Natalie - A Journey Into Womanhood

This story is a work of fiction. Any similarities between any persons, living or dead, and any places, actions, dialogue, things, etc., is purely coincidental. This story is being written to show kindness, love, acceptance, understanding and family values for transsexuals and their families. This story involves a young male-to-female (M2F) transsexual. The medical procedures in this story are what all M2F transsexuals go through, either at the time of the complete operation, or even before. There is no actual violence, or sex involved, drug abuse, or child abuse either. My hope in writing this story is that people will see that we are only trying to live a peaceful life, as normal as we can. There is a foot note at the end of this story. Thank you all for reading. Barbara Lynn Terry.

Natalie - A Journey Into Womanhood

Prologue

Hello everyone, my name is Natalie. That wasn't always my name though. This is my story of how I became Natalie. It starts when I was just eleven years old. I have nice sky blue eyes, light brown hair, I'm thin, but not skinny, and I am five foot, six inches tall. In my 30 years, I never grew another inch. I am the same height now, as I was then.

Chapter One

When I was in grade school, I was always the outcast, the one the boys never picked for their teams. I would sit and cry at times, and everyone would call me sissy or worse. The girls found it funny, and just laughed. Where did I fit in? What can I do to show them that I do fit in? One day it came to me, while I was in the sixth grade. If I came to school dressed as a girl, maybe I would be treated like one of the girls, maybe. So, when the bell rang for the end of school for the day, I walked home, listening to the nasty names and jeers from the boys, while the girls laughed and giggled. But I didn't let that bother me. Well, not too much anyway. As I got within a couple of houses away from my own, the boys and girls left, and I went inside. Mom would not be home for quite a while, and my sister was out with her friends. Dad was working, so I had the house to myself.

I went into my sister's room, and got out some of her underthings, a skirt, a blouse, knee hi white double knit socks, and a pair of black Mary Janes. I went into the bathroom and took a nice soothing bubble bath. I rinsed what suds were left, with the shower head, and took a soft terry towel and patted myself down. I found some body powder and sprinkled it all over me, and rubbed it in really good using soft circular motions. When there was no trace of the body powder, I went into the bedroom, and started to get dressed. First I put on a white training bra that my sister had in her drawer, then I put on the underpanties, then a white full slip, I put the blouse on next and then the tartan plaid skirt. Then came the socks and the shoes.

I stood up and walked over to the mirror. There in front of me stood a young girl, with a very short haircut. But there was something missing though. Girls have long hair. Wait! Mom has a wig. So I went into mom's room and got the wig out of her closet. She always kept it in a box. I stood in front of her mirror and put it on. I put it here and there until it looked like the girls at school looked with their hair. Then I looked in mom's full length mirror, and there stood a beautiful young girl. The part of my legs that showed from the hem of the skirt to the top of the knee hi socks, was a good compliment to the entire outfit.

Mom and dad wouldn't be home for another 4 hours, so I had plenty of time. I decided I needed to test this outfit and see if I got called any names. So, I started walking toward the theater, and as I walked I could hear the boys whistling in my direction. One boy, who didn't see my face, wanted to know if I had a boyfriend. I'm in the sixth grade, what do I need a boyfriend for? So I walked some more, and just as I had turned the corner, I saw my sister with her friends. Oh my gosh, if she sees me, I'm one dead girl. Anyway, I needed to test this to the fullest anyway, so here goes nothing.

My sister is 14, and she does a lot of reading. I did kinda look up to her, cause she was very smart. She was the same height as I was, and we did get along even though we argued a lot. I walked toward to where my sister was, and almost got past her, when she said to her friends.

"You know something, I have an outfit just like that at home. Hey! In the plaid skirt. Where did you get that outfit from?" I kept walking away from them, when my sister ran up to me, and turned me around. "I was asking you where you got that out...Nathan?!? What are you doing wearing my clothes?"

"I uhm, well I, oh gee sis, I just was trying to see if I could be accepted as a girl. I mean, I'm no good as a stupid boy. Everyone makes fun of me, calls me names. I just don't seem to fit in anywhere. The guys never pick me for their teams, because they say they don't allow girls. I guess I don't fit in as a girl either. I'm just so stupid."

"Nathan, you are not stupid. You do look pretty though. But mom is so going to kill you for wearing her wig." These girls were not calling me names, they weren't even laughing at me.

"Why aren't you calling me names like the...everyone else does? I'm just no good as a boy, and I'm not a girl. Where do I fit in?"

"Oh Natahn, c'mon, we were just going to go and get a soda. You come with us, and I bet the ones who were calling you names, won't any more."

"Are you sure sis?"

"Yes Nath...uhm Natalie. How do you like that name dear sister?"

"I uhm, gee I must be hearing things. Did you just call me 'dear sister?'"

"Yes dear sister, I did. But you know tho, mom and dad are going to have to know."

"Why? Why can't this just be our secret?"

"Because mom is going to accuse me of wearing her wig. She has a right to know why it got messed up. It isn't messed up bad though, just wind blown."

"All right I guess. But you have to help me tell them though."

"I will sis, I promise."

"Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear."

We walked towards the mall, and the food court entrance. As we went in, I saw some of my classmates there, laughing and having a good time. We went to the Burger King stand, and ordered our sodas, and went to sit down. Of course wouldn't you know it though, Tommy Mason, the school bully, decided to pay us a visit. He had a thing for my sister, and even though she turned him down dozens of times, he kept asking her for a date. This time, it was a little different.

"Hey Jill, babes, who's your new friend?" Tommy asked as he looked at me. Then a deep thought creased his forehead, the only time he showed any signs of thinking, then he said to me. "I think I've seen you at school. What's your name, sweets?"

I looked him dead in the eye and said, "I am not your sweets creep, my name is Natalie, and I am Jill's sister."

"I didn't know Jill had a sister, just a bro..." that's when it hit thim. He bent over a little closer and said, "Nate is that you? Hey, I mean if this is the real you, you look very pretty.'

"Tommy," I said looking at him, "from now on this is going to be the real me. You guys never picked me for any of your teams, and you always call me nasty names, the girls always thought it was so funny. I need to fit in somewhere."

"Yeah, well I hope you can. But you do look pretty though. See ya around Natalie."

I looked at Jill and said with surprise in my voice, "What's with him? Since when did he ever have a conscience?"

"My dear sister, you don't have the girl feelings we have. He actually likes you. And I bet, when you go to school tomorrow, there won't be any name calling, or teasing."

"How do you know Jill? I mean, he's the one who started all those nasty names and teasings."

"I bet they stopped as of a few moments ago. You were looking at him with anger, and we were watching how he looked at you. Girls can tell when a guy likes them, or one of their friends, or sisters. What we saw was a guy who likes you, a guy who just came down off of his high horse."

"All right Jill, I guess maybe you're right. I hope."

Then we just sat there and drank our sodas, and talked about how we were going to tell mom and dad of my needing to be the girl I have always been. I kept sneaking looks over at Tommy, who was doing the same to me. Of course we quickly looked away, when we saw the other was looking. But my sister and her friends all knew what I was doing, and what Tommy was doing. But they never said a word.

"So it's settled then. Natalie, we will get home just about the same time as mom and dad. Ginger and Sue will be there too."

"All right sis. Thanks."

Ginger Schultz was a typical brunette, with medium brown hair and natural highlights. She had a nice figure, but not one to die for. Her complexion was flawless, and she wore the best outfits she could find on her allowance. The clothes her parents bought, she rarely wore. Sue Adams was a redhead, well actually her hair was light auburn, and the same height as the rest of us. Oh! I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you about me, a little more. I am five foot, six inches tall, and the girls, well a little shorter, but not by much. So we just say we're the same height. As we sat there some more after our sodas were all gone, we just talked and looked over at the boys. I wanted another excuse to look at Tommy, who was finding excuses to look at me.

We decided we were finished, I finger waved at Tommy who waved back. I smiled and followed the girls out of the mall. The dead heat was coming up. Mom would probably be okay with this, but dad would blow a gasket. I know he will. But Jill promised to help, and she always kept her word.

"Natalie," Jill said as we walked to the car. "When we get home, I want you to go right to mom and dad, and let them see you. Then go up to daddy and put your arms around his neck and give him a big hug, and tell him you love him. Give mom a hug too, and whisper in her ear, so daddy can't hear you, that your name is Natalie. We will be right by the door where they are, and when you have given mom a hug, then we will come in, and I will do the same. Now daddy's going to be confused for a bit and reeling. So he isn't going to connect this right away, with this being the real you. Understand sis?"

"Yes Jill, I understand," I said with a smile. We got into the car, and all of a sudden Jill got an idea, and we headed back to the mall. When we went in, we went right to the piercing pagoda, and Jill was looking at some very nice hoops. The lady came over and asked which one was getting her ears pierced, and the other three said, pointing to me, "she is." The lady took me to a chair, and I sat down.

"What's your name, honey?"

"Natalie."

"Very pretty name." Then she placed this thing on my ear, I heard a pip, and the stud was in. Then the same with the other ear. Jill bought the hoops for me, for when my ear holes healed up. Then we headed for the car.

"So okay then, your ears are permanently pierced now, Natalie. Tonight, I will show you how to pluck your eyebrows."

"Okay Jill. Uhm, what about makeup?"

"Oh yes, makeup. Well, that is really simpler than plucking your eyebrows."

"Jill, why are you helping me? I mean we have always fought, and you always tried to get me in trouble."

"That was because you were my jerk of a brother, and now you are my sister. Today is going to be the no turning back day. Let me ask you something tho, Natalie. Do you really, really, want to be a girl, you know, physically? I mean the whole operation bit and everything?" I told you she was smart and did a lot of reading.

"Oh yes, Jill. More than anything in the world."

"Good! Then we will help you be the girl you have always been."

Ginger and Sue both agreed that, since I was brave enough to venture outside dressed as a girl, they would help me be the girl I need to be.

Chapter Two - Telling Mom

We pulled into the driveway of our house, and mom's car was already there. I had such a nervous feeling inside. I felt like, what if mom doesn't go for this? What if she tells me to go and change? Would she yell at me? Or, would she hug me, and welcome me as her daughter? All of these thoughts were going through my mind, as we walked into the house.

"Mom?" Jill called out in a questioning voice.

"In the den honey," mom answered.

We went into the den, where mom was sitting at her desk, doing something for work. She looked up, as all four of us walked in.

"Hi girls. Whose your friend?"

"Mom," Jill said looking at me. "I want you to meet my sister, Natalie. Doesn't she look very pretty, mom?"

Mom just sat there because what she just heard, didn't register at first.

"Your sister Jill? That's nice to have friends that can be your sis...Nathan?!? Is that you?"

"Yes mother, but the name is Natalie now, and I am hoping that I can be Natalie forever."

Mom got up from her chair, and gave me the biggest hug you could imagine. She then looked me over, all around and head to toe.

"My, I must say, you do look very pretty Natalie. But tell me something though. How long have you wanted to be a girl?"

"Forever, Mom, forever."

"But you never dressed in my clothes, or your sister's clothes that I know of."

"Yes I have mother, for a long time. Today I wanted to see just how I would be accepted as a girl. So I got dressed like this and went out. Jill and her friends didn't recognize me at first. But then we got to talking. Jill, Ginger and Sue said they will help me in makeup, dressing like I should, and giving me lessons on how to really act."

"Ok sweetie, if this is what you want, then I won't stop you. Your father isn't home yet, so when he does get home, let me talk to him. I am going to enjoy having two daughters. We are going to have such fun. But Natalie, I want you to understand, you will have to see a therapist though. Just to make sure that you are not mentally ill. Is that okay with you, dear?"

"Yes mother, it is."

"Good. Then when your father gets home, you girls go to Jill's room, and let me talk to him first. Okay?"

"Yes mother," I said with a big smile. I gave her a big hug and Jill did the same, then we went to Jill's room.

While we were in my sister's room, we all sat around, and talked about things I should know about being a girl in public. We talked about mom not saying anything about my wearing her wig, or my sister's clothes. Jill didn't yell at me for wearing her clothes either.

"Natalie, come here and I will show you how to pluck your eyebrows. You start from the bottom of the brow until you get the desired feminine arch you want. Girls pluck their brows the same way, but some are thin arches, others are just so the straggly hairs are gone, sorta like mine. Okay, starting from the nose outward, and the bottom of the brow, pluck a few hairs out, and let me see how you do."

"All right, sis."

I took the tweezers, and began plucking my eyebrows. I started from the nose outward, and from the bottom of the brow. Five minutes later, one eyebrow was finished. Then I started on the other one. Both brows, and the hair between them was finished in fifteen minutes. Jill looked at me when I was done, and plucked one hair out that I missed.

"You did that just like a girl, Natalie. I'm so going to love having a sister. Okay, now for a little makeup. Your skin tone is light, and you should use natural colors to enhance your beauty. The first thing you do sis, is wash your face very good, to clean out the pores. Then you apply a little liquid foundation, and brush some powder over that. Go ahead sis, show me how you would put makeup on."

I went into the bathroom and washed my face. I went back into Jill's room, and sat down at her vanity. I took her eyeshadow, without even asking, and applied two colors, which I blended together, then I took the eyeliner pencil, and put the eyeliner on both the upper lid just above the eyelashes, and on the bottom lid too. I took the liquid foundation and I put it here and there all over my face in little dots first. Then I took a makeup sponge and blended the foundation in. Then I took a powder brush, and brushed the powder on. Then I took her mascara, and applied that like I had been doing this all of my life. I then used a soft pink lipstick, and I was finished.

"Natalie, you have been wearing makeup for a while. Haven't you?"

"Yes sis. Everytime I was home alone, I experimented."

"Well, I can see that your decision to be my sister, is the right one. You're a natural for a girl."

"Thanks sis. I hear mom calling me. I think dad's home."

"Okay, let's all go down together then."

We went downstairs, and into the den. Mom and dad were sitting there, talking as we walked in.

"Hi daddy," I said with a beaming smile, while giving him a big hug.

"Hi daddy," Jill said too and giving daddy a big hug.

"Hello. I guess I'm outnumbered three to one, on having two daughters. Your mother has told me you look great. But I see four young ladies here. Where is Natalie?"

"Daddy I am right here. As if you didn't know." We all laughed about that, and then daddy said.

"I'm not sure I understand, and I am a little disappointed that my son has disappeared. I really wish I would have had time to say goodbye to him, before he left."

"Oh daddy, I have always been Natalie. That boy, Nathan, he never existed anyway, except on official papers. Daddy, I have been Natalie all of my life."

"Natalie?" Mom asked, looking at me. "Did the girls help you with your eyebrows, and makeup?"

"Well Jill explained how to do the eyebrows, but I did everything myself." She got up and gave me a hug.

"Welcome home, Natalie," my mother said looking at my makeup, and not believing I did it myself.

"Daddy, I don't want you to think that I have deserted you though. I mean, wouldn't you rather I live a happy life, instead of one that everyone thinks I should live? If I lived the life everyone expected me to, I would be miserable all of my life. And daddy, I need to be happy."

"This is going to take some getting used to. I mean, I had a son this morning, what happened to him?"

"He became the person he really has been all along. Daddy, I'm still the same inside. I just need to be who I am and hopefully, you can love me as Natalie, as you did that boy, who was only pretending to be a boy."

"I don't understand this. What do you mean, pretending to be a boy?"

"Daddy, I never liked wearing boy clothes. They're heavy, scratchy, and very stiff. I never liked being called a he, or young man. I never liked trying to play sports, and no one ever picked me for any of their teams anyway. The boys just said they don't play with girls. I never liked doing a lot of the things you thought I should do. Daddy, I'm a girl, and girls need to be soft, and pretty. We should be dressed the way I am right now, or as cute as we can. Daddy, I love you, but you have to know that this is the real me, the person you see now, is who I have always been."

"Well, I can't say as I agree with you, but I do want you to be happy though. I mean if this is the real you, then I guess I'll get used to it in time."

Chapter Three - Natalie Goes To School

We sat down to dinner, and daddy just kept silent for a long while. Then he looked at me, and just shook his head. He mumbled something no one could hear, but we just let it go. Mom started the talk by asking us what we did while we were out. Jill was the first to answer that question.

"Well, when we first saw Natalie walking, we told her we needed to get a soda, and since the mall was right there, that's where we went. Then we stopped, and I got my sister a present. I had her get her ears pierced."

"Yes," my mother said, looking at the studs in my ears. "They look very pretty dear."

"Thank you, mom," I said with a smile, and then I looked at daddy who was just shaking his head.

"Natalie dear, what are you wearing for school tomorrow?"

"I have an outfit she can wear mom," Jill said looking at me with a smile.

I returned the smile, and thought that Jill certainly is going out of her way to help. It is still basically warm out to wear a dress, or skirt outfit. I will have to talk to Jill about it when dinner is over.

"You know Natalie, I am going to have to see about you seeing a therapist. This is just so we can get you started on hormones right away."

"Okay mom. I would rather see a woman therapist tho, if I can."

"Yes, I think that would be best too. I'll call the hotline and see who they recommend for something like this."

Dinner was over, and mom, Jill and I, cleaned off the table and took all of the dishes and leftovers in the kitchen. I went back into the dining room and cleaned off the table, which daddy was still sitting at. I said excuse me and he lifted his paper so I could clean where he spilled maybe a whole cup of coffee. With the table clean, I went back into the kitchen to help wash the dishes. I washed, and Jill and mom put them away.

"Mom, do you think you could teach me how to cook? I mean I'd just love to learn to cook so that maybe someday my boyfriend, fiance or husband, can taste what I cook."

"Yeah, and not only food you'd be cooking either sister," my sister said jokingly. I flicked a little water her way, and we all giggled.

"Yes honey, I think that would be a good idea. Cooking can be a rewarding thing too."

"Thanks mom. I'm also going to see if I can get my gym class switched for home ec too."

"You know dear, maybe I can help there. I think home ec would do you a world of good."

"Thanks mom," I said, giving her a hug.

As we finished the last dish, we wiped out the sink and hung the wash cloth and towel so they could dry. They'd have to go in the laundry later. I knew how to wash clothes, separate them, and how much detergent to use. We used a detergent that had a bleach alternative in it, and that made the colors of the clothes stand out brighter. Then Jill told me to come to her room, so we could find an outfit for me to wear to school tomorrow. I was happy that my family at least accepted me for being Natalie, and now the school will have to too. When I see whatever therapist mom makes an appointmnet for me for, I will ask her if she'll make a recommendation to the children's court to get my name and gender changed. That way I can go through school as the girl I have always been.

In Jill's room, there were clothes she actually never wore. She told me take off the skirt and blouse I was wearing, and she pulled out a really nice, but simple cream colored dress. She told me to put it on. After Jill helped me zip up the back, she told me to look in the full length mirror on the inside of her closet door.

"Oh wow sis, is that really me?"

"Yes Natalie. That is my sister and she is very pretty."

"Thanks Jill," I said giving her a hug.

I took the dress and another change of undergarments and went to my room. I hung the dress across one corner of my dresser mirror. I went into the bathroom to take my shower, and wash my hair. I used the Dove shampoo and conditioner my mother bought, I rinsed off, and stepped out of the shower, turning it off. I patted down with a soft terry towel, hung up the towel and put lotion and powder on me, and then got into my nightgown that Jill let me have. Tomorrow Natalie goes to school for the first time. I shouldn't have any trouble, hopefully, but just in case, I'm ready for it. I got into bed and fell asleep almost immediately. I dreamed about my first day of school and meeting a boy who would like me for me. But I hate going to bed, and seemingly waking up right away. The alarm went off, and I swung both legs out of bed, and went into the bathroom and did my toiletries, and then took another shower, putting on my sister's bathing cap, so my hair wouldn't get wet.

I went in my room, and got into the dress and underclothes Jill let me have. I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw that I needed a little makeup, so I went to Jill for a little help. I knocked on her door, and she told me to come in.

"Jill, may I borrow some makeup, please?"

"Yes Natalie, you may. That dress looks very good on you sis. You can keep that and the skirt outfit you wore yesterday. They are my gifts to my sister."

"Thanks sis, I really appreciate this very much."

I sat down and took the liquid foundation and blended it into my skin, using an upwards motion with the makeup sponge. I then took the powder, and brushed that over the foundation in upward sweeps. Then I looked at my eyes, and they needed a little mascara. Eye makeup? I don't think mom would let me wear eye shadow or eye liner yet, even though I wore some last night. But after applying the mascara, I looked at myself again, and even Jill agreed, I was ready for school.

We went downstairs, and I ate a piece of jelly toast with a glass of milk, and mom drove us to school. She parked the car by the front door, and we got out and walked to the building, then mom drove away. As we were walking, I was getting strange looks from the boys. The girls all smiled and said I was pretty. As I got to my locker and opened it, I was cornered by three boys. These boys were Tommy Mason's friends.

"Hey guys, I told ya she was a girl. That's why we never picked her for playing on our teams. Girls can't take the rough play." Mark Allen said with a smirk.

"Yeah, that's why they call them the weaker sex." Jimmy Collander remarked.

"Hey guys, maybe she'd like to go to the dance in two weeks." Bobby Holland added.

Mark, Jimmy and Bobby looked like they just stepped out of the 1950's. They all had their hair combed like Fonzie, and wore denim jeans, white tee shirts, and black leather jackets, along with black motorcycle boots. They were taller than me by a few inches, so I had no choice but to stand there and take what they dished out. I think Tommy materialized from out of nowhere, when he appreared behind Bobby.

"Guys, why are you picking on Natalie? Did she say something to you?"

All three of them started talking at once. Tommy put his hand up, and said to all three of them.

"I want it understood that Natalie is a friend of mine. I will do whatever I can to protect her from bullies. You guys understand?"

They all nodded their heads and left. Tommy stayed for a bit, while I got my books out of my locker.

"I told you that you were pretty. You make a fine looking girl, Natalie."

"Thanks Tommy, for everything. I have to get to class or I'll be late."

"We're in the same classes Natalie, let me carry your books." I gave him my books, and just smiled. Tommy might be a bully, but he has been sweet to me twice now. As we entered the classroom door, no one said anything except the teacher.

"All right, take your seats."

I sat down and the teacher took roll call. When she got to my name she did a double take on it. "Nath...uhm Natalie Crane?"

"Here ma'am," I said to the cheers and jeers of the class.

"Well Natalie, I must say that dress becomes you. But I want to know something though. Is this an experiemnt in crossdressing, Natalie?"

"No ma'am," I said getting up from my desk. "May I say something to the class, ma'am? Please?"

"Yes Natalie, you may."

I walked to the front of the class, and stood with my hands folded in front of me, and told the class who I am, and why.

"My name is Natalie Ellen Crane. I am eleven years old, and I have had these feelings of being a girl ever since I can remember. I don't now why I have these feelings, but I do and they have been a big part of me forever. My mom is going to make an appointment for me to see a therapist, to make sure I am not mentallly ill. You see I am not a boy, I don't like being called a boy, and it does hurt when people call me names, or beat me up because I am different. I am just a normal girl trying to fit in, in a body that doesn't fit. If I could right now today, have the operation to make me the girl physically, like I am inside, I would, and then I would be a whole person."

"I don't understand something then," Bobby said. "We always thought you were just gay. We had no idea that you really wanted to be a girl."

"Bobby, I don't want to be a girl," I said as I watched the confused look on his face. "I am a girl. You can't want to be someone that you already are. Bobby if someone asked you why do want to be a boy, you'd tell them you are a boy. Right?"

"Uh, yeah I guess so."

"So you see, you can't want to be someone you already are. I'm a girl," I said pointing to my heart. "When we are someone other than what our bodies are, we have to be that person that is inside each and every one of us. If we are not that person, then we are very sad, and live sad lives. I want to be happy, I want to be me, I need to be the girl on the outside that I am on the inside. Does anyone have any questions?"

No one raised their hands, so the teacher, Miss Hawkins, told me to take my seat. Miss Hawkins looked like she was just out of college. She had really nice blonde hair, and a nice figure. She always smiled, and never said anything negative about anyone. I went and sat down, and the girls around me told me I was very brave for doing what I did. I just looked at them and smiled. Since everyone of us were in the same classes all day long, except for the gym classes, there was no need to repeat it throughout the day. As the final bell rang for the end of the school day, we all got up and went to our lockers. I put away the books I didn't need and only took the ones I had homework for. Tommy I think is a magician, because he appeared out of nowhere again.

"Natalie, those books look heavy. Let me carry them for you." I gave Tommy my books, and just smiled at him, as we walked out of school, and toward my house. I couldn't help but admire Tommy, because before he saw me at the mall, he always picked on me and called me names along with his friends. Now he was carrying my books? And, more than once in one day too? Oh My Gawd!

"Natalie," Tommy said looking at me, without breaking his stride. "I love you the way you are now. You are very pretty for a girl, and you put some of these girls to shame too. I uhm, I uhm need to ask you something Natalie. Will you be my girlfriend?"

I think I'm dreaming. There are many natural girls in school, but he wants to be MY boyfriend? Wow! Somebody pinch me, because Tommy is a hunk to die for. I mean yeah, he has a normal male ego, but he is also sweet too when it comes to people he really likes. I couldn't help but ponder on his question, which I didn't answer right away. When we got to my house, he was ready to leave.

"Uhm Tommy, would you like to come in, please?"

"Uhm, yeah okay. I'd like that."

We went inside and he carried my books in, and I told him to set them on the coffee table, which he did, and then he sat down on the couch.

"Mom???"

"In the kitchen dear."

"I have someone I'd like you to meet." Mom came into the living room, and looked at Tommy, and then at me.

"Whose your friend, Natalie?"

"Mom, this is Tommy Mason. He carried my books for me today and on the way home too. He wants me to be his girlfriend."

"Did you tell him that you're not a girl yet. I mean, physically?"

"Yes mom, he does know, but he said he still wants to be my boyfriend. Is it okay mom?"

"Well Natalie, I think we should discuss this over dinner. Tommy can you stay for dinner?"

"Yes, if I call my mom and ask her."

"All right dear, the phone is over there." Tommy called his mother.

"Mom," Tommy said into the phone. "I met this friend at school today and I want to know if I can have dinner at her house. Her mom seems really cool, and they want to discuss some things at dinner. Oh? You do? Wait a second mom. My mother wants to know if she can come and have dinner with us too."

"Why yes, Tommy. That would be a great idea."

"Mom, Natalie's mom said it would be okay. Okay mom, I'll tell them, bye for now. My mother said she will be right over. I told her about Natalie yesterday when I met her at the mall. My mother wants to meet you Natalie. She is very interested in what I told her about you, and it was nothing bad either."

"Tommy Mason, you jerk, you're just a big softie."

"Yes I am Natalie, but don't tell everyone tho."

"Oh, your secret is safe with me stud."

"Stud?" My mother asked questioningly.

"MOM!!!!! Look at him. He's a stud if I ever seen one. And, he has a decent attitude too, at least towards me."

"Yes he does dear. Tommy I...." Mom was interrupted by a knock on the front door.

I answered the door, and there was a lady there. "Yes ma'am, may I help you?"

"Why yes, young lady, you can. I'm Tommy's mother, and you must be Natalie. It is so nice to meet you dear."

"It is nice to meet you too ma'am."

I opened the door wider. "Won't you please come in. Everyone is in the living room, straight ahead."

"Thank you, and you have such decent manners too. How old are you, Natalie?"

"I'm eleven ma'am."

"Oh my, as old as that huh. I'll trade you ages." We both giggled, and then we were in the living room.

"Mom," Tommy said getting up. "This is Natalie Crane, and her mother. Her father isn't home yet, and her sister Jill is in her room."

"Well, I am glad to meet you all. My name is Brenda," she said offering her hand to my mother.

"And I am Nancy. When Natalie was real little she used to call me Nana, cause she couldn't say Nancy."

"I bet that was so cute." Of course I blushed but girls are allowed to do that.

"Oh yes it was, and here she is now, eleven years old, and already has a boyfriend. I swear Brenda, girls start getting boyfriends earlier and ealier these days."

"Isn't it the truth, Nancy. I couldn't have a boyfriend til I was at least fourteen and couldn't date without a chaperone until I was sixteen."

"Oh wait, I think I hear my husband coming in. Yes, there he is. David, we have company."

"Company hey. That's good. Hello, I'm David Crane," he said extending his hand to Tommy.

"Hello sir, it is nice to meet you. I'm Tommy Mason sir, and this is my mother."

"Brenda," she said offering her hand to my father.

"So, what is the occasion of having company tonight, dear?"

"Tommy and his mother are staying for dinner David, so we can discuss something of importance for both our youngest daughter, and Tommy."

"Ok, sounds good to me. I'll go and wash up. I'll be right back."

"Okay dear, dinner is ready whenever you are. Natalie will you get Jill please, and tell her we are eating as soon as your father gets down here."

"Yes mother."

I went to Jill's room and knocked on her door. When she said come in, I went in and told her about dinner.

"And Tommy and his mother are here too. They're staying for dinner."

"See, I told you he likes you. He was carrying your books all over school today." She smiled and gave me a big hug. "It is going to be so nice having a sister to talk to about boys, and outfits, and makeup. C'mon little sister, let's go down and have dinner."

We went downstairs and into the dining room. Everyone was just getting to their seats, as we walked in. Daddy said grace, and then we all sat down.

"Dear?" Mom said inquiringly to my daddy. "We need to talk about whether or not, Natalie is too young to have a boyfriend. Tommy asked her today if she would be his girlfriend on the way home from school. What do you think, dear?"

"Well, I have to ask Tommy what he means by girlfriend," my daddy said, matter of factly.

"Sir," Tommy started to say. "I mean by wanting Natalie for my girlfriend is, that I like her for a friend. And since she is a girl, she will be my girlfriend. I don't mean like going on dates or anything like that, except I'd like to buy her a soda, and be with her. She is a very pretty, and a very nice girl, sir. If Natalie and I were just friends, and we could study together, walk together, sit and watch television together, be invited to each other's house for dinners, then that's what I mean by girlfriend, sir."

"Mrs. Mason, uhm Brenda, you have a very nice mannered son. I would only say that because of their ages, that they would have to be chaperoned at all times, when they are together. I want my daughter to stay nicely mannered as well, just like you would your son. I am concerned tho, that if they were not chaperoned, they could get into some kind of mischief, all children their age are apt to get into. What do you think, Brenda?"

"I think you're right, Mr. Crane. Children their age should be chaperoned. Tommy has gotten into mischief before, but that was with his rowdy friends. When I came to this house, Natalie answered the door, and she was very well mannered too, I must say. You have a very well mannered and beautiful daughter in Natalie, David. And I too would like these young people to stay the way they are. Tommy, what do you think?"

"Mom, Mr. and Mrs. Crane, Natalie, Jill, I want the same things too. I know that Natalie and I are the same age, but when I look at Natalie, I see someone so pure and honest, that to be friends with her is going to be the greatest."

"Young man," my daddy said looking at Tommy with a serious expression. "I'm so glad that you feel that way. In that case, if it is all right with Natalie's mother, I will have no objection to the two of you being friends."

"I don't either dear," my mother also said, looking at me with a smile. "But young lady, we need to have a talk about what is proper behavior for a girl, when she is with a boy."

"Yes mother."

"I must say that you two have such nice children. Natalie, may I speak with you in private dear?"

"Yes Mrs. Mason, you may."

We went into the my mother's den, and then Tommy's mother started by saying.

"Young lady, Tommy tells me that you aren't all girl yet. That is fine with me though. Do you know what they call a person like you, dear?"

"No ma'am. I just need to be the girl on the outside like I have always been on the inside."

"And you will make a fine girl too, Natalie. They call people like you transsexual. That means, you feel that you were born in the wrong body. You feel like you should have been born a girl. Is that right, dear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good, I know that your mother and sister will help you be a proper girl. I'm glad my Tommy met you, and wants to be your friend. He also told me that if things work out, that he hopes to be your boyfriend forever."

"Really, Mrs. Mason? That would be so cool."

"You even talk like a girl. I am glad that I have met you."

"And I am glad that I have met you too, Mrs. Mason."

We went back into the dining room, and everyone was like okay, tell us what you two talked about. Anyway, I told mom and everyone we just talked about girl things, and they all let it go at that.

My father then looked really serious, when he said to me and Tommy.

"You two young people know that you're not going to be allowed out after dark by yourselves, don't you? I mean it is for your own safety right now. I don't mind Natalie going over by Tommy's to watch television, or study, or for dinners, but if it is after dark, Natalie is to call home and I, or her mother, will come and pick her up. Is that understood, young lady?"

"Yes daddy. And if Mrs. Mason brings me home, I'll call to let you know."

"Very good." Dinner was over, and mom, Jill and I started to clean off the table. Tommy's mother helpd too, while daddy and Tommy went into the living room for a talk. I separated the dishes, and ran the water in the sink with detergent.

"Sis, you washed yesterday, I'll wash today." Jill said with a beaming smile. That's when it first hit me, that Jill was serious about being sisters.

"Do you always switch off washing dishes, dear?" Tommy's mom asked.

"Yes we do, Mrs. Mason. We're a family, and a family that works together, has love for each other, and is there for each other, is a family that stays together."

"Why Jill that is a really nice way to look at it. And I believe that too. I know the kids at school regarded Tommy as a bully, but really, he is a sweet boy, and he helps me too, with things."

That was the first time I had ever heard a kind word about Tommy from someone other than me. The dishes were finished, so we all went into the living room. My mother looked over at daddy.

"So? What were you two in here talking about so long?"

"Oh nothing important dear. I just told Tommy that he better treat my daughter with respect or I'd box his ears."

"DADDY!!!!!!" I screached, running over to Tommy and giving him a hug. "He's the only boy who has shown me any kindness. Please don't scare him away."

"All right punkin', I won't."

Chapter 4 - Tommy And Natalie

Why is it that father's can be so rude at times? I want Tommy to stay and be my friend. He has always shown me the cruel side of him, except in the last couple of days, he has been so sweet and caring. Tommy is the kind of boy that you can be friends with, if you show him just how brave you really are. The reason he likes me, I suspect, is because he is either gay, or something. I just don't know. Or maybe he is tired of all the snobs hanging on him. Tommy is not a snob, he is decent and has a caring heart.

"Tommy? Don't mind my daddy, he just wants me to be safe."

"I know, Natalie. But he didn't yell or anything like that. He just wanted to make sure I understood how to behave around a lady."

"He, uhm, he called me a lady?"

"Yes he did," and we all giggled a little at that.

I went over to daddy and gave him a hug. "Thanks daddy, for that wonderful compliment."

"It's okay punkin'. I like having two daughters. The way you, your mother and Jill get along so well, I guess I will accept you for who you are, no matter if you're a boy or a girl. I still love you, punkin'"

"Thanks daddy, you're the best daddy in the whole world." I gave him another hug

Tommy's mother said it was time for them to go, and I gave Tommy a hug and his mom too. "Mrs. Mason, may Tommy come over in the morning, and we can walk to school together?"

"Why yes dear, that is a very good idea. Tommy what do you think? Natalie's house is right on the way."

"Yes mom, I would like that."

I looked at Jill, and then at mom, and I asked them if that would be okay.

"Yes Natalie, I think it would be fine. With the three of you walking together, I won't worry so much."

"Natalie, tomorrow is Friday, and this weekend sis, we're going shopping for some clothes for you. But for tomorrow, I have another outfit you can wear. Okay?"

"Okay Jill, and thanks a lot for being my sister." I gave her the biggest hug I could manage, and then I walked Tommy and his mom to the door. I gave Tommy one more hug and watched them as they left in their car.

When they drove away, I went back into the living room. Mom and Jill were the only ones there. "Where's daddy?"

"He had some things to do, honey. And we need to talk, dear."

"Ok mom."

"Natalie, I want you to understand, that having a boyfriend at your age, can be a very good thing, or it can be a very bad thing. Jill and I are going to make sure you understand what is proper behavior for a girl, when she is with a boy."

"Ok mom."

"You know I was very proud of you today. You showed very good feminine manners. You were respectable and very respectful. Tommy's mother told me that she likes you, and that she knows your not strictly a physical girl. Not yet, anyway. Jill tells me that if you could, you'd like to have the operation to become a physical girl."

"Yes mother, I would. I never liked being a boy anyway. I mean, I always got teased and beat up, and all the girls laughed at me. But when I went to school as Natalie, no one laughed. I told the class exactly why I need to be Natalie, and there was only one boy who asked questions."

"That's good dear. I hear that even the teacher called you Natalie."

"Yes mom, she did."

"Well at least the teacher accepts you. But Natalie dear, there are ways that we must behave around a boy. This is very important that you know this. Even though you are not physically a girl yet, one thing you must never allow, and that is let a boy put his hand up inside your skirt or dress. You must never kiss a boy, for right now, on his mouth. You must never, ever, allow a boy to lie down with you, either on his or your bed, on the ground, or anywhere else. At least not until after your opertion dear, and you are 18. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes mother. Jill, Ginger and Sue, said they will help me too. I think that it is awsome having a sister and friends who care. And I love you too mom." I gave her a hug.

"Good. I made an appointment for you on Saturday to see a psychiatrist, who said she would like to meet you. Her name is Dr. Barbara St. Clair, and she is in her office on Saturdays."

"Okay mom."

"Natalie, it is okay with you, isn't it, if I walk to school with you and Tommy?"

"Yes Jill, it is. Is Ginger and Sue going to be walking with us too?"

"Yes. And what makes it all nice is, we all live in the same neighborhood. So there will be safety in numbers."

"Good sis, I like having friends. Finally." I said sadly, looking at the floor, and starting to cry.

"Honey, are you all right?" My mom asked sounding very concerned.

"I don't know mom." I said through my tears. "I mean, I never had any friends until I started to become Natalie. Why is that?" I was still crying and Jill and mom both came over to me and gave me hugs.

"Well honey, you know young people can be so cruel to us at times. But then there comes a time, when we show them that we are in charge of our destinies. That we're not going to let anyone tell us different. When I first saw you, I didn't even recognize you. You are very pretty for a young girl. And I am very proud of my youngest daughter."

"Th...Thanks m..mom."

"It will be okay honey, you'll see."

"Sis, When I first saw you too, I didn't know who you were, either. But I'm glad we met like we did, because it showed me that you were serious about being the girl that you are. I am so going to love having a sister."

"Well girls, everything is done, let's see what's on television."

"Ok mom," I said sitting between her and Jill.

Mom turned on the television but there was nothing but violent movies on. So we turned it to TMC and Tammy And The Millionaire was on, so we watched that. I like watching the Tammy movies, they are so funny and yet teaches a moral too. Debbie Watson played Tammy in this one, and it was really funny. I like the way Tammy's innocent river style just seems to overwhelm those around her. I kinda wish I was like Tammy, in a way though. The character Tammy in all of the Tammy movies is so refreshing to watch. After Tammy was over, it was bedtime, so I kissed mom and Jill goodnight, and gave them hugs and told them I loved them. Then Jill and I went up to our rooms, and got ready for bed.

I don't like mornings, they come too quickly. I turned off my alarm, swung both feet out of bed and went into the bathroom to do whatever. Then I ran my bath water, and took a nice soothing bath. Mom had bought me some perfumed soap yesterday while I was in school. So I used that. Now I smelled like a flower garden. I went in my bedroom, and Jill had already been in there with a complete set of clothes.

The dress she gave me to wear, was grass green, with little yellow flowers on the skirt part. The neckline had a little lace from shoulder to shoulder around the front. I got dressesd, and put mom's wig on, my wig now, and looked at myself in the mirror. I was beautiful. I put on some makeup, and mascara, and went downstairs for breakfast.

"Good morning sis," Jill said with a genuine smile.

"Good morning sis, good morning mom," I said giving both of them a big hug. "Jill I just love this dress. It really is my color, don't you think?"

"Yes sis I really do. I don't wear it anymore, although I may ask to borrow it every now and then."

"And you can too, Jill. Mom, I'll just have a piece of jelly toast and milk."

"All right, dear."

I sat there eating my toast and drinking my milk, and then I dabbed my mouth and it was time to leave. Just as we got up from the table, the doorbell rang. Since we were on our way out, Jill and I answered it together. It was Tommy and the girls. We said our goodbyes to mom, and said we were leaving, and then we closed the door and started walking.

As we got onto the sidewalk and headed toward school. Jill, Ginger, and Sue walked behind Tommy and I. As we walked I couldn't take my eyes off of Tommy. He was so handsome, well you know, for eleven years old. But I was feeling like I should be with him always. Yeah okay, so I'm eleven years old, and your problem with that is?

Chapter 5 - School and Dr. St. Clair.

As we headed for the school, Tommy asked me if I wanted to watch a movie on television, Saturday night. I asked what movie, and he goes, "who cares, just so I can be with you." I smiled and put my head on his arm as we walked. I looked back at Jill and the girls, who were just giving me the thumbs up, and smiling. I began to wonder again, if eleven years old was too young to have a boyfriend, but I decided that he wasn't a real boyfriend, just a friend I could spend time with. As we got near the school, we started hearing the tauntings of the boys. You all know the saying 'Natalie and Tommy sitting in tree, k i s s i n g...', well you know it. We just smiled at each other, because if they were taunting us, it meant they were jealous. I don't know exactly what it was, but when I was with Tommy, I had this really nice feeling inside. When he walked next to me, or we cuddled, I felt warm and safe.

We got to the school building, and one of Tommy's friends came over and asked Tommy if "she" puts out, and was that reason he was with me. Tommy let him have it a good one, and Mark hit the ground with a big thud. We all laughed, and Miss Hawkins came over and wanted to know what was going on.

"Nothing Miss Hawkins, Mark just kinda tripped, because he was laughing at Tommy and I. So we thought it was funny, and we laughed."

"All right children, come on now, time to get in class."

We walked into the building, and I guess Mark didn't have anything to say, but I bet he will never insult me again. Tommy was strong for eleven years old, and he used to laugh at me and pick on me something terrible, until I came to school as Natalie, and all of a sudden he was very nice to me. He even told me it was good I finally decided to stop pretending to be the boy I could never be. I agreed with him. Tomorrow at nine o'clock in the morning, I see this psychiatrist, Dr. St. Clair. I wonder what kind of lady she is. Well anyway, for today I concentrated on what Miss Hawkins said, and wrote things down in my notebook, so I wouldn't forget. Then she gave us our homework, and the school day was over. I picked up my books, but Tommy came over and took them from me.

"Natalie, from now on, I'll carry these for you, they look kinda heavy."

I smiled that girlish smile, and put my arm in his, and we walked out of the building. Mark, Jimmy and Bobby were standing on the playground, just watching us leave. Tommy looked in their direction and they decided to leave. We walked home together, and we talked about tomorrow being Saturday, and what we were going to do, when I got back from Dr. St. Clair's.

"Natalie, have you ever seen this lady before?"

"No Tommy I haven't, but I was told that she is very nice."

"All right, I just was wondering is all."

We got to my house, and I invited Tommy in. Jill and the girls came up behind us and went BOOO, and I jumped, then we all giggled. We went into our rooms, while Tommy sat on the sofa. I put my books on my dresser, looked at myself in the mirror, and went back downstairs to sit with Tommy. Mom came out of the kitchen and asked me if I would help her make the salad, and I said yes. She offered Tommy something to drink, which he accepted, and we all went into the kitchen.

'So how was school today, dear?" My mother asked, as she continued to prepare dinner.

"It was fine mom. Tommy and I talked a lot during lunch today, and we decided that we were just going to be good friends, instead of boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Well, I think that whether you are boyfriend and girlfriend or just good friends, I think you two are very nice together. Tommy, your mother even told me that since you met Natalie, you have been more than very helpful around the house, helping her with things."

"Yes ma'am. I kinda just felt that if I wanted to see Natalie, I needed to behave, and help as much as I could."

"That's good Tommy. You are a very nice boy."

"Thank you, ma'am. A lot of people say I look old enough to be sixteen years old. I want to be eleven for a while at least. I'll be sixteen someday, but not right now tho."

"Good for you, Tommy."

"Tommy," I said, looking kinda concerned about his opinion, "tomorrow when I get home from seeing Dr. St. Clair, Mom, Jill and I are going shopping for a bit. Is it all right if I call you when we get home?"

"Yes Natalie, it is all right. I don't know what love is yet, but if this is it, then I do love to be with you. It seems whenever I am with you, I seem happier, and I can do more things. Mrs. Crane, would it be all right if we went bowling on Sunday, after church?"

"Why Tommy, that is a good idea. I'd like to go bowling, and I'm sure Jill would too. We could pick teams."

"I'd like to pick teams, Mrs. Crane. It makes it more fun."

"Yes it does, Tommy. Natalie, what do you think?"

"Yes mother, I'd really like that."

"Okay then, Sunday after church we'll all go bowling. Tommy, did you call your mother, and tell her where you are, dear?'

"May I use your phone, Mrs. Crane."

"Yes, Tommy, it is right in the living room by the couch." Mom looked at me, and gave me those roving eyes, as if to say, 'go with him.' So I joined Tommy in the living room, while he called his mother.

"Hello mom? I'm at Natalie's, we were talking about going bowling on Sunday right after church. Oh really? That would be cool, mom, and thanks."

"Well? What did she say?"

"She said that sounded like a good idea, and she wants to come too, so then it would be us against the parents. Natalie I have to go home and eat dinner, I'll call you later. Okay?"

"All right Tommy, I'll walk you to the door." I walked him to the door, and gave him a big hug, and told him I'd be waiting for his call. Then I went back into the kitchen to talk to mom.

"Mom, when you were with dad, before you got married, did you ever have that funny feeling right in here?" I asked, pointing to my tummy.

She smiled at me, and then she said with a beaming smile, "why yes dear. When your father and I were dating, we always did things together, like bowling, swimming, jogging, studying, and just sitting and cuddling, while we kissed. I always had that sort of funny, excited feeling right in my tummy. I was very happy with your father when we were in school, and then when we got married. He has accepted you as his daughter, which shows what a wonerful man he is, dear."

"Thanks mom. Tommy said he will call later, after he has had dinner."

"That sounds very good dear. I'm glad that you have found a decent boy to be friends with. His mother and I talked about you two, when she was over here, and we thought that if you two could stay friends, you could end up being married to each other. But that is a long way off yet. But just remember honey, that it is never too early to learn about boys and their ways. Tommy is just starting puberty, which means his hormones are starting to take over his body, and he will want to experiment with sex, and will be looking at other girls, even when he is with you. You need to know, that he can look, but if he is going to be your boyfriend, he isn't allowed to touch. Do you know what I mean by that, Natalie?"

"Yes Mother I do, and I will make sure he is MY boyfriend, and not anyone else's."

"Good girl. All right let's put out the food in the dining room, and go and get Jill."

I went to get Jill, and when we got to the table, daddy was already there. After he said grace, we sat down to eat.

"Natalie,"daddy said looking at me with a smile. "I understand that Sunday you, your mom and Jill are going bowling. Do you mind if I come along? I haven't been bowling in a long time. Besides, I want to do something nice with my three beautiful ladies."

"Yes daddy, that would be great. Tommy's mom is coming too. Then there will be two teams, the adults against the kids." We all laughed a little at that, but mom and Jill thought that was very good idea.

The meal was delicious as usual because mom and I made it (smiles). Mom made the chicken southern style, and I mashed down the potatoes and made the salad, then I put the salt, pepper and butter on the table. We usually had full meals, because daddy worked, and mom worked too, and also worked to keep the house in order. Plus her and Jill were there to make sure I did my deportment lessons, even tho I didn't need them. I just did them to make mom feel like she was teaching me something. That was very important to her. Ginger and Sue would come over every now and then and help too. But I already knew how to put makeup on, I know how to sit, and I knew how to act in public, I knew how to eat like a lady, and dab the corners of my mouth, when I was finished.

After dinner it was the usual washing, and cleaning up the kitchen. And when that was done, we all went into the living room to watch a little television. Just as we sat down to watch the Saturday night movie, the phone rang. Jill answered it, and then looked at me with a mock evil smile.

"It's for you Natalie, it's a boy." she said trailing the word boy like for a mile.

I grabbed the phone out of her hand, and she hit me with the couch pillow, and I just stuck my tongue out at her. "Hi Tommy, I was waiting for you to call."

"Yes, Tommy, you can come over tomorrow after we get back from shopping. I'm going to be up early anyway, because I have to see Dr. St. Clair. Then we're going right from her office to the mall, because there's a few things I have to pick up. And then we're coming right home, so I would say that we'd be home about one o'clock. Would that be all right Tommy? Good Tommy, I'll see you then. Luv ya."

I hung up the phone, and Jill and mom just looked at me, and said..."luv ya?" Then mom said, "sounds like you too can't stay away from each other for too long."

"Oh mom, he's just a friend, and we kid around like that all the time."

"Kid around, huh? That's some kidding around."

"Mom," Jill said in my defense, "Natalie has been very cautious not to let Tommy get too close, so he doesn't get the wrong idea. But they have been saying a lot of luv yas, tho."

"Is that so? Well young lady, I only hope you know what we talked about, and follow that, because otherwise if you don't, a girl gets a nasty reputation. If you know what I mean. Where did you ever pick up that saying, anyway Natalie?"

"Kinda mom. But don't worry, Tommy and I have talked about this, and he agrees that when we are together, until we get older, and out of high school, we should just be friends. He said there will be plenty of time to do adult things, but right now we're still children, and we should be kids while we can."

"He said that did he? Good for him. Well, whatever , you just remember that you are a lady, and he is a gentleman."

"Yes mother, I will."

We weren't really interested in watching television, so we just sat there and talked. Mom and Jill told me many things I should watch out for when I am with a boy, including Tommy. Mom said that Tommy is just now coming into puberty, and that means his hormones will get the better of his judgement at times. Mom also told me too, that she could see that I was starting to enter puberty too, and we needed to get me on female hormones as quick as possible. Because if we didn't, the testosterone in my body, would deepen my voice like a man's and would grow hair on my body. That is something I didn't want. I only hope that Dr. St. Clair had an idea to stop this testosteroe in its tracks, before it got too far.

So, you know time always flies when you're having fun, and it was bedtime. I had to get up at eight o'clock in the morning, so I could get ready to go to see Dr. St. Clair. So I went and washed up, and got into my nightgown, and got into bed. I must've been really tired, because I don't even remember closing my eyes, when all of a sudden the alarm went off. That's how it goes I guess, when you're really tired. So, I got up, went into the bathroom, and took my shower, I used the perfumed soap mom bought for me, because I wanted to smell nice for Dr. St. Clair. As I was getting dried off, Jill knocked on the door.

"Natalie, I put another nice outfit for you on your bed. When you're finished drying off, I want you to wear it. Okay?"

"Okay sis, and thanks."

"Anytime sis."

I finished drying, and then put some lotion all over me and the some body powder, and went out to get dressed. As I went into my room, I saw what dress she had put on my bed. It was her favorite dress too. It was a knee length burgundy dress, that you could wear to a dance, out to dinner, on a date of any kind. Jill really loved this dress, and she is letting me wear it? Wow! But then I sat there wondering what I had done to deserve this honor, because Jill protected this dress with her life. She must've been watching from the door, when she came in my room.

"What's the matter sis? Don't you like the dress?"

I just started crying, and she held me. Mom came into the room, and saw me crying, and wanted to know what was going on. Jill told her that she was letting me wear her favorite dress today, and these were happy tears. Mom joined in the hug, and told me I'd better get dressed, because we had to leave shortly, and that we could get something to eat, while we were out.

"Sis," I said through my tears, "what did I do to deserve this? I mean I know we're sisters, but this is your favorite dress."

"Natalie, that's what sisters are for. To share things, even favorite things. Come on now, let's get you dressed so we can all get going. All right?"

"All right."

I got into the dress, and then put a little mascara on my eyelashes, and a light pink lipstick on my lips, and I was ready to go. Dr. St. Clair's office was on the other side of town. It took us about twenty minutes to get there. After we had parked in the parking lot, we went into the building, and straight to her office. As we went into the office, mom told the secretary my name and who I was to see. She told us to have a seat, and Dr. St. Clair would be with us momentarily. We sat in the waiting room, and then this lady, with greying hair called my name. This was Dr. St. Clair. She was about fiftyish, but still had a decent figure. Her makeup was beautiful, and she had a very nice smile. We went into her office, and sat down.

"Hello Natalie, I'm Dr. Barbara St. Clair. Your mother tells me that you wish to be a girl, physically. Is that right, dear?"

"Yes ma'am," I said sitting with my knees together and my hands folded in my lap.

"All right. I have some questions I have to ask you. Do you think you can answer them, without your mother and sister in the room?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Mrs. Crane, would you and your oldest daughter step out into the waiting room, please, while I talk to Natalie?" Mom and Jill left the office, and Dr. St. Clair sat down and smiled. "Now Natalie, I want you to tell me in your own words, why you think you are a girl."

I told Dr. St. Clair what I had told the class at school, and why I felt I was a girl, and I also told her that I didn't want to be a girl, because I was a girl. I told her how all the boys called me names, and made fun of me, whenever I was alone in the hallway at school. I also told her that some of the boys had beaten me up too, because they thought I was a sissy.

"Now Natalie, Have you ever dressed in your mother's or sister's clothes, when they were home or weren't home?"

"Yes ma'am, I have, everytime I was home alone. Then I decided one day, since I didn't fit in anywhere, I was going to see how I was treated as a girl. So I went into Jill's room, and took some of her clothes, and went for a walk. Jill and her two friends saw me, and Jill asked me where I got the skirt I was wearing from. She didn't know it was me at first, until she came up to me, and looked at me in the face. She asked me why I was wearing her clothes, and I told her, I needed to fit in somewhere. We then went to the mall and had a soda, and one of the boys from school came over, and asked Jill who her friend was. Even he didn't recognize me until I faced him and told him my name and that I was Jill's sister."

"Oh really? Well Natalie, I can see that by the way you talk, that you seem nice and feminine. But I go just a little further than most. I do what is called a fishing trip. That is where I take the prospective "girl" out on a shopping trip, to see how "she" acts in public. If I see one ounce of the "girl" acting like a boy, the shopping trip is over, and so is the charade. But I don't see that happening here. Would you like to go with me on a shopping trip?"

"Oh yes ma'am. I would really like that very much."

"Good. From what I see here, I don't think we will have any problems. Will we?"

"No ma'am. I will be a very good girl, I promise."

"I know you will Natalie."

"Doctor, do you think that you get it so that I could get my name changed legally, to Natalie Ellen Crane, instead of this beasty boy's name?"

"Beasty, huh? I like that. Only a girl would say it like that. I think we're ready to have your mother and sister come back in now."

Mom and Jill came back in the office and Dr. St. Clair explained what she thought.

"Mrs. Crane, I really don't see any mental illness here. Natalie knows who she is, and what she needs to do to be happy. I saw nothing but a girl sitting in my office, while we talked. Now here's what I will do. I will come over to your house, next week Saturday, and I will take Natalie out with me, on a shopping trip. This shopping trip includes lunch. It is my way of seeing just how serious the client is, about her identity. If she proves to me, that she is indeed a girl, I will recommend that the childrens court change her name and gender. With my written statement, the court will go along with it. You know years ago, I had a transgendered patient who was so much like an angel, she should have been born a girl. I see those same qualities in Natalie. So Natalie, is it a date, next week Saturday?"

"Yes Dr. St. Clair."

"Good." Then Dr. St. Clair did something unexpected. She gave me a hug.

We said our goodbyes, and left for our little shopping spree. Mom wanted to get me some clothes of my own, instead of wearing my sister's hand-me-downs. But the first stop at the mall, was the food court, so we could get something to eat. I had only a salad, and Jill and mom had a soda. After our lunch, we went to a few of the stores in the mall. One store was called Fine Lingerie For The Teenage Miss. We went in and looked at different sets of lingerie on hangers, some just in a pile on a table, and still others that came with very flimsy, see through pengoirs, baby dolls, and other see through nightgowns, and even the robes that came with some of them, weren't much better than the nightgown itself. Then there were bra and panty sets on hangers, that matched each other in color and there were even some that had garter belts included in the set. Mom bought me three pairs of matching bra and panty sets, five pairs of panties, five bras, five half slips and three full slips. She also bought me eight pairs of stay-up nylon stockings, in tan color. Mom paid the lady, and we went to the next store. This store, had dresses, skirts and blouses, as well as shoes of all kinds. There were skirt suits too, as well as formal, and semi-formal dresses. Mom had me try on everything in the store, I think. I tried on so many skirts, blouses, dresses, shoes, that I got the feeling we'd never leave. I mean shopping is fun and everything, but when you are doing the same thing over and over, it does get kinda boring. After settling on a nice peach semi-formal, knee length dress, three everyday go to school dresses, three skirt sets, with matching shell and blouse, and four pairs of shoes, we paid the lady and left. Since it was fall, and my coat just wasn't making the feminine scene anymore, we stopped at another store and mom picked out a very nice faux fur mid length coat in light pink. I love the color pink. I think it shows that a girl is a girl, and not a tom-boy. We left the mall and went to the car, where we put our purchases in the trunk, and then we headed home. As we pulled up in our driveway, Tommy was sitting on the front porch steps. He came around to the car, and opened my door. After giving each other a big hug and a kiss, Tommy helped us bring our packages in the house. I told Tommy to sit down, while we took these packages to my room.

"These are all for you, Natalie?"

"Yes Tommy, they are. My new wardrobe to be exact."

"Okay, I'll wait right here then."

Mom, Jill and I took my clothes up to my room, and we put my under things in my dresser, my skirt sets and dresses in the closet, along with my coat. The only thing we didn't get were jeans and pants, but mom said we would do that after Dr. St. Clair's shopping trip, next week. When everything was put away, mom and Jill went down to the kitchen, while I joined Tommy in the living room. I sat really close to him, and cuddled as I put my head on his shoulder. Tommy, for eleven years old, was pretty much a man, and was starting to get hair on his legs, and his underarms. I could see the hair on his legs, because his pants were a little short on him, like he was wearing capris or something. But he said they were just his "bumming" around clothes, so he didn't care. Tommy was also strong.

"Tommy? I never noticed before, but you have nice muscles."

"Yeah, I lift weights with my friends. and not those three stooges I used to hang around with. This is a weight lifting club actually, because my mom said I need to be strong to make it in this world. I thought she meant I had to be a bully, but, when I met you, I knew that being a bully wasn't right."

"But Tommy, you already knew me though."

"No Natalie. I knew a boy whose name was Nathan. But then he disappeared and there was this girl Natalie, who appeared in Nathan's place. I wanted to be Natalie's friend for like always. This girl Natalie and I became friends, and we watched a lot television, talked, hugged and gave each other kisses. Then I felt different about this girl. I don't know exactly what it is, but I've talked to my mom, and she asked me if I really liked you, and I said yes. Natalie, I really do like you, a lot."

"Thanks Tommy, and I talked to my mom too, and she said if we are friends long enough, we just may be getting married to each other. Mom and I have a lot of talks about you though, Tommy. All of them are nice talks too. I really like being with you, and when I saw you on the steps when we came home, my heart started beating faster, because I was glad to see you."

"And I was glad to see you too, Natalie." So we just sat there, and I curled up next to him, with those funny feelings coming back in my tummy.

Mom called me into the kitchen, and I sat down, and we talked about Tommy. "But mom, shouldn't Tommy be in here too, then. I mean we are talking about him."

"You're right dear, he should be in here too. I need to let you both know exactly what I expect of you both, while you are together. I mean I know we talked about this before, but you are not getting any younger, and as you get older, you will develop feelings for each other that you will want to explore. So tell Tommy we would like to talk to him too." I went to get Tommy, and we both sat down at the table, and Mom started again. "Tommy, I know that you and Natalie want to be together, and you even said you'd like to take her for a soda. You also said that you'd like to go to a movie with her. Your mother and I have talked about this, and we feel that if you are going to be together, away from the house, that you should have one of us, either me or your mother, chaperone. You two are very young yet, and you don't really know what kind of trouble you can get into, if you go beyond just the cuddling, hugging and kissing hello and goodbye. We are making sure that you are a gentleman, and that Natalie is a lady, at all times. Tommy, you do know what we mean by improper behavior, don't you?"

"Yes, Mrs, Crane, I do. I will make sure that we are just good friends for now. But Mrs. Crane, when I see Natalie, I have these funny feelings that I can't help. When I am at home, Natalie is on my mind quite a lot."

"Yes dear, what you are going through is what we call puberty. That is when your hormones start to "kick" in, and they make you feel things for people of the opposite sex. In your case, you have feelings for Natalie, and she has feelings for you. When her hormones "kick" in, she will have more than just friendly feelings for you, and I hope that those feelings do not get you into situations, where you want to explore each other's bodies. If you would like, I could have my husband explain what boys go through during puberty. I've talked to your mother about this, and she said that since your father left home years ago, that maybe having a man explain it properly to you, would be a very good thing. Would you like to talk to my husband about what we call the facts of life, Tommy?"

"Okay Mrs. Crane, I think that would be cool."

"Cool huh?" (Smiles), "yes Tommy that would be very cool. I'll tell him when he gets home. Then maybe later on, or maybe tomorrow, you two can sit down and have that talk, while watching football or something."

"Okay Mrs. Crane. I'd love to watch football with Natalie's dad." That's when I gave him another hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"And Natalie, when we get back from church tomorrow, we need to have a talk too, about how to act when you are with a boy."

"Yes mother."

"Right now tho, It is all right for you two to be with each other, as long as you are in the house, either at Tommy's or here. And Tommy, While you are here, you are not allowed in Natalie's room, just like she is not allowed in yours, at your house. Do you two understand what I just said.?" We nodded yes together, and the talk was over, but Tommy had to get going home. I walked him to the door and gave hin a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He gave me a kiss on the cheek too, and left.

After Tommy left, we made dinner, and sat down to eat, and we talked. Daddy was all ears, when we were talking about Tommy and I. When mom got to the point of Tommy starting puberty, early, she asked daddy, if he would have "the talk" with Tommy.

"David, Tommy's dad ran out on them years ago, and all Tommy has for a parent, is his mother. Brenda and I have been talking, and she said, if you wanted to, you could have that talk with Tommy, about what boys go through, and what happens to their bodies after puberty sets in."

"Okay, I guess, but wouldn't that be better from one of Tommy's uncles though? I mean, I know you two have talked about it, and I would be honored to tell Tommy what he is now going through. But, doesn't Tommy have any uncles?"

"No David, he doesn't, his mother never had any brothers, and Tommy has four aunts. So you see the dilemma we're in. Natalie and Tommy like each other a lot, and I just want him to know that his body is starting to change, and what those changes mean. I have talked to Natalie, and she seems to understand it very well."

"All right then, after church if Tommy comes over, we can watch football or something and I can explain the "facts of life" to him."

"Thank you David."

We finished dinner, and mom, Jill and I cleaned up, and went in the living room to watch a little television, while daddy went out in the garage.

"Mom, I know from what you've said, that what a normal girl goes through, I won't be, and you said I was lucky. Why am I so lucky.?"

Mom and Jill exchanged one of those looks, and then they both just laughed. "Well Natalie, you're still physically a boy yet, and you don't have the insides that Jill and I do. You never will. But that doesn't make you any less of a girl, either. Dr. St. Clair will presecribe what are called hormones. They will help your body develop, like the girl you want to be. Then in couple of years, say around 14 or 15, I will speak to Dr. St. Clair, about the surgery part. Now honey, that is going to hurt for a bit."

"It's all right mom, as long as I can be Natalie Ellen Crane, forever."

"Good girl." I got smiles and hugs from both mom and Jill.

After we had cleaned everythng away from the dinner dishes, and washed the table, the stove and around the sink, we sat down to talk some more. It was one of those talks a mother gives her daughter, when she first becomes interested in a boy, just to make sure we understand how to properly behave, when we are with a boy. Mom and Jill were doing all they could to make me understand, that being a girl, was more than just wearing feminine clothes, and having a girl's name.

"Natalie, I want you to know tho, that being a girl, growing into a woman, is more than just wearing the clothes, and having a nice girl's name. Being female is a discipline, a way of life that we who were born as girls, know from little on up. We know because we play with our dolls, and we try to copy what we see our mothers and fathers do. By the time we are in our teens, we get baby sitting positions, to help us take care of children better, so we can be decent mothers. Even though boys and men do cry at times, and care for others, they can't do it the way we do it. They care, but in a masculine manner. We care with tenderness, nurturing, love as only a mother can. We keep the house clean, do the shopping, cook the meals, raise the children, and some of us do all of that as a single mother too. You and Jill are very lucky to have a mother and a father who love you very much. You are our children, and it is our responsibility to make sure you are safe, clothed, fed, and cared for, until you go out on your own. And even at that Natalie, we will still love you, like for always, because no matter how old you get, you are still our child. Do you understand, dear?"

"Yes mother, I do. Jill, Ginger and Sue have been teaching me things too. I am so thankful to have a very supportive family and friends. I mean I am just eleven years old, but I feel like I'm older somehow."

Mom and Jill smiled at me, and then Jill said. "Natalie, girls mature faster than boys do, and you seem to be maturing at the rate a natural girl would. Your decision to become a phsyical girl, I feel is the right choice for you. When you are not here, mom and I have a lot of talks about how well you are doing, and so quickly, in learning to be the girl that you have always been."

I gave Jill a big hug, "Thank you Jill. I'm so glad I have a very decent sister."

We talked some more about the facts of life, again, and then it was time for bed. I gave mom and Jill a good night hug and kiss, and went into the den to give dad a hug and kiss too.

"Good night daddy. I love you."

"Good night punkin, and I love you too."

I went up to my room, and got my bath going, so I could go to bed clean. Mom always said a girl takes a bath or a shower at least twice a day, once in the morning, and once before bed. Mom told me that girls need to be cleaner than boys, anyway. After my bath, I got into my nice frilly pink nightgown, and felt very feminine. I got under the covers, and put my head on the pillow, and the next thing I know, it's morning. Who invented mornings anyway? I got up, and went to run my bath, and this time I put in some nice lavender crystals. I soaked in the tub for a while, and just let the lavender scent sink into me all over. Then I washed up, and rinsed off with the shower head. I patted myself dry with a nice soft terry towel, and went to get dressed. Jill had put another dress, slip, and panty and bra set on my bed. Why was she giving me her clothes that she didn't wear anymore, since I now have my own clothes? Oh well, I guess she is just letting me have the things she doesn't wear anymore, instead of throwing them out. I put the bra and panty set on, and then the full slip, and sat down to brush my hair, and put on my makeup. I wasn't allowed to use any eye makeup, except for mascara. When I was finished, I took the dress and stepped into it, and zipped it up, as far as I could. Just then, Jill came into my room, and finished zipping me up.

"How do you like this dress, sis?"

"It's really pretty, sis. I like the lace on the sleeves and the hem, and the peach color is really beautiful. Thanks sis, for everything." I gave her a big hug and a sisterly kiss of the cheek.

"Natalie, this is what sisters do for each other. We give things we think the other will love, and enjoy. I also brought something else for you too. Close your eyes, sis."

I closed my eyes, and felt something being place around my neck. "Okay sis, you may open your eyes now."

I opened my eyes and I saw the most beautiful pendant hanging from a thin, gold chain. The pendant part, came down to just above the breast (if I had any. Oh well, maybe someday tho). "Oh sis, this is so beautiful, and it looks like a ruby too. Thank you so much, sis, you are so wonderful to me."

"Think nothing of it dear sister. I'm only glad I have a sister to share things with."

"Girls," mom yelled up the stairs, "it's time we were going. Your father is already in the car waiting."

"I guess we're being called Natalie. Come on, let's go."

We went downstairs, and got our coats, and off to church we went. When I got into the car, daddy noticed the different scents, we were all wearing. Then he sniffed in my direction, and took a very long look at me.

"Natalie, I don't know how I ever thought you were a boy. But looking at you now, like this, I can see that you never were. I'm so proud of my three girls."

Then he turned around, and started the car, mom turned to me and just smiled. We arrived at church, and when everyone saw us coming, they just had to tell me how pretty I was. I was scared at first, because this is the first time I attended church as a girl. The pastor of the church looked at us as we sat down, and then he began with a song, called Praise To The Lord. I knew this song, because we had sang it so many times, even at home. Then he began talking about the lost sheep, and how the shepard went out and looked for the lost sheep. Then he looked directly at me, when he said, "...and so, if we have thirty and three, and one goes astray, do we not look for the one who goes astray, leaving the thirty and two? I want everyone to know, that God has a plan for everyone of us, and we have to follow that plan, regardless of where it leads us. We had a lost sheep for many years, and today that sheep was found, and brought back into the fold. It is my pleasure to welcome back to our little fold of believers, Miss Natalie Ellen Crane."

Everyone looked at me, and the murmurs started. I thought maybe they were talking nasty about me being the girl I so need to be. But then, Mr. Franklin Richards stood up. Mr. Richards was a tall man, over six feet, and he worked at the mill. "Pastor, there was a little talk amongst ourselves, and we came to a conclusion. If God has a plan for all of us, then it is His plan that Natalie Ellen Crane is to be the girl, He intends her to be. This is a child of innocence that has been blessed by God, and we here in this congregation, welcome her too, to our 'little fold' as you put it, pastor."

"Thank you Richard, and thank you all for being Christians with a Christian spirit. This is what Jesus is all about, accepting others, even if they are different. God bless everyone here, through His Son Jesus, and may He grant you all of your prayers. May we all come into the aisle now for the circle of faith.?" We all got out of our seats, and joined in a circle, by holding hands with the person next to us on both sides. "Does anyone have any special prayers to be said for anyone, for any reason?"

Margaret Sooner, an elderly member of the parish, and in her late sixties, said she had a special prayer for me. "Paster, may we pray to the Lord God, that Natalie Ellen Crane, become the decent lady that she has shown us that she is, forever and ever, through Jesus, our Lord and Saviour?"

"Yes Margaret, very good. You have said it well. Anyone else?" Several parishoners said prayers for loved ones, and parishoners that were ill. When no one else had any prayers to say for anyone, we said the Lord's Prayer, and then wished everyone a good week ahead, and then we headed for home.

We didn't go right home, tho. We stopped at the mall to get something to eat. This would the first time daddy has seen me behave like a young lady, in public. I ordered a salad and a milk, and waited for daddy to bring the food to the table, with mom helping. Daddy ordered a double burger, mom had just a salad, like I did and so did Jill. Jill had milk too, and mom and daddy had coffee. We sat there and ate our lunch, and talked some more.

"Natalie," daddy said to me, with a smile. "You behave very well for a young lady, like you were born a girl. I am so proud of my youngest daughter, becasue she has manners. I'm also proud of Jill and your mother too. They have done an exceptional job, in making you into a fine young lady." I didn't tell him, that most of my being a proper young lady, was something that came naturally to me, so mom, Jill and I, just let him believe that they had helped me.

Oh my gosh, I swear tho, if daddy really knew how long I had wanted to be accepted as the girl I really needed to be, he probably would go into a heart attack. So I just let him think it was something that happened suddenly. Of course we all know that is not how we become the girls, we have been all of our lives. When we got home, we all went into the house, and sat down in the living room.

"Natalie?" Mom asked inquiringly. "How did you feel when the pastor, and the members of the church welcomed you to the congregation?"

"I just felt all right, mom. I mean, I have always been going to the same church. But today, they welcomed me as the girl I am. That was really great, mom. But I didn't feel any different about it."

"I see. Well, you certainly took this like a lady, and I am very proud of you, for not saying anything that would change their minds."

"Why would I mom?"

"Well never mind now, Natalie. Next Saturday, Dr. St. Clair will come and take you shopping. She told me she will buy you a couple of things that every girl needs."

"Yes mother, I can't wait to go with her either. She seems very nice."

"Yes she does, doesn't she?"

"Anyway, what do you think we should make for dinner?"

"Oh I don't know, mom. I think maybe, uhmmmm, well how about meatloaf? We haven't had that for a while."

"Okay dear, meatloaf it is. Do you remember how to make it?"

"Yes mother, I do."

"Would you like to make dinner tonight, dear?"

"I would love to."

While we sat there talking, I couldn't help but think of how I had been treated today, and how I was treated by Jill, Ginger and Sue, when they first saw me, as a girl. I couldn't help but feel happy inside. I guess mom and Jill saw me wandering, and asked me if there was anything wrong.

"No mother, there isn't anything wrong. I was just thinking of how I was accepted today by the people and the pastor at the church, and how Jill, Ginger and Sue, treated me when they first saw me in Jill's outfit. I was just thinking also, how my teacher treated me and how most of the kids in my class treated me too. I don't know, mom, I feel just happy inside."

"That's good dear. Tell you what we'll do. You make the meatloaf, and I will make the salad, and Jill can set the table. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good, mom."

Then we sat there and turned on the television, but I wasn't too interested in what was on. I kept thinking that I have been accepted as the girl I am, and no one said anything to me about it wasn't right. I felt that I was on cloud something or other, because I had a loving and accepting family, friends at school, I have been accepted at church, and I have been accepted by Dr. St. Clair. What more could a girl my age ask for? I mean not to mention Tommy too. He has been very nice to me, and mom has been making sure I understood what is acceptable for a girl not to do, or allow a boy to do, when they are together. I finally found out where I fit in.

Before I knew it, it was time to get dinner started, and we all went into the kitchen, and I got out the ground beef, the green peppers, the onions, a secret seasoning, a few other ingredients we use in our meatloaf. I got out the eggs, and the bread crumbs, and began mixing everything together. I formed it into a loaf, and put in a one pound bread pan. I set the oven for three hundred and seventy five degrees, and let it pre-heat. When it was hot enough, by the temperature light, I put the meatloaf in, and waited thirty five minutes, for it too cook. After the timer went off, I looked at the meat thermometer, and it said one hundred and eighty degrees. Just the right temperature. I took an oven mitt, and took the pan out of the oven, and set it on top of the stove. I then took a cutting board from the cupboard, and set it on the table. I then put the pan with the meatloaf on the cutting board. I sliced the meatloaf into six pieces, because daddy liked to have three pieces by himself, and that left one a piece for mom, Jill and I. I had a small salad, and a glass of milk. Jill had the same, while mom had coffee with hers. We always talked at dinner, but tonight, I was so far away in my mind.

When dinner was over, we cleaned up the kitchen and the dining room, but I was just kinda doing it automatically, because I was still thinking. I couldn't get everything out of my mind. Things were happening so fast, but I didn't care. I was accepted as a girl, and that was the most important thing to me. After we had finished cleaning, I told mom and Jill I was tired, and was going to bed. I gave mom and Jill and hug and a kiss, and I went to give daddy and hug and kiss too, then I went to bed. I was really tired. I was too tired to take a bath, so I just took a quick shower. Then I got into my night gown, and crawled into bed.

When my alarm went off the next morning, I felt that I had been sleeping for a long time, and I was well rested. I got up, and ran my bath, I put in some nice Lavender crystals, again, and just soaked in the fragrant water. I then washed down, and rinsed off with the shower head. I went into my room, and got dressed. I figured today would be a casual day, so I got out my blue skirt, with my white, button down top, my white bra and panty set, and my black pumps with the two inch heels. I put on my nylon stockings, and all the rest of the clothes, except the skirt and top, until I had put my makeup on. Then I put the skirt on, and then the top, which was made to wear outside of the skirt, by covering the waistband.

After I made sure everything was straight, I went downstairs to breakfast.

"Good morning mom. Good morning Jill. Mom, I'm just going to make a jelly toast, and a glass of milk."

"All right, sweetheart. My goodness tho, you seem very cheery this morning. Did you rest well?"

"Yes mother I did. I slept very well, thank you."

"That's good, dear."

"Jill, we'd better be going, Ginger and Sue will be here at any time." That's when the door bell rang. I went to answer it, thinking it was the girls, but when I opened the door, it was Tommy.

"Good morning Natalie. Are you ready to go to school?"

"Why yes, I am, Tommy. Are you going to walk with me?"

"Yes, I am, Natalie." I went and got my coat and my books, and Tommy took my books, and put them under his arm. "This is my job, Natalie, they look awfully heavy for you to carry." I smiled that girlish coy smile, and just let him carry my books. Just as we were leaving, and Jill was coming out of the house, the girls were coming to the door. They said hi to Tommy and me, and we continued walking.

When we got to school, no one said a word to me, not even the teachers, and for all of the rest of the week, I had a wonderful time at school. All the girls just loved my earrings, my pendant, and my clothes, as well as my attitude. That Friday, when we were at dinner, we talked about the week at school.

"Natalie," Daddy was saying. "How was your week at school?"

"It was great daddy. All the girls were really nice. They all wanted to know where I got this outfit and that outfit from. The blue crystal tear drop earrings I have, they joked that they were jealous of" (I giggled). "But, even though I heard everything my teachers said, I was sort of in dreamland too. I just could not believe that my life has taken a turn for the best. I mean, I finally found friends, and a place to fit in. The boys don't call me names anymore, but they whistle a lot" (I giggled again). "Daddy, mom, Jill, thanks for everything. I'm loving being a girl."

Mom and Jill came over and gave me a big hug, and then mom looked at me with that mommy smile of hers.

"Honey, I am so glad that I have two daughters. And even tho Jill is two and a half years older than you, you both seem to get along fine. I know your father is proud of you two also. Now how about you two help me clean away the dishes and clean this place up a little?" We both said okay mom, and we did our usual clean up, then I went up to bed, and did my usual. I climbed into bed. This last week had been so tiring for me, even tho I had a great time. Tomorrow I see Dr. St. Clair.

I got up around nine o'clock, because I was anxious to get my bath in. I ran the bath with a rose scented bubble bath foam, and I watched as the suds just filled up the tub. While the tub was filling, I went into my bedroom, and got out the clothes I was going to wear that day. I wanted to smell and look nice for Dr. St. Clair. I took out my lilac dress, and my lilac bra and panty set, I got my nylons out, and my lilac pumps with the one inch wedge heels. I went back into the bathroom and turned off the water, and got into the tub. I just sat there and soaked the fragrance into my body. When I was in there for about five minutes, Jill knocked on the bathroom door.

"Hey! Did you drown in there or something?"

"No Jill, the door's open tho."

Jill came in and pulled her panties down, and sat on the toilet, and I wasn't looking at her, because I was in seventh heaven sitting in my bath. "it smells really nice in here. I like that rose bubble bath."

"Thanks sis. I want to make sure my hair is washed too."

"Oh! That reminds me, I have a shampoo that I got from the beauty shop. It is called Rose Petal Soft. That'll go good with the bubble bath scent." She said she'd be right back, and disappeared. She came back with the shampoo, and told me to use that. Then I'd smell like roses all day long. I thanked her, and she left. I washed up, and rinsed off with the shower head, then I washed my hair. I rinsed off what suds still remained around my feet and ankles, and in my hair. I always condition my hair twice, to make it very silky. I got out of the tub and patted down with a soft terry towel, and then wrapped the towel around me like a girl would. I went to get dressed.

"Sis," Jill said as I got into my bedroom. "May I come along with you and Dr. St. Clair today?"

"If she lets you, sis. I would love to have you with me."

"Great, I'll tell mom then, she's down in the kitchen already."

"Okay."

I got dressed in my clothes, and made sure everything was straight, then went down for breakfast. "Good morning mom," I said giving her a hug. Good morning daddy," I said as I gave him a hug. I also gave Jill a hug, and she looked at me with surprise. "What's that for sis?"

"Oh, I don't know, just because."

"Just because what, dear sister?"

"Just because you're my sister," I said with a genuine smile. I got another big hug from Jill for that compliment. Just as my toast popped up, and my milk was poured, the doorbell rang. I went to answer it.

"Hello Dr. St. Clair, please come in. We're in the kitchen. Would you like some breakfast?"

"Why thank you Natalie, but no, I already had breakfast, dear. But thanks for the generous offer."

We walked into the kitchen, and of course daddy had to be the gracious host, as he stood up and greeted Dr. St. Clair. Mom and Jill greeted her too, and she sat down.

"Dr. St. Clair, would you like a cup of coffee or maybe a cup of tea?"

"Why Natalie, you are the gracious hostess today. All right, since you insist I have something, I'll have a cup of tea, no cream, and one half of a teaspoon of sugar."

"Yes, ma'am, coming right up."

Dr. St. Clair watched my every move. She watched as I poured the tea and added the sugar, and then I placed her cup of tea on a saucer, with the spoon I added the sugar with, and served it to her, bending my knees, as I set the tea in front of her. "Here is your tea, ma'am, please leave the tip under the saucer when you are finished. Thank you for dining at Natalie's cafe." We all laughed a little at my joke.

"Natalie, from what I have just seen, you are going to make a fine girl, and a wonderful hostess."

"Thank you, Dr. St. Clair, I'm sure." Everyone laughed a little at that, even daddy.

"Dr. St. Clair, are you always this early on a Saturday, when you take a client out on your 'fishing' trip?" Mom asked inquiringly.

"Yes, I try to get an early start and finish with a lunch, and then bring the client back home by at the most, one o'clock."

"Dr. St. Clair, may Jill go with us?"

"Yes dear, Jill may go with you, if that will make you feel more comfortable."

Jill excused herself, and went to get her coat, and her purse. She came back in no time at all, and Dr. St. Clair said we had to get going, because the first stop was the office supply store. "You know years ago, I would have taken you to Woolworth's, but you don't see them any more. But I must say tho, Natalie, you do remind me so much of Allison. She was a young client of mine too, many years ago. We still see each other, but not as doctor/client tho."

We sat there and talked some more, then Dr. St. Clair said we had to get going. Jill put her coat on and grabbed her purse, and I took my coat out of the front hall closet, and picked up my purse, and then I opened the door, and allowed Dr. St. Clair to go first, then I went out followed by Jill.

When we got into the car, Dr. St. Clair said she was going to stop at Office Max to get me something every girl should have. It took us only ten minutes to get there. When we had parked and got into the store, we went right to the where the notebooks and binders were. She started rummaging through the diaries there, and picked one that had a girl on the cover, lying on her tummy, writing.

"How is this one, Natalie?"

"That is so beautiful, Dr. St. Clair."

"I'm glad you like it, because it's yours. Write whatever in it. What happened that day at school, or with your friends, or with a boy, or something you did by yourself that was memorable, and you want a reminder of it."

"Thank you, Dr. St. Clair."

"You're welcome, dear."

But we didn't leave right away. We went to another part of the store, where there were calculators, and palm tops. She picked out a calculator for me, but didn't let me see it, until she had tried it first.

"Natalie, with today's school work, this will help get through it a little quicker. What do you think, would you like to have this?"

"Yes ma'am, but I usually do all of my math in my head, and I do it quickly too. Some of the boys in my class tho, seem to have a problem, adding one and one."

She giggled a little, and then said, "Natalie, this is yours then. And yes, some boys have a real problem when it comes to doing simple mathematics."

We went to the cashier and paid for the purchases, and then we left the store. We headed out of the parking lot, toward the mall. After parking and getting into the mall, Dr. St. Clair took us to a shop that sold only young and teenage girls clothing.

"Natalie, you may pick out anything in the store, and I will give it to you as a present."

I couldn't believe what I just heard. I looked Jill, and she at me, and we decided okay, let's find something nice. So we looked around the store, and I saw and really nice teal dress. It had lace around the arms and the hem. It had a scoop neckline, and came to my knees exactly. It was like it was made for me. Jill came with me to the dressing room, and I tried on the dress. I stepped out for Dr. St. Clair's approval.

"Why Natalie, you look very pretty in that dress. Would you like to have that?"

"Yes ma'am, I really would."

"Then, it's yours."

"Thank you so much Dr. St. Clair." I gave her a hug, and started to cry.

"Natalie, is there something wrong, dear?"

"N-n-no Dr. St. Clair. I'm just happy is all. You are being so kind to me, that I can't help crying."

"Honey, girls cry when we're happy, when we're sad, or just for nothing sometimes. It's all right tho, because I do this with all of my transgendered clients. And you young lady, are going to make a very fine girl."

We paid for the dress, and the next stop was IHOP. I love going to IHOP, because they have these salads, that mom, Jill and I can eat together, and all you have to do is order one, and then there is always some left over. Of course, daddy takes care of that part (giggles a little). While we sat there, we talked some more. I never get tired of hearing how I am supposed to act. My sitting and my posture do not need any improving, but my voice needs to come up a little, because it is starting to get into the low range.

"Natalie, I know a speech therapist that can help you with your voice. She can make you talk like a girl, without having to have what is called a tracheal shave."

"What is a tracheal shave, Dr. St. Clair?"

"A tracheal shave is where they actually operate on your vocal chords to make them more feminine. They reduce the size of the adams apple, which is your voice box. Then they will have you see a speech therapist anyway, so that when you can speak, your voice can be trained to talk like any other girl."

"All right Doctor, we will talk to mom about it when we get home."

"All right, Natalie, that is fine, dear. You know tho, when your mother called me, I suspected that I was going to meet a very pretty young lady, with manners, and you have not disappointed me. When I get you home, I will talk to your mother. Then I have to go to the office and write a report for your file, about what we did, and why. Because the money I am using, is actually company money for the benefit of our clients. So it has to be accounted for. But Natalie, I have seen no masculinity in you at all. Everything you did today, and in my office, and at home, showed me what a wonderful girl you really are. You will be glad to know, that I can recommend to the children's court, that your name and gender be changed, officially, so that you can be the girl you are, forever."

I gave her a hug, because that is what I wanted to hear from her. "Thank you so much, Dr. St. Clair. I really do appreciate everything you are doing for me."

"But Natalie, dear, I haven't really done anything, except listen and make a few notes. You did everything yourself, and of that young lady, I am very proud of you."

Jill gave me a big hug, and kissed on me on my cheek. "Sis, like I told you before, I'm going to love having you for a sister, because you are so kind to everyone, and you are so concerned about not hurting anyone's feelings, you bring home every stray you find. You're so concerned about whether or not that baby bird that fell out of the nest has a mother. Sis, I am very proud of you." She gave me another hug, and smiled that contagious family smile.

"Natalie, is what you're sister said, true?"

"Yes Dr. St. Clair. I feel for any one or any animal that is lost, or looks like it doesn't have a mother. Everyone should have a mother."

"Yes, Natalie, I agree with you. You have just shown me another side of you that I didn't know about. Thank you Jill, for bringing that up. That is going to be very important in my decision. All right ladies, are we ready to go?"

"Yes doctor," Jill and I said in unison.

We left the IHOP restaurant, and headed for home. I had a great time, and while we were in the car, we talked about nothing, just girl talk. Dr. St. Clair was a very nice lady. It is nice to know that she understands that I don't want to be a girl, I am a girl, and I am going to be one now, forever.

Chapter Six - School, the operation, and children's court.

When we got back home, I walked into the house like a lady, instead of running in like a boy would. Dr. St. Clair watched my every move. When we got into the kitchen, we all sat down. Dr. St. Clair started by telling mom, just how impressed with me she is.

"Mrs. Crane, Natalie has shown me that she is not only a girl, but acts like a lady when she is out in public. She has very good manners, and doesn't make a scene like some of the other clients I have had over the years. She reminds me so much of Allison, who was a client of mine, until she was twenty-one. As I said before, we still keep in touch, and she tells me how she is doing. Natalie is going to make a fine woman someday, because she is a very decent young lady now. I am also going to send you a recommendation for the children's court, so that Natalie can have her name and gender changed forever. I will be at that hearing too, in case the judge wishes to ask me any questions, and I'm sure he will. I will set up the hearing date for you, and I will have my legal counsel make out the papers. Is that all right with you, Mrs. Crane?"

"Why yes, that would be wonderful. Then Natalie doesn't have to worry about having two names, or someone calling her a boy."

"And Natalie, is that all right with you too?"

"Yes Dr. St. Clair, and thank you so much for understanding."

"Natalie, that is my job actually, is to understand my clients as they really are. I do look for things that may not be suitable, and I do make sure that my transgendered clients are all they say they are. You are as you say you are, and more, young lady. I have had many clients that have gone all the way through the transition process. Do you know what that means, Natalie?"

"Uhm somewhat doctor. I know I have to take hormones, and other pills to stop me from being a yucky boy. And, I know I have to live, dress, go to school, and sleep dressed as a girl, which is just fine with me. I mean boy clothes are so stiff and course. And girls get to have so much fun too. I love being a girl Dr. St. Clair. Being a girl is the best way to live, when you have these feelings deep inside."

"Yes Natalie, I agree with you. All right then, I will go to my office and get things started. And, Natalie, since this is court, you dress really nice. Okay?"

"Yes Dr. St. Clair." I got up and gave her a hug, and then I started crying again. She wiped the tear from my eye, and lifted my chin up, smiled and then nodded like she understood why I was crying.

"Natalie, you're going to be okay. Crying shows me the tender side of you, and that's is what we are, very tender in our feelings towards others and ourselves. I have to be going now, so we can get things moving along. It won't be long now. OH! I almost forgot. Natalie, do you know what an orchiectomy is?"

"No Ma'am."

"Okay, well I will set that up with the urologist too. The sooner that is done, the better you will develop too. Mrs. Crane, would please walk with me to the door? I need to tell you what we have to do." Mom walked Dr. St. Clair to the door, and Jill and I decided to listen by the kitchen door. Yes, girls do do that (giggles a little).

"Mrs. Crane, I didn't want to say this in front of the girls, but the orchiectomy is very important. It not only helps Natalie develop like a girl, but she will not have the body hair that males have as they get older, and her voice won't change to a male's lower pitch and tone. But the orchiectomy involves the removal of the testicles, because that is where testosterone is produced from." Jill and I looked at each other, and went ewwww very sliently. "Without testosterone being produced in the body, the estrogens can do their work a lot better. I will also prescribe prometrium too, and that is a porgesterone. Wait a second, I'll give you that prescription now then, and you can have it filled at your local drugstore."

"Thank you, Dr. St. Clair. We'll see you at the hearing then?"

"Yes, Mrs. Crane, you will. But I want to see Natalie too, while she is going through this transition, so I can help her with any problems that may come, and she doesn't want to talk to you about them."

"All right, doctor, and thank you so much for what you've already done for Natalie."

"You're welcome, Nancy. Have a good evening."

"You too doctor." Then she was gone. Jill and I hurried back to our seats.

"Okay Natalie," mom said looking at me with a somewhat serious look. "What Dr. St. Clair said was, that the orchiectomy involves removing two things from your body, so that you don't produce anymore testosterone. She said she will make the appointment for you, and that is done by a urologist. Do you know what they take out, Natalie?'

"No mom, I don't."

"Well, a male has what are called testicles, and they are located down below, between the legs. They are in what is called a sac. The sac is opened and they carefully remove the two stonelike things. With these gone, you will not produce any more testosterone, and the estrogens you will be taking will be able to do the job they were meant to do, better."

"Uhm, down here mom," I said pointing to my groin area.

"Yes dear. Does that scare you, honey?"

"A little, but if it will make me more of a girl, then I will be brave."

"Well Dr. St. Clair says it really doesn't hurt that much, just feels a little achy at first. But that will go away. She says you will be in the hospital for two nights, to make sure there isn't any infection, then you can come home."

"Okay mom."

"I think I'm tired, Jill will you help me, please?"

"Sure sis, I'd be glad to."

I gave mom a hug and kiss good night, and Jill and I went up to my room. I closed the door, so mom wouldn't hear us talking. "Did you hear what Dr. St. Clair and mom said? I am so glad that they are taking those ugly things out."

"Yes, and I'm glad I never had anything like that, ever. They sound horrible."

"They must be, if girls don't have them. So since I am a girl, what do I need them for? Nothing, that's what."

"For sure Natalie. When they finally take those things out, then you will develop like me. Oh this is going be so great."

"Jill, will you be there at the hospital for me, when I go? I mean I know I can be brave about this, but I would like you and mom to be there, so I don't have to do this all alone."

"Sure sis, and I bet they will do it on a Friday too, so that way you don't miss any school."

"That would be so cool too. Then I won't have to really worry about anything, except...." I trailed off.

"Except what sis? The thing that will still be there? Hey, look at it this way, a girl has what is called a clitoris. So just say that your penis is a very long clitoris, that needs to be shortened."

"That's a good idea sis. Uhm sis, what is a clitoris anyway?"

"You'll learn all about that, when the doctor explains what he will do, when you have the operation to make you a complete girl."

"Ok sis, I think I can wait. I've waited this long." We giggled a little, and then Jill and I hugged and gave each other a kiss good night.

When she left, I went into my room, and drew my bath, and then went and got out a nice satin teddy, and laid it on the bed. It had a matching pair of panties with it too. I went back and turned the water off, and got into the tub, and just soaked for a bit. I didn't know why I needed to soak, but it was relaxing. Jill came and knocked on the door, and said she needed to get in. I told her the door was open. She came, and sat on the toilet after slipping her panties down, and we talked for a bit.

"Natalie, this is something you should get used to. Girls aren't embarrasssed in front of other girls."

"I'm not embarrassed sis. I think its wonderful that I'm a girl. I get to be happy, I get to do more fun things, I get to share things with my sister, and have talks with my sister. Even if you are older than me, I still like talking to you."

"That's great, sis. I enjoy talking to you too." She wiped herself, and then slipped her panties back up. She put the toilet lid down, and sat there, and we just talked.

"I mean, I just love soaking in the tub, and having bubble baths, and wearing pretty clothes, and being called young lady. I like it when mom and daddy give me hugs, and when daddy calls me punkin'. I just love being a girl."

"I know sis, and I love having you for a sister too. Mom says that in a couple of years, you will able to have the operation, but that will be right after school ends for the summer, so you have time to heal right. Mom was also told that there will be after care that is very important, but she didn't say what, tho."

"It's okay sis. I'm ready for anything now. I mean, since this has been me like forever, I am ready for whatever comes now."

"What about Tommy?"

"Tommy is great, he said when I do finally have my operation, he would come and visit me in the hospital, and here at home. His mother told me that I am transsexual, because I feel that I was born in the wrong body."

"Yes sis, you are transsexual, but that only means, that your body needs a little work, to make it right. Right now your body is male, while your soul is female. See sis, when you are a natural girl, like mom and me, you get to want to know these things, so we can help. I've done a lot of reading, and Dr. St. Clair is a very good source of information too. I bet if you asked her questions, she would answer them, the way you can understand what she is saying."

"Yes sis, I know, and I think I'm turning into a prune." I giggled and so did she.

"Here, let me help you with your back." She took the wash sponge, and washed my back, with very soft, circular motions. When she was finished, she gave me the sponge and told me to finish up, then she left. I finished washing and rinsing, and went into my room to get into my teddy and go to sleep. But that stupid alarm keeps waking me up. I got up, ran my bath, put in some of the rose bubble bath, and used the rose shampoo that Jill had given me. After I was finished, I went back in my room to get dressed, and found a surprise waiting for me.

Jill had put another outfit on my bed. This time it was a skirt set. The skirt was multi-colored and looked tie-dyed. The shell was a teal/maroon, and the jacket was just plain powder blue. The outfit looked really nice, and I wondered just what the kids at school would say when I showed up in it. I got out my rose colored bra and panty set, my nylons, and my black pumps, that had two inch heels. When I was finished getting dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror, made sure everything was straight, and went down to breakfast.

"Good morning Mom," I said giving her a hug. "Good morning Jill," and I gave her a hug too. Then I made one piece of toast, and poured myself a glass of milk. I spread some jelly on the toast, and sat down to eat it. It took me five munites to eat one piece of toast, because mom, Jill and I always talked at breakfast, even tho we didn't have much time. As I washed my saucer and glass, the doorbell rang. Jill and I answered it together and ther were Ginnger, Sue, and of course Tommy. I gave Tommy a big hug and kiss, and we started off to school. Jill pulled my arm, and made apologies to Tommy, saying she needed to tell me something, girl-to-girl.

"Natalie? I want you to know, that being friendly with Tommy is all right, but make sure it doesn't go beyond the kissng and hugging. Okay?"

"Okay sis." I listened to Jill and mom because they have been girls longer than me, and there were things I needed repeated, so that after a while, it would be second nature to me. I'm eleven years old, and I think Tommy has more than just a friendly interest in me. But I remember what mom and Jill had told me, when we had our talks. Mom and Jill continue to tell me things I need to learn about being a girl, and all of them are about boys. I'm not to let a boy put his hand under my skirt or dress. I'm not to go into his room at his house, or allow him in my room at my house. We sit on the sofa at each other's houses, and watch television or talk. We were told that cuddling is all right, as long as it doesn't go beyond that. I think tho, that I just kinda knew these things anyway, because like Jill said, girls mature faster than boys. I mean there are some men I have seen acting like little children. Being a girl, we can act anyway we want, as long as we know our limits. Everyone has limits. That's what mom said. We got to school, and all of a sudden the whistles started, when they saw Tommy and I walking hand in hand. We got onto the playground, and waited by our door to open. then the door finally opened, we all went in, and Mark came up to us.

"Natalie, I want to apologize for being rude to you. I guess I just don't know when to quit. I like your outfit tho, it still makes you look pretty."

"Thanks Mark, apology accepted. And thanks for the compliment too."

"You're welcome," he said and then walked to his locker.

In Middle school, we have lockers, no recess, and the only free period we have is lunch. I have one teacher for one block, which is 90 minutes long, and there are three blocks during the day. I went to Miss Hawkins room and sat down. Miss Hawkins looked at my outfit, and wanted to know where I got it from.

"I got it from my sister Jill. She gives me all of her hand me downs that she doesn't want or need anymore, even though I have a lot of pretty clothes myself.

"That's what sisters are for Natalie, is to share things and have talks and do things together. You are very fortunate to have Jill for a sister, Natalie. She was my student when she was your age."

Miss Hawkins gave Jill a very nice compliment. "Thank you, Miss Hawkins, and thanks for saying good things about Jill too."

"Oh my gosh, dear, you are the one I need to thank, and Jill too. I have never had such brighter students. Most of my students are very smart, but Natalie, you and your sister, are way smarter, because you are just becoming a girl, and yet, you seem like you were born one. That is remarkable. Your studies are to perfection, and your attitude in this class is such a pleasure amongst these rowdy boys, who don't know how to behave." She shot a glance towards Mark and Bobby.

"Thank you Miss Hawkins, but I'm just doing my work. When I study at home, I don't do it watching television or playing video games, or talking on the phone. I do my work, and if there is enough time, I watch television with mom and Jill."

"That is why you are my brightest student, Natalie. You pay attention to detail, and you write your essays very nice too. I saw your fifth grade book report, and it was really, really good."

"Thank you, Miss Hawkins. I'm really glad you like my work, but I just do it, and then have time to talk or play or watch tv."

"And that is a good way to look at your future to, young lady. If you study hard, you may be able to get an academic scholarship, to a college of your choice. Natalie, do you like to read a lot?"

"Well, I don't read a lot, but when I do read, I try to picture the story in my mind. To see if I can see the scenes and the characters."

"All right Natalie, but thanks for letting us know a little more about you."

Just as Miss Hawkins was ready to tell the class to take out our books for the first class, her radio sqwacked, letting her know someone needed to talk to her. When she said she was there, the secretary from the office said, "please send Natalie Crane to the office with her books, please. Her mother is her to take her to the doctor." Miss Hawkins said she was sending me right away.

"Natalie, go to the office, your mother is waiting, and for homework, I want you to read a book, and write a book report on it, due Friday. For tomorrow, just do the lessons at the end of chapter two."

"Yes ma'am."

"Good luck Natalie, and we'll see you on Thursday."

"Thursday ma'am?" I asked very puzzled.

"Yes Natalie. You will be in the hospital tonight, and tomorrow, and your mother has already told me what is going to happen. I don't want to say it front of the class, Natalie, but Dr. St. Clair made the appointment."

"All right, Miss Hawkins. Yes I think I know what this is. I will see everyone on Thursday then."

Everyone said goodbye, and I left the classroom, and went to the office. Mom was there with Jill, and I gave them both a big hug, and we left.

"Where are we going, mom?"

"Dr. St. Clair wasted no time in getting you an appointment with the urologist to have your orchiectomy done. There is also something else the doctor will remove too, and that is called the prostate gland. The prostate gland, is only in male bodies. Females don't have those, either. We're going to the hospital, and you will be given a room, and then the doctor will operate sometime today, and you will be there for the weekend, because of the prostate being removed, along with those nasty other things."

"All right mom. Will you call Miss Hawkins and let her know, and my other teachers, too. That way Jill can get my homework for me."

"Yes dear, I will call the school to make sure Jill can pick up your homework."

We got to the hospital, and the lady at the admitting desk looked up my name, and told me I had room number 317. When she took all of my information, she had another lady take me up to my room, in a wheelchair. They said it was hospital regulations. So I was pushed up to my room, and I found I had a roommate. Her name was Cynthia, and she was there to have her appendix out. We got to talking, and she said she has seen me around school, and thought it was cool, that I was going to be a girl forever.

After we were talking for a while, the nurse came in, and introducd herself.

"Hi Natalie, I'm nurse June. I'm going to be your nurse until about two o'clock this afternoon, and then another nurse will come in and take care of you."

Nurse June looked like she was about the same age as my mom, and she had one of those very friendly smiles. When she talked she almost sounded like she was singing. Her blonde hair was put up, and her nurses cap was pinned to it. She didn't wear any nail polish or lipstick, but her makeup, was very nice. After she left us alone, Cindy started talking again.

"Your name is Natalie, isn't it?"

"Yes Cynthia, it is."

"Oh just call me Cindy, everyone else does. You know we're going to be here the same time as each other?"

"That's great, Cindy. I like talking to you."

"Yes, it is great to have a roomy. It gets boring in here all by yourself. I was here all day yesterday, with no one to talk to except the nurses."

"Well, I'm glad we met Cindy. I like making new friends."

"I do too. My mom and daddy are coming to see me a little later. Tomorrow they are going to take my appendix out, cause the doctor said it was imflamed or something like that."

"My mom and my sister, are still downstairs yet, but they'll be up here shortly. My sister is 14, and she is so nice. Mom is nice too, but not like having a sister tho."

"I only have two stupid brothers, and they pick on me every chance they get. They think it's funny."

"Yes, Cynthia, the boys used to pick on me too, until Tommy told them to stop."

"Tommy Mason? He's nice. You are so lucky to have him for a friend. I don't see him with his friends anymore tho."

"That's because he told me, that he thought that being tough, meant he had to be a bully. Then he said he met me, and everythng changed. Mom and I have been having talks about him, and about just boys. She wants me to be a lady when I'm with a boy. But I can't go out alone with him tho, I have to see him either at my house or his. And he isn't allowed in my room, and I'm not allowed in his."

"Natalie, when I get out of the hospital, can I come and visit you too. We can play. I like to listen to music too."

"Yes Cindy, you may come and visit us. I'd like to show you my dolls, and what mom got for me, when we went shopping."

"Well young lady, we're not gone long enough and you are already talking about me?" My mom said in a questioning voice, with that family smile.

"Yes mother, we were talking about Cindy coming to visit when she gets out of the hospital."

"That would be nice, dear. I'm glad you made a new friend.

"Thanks mom. Cindy, this is my mom, that's my sister Jill. They have really been so nice to me since I told them I needed to be a girl, forever."

"Hello Cindy, I'm Jill. It is so nice to meet you. Is that nightgown yours, Cindy?"

"Yes Jill it is. I think it's the prettiest one I have."

"Well it certainly is very pretty. Natalie has some that have animals on them too, just like yours, only different, tho."

"Natalie," Jill looked at me with that family smile. "I think mom and I should really be going to get a little lunch, your lunch should be coming shortly. We'll be back later tho. Okay?"

"Ok sis, Cindy and I will be here, I guess." We all giggled a little at that, and mom and Jill left to get their lunch, after giving me a hug and a kiss. They even gave Cindy a hug too, and Cindy thought that was just the greatest thing.

After mom and Jill left, Cindy looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. "Natalie, do your mom and sister always give hugs to your friends?"

"Yes Cindy. Mom and Jill feel that everyone deserves hugs, because hugs are important."

"I love hugs too. My mom says that a hug a day keeps the gloom away. I think she's right, because everytime I get a hug, I feel very happy and warm inside."

"Yes Cindy, me too."

Then the nurse came and said it was time to take my temperature and blood pressure. She put the thermometer under my tongue while she put this thing around my arm and started squeezing a black rubber ball like thing. The pressure started tightening around my arm, and just when my arm felt like it was going to break, she turned a little knob under the ball thing, and the pressure started to go away. When she was done, she said my blodd pressure and temperature were normal, and she left, after smiling when she said.

"All right, you two, I'll be back after lunch, to see how you're doing." We both said all right together, and the nurse left.

"Natalie, Why do they take our blood pressure and temperature?"

"I guess because they want to see if we're all right."

"Yeah, I guess."

We waited just a little while longer and a lady came in with our trays, and set them on the table stand, and raised our beds so we could actually sit up and eat. The lunch was okay, I guess, but it was way too much for me to eat, so I just took and couple of bites from everything, and left the rest. I drank my milk, and then closed my eyes to rest a little. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, the nurse came in to take our trays, and then she woke me up, and asked me if I was feeling all right.

"Yes ma'am."

"Well the reason I ask is because you didn't finish all of your lunch. Aren't you hungry, dear?"

"Yes ma'am, but I don't eat very much. I just took a couple of bites from everything, and I was full. It was a good lunch ma'am, but way too much for me to eat."

"All right, dear." Just as she left with our trays, mom and Jill came back in with two other parents. These must be Cindy's mom and dad.

"Mommy, daddy!" Cindy squealed with delight at seeing her parents come in the room. "I made a new friend today. Her name is Natalie."

The went over by Cindy's bed, while saying hi, and it was nice to meet me. I told them the same, and introduced mom and Jill to them, and they visited with Cindy, mom, Jill, and I for a while, then they all left, saying we needed to get some rest, because tomorrow was going to be a very busy day for both of us. Cindy and I talked some more, then I laid down and fell asleep. I never slept so much during the day, and maybe it was because I wasn't all that sleepy, but all of the things that have happened to me lately, was just tiring, and I was just letting my body rest.

I slept until dinner time, and even this was way too much for me to eat too. There was a different nurse though, than the one that was here at lunch time. I took bites from everything and left the rest. The nurse asked me the same question, the other one did, and I gave her the same answer. She took our trays, and I laid back down after she put my bed back down a little. Mom and Jill came back in after I had eaten, and visited for a while longer.

"Hey sis, I brought a game to play too, do you think Cindy would like to play?"

"Yes I would, thank you JIll."

So we sat at the table in the room, and we played Sorry. I kept getting moved back all the time, and after a while, I finally got a few pieces in home. Then with one pice left, to go, and not that far from home, Cindy let out a squeal.

"I win!" Cindy exclaimed. We all said that was a good game, and did we want to play another, when the nurse came in and said visiting hours were over.

"I won the game," Cindy told the nurse as mom, Jill and Cindy's parents gave us each one of us a hug and then said they would be back tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will have my surgery, and Cindy will have hers too. She had a different doctor than I did, and we would probably be finished about the same time. I told Cindy I was tired, so I laid down and went to sleep. The next morning, the nurse woke me up, and said it was time for me to get ready for my big day. I wonder if they say that to all of the kids who have surgery? They woke Cindy up too, and said the same thing to her.

I was taken from my room, and to the room where they would do my surgery. Mom and Jill had just gotten there, and were smiling.

"Okay honey, we'll be right here until you come out. You'll go into a room where you will sleep for a bit, and then they will take you back to your room."

"Okay mom."

"Good luck sis," Jill said with that infectious family smile.

All I remember about the surgery is, the big bright light in the operating room, and then Mom and Jill were telling me it was about time I woke up.

"It's about time, sleepy head," Jill said as she gave me a kiss on my cheek and a big hug.

"The doctor said everything went fine, dear," mom said, as she also gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek.

"I was sleeping?" I asked puzzled.

"Yes dear, you were sleeping. That's because when they were finished with the surgery the anesthetic hadn't worn off yet, and it still hasn't fully."

"I'll get the nurse," Jill interjected, as she left the room. When she came back, the nurse said:

"Well, young lady, I see that you have finally woke up. That's good. I need to take your temperature, and your blood pressure."

Why do they always have to your temperature and blood pressures, everytime, a new nurse comes on, or you have had an operation, or even an x-ray? I will never understand hospitals, I guess, cause there is so much that they do, that I don't understand. After a bit tho, they finally moved me back to my own room, but Cindy wasn't there yet. I asked the nurse, who again took my temperature and blood pressure, where Cindy was, and she said Cindy was in the recovery room, still sleeping yet. A little while later, Cindy was brought back into the room, and she had her temperature and blood pressure taken too. Hospitals, yuck. The nurse told us both that we would not be having anything solid to eat, until later that night. I don't think I heard anything else after that, cause I went back to sleep for a while.

When I woke up, mom and Jill were sitting by my bed. They both smiled, and mom was brushing the hair out of my eyes. "You were sleeping quite a long time, dear." She was smiling and looking at me, with caring in her eyes. "It is almost time for us to leave, but we will be back tomorrow."

"Okay, mom. I love you."

"And I love you too, dear."

"I love you too, sis," Jill said giving me a kiss and a hug, which mom repeated. "Be good, and we will be back again tomorrow."

"Okay sis, I will." They left and I drifted back to sleep, as they left. Cindy was sleeping too. Whatever they gave me, when I had my operation, kept me sleeping quite a bit. I must have slept through the night, because the next thing I knew, Nurse June was waking me up, with my breakfast tray.

"You two sleepy heads are finally awake, I see," she said with a smile. "Anyway Cindy, Natalie, here is your breakfast, and I will be in later to pick up your trays. Okay?"

"Yes ma'am," I said with with a sleepy tone.

Anyway, what I didn't know was, that mom and the attorney appointed by the children's court were already talking about the name and gender change. I found this out, when mom and Jill came back to visit.

"Good morning, sleepy head. Did you eat all of your breakfast, dear?"

"No mom, I can't eat everything they put on my tray. That is way too much for me."

"All right, dear, don't worry about it then," she smiled and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Sis, you eat like a girl should. A little bit of everything, and then usually we're full. Here's a hug and kiss from me too."

"Thanks sis. Cindy and I went to sleep after breakfast. I was really tired."

"I know dear. How are you feeling tho? Do you have any pain?"

"I have some pain, mom, but I think the pills the nurse is giving me, is making sure I don't have a lot."

"Yes dear. The pills they are giving you, help most of the pain. By the way, I have been talking to the guardian ad litem from the children's court. He is the attorney that will be there to make sure your rights are protected. He said, that when you are out of the hospital for two weeks, I'm to give him a call, and then we will have our hearing to change your name and gender."

"Okay mom. I really don't like being here, but I guess this is the first step."

"Yes it is, dear, and we are very proud of you too, for being so brave about this whole thing."

"Yes sis, and we even got you a very nice present, for when you leave here too."

"What did you get me?"

"Oh no you don't, little sister. This is a surprise, and you can't see it til the day you leave here to come home."

"Oh all right, I guess," I said giving that little pouty lip (smiles).

Mom and Jill were there when Cindy's mom, daddy and her two bratty brothers showed up. Right away they had to start acting up, and Cindy's father made them stand in a corner, until they left. I couldn't help but smile, because Jill had always told me boys could be so rude at times.

"By the way sis, I brought a game I thought we could all play." She took the game out of the bag, and as soon as I saw it, my eyes lit up.

"Oh wow sis, Monopoly. That's my favorite game."

"Mine too," Cindy said.

Mom asked Cindy's parents if they'd like to play with us and Cindy, and they said yes. We had fun, while her brothers stood in the corner. Cindy and I couldn't help but giggle at the boys standing there, with their hands behind them. Our parents probably thought we were giggling about the game, because they didn't say a word.

"Jill, I have a question? How are you going to school, cause you've been here since I got here?"

"I've been picking up my assignments, and while you are here, I get to come and be with you."

"Thanks Jill, you're the greatest sister any girl could ever hope for." I got a hug and a kiss on my forehead for that nice compliment.

"And just what am I, young lady," mom said like her feelings were hurt.

"I love you too, mom. You're the greatest mom a girl could ever hope for." Another kiss on the forehead and a hug.

"Except for my mom," Cindy said and got a big hug and a kiss on the forehead from her mother. Then we all giggled. The boys were still in the corner when the nurse came in.

"My goodness," nurse June said, when she saw the two boys. "No wonder it is so quiet in here." We all giggled, and by then it was lunch time, in which both of our parents said they had to leave for a while, but they would be back. After getting hugs and kisses all around, they left.

The lady who always brought our trays, set them down on the little stand, and moved it over our beds. The she told me to make sure I ate everything. All I said was "yes, ma'am", and then she left. Of course, I couldn't eat everything, because the food was way too much for me, and I ate just a little bit of everything, before I was full. I drank my milk though, and then I was finished. When nurse June came to get our trays, she just shook her head, and said I needed to eat more than what I was, but my blood pressure and temperature were always normal, even tho, I was eating like a bird.

The doctor came in after lunch, just as mom and Jill came in the room. He asked to be excused so that he could talk to me alone, but mom wouldn't hear of it.

"I'm her mother, and I need to know what is going on."

"Very well, Mrs. Crane. Natalie is doing fine, the operation went without any complications, and there is no infection. If she continues to do this well, she will be able to go home in a couple of days."

"That's good doctor. Thank you so much for being so understanding." Mom said beaming from ear to ear.

"You're very welcome, Mrs. Crane. And Natalie, good luck with your life. You are going to make a pretty girl."

"Thank you doctor," I said with a genuine smile. Then he left.

This doctor looked very young, but he was very good at what he did tho. Mom and Jill were glad that maybe I could leave in a couple of days, and so was Cindy.

"Natalie, I will probably still be here for a while after you leave. Will you come and visit me, if you can?"

"Yes Cindy, I will."

Two days go by very quickly, when you are sleeping most of the time, and visiting. Cindy and I talked, and laughed and slept. The nurses were not happy with the way I ate my meals, but I didn't want to be fat, either. Cindy's mom and dad, didn't bring her bratty brothers again to the hospital, when they visited. But, when they found out that I was going to maybe leave before Cindy, they wished me good luck, and gave me hugs and kisses.

"Hello young lady," The doctor said with a smile. "I'm going to examine you, to see how you are doing. If there is no infection, and your blood pressure and temperature are all normal, I will let you go home today. How does that sound, Natalie?"

"That sounds very good, doctor. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, young lady. Now, let's draw these curtains closed so I can see what is going on."

He drew the curtains around my bed, and then lifted my gown up and began looking where he operated. Then he felt around for a bit, and asked if it hurt a lot, and when I said no, he put my gown back down, and opened the curtains back up. Mom and Jill were standing there, with a package in Jill's hands.

"Hey little sister, you get to go home today. How does that sound?"

"All right."

"That's good, because we brought you something. Can you get up, and come with me, so we can see how this surprise looks?"

"Yes sis, I can." I got out of bed, and followed Jill and mom to the restroom, where Jill pulled out of the bag, the nicest dress I had ever seen. It was lace around the neckline, the sleeves and the hem. It was coral in color, and came to my knees. It fit really nice too, and the under garments were placed so they weren't too tight, except for the training bra, which was hooked like it was supposed to be. The shoes that they bought were coral colored mules, with a slight wedge for a heel. After I was dressed, I just couldn't wait to show Cindy. We went out into the room, and I walked over by Cindy.

"See what my mom and my sister got me, Cindy?" I held the sides of the dress, and did a twirl for Cindy.

"Wow Natalie, that is very pretty. You are so lucky."

"Thanks Cindy. I hope you can come to visit me at my house soon, tho. I'd love to show you all the things, I got since started becoming me."

"And I'd like that too, Natalie."

After we had talked for a while, the nurse came in and had mom sign the discharge papers, and said I could leave at any time. I gave nurse June a big hug and thanked her for everything, in which she said I was welcome. Then I gave Cindy a hug too, and promised to visit, then mom, Jill and I left for home. A lady came in with a wheelchair, and wheeled me down to the front entrance, and mom gave a guy a piece of paper, and he came back with our car. As we were driving home, mom decided we should make a stop.

"What do think we should have for dinner, Natalie?"

"Pizza!" Jill exclaimed. we all giggled.

"Shhh Jill, I was asking your sister."

Jill pretended to be hurt by giving that little pouty lip.

"I don't know mom. I think maybe I just want to sleep. I'm very tired yet."

"Okay dear. Yes, the doctor said you might sleep a lot for a few more days yet."

Not only did I sleep for a few days after getting back home, but for the entire two weeks. I slept, ate, slept ate, used the bathroom and took my baths, but mostly I slept. Then mom woke me up one day and asked me if I was ready to go to children's court for my hearing.

"Honey, your guardian ad litem called yesterday, but you were sleeping, so I didn't wake you. He said that our hearing is scheduled for next week Wednesday at one thirty in the afternoon. He also said that a social worker will come to the house, to ask you and all of us questions. Then she will make out a report and give it to the court. All you have to do is answer the questions truthfully."

"All right mom, I will."

I lost track of the days, and on Friday, a lady came to ask me questions.

"Hi Natalie, I'm Mrs. Allen. I'm from the county social services, children's division. It is a longer title than that, but it is so you can understand it. Anyway, I need to ask you some questions, without your mother and sister here. Do you think you can answer them for me?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Okay now, I understand you wish to be a girl. May I ask why?"

"Because ma'am, I feel like a girl. When I put on my sister's outfit that first time, I felt like that is who I was. I mean I never fit in anywhere else, so I had to find somewhere where I did fit in. So I thought one day, how would I fit in, if I was a girl. I went outside, and my sister and her friends were the first one's to talk to me. I was scared, because I thought they were going to make fun of me, but they didn't tho. My sister and her friends were going to the mall to have a soda, and they asked me to go with them, the way I was dressed. There was a boy there, his name is Tommy, and he always picked on me at school. But when he saw me, and knew who I was, he was very nice to me. I was surprised, because he had never been nice, not like he was. Then we left the mall, and came home, and mom was home. So I asked mom, when she finally knew who I was, if I could be Natalie forever."

"Okay, and that is good. Did anyone make you dress like a girl?"

"No ma'am. I needed to find out where I fit in. When I was accepted as a girl, then I knew where I fit in. I was never any good as a boy anyway. I always got picked on, called names, and made fun of. When I tried to play the games the boys did, the said they don't play with girls." Then I looked at the floor, with a very sad look.

"Honey, is there anything wrong?"

"No ma'am. It's just that, why are boys so mean tho? I mean they pick on everyone that is weaker than they are, and as more than one too. I don't understand why that is."

"Natalie, I don't have any more questions for you. I have really heard enough. I'll see you and your mom in court. Goodbye for now, dear."

"Goodbye Mrs. Allen."

After Mrs. Allen had left. mom and Jill wanted to know what she asked, and I told them. I also told them what I had said, and I got hugs and kisses from both of them..

Chapter Seven - The hearing.

Five days can go by very quickly, and it was time for us to go to court. I was all healed by that time, and there was no more pain. I got up and ran my bath. I put in some lavender bath crystals, and let the tub fill up. Then I went to get my clothes out. I picked my nice cream colored dress, with the sleeves that came to just below my elbows, and right at my knees. I picked white underclothes too, white double knit knee socks, and my black Mary Janes. I put a little powder on my face, mascara on my lashes, and a very light lipstick. Then I was ready to go. We all got into the car, and mom drove to the children's court center. We went in and told the officer at the window who we were, and why, and he told us to have a seat, as he made a check mark after my name. When my name was called, mom, Jill and I got up and went into the courtroom.

The judge was an older man, with a blading head, and looked older than my mom. He looked at me as we came in, and the way I sat down, and folded my hands.

"All right, it seems everyone is here. This is a petition from the parent or guardian of one Nathan Crane, a male minor, to change his name to Natalie Ellen Crane, a female minor. The second part of the peition is requesting permission to change the child's gender as well. Before this court can make any decision, there are a number of persons we must hear from. Mrs. Allen, will you give us social services position on this matter."

"Yes your Honor. We did and exhaustive background search on the entire family. We looked for everything we could, and we found no criminal records, and no open or closed CPS cases. When I went to the home to talk to Nathan, the child didn't seem to be coherced, or talking from memory of a practiced speech. What the child told me was from the heart, and I believe this child is the person who "she" claims to be, deep inside of "her". When I talked to the mother and the sister, I found that they accepted Nathan as Natalie, because for the first time in "her" life, "she" was actually happy. We have no objection, your Honor, to the court granting the petition."

"All right, thank you, Mrs. Allen. Now I need to ask the mother and the sister a few questions, and then I will ask the child last. Mrs. Crane, why do you feel your child should become a girl?"

"Your Honor, if you would have known Natalie before now, you'd know that she was never very happy, until she decided to try and become someone she has always been in her soul. I will always accept my child, whether as a boy or as a girl. It is my child's choice."

"Thank you. Jill Crane, why do you think your sibling should be a girl?"

"Because like my mother said she hasn't been happier. We argued a lot, but since she became Natalie, we have been closer than we have ever been. I mean, you'd need to know her before you could suspect she was anything but a girl."

"Thank you. Now before I ask the child any questions, I will ask Dr. Barbara St. Clair, what she thinks should be the court's opinion."

"Thank you, your Honor. When I was first called to come and see Natalie Crane, I felt that maybe I would be meeting a very unruly boy. But it was just the opposite. I met a very demure, and polite young lady, who did nothing masculine, even during my "fishing" trip. She acted as a lady always. I feel the court should change her name and also her gender. I feel she will make a very nice young lady, your Honor."

"Thank you, Dr. St. Clair, as always. Now, Young lady, will you tell this court in your own words, why you want to be a girl?"

"Yes sir. I told Mrs. Allen, when she came to our house, that one day I needed to find out where I fit in. So I went into my sister's room, and looked through some of her clothes, picked out a really nice skirt outfit, some underclothes, and shoes. After I was dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror, that was in her bedroom, and I saw a girl with very short hair. I then went into my mother's room, and got her wig out, and put it on. I had to make sure it fit right, so I put it this way and that way, until it looked like the girls at school. While I was dressed like this, I felt that I should be a girl, because I felt very nice, very much like a girl. Then I decided I needed to see if I fit in as a girl, because as a boy, the boys just told me they don't play with girls. So I went outside, for a walk. When I started walking toward the theater, I saw my sister with two of her friends. I said to myself that it was now or never, and started walking towards them. When I was walking past them, my sister said she had an outfit just like that, then started saying, hey you in the plaid skirt, where did you get that outfit from? When I kept walking, she came up to me, and turned me around to face her, and as she started to ask the question again, she recognized me. When she asked me why was I wearing her clothes, I told her. I told her that I needed to fit in somewhere, but I guess I didn't fit in as a girl either and I was nothing but a stupid boy..."

"What did she say to you then?"

"She told me that I was not stupid, and she looked at me with concern and told me to come with them, because they were just going for a soda at the mall. I went with them, and then this boy Tommy came up and wanted to know what my name was. When I told him who I was, he said that I looked very pretty and hoped I could finally be happy."

"I see. Has this boy seen you since, I mean outside of school?"

"Yes sir. He asked me if he could be my boyfriend...."

"And how did you feel about that?"

"...I was well, like I was surprised, and I was a little confused too. I mean, sir, I am only eleven years old, and I thought that I would have to talk to my mom about whether or not I was too young to have a boyfriend. My mom told me that depends on what I meant by "boyfriend" and what kind of feelings I had for Tommy. I told her I really didn't know. Not then, I didn't. I still don't know tho. I mean, because Tommy was always rude and mean to me. he and his friends always called me names, made fun of me, and beat me up a lot too. But since I decided to become Natalie, he hasn't been hanging around with his friends, and he has been over at my house a lot since then."

"If they could make you a girl right now today, would you like that?"

"Oh yes sir, I would. More than anything in the whole wide world."

" I see. All right, young lady, that will be all. Does anyone here, those who testified, or those who haven't, have any objections to this child being called Natalie Ellen Crane, a female?" He waited for a few minutes, and when no one said anything, he looked back at the papers on his desk, and then he began. "Hearing no objections, and only favorable comments by all the concerned parties, it is the order of this court That Nathan Edward Crane, a male minor child, be known now and forever as, Natalie Ellen Crane, a female minor child. It is so ordered and this court is adjourned."

After the court hearing, and I was now a girl, at least officially. Then we went to the mall, and had lunch. Of course wouldn't you know it, Tommy's old friends just happened to be there. They came over and taunted me while mom and Jill were getting our lunch. Jill must have seen what was going on, and she came over and asked them what they thought they were doing.

"Hey sweets, we're just askin' your little sister how she likes bein' a queer."

"That is so good. Did all three of you think of that each on your own, or in your collective, brainless heads?"

"Hey now sweets, don't get angry, we just wanted to know is all."

"That's good, because if you don'tleave and quit picking on Natalie, I'll tell Tommy, and you will have to make sure he doesn't find either of you." Then their game was over, and they left.

"Collective, brainless heads? My Jill, that was good," Mom said setting our tray down on the table. Jill and I decided we should tell Tommy anyway, so that those three creeps would leave me alone forever. But that was yet to come, and this was now, so we weren't going to worry about it. My name is Natalie Ellen Crane, I am a girl, and I have a loving mother and sister, as well as a nice boyfriend, and accepting teachers. Life is going to be very good, from now on.

Huh? Oh Yes, so I'm eleven years old, and your problem with that is?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a work of fiction. But it can be a confidence building tool too for transsexuals of all ages. It is my hope, that those who read this, will see that we are just ordinary and normal women, who only want to get along, and live our lives as normal as possible. Just remember though, that there are women who are born barren and will never have a monthly cylce or be able to bear children. That does not make them any less of a woman either. And neither does being transsexual. Being a woman is more than just a body though. It is a whole way of thinking, attitude, physical feelings, caring, nurturing, and being able to stand up to a lot of things men only wish they could. And, even though men can care too, and cry and have feelings, they will never be able to do it the way we do, because our feelings are all hormonal and affect our entire bodies.

Thank you,

Barbara Lynn Terry
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."



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