Pandora

The veil of blackness drew swiftly back from Pandora's eyes. She looked at the fire burning low in the fireplace and contemplated adding more wood to it before her guest arrived. She could just as easily call on one of her staff to do it, but preferred as much as possible, to do things for herself.

With some effort she pushed herself up from her chair and shuffled over to the fireplace. Her creaking joints protested as she got down and picked up another log and put it into the fireplace and poked at the embers. With the fire sufficiently revived she turned around and noticed the pair of eyes staring at her.

"So you followed me here this time did you?" she said to the old tabby cat sitting in it's favourite sunlit spot on the window sill.

"I wish you could talk cat." she chuckled. "You know after all these years I really should give you a name." The cat looked at her giving her no clue as to its private thoughts or any hint as to what name it would prefer.

Getting no help from the cat she decided to sit again till her guest arrived. The renewed warmth from the fire had eased some of the aches and pains in her body and she moved more easily back toward the chair.

She was just about to sit down when there was a timid knock at the door. 'Ah, he's here.' she thought. With renewed vigour she moved to the front door before one of her staff could get there. Alice came swiftly and silently from the back of the house only to see her mistress there before her, with that 'cat that ate the canary' smile of hers.

"Alice I'll have my usual tea and my guest likes his coffee black with a couple of sugars. Thank you."

As Alice turned her back Pandora almost stuck her tongue out at her. 'Thought you could get to the door before me. Ha' There really was no malice between them, more like a friendly competition. Alice would do far more for her if Pandora would let her.

With Alice gone to attend to the refreshments Pandora turned and opened the door.

"Yes. Can I help you young man?"

The distinguished looking thirty something business man looked embarrassed and desperate at the same time. He felt like a fool to believe the rumours, yet at the same point in time he could not turn up the opportunity now that he had tracked the old lady down.

"Yes, Ma'am. Could I come in and talk to you for a few minutes?" said the nervous gentleman.

"Well I don't normally let total strangers into my house without first knowing who they are." Pandora loved this part of the game. Drawing the seeker out and getting them to reveal themselves.

"Um, yes. I'm sorry ma'am my name is John Billington."

"Well come in then Mr. Billington. You can call me Pandora if you like."

Pandora led the young man into the sitting room with the fire still burning cosily. The cat in the window watched with complete indifference as the nervous young man entered the room and sat down in the chair across from Pandora.

Moments later Alice materialized with a tray containing the tea for her mistress and the coffee for the visitor, and just as quietly disappeared from the room.

"Well, what can I do for you Mr. Billington?"

The poor young man started to sweat and loosened his jacket and tie. He tried to speak but the words got caught in his throat. Taking a sip of his coffee and a deep breath he tried again.

"Well, this is embarrassing." the young man paused and looked ready to bolt for the front door.

Pandora also loved this bit. It was not that she was cruel, but watching to see if the seeker would go through with their quest or run away never knowing the truth always amused her. Even with her 'gift' she had no idea what he would do, which made it even more fun.

"You see I've heard some things ... rumours about you. Not that I believe them at all mind you. They say that you can grant things for people, um, wishes if you prefer, help them get their deepest desire." as he said this he turned every shade of red possible.

"Well let's get one thing straight shall we Mr. Billington? You wouldn't be here if you didn't think it might be true, or if you weren't desperate enough to hope beyond hope that it were true." Pandora said with a gleam in her eyes.

The young man nodded his head in shame. Yet he did not know what else to say as the old lady had neither confirmed nor denied what he had said.

She sat there looking at the young man. To him it felt like she was looking into the deepest parts of his soul. He wanted to run but could not pass this opportunity up.

Pandora knew everything about him, she had from the moment the blackness had left her in this place and time.

"If I'm who you think or hope I am what makes you think that lying to me will help you get what you want?" said Pandora. The cat watching from its window sill loved to watch Pandora play with her mice.

This shocked the young man. "I don't understand? I haven't lied to you."

"Come. Come. Mr. Willms. If I am capable of what you believe, don't you think I would also know who you are and what you want?"

The young man almost had a heart attack when he heard the old lady say his real name. 'How does she know who I am?' he thought. 'I haven't told anyone about her. I've kept my search secret. I've discreetly listened, never asking anyone about the rumours and I've never given a clue to anyone. I don't even live near here and I'm not well known enough for her to know about me.'

Pandora laughed. "I know everything about you because you know everything about you. Every thought, every feeling you have, I know. Now before we go further I need to explain some things to you."

Pandora paused for a moment remembering. Over the years Pandora had helped many seekers with achieving their heart's desire. Some turned out quite well, many turned out badly, most were a mixture, then there was Adele.

Adele had been THE bad one, the one that would haunt Pandora for the rest of her days. If Pandora had the power to refuse Adele she would have. The pain of Adele's soul, her love, twisted into hate, was beyond Pandora's ability to understand.

The blackness had left Pandora as it usually did. She had no idea at first where she was or the year. She appeared to be a middle aged woman who was mildly overweight but otherwise healthy. She knew she would be receiving an upset woman in a few minutes and poured some wine for herself and her guest. Minutes later the attractive young lady pounded at her door.

Adele had practically pushed right past Pandora. Adele's anger flowed from her. Pandora wanted to run from this woman but was unable to move away. She followed the woman into the living room.

"I know you can give me my revenge. I want my former fiancée and his family to suffer. I don't care how it is done I want them to suffer. I want to watch them suffer."

Pandora knew the young woman had been in love with a young Jewish man. His family was strict Orthodox Jewish and would not hear of him marrying outside the faith. In the end the young man although desperately in love with Adele had chosen to follow his families wishes and stay in the family.

Adele had never wanted the family's money, just the love of the young man. When he rejected her the love she had for him turned to utmost hate. She was consumed by her hate.

Pandora had tried to explain that Adele needed to be very specific about her desires. To not leave anything to chance, because whatever you did not choose the universe chose for you. Pandora also explained that no matter what, Adele would lose something as the universe never gave anything without taking something in return.

Adele did not listen and did not care. She wanted revenge and she did not care how it was done. With tears in her eyes Pandora felt the universe shift and change around her.

Adele got her revenge when she became Adolf Hitler. The holocaust that befell the Jewish people and anyone else in Adolf's way was beyond what Pandora could stand. If she could have undone the horror and killed herself to prevent it from happening again she would have. The forces that made Pandora what she was would not allow it and she was forced to live with the memory and the terror that it could happen again.

That had happened countless seekers ago. Pandora rarely existed in one place or time for more than a day. Usually it was only a matter of hours before the blackness took her to the next seeker. She was never the same woman twice.

"How much do you know about science Mr. Willms?" asked Pandora.

"Not too much, I'm a corporate accountant. Science was never my strong point."

"Have you heard of quantum probability and the law of thermodynamics?" Pandora found that if you explained things from a scientific viewpoint that people had a tendency to accept what you said, especially if it was beyond them. She was not completely sure that she had things right, having only had minimal chance to learn such things, but it would do for Mr. Willms.

"Well yes, but I don't really understand those things." said a confused Mr. Willms.

"Quantum probability means that all possible outcomes are available but the moment an observation is made the other factors are unknown. Say if you know the speed of an electron you can't know the location or vice a versa. If you don't have what you desire fully observed in your mind the universe fills those things in for you out of the multitude of possibilities. You may not like what the universe chooses."

"As for the law of thermodynamics basically it states that there will always be loss when you convert energy from one form to another. That is the reason why you can't have a perpetual motion machine. Some of the energy is always lost as heat because of friction or other forces. No matter what you choose there will be loss of some kind. You may get your desire and be killed by a bus minutes later. You may end up sick and die after long suffering."

"There is no free ride here Mr. Willms. If you choose to go ahead you must be prepared to face the consequences."

"Can't you make things go the way I want them to? You're the one granting my wish."

"I don't grant your wish. I am the catalyst through which you grant your own wish. Your own desires both good and bad are given to you by you. I have no power to change anything."

The young man sat in silence torn with desire and fear of all that could go wrong. 'After all is my life so bad? I'm wealthy enough that money was not a concern. I have a loving wife and children. I have friends who care about me.'

"What will happen to my family if I go ahead?"

"I don't know what will happen. If you get your wish you may never be born and your children will never have been. Your wife would live a life never knowing you existed. There is a universe of possibilities out there Mr. Willms. Can you think of everything? Can you hold all your desires in your mind and make it happen?"

Theodore Willms sat debating with himself with all of his might. If he did this Jamie and Samantha would cease to be. Karen would potentially end up marrying her old beau. If she did that she would most probably die, because her former beau beat the woman after Karen to death. Even if things turned out OK for Karen his children would still be gone.

But his desire was so strong, could he continue to go on living his present life with it. He had given so much to others. Living his life the way they wanted him to. Being the good husband, being the good father, being the good son, the good employee, the good business owner. On and on. Where were his wants, his desires, his needs in all this? Why should he not get what he wanted?

With tears streaming down his face he made his choice. No matter what he loved his family and he could never do anything to hurt them.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I guess I am just wasting your time." The young man stood up and Pandora escorted him to the door.

"Ted, don't forget to pick up a present for Samantha's birthday on your way home. Thank you for stopping by and chatting with an old lady. Things will be better now for you and for your family." said Pandora as the man walked out the door with his back straight and his head held high.

Pandora went back into the sitting room and gently woke Mary Willms-Smith up.

"Congratulations my dear you made the right decision. Your brother Theodore is now a happy man. He never had a desire to be a woman. He and his family will be happier than ever now. By the time he gets home he will have forgotten everything about me and his former desire to be a woman."

"Because you gave up your hearts desire for the sake of others you got what you wanted without hurting them. There will be things you didn't expect in your new life and you will have some loss but overall you will be happy with your life I think."

Mary jumped up and gave Pandora a kiss on the cheek as tears streamed down her face. She was finally whole now. Her family was safe and no one would ever know. She would still be part of her wife and children's life, but now only as a sister-in-law and aunt. Mary giggled to herself. Until five minutes ago Teddy had been an only child.

"Thank you Pandora. How can I ever repay you?" said Mary.

"My dear by choosing the unselfish path you have thanked me. You are one of the few that has chosen well. Even after my warning many think that they can think of everything when fulfilling their desires, often it does not turn out as they might have wished. Be happy in the life that you now have."

Mary's cell phone rang. "Hi honey. ... You made the sale that's great news! ... The rest of the day off. ... Dinner and dancing. I'll be home in half an hour. ... I love you too sweetheart."

"I'm sorry Pandora, but I've got to go, Jeff is taking me out for dinner and dancing. Thank you for everything." Mary practically danced through the door, and out to her car.

Pandora sighed as she shut the door and her old body complained all the way back to the sitting room. Alice had already been in and cleaned up. The fire was again fading in the fireplace.

"Well cat we've gotten another seeker to make the right choice." The cat watched as the old lady stooped to add another log to the fire.

Pandora stood as the fire once more danced in the fireplace. She turned to look out the window at the setting sun. Even the cat watched until the sun dipped below the horizon.

"Well cat the perfect ending for today. Don't you agree." said a happy Pandora.

The blackness faded away and a young Pandora was standing in a sunlit field, with a gentle breeze blowing and the scent of spring flowers fresh in the air. The cat had followed her again. It was sitting in the grass contemplating catching a mouse that was moving nearby.

"I don't suppose you know where we are cat?"

Pandora turned around. There was something familiar about this place but she could not remember it. She eventually turned in a full circle to find a man wearing some kind of ancient attire standing in front of her.

"Welcome home Pandora."

Home? Yes this place was where she had been born, this was where she grew from a baby to a child, this was where she had died. There was no sign of the village or the temples with the exception of some rubble where the goddess's temple once stood.

Her memories suddenly came flooding back. She had been the child of the high priestess and high priest. The men of the village lived on one side and had their male god that they worshipped. The women of the village lived on the other side and worshipped the goddess. Once a year the men and the women would get together and join so that children might be born. The children were raised by their mothers until the age of five, when the male children were given to the men and were given names.

Pandora had hated being called Son of Ettan. It grieved her mother to call her that, but the laws of the village and the gods had to be obeyed. When Pandora was five she was taken by her father and given a name by him. She hated it more than she hated being called Son of Ettan. She grew as a young man and under her father's training and abuse become one of the strongest and most feared of the next generation. She hated herself. She hated her body. She hated the men and their god.

A child's tenth birthday was a special occasion. This was a day when the child was given an adult name and made a full member of the tribe and religion. She would rather die than take this final step to join with the men and their god.

One night a few days before her birthday she slipped out of the men's side of the village and quietly entered the goddess's temple. She prayed for the goddess to make her a woman, so that she could return and be with those she loved and understood, to be with her sisters and her mother. She pleaded and wept for hours until she was pulled away from feet of the goddess's statue. The temple guard took her before the high priestess, her mother.

"I'm sorry my child but you have defiled our temple and the goddess by your presence. You know that the penalty is death." Her mother was crying because she knew why her child had come. Even as the high priestess she could do nothing to protect her child, she could not disobey the law.

The temple guard gently took Pandora and laid her on the altar and secured her. Her mother then appeared still crying, but wearing the robes of her of office. The blessings and cleansing ceremony done her mother held the knife ready to take Pandora's life.

"I'm sorry my child and I know that your soul is not male, but like ours. I love you. Please forgive me."

"I love you too mother. There is nothing to forgive, it is better to die than to be imprisoned in this form."

Pandora looked away from her mother to statue of the goddess. "Forgive me goddess. If I cannot join you in life then let me do so in death."

The knife slid into Pandora's heart and the blackness took her.

Pandora looked at the young man and perceived it was the goddess in her former male form. She dropped to her knees.

"Forgive me my lady. I meant no harm when I entered your temple. I only wished to join with you and my sisters."

"Arise, you have no need to fear me. I knew your heart and saved you. Now is your time to make a difficult choice." The young man in the blink of an eye became a young woman more befitting a goddess.

"You have served your punishment and have always honoured me. I will free you but you will become a man again and you will live with your father and brothers for the rest of your days. If you refuse you will remain Pandora wandering time and space, where you may meet worse than Adele."

Pandora was in shock. To be free and to never have to worry about another Adele, but the price was too high. To become a man again, to live as one of them.

"My lady, as much as I would be free of the life I now have, I cannot be a man. It would destroy my soul and I would become like Adele. Better that I live as I am and try to prevent others from following her path."

The goddess smiled. "You have chosen well, Pandora. You have proved yourself worthy to be a daughter of mine. You can live anywhere and anytime you choose, but you can never return to your village and your family. But choose carefully. If you choose your hearts desire poorly you could end up like those that did not heed your counsel."

"My lady is there any way to undo Adele's revenge. To restore the world to the harmony it had before our cursed meeting? If there is I would give my life to make it happen."

"No my child. Things can only be changed once. Why that is I do not know."

Pandora thought for a few moments before replying. "My lady since I cannot return to you and those that I love, let me enter the womb of a worthy woman and grow into my womanhood there. All that I ask is the she love me as my mother loved me."

"Are you sure my child?"

"Yes. I can be free of the pain of losing you and my mother and the pain of those who chose poorly. I will be as new as a clean slate, untarnished by the past."

"May you find happiness in your new life."

Pandora disappeared and left the goddess standing alone in the field. The goddess had not told Pandora all that had happened. When Pandora's mother had taken her child's life she took her own giving it to the goddess to save her child.

The other reason why Pandora could never go back was because a few months afterwards the village was overrun by invaders, with their own religion. None of the villagers would bow to the invaders' god and the entire village down to the last animal was destroyed. Nothing survived, no stone was left standing. There would have been nothing for Pandora to go back to.

The goddess knew this day would come. No one knew her or her male counterpart outside the village. It was the faith of the people that made her, gave her power. Without them she was nothing. Pandora was the last of the village. Pandora was all that was left to give her form and power. Now that Pandora no longer knew her she herself would die.

The goddess smiled. Pandora got her wish, but the universe does like its tricks. Her mothers would love Pandora as much as her first mother had. Being the daughter of a lesbian couple would present challenges that the child would find difficult, but not insurmountable.

As the goddess faded from view the last thing visible were the eyes of the tabby, which blinked and were gone.