The Deception of Choice. The Epilogue

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A night at the opera for Grace and Helen and Francesca. And, as is appropriate, and traditional, and altogether in keeping with the reverence for the eternal verities that has so marked the telling of this tale, the end is signalled when the fat lady sings..

Not that anyone would ever call that epitome of svelte elegance, Grace de Messembry, fat! Even if she were surely no-one would dare? No I speak metaphorically only of course..

So no more secrets as we, you and I dear reader, eavesdrop from our privileged position in the back of the Royal Box at Covent Garden on the three guiding lights of the Venumar Foundation. The plain unvarnished, well relatively so, truth that no-one except you and I ........... .

But hush .... Listen .... Look .... The auditorium is stilled in expectancy. The baton raised, twice tapped, raised again. Poised .... Ssshhhhh ....

~ THE EPILOGUE ~

She sat well back in her box. Below her an anticipatory buzz and the rustling of programmes mingled with the sound of seats being raised, lowered, raised again, and of shuffling footsteps as the audience found their places and settled in.

From her vantage point Grace de Messembry could see the empty orchestra pit, still unlit. A good twenty minutes yet before the performance commenced. Plenty of time for a little chat first, to open the champagne and toy with the caviare and assorted amuse-gueules. It was after all a celebration. Such a successful year. Ending on such a high note with Helen back from the Far Hast and herself returned from the States via Brussels. All done and dusted with considerably enhanced funding from all quarters guaranteed for the foreseeable future. And reports from Helgarren and the the other pilot schemes abroad so very promising. All running like clockwork. One could be forgiven for feeling just the teeniest bit smug.

There was the sound of footsteps outside, quiet voices. The others were here. The door opened and Helen Vanbrugh and Dr. Francesca Pinecoffin sidled in.

“Not only the Grand Tier, but the Royal Box. You do us proud Grace.”

“You, we all, deserve it Francesca. But don't thank me, it's courtesy of that little creep Charles .... whatever his name is .... you know that Minister of Science and Technology chap. The one consolation of having to put up with his company at the Helgarren Ball. I happened to mention that I adored opera and the poor lamb arranged it all.”

“Helen can I ask you to open the champagne. It is something I have never learnt to do. My dear father always said that drinking it and opening it required two entirely different procedures and that no one could be expected to master both. If God had meant me to open bottles he wouldn't have created butlers.”

“Give it to me Grace. You are such a snob! Anyway if you feel so strongly about it why didn't you bring him?”

“God or my butler, Helen? I don't know about the former but alas the latter doesn't like opera. He has made his feelings quite clear on the subject and I dare not cross him. Butlers of his standard of excellence are a dying breed and have to be deferred to in all things.”

“Don't believe a word of it Helen. She is just being her usual devious self because she doesn't want to risk her nails. I happen to know that her butler absolutely adores both her and opera in almost equal measure.”

“You're such a traitor Francesca. A less generous soul would rescind the offer of a glass after that betrayal of confidence, but alas my forgiving nature .... “ Grace sighed and shook her head in sorrow at this evidence of her own weakness as she accepted the glass Helen proffered.

“To the Venumar Foundation, and to us!”

“To the Venumar Foundation, and to us!” Helen and Francesca murmured

The three sipped the champagne appreciatively.

“You both had good trips, I understand.”

“Yes Francesca. Both of us. Really beyond all expectation. The phrases 'Strength to Strength' and 'Sky's the Limit' spring to mind.”

Dr. Pinecoffin shook her head. “It's all rather beyond me. I still don't fully understand it. How you have managed to convince them to fund it in the first place .... Why they are so eager to fund it on an ever increasing scale ...”

Grace de Messembry took another sip from her glass.

“We are all they have. We are the ones that can offer them a solution. The only solution indeed.”

“But it isn't is it? I mean it is all so theoretical what we can do. OK we can change the mind set of men, some men. We can persuade them to accept feminine life styles and attitudes. To act as females, even to opt for, or at least accept, surgical intervention so that they conform physically .... The Venumar Group of companies have developed expertise, unrivalled expertise indeed, in all aspects of feminising men. But it is still a slow process and one which demands constant, expert, individual attention to each candidate. .... And have to put what we can do against the needs of one hundred and eleven million celibate males in China alone. I don't see how it works.....”

“Francesca darling you have led far too sheltered a life cloistered away in Helgarren. We shall have to arrange for you to get out more.”

Grace de Messembry helped herself to a spoonful of caviare spreading it carefully on a sliver of dry toast.

“The first lesson is that I didn't claim, to you at any rate, that it would work. That would be as foolish as claiming categorically that it wouldn't. Solutions don't have to work. They just have to be perceived as solutions. Possible, probable, unlikely, imaginative, ground breaking, lateral, Pick any description that appeals.”

Perfect, even, white teeth closed over a small piece of dry toast. In the slight pause that followed Helen Vanbrugh took up the thread.

“Ours is just the best on offer, Francesca. Largely because no one has come up with anything else. As a solution it is the only player on the field.”

“The second thing to remember dear, “ Grace de Messembry swallowed, passed the tip of her tongue over her lips, and resumed, ”is that the more desperate people are for a solution, the less inclined they are to doubt that solution's infallibility. The need for a solution, for something that they can believe in, for something that allows them to sleep at night, eclipses any doubt. The natural reaction of a drowning man is not to shun a straw because of a well founded scepticism as to its qualities of buoyancy, but to seize it as the the best life saving solution on offer.”

Dr. Pinecoffin nodded thoughtfully. “Yesssss ..... I can understand that but .....”

“Put it in context Francesca darling. One hundred and eleven million is a starting figure. Over all Asia one can perhaps double it. All sex starved. All needing women of which the only available ones belong to their neighbours. And not just sex. There is a natural desire, an overwhelming desire for families, for companionship. Beyond that economies depend on women. Particularly in primitive societies. A male needs a female in order to be an economic unit. To provide the children that are his only chance of surviving into old age. Think of that not only on an individual scale, but on a regional one, on a national one.”

“Where can they get women? How can they survive without them? They will have to take them. Take them from someone else.”

“And all that against the background of the collapse of societies, of economies, of agriculture, of death, and of migration, Migration across national boundaries because such will have little meaning to starving populations.”

Again Grace de Messembry paused, spread a little caviare on toast, bit, washed it down with a sip from her glass.

“The possible consequences, the probable conflicts, darling Francesca, make the so called War on Terror resemble a pub brawl at closing time on a Saturday night in one of our sleepier provincial market towns. Not that it wouldn't give dissident extreme religious factions an ideal opportunity to pursue their own agendas. All those little groups marching behind their ragged banners to the tune of 'Happy Days Are Here Again'. As for the rest ....”

Grace de Messembry shrugged her shoulders, the necklace low around round her neck shedding sudden fire at the movement.

“.....dominoes. The Himalayas around which cluster China, India, Bangladesh and Pakistan which in turn borders Afghanistan which borders Iran which borders Iraq...... all dominoes. And on the other side of China, North Korea which is not the most stable of places even in normal times .... Shall I list them all?”

There was a slight disturbance below them. The orchestra was making its way into the pit, instruments being manoeuvred into place, little lights going on over the music stands.

Helen refilled their glasses.

“Grace is right Francesca. It doesn't bear thinking about. And they try not to think about it too much. But they are all worried. They have to be. The United Nations, the EEC, the States, Australasia, Canada, France .....us. And most of all China, India, Russia. Everybody. Worried did I say? .... Scared shitless is how it was expressed to me by a leading diplomatic figure in Washington.”

“But why is it never mentioned? Global Warming is a subject never out of the newspapers, never off our screens, boringly so even. Why if Asian sex-ratios are such a big problem isn't it ever mentioned?”

“Darling Francesco you really will have to get out more. For the simple reason they don't know what to do about it. Nobody does. Our government isn't going to draw attention to it because even the great British public might eventually get round to asking what they are going to do about it. And if they do ask what would they reply? It would tax even politicians who have made a lifetime career out of their ability to not answer questions. '....Er we'll think of something don't worry ....' is not likely to be good enough. Might even result in people asking even more questions. It is the same with all the so called Western democracies. And the governments of places like China and Russia have never had any irresistible inclination to share their thought processes with their populations.”

“But where does our solution come into it then? I still don't see ....?”

From below came isolated notes on oboe, violin and cello as the orchestra commenced to tune up.

“We are the Emperor's new clothes Francesca darling,” smiled Helen Vanbrugh holding up the bottle to see the level of the remaining champagne before carefully sharing it out.

“Well not really Helen. We do in fact exist, do in fact offer something, although I do see your point in so much as we are perhaps more effective when not examined too closely. And in the meantime governments, the UN, all, can feel comfortable in the fact that they are wearing something, that their nakedness is not exposed to public view, that the size of their genitals is not the subject of ribald mockery by an irreverent public.”

Grace de Messembry sipped her drink thoughtfully.

“Apart from being their comfort, their one hope, their possible saviour, what we offer the democratic nations is insurance against the slings and arrows of outraged voters. When it, as it eventually must, all does come out, when they finally are asked 'What have you done, what are you doing about it?' They will be able to say, with their hand on their heart “Her Majesty's Government has been cognisant of the problem and its potential for international conflict for some time now and has taken all necessary steps to mitigate any unfortunate repercussions that might otherwise befall this sceptred isle, this jewel set in a silver sea, this fortress built by nature.... etc., etc.... They will be able to publish a Government White Paper to this effect thus absolving themselves, in their own eyes at least, from any possible accusation of having done sod all.”

Dr. Pinecoffin laughed softly

“But what when someone asks them 'But what actually have you done?' What then?”

“Why then they will be able to say that they have spent many millions on it and have made ample provision for increased expenditure in the future to ensure that the current programme of research, that they have instigated in collaboration with the USA, the EEC, and the countries of the Commonwealth, under the aegis of the United Nations, will lead to a successful solution of the problem.”

“All of which, well the spending of millions bit anyway, is of course completely true. As our bankers can verify. Not that they ever would of course. Nasty things can happen, even to bankers.”

“And if someone asks what exactly does this research involve?”

The childlike innocence that shone frank and true in Grace de Messembry's green eyes was tinged with pity as she regarded her colleague.

“Dear, darling Francesca, I expect they will pass on to any such enquirers exactly what we have told them. Research into psychological profiling using the experienced gained in our internationally recognised contribution to helping the gender dysphoric, the sexually dysfunctional, and society's basket cases in general. Cutting edge, pardon the pun, surgical and pharmacological technologies. A break through in the use of stem cells in the development of female physical attributes, both secondary and primary, which it is hoped will also give new hope to breast cancer sufferers.”

Grace de Messembry drew breath in a somewhat exaggerated fashion.

“The establishment of a network of overseas Research Establishments to relate these findings to the physical and psychological characteristics of different ethnic groupings. The development of new and improved hormonal treatments including the suppression of testosterone production. Access to our database of more than twelve billion units of genetic information from which springs our award winning exploration of the human genome identifying those genes and tiny 'point mutations' controlling sexual proclivities. The comparative studies of DNA allowing us to analyse specifically female behavioural patterns. Our continuing research using the same methodology and data to tease apart the role of nature and nurture in the creation of a person's psyche. The exploration and testing of new counselling techniques .... “

“Stop it Grace! It is starting to give me a headache.”

“If you insist Francesca dear. The list goes on and on. It is practically endless conforming to the old principle that the greater the number of answers one gives to one simple question, the less any of them will be remembered, let alone be seriously subject to scrutiny. And of course it is so helpful that they are all rather boring and that lay listeners almost invariably develop headaches when subject to their recitation.”

Grace finished her champagne and looked at the glass as if surprised to find it so soon empty.

“But they won't ask Francesca darling. Science is all too difficult. No-one can concentrate long enough to understand it. Certainly not the great British public and its stalwart defenders, the popular press, whose only passing acquaintance with the more exacting disciplines is limited to statistics within the range of 36 to 44 inches. The bigger the better of course just as with Government spending.”

“All that matters is money. Tell them that millions have been spent on their behalf and everyone is happy in the knowledge that something is being done about whatever it is. They might ask the question 'what' but they are unlikely to listen to the answer and even less likely to understand it.”

“And the Opposition Grace?”

“Oh we have taken the precaution of keeping them well informed all along. They are, as it were, tarred with the same brush. They can hardly ask searching questions of the Government later when they didn't sooner. They have the same problem with Iraq. Having, being seized with a patriotic fervour which I can only assume was alcohol fuelled, supported the launching of an illegal war they are on somewhat less than firm ground in criticising it now. All they can say is that they were lied to. Which just makes them seem incompetent. And I haven't lied to them.”

Again a sigh

“They just never seem to learn. Fortunately. And fortunately of course Governments seem to be the same the world over. Having gone this far it would be difficult for anyone to break ranks. Besides they really haven't any other options open. We do offer the only solution they have.”

Grace de Messembry put down her empty glass. Smiled in satisfaction.

“And do you think our solution will work Grace?”

The smile broke into a small cry of not-quite-suppressed mirth.

“Francesca, dear you are hoot! Such a delight! What a question! I have not the slightest idea. It is not our problem. We only provide the research and ultimately the technical know-how should it be required. It is for others to put it into practice. Can they translate it into an actuality involving millions? Who knows? Personally I would doubt it very much. But then if I had been consulted at the time, I would have doubted their ability to cut three hundred million per annum off their birth rate by managing to persuade or coerce their people into having only one child per family. That would also be quite unthinkable here. Perhaps they can. Starvation, desperation, can make people violent but it can also make them malleable. People will submit to a lot if the alternative is death.”

A shrug of elegant shoulders. Dismissive.

“But I don't know. As I said, it is not my, not our, concern. All we do is provide a feasible solution for others to apply.”

A silence had fallen on the auditorium. A silence of expectation.

“I was going to ask you Grace ..... about Sophie. I wondered if you had had any news .....”

The opening notes of the overture filled the air. The heavily reiterated chords of the Magic Flute.

Grace de Messembry laid her forefinger to her lips, “Later Helen,” she mouthed as she sank back in her chair, absorbed in the music, a slight frown of concentration on her brow.

--------------------------

Hardly had the curtain swept back over the stage marking the end of the First Act than there was a discrete knock at the door followed by the entry of a waiter carrying an ice bucket in which lay another bottle of champagne.

“The Minister must have formed the impression that we are all alcoholics.”

“Better that than he believe us teetotallers Francesca.” said Grace de Messembry smiling at Helen in an invitation for her to resume her duty as hostess.

“You were going to tell us the news about Sophie Grace?” asked Helen, easing the cork out of the bottle.

“Pity she is not here. She would have appreciated the Temple of Ordeal and the Queen of the Night does sound a little like you Grace.”

“Really Francesca you make me sound quite an ogress. I was always most protective of her welfare. We used to have such cosy little chats. I quite miss them.”

“More a Papagena character perhaps Grace dear?”

“I don't catch birds Helen, I create them. Surely you must have noticed?”

The three clinked glasses, smiling at each other.

“To Sophie,” prompted Helen.

Grace sipped her champagne reflectively.

“Poor Sophie was always handicapped because she thought we wanted her to be a girl. It coloured her thinking. When of course we only wanted to observe what she became. To find whether the techniques work or to research other, more effective or more efficient, ones. To see if we could.- well we knew we could - but the means of persuasion needed, still needs, honing.”

“But Grace it could not have been easy for her. I did not know her so well .... but it must have been difficult for her. Impossible even, to see herself impersonally, just a victim of circumstances. To have her life changed simply because she had small feet and hands, a delicate bone structure; because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, with no close friends or relatives.”

“Life doesn't come with guarantees Francesca. I understand that the American politicians often employ the admirably succinct, albeit rather vulgarly unimaginative, phrase 'shit happens' when faced with adverse circumstances. And so it does. All too frequently I am afraid. Sophie could have died at birth, or with her parents, or have been the victim of innumerable tragic happenings far worse than those which occurred at Helgarren.”

Helen sighed. ”It sounds better when you rationalise it Grace. Easy when one is dispassionate. And I know it is my fault for being so sentimental but I really got quite fond of her though and I feel.... well I feel I could have done more perhaps to help. Feel even a little guilty.....”

“And so you should Helen dear .... at least I never misled her. From me she always had the truth, or as much of it as was good for her, hateful though it might have appeared. And anyway I was, am, quite fond of her too. I wouldn't have wasted so much time with her if I hadn't been, I wouldn't have. ....”

“God, you are such an old hypocrite Grace dear. I think you must make it up as you go along. I....”

“Ladies, ladies,” Dr. Pinecoffin held up her hands in mock despair. “You forget I am not privy to all the background to this. Just a simple administrator stuck in her ivory tower I. Some of what happened latterly I am aware of of course, but before, at the Holding Wing and before that .... Well I am rather in the dark.”

“It is quite simple Francesca. No great mystery involved. Things were progressing smoothly. Sophie was responding very well to the programme. She has a high intelligence quotient which is of course a great advantage in any one transitioning. Her responses to suggestions and instructions both in the open and the subliminal training programmes were adjudged to be most satisfactory. Her progress in the adoption of feminine mannerisms, the assiduity with which she mastered the skills and habits so essential to any modern young lady, were the source of great self-congratulation amongst her tutors.”

“It wasn't all plain sailing of course,” interjected Helen, “there was the odd hiccup. Her being knifed by Coralie and ending up in hospital for example. Although in a way that all worked out well too. She was terrified that her part in it, of her hiding the knife to use later in an escape attempt of her own, would be discovered and that she would be packed off to Rehabilitation. Terrified and therefore all the more conscious of the need for her to toe the line, to conform, to accept, to convince us of her compliance in her feminisation.”

“Such a useful thing terror. Fame may well be a spur but it is but a pale shadow when compared to terror. A word so loosely used by politicians nowadays that it has alas lost all impact.”

Grace de Messembry smiled.

“Where would we be without it? Not the mundane fear of death, nor the remote possibility that something unpleasant might conceivably happen, but the sure and certain knowledge that within the next half hour something unspeakable will occur that will destroy all that you know of as you, that in a few minutes your worst fears will be realised if ..... if you put one foot wrong, stray one inch over a barely visible, erratic, line. The concept of Rehabilitation has been such a godsend to us. And the amusing part is ....”

“Amusing?” Dr Pinecoffin's eyebrows arched high.

“Well in a one sided sort of way, yes Francesca, amusing. Amusing in so much as the last thing we wanted to do was to send Sophie there. It was bad enough with Coralie, but with her we had no choice. Our bluff had been called as it were. We couldn't not send her there after she had tried to kill me, not after we had threatened to do so for such comparatively minor offences such as not sitting down to pee. We were hoist by our own petard.”

“Grace is right Francesca dear. Rehabilitation makes a wonderful threat, but is flawed as a process. At worst people seek death afterwards. Olive is the prime example here, but it has happened in other centres abroad. At best they emerge but empty shells of what they once were. Varying from near automatons to vaguely disturbed like Coralie. And she is a late example when the process has been much improved..People are infinitely variable, react in a multitude of ways. We can never be certain what we are going to produce.”

“And it has other drawbacks.” Grace de Messembry took up the thread. “It is costly. The end product is flawed and can be quite worthless. We are vulnerable to its discovery. Practically all of the rest of our operation is so inextricably bound up with more socially accepted research projects, or can be explained away without too much embarrassment, but not Rehabilitation in all its glory. And it has an adverse effect on staff morale. Dear Tabatha is apoplectic whenever it is mentioned. Perhaps it has a future but it is far from the finished article and until it is, the less we have recourse to it the better.”

Dr. Pinecoffin nodded.

“To get back to Sophie ..... Why did Grace imply you lied to her, to Sophie, Helen“

“Well as Grace said, it was all going swimmingly. So much so that we decided to fast track Sophie. We needed, still need, to cut down on delivery times. And costs come into it. It all sprang from a comment made by Tabatha. The good doctor mentioned that the long term effects of what she called our brainwashing techniques were cumulative. That if we stopped all treatments on a given subject after a certain stage then the feminisation process would continue willy-nilly. That there was a point of no return, as it were, after which further treatment was a luxury. The fact that the water is no longer boiling does not mean that the egg is no longer cooking. There is a residual effect that will carry the subject all the way home. So we needed a subject that was still only partially cooked as it were.”

“Such as Sophie?”

“Yes Francesca, such as Sophie. Anne had already had a taste of Rehabilitation remember which ruled her out; anyway she was further down the road to girlhood. Already reconciled to it. Whereas we knew from Tabatha's somewhat guarded comments that Sophie certainly was not. And by chance we had a vacancy in the next intake to the Finishing Centre at Helgarren Hall. Caused, as it happened, by another adverse reaction to Rehabilitation. So we decided to send Sophie before she was really ready. It was ideal because we could both measure her progress against Anne's and the latter would also be an invaluable support for her. They had become great friends and a source of mutual strength. For much the same reason we promoted Emma to a staff position where she would have continued contact with the two of them. One happy family. We wanted minimise the risk of any mental breakdowns. We had no other suitable candidate on the horizon.”

Helen, paused, sipped her champagne. Then repeated.

“We had no other suitable candidate on the horizon. And needed to be sure she was up to it mentally. So we needed to give her hope. She had to believe that all would end well. We couldn't let her go immediately of course because she needed to learn more. Needed to be able to pass easily as a female in the world outside. But we needed her to remain mentally resilient”

Grace de Messembry smiled wolfishly.

“So Helen had to lie to her, or mislead her as she prefers to think of it. Sophie needed to think that she would not be taking the hormones. It had to be presented as a bargain because nobody believes in free lunches any more. Even so it wouldn't have made sense if I had proposed it to her. But it would if Helen did because Sophie seemed to trust her.”

“It was all quite easy really. Helen fed her the lie between large slices of truth. And of course Sophie wanted, was desperate, to believe her. Had already half convinced herself that she might be able to help. Liked her even.”

“I liked her,” Helen sighed. “And that meeting when at last she faced me down with the truth was one of the most wretched ten minutes I have ever had. I shall never forget her face. I had nothing to say to her. I couldn't explain the rest.”

“The rest being that she would in fact be getting a chance?”

“Yes Francesca. A chance of a sort. Some say in her destiny. But you know the rest.”

“A lot of it. After her breasts appeared, after the tipping point had been reached, it was necessary for her to escape.”

“Yes. We couldn't just let her go. Open the doors and pat her on the back with a leaving present and our best wishes for whatever life would bring because .... “

“.... because she would tell the world,” Grace de Messembry broke in. “She needed to be still terrified of us. To hide from us and in doing so hide from society in general. Whatever she did, however she lived, it must be secretly. Additionally she must not be able immediately on release to seek the latest medical opinion to rectify her situation. It would rather spoil the object of the exercise to have someone take her into a Remedial Centre for the next six months to try to undue what we had devoted so much time, money, and ingenuity to doing.”

“The only problem with her escaping was of your doing Francesca.”

“You refer to the security cable and the enhancer ring that Dr. Walters and I told all the girls about Helen? “

Grace de Messembry sighed. “Oh what a tangled web we weave when once we practice to deceive. It was a brilliant idea Francesca to keep people in, to ascribe totally false qualities to Uncle Silas' enhancer, but unfortunately we couldn't tell them it wasn't true without destroying the threat of painful castration and possible death which long term did normally serve such a useful purpose.”

“Ideally we wanted Sophie away earlier, she was already becoming worryingly reconciled to her feminisation and increasingly seemed to lack the necessary strength of purpose, but the Helgarren Ball was the first opportunity we had. We knew of course they were plotting like mad, and it really was quite funny to think that both Grace and I on one side, and Anne, Emma, and Sophie on the other, were wracking our brains to find a solution to the same problem. Finally it was Grace who rather lost patience with the whole set up and just cut the Gordian Knot by writing Sophie a note to say that the Gateway was clear the night in question”

“I just thought I would drop it in myself to avoid complications and secretaries' gossip, but as luck would have it Sophie was late for her evening drinkies with the girls and I met her just by the fountain. It gave me the opportunity to wind her up a little about her approaching femininity. To underline that it was now or never if she was to avoid the destiny we had planned for her. Stiffen the resolve, if stiffen is a word she still recognises.”

Grace de Messembry permitted her self a most un-Grace like smirk at the vulgarity of the thought.

“So as soon as she had gone I slipped back and was about to post it under her door when it struck me that she would recognise my perfume. It is distinctive, expensively so, and the note would have been quite permeated with it by then. So I rather acted on the spur of the moment. I had a clementine in my bag from which I sprayed a little of the zest onto the paper. Then I thought I may have made it a little too obvious, so I drew little wren in the corner. Just to give them something else to think about. To distract them.”

“And that was it?”

“Yes Francesca. That was it. It was all they needed. By they I include Anne and Emma. I don't think that Sophie could have done it without those two. I must say they were quite splendid. I think they will prove an asset to The Foundation long term. I managed to extract the rough details of what happened later from Simon. Not much because Anne obviously has managed to put the fear of God into him, but enough to know that she showed considerable qualities of leadership, not to mention an encouraging degree of brutality. And after that, well I was fortunate to arrive on the scene just in time to see Sophie's head bobbing around behind the cars and to see a boot lid rise and close. So I hung around to make sure that she didn't complicate things further by getting out of the car, whilst I rang Helen and she sent Amanda down to drive Sophie to the station. Just in time for the last London train.

“And now? Do we know ...”

On cue, providing a timely punctuation mark, the orchestra sprang into life and the curtain rose to reveal a palm grove with an unlikely population of priests. Again Grace de Messembry's finger was at her perfect lips, bidding silence.

-----------------------

Afterwards when bows had been taken, when the cast had been called back again and again to receive the enthusiastic plaudits of the audience, before the latter, their voices loud in appreciative comments on the performance, began to filter slowly out of the theatre, Helen, secure in their box, replenished their three glasses with champagne.

“It is just like a pantomime really. Forget all the intellectual posturings about Obscurantism and Masonic Symbolism, it's just really a pantomime for grown-ups.” she said.

“Pantomimes are for grown-ups also. Proper ones anyway without TV celebrities cluttering them up. The Magic Flute has far far better tunes though. And better singers too, although Principal Boys usually have better legs than those gracing an opera stage. And....”

“Grace save the musical insights till later. What happened to Sophie?”

“Sophie? Well as you know, as indeed we told her, we have always maintained the flat for her. It would be quite unethical of us to do otherwise. So everything was long prepared. The secret drawer with all her, or rather his, birth certificates etc. undisturbed. All her favourite CDs and DVD's left out for her. She took more or less what we expected. No electrical equipment or laptop though, she really has developed an unattractively suspicious nature, but she did take the photograph of her parents. The one in the silver frame. And then to the garage for the car, lucky we remembered about the battery, and away she went.”

“She sold the car in Bristol so that tag went, rather as we expected it would, and she must have bought another privately in Exeter because the next contact we had was going north on the M5 and M6. She showed up the VenuMed and VenuTech screens at Cheltenham and Knutsford respectively and then at the new Stem Cell Laboratories outside Preston. But nothing registered at our Lockerbie installation, so....”

“But if she had got rid of the tagged car? .... How did you track her?”

“Helen dear we had a double blip all the way. Firstly from the enhancer ring which is quite the latest thing in passive tracking devices. It has no connection with the Uncle Silas. It is only round the penis because it is really rather difficult to get rid of there. I mean one can chop a finger off but messing around with the sort of cutter you would need to have to disembarrass oneself of that .... well it would give even the most confident amateur pause for thought. It reacts to signals up to a range of up to thirty five miles in ideal conditions and is very accurate. Also from the photograph frame. That's in another league altogether of course, large aerial, more room for the technical gubbins, giving satellite linkage. But we could not be really sure that Sophie would take it with her, although we were fairly confident, and rightly so as it turned out.”

“And so you know where she is?”

“Of course Francesca. She has a darling little cottage in Ullswater. Quite idyllic and just the place for her to come to terms with .... well with whatever she does eventually come to terms with. We guessed where she was going as soon as she passed Preston.”

“How? There is nothing in her file about the Lake District. Did she talk of it to Tabatha?”

“I don't think so Francesca. And if she had Tabatha wouldn't have told us. You know how stuffy and old fashioned she is about patient confidentiality. No not Tabatha, but it just shows how all the latest gadgetry is no match for simply keeping your eyes open. It saved us a lot of time, particularly as even the latest in surveillance equipment is severely limited in mountain terrain. And she could always have gone east into Northumbria.”

“Stop preening yourself Grace. You can be quite unbearably smug. Just tell us how you guessed.”

“The photograph Helen darling, When we took the frame off in order to modify it, there on the back was scrawled in pencil 'With David.- Ullswater - August 1993.' Quite touching really. And it made the final screening so much simpler. Helicopters are such an expense.”

There was a discrete tap at the door. Nothing else. Just a tap to let them know that their evening tenancy of the box was drawing to its close.

Grace de Messembry eyed the champagne bottle. “One should always leave some in the bottle don't you think? It not only shows a commendable degree of moderation but there is also something exquisitely satisfying in being wasteful, particularly where luxuries are concerned. Although admittedly champagne is more of a staple, still .... one has to start somewhere.”

Helen finished her glass. “Added to which we have had quite enough, Francesca looks quite flushed and I should never forgive myself if she were to start accosting complete strangers on her way home. There are enough ladies of easy virtue in London already without Francesca enlisting in their merry throng.”

“Don't worry Helen. I can give her a lift home. Amanda has arranged for the Rolls to pick me up.”

“Don't be such a spoilsport Grace. She may well be looking for a little excitement to round off the evening. Otherwise she can share my taxi. We live practically next door to each other.”

Dr. Pinecoffin laughed. “Helen's taxi will be fine. Excitement can wait. But you still haven't told us what will happen to Sophie now. What will she come to terms with in her little cottage? Being Sophie?”

“That is the whole point of the exercise Francesca. That is what we are interested in finding out. Will the egg continue to cook? Have we judged the situation, judged Sophie indeed, correctly? I suppose it all depends on Sophie.”

“How?”

“Well can she overcome her addiction for a start? Tobacco is an addiction according to some who are slaves to it. To others it is a habit that anyone with a bit of will power can overcome with little or no trouble. Addictions are so unpredictable and vary from one person to another. Dr Walters told Sophie the hormones were, in conjunction with those appalling OGTA cartridges, quite drastically addictive but the truth is we don't really know. How could we? The hormone tablets are commercially available to the general public and so addiction to them is out of the question .... she was being a little economical with the truth there. The cartridges are indeed addictive and there may be some linkage with the tablets too but how strong it is .... well we do not have enough research data on human consumption to be sure. Rats and chimpanzees are one thing but the severity of addiction in humans is .... well uncertain. Sophie is a test case.”

“It sounds as if she may well beat the system yet then?”

“Well yes Francesca, but there is more to it than Grace says. The Uncle Silas is effective even if only for reasons which nobody seems certain about. It does stop, or at least severely inhibits, the production of testosterone. And Sophie is at an advanced stage of her conditioning. Not only is she subject to continuous subliminal urgings to adopt femininity, to surrender herself to it, but she is also subject to constant persuasion that the hormones and cartridges are addictive. She has to first find the resources from within herself to question that, to put it to the test. And how severe that test is? Well even we don't know.”

“But Helen .... Sophie isn't being conditioned now is she? You say 'is subject to constant persuasion' — the present tense, but away from Helgarren we can no longer ....”

“Dear Francesca, we are not as careless as all that. Why do you think we left all those CD's and DVD's handily placed in Sophie's London flat? She will still receive our little encouragements. And of course free CD's, DVD's, through the post, special offers, that kind of thing. Even TV repair men can work wonders. We are not quite toothless. Dear Sophie is still under our care.”

The three of them walked together down the now almost deserted corridors, leaving the warmth of the box and its half empty bottle of champagne behind.

“It's the old truism Francesca. It's all in the mind. It always has been. At Helgarren, even in the Holding Wing. Once out of Reception, Sophie has never been physically forced to do anything. Threatened yes, but never compelled. She will deny it fiercely of course and it is true that she has had before her the example of others such as Olive and Coralie who were. But with her the battle has always been in her mind.”

“You really are an old fraud Grace. All in her mind you say. But a mind living in a body that any third party would think of as being female. With pert boobs and an increasingly curvaceous rear. When she looks in her mirror in the morning and affirms her masculinity there must surely be question marks, a nagging doubt as it were, that perhaps .....?”

“You're splitting hairs Helen darling. It was not always so. That it is now is of course an added complication from her point of view. Another obstacle that she must surmount to regain. .... to regain whatever she had before....”

“”Are you referring to her masculinity Grace dear?”

Grace de Messembry's eyebrows shot up in mock horror. “That's a little word that we just don't use in this company Helen dear.”

And then

“If she does choose, and regains, the path back then .... well good luck to her. We will have to refine our processes. We will have learnt much of value. If it were to fall out that way we would no longer interfere. She, or he rather, would have nothing further to fear from us. As long as our own integrity was not threatened of course. Otherwise it doesn't matter. It is no longer our concern although we have the responsibility of goodwill.”

“And if she doesn't. If she truly becomes Sophie?”

“It works both ways Francesca. Helgarren may have prepared her to be a woman but it has given her little experience in living as one in the outside world. It will be another test for her. And one which will provide us with invaluable data. And of course we will have a better idea as to the efficacy of a cost saving truncated programme. ”

“And we would welcome her back. If she wanted, if she needed us. And help her.” added Helen softly.

Grace de Messembry watched as the other two hailed and boarded their taxi, waved, and then turned and slid into the welcoming leather upholstery of her own car.

“Did you have a pleasant evening Miss Grace?”

Grace de Messembry smiled at the back of her driver's head, blonde curls under a saucy pill box hat that really was far too haute couture for a normal chauffeuse, as the car silently drew away from the curb.

“Delightful thank you Coralie dear. Home now.”

Sinking back Grace de Messembry closed her eyes and after a few minutes the driver heard the sound of her singing to herself. First a gentle suggestion of a tune, a tune without words, hauntingly familiar. Nothing from the opera though. Not from The Magic Flute, nor from any other of the Master's works, but from a later generation's treasury, albeit still before Grace was born. An evergreen melody first sung by Doris Day in the 1950's, humbler perhaps but sharing still that ability to enthral, to move.

The words only half articulated at first became, for the last chorus, discernible to the listening Coralie. Or perhaps it was just the music's familiarity that whispered to her brain the words that escaped her ear, but quite clearly at the end she heard -

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

' .... d. '

Author's Note

I shall miss them all. David and Anne and Emma, Grace and Helen and Tabatha and Laura and .... and Bramble too. And all the others who have flitted in and out of our tale. All of them We have become friends in the years we have spent together.

Not least because through them, because of them, I have made other friends. Friends here on Top Shelf. Readers and other writers whom I otherwise would never have met, talked to and enjoyed. And so I drink the characters' health in a large Plymouth gin and tonic with loads of ice and a slice of lime. But mostly gin. And added to that toast is the hope that they have lived a little also for some of my friends here. Friends that I owe to them.

Helgarren Hall too I can see in my mind's eye. The original Queen Anne building disfigured by later additions, The new Laboratory and, in a dip in its rolling parkland, between Hall and river the Holding Wing and the roof garden where ..... But leave memory lane for other days.

But when I google for it the only links I get are to Top Shelf and the DofC so perhaps my memory plays me false and it is only an illusion after all.

Googling for The Venumar Foundation too leads me back to Top Shelf. Not surprising really because they are such a secretive lot. One doesn't really expect a Home Page from them.

But the 'Bare Branches' is quite a different story. I fact I have long been haunted by the fear that some reader would take me at my word when I insisted on the fundamental reality of the plot and would google for the 'Bare Branches'. Well if you did, thanks for not commenting on it and telling the others. For anyone who still doubts, the book is as described, Bare Branches: The Security Implications of Asia's Surplus Male Population (BCSIA Studies in International Security) written by Valerie M. Hudson and Andrea M. Den Boer. Published by the MIT Press, it is available from Amazon.co.uk /.com priced at  £22.32 (only  £4.99p. in paperback) and $32.19 respectively. I was first alerted to it by a review in the Financial Times dated 29th. May 2004. For my American friends the equivalent is a Washington Post review of July 4th of that year.

Not that they are the sole references. There is much on the internet about disproportionate sex ratios in both China and India.

I assure you that neither I, nor Helen Vanbrugh, nor even Grace de Messembry herself, have exaggerated the problem and its probable consequences. Quite the reverse in fact. Read the reviews yourself if you doubt my, our, word.

And of course one could spend the rest of one's life pursuing links about climate change. David King, the British government's chief scientific adviser, raised eyebrows several years ago when he warned that climate change posed a far bigger global threat than terrorism and since that time his forecast has received a more universal acceptance.

To the best of my knowledge however no-one has linked the disproportionate sex ratios in Asia and climate change before. Not that I have looked all that thoroughly. But it is a little odd that greater prominence hasn't been given to it. There is a possible, probable, nay certain inter-reaction surely?

And if you, dear reader, haven't yet heard of it either, then do remember that you first read about it here. Another Top Closet first.

So perhaps Helgarren Hall and The Venumar Foundation do exist after all? Although admittedly not under those names and not in quite the form that I have depicted.

And perhaps after all Grace de Messembry .... or someone very like her .... a different name surely .... isn't just a figment of my imagination? Maybe....

Hang on a moment. Someone is at the door .... a rather splendid black Rolls Royce has just driven up. With a chauffeuse in a rather saucy pillbox hat. Must be someone important .... I wonder who? .... Back in a minute .....

.............

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Comments

Basicly Grace has performed

Basicly Grace has performed the same type of corporate near fraud as the guy who was paid to establish the weapon capabilities of the Frisby for the USA department of defense. A typical money grubbing executive of nearly any corporation in the world today. Promising only to provide research, not solutions. Worse things have happened in exercising secret government decisions over the years and later brought to light.

The horror story of David is perhaps at a pause or just waiting for our own minds eye to cheer for the ending we may feel fits the story best. Either way it is an emotionally draining story to read the way I did, catching up in a couple days after reading a middle-ish chapter. Have to remember tis only a story, tis only a story...

Once again fleurie, thank you for the view from your minds eye. Best of days to you.

Still chilling ...

... even in the ambiguity of the ending, Grace remains quintessentially evil. She is the consummate sociopath, in that the concepts of right and wrong and the rights of others mean less than nothing to her. It surprises me that Helen would continue to be a part of this, although I suppose from her point of view it's better that there be someone involved at the highest levels with some shred of humanity left in her. Some ... but perhaps not enough.

I believe that Grace is cheating on the test to see if the feminization continues outside of the process. By spiking David's CDs and DVDs with programming, she has invalidated her own data. The test is meaningless, because the programming part of the process has been entered into the equation after David's escape.

A good and noble run, fleurie, and there may still be hope for David. But for Grace? We'll see. *smiles*

Thank you, for everything. *hugs*

Randalynn

And so...

kristina l s's picture

..the mists clear just a little. Our search for resolution or at least 'some' answers is teased loose like an updo into a plait. Somewhere in the middle.
I suppose a case can be made for a different morality due to the enormity of the possible problem, but...
Of course evil is relative and the winner writes the History. So should this be refined and tweaked and seen to be a '...you, no, you..you small, you stay..you...' in such a case the trevails of one pampered soul is hardly of consideration. But then perhaps our perspective is slightly different.
The rights of the individual, against upheavel on a global scale..what's that line about a 'hill of beans'?
Thank you Fleurie..and even if there is no more of this, do not let this be your sole outing. I have no doubt there is a path or two yet to be explored in that labrynth or was it a maze?
Kristina

In Defence of Grace

As the more attentive readers may have gathered I am not someone whose adulation of Politicians and/or International Business Corporations is completely unquestioning.

But if you will me for a moment to play Devil's Advocate?

Suna's "A typical money grubbing executive of nearly any corporation in the world today." would I think cause Grace 's eyebrows to rise. Apart from her distaste at the idea of being relegated to typical, I suspect she would argue that she was quite innocent of any charge of committing a 'near fraud'. The research is genuine and offers a possible solution to anyone who can apply it. There has been no deception nor misrepresentation involved. Perhaps she may have exaggerated some aspects, smoothed over a few deficiencies, but surely such ability is what every good salesman/woman prides themselves on?

Randalynn's conclusion that she is a "sociopath"? Well .... It was the, by some still lamented, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher who announced proudly that "There is no such thing as Society", and I am not quite sure what a sociopath is in such a context. She, Grace that is, is a stalwart pillar of the Establishment adding lustre to an otherwise rather undistinguished lot. Her business ethics may not be to everyone's taste but then how many major corporations are completely without stain, would bear the same close examination that I have subjected her to? Helen admittedly is a more complex character and her behaviour is suspect. Her choices more difficult.

Kristina of course moves away from personalities and takes us into the muddy waters of the conflict of the ends and the means. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she didn't get an invitation to the opera some day soon for a further chat, a deeper exploration the highways and byways of historical perspectives.

Although I fear she may be far too honest, far too heart-on-sleeve, to really compete with the politicians such as those in whose circle Grace moves.

But then I too am out of my depth in such company. It is just that I have this suspicion that what we have encountered here might not be so very unusual as far as ethics are concerned in such rarified atmosphere.

Thanks to you all for your comments and encouragement.

Hugs,

Fleurie

Fleurie

Perhaps sociopath ...

... was not the right word. The dictionary defines a sociopath as "a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience."

It was the lack of conscience to which I referred, and all of her semantic wiggling can't change the fact that months in captivity followed by the spectre of Rehabilitation shoud be considered a more than ample threat to ensure David's cooperation. The sheer heartlessness and total disregard for his rights as an individual would be more than enough to convince nearly anyone that failure to comply would be dealt with using the same inhumanity that had been previously displayed -- and more than amply demonstrated-- both for and on David (i.e. his imprisonment without contact prior to starting the program).

As for the end justifying the means? Grace doesn't believe this research will help at all, but she truly doesn't care one way or another. To her, it's about ensuring a healthy revenue stream for Venumar by using humans as guinea pigs and allowing the world's governments to deceive both themselves and their constituents into thinking they're actually addressing the problem.

Indeed, it seems that Grace is just ruthless and utterly without concern for the rights, welfare, and feelings of others. So I formally apologize for my totally unjustified psychological evaluation. *grins*

Randa

Apology accepted

Formally of course.

There I can't, on Grace's behalf, be more gracious than that, can I?

Fleurie

Fleurie

To me Grace is an amoral woman ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

... on a power trip. She seems to define good and evil, right or wrong, by whether whatever is done or happens furthers or interferes with her own goals, which seem to rbe mostly dealing with her own pleasure, amusement, and curiosity. She considers neither the rights nor well being of others as worthwhile other than in meeting her goals. Other people she simnply considers as being there for her to do whatever she wants with them - pawns and playthings. Her only concern in regard to what happens to her playthings is in whether or not they will jeopardize her future playing. If others benefit or not from her playing-, that is simply a by-product - shit happens, but so do orgasms. In regard to the "bare branches" problem she has admitted she does not think what she is doing will work to solve the problem she is leading the world leaders to think it may solve; she is just enjoying the game, seemingly adopting a Louis XV attitude, "After me, the deluge." Or perhaps Marie Antoinette: When told that men have no clothes, she replies, "Let them wear lingerie." It's good to be the Queen.

I also agree that if, as she stated, David is an experiment to see if the feminisation process, once it reaches a certain point, will continue without further interference, a point she believes David has reached, she has corrupted it herself by continuing the brainwashing of David following his escape. I am surprised that David had not, at the point we left him, considered that Grace had tracking devices in place and that the convieniently left CDs and DVDs might be doctored.

Ah, dear Fleurie, I will miss these characters, these friends and enemies, too, as I will miss you; please stay in touch and please continue to write. Will you not consider continuing David's story? I, for one, would love to see him going on the attack. Something Grace would consider bad needs to happen to her to wipe away the smugness. Perhaps kidnap her and subject her to a forced sex change - why? "Well, dear, because we can." Grace would understand that.

"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show

BE a lady!

Nobody's Perfect

A sentiment of which I feel sure Grace de Messembry would wholeheartedly approve. Seeking perfection has always been one of her guiding principles and she has always been unremitting in her efforts to achieve it, in others particularly.

Reluctantly, in view of my own natural disposition to find charitable interpretations for the actions of others, I am forced to concede that the unanimity of the views expressed by yourself and Randa and Kristina do merit consideration. Your delicate questioning of the probity of Grace's actions, and indeed character have, I admit, found distant echoes in my own sense of what is, and what is not, socially acceptable.

Whether the remedy for me is to try and understand her better, and in understanding make the appropriate allowances; or whether I should rush to condemn, perhaps precipitately, her peccadilloes to which you have drawn my attention, I shall have to consider.

By a strange coincidence I heard only the other day that the Headmistress of Grace de Messembry's old school had heard similar criticisms voiced and was wondering as to whether she, Grace, might after all be the most suitable person to present the prizes at their Annual Sports Day this summer. Rôle models are so important to young girls don't you think? And Grace is such a fine example of someone coming from a privileged background who has made the most of her opportunities and has never hesitated to trample on others in pursuit of excellence that beckoned. On the other hand good breeding does demand a degree of discretion. And if what you say be true ....?

There is of course the added complication that the Venumar Foundation has recently donated a much needed new pavilion to the School lacrosse fields as well as a nearly new mini-bus to the Junior Girls' Ballet Display team.

Such a difficult decision.

As regards the other points you make. Well I think Grace would point out that one is not obligated to place a still cooking egg in cold storage. The essential question is an economic one. Whether one can dispense with the extensive, and expensive, luxury of an establishment such as Helgarren Hall, quite five star, backed by a numerous and skilled staff waiting on the inmates hand and foot. A few inexpensive CD's etc. are a mere bagatelle as far as costs go. Just keeping in touch really. Just a pragmatic precaution.

David was of course aware of the probability that he might be tracked. He avoided taking the items that he thought might enable them to do it as well as changing his car etc. The DVD's and CD's were his old favourites dating from other times. The photograph of his parents was the one thing he had left of his other happier existence, of his beloved parents. Perhaps he could have been more alert and taken it out of its frame, but he had had a rather rough few hours. He expected a knock on the door at any moment as they came to reclaim him. Nobody's perfect as I think I said before.

Nor do I envisage writing about revenge. I don't know how one gets the better of big corporations. I never have. If I were David I would lie low with the sleeping dogs and concentrate on winning his own internal battles. If I were to fall into the error of a continuation it would, I think, tend more towards the sentimental, even the romantic. And as neither of these two qualities are the strongest weapons in my armoury, I think t'were best for me to leave David's future well alone. I just hope and believe he will make it.

Apropos to nothing at all my memory is sufficiently stirred by your quotation to offer the limerick that accompanies it on the off chance that it has not travelled across the Atlantic, or that if it has it has been hurriedly forgotten. It is regrettably somewhat crude but I hope you will forgive such coarseness on the grounds that it is, if not hallowed by time, then sufficiently mellowed by it. Anyway it is partially translated from the French who tend to be somewhat risqué in their approach to these matters.

There was a young woman of Bruges
Whose cunt was partic'ly huge
Said Louis Quatorze,
as he pulled down her drawers,
“Eh Bien. Après moi la deluge.”

Thank you, dear Jezzi. for all your long sustained and so greatly appreciated support and enthusiasm.

Hugs,

Fleurie

Fleurie

Ah, my sweet friend, I do so dislike to see ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

... the evildoers, the selfish tramplers on the rights of others, win. I understand that you have allowed our friend "Miss R", who exceeds even moi in her quest for justice, to make Grace the recipient of the skills of one of her beloved characters. I suppose, given your reluctance to have David Bring Grace to justice (Which I admit would be out of character for him) that I shall have to be content with that.

"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show - and Fleurie, dear, your creations have certainly done just that!

PS - My real hope is that David does succeed in recreating himself but finds that, after having tasted femininity and now that his stubborness has been satisfied, masculinity just isn't his cup of tea anymore. He voluntarily and gracefully yields the playing field to Sophie who lives happily ever after, every year following Grace's death placing a dozen roses on her grave. May The Femme be with you also!

BE a lady!

Grace Sucks

And so do the horse's ass followers she rides around upon.

I know the above is not the most eloquent of arguments against Grace, but I believe it captures my feelings properly. So much do I think she sucks, I have been unable to read the epilogue, unwilling as I am to spend time with the woman. I do not have any interest to hear her justifications or thoughts, she is still the evil bitch who David first met.

However, this is not a comment against Fleurie's work. In fact it is a hearty congratulations for being able to create so much like for the main character while creating so much hate for a character that flitted in and out but was mostly on the sideline.

Thank you for the story of David and Sophie.

I beg to differ.

Jezzi Stewart's picture

To say that Grace "flitted in and out but was mnostly on the sidelines" is, in my opinion totally wrong. While it is true that the story is told by David/Sophie and is his/her story, Grace permeates the story; she is in fact, the goddess figure, having created and currently ruling in dictatorial manner the sealed environment in which our hero(ine) must play out her/his part. As we learn in this epilog, her influence extends even to his/her "afterlife". No way can Grace be relegated to the small, cramped, communal dressing room of the minor players, Heroine or villian, she will always be a star!

"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show

BE a lady!

Grace as a Minor Player

I believe we disagree more upon the meaning of "on the sidelines" than we do on Grace. I do not see her as a minor player, just as I do not consider a football coach, on the sidelines, as a minor player. Nor would I have the amount of dislike for her if Fleurie had not made it so that she, as you say, permeated the story with her villainy.

Evil is best taken in small doses.

Dear Arcie Emm, Jezzi,

Of course you are both right. It is David's/Sophie's tale. But Grace de Messemebry's shadow hangs over it all, in a quite disproportionate way to the amount of 'print time' afforded to her.

I think it has to be like this. Or it has to be for the way I write, and I would be interested in your own slant as authors on this.

I was always conscious that I had to be sparing in my use of Grace. I rationed her out feeling that she was more effectively evil if administered in small doses. Although her exchanges with David were in some ways the most enjoyable to write I really had this feeling always that I mustn't over indulge myself. Maybe I doubted my ability to sustain them or to sustain interest in them, but more probably because I suspected that a threat, an evil, that is sparing, shadowy, is more effective when understated, half hidden?

I would be interested to have the benefit of other views on this. Have I in my literary innocence been abiding by one of those rules that I am warned that I neglect at my peril? :)

Thanks also to Gwen. Of course she too is right in thinking I was enjoying myself with Big Business and politicians. And also that I was aiming for a sort of truth. I cannot of course comment on other people's politicians (I always try to avoid intruding on the griefs of others'.) but in the UK our poor dears are, it seems, intellectually a couple of votes short of a majority and not really a match for the keener sharks of commerce.

I confess I am a little surprised that the rationale behind the plot, the 'bare branches' has elicited no comments. Gwen's 'the sex-ratio stuff' should perhaps be taken more seriously as a threat. But maybe it's just me.

Hugs to all,

Fleurie

Fleurie

Dear Fleurie

kristina l s's picture

I must admit that I had a fleeting wish that Coralie might indeed have skewered Grace. Ripped her from pubis to sternum and played with the squidgy bits while sipping Gin. Others may well have wished that David succumbed and embraced Sophie wholeheartedly, understandable perhaps given the veiwpoint. There may indeed come a point where the balance would tip... in fact I think I passed it. I no longer believe it is possible for David to be... therefore.. Not everyone may agree.
As for Grace... she is a balancing act. Too much and people would turn off. Too little and Davids fears are irrational, even a bit pathetic. She is that outwardly elegant figure that guides the entire operation, yet even the hardened operatives that handle the abductions are terrified of her. The world of really big business and the interplay with Government is something totally outside my knowledge, beyond of course a subtle cynicism that we are very often played for fools and outright lied to. Noblity is all very well but it doesn't buy that new Roller. Or a Coralie to drive it.
The bare branches is the shadowy..'why'.. a raison detre that may .. perhaps, give a plausible excuse for the whole saga. As much as it may be just that, it is David and his struggle that hold us. A shadowy, maybe reason is just that... shadowy. All those little Chinese princes with nary a princess in sight is perhaps a cause for concern, but Davids trauma is immediate and personal.. and just maybe it pricks us where it hurts in a whole lot of ways.
The world can look after itself.. one way or another...David is US.
respectfully
Kristina

Forget Grace

Dear fluerie,
I love Grace as an evil character, to be evil in my opinion takes intelligence. The ignorant and stupid can do great harm never underestimate them, but Grace is evil,delightfully evil.

What I loved most about this was not anything to do with TG stuff. It was the scarily accurate portrayal of the relationship between government funding and so called scientific research as it exists today. I don't know about the sex-ratio stuff but there is nothing more frightening than the not so recent trend toward "accountability" in science, which is a euphemism for, politicians decide what receives funding. Halliburton has its "Grace" sitting in the Vice Presidents chair and there are plenty of others, but they are disguised as University Presidents, Lobbyists, and Ceos of Pharmacuetical and Biotech firms.

Scary stuff and a rightously funny and articulate sendup! Thanks so much! If it weren't so close to the truth I would be laughing harder.

Gwen

Gwen Lavyril

Gwen Lavyril

Bare Branches...Hmmm

Well fleurie, you may be onto something here.

My, not thinking to Google "bare branches" was an oversight but who would have thought there was a real hidden message in a TG story! LOL! I did not do a serious reading but I did notice that the authors were from Brigham Young university. I won't say, and don't know that they were Mormon or polygamists but I could see how that environment might over sensitize one to a shortage of women. :) We have a television show here, "Big Love" that probably gives me the wrong idea along those lines.

Perhaps no intervention is needed? Think of it as a prison situation. Young and pretty males with no future as such opt for the female role and protection from the succesful (priveledged)males? "Ladyboys" seem pretty popular in those parts of the world. Maybe it is already in play?

It would be a perverse revenge of human psychology, if, like frogs when the pressure is great enough gender morphing (at least psychologically) is a possibility, maybe a requirement? Maybe you can cull all you want but "daughter's" will be made or make themselves? Maybe Grace knows what she is doing and just preparing for the flood of candidates?

Intriguing stuff,and some great Sci-fi too. Too bad I can't write that stuff or Grace might be the Henry Ford of GCS/SRS! Oh, and save the world. Great stuff!

Gwen

Gwen Lavyril

Gwen Lavyril

the background

kristina l s's picture

This is a PS.. or is that an addendum... whatever...

Did we ignore or perhaps gloss over the reasoning for the whole tale? Maybe a little, it got relegated by the frontal battles of David. But...

... the background is the background. Without it nothing else falls into place. I don't know how many may have devined or intuited some or all of what drove the whole scheme, but it had to be good. Your scenario is on the edge of plausible and therefore makes the entire tale more than just a fiction. It could, perhaps, happen and that is what good fiction is all about.

The other characters you might often wonder at but it was David that held you. I was quite sure Grace was not blind to the gentle plotting but was never sure exactly how much she knew or perhaps even drove. Helen always baffled me a little and to a lesser extent I wondered at the why of some others being a party to... but well, we're back to the background aren't we. Their reasons are their own and it is not essential we know the why in every case. Or even most of them. Imagination and possibilities, that's what it's all about innit, stirring the old thought processes. It did that admirably.

Kristina

Lesser Characters & Sci-Fi

Dear Kristina,

I agree, am very conscious, that some of the supporting characters leave questions unanswered. Helen is the prime example, but I feel equally guilty about Laura, whom I effectively abandoned when David left the Holding Wing and she was therefore no longer central to his conditioning. Dr. Tabatha also was a tortured souls about whom more could have been discovered. Even Emma ....

My only excuse is that DofC was becoming too long. I had to cut some corners or it would never haver been finished. The patience of my faithful readers, already severely tested, would have been stretched too far. Even yours :).

And of course I do think that readers should contribute something. And what greater compliment can I pay them than by requiring it to be their own imagination?

Gwen, I think that it is an excellent idea! Your excursion into Sci-Fi I mean. Of course you could do it! Just think of the opportunity for futuristic frillies for your heros-soon-to-become-heroines that it would offer.

Alas we are deprived of 'Big Love' in our sheltered little island. Nor am I aware of the influence or political/social leanings of Brigham Young University. Of the authors of 'Bare Branches', Andrea den Boer is a Lecturer in International Relations and Director of the Master of Arts in Human Rights. She was educated at the University of Manitoba , Canada (BSc and BA Hons), Brigham Young University (MA), and the University of Kent (PhD) [U.K.] where she is currently resident. Valerie Hobson seems to have gained most of her many qualifications at Ohio State University. Although she is indeed currently at Brigham.

But since that book appeared there have been others on the subject. It is becoming quite a cult subject in in population and security quarters. Try 'The Writing on the Wall' by Will Hutton published in January this year for example. So there is plenty of material for you too to stray into 'reality fiction'.

So give it a go girl.

Hugs,

Fleurie

Fleurie

On Utah

Dear fleurie,
"Big Love" is a series about a modern day Mormon in Utah who is like many others still a Polygamist. Don't really know much about Mormons other than having skied in Utah where it's impossible to get a decent Martini. The series is a send up on the usual religious hypocrycies and nobody is lucky enough to have three wives as good looking as his anyway so it has to be totally fictional.

As usual you are very much too generous in assessing my abilities but I confess to being intrigued by this unreal reality. If you have ever met a serious Asian crossdresser you realize that very little need be done to make a beautiful woman (by western standards)from one. Being petite, graceful, and naturally demure they make a western bovine like Gwen wish to scream and stamp her big feet. Naturally, I resist for reasons of decorum and smile ever so sweeetly as I declare how pleased I am to meet the pretty little....well I digress.

I suspect that the answer is just lying there; in that, if the UN were to "request" that suffering countries stop female infanticide and offer the "opportunity" for gender reassignment to interested males they would be swamped by applicants creating a medical emergency to find qualified surgeons so as not to just mutilate people. Medical schools would have to realign curriculums to include vaginal construction for males, etc. :)

Yes, I see Grace on the cover of Time Magazine dressed entirely in white ala Hillary with a title something like "The Mother Of All Whores", or "Welcome to Bartuk" or something equally inappropriate. :)

Maybe a collaboration my sweet friend, to keep me grounded and so the work gets the serious review it would deserve?

Hugs,
Gwen

Gwen Lavyril

Gwen Lavyril

{{ subject line removed - Erin }}

SO THAT IS THE WAY THE STORY ENDS........NOT WITH A BANG BUT A WHIMPER!

Personally I feel cheated. I spent a lot of time reading a story in which the author, writing beautifully, created brilliantly portrayed characters and built a mystery theme around a three letter word – WHY. Then, after chapter 40 or so it seems as if the author tired of the game and didn’t have an even halfway acceptable method of concluding and so she let the characters I was so familiar with just drift off into the night with no resolution and not even the hint of a valid ending.

I even went back and re-read the epilogue to see if somehow I had missed something, anything, to change my mind.

(BTW I never read the comments of other readers until I have finished a story and posted my thoughts so that they will not possibly colour my own reactions.)

The epilogue states that throughout the whole thing David had the option of choice. Hummm let’s see – Sit down to pee or we will surgically mutilate you. Yeah, I guess that’s a choice! Or – Have sex with another man or I will kill Anne’s puppy!

I didn’t expect a clear cut definitive conclusion such as Grace, or the Foundation which is the same thing, getting some sort of retribution; that would have been asking too much even though at least 3 murders were directly on her doorstep. Yes three – Olive and then let’s not claim that Coralie was not effectively murdered in Rehabilitation plus the one other whose demise made room for David to move from Holding with Anne. But surely after such a long and, to a point enjoyable, read it deserves some semblance of finality to allow the reader to ‘let go’.

As for Grace I can just hear her if, for example, after David found he had been lied to yet again and was developing breasts, he just settled on his bed and slit his wrists. Her reaction would be ‘Damn, what a waste of money – we’ll never get the bloodstains out of those sheets. Go find me another guinea pig to play with and we’ll start again.’

But part of what was proffered as a reason for it all I found so completely unbelievable “A male needs a female to be an economic unit…….to provide children”. So barren she-males are the answer to solve the balance of the sexes – I think not.

I’m sorry if this comment is overly long but it was a long story and I hope I have conveyed the disappointment I felt at being left dangling in the wind after reading such a well-written epic.

Now I’ll go and read the other comments and see if I am alone in my feelings.

Anne

In defence of a whimper

Dear Anne Grey,

I am so sorry you feel cheated. Moreover I have a nasty suspicion that perhaps others share your disappointment.

So the least I can do is to try to explain it from my side. And perhaps clarify things.

Firstly of course I should affirm that it was always meant to end this way. It wasn't something that just happened because I ran out of ideas. It ended as I wanted it to end and because I thought that the end was right for the story and the characters in it.

So I didn't 'just tire of the game after Chapter 40'. In fact the last chapters were the hardest to write. I had to concentrate on getting everyone to their pre-destined finish line all more the less at the same time and more and more I became conscious of the time I was taking. Believe you me I could have rambled on for much longer, drawing it out, painting Grace de Messembry in ever darker shades of evil, stressing David's descent/ascent into femininity in greater detail, delving deeper into the recesses of his mind .... I was quite enjoying myself but I did feel I had already tried the readers' patience quite long enough and it was time to draw it to a close. Besides which, and more importantly, I think it was ripe for closure.

And closure I think it was. David, having progressed from a cell at Reception to a floor at the Holding Wing to the enclosed acres of Helgarren, now back in the wide world at the scene of his childhood happiness. And for the first time in a long time his future depends on him. For the first time he has choice. Think of the alternatives.

You want it spelt out? Well he could have accepted femininity. Grace de Messembry would have won. Whatever happened to her afterwards, she would have triumphed. And as an ending it would have been unbearably weak. At least I think so. But then I think it is a great drawback in TG fiction, a drawback that can be crippling. People expect that the male will become female. It is the expected, almost without exception the requisite, ending. The author risks being constrained, dictated to by the reader, from the word go. And I am an awkward bastard.

He could have regained his masculinity. I was more tempted by this. Indeed I think of him as David and that is my own personal belief. That he wins through. And of course Grace loses. (All right I know she says she doesn't, but that is not how either I nor the readers see it.) But I find the baldness of it unsatisfying. And to chart that progress back would have prolonged the tale past its sell by date. Past the answering of the 'why' (Patience I will come to that in a moment.)

So best to leave it to the readers imagination. Make of it what you will. Read into it what you will. Vote for David or for Sophie. You should know whoever it is is well enough by now.

And as for retribution or revenge? What would that serve? David or Sophie has a life to lead. I haven't got a god. But if I had it would certainly not be an Old Testament one. None of this an eye for an eye rubbish. The obsession with revenge I think is a rather curious sentiment and is more likely to distort the life of the one who attempts it than the one on whom it is attempted. Seeking redress for a grievance enriches no-one except lawyers.

Learn from Hamlet's experience.

Grace through the Venumar Foundation is doubtless responsible for more than three deaths. I fail to see how by adding another one, that of Grace herself, to the total the situation is improved. Nor whom it benefits. David will have her death on his conscience, which is considerably more tender than that of Grace. Moreover he is likely to end up in prison and that will really mess up his life.

And how would he do it? Knife her or bludgeon her with a cricket bat.? Lie in wait for her for months in his car on the off-chance that she might step of the curb in front of him in circumstances that would allow him to run her down without risking injury to other pedestrians? Introduce rat-poison into her evening cocoa? Cultivate a member of the criminal classes through whose good offices he could illicitly procure a firearm?

He would be stark raving bonkers to even contemplate it.

And whilst I am on the subject of deaths, I don't think one can use the number of them as a sort of depth gauge with which to measure evil. If it were so one could understand why the demise of 650,000 Iraqis causes such soul searching in some quarters.

I am sorry you don't like the raison d'etre of the tale. That I can't do anything about. The bare branches are a reality, and the solution that Grace offers although far from perfect is the only one I can think of. And on course it isn't about the economic family unit inclusive of a barren she- male that you cite. The Venumar Foundation does it to make money through offering solutions to governments.. And whilst the scenario is perhaps unlikely, I would argue that it is not inconceivable. But here is not the place to rehearse the arguments. If I have failed to persuade you of this in the story, then I am unlikely to do so here.

Of your other points. I can't recall any instance of an assurance in the Epilogue that David had the option of choice. If so then it was the opinion of one of the characters, none of whom are entirely unbiased. The whole tale is in fact about the opposite, as a cursory glance at the title will reveal. David never has any real choice. What are presented as such are but illusory. Or on a grander, more philosophical scale, perhaps the very concept of choice is a delusion. How deep do you want to go? :).

So let go of him or her there. On the hillside above Ullswater looking over to the blue hills beyond. A life to be lived. Real choices to be faced in a future that is not without hope. And if he and his tale did give you any pleasure, remember him kindly.

Hugs,

Fleurie

Fleurie

re: In Defense of a Whimper

Well, Fleurie, I guess this is as good a point as any to begin my diatribe about DoC. As I have told you already, while I share many of the same frustrations as Anne and others that Grace did not "get her just desserts", or that David did not clearly overcome the feminization process before the tale ended, I also regard DoC as the most agonizing and compelling story I've ever read, right up to the end, and it is only because of this that it truly warrants, and I intend to offer, further discussion and debate of its merits and deficiencies. I hope you will contribute and clarify as I proceed, but not "pull rank" as author of the story, because of course you get the final word in any debate on the characters behaviors, remarks, etc. and the effects they are intended to provide, both to the consistency of the story as well as on the reader. I hope others will still read these comments, being unwilling, as I am, to "let go" of this remarkable story, even to continuing to debate its contents in sometimes minute detail, as I intend. So let's begin. By far the most compelling character is Grace, of course (with David a close second in my mind), and so I will start with her, and ask for some analysis of her (and thus your) behaviors. I can't begin to offer comprehensive examination of her behavior thoughout DoC in this single posting, of course, but a few salient recollections are worth presenting. I work from memory, so forgive the lack of citations. At the first "party", I recall she made a remark to the effect that less attractive feminized males "sometimes make the best matches". Next, the whole idea of (her) selecting males for "processing" based (in part) on their fine bone stuctures, as she did David. Both of these seem unwarranted based on the ultimate revelation of the Venumar/Grace purpose; to whit, merely to demonstrate that some effort to address "bare branches" could be demonstrated and funded by governments to Venumar's profit. Can you comment? Also, re Grace's immesurable maliciousness towards David and the other "trainees" (for want of a better term), you once told me you wanted the reader to HATE Grace; while you succeeded beyond anyone's wildest expectation, I'm unclear WHY you desired such, given the planned conclusion of the story? I had assumed that you intended for Grace to die (perhaps at Coralie's hand?) and wanted that outcome to be welcomed by the reader; since this didn't occur, I ask you, WHY did you have Grace behave so; is there some philisophical lesson therein, or did you perhaps simply ENJOY the emotional "meltdown" Grace's behavior engendered in the readers?

This is a first tentative offering; hopefully readers won't be upset if it fails to adequately capture all our issues with Grace and DoC, as I intend to build on this as much as time and interest allow, and hope others will contribute their own focussed perspectives. In any case, kudos to Fleurie for crafting a story unmatched in the genre - may his quill never go soft!

Hatred as a Positive.

Dear Adietrech,

After your more than kind remarks and in awe at your perseverance in sticking with it to the bitter end, the least I can do is offer explanations. And without 'pulling rank' at least as far as my nature allows. :)

To start with your second question. Helgarren is a pilot scheme. Experimental, where guinea pigs are processed and judged and learnt from. Grace herself is a perfectionist and would aim for the best possible end result. For that one needs to start with the most suitable candidates. She also needs the best possible result to convince potential clients of what the Venumar process can achieve. They are her samples. No company in its right mind would try to sell on the basis of 'Of course we could have done better if we had chosen better raw material in the first place'. Rather surely 'This is what we can do although of course variations can be expected depending on the quality of the raw material you provide us with'.

Your first question springs from that. They were discussing Tommy as a possible candidate. He, you may remember, was also small boned although having somewhat heavier facial features than Anne or David. Grace said that they needed 'to expand the research criteria to re-establish the parameters of possibility.' and added the remark about 'quite plain ones .... making the best matches.' By which I can only offer that she was intimating that looks were not the only criteria. Presumably mental approach, character and emotional response also count. And it was these qualities that were under particular scrutiny at that point.

Your last question I thought simple before I started to answer it. Then I ran into difficulties.

“Why did I want people to hate Grace?”

Well .... It wasn't a primary requirement. I personally rather like Grace because she gave me the most fun in writing. I really looked forward to doing her dialogues with David and rationed myself carefully to increase the enjoyment. They were also the easiest to write. In fact they largely wrote themselves and I lost a lot of it because I couldn't type fast enough.

Why did I want it as a secondary requirement? I suppose because it gave conflict. And the greater the conflict the better the tale. It is seen through David's eyes and he must hate Grace surely? And if he hates her then the more successful I was in making the reader hate her the more the tale, his tale, lives for the reader.

And I am not sure why you think the conclusion alters that. I have said elsewhere that a definite conclusion seemed to me wrong. Except ....except ... well I did think that the correct conclusion would be David's death. I fact I still think that. It is the cleanest and in many ways the most satisfying in a literary sense. It rounds it off. His suicide would I think make the whole thing immeasurably stronger. Tragedy is the strongest of all.

But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I chose hope instead. And gave that option to the reader. The option to believe whatever they wished to believe, whatever they wished to hope for.

And it worked for me, although perhaps I am in the minority. But I still can't see a viable alternative once I had decided against his death. After I had sacrificed literary integrity on the altar of foolish sentimentality.

And within the tale of course there are many reasons why Grace had to be hated. It gave a broader spectrum in which the other characters could be positioned. Laura and Helen and Tabatha. Gave them more chance to influence David, to flee into their arms in escaping from her. And of course it helped in destroying David's will.

And finally, selfishly, I enjoyed writing her lines. :)

Hugs,

Fleurie

Fleurie

OK, Fleurie, I accept the

OK, Fleurie, I accept the idea that, pleasure aside, a truly despicable Grace simply made the story a much better read (which of course it certainly did), but that leads to the question which I as a non-author can't answer; to whit, to what extent must literary "DEVICES" (for want of a better term) used by an author to make the story better for the reader remain, in fairness or simply as a standard for successful writing, "consistent" with the other aspects of the characters and story? In this case, I submit that hateful, malicious Grace, as she CLEARLY is (don't give me the old "she's just interested in Venumar's profit - I can cite numerous specifics if I must) is not readily consistent with the other features of the story. For example, would you have us believe that Helen, or Tabatha, or even Emma, are in essence good persons and good "worker bees"who despite their apparent (I prefer "pretend") benevolence, are able to turn a blind eye to Grace's malice and continue to work for her? That these people are in fact "moral" and "ethical" in their behaviors even as they sanction kidnapping and FAR WORSE under the dictates of Grace? Is it true, or a lie, that she sent Anne to a (brief) Rehab, horror beyond description, merely for QUESTIONING the apropriateness of Anne's participation, and yet the "good witch" Tabatha, who supposedly despises the process of Rehab, will take no action greater than "scathing remarks"? I fear, Fleurie, that you may suffer from being too close to your characters to be able to (dispassionately? no.., objectively? no... I'm neither of these either in this case) see the proverbial forest for the trees. And this, frankly, is where my greatest problem (and deepest fascination) with DoC characters comes in - their behaviors and interactions are written so believably, so compellingly, so REAL, yet the matrix of motivations and constraints in which they exist remains clouded at best, perceptually distorted at worst. I once asked you (to paraphrase) if the good Laura feared to disobey Grace's directives because something worse than simply firing could occur - you said in effect no, firing would be the worst that could happen to her. And yet WHY? A Grace with the power and willingness to verbally torture and humiliate her "guinea pigs" out of simple pleasure or vexation, SURELY would not be afraid, nor opposed, to use her power on an employe to similar effect? Thus I make the case that the single biggest failing for ME of this story is that I STILL DON"T UNDERSTAND THE CHARACTERS! Every single one of them, has been presented in a way to create a fascination to know them intimately, yet we have been largely denied this - I hope you read this as it is intended - both a compliment and a plea. Help us know these characters better - write a brief sequel, C.V.s, or SOMETHING! I care less about David's ultmate fate (though I must admit, I would have preferred he commit suicide to the actual ending, though I accept your stated motivation for it) than knowing these others for what they really are in YOUR mind, and seeing if tha jives with David's perception as it has been presented to us.

Of the other issues you addressed, "...make the best matches" still puzzles me - WHAT "MATCHES"? Is she saying that the program is structured to promote (or force) marriage or similar relationships for Venumar's "graduates"? While Helen's assertion to David that "we only need data on feminization" - the feminized male is "free to go where and do what she wants." has already been proven inaccurate (or an outright lie), I still get the sense that Grace merely wanted to further humiliate David by suggesting his ultimate status as a "spoken for" woman. Which if either is correct?

Enough for now. Look forward to your (tolerant) reply!

Adietrech

A Plea of Limited Responsibility

Dear Adietrech,

Lets start with a confession.

I am not really an author as I think I have mentioned before. I know nothing about writing, its techniques, mysteries and shibboleths. They are as much a puzzle to me as they are to any other reader. Probably, given my seeming perpetually confused state, more.

I am a writer in the sense that I have written something, but then most people have even if it is only a letter. I have no ambition to be a WRITER

I am someone who had an idea for a tale and thought it would be fun to try and tell it. So I am not at all equipped to answer the questions you raise which I suspect go far beyond both my remit and my competence.

However for what it is worth here goes. Just remember that I didn't study wider implications or, in spite of my claims to the contrary, the eternal verities, when I embarked on my tale. Any literary devices you detect were arrived at unknowingly, stumbled across in moments of happy serendipity.

For my tale I needed a villain .....or more correctly a villainess. And if you are going to have one it is more satisfying to have an effective one. Get ready to BOO when she appears. Anyway Grace really wrote, created, herself. She was such fun. So I can't really be accountable for her or what she said. She just seemed to happen and I was too busy typing to try to keep up with the dialogue in my head to explore moral or ethical considerations.

Which may be another way of saying that I “may suffer from being too close to your characters to be able to ........ see the proverbial forest for the trees.” At least as far as Grace is concerned.

The other characters that you mention where basically there because the tale needed them. The plot requires them to be as they are. Perhaps, if I really were a writer, I could have arranged things better, but we are all constrained by our failings.

I was, am, always uneasy about Laura as I was about Dr. Tabatha. Both, particularly Laura, were needed at a point in the story. Both suffered from the fact that the story subsequently moved away from them. Laura was left in the Holding Wing and there was a limit to how much I could continue to involve Tabatha without slowing the whole thing down. Both deserved better and if I had been writing a fully rounded novel, if I were a proper writer, then I would have fleshed them out more, tried to attribute to them better motivation and provide more explanation. But I wasn't, am not, and was increasingly conscious of the fact that my readers' patience here must be wearing thin.

Also I would point out that it is easy to adopt a moral high ground when considering the actions of others, particularly fictional others. In reality few of us are innocent of some moral compromise, some delicate adjustment in the boundary between right and wrong, some accommodation to the benefits of turning a blind eye. What is that oft quoted phrase about a good man doing nothing? Not that I would claim Laura et al were good. Just average people like ... well surely you must know some? Me for example. :)

Emma's desertion to the Venumar ranks was admittedly hasty. Abrupt even. But then it had to be to generate shock in the story. Shock and a further blow to David. And hopefully to bring out more of his character. So it was a choice. But I ask you to remember that she is a young girl. From a difficult and deprived background who was in an almost feral state when taken in by the Foundation's charitable side. With such a background the weighing of moral and ethical considerations commands a lowly place in the hierarchy of desirable actions. And she genuinely owed them.

And surely she redeemed herself?

Matches meant only that they conformed to the profile that the Venumar Foundation thought would result in the best candidates for their trials. There is no mystery. All that is being said is 'prettiness' was not the only attribute worth considering and might well be only secondary.

"the feminized male is free to go where and do what she wants. has already been proven inaccurate (or an outright lie),”

How did you arrive there? Anyone who has gone through the system at Helgarren could, as far as I can see, go wherever they want. Why not? There was a suggestion that Anne and Emma might be offered employment there but that does not mean they would have to take it. Coralie is seen acting as a chauffeuse but there is no indication that this is a permanent arrangement. And anyway in her somewhat delicate state what else could she do?

David of course hadn't completed, yet I think in the Epilogue it was said that, either way, he/she could do as he wished afterwards.

I have rambled on far too long. I hope the above goes some little way to answering, or avoiding, :) your questions

I have no intention of doing a sequel. The main thread, i.e. the 'bare branches', is ended, and I do not know what could replace it. Tidying up David's future might yield some satisfaction, but there is no underlying call for it. No backbone.

And I am not a writer.

A C.V. For Grace does exist and you are welcome to a copy as is any other reader who wishes to P.M me for it.

With much gratitude for the interest that you show in the tale and the characters within.

Kindest Regards

Fleurie

Fleurie

DoC - no forgetting it

It has been... I don't know how long now, since I last read this story in its entirety (for the nth time). I'm still haunted by it - it's characters, it's premises, its conclusion. A little Plymouth gin (actually, brandy) has spurred me to pick this thread up again. I could write these remarks direct to Fleurie, of course - but I'm curious to see if Fleurie, or anyone else, still reviews these comments. That is to say - is still affected by this story long after its telling, as I am. (I know - "Get a life!") In particular, of course, I'm curious if Fleurie still checks to see if the web she's woven has claimed another victim. One could hardly blame her if she does, of course. But if Fleurie shares Grace's sadistic appetite, naturally I'll be left to dangle in the wind, wondering - how appropos that would be!

So I'll dangle a little bait, hoping for a nibble. Reviewing Fleurie's responses to attacks on Grace (more accurately, attacks on the absence of her "comeuppance" by the end of the tale), I submit the following for consideration:

Is "rape" (in the most conventional sense) "wrong" in all cases? Is it fundamentally outside that realm which mainstream in the USA (at least) consider correct, "civilized", GOOD behavior? Should women have any fundamental RIGHT in modern-day society to preserve the sanctity of their bodies (more specifically, their orifices)? From anyone who would answer "not necessarily", I would willingly accept, should they assert it, that the actions of Venumar and Grace in abducting, conditioning, and "feminizing" David and the other males are "not necessarily" wrong. For any who would answer "yes, of course" (and I hope we are the majority) I would submit that David and the others were "raped" in every sense of the word, certainly in emotional consequence, in direct parallel to what a rape victim must experience (and perhaps over a longer time at that, to aggravate matters). And that the actions of Grace & Venumar via it's actualizers (Laura, Tabatha, etc) cannot really be distinquished from conventional "rape" in terms of the fundamental "rightness" or "wrongness" of the two cases.

OK, got that off my chest - I'll now go back to sulk for another year or two, wishing and waiting for Grace to be "raped" - I'd settle for revenge at this point!

ADietrech

Morality is for Fairy Tales

First let me admit that vanity enjoys a certain pre-eminence amongst my sins, so I do occasionally check on whether DofC is still read. :) I am naturally flattered that in lingers in the memory of a few.

To respond to Adietrech's comment.

I don't think that many would argue, I certainly wouldn't, that what Grace did was morally defensible. Nor that rape isn't wrong. Nor murder also. Nor even vanity for that matter.

But moral positions, whilst comforting for those that adopt them, are more honoured in the proclamation than in the observance. Those who rule our destinies have a deplorable, but practically universal, habit of abiding primarily by those that serve their ends whilst ignoring others with which their policies conflict or which may may be costly to embrace whilst having little profit in the way of attracting votes.

Rape is a good example. In the U.K of the rapes reported to the police in 2007 only 5.7% led to a conviction. And only a small proportion of all rapes are thought to be reported. Naturally though all right minded citizens agree that rape is quite appalling.

Most people would, I think, subscribe to the principle that torturing a fellow human being is reprehensible. Western democracies have largely solved any conflict of interest in this respect either by re-defining what torture is or by pointing out, somewhat contentiously, the benefits it may possibly bring. To themselves of course. They are far less tolerant of its use by others.

Moral certainties, the triumphing of good over evil etc., largely belong to stories for the very young. We abdicate our own responsibilities in the hope, vain I fear, that they at least may build a cleaner, better world.

I did try in DofC to describe a real world, warts and all.

As for revenge. Well I have I think outlined my own thoughts on this elsewhere. I think that the pursuit of it is a folly that, even if accomplished, is likely to wreck the life of the pursuer. Best that he or she forget and devote their energies to building their own future. All this eye for an eye nonsense is total crap which if taken to its logical conclusion would lead to the extinction of the human race. Even before we find another way of doing it.

Sometimes I toy with the idea of revisiting David but if I ever should then I would hope that he, or possibly she, would have found a peace of mind untroubled by thoughts of revenge.

But if you insist, then I can thoroughly recommend Randalynn's tale 'Stark - Saving Grace.' She is far more bloodthirsty than I! :)

Thanks again Adietrech for remembering.

Sincerely,

Fleurie

Fleurie

Fleurie

But Fairy Tales ARE an important educational tool...

...or pehaps I'm confusing them with parables or "Fables" - I don't know. And right and wrong DO matter - the trick is to discern and distinguish them in a murky world of shades of gray. Thus the debate. I'm not surprised, of course, Fleurie, by your reference to "torture" in the current political discourse; in fact, I agree with you. But pointing out that others are ALSO guilty does little to lessen the wrongness, nor does there seem to be any reason to even mention it, except in some sort of defense of Grace and her minions. Be that as it may. Thank you for directing me to Randalynn's story. Well written, as always, but strangely unsatisfying to me. Perhaps "revenge" is not really what I seek, but simply an acknowledgement that, no matter how heinous other acts of mankind have been and continue to be, they do NOT provide a "frame of reference" to view Grace's behavior toward David as anything other than the sheer maliciousness that it appears to be - that you in fact, WROTE it to be, as I understand it.

And I do not seek "moral certainties" - there is no such thing in the world I inhabit and and the sensory input I assimilate. There is only the desire to find truth, diluted to whatever degree - preferably through rational and well-constructed debate, rather than "right through might" as grace (and others) would have it. Or is truth also nonexistent or irrelevant in a current world of moral ambiguities, my dear Fleurie? Would you have the aggregate thought, introspection, and evaluation of philosophers throughout human history reduced to insignificance, simply because many politicians and their constituents can warp and distort truth and meaning to their own purposes in a world of intellectual lassitude? Who was it who said "all that is necessary for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing"?

Time for another brandy - I hope you're pleased with yourself, Fleurie ;-)

There were so many ...

... characters in DoC, Adietrich, and as in life you often meet people whose motives are confusing or murky at best. For example, how could Helen work with Grace, knowing her complete and total absence of anything like a conscience? If profit matters more than people to Grace (with success in all things mattering most of all), how could anyone believe her feelings for them were anything stronger than what she might feel for a pet? It's like working side by side with Jeffrey Dalmer or Hannibal Lechter - when you KNOW people mean so little to them AS people, I would imagine you would keep waiting for them to finally decide you're more useful as a meal than as a co-worker.

If I were in Helen's shoes, I couldn't bear to be near her, let alone work by her side. Because Grace has proven time and again that the rights of others mean nothing next to what she wants to accomplish. if she decided Helen needed to be killed to advance her own success, she might shed a single tear -- but then be extremely efficient about ending her life, even to the point of ensuring she wouldn't suffer as a mark of her affection.

Still, i think with DoC you're going to have to be content with the fact that everyone and everything isn't explained -- that, just like in life, some people are mysteries and always will be. Including Grace, and all who work with her.

Even Hitler liked puppies -- and strangely enough, the puppies even liked him back.

Randalynn

do you honestly think

i started reading this on another site and came here to finish it last night. do you honestly think the governments of the would would waste time using forced fem on several million guys. no. they would create a pandemic or lob a few big nukes around to bring the population of the world down. it has already stated with bird flu, asian flu, etc. third world countries are a test bed for these new bioweapons.

Well...

Look here:

The US military investigated building a "gay bomb", which would make enemy soldiers "sexually irresistible" to each other, government papers say.

Voices from the past

The problem is that the countries particularly effected by my scenario are China and India. So do you honestly think that the USA or any other power would seriously consider 'nuking' them? Now there are third world countries in that part of the world who would also be effected but surely China, who will shortly overtake the USA as an economic power, doesn't fall into such a category? And India's economic growth is not far behind. Moreover both countries are themselves threatened internally by the problem and it is notoriously difficult to wipe out one's own population or even a proportion of it.

What I propose is merely an option. A plan B, or C, or D. A fall back situation that perhaps no one seriously believes in but what else do you propose? Apart from mass murder?

To dismiss an hypothesis, however unlikely, is easy. But try coming up with an alternative. That tests ones ingenuity a little more.

And that is what Grace de Messembry exploited. Her solution was the only one on the table.

Fleurie Fleurie

Fleurie

DoC - Caught up on all the comments and have one more

I just finished reading all the comments. Don't know how I missed this story over here when it was first published but I did. I understand your reason for a Sopranos ending. I mean David should have his Psychopathic closeup Mr. DeMille. We can't have evil rich b--tchs ride off into the sunset. David could enter the balcony, fire a head shot in Helen and Francesca, then a knee, knee, shoulder, shoulder in Grace. Carve up her face and generally mess her up just short of killing her. Leave her crippled, maimed and without her co-conspirators. David could then try to get away or even kill himself to bring finallity to it all. Give the b--ch someting to think about. I don't how easy it is to get weapons in the UK but there must be a subculture that sells them.

Echoes from the Past

Alas there are, I believe, all too many weapons available in the more deprived back streets of our great cities as well as amongst the criminal fraternity. In neither of these circles do I move so I would personally have some difficulty. As indeed would David I expect.

I think he probably just wanted to get away from it. To work out his own salvation. To forget about it, blank it of from his conciousness. Remember perhaps only the good things ... the friendship he found.

I personally can see only disadvantages for him in seeking retribution. It would serve no purpose. The Venumar Foundation would anyway continue, as would the Bare Branches' project, albeit perhaps with reduced state of efficiency. Albeit with now faceless boardroom members searching for profit. It would put him at risk, the difficulty of getting to Grace, even if he had a suitable weapon would be insurmountable.

I have never seen the point of revenge, or retribution, call it what you will. It seems such a senseless, counterproductive, emotion. Better by far to move on and live your life without letting the canker of hate gnaw at you, disfiguring your future. I expect David feels the same way.

Fleurie Fleurie

Fleurie

Nearly Impeccable!

I stumbled on the link here and spent the majority of today reading and finishing the story.

The progression, the characters, the locales, the mental turbulence...all outstandingly written out. There were a few blips here and there, mostly him repeating the "defeat" mantras over and over again within ridiculously short timespans (or... well, character/word/paragraph) at least, but most likely just my frustration with David. I'd jump at the opportunity myself, but I know the insecurities towards manipulations of one's mental gender too well, so I can understand him wanting to protect the only shreds of himself he had left, his name and sexual identity. Well, he had his penis too and his body was mostly normal underneath the makeup and clothing, but those seemed secondary unless light was shone on them.

As I read on I grew quite attached to the characters. Anne was one I really felt for, whereas good old Grace was just the opposite. I felt the mistrust in Laura... in all but Emma and Anne, truly. Your story emanated a good sense of humanity in David's reactions. He was SO unbearingly transparent though. Honestly, Grace didn't need those cameras for the most part. All she needed was to talk to David and prod certain topics to find out which he was lying about. A terrible liar, he was.

Anyways, the "mystery" beyond it was of less importance that I had initially thought, but as time went by it kind of dawned on me that if thinking relatively, it wouldn't make sense for all that to be suddenly thrust upon the plot at the last moment, so I pretty much discarded any thought towards it and hoped we readers would learn about it as an easter egg of sorts. I was kind of close, with the China population ratio, and working to amend it. I had no idea how it would be possible(and nor does Grace :P) to achieve such a goal though, and I guess in the end it's like one of those elaborate scams. It's actually refreshing for it NOT to have accomplished such an outlandish ideal out of the blue. Thanks for having two feet on the ground(so to say) when writing this!

The 'Epilogue' was a nice touch, but it just...I don't know how to say it. It hurt, I guess. I'm not a professional statistician, but I DO indeed love my research and maintaining the ...oh blast it, it's late and my mind has turned to mush. I can't think of the word. Integrity seems to awkwardly fit the bill in this case...maintaining the integrity of the data is crucial to any trials. Grace is effectively double dipping by exposing David to subliminal messages after the initial exposure period.
It's like placing an egg in a cooking pan on high, and cooking it for a while before turning the pan off. Sure, the egg is cooking still(the pan still remaining hot), and naturally one would leave it at that to see if they could produce an edible meal of it. They wouldn't have a second pan on medium heat or med-low and toss the egg into that. In terms of collecting reliable data, it makes no sense and ruins the trial. It's immediately bad data.

Now is Grace seemingly keeping tabs to find out which direction David turns? Yes, it seems so. But it's this stage where she's supposed to be hands off and monitoring, not continuing influence, or prodding the data in a direction she wants it to go. If she really wanted to, I'm sure she could place a filter in his plumbing to add hormones to his tap water if she wanted to. Or various tricks of that sort. She could still very well force him into what she has planned for others...extended the 'training' to see exactly what it took to get it done. Though it seems she had wanted to see which way David would go, having to deal with the addiction and lasting effects of the "academy" or whatnot. She shouldn't be double dipping, it just makes no sense other than a sadistic glee which I frankly don't get from her. Grace is more, at least to me, akin to a well oiled machine with a task at hand to complete(not to mention a superb AI). She had plans for everyone there, and for David especially, and everything seemed on track until her hiccup at the end.

But whatever. I'm just rambling and nit-picking. :D

Excellent story, Fleurie! It's nice to see an author that steps out of the realm of average, overdone ideas and truly writes a story that makes me remember why I read stories in the first place. I like having the security to imagine the ending myself, in special cases like these. I can honestly say this has been the most enjoyable TG story I've ever read.

Thank you for writing out such an elaborate journey.

If only all nits ....

were so worth the picking.

Dear Yasmin,

Thanks for your detailed and perceptive comment and critique. High praise in deed at which I blush. Glad you enjoyed it so.

Your comment made on Fictionmania as to the relevance of China and the 111 million was astute. No-one else had picked up on that. Although it is indeed odd that the population ratio and the surplus should both feature the same number. Something which had escaped my notice.

I wrote it over quite a long period of time with much inactivity and doing-other-things between episodes, which probably contributed to the 'blips' and the over repetition. I had often only a hazy idea about what had gone before. :) I am not really a writer but just thought of a plot that was worth the telling and then had difficulty in finding the time to do it.

You are right about it being flawed by Grace de Messembry's 'double dipping'. It diminishes both the plot rationale and Grace as a character. Mea Culpa. Others whose opinion I value have also pointed it out and if I had to write it again it would be otherwise.

So you ramble to a good and valid point.

Again many, many thanks for the comment.

Hugs,

Fleurie Fleurie

Fleurie

I normally don't read stories like this

but once i started i couldn't quit. I've blown two and a half days reading it, I'm a slow reader, and have to respond to some of the comments. As an author I tend to associate with my characters, become them so to speak or they would just be a faceless part of a story. I thoughly enjoyed Grace to be honest. Sure, she was brutal, but without her there would be no corporation, or story. The premise of the story, finding a way to please millions of horny men was a giggle. The means to that end are somewhat questionable, but hey, this is a fiction site. I know when a story is well written and thought has gone into it when readers comment on how horrible someone in the story is. Concerning Helen and Laura, they were obviously well compensated for doing their jobs, and buying into the notion that they were helping the world, causes can do that. This was I think the most fastinating story I've read in a very long time, and I think it was best for the reader to decide what happened to Sophie/ David in the end. If this story was a simple line from point A to point B, it wouldn't hold its fastination. To be blunt, I loved it. I also loved the reference to Plymouth Gin. For some reason it's a bitch to find here in the states. I love a good gin and have to substitue Saphire when Plymouth isn't available. A very nice gin is made locally by the Anchor Steam brewery, but it too is very limited in quatity. Thank you for a wonderful story, Arecee

Glad you made an exception :)

Arecee,

And that you enjoyed it. Thought it worthwhile. It means a lot when when writers of your calibre are seduced by a tale. Particularly pleased that you enjoyed Grace. She has had a bad press but I had so much fun writing her dialogue that I became quite enamoured of her myself. Granted I would have felt differently had I been in David's shoes.

I am also pleased that you liked the ending. I think you are very much in the minority there as you will have gleaned from the comments. However I still think it was the only logical one. And moreover that it fitted the tale. Plymouth gin is a delight isn't it? Mind you I would not shun Sapphire either. Alas the Anchor Steam Brewery seem not the be export oriented. Understandable if the locals' thirst outstrips their manufacturing capacity I suppose.

Thanks again for your generous comment,

Hugs,

Fleurie Fleurie

Fleurie

I'm not happy with

I'm not happy with abuse.
Simple as that.

Believing that you can do a thing because of your money or social standing cuts no cheese with me.
Neither should it do with you.

It seems that the proverb ruling here is 'because I can'.

A better proverb to live by would be 'there but for the grace of providence walks I'
Corruption will always be corruption.

And the problem with our earth is not an uneven gender blend, it's overpopulation.
Which we seem to be 'solving' with our 'Global Warming'.

cheers
Yoron.

What is your point.Yo?

Forgive me I am not at all sure what your trying to get at Yo.

a.) Are you trying to attribute to me the emotions and/or philosophy of one or more of my characters?

b.) Making a statement as to your own personal outlook on life?

c.) Insisting that I subscribe to that way of life, forsaking all that is evil in the world and henceforth devoting myself to your own highly commendable moral stance?

d.) Posting several uplifting proverbs for our digestion and approval whilst pointing out that a = a ?

e.) Shedding new light on world problems?

If a.) Then I recommend that you learn to differentiate between tales and tellers of tales.

If b.) Then I think you should be applauded for your upright, if naive and otherworldly, stance. I only hope that your eventual discovery of the role of money and social standing is not too traumatic.

If c,) Then I think a friend should take you to one side and point out that dictating to others what they may or may not believe is unlikely to gain you a reputation for tolerance and may even cause a degree of resentment in the hearts of the more sensitive. Phrases like "Neither should it do with you" are not conducive to social harmony.

If d.) Then I wouldn't expect immediate popular acclaim. Something generally snappier would be preferable. Also check the grammar do. The example you give would I think be more generally acceptable as 'there but for the grace of providence walk I' Also you might consider gracing Providence with a capital letter on this occasion.

If e.) Then what you suggest is a rehash of "God will send a war" . Oh just don't Yo. Please. Nobody will thank you for it.

Cheers,

Fleurie Fleurie

Fleurie

Wow..just finished (started reading on FM 1st)

Frank's picture

Great story Fleurie,

1st let me say that the more I read the comments here about Grace/Helen..and your defense of them, the more it reminded me of the Nazi's. Human experiments, Grace/Hitler, Helen/Himmler..Laura Emma the German citizens just doing their duty.
The Doctor's being especially guilty.

Did I mention GREAT story?

The Nazi reference is just the old history lessons of those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. In this case it's a company being financed by Governments, but there are victims just the same..whether it's 10's, 10's of thousands, 111+ millions. I had heard about the male/female ratio problems in news programs here in the US so I was able to guess the purpose of Bare Branches in a previous chapter. Nice tie-in. However I believe governments are more likely to find other inhumane methods of dealing with the problems.

Did I mention how great this story was?

As for the revenge angle...there are other besides David (who I happen to think would find himself again) who could seek it on his and Olive's behalf. Anne would be one albeit unlikely candidate. Coralie isn't mentally all there as we know, she could run the limo into the river (which I thought of as a possible ending).

A more fun possibility would be David drugging the ladies, capturing them and administering Testosterone for a period long enough to spur hair growth on their faces and deepening of vocal cords :) I don't believe David would live a long life if he couldn't go back to himself in the end. It's not about being a woman, it's about his core identity being ripped away..Sophie is an artificial persona, she didn't have a childhood, life experiences..she wasn't who he really was deep inside and just didn't know it. She was something forced upon a normal man against his will and through the use of fear, intimidation, and threats of a doggy nature.

What a great read!!!

Hugs

Alexis

Hugs

Frank

False premise

For a long time overpopulation has been cited as being one of the main threats to the future of humanity and is still quoted by many as being a fact despite it now being shown that the population is not only stabilising but may in the future reduce. Previous bad science still being touted as fact. Why do I bring this up, the bare branches theory is the same it relies on all men being obsesed with procreating, sex and having an heir, but we are not, even if a society did develop were true females were a minority, it would not mean that unattached men would become sex starved looking to hump anything in a bra and panties, just ad we accept that tg individuals must be accepted for their internal view of themselves, then we must also accept that just by altering the outer appearance and using drigs and threats will not have any long term lasting effect unless it is continually re inforced, and would still not produce an accepting individual, also while grace is a monster, it is her helpers who are gar worse, like the nazi doctors before them they see nothing wrong in what they are doing and realy need to meet a horrific and slow end at the hands of one of their victims. I liked randalyns follow up were Grace gets punished but there was never anything to her helpers, i know this is an older story but in tofays world you would hope a whistle-blower would post online what was happening and then see the lot of them try to hide behind lawyers trying to justify their actions only to disappear suddenly and turn up in a Mexican brothel