Being who you are
============
© 2012 Hanna Leann Melton
Holly Hart Editor
----
It was a bright sunny Friday morning when Jim awoke to the sounds of the upcoming day. In his dreams he was always a girl, when he woke up he was always disorientated.

Just one more day of high school, he thought, and then he was free for the summer. He sprang up and out of his bed listening to his mother preparing breakfast. He quickly got dressed in his school uniform and ran down stairs to start the day. He greeted his mother with a little hug and sat at the kitchen table.

From the corner of her eye, his mother looked at her only child sitting there eating. His parents owned a import/export business that had just gone corporate. From that they had a lot of money so his mom had gone back to school and was now in the last stages to receive her law degree, so she could be the corporate lawyer for the business. Jim’s parents still dressed in the 1960s hippie bohemian style so he had very long hair, not that he was unpopular in any way, but she did wish he would gain a little more weight and muscle tone.

The boy was only about 5'7" and 120 pounds soaking wet. At the age of 15 he looked and acted so feminine and she thought he should be a little more masculine but she knew it would all end up fine in the end. He was just developing a little slower than most boys his age. While Jim was eating he heard voices coming from outside near the street followed by a few loud bangs. He was about to ask his mother what it was, when she interrupted his thoughts with "You're going to be late Jim." He quickly agreed, grabbed his books, and headed out the door.

The last day of school is always a joke, not much to do, no homework and no lessons, it was pure boredom in his book and didn't make any sense. The day crept by at a snail’s pace but finally 3:30 rolled around and it was over. After saying his goodbyes to his classmates and teachers he scurried back home to start his long awaited summer vacation. On his way home he saw a girl with a VW bus who was selling clothing out of it.

"Hi," Jim said, "my name is Jim".

“Hi, I’m Flower.” Then she added, “You’re pretty”

"Thanks" Jim said

“How did a girl get a name like Jim?" Flower asked.

Jim though about this, then his dream, and said, "My real name is Sara, I just went thru a tom-boy phase. I really need girl clothes, so if you don't mind driving me home I will buy all you want to sell!"

"Cool" said Flower “I really need the money for gas, the cops keep driving by and its only a matter of time before they start to hassle me"

As they drove to Jim’s, now Sara’s house, Flower told the story of how her parents were killed in an auto accident and how she packed all she could in the bus, maxed out the ATM card and went on the run from family protective services. She started in Maine and took the long way to (she wanted to see the Appalachian Mountains then she headed west out of Ashville North Carolina) New Mexico where she ran out of gas money and had to start to sell stuff.

At the house she unloaded the clothes and Sara tried them on, she had beautiful bras and panties, practically a Victoria’s secret on wheels and she explained her mom was a shopaholic and could not stop buying her things. Flower asked if it was okay, as all the bras and panties were used.

Sara said “No, they are clean and well taken care of” then Sara had fun with modeling all the clothing and gave Flower the $1,000 dollars she had saved up doing baby-sitting. Flower thanked her for her generosity and went back on the road promising to write.

Her mom and dad came home and Sara went back to being Jim.

Later that night trying to sleep, Jim/Sara just couldn't stop thinking about what had happened, first he was just a normal everyday boy on the block, then, he found Flower and now had a complete wardrobe of female clothing and now he could not stop thinking about a way to really become a girl, it all happened so fast. What's a girl going to do? He really loved being a girl and not being seen as a boy.

After what seemed like forever he finally fell asleep with the memory of him dressed in an Indian hippie dress, in her new bra and panties. When s/he woke up s/he ran her hands over the bra, felt the small mound it made, the, down over the flatness of the bikini panties (she tucked herself well) and felt the true person inside she was a girl, petty and happy.

As Flower left their house yesterday she thought about "know thy self" from her dream, she thought it was weird at the time, but now she understood. Mom knocked on the bathroom door and said come down to breakfast. S/he said "Yes mommy" and went into her bed room and found a long t-shirt. Wearing it like a dress that just barely covered her panties, s/he went down stairs without realizing what s/he was doing.

His mom took a double take and said "Wow, Jim you look and act like my daughter, not my son!"

That startled him out of his daze and back into reality, "Sorry, Mom, I am still not awake." S/he got up, saying, "I’ll go upstairs and get dressed."

"No just eat you breakfast or it will get cold," Mom replied in a hurry, not paying attention to anything but going out the door. "Bye dear, I am leaving now, I’ll clean up when I come home." With a kiss on the cheek she left.

Jim finished and thought he should do more to help mom and cleaned the kitchen. While he was cleaning, his cousin Terri came over, walked in, and said, “Is Jim home?”

Jim turned around and she gasped. “You looked like a girl with just that t-shirt on.”

Jim blushed and went to run upstairs but she grabbed his arm.

The only words that came to him were, "What are you doing here!?"

"Well I was bored staying at home and your mom said you might want some company so I had my dad drop me off on the way to work. What are you doing dressed like that?"

It was such a shock that Jim started to cry and told her all that happened and the dreams by the time he was done they were sitting on the kitchen floor holding each other and crying.

"I always felt since we were are the same age and grew up together we were sisters, and I came to talk to you about falling in love with a girl in school and I don't know what to do!" Terri sobbed.

More hugging and sobbing ensued, when it was done they got up. Terri said, "I know my dress will fit you better than me," and pulled the mini dress off so fast Jim was stunned. "You're my sister, silly! Just put on the dress, oh and here are my panties and a bra. Take yours off. I will put your boys clothes on and I will be your brother. Slip on the dress and make coffee while I change in to your clothes and use the bathroom."

Jim got dressed made coffee and felt really happy. Terri came down looking so much like a boy Jim wondered why he had never noticed. She had short hair and was very muscular from working as a VW mechanic and welder, plus she did yoga regularly.

Still Jim wondered so he asked "How did you get so buff, you don't even need the bra?”

Terri said "Well I have been taking hormones so I could be more like a boy, and I wore the dress and bra over here for you, I have seen you as a girl for a long time and came to talk to you about it, but I see you knew it all along."

Jim said "Could hormones make me a girl?"

"Yes, but you have to be sure. It's a permanent change. Do you really want to be a girl?"

"I am a girl. Call me Sara!"

“Okay, Sara. Do you have money to go shopping today?" Terri asked.

“No problem, I have my own account, I have easy access, I just spent a thousand on my new hippie bohemian wardrobe, but girls can always use more clothing."

"Let me see," said Terri

“Okay, let’s go back to my room and I will put on my knee high 3 inch square heel boots and you can look. when we return I can do a fashion show"

"Cool," said Terri.

They went upstairs, then left for the bank.

The bank teller, Crystal, Sara’s mom’s friend, was so busy she didn't ask why her friend was wearing a short dress and just handed over the cash.

She looked very stressed, she said, "I can’t deal with this, I am quitting after work, I should call your mom but I don't care," as she handed the money to her.

With that Sara and Terri left went to the mall. They both went in and used the unisex bathroom.

They hugged, Terri said "I love you, my sister."

Sara broke down and cried in her arm "We can help each other though this"

Terri said "You can be a mentor to me and show me how to find myself and show me a spiritual way to look at things, like in your dreams. Speaking of spiritual, let’s check out the yoga studio.”

“Is that your phone Sara?"

Sara answered it was her mom, they talked for a while and when Sara hung up she said "Mum said she was free this afternoon and wanted to meet us at Starbucks, have lunch, then a movie, I hope it’s okay, because I said we would."

After yoga, they caught the bus to Starbucks, sitting down Sara had an idea. "Stay with me this week, I’ll ask Mom. We have a lot to do."

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," was Terri’s answer.

Just then Sara’s phone rang as if it was right on cue, Sara talked for a moment then hung up and said “Wow, my mom just asked me to ask you the same thing! Talk about synchronicity”

“Here's our stop I love coffee. " Yes, and we can change in the Starbucks bathroom!" said Terri.

"Slow down girl what do you mean we can change?" replied Sara

"You still have my mini dress on!" Terri exclaimed.

"Oh yea, it was so natural I forgot. No wonder everyone treated me like a girl and I loved walking in high heel boots, which reminds, me why did you wear those clothes over anyway, you never wore a dress, or for that matter, knee high 3 in high heel boots?"

"To give them to you, silly” Terri replied.

While drinking coffee, Terri added, “I wish we did not have to change, I look like a guy in drag and I can’t walk in heels, looks like we are just going to hope your mom’s very understanding."

Terri said “I have an idea, remember the dress up game we played when we were about 4?"

Sara answered. "Some of it, but it was your game, so remind me Terri. What's the dress up game?"

"Well we dress in each other’s clothes and dare each other to go out," Terri replied

Sara said “No I have to be honest with my mom, she wants to thank me for cleaning the kitchen and that's why she’s is coming here for coffee and taking us out after picking us up. I am a little terrified at what might happen but I have always been honest with her and she has always listen to me before she made any decision."

Terri said "You have the best mom and dad, I guess all those hippie days opened their mind, my parents would freak out"

"Groovy huh." Sara laughed then added "Yea my dad wore Moroccan Jalaba’s and men's skirts called dhotis and sarongs"

Sara’s mom showed up and she just stared at her son, now daughter. She studied what Sara was wearing, a little low cut Indian hippie dress that came a little above mid thy, bare legs going in to knee high boots that had a three inch heel that was not pointed but square that looked like they came right out of 1969. No makeup but her hair was naturally a bit curled and the bra had enough push that he look like she had small breasts. She saw her daughter for the first time. She saw all the very feminine features and the way she acted was like she was raised a girl.

"Oh my god!" were the first words, Sara came to hug her mother she put her arms around her and started to cry. "You look just like me when I was your age!” she said.

Sara said "Is it ok, am I in trouble?"

"No dear I just did not expect to walk in and see my reflection, it makes me realize I need to let go and go back to who I really am and not be so sucked in to societies standards, let’s go eat and talk." Hanna (Sara's Mom) Said

"Are we going home first so I can change?" Sara kinda ask not really wanting to.

"No my dear daughter you should know me better than that, I love you as you are. Hanna replied then added

“Terri I hope you don't get mad but you look like a boy so do you want to be treated as my son?"

"Yes that would be wonderful and no I am not mad, let’s go."

Terri replied

After we ate, we went to a movie, we were having so much fun we did not see dad walk up.

"Like wow man it’s like you Hanna in 69 did I fall in to a time

machine?" Dad said startling us

My mom, Hanna laughed, "Jake we have lost one son but gained a daughter and a new son" Hanna said hugging and giving her husband a kiss.

Jake said "Groove Let’s go to dinner then bowling."

Sara said "Daddy, If I bowl people will see my panties!"

Dad playfully quickly lifted her dress and said "Their pretty and so are you!"

Blushing I pretended to hit him but then hugged and gave him a kiss instead. We came home very late. I put the clothes Terri and I bought away.

Mom said "You two always sleep in the same room is that still cool? Terri you know as well as I that your dad will have a cow so remember, don't tell him."

We said at the same time, "Yes mom, good night" and laughed all the way to my room.

Mom and dad said goodnight and headed for their room.

My room was the attic until dad made it in to a bedroom with a bath, the spiral staircase comes down in the far end of the kitchen, oh and I also have a balcony.

Mom and dad’s room was downstairs off of the den, it has a walk-in closet and a beautiful bathroom. The den (which was the office of the import company for a while) is also the dining room. On one end of the dining room is the kitchen then the living room. It's a weird arrangement, but dad started with a two room house and went from there and as you can tell he never planned much.

We undressed, I saw she was wearing my underwear under my clothes, Terri wanted to sleep in now, her underwear, me, I chose a nightie from the clothes I got from Flower.

The next morning mom woke us up, "Good morning sleepy heads" She said "Well look at you two, come down as you are and as soon as you can" and left as I was saying "but…."

I was a little worried as we walked in to the kitchen, I did put a bra on but my nightie was very see through, Terri put on my old pyjama bottoms, but was topless. Dad paid no attention, continuing to cook breakfast and mom grasped my hand in her own, the reassurance I felt coursed through me as I looked into my mother's eyes.

Then she hugged me and said “I love you”.

I said “Mom I don't know what to say”

She said "I knew you were going through something, so tell me about it”

We sat at the table and I told my story, while we ate. After breakfast, dad asked if we wanted to go to Chicago and little India and the hippie Bohemian retail shops.

“Far out” Terri said before I could answer.

We all started laughing then went up stairs and Terri handed me very short shorts and a peasant halter top as I put a clean bra and panty set on. She showed me how the girls at school padded there bra with toilet paper. I put on some strappy sandals then we went down in to the living room. Terri wore my bell-bottom blue jeans and a tie-dye shirt.

Dad said "Groove we are keeping the tradition alive, you look so beautiful my dear daughter."

I said "I love you daddy" and wrapped my arms around his neck gave him a kiss.

When mom saw us she said I looked quite pretty and Terri look handsome as she shook her head and said, "What am I going to do with you two, Sara you are a fashion model from 69 and you Terri are buff and look like a very strong boy”

"Yeah" Terri said "My parents are not happy about it, my secret is I work out at the gym every other day and Sara taught me yoga. My dad thinks I am gay and is very angry”. She giggled and said "I am bi and I am told to get off the fence but I love both and I am staying that way."

Dad said "Far out, well let’s talk some more in the bus (we drive a 71 vw bus) and so we left.

We stopped in Wheaton at the Theosophical society, then on to Chicago. In Chicago I was excited, we went to little India and all the import stores and we found a hippie Bohemian shop called hippie gypsy. In hippie gypsy my mother stocked up on more dresses skirts peasant tops and all kinds accessories for her and me.

When we walked out she noticed the store next door sold breast forms, she could not resist, we went in and the lady showed what she had and my mom and me went in to the changing room.

"These are very nice breast forms Sara! They are the correct size for your build, and they're on sale. Try them on."

I took off my blouse, and slipped a new breast form into each cup of my bra, making the 'b' cup bra look and feel more natural. I wondered why mom and dad were doing this for me, and when I couldn't stand it anymore, I asked mom directly.

There was a long pause before she answered me “I have studied a lot of spirituality and spent time in India and morocco were I met your dad, I follow my heart and my heart is telling me you are a female and need to live as my daughter, Sara. I started crying again and she held me.

Mom and dad took us to the best pizza place ever. Dad told Terri she could have all my boys' clothes and on the way home we raided her room. Mom was a little worried when we hauled out her vanity and all the other stuff but it all fit in the VW bus.

-------------------------------------------------
I posted this on transgender fiction and now here and if I receive positive feed back I will add more. I love Positive e-mail... Hanna