” and getting a slight wink from the young man at the wheel. The driver was obviously a student who drove the bus on a part-time basis.

It was less than ten minutes to the point where he’d meet Gabe, and tension grew within as he considered how he’d handle the meeting. Should he confess his real identity that night? That might be wisest, he thought, since it might stall off pain and suffering later if the two had truly hit it off as a couple. Yet, the prospect of telling him frightened him.

“I’ll play it by ear,” he concluded, as the bus approached the stop. It was the cowardly way out, he knew.

*****
Gabe was waiting at the bus stop, smiling broadly as he saw Kenny step off the bus. Kenny waved in a girlish manner as the boy approached, easily accepting a hug from the large-framed boy. He felt almost dainty in the arms of this boy; though the boy was softer than she remembered Mark, Kenny could feel his strength. He could also smell his fresh soapy scent, coupled with the muskiness of after shave lotion. The boy had obviously prepared for this simple coffee date with as much fuss about his appearance as Kenny had.

The hug was a brief and awkward, and Gabe said: “I was hoping you would make it, Karen.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I said I would.”

He could see Gabe blush a bit before answering, “Well sometimes girls stand you up.”

Kenny nodded, believing that Gabe may have been “stood up” before. He had that happen to him in one of his few efforts to get a date with a girl in high school. Was Gabe as shy around girls as he suddenly appeared, he wondered?

“Well, you’re here,” Gabe said, taking Kenny’s hand and guiding him. “Let’s go, it’s just a couple of blocks away. I hope you don’t mind walking, Karen.”

“No, Gabe. I enjoy the air.”

Kenny’s slender hand felt dwarfed in the large, meaty hand of Gabe; yet, the boy held it gently, as if Gabe was fearful of crushing Kenny’s. The hands of both were moist, almost clammy, indicating the nervousness of both. Kenny wondered why Gabe appeared so tentative and shy; the boy had looked confident enough when they first met.

“You’re so cute, Karen,” Gabe said as they rounded a corner and Java Jazz came into view, along with the sound of a piano, bass and drum set playing a faintly familiar jazz tune.

Kenny giggled softly, mumbling, “Thank you, but this is just something casual I’m wearing.”

“Even cuter than as I remembered you from the other night.”

With his free hand, Kenny reached across to lightly pat the arm of the other boy. In the bright lights of Java Jazz sign, he could see the boy blush with the touch.

They found a table at the perimeter of the outdoor patio, and Gabe rushed to pull a chair out for Kenny. How sweet this boy was, Kenny felt; he saw few other young men using such gentlemanly manners for their girlfriends. He sat down gracefully, brushing his buttocks as if he were smoothing out a skirt before sitting, even though he wore jeans. The trio performed under an awning that stretched out from the coffee house’s front, being positioned on a short riser; they played a quiet form of jazz, but emphasized the beat so that Kenny could see the group had gathered the attention of the patrons, many of whom were keeping time with their fingers, some with their feet and others with a steady bob of the head.

“They’re good, aren’t they,” Kenny said to Gabe.

“Yes, and I’m glad you like them. I was afraid you might not.”

“Oh no, this is perfect. Such a beautiful night, too.”

Kenny sat alone, as Gabe excused himself to run to the counter and get their drinks. He noticed a group of boys seated several tables away turned to look at him; then one boy, a trim, dark-haired boy dressed in a light blue polo shirt and wearing rimless glasses looked directly at Kenny, giving a discreet wave. Kenny gave a slight nod, acknowledging the wave and the boy smiled. Kenny sensed that the words the boy whispered to his friend were, “Look at her. She’s so hot.”

The boy’s smiles turned to scowls as Gabe returned with the drinks, a skinny vanilla latte for Kenny and an espresso for himself. He also had two caramel date bars. The two sipped their drinks, listened to the music and said little. Kenny noticed that Gabe sat rather stiffly, and made no attempt to hold hands or to make contact with Kenny’s person. Kenny wondered about this, having expected the boy’s hands to begin wandering. Gabe even seemed to avoid the possibility of their knees touching, even though that could have happened so innocently.

Was Gabe so shy he would avoid bodily contact? Hadn’t he held hands as they walked from the bus?

Never had Kenny felt so totally girlish. He sat quietly, wishing for a sign of affection from this large, gentle boy. He looked at his own hands and forearms, resting on the table, next to Gabe’s. Kenny’s hand looked tiny and delicate next to the massive arms and wide husky hands of Gabe. His own forearms slender, smooth and with light fuzzy hair, compared to Gabe’s wide, moderately hairy forearms and big hands.

Gabe was watching the trio perform, seemingly paying no attention to Kenny. The situation was puzzling Kenny, who fully expected to be treated as any girl would be on a date with a young man. The boy next to him was stiff and seemingly expressionless. Kenny could not resist any longer; he reached over and placed his left hand on Gabe’s forearm and he could sense the forearm tense up with his touch.

Gabe turned to look at Kenny, his face seeming to come at peace, and a small smile developed. Kenny smiled back in a teasing, flirtatious manner.

Just then the music stopped, and following gentle applause, the leader retold the names of his band mates and announced a “brief break.”

Gabe placed his own left hand upon Kenny’s and the fingers of the two hands played together, an activity that sent shivers through Kenny.

“I’m not much with girls,” Gabe said. The words came out hesitantly and seemingly out of nowhere.

“Oh, why not? You’re such a sweet boy, and so much a gentleman.”

Gabe blushed, his round, pinkish face growing redder in the fading light of the evening.

“My mom always taught me manners,” he said. “I guess it’s kinda corny. Some of my friends laugh at me for that.”

“How cruel!”

“I can’t believe you wanted to see me again. You’re so pretty. I bet you got lots of boyfriends. Why would you wanna see me?”

Kenny looked at the boy, who obviously was struggling with how to interact with a girl. It’s like Gabe had never had a date before.

“Well, for one thing I wanted to thank you for escorting me and finding my sweater,” Kenny said. “That was so kind of you. You didn’t seem so shy then.”

“I did what anyone would do. Besides it was nice to thinking of helping a pretty girl.”

“Not anyone and you’re so sweet about it,” Kenny said, leaning up and kissing Gabe on his lips, a quick, friendly kiss.

“You might be the first girl who’s paid any attention to me, Karen. I never had a real date, not even once in high school.”

Kenny nodded, remembering his own lack of dating throughout high school, realizing that this tall, strong massive boy also had problems in dating girls. Kenny understood his own reasons for being fearful of dating, feeling that girls would not like such an effeminate, slender boy as himself. Gabe, however, had a totally masculine build though probably a bit overweight; he seemed fit and likely had played lineman on his school’s football team. Certainly, Kenny felt, the boy would have found a few girls to be interested in him. Yet, Gabe had no confidence in himself, it was apparent.

“If it’ll make you feel any better, Gabe, I didn’t have a date in high school either,” Kenny said.

“I can’t believe that,” Gabe said. “You’re so pretty. You look so cute tonight, Karen, and I think you’re the prettiest girl in this whole place. Really, I do.”

“Thank you, Gabe. But I was pretty plain in high school and nerdy. Besides, I wasn’t in the in-crowd, you know, the fashionable girls.”

“You, too! So we’ve got something in common.”

They both laughed and Kenny sensed Gabe was growing comfortable as they talked. Soon they exchanged stories about their childhood, their families and their hometowns, with Kenny leaving out one vital piece of information: anatomically he was a boy.

*****
They stayed at the coffee house for nearly two hours, their hands touching. Sometimes, their legs touched under the table, sending a tingle down Kenny’s back and bringing a hardening of his penis. After a while, Kenny removed one of his sandals, freeing him to run his feet on the back of Gabe’s leg, and as he did that he felt Gabe’s grip tighten on his hand. Several times, Kenny sensed the boy squirming as they touched, as if he were near to ejaculating.

Gabe asked to excuse himself to go to the men’s room, leaving Kenny alone again at the table. The boys who had noticed him before were gone, but two other boys looked at him, both smiling, but turning away abruptly when Kenny returned the eye contact. When Gabe returned, Kenny excused himself to go to the Ladies’ room; he had become comfortable using the woman’s facilities during his weeks as Karen at St. Albert’s. He knew no one took him as anything but a pretty young girl.

He sensed eyes followed him as he wound his way through the tables; even in his casual androgynous outfit he realized that he exuded sexy girlishness as he walked. The image excited him, as he pushed open the smooth, shiny door labeled “Women — Senoras” finding himself in a large rest room of beige ceramic tile, accented with curly-cued strips of embossed pinkish-brown tiles. There was a fragrance in the damp atmosphere in the room, which included a changing table for infants and two padded straight chairs. Four stalls in light blue enamel lined one wall, with a row of four sinks imbedded in a long vanity beneath a shinning mirror.

“Wow, this must be the nicest pissoria in this town,” said a young woman who followed Kenny through the door.

“They just remodeled,” a girl about Kenny’s age said, as she stood before the mirror brushing her hair.

“They must make lots of money on these $2.50 cups of coffee,” said the first woman.

Kenny paused as he was about to enter a stall, and quipped: “Don’t we girls deserve it?”

“You’re right about that, sister,” said the first woman.

When he finished, he left the stall to see the woman at the mirror, fixing her lipstick, and Kenny moved in alongside her, removing his own compact from the fanny pack and lipstick, planning to freshen his face. The woman was older than most in the coffee house, tallish with straight black hair and just a hint of graying. She had a tallish, trim body and wore dark shorts and a purplish sleeveless blouse with crá¨me-colored trim. Kenny could see she was athletic, with an almost flat chest and slender but firm muscular legs and arms. She reminded him of his friend, Angela, and wondered if she, too, was a lesbian.

Using the mirror, Kenny could see the woman examining him, and he self-consciously began fumbling with his compact, finding difficult to open for a moment, realizing how awkward he was with the materials.

“Can I help you, honey?” the woman said. Her voice was surprisingly feminine and soft, when he had been expecting a more masculine, harsh sound.

“No, I think I got it, but thank you just the same,” he said, beginning to blush in embarrassment at his awkwardness.

The woman nodded, completed her makeup routine, and as she put the materials away, she looked again at Kenny and asked, again in a soft, pleasant voice: “Is that your boyfriend, dear? He looks like a sweetie.”

Kenny looked at her, wondering why the woman asked. It really wasn’t any of her business, he thought.

“I’m sorry, but he’s looking at you with those mooning eyes, and I just wondered. I guess I’m being a busy body. Sorry, dear.”

“Oh, no. That’s OK,” Kenny said. “Yes, he’s such a gentleman, too. But, no he’s not my boyfriend. This was just for coffee.”

The woman smiled and announced that her name was Bernice, or Bea, prompting Kenny to tell her that his name was Karen.

“What high school do you go to, dear?”

“Oh, I’m outa high school, and I’m a freshman here this year.”

“Oops, there I go again, putting my foot in my mouth again,” the woman said quickly. “But then my husband says I always talk too much. Oh well, sorry, my darling, but you’re so cute. You look about 15.”

Kenny shrugged, realizing that he did look younger than his 18 years, since he had such a fresh, soft undeveloped body.

“That’s OK, Bea. I am told I look so much younger than I am. I am 18 now.”

“Enjoy it while you can dear. Soon you’ll want to look like a teenager.” Bernice laughed at here own joke. “So what are you studying, dear.”

“I’m not sure,” Kenny said. “I’m interested in political science, but also in drama. I did lots of acting in high school and a couple of other places. But it’s so hard to get into the drama school here, it’s so popular.”

“Yes, that it is, and it’s a tough profession to make a living in, dear,” Bernice said.

“Is your husband with you tonight?” Kenny asked, wanting to change the subject.

“Yes, I’m with that tall, balding guy. We’re sitting not far from you. We come here on the nights they play jazz. That group’s pretty good, aren’t they?”
Kenny nodded, agreeing that the jazz group was great and that he might come back in the future, maybe even with Gabe if the two decided to meet again. Bea and Kenny left the restroom together and the Bernice unexpectedly grabbed Kenny’s arm, guiding him toward a table where a man, obviously her husband, sat alone.

“Eric, I want you to meet that lovely young lady we noticed before,” Bernice said. “Karen, meet my better half, Eric Fenstrom.”

“Professor Fenstrom?” Kenny said, shocked at being introduced to one of the most renowned professors on campus. He was a onetime actor who had, as a young man, starred in several movies and on Broadway; now he was chairman of the Theater Department at the University, a department that had begun to win national recognition for pumping out promising directors, film technicians and actors.

“Yes, that’s me, I’m afraid, and I see you’ve already met Bernice,” the man said.

“Oh my,” Kenny said, turning toward the woman, finally realizing who he was talking with. “That means that you’re Bernice Peters.”

“Guilty as charged, dear,” Bernice replied, admitting that she had also been an actor whose names had been on lights on Broadway. Kenny recalled that the couple acted several times in plays together, always winning great reviews; since coming to the University, the couple occasionally acted in several of the Equity companies in Chicago or Milwaukee. “Fenstrom and Peters,” a legendary name in the theater.

Kenny looked over toward Gabe, realizing the boy must be getting restless at the long time he was away from the table. She waved at him, making a sign of returning to him in just a moment. He nodded, apparently satisfied to wait.

“Oh, dear, that nice boy is waiting for you, isn’t he, dear?” Bernice asked.

Kenny nodded, and began to say goodbye to the Fenstroms, but Bernice held his arm.

“Eric,” the woman said, addressing her husband, “This young lady said she might be interested in taking a theater major.”

Eric Fenstrom became alert. “Really, Karen?”

“Well, yes,” Kenny said haltingly. “Right now, of course, I’m in liberal arts and haven’t declared a major, yet. I was going into social work and hoping for a theater minor.”

“Sit down, dear,” Professor Fenstrom said. “Bernice, go over and bring her boyfriend over here and have him join us.”

Kenny was overwhelmed with the commanding nature of the Fenstroms, and felt he had no choice but to sit down as ordered. He watched Bernice Fenstrom walk over to Gabe, and literally drag him over to sit next to Karen at the Fenstrom table.

Professor Fenstrom asked Gabe if it was OK that he detained them for a few minutes, and Gabe, ever the accommodating gentleman nodded in agreement. They asked both Gabe and Kenny if they wanted something more to drink, and both declined.

“First of all, dear,” Eric Fenstrom began. “Tell us in a few brief sentences what kind of theater work you have done.”

Kenny outlined the work he did in high school, both in stage parts where he usually played the parts of children or young teens, due largely to looking so much younger than his real age, and backstage, mainly in costuming. He also told of the Summer Shakespeare Camp at St. Albert’s and his role as “Ophelia.”

“Was that with Stanton McIver?” Fenstrom asked.

“Yes, it was, and I loved acting for him.”

Fenstrom looked at his wife and they both smiled. “Good old Stanton. Does he still act like he’s on stage in a great tragedy all the time?”

Kenny laughed, nodding his head in agreement, quickly adding, “But I learned a lot this summer from him.”

“I’m sure you did, dear! He’s a great actor who never got the credit he deserved, and I’m sure he was a great teacher.”

“He was sir, very much so. Our ‘Hamlet’ was a big hit.”

Kenny could see Gabe was growing uneasy with the discussion, and he looked at the boy, who quickly said, “I never knew that about her.”

“We only really met the other day,” Kenny explained quickly. “We’re just getting to know each other.”

“That’s understandable children,” Fenstrom said.

“Anyway, Karen and Gabe,” Bernice Fenstrom began. “I must confess something to you. We were eyeing Karen here from the minute we saw you, and she really looked so perfect for a play that Eric is producing next spring here on campus. And, dear Karen, I followed you into the ladies’ room just to drag you back here to meet Eric.”

“Bernice, that’s enough now,” the professor said. “Let me explain, Karen, that first off all I’m glad you’ve got some experience and the second I am scouting out all sorts of girls about age 15 for this part. I just had to talk to you.”

“My god,” Gabe said, astonished at what he’d just heard.

“So, Karen,” the professor continued. “Don’t expect anything will come of this meeting. I need to look carefully, and I would like to see you tryout anyway, if not for this play maybe for a possible slot in the theater program, if you’re interested. A lot depends upon your grades and what you want to do, dear.”

“I understand,” Kenny said, his excitement growing, but realizing he’d have turn the offer down. As soon as the Fenstroms found out he was really a boy, he’d be finished.

Professor Fenstrom asked Kenny to provide contact information and he’d keep him in mind when the time came to consider casting for the part.

Kenny thought for a minute, finally said. “I’m not sure, sir. I need to think about this and talk to my mom. Maybe if I’m interested; would it be OK if I let you know then?”

Fenstrom thought a minute, unused to being refused by budding young actresses at invitations to tryouts.

“That’s fine, dear, but don’t wait too long,” he said. “I’m interested in doing some preliminary casting in a few weeks.”

He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a business card with his contact information. He handed it to Kenny.

“We should go,” Kenny said to Gabe. Rising from his seat and turning to the Fenstroms, Kenny did a small curtsey, saying in a sweet voice, “And thank you for being so kind, Professor Fenstrom and Mrs. Fenstrom.”

Eric Fenstrom rose from his seat, saying: “Now dear Karen, don’t forget us, and if you’re serious about acting, you must call me. You must.”

Then the professor took Kenny’s right hand in his own right hand, and leaned down to kiss Kenny’s hand. Kenny blushed and instinctively returned with a second curtsey.

“Aren’t you two just too, too sweet?” snarled Bernice Fenstrom, her tone obviously sarcastic.

Watching this, Gabe rather abruptly took Kenny’s hand and led him through the maze of tables, with Kenny turning back desperately to wave a good bye. Then the two walked out together hand-in-hand, to all observers a lovely young couple in love.

"You're in the dorms next to the lake, Karen?" Gabe asked as they walked slowly. "I thought they were boy dorms."

"They're co-ed now, the girls on the second floor, Gabe," Kenny said, hoping the boy would not want to escort him to his room.

"Oh, isn't this nice being together like this?"

"Gabe, you're so sweet," he said, looking up into the boy's blue eyes.