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Life’s Pathways

By Melodie Thomas

Edited by Holly Hart

Chapter 4 – Hello World

Two months after I started working for Storms, Leerner & Green I moved into my two bedroom condominium in a multi-story complex downtown. Seven months later I passed the CPA exam. Those two items, along with work, pretty much dominated my life for my first year out of college but they were now behind me. At my one year anniversary with the company George threw a large office party in celebration of my handing him a copy of my CPA license. Throughout that first year I gained the acceptance of the other employees to the point I was just one of the group.

Though I’d had trouble dealing with Rick Leerner during my interview and for the first few months with the company, I would have to say now he was one of my best friends. We seem to have built up quite a friendship over this time. Rick was my primary study partner while preparing for the CPA exam and we spent many hours either in a conference room at the office or at a local coffee shop working through my weak spots. Rick was also the person that saw to it that I had chances to just unwind. Rick, and sometimes others from work, would all but drag me out on a Friday or Saturday night to some bar or dance club to, as he would say, let my hair down and shake out the stress of the week.

I had learned quite a bit about Rick over the year. Rick was an orphan having been abandoned by his mother when he was just an infant. He grew up in various foster homes but was never adopted. When he turned 18 he got a handshake from welfare services, and told to have a good life. Yes, he was a football player and to hear him tell the story, he was the star receiver for his college team and pretty much had an NFL career in the bag. He was engaged to one of the school cheerleaders who, according to Rick, would have made any playboy centerfold stand up and take notice. In the third game of his senior year he was tackled from the side which blew out his knee. When the doctors put him back together again he was told his football career was over. His engagement to Ms Centerfold ended just as quickly as his NFL career.

At the same time Rick had heard just about everything about me, well, not quite everything. He was the only person on this earth I had told about the Tower Falls trip. On a Friday night, right after the first of the year, Rick, I and a few other guys from the office went out for beer after work. A few beers stretched in to a few whisky shots as the night progressed. The other guys had taken off and Rick and I were shooting pool for a shot per game. When we realized that we could no longer really see the pool table we put the sticks away and wandered back to our table.

Rick turned to me “Tim, I have never seen you without your hair in a ponytail. What do you look like?”

Putting my drink back on the table “Like a guy with long hair. Why?”

“No reason, I just want to see. That’s all”

The bar was really one of those Mom and Pop corner pubs that did not get the big or heavy drinking crowds. It was already approaching midnight, and the bar was only about a quarter full.

“Okay” I slurred. “You buy me another whisky and I will show you”

“Deal.” Rick said as he waved down the cocktail waitress.

When the drinks arrived Rick handed me mine “Okay, your drink”

I accepted the drink and pulled the bands out of my hair. Alcohol does impair one’s judgment, and I was not thinking about what I was doing as I loosened my hair. I shook it out and ran my fingers through it from the underside to fluff it like I do at home. As a result my hair tends frame the sides of my face and roll in gentle piles off of my shoulders.

When done I turned to Rick. “There you go, thanks for the drink”

Rick was looking at me with a strange look on his face. “What?” I asked

“I don’t know how to say this,” Rick stumbled, “but you look like a girl. A very pretty girl”

“Right.” I said rolling my eyes “Now you want to kiss me. You’re drunk.”

“Yes I am.” Rick nodded “And if you were a real girl, yes I would”

“Great” I said sitting up and pulling my hair back behind me “all I need is another hormone overloaded asshole trying to rape my ass”

“What do you mean ‘another’?”

“I already had three muscle bound jerks think they could make this little boy their play toy. I got away from them; I am probably too drunk to outrun you though.” I could feel myself getting angry.

“Take it easy,” Rick said. “There is no one here going to hurt you. Want to tell me about it?”

“Yeah, I thought the other guys were my friends, too”

Whether it was the alcohol or something else I don’t know, but I told Rick all about the time at Tower Falls. I told the story in great detail, and as I did the fear and hurt came back and the tears started flowing down my face. By the time I had finished I had my face buried in my hands, trying to stop the tears, but they just would not stop. Rick stood and walked around to my side of the table and put his hands on my shoulders. I didn’t try to pull away from him

“So, I got away from them, but if you want to take up where they left off, I am pretty sure I can’t stop you.” I said through the tears.

Rick used his fingers to brush the hair off of my neck and straighten it down my back “No one here going to hurt you, my friend,” he said softly “but I think it is time we both headed for home”

I nodded and stood up. Rick kept a hand on my shoulder, more to guild me out the front door. We flagged down a taxi that dropped me off at home then took Rick home. Monday morning work was back to normal and Rick never mentioned any of it again, nor did he ask to see my hair out of the ponytail again.

There was still one side of me that even Rick did not know about, and that was what happened in my own home. I still loved my hair, my makeup and my dresses. Over the past year I had acquired a few things of my own. Through the internet I bought a few dresses and a couple of pairs of shoes. I still felt best when I had my makeup on and my hair combed out. I was not sure if Rick could understand that part, because I still did not understand it myself. I just knew I liked it and it made me feel good. Unlike some of the stories I read on the internet, I did not do this for any kind of sexual thrill. I had no interest in sex, of any kind. When I would get home from work at night the first thing I would do is brush out my hair, put on some makeup and one of my dresses before I started dinner. At home I was pretty much living full time as a woman, just no one knew about it. I was still no closer to understanding myself than I had been in school.

One thing I did know was my hair was getting really long. I had not cut a single hair on my head since the day I’d moved into my apartment at the beginning of college, and right now it was almost to my lower back. I didn’t mind the length so much as I knew the ends were getting pretty split and tattered. I needed to get it trimmed and cleaned up so my hair would be healthier, but I had no idea where to go. I did not want to go to just a plain barber as they would have no idea how to care for long hair, and I did not want to go to a woman’s beauty salon, as that would be too hard to explain. Finally I found a hair styling place about a ten minute walk from my condominium complex that did both men and women’s, so I called and made an appointment for a Saturday afternoon.

The day of my hair appointment I washed and dried my hair and brushed it out. Instead of putting it in my normal ponytail I just put a single loose band around it to hold it back for the walk to the salon.

As I entered the salon the lady at the desk greeted me.

“Hi, how can I help you?” she asked

“I have a 4:00 appointment for a trim” I said with a smile

She got a puzzled look on her face and looked back at her appointment book “Ahhh, I don’t have any appointments at 4:00, except for a guy named Tim”

“That is me. I am Tim Ringston”

“Oh my gawd!” she said as she put her hand to her mouth “I am so sorry. I thought you were a girl when you walked in. I am so sorry”

I smiled at her “That’s Okay, probably the hair threw you off.”

“You have beautiful hair but…. Oh my, I feel so embarrassed”

“No problem.” I assured her again.

“Ahhhh, I think I am going to put you with Lisa.” She turned toward the styling area “Lisa! Customer.”

“Thank you,” I said.

A girl whom I assumed was Lisa was walking toward the counter. She appeared to be a fairly tall girl with long blond hair and was showing of a fair amount of cleavage in a front button up blouse that had the top two buttons undone.

“Hi, I am Lisa,” She introduced herself, holding out her hand.

“Tim,” I said taking her hand.

“Hi Tim, come on back.” She turned and started back towards the corner and I followed her.

There was something about her voice that caught my attention but I could not put a finger on what it was. Following her back to her work area I decided she was about four inches taller than me, and only two of those came from her heels. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans with her white blouse. Lisa motioned me to a chair and as I sat down she lifted my hair from the band so it would fall over the back of the chair.

“You have beautiful hair.”

“Thank you, I am pretty proud of it.” I smiled back in the mirror.

“Looks like we need to do a little end clean up here,” she said while examining the ends of my hair.

“Yes, I think so. I haven’t had it cut in about three years, and I don’t want any more than necessary taken off”

“No problem,” she said as she removed the band and started brushing it. “Do you brush it or comb it?”

“Brush, every night,” I replied. It was surprising, but having her brush my hair was almost hypnotizing, I was answering questions without thinking.

“Good, so what would you like me to do with it today?”

I had my eyes closed and when I opened them she was looking at me in the mirror. “Well,” I paused... I knew what I wanted to ask but didn’t know how.

“Well what?” Lisa quizzed

“I am not sure what to ask for, and it is kind of embarrassing,” I admitted.

“Honey, you are not going to say anything that is going to surprise me, trust me”

“Okay, I would like something that when brushed out looks very feminine, but I can hide in a ponytail,” I said at almost a whisper.

I saw Lisa smile in the mirror “I thought so.” She leaned in close to my ear “You are a ‘T’ or at least a dresser.”

“I am sorry,” I said, starting to get up “I think I made a mistake.”

“Relax!” Lisa pulled my shoulders back into the chair and stepped around front of me. “You are pretty new at this and pretty scared, aren’t you?”

I just nodded my head while looking at my hands.

Lisa put a hand under my chin and gently lifted until I was looking at her. “Do you know what a T-girl is?”

“Sort of,” I responded, “I read about them on the internet.”

Lisa laughed softly “Sweetie, I am one. A t-girl, transsexual, shemale, a chick with a dick, whatever you want to call us. I am one, so I understand.”

I just sat there with my mouth open. “Really?” is all I could get out.

“I am surprised you didn’t notice” she said as she went back behind and continued brushing my hair.

“I didn’t,” I admitted, “I caught something in your voice but that was all.”

“I would trade my voice for yours any day of the week. You have a sweet female voice.”

“Yeah, I have been told by many that I sound like my sisters.” I could feel myself relaxing around Lisa. We had something in common.

“I’ll tell you what, I am going to cut about four inches off the overall length to get rid of the split ends. Then I am going to do a layer cut on the sides that will let it lay out much softer and much more feminine around your face, but will still hide with a ponytail.”

I just nodded my agreement.

“Then, you are my last customer of the day, so when we are done here let’s go across the street and have a cup of coffee and talk for a bit. Okay?”

“Yeah, I think I would like that Lisa, I really do. Thank you”

Lisa just patted my shoulders and smiled, then went to work on my hair. About 45 minutes later I was looking at myself in the mirror in a state of awe. My hair was gorgeous, and looked so feminine the way it was cut and brushed, I just loved it. I let Lisa talk me into leaving it that way to go have coffee, instead of putting it back in a ponytail. She had to work at convincing me, but she got it accomplished. She cleaned up her work area, I paid the bill and we headed across the street.

As we approached the front of the coffee shop I could see my reflection in the window. I was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a polo shirt I had not buttoned. With my hair the way Lisa had cut I could easily pass for a flat chested girl. I could not help but smile.

Inside the coffee shop we took a corner table and sat down opposite each other. This was the first time I was able to get a good look at Lisa’s face, and, now knowing what I was looking for, could see some tell-tale signs of her masculinity. However her makeup was perfectly applied and all of her body movements and language were completely feminine.

“What can I get you ladies?” a waiter said as he approached the table.

I think I blushed a bit at the comment, but Lisa never blinked as she ordered 2 coffees with cream and sugar on the side.

As the waiter left, Lisa turned to me “So how long have you been experimenting?”

“About 3 years I guess, ever since I left home to finish college. It started with a wig and then kind of grew from there” I answered, looking down at my hands. It was an effort to discuss this topic.

“Does anybody know?” Lisa asked

I shook my head no “I think my mom suspects something, but otherwise, no, I kept it completely to myself.”

“That is pretty tough not having anyone to talk to. Do you have a ‘girl’ name that you use?”

The waiter returned to our table with our coffee so I waited until he left. “No, not really. I have been called Tiffany in the past but it was all done maliciously.”

Lisa added a sugar to her coffee “I like the name Tiffany. If I promise never to use it hatefully, can I call you Tiffany?”

“I guess that would be all right” I replied demurely.

“Thanks Tiffany, let me tell you about who I am and where I am from. Then if you feel comfortable enough you can tell me about who you are and what is inside of you. Maybe I can help.”

Lisa was 27 years old and had known since she was a child that she should have been born a girl. Her parents were very conservative and did not tolerate her desires to act more like a girl than a boy growing up. When she was 16 years old she was caught by her mom having oral sex with a boy from school while wearing one of her mom’s dresses. Her mother freaked out and told her dad, who freaked out worse and beat the crap out of her before throwing her out of the house.

To survive living on the streets Lisa had turned to prostitution as a way to feed herself and put herself through cosmetology school. Listening to her, I was stunned by the pain and hardships that she had been through. Nothing in my past would even compare to what this poor girl had to live through. It also made me wonder what my own parents would think if they knew about me.

“So” Lisa continued “after I graduated I was able to start getting real work and saving some money. I got my breast implants two years ago, and I am currently saving to have the surgery that will make me a full woman.”

“My God, Lisa. What you have been through,” I said in a concerned voice. “But you are now out of the prostitution?”

For the first time since I met her, I saw Lisa’s confidence waiver as she lowered her head “No, I still do it. I need the money. I hate it, and I hate being treated that way, but I have to do what I have to do to reach my goals”

I reached across the table with both hands and took Lisa’s hands in mine. I did not know what to say, so I just lightly squeezed both of her hands, hoping she would get the message that I was not holding anything against her. At the same time I was feeling unworthy of any sympathy from her, as my path has been nowhere near as difficult. Lisa looked up at me and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. I squeezed her hands again and her sad look changed into a small smile.

“Okay, girlfriend, your turn”

Lisa had been so open and honest with me that I felt I needed to be the same. I had never told anyone the entire story of my fears and desires, but I told Lisa. I told her about growing up, and what I did with Ron. I told her about Tower Falls and how it made me feel, and I told her about Carol and everything that happened there. I told her how I felt when I was dressed and how I felt when I wasn’t, I told her everything. To be honest, it felt good to be able to get it out, to talk about it, to put it out where someone else could see it and maybe help me understand it.

“So, that is my story,” I concluded. “It sounds kind of silly compared to yours through.”

It was Lisa’s turn to smile and squeeze my hand “All of our stories are different, but they are the same in a way. I can introduce you to a few other girls, and you can hear their stories too if you want. I have been battling the discrimination and closed mindedness of people to reach the dream I have. You are battling the fear in your own mind of who you are and what the dream is. Neither is worse than the other. We are not here to keep score.”

Lisa and I talked for about another hour before she had to leave. She said she still had her other job to go to that night. I felt sad for her. We exchanged phone numbers and hugs as we parted ways.

Over the next few months Lisa and I became much closer, and very good friends. On nights she did not have her ‘other job’ to go to she would stop by my place and we would cook dinner and chat. She helped me select clothes online, and I even did some sewing for her. I was also teaching her to sew and we would go to pattern stores together to pick out material and patterns for each other and then work together making and fitting new dresses, shirts, blouses and even pants. I had someone that I could talk to openly about everything I felt, and the resulting fears and worries. It was like I had a new sister who was my best friend.

I felt, sometimes, like I was living two lives. Tiffany was alive and well, living in a world with Lisa and Tim was alive and well living in the world of work and Rick. At least twice per week Rick and I would take off and do something. We took a weekend once, and went to Vegas, and though there were hangovers involved, it did not turn out like the movie. Rick told me he had not dated anyone seriously since Ms. Centerfold dumped him, but about 6 months ago he’d started seeing a new girl, and I could tell from his attitude and behavior it was getting serious, though I don’t even remember her name right now. He was always telling me about his dates with her and what she was like and I could tell that he was getting in deep. One day Rick stopped by my desk in probably the most disheveled shape I have ever seen him in. His tie was loose; his shirt looked like he had slept in it for two days and he had not shaved in three.

“I need to get a beer and I need someone to talk to,” he said “You free?”

I had already received a text message from Lisa that she was busy that night so I had nothing planned “Yeah, let me log off here.”

We walked down to our favorite corner pub and grabbed a table and ordered a couple of beers. After the beer was delivered I just sat there and waited for Rick.

“We broke up,” Rick stated.

“You mean you and …”

“Yeah, we broke up, shit!” he said as he gulped a large swallow of beer.

“Sorry to hear,” I said as l looked at my bottle, not sure what else to say

Rick looked at me “Do they make women out there that are beautiful and have intelligence too?”

“Yeah, they do. I know of a couple,” I said quietly, wondering where this was going.

Rick sighed “I sure would like to meet one.” He paused for a moment, “All she ever wanted to do was talk about people, how stupid people were or how they did stupid things. Even people we did not know, just gossip, gossip, gossip. I tried to hold conversations on some things with a little more substance, like the economy, the up and coming elections,… You know, things like you and I talk about, but noooo, we have to talk about how silly the girl in the office’s blouse was, or how stupid this person’s hair style was. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

I knew Rick needed to vent so I just sat there and let him vent. I was concerned that he was going through his beer too fast. I was still on my first when he ordered his fourth, and I just let him go on. After about an hour he started run out of steam and was just sitting there looking at his beer. We just sat in silence for a few minutes.

Rick looked up at me “Please don’t take this wrong, but God I wish you were a girl”

I can now tell you, from first-hand experience, that beer does not taste good when it is coming out of your nose. Rick happened to make that statement just as I was taking a swallow, and the gasp that I made turned into a mess. I was trying to swallow what was in my mouth, while grabbing napkins for the part that had left. Again I think fate had intervened at a very opportune moment, as my sudden mishap got Rick to laughing as he tried to help me with the napkins.

“Man” I exclaimed, “you should not do that to a person,” as I was wiping up the mess.

“Sorry, sorry.” Rick was still laughing “I guess that would have made me act the same way”

The mood had lightened greatly with the ‘beer blowing’ event, and we never got back to the topic. I pointed out to Rick that this was a work night, and we could not get too carried away so I suggested he go home and get some rest. He reluctantly agreed and we finished up. The part that he would never know, was the moment he made his very surprising statement, the first thought that raced through my mind was ‘I wish I were too’. The part that worried me the most about that revelation was that if I had not had my mouth full of beer, I may have said it out loud.

A few weeks later I got a call from Lisa with the announcement that we were going clubbing that Friday night. I had never been outside of my house ‘dressed’ and this was not something I was willing to change. We argued about that for about 15 minutes on the phone and, as usual, Lisa convinced me that I needed to grow beyond where I was. Rick had also hit me up to go out on Friday night, but I told him I had other plans. He asked me if I had a date and I said “Something like that.” It bothered me that he did not look very happy about that.

Lisa arrived at my place at 6pm carrying a box of something. Opening the box she pulled out 2 cloth bags. In each bag was a silicon breast form like the ones I had seen on the internet. Lisa explained that these were the ones she had used before she got her implants, and since she was not using them there was no reason I shouldn’t. I had never seen myself with breasts and had never even worn a bra when I was dressed, so this was kind of exciting to me.

Lisa had also brought some adhesive so they could be glued in place. She had me lie down on the sofa as she cleaned and de-oiled my skin before she carefully applied the breast forms. After a few minutes I could sit up and the feeling was amazing. She had also brought a bra that she wanted me to wear, since I did not own any, and she helped me put it on. Next came out a makeup kit and she showed me how to use various foundations to hide the seams of the breast forms so I did not have to cover them completely with clothes and could create cleavage.

I was nervous as hell about going out for the night, but the getting dressed was a great amount of fun. I chose, with Lisa’s help, my black evening dress with 4” black pumps. With the bra on, the swoop neck of the dress showed a pretty good amount of cleavage. Lisa also let me borrow a gold necklace and a pair of clip-on dangling earrings. When I finished my hair, makeup and got dressed, the view in the mirror was incredible. At that specific moment in time there was no doubt in my mind that ‘this’ was the person I wanted to be.

As I was standing there admiring myself, Lisa came into the room.

“Tiffany,” Lisa said, “you are stunning”

“You think so?” I asked

“Damn, girl.” Lisa’s voice had a touch of sadness in it. “You are more feminine than half the real girls out there. I wish I could look half as good as you do, and I love the look and the lipstick”

I had stepped up the makeup tonight for a more erotic look, and switched to my burnt orange lipstick. I walked over to Lisa and put my arms around her for a hug “Girlfriend,” I started, “I owe everything to you.”

“Maybe …” as she hugged me back. “But what you have is natural. The rest of us just try to mimic it. I am jealous and happy at the same time.”

“I am still terrified,” I said.

“You will be fine, trust me. Now grab your purse and let’s go”

Walking out the front door of my apartment was like walking into an execution chamber. This was the first time the world was going to see Tiffany, and I wanted to make sure they just saw Tiffany and not Tim. I am surprised I could walk in my heels, as I felt like my legs were going shake right out of them. My prayers were answered, as the elevator was empty, but the front lobby was anything but empty. As the elevator doors opened Lisa must have felt my tenseness as she gently squeezed my arm and smiled. I took a deep breath and followed her advice, kept my head up, shoulders back and smile on my face. As we walked through the lobby I could feel a dozen sets of eyes on me. I heard conversations stop as we walked by and I knew we were being watched all the way out the door. In my mind I knew half of the guys I had just walked past were mentally undressing me, and that thought brought a bigger smile to my face. Being an object of desire was fun. I was as giddy as a school girl when we got in the taxi.

As usual, Lisa was right. I had a blast that night. We went to a gay club across town from where I lived. Lisa termed it more of a TG friendly club than a gay club, but it was pretty obvious to me when we got inside. I met three other T-girls who were friends of Lisa’s and I got compliments on my looks all night long. I must have danced with a dozen guys, and found dancing in high heels would take some getting used to. I even kissed my first guy that night. Here again, alcohol was definitely involved. The rest of the girls had come to the conclusion that Tiffany had never been kissed, and I was well over 16, so they took it as their mission to fix that little oversight.

A dance completion was staged, with all the guys interested, and the winner, by popular vote, was selected to be my first kiss. The kiss did not reach the level as my first kiss with Carol, but the guy did try, and we received plenty of whoops from the crowd. I also received 3 propositions to go home with someone for the night, none of which I accepted.

I didn’t really realize it until I got home that night, but I was not Tim, a guy in a dress in that bar. I was Tiffany, a girl out with her friends.

Over the next few months my outings with Lisa as Tiffany became almost as frequent as my outings with Rick as Tim. The lines between Tim and Tiffany were becoming very blurred and many times, when out with Rick; I would catch myself just before I told a story of something that had happened when I was out as Tiffany. I really had to watch how much I drank when with Rick.

Lisa could almost convince me of anything and she did convince me to get my ears pierced. I had a couple small diamond studs that I wore to work, and I received a lot of ribbing because everyone thought I was sucking up to George as he was the only other guy in the office with pierced ears.

I was really having a hard time reading Rick lately. Sometimes when we were in a group meeting at work or out for drinks or dinner I would catch him just looking at me. No real expression on his face, just watching me. As soon as I spotted him it would stop, but sometimes he would hold my gaze. There was something going on behind those blue eyes but I had no idea what. I asked him a couple of times and he always responded that it was nothing, just daydreaming. Sometimes he acted like the same old good friend that I have known for just over 2 years and sometimes he acted aloof and separate. I just didn’t know how to read him, but all of that was about to change.

One Sunday in late summer, Lisa and I had decided we were going to have a girl party at my place that evening. Nothing wild, just a snack and chat gathering. I had been out with Rick the night before, bar hopping so I was moving a little slow when I got up that day. I was really excited about the party that night, and as soon as I got out of the shower I did my hair, makeup and put on my breast forms. I had gotten pretty good with the breast forms and really like wearing them. Once they went on it was like I had flipped a mental switch and I became Tiffany. I put on a light yellow summer dress that I had made. The dress had a shallow V at the neck, and did not show off much cleavage, so I did not worry about hiding the breast forms. After getting dressed and passing the self-inspection I headed for the kitchen to get my dishes ready.

As soon as I entered the kitchen I realized that I had put the cart before the horse, and I had planned to go the store, as I needed a few things. I stood there and debated with myself for a few minutes but soon realized there was no way I was going to take everything off to go to the store. I had been out as Tiffany quite a few times, but never during the day. I checked myself in the mirror again and realized that unless I made a fool of myself no one would know. Pumping up my courage, I slipped on a pair of 3” sandals, grabbed my purse and headed out.

Getting in and out of the grocery store was not a problem. No one ever gave me a second look. Once I put my groceries in the car I saw the fabric store that was just down the block. There was a pattern there I wanted, and since I was there why not? Having such an easy time in store bolstered my courage and I set off. I had to walk past a coffee shop and a hardware store to get to the fabric shop, but it only took a few minutes and I was on my way home.

The party that night was a lot of fun. We had great laughs and conversations, sharing stories and tips. Lisa had brought one of my kitchen chairs into the living room and was sitting on it, brushing her hair, when I walked back in from the kitchen. I walked up behind her and took her brush and continued brushing her hair for her.

“Hmm, that feels good, thanks,” Lisa said

“You’re welcome” I responded “I have been meaning to ask. Your hair is so much softer and finer than mine. Why is that?”

Linda, one of the other girls there answered “Probably the Diane’s”

“Diane’s?” I asked

“Hormones” Lisa answered “We buy them by mail from Thailand. They are much cheaper, and we don’t need a prescription”

“You should try them, Tiffany,” Linda offered. “They would do wonders for your hair, not that your hair needs that much help.”

I smiled “Thanks, but what do they do?”

“They are female hormones,” Lisa said. “They help replace the male hormones in your body and let your body become more feminine. Things like softer skin, softer hair, less hair growth in some other places, more like a woman would be.”

“Do they make you grow boobs?” I asked with a smile

Linda smiled with me “The medical papers say they do, but both Lisa and I took them for over a year before we had our breast implants and they did not seem to affect either one of us. I think the dosage that we buy is too low but they sure help your skin and your hair.”

“You should try them Tiff,” Lisa said. “I think you would like the effect on your hair.”

“Where do I get them?”

“From me” Linda said “I order them in bulk, and then the other girls buy them from me. Makes it easier that way. I have some with me if you are interested. A six month supply is about $100.”

“That is not bad,” I said.

“You should try them Tiff, you really should,” Lisa coaxed.

“Okay, I will try,” I said, looking at Linda “Do you have 6 months with you?”

“Yes I do,” she replied

Since I had to work the next morning, the party broke up about 9pm and the girls helped me clean up and said their good nights. I loved being with the girls. They were the only group of people that I knew that I did not have to pretend to be around. I could be the real me and just relax. Even with Rick, as much as I liked him, I had to pretend. There were parts of me that I had to hide, but not with Lisa and Linda and the others. However, the decisions that I made and the path I would follow after this night would cost me my dignity, my respect, and nearly my life.

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