Life’s Pathways

By Melodie Thomas

Edited by Holly Hart

Chapter 3 -- A Bend in the Road

Setting up my own apartment was fun, though a bit over whelming in the beginning. I was pretty amazed at the number of things that mom had always taken care of and I just took for granted. I mean, who remembers to add toilet paper to a grocery shopping list? Making the decisions of how things were organized and where things go was basically making the place mine. Doing my own menu planning, grocery shopping and selecting my own household supplies just added to the overall fun, I felt very independent and grown up, even if it did mean multiple trips to the store for the things I forgot. I did not have a lot of disposable money, but already had some plans for things I needed just to decorate the place. The complex manager told me that as long as I was not knocking down walls that I was free to decorate as I wanted, just remember I had to repair anything that was damaged. The apartment was very utilitarian in furnishings, but I figured over time I could add to it, maybe some new window coverings, silk flowers here and there, stuff that just made if feel like home.

As I was unpacking some of the boxes, the ones that Mom packed, I was totally surprised to find a box that held all of my old dolls and stuffed animals. Mom had put a note in the box that said she thought I might want these to decorate my place. Why she thought that I wanted them I am not sure, I had put them away years before and had not seen them in a long time. I pushed the box aside, figuring I would store it somewhere and continued putting my apartment together. Over the next few weeks I kept going back to the box and pulling one thing or another out of it just to look at it. Nothing I pulled out of the box ever went back in, and within a month the box was empty and everything in it had been cleaned up and displayed in some part of my bedroom. It made me feel good to look at them and no one was ever going to be in this room but me, so why not.

Within the first couple of days of being in my new apartment I went through my first round of rebel freedom. I had just finished my shower and was standing in front of the mirror combing my hair. When I noticed my hair was getting long enough that it just touched the top of my ears, and the thought went through my mind that I needed find a barber here. I no more than finished that thought when another thought stole its way into my mind.

I stood there staring at myself in the mirror and a smile started forming on my face. I actually spoke out loud to the mirror.

“Sorry Dad, my house, ‘my rules and my rules’ and my rules say no more haircuts”. The feeling of freedom was a wonderful thing.

Wednesday night I showed up for work and met Ed. Ed was a 65+ year old widowed grandfather who had long since retired, and was just bored at home so he found a new job to keep himself busy. He was friendly enough, but not very talkative beyond getting me started on the checklist of chores that my job entailed. After my first two nights with Ed I never saw him again. We would exchange notes if something was broken or needed attention, but we never worked together again. Friday night was my first night on my own, and as with any job, regardless of how simple it is, it takes some time to get a system in place and I was stumbling the first couple of nights trying to figure out everything that needed to be done, where were the supplies, how was I supposed to do this thing etc.. I got it all done, but it took most of the night. As the next few weeks passed I started developing my own way of doing things and the check list went faster and faster. By the end of my third week I was able to easily finish all of the chores in 8 hours, sometimes less.

School started after my second week on the job and the Monday morning classes were really no problem. After getting off of work I drove to the University and had time for a cup of coffee before classes started. By the time I was done a little before noon, I could feel the effects of the night before, but getting through the classes was not an issue.

I did develop my own sleep patterns though. Since I was pretty tired by noon on Monday I would usually get some lunch and head for home, end up going to sleep around 3 or 4 in the afternoon and sleep until 2 or 3 in the morning. I was able to study, do homework and projects for three or four hours before classes started, and this pattern made it pretty easy for me to get back into the work swing on Friday night. Since the only expectations that I had were to make the classes and go to work, no one should be bothered by my sleeping habits.

The department store I worked in was one of the big box variety that sold everything from household goods to sporting goods and everything in between. There were men’s, women’s and children’s clothing as well as paint, hardware and automotive sections. The second chore that I had to do each night was sweep the entire store with one of those 36” dust mop type brooms and that meant I had to walk up and down every aisle in the store at least twice.

There was one section of the store that had caught my attention even the very first night that I worked with Ed and had held my attention every night since. Over by the women’s clothing area was a makeup and beauty station that was used for makeup and wig demonstrations. Sitting on the shelves, behind the counter, were about a dozen wigs of different color and styles. The one that caught my attention was a long Strawberry Blond wig that was almost my hair color.

This wig had a hair length of about 14 inches from the crown, and the hair fell in very gentle waves that reminded me a lot of April’s hair. When I started working alone I stopped and looked at it each time that I passed. I just loved the way it looked. A few times I went behind the counter and touched it just to feel the silky feeling in my fingers. The color was very close to mine, maybe just a little redder, but not much. Finally the night came when temptation was just too strong for me and I had to find out.

As usual I had stopped sweeping to look at the wig as I went by. I decided I wanted to feel it, so I leaned my broom against the counter and went behind and ran my fingers through the hair. As I stood there looking, I had the same over whelming desire to see what I looked like with hair like that. That was the kind of hair I’d always wanted and dreamed about. I carefully lifted the wig off of the foam head and moved in front of the mirror. My heart was racing slightly as I put the wig behind my head and pulled the skull cap over the top until I felt it snug to my head.

Looking in the mirror almost took my breath away. I loved the way it looked. It was messy and needed combing but I loved it. The hair that was falling off of my shoulders and down my back just felt like it belonged there. I searched in one of the open drawers and found a brush with which I carefully brushed out the full length until the wig was smooth, shiny and hung perfectly. My heart was racing but I don’t know if that was because I was nervous or because I felt like I’d just found someone that had been missing. I hated taking it off, but I needed to get back to work so I grudgingly took the wig off and gently put it back on the foam head. I knew instantly that my rebel ‘no haircut’ threat was far more than a threat.

As the weeks passed, my nerve, need or comfort, maybe all three, grew and I started putting the wig on every night. I started by just wearing it a few minutes then migrated to wearing it while I swept for a while and then to wearing it almost all night. Probably not the most hygienic thing I did, but I loved the feel of it and I loved the look of it. I smiled each time I passed a mirror, as it was like I was seeing someone I had missed and just found looking back at me. I even tried to figure out how I could buy one, but the price seemed too much for my limited budget, and I was not sure how I would have explained it anyway, but I loved having on. I would just have to settle with seeing what my own hair looked like as it grew.

The end of the semester was coming on quickly and Mom was bugging me about my plans for the holiday season. I had not make it home for Thanksgiving since I had to work on Friday night, and I was not going to try to drive all the way to the folk’s and then back home on Friday and still try to make it to work. Christmas this year was on Wednesday, so I told Mom I would come down to their place on Christmas Eve but I would need to head home no later than Thursday afternoon. I was not allowed to use my growing vacation time until I had been with the store for at least 6 months and this was the best I could do this year. Mom was not overly happy about those plans, but said she understood that I had my own responsibilities too.

Finals week came and went, and my first semester at State University was in the books. When grades were issued I finished the semester with straight A’s which shows that when all one does is work and study you can accomplish anything. I was pretty much isolated from the rest of the school throughout the semester due to my work and sleeping habits. Oh, I had met a few people at school that I had coffee or lunch with once in a while, but no one that I would call a real friend. Other people just did not fit into my schedule right now and I felt pretty comfortable with my isolation.

Christmas time came, and as I drove back to Mom and Dad’s place I was mentally preparing myself for the argument and debate that I knew was coming. I had not seen my parents since I left for school in August, and being true to my word to myself; I had not had a haircut since I’d left. My hair was now about a half inch below my ears, and when combed straight down would completely cover my ears. Most of the time I still combed it back behind the ear, but I knew my dad was going to have a fit when he saw it.

Building my bravado during the drive was easy, I was 20 years old and on my own, I could do what I wanted. However, that bravado collapsed pretty quickly as I pulled into their drive and I was back to being a scared little boy. Again, much to my dad’s credit, he made it pretty clear he was not happy with my choices, but he also stated I was my own man now and free to do as I wanted. He just hoped I would remember the lessons he had tried to teach me when it was time to face the real world. Even though I knew he was trying to support me, I still felt like I’d let him down a little.

With the holidays behind me and the New Year celebrated with a sparkler from my balcony, I was back to school and work as my primary life. Each night at work, as soon as everyone left and the doors were locked, I would stop whatever I was doing and go get ‘my’ wig and put it on. For some reason that I could not explain, I just felt better wearing it, and almost naked when I didn’t have it. One night I had just finished my lunch and my studies were caught up and I still had a couple of hours to kill. I wandered around the store just looking at things when I found myself sitting at the makeup example table looking through the books displayed there. I loved looking at the before and after pictures, and how through the use of makeup, a face could be transformed into someone completely different.

I loved studying the colors and shapes, and the way that everything was brought together to create different looks and feels using the same face. While sitting there I looked up at my own reflection in the mirror. The long reddish blond hair framing my face and piling gently on my shoulders before spilling off the front and back made me wonder what makeup could do for me. As I sat there looking at the pictures and then looking at my face, then back to the pictures I felt a growing desire to see how it looked. I loved the hair. How would the makeup help bring it out?

The next night at work I was going to try out the makeup, but I really had no idea what to do or how to do it. I had watched my sisters, and I had watched Carol, but I had never done it myself. In one of the books I had read the basic steps to applying makeup and it did not seem that complicated. Start with the foundation, then do the eyes, follow with some blush as needed and finish off with the lips. Laying out a couple of pictures that I liked, I got started. I was working with a small mirror that was mounted on the table, so I could only see the part of my face I was working on at the time. I followed the steps and instructions that I’d read in the books a closely as I could. The whole process took longer than I thought, and about 45 min after I started I applied a coat of lipstick and blotted as the instructions called for.

Once done, I walked around the counter to the big mirror that allowed me to see the completed product. I have never laughed so hard in my life. All I needed to do was change my wig to a big red fuzzy one and put a big red nose on and I think Barnum and Bailey would have given me job. There was absolutely no resemblance between my face and the picture in the book, or any picture I had seen anywhere, for that matter. I laughed all the way to the bathroom where I washed my face and continued on with my night.

My first failure with putting on makeup was more of an inspiration than a deterrent for me. I was not so much driven by wanting to know what I looked like; more by there was something I could not do. Girls put on makeup all the time, so if they could do it, I could do it. I could pretty much do anything else a girl could do, including sewing, decorating and fashion selection, I was damn sure going to be able to do the makeup thing too.

It became a challenge. Over the next few months I practiced almost every night at work. Sometimes I only had time for a little bit, like trying different lipsticks and using lip liners, and other nights I could dive into the whole process. Work came first on the priority list, then school, followed my practicing with the makeup.

By the time winter semester was coming to an end, not only was I able to apply my makeup to match the pictures in the book but I understood how to modify it for different looks, from casual to exotic, using the same colors and techniques. I figured out which colors looked best on me and how much of them to use. I figured out how to match my skin color with the foundation, and where I needed more foundation vs. less. Though I had never noticed it before, I realized that my eye lashes were naturally pretty long, and with the addition of mascara I could make them look like the girls in the books. Of all the problems I had dealt with as a teenager, acne had not been one of them, I had very smooth skin, and since I only needed to really shave my one or two hairs once per week, I didn’t have anything to hide.

The part that made me the most nervous was the emotional side of me, I loved the makeup. I loved the way it made me look and the way it made me feel. If seeing myself in a wig reminded me of someone I had lost, then wearing the makeup with the wig brought that feeling home with a vengeance. I truly loved the person I saw in the mirror, while the person I saw without the wig and makeup reminded me of someone that was devoid, sad and confused. I didn’t want to see that person; I wanted to see the happy person. I even started missing the makeup during my days off, as I only got to wear it 3 nights per week. These feelings added to my overall confusion about who I was, but I knew what made me feel good and I saw no reason not to enjoy it while I could.

One day, right after school let out in the spring, I was in the grocery store getting my needed items for the week ahead. As I moved up and down the aisles I saw the cosmetic section ahead of me. Trying to act like there was nothing there of interest to me, I walked to the lipstick section and glanced at the colors. I knew the ones that I had been using at work, and was just curious if I could find them here. With little effort at all, I found them right in front of me. The internal debate raged for about 30 seconds before my hand reached out and grabbed two tubes and dropped them in my basket. Like it had a mind of its own, my hand also grabbed a tube of mascara as I was turning to leave the area.

Going through the checkout line, I felt like I had just robbed the store and was trying to walk out undetected. No, I was not stealing anything, but having the checker pull the 2 lipsticks and a mascara from my basket all but petrified me. While waiting, I tried to come up with some story, buying for my girlfriend, buying for my mother, all of it sounded pretty lame, but I was trying. When I finally reached the counter the clerk just rang up everything in my basket, including the cosmetics without even lifting an eye. Everything went in a couple of plastic bags; I paid and headed for the door, maybe a little too quickly. Once I reached my car my hands were actually shaking but I was excited to get home and play with my new things.

For someone as computer savvy as I was and how far technology had reached in the early 2000s, it was incredible how naive I was. When I was growing up my computer usage and internet usage was monitored very closely by my parents. Even when I was in college and living with them, I did not get adventuresome in my internet explorations. Now, living on my own, I was free to do as I wished and one morning after school was out I was sitting with my laptop pondering myself and my life. I decided to see if I could find anything on the web that could help me with my exploration. Not having a clue what to search for I entered the words ‘boys wearing makeup’ into a search engine without realizing that my life would never be same.

The results of that one simple search led me places that I never knew existed. I read about people called shemales, ladyboys, transvestites, cross dressers and transsexuals. I saw pictures, video clips and stories of people that dressed and acted like the opposite sex. The amount of pornography that I found was unbelievable, but I was looking for information, not sex.

I found places that people talked about their experiences and growing up transgendered, I also read about the violence, discrimination and hatefulness that surrounded these people. I found some good science articles and papers on the subject, about how some people felt they were born in the wrong body and how they used surgery to correct the mistakes. Some of what I read made sense to me, some did not, but what I did learn was there seemed to be a lot of people that had questions, like me. None of it really helped answer my questions, but it did make me feel like I was not totally alone with the questions.

The one thing the computer articles did do for me was that I started thinking about the clothes. While at work one night, I had finished my makeup and was looking at myself in the mirror and realized that the long hair and perfect makeup did not match too well with blue jeans and a tee shirt. I so much liked what I saw with the hair and makeup I wondered what I could do about the clothes.
I spent some time walking through the women’s clothing section, looking at various dresses, but I could not bring myself to try any of them on. It did not seem right, felt like I was stealing from the store. Since I had discovered how easy it was to buy makeup at the grocery store, I had even stopped using the example counter, and brought my own from home. Finally I decided that other people try these on before they buy, so it would not hurt if I did just once.

I selected a nice yellow and white casual dress that was in my size and headed back to the dressing room. When I emerged and stood in front of the mirror I was simply amazed at how good I looked. No, I did not have all the padding in all the right places, but the dress fit well and felt good on me. I didn’t even think about it as I walked over to the shoe department and picked a pair of white, 3” open toe pumps that fit me and walked back over to the mirror. I am not going to just say I loved it as I wore both the rest of the night, but it took every ounce of determination that I had to take them off again within 30 minutes of the day shift managers coming in.

As summer started drawing to a close and school was only a few weeks away, I got an email from my mom that she and Dad were going to stop by and see me for a few days since I had not been able to make it home during the summer. I was excited to see them, but also knew a certain part of my life style would need to change for a few days. I had developed the habit of wearing my lipstick, and sometime all my makeup, when I was around my apartment. The day before they arrived I went through the apartment and packed up all my makeup in the travel bags I had for that purpose and stored them under the bathroom sink. I would have to do without for a few days.

Mom and Dad’s visit went well and I had a good time talking to them. I had been in myself induced exile for a little over a year and it was actually nice to have someone to spend time with. My dad did give me a hard time again about my hair, which by now had grown 6 inches and was just reaching the top of my shoulders but otherwise we went to dinner, toured the campus and I showed them where I worked.

On the day Mom and Dad were heading back home they stopped by my apartment in the late morning coffee and to say their goodbyes.

“So, sweetie” Mom started “do you have a new girlfriend here?”

“No, Mom, I don’t”

That answer seemed to shock her a little “Really?”

“No, with school and work I just don’t have time to get out.” I answered

“Hmmm” she paused for a moment with a puzzled look “Maybe you are working too hard for someone your age.”

“Only one more year to go, Mom, and I will graduate and things will be better.” I smiled at her.

“Okay, dear, well you call me if you need someone to talk to.” Mom said with smile.

With that the goodbyes were said and Mom and Dad started their drive home. As soon as they were gone I went to the bathroom to pull my makeup cases back out, as I had been looking forward to it since I got up this morning. When I pulled them out from under the sink I was surprised to see they were both unzipped. I was positive that I had zipped them up before putting them under there.

My senior year seemed to just fly by. School was probably the busiest I had been, and work was a constant. Even though I had the opportunity to sample wearing a dress, and wanted to again, the money, time and schedule made my chances very slim. I did not get to spend Christmas with the family this year, as Mom and Dad decided they were going to fly to John and Mary’s and spend Christmas with their two grandchildren. April and her husband and decided they were going to Australia for Christmas and New Year, so I just stayed at school and worked.

Soon, graduation was only 6 weeks away, and it was time for me to start exploring the Job market.

I had spent a fair amount of time working on my resume over the winter and collecting letters of recommendation from my past employers. Of course my dad was giving me all kinds of tips on how I needed to approach the job market and the first was to get a haircut. My hair was now about 9 to 10 inches past the top of my ear now and except when I was at work or home I wore it in a tight ponytail as I had seen other guys do with 3 or 4 bands holding it. At work and at home I kept it brushed out and even had experimented with creating some waviness in it with a blow dryer and large styling brush. I had stopped wearing the wig shortly after Christmas when I realized I could create a decent look with my own hair that could be hidden again when I went to school.

Every spring the University sponsors a job fair on campus and many companies either send representative to the campus to talk to graduates or they post the positions they have available so resumes can be mailed to them. I submitted my resume to all of the onsite accounting firms, and mailed off to about 6 others. The day of the onsite job fair, I dressed in the new suit and tie that I had purchased the weekend before, made sure my hair was in a nice tail and headed down to the campus. Seven different companies had invited me to visit their booth based on my resume as, depending on how this last semester ended, I would finish with a 3.98 GPA. I only missed straight A’s by 1 class. Architectural History and I just did not get along.

At the job fair, each candidate had to sign in at the main desk and was assigned a number based on the order of their sign in. After signing in, we had to sit in a bunch of metal folding chairs and wait for our number to appear on a sign board over a given booth. I was noticing, as other cycled through the process, that the average interview was taking 15 to 20 minutes and since I had seven of them to do I would be here a couple of hours. When my number final appeared over the first booth, I walked over to the chair in front of it as the man behind the desk looked up at me.

He looked at me for a good 30 seconds before looking back at my resume and the first thing he said to me was “Sorry Son, but I don’t think we have anything that will fit your qualifications”

He shook my hand and I was back in the metal folding chair in less than 2 minutes. The guy that went to that booth right after me was there for almost 25 minutes. That first interview was pretty much a sign of how things would go the rest of the day. Though some of the companies would take a little time to talk to me, it was pretty clear there was something about me they did not like. Though none of them told me ‘No’ like the first guy had they all left me with the impression I was going to get the “we appreciate your taking time to talk to us, but…” letter from them. I told myself at the time it was my hair like my dad had warned me about but to this day I don’t know for sure.

About a week after the job fair on campus I got a phone call, that woke me up, from a guy named Rick Leerner who was representing the firm of Storms, Leerner and Green, one of the companies that I sent a resume to. He could tell right away that I had just woke up. When I explained to him I worked nights, he apologized profusely. We talked for a few minutes about my school and my work and then he asked me if I would like to come out and visit their office. After telling him I would, he told me that he would have his secretary get in contact with me in the next hour or so to make travel arrangements.

I was wide awake by now and waited anxiously for the return call. When the call came in I was greeted by a lady named Patty Welch. who was Mr. Leerner’s administrative assistant, and we worked out arrangements for me to fly out the next Thursday, interview on Friday and for now, we would leave my return flight open in case I wanted an extra day in town.

When the call ended I was all but bouncing off of the walls. Not only did I have an out of town interview but this would be the first time I had ever been on an airplane, and they were flying me first class on top of that. I called Debbie at the department store right away to arrange to take next week as vacation; I had accrued 3 weeks since I had started working there and had used none of it. She put the time in the system for me right away and congratulated me on the interview.

The next Wednesday afternoon, I was sitting in my apartment after packing my suitcase, for the third time, worrying myself to death. The raging debate of course, was my hair, and if I should get a haircut. I looked at myself in a mirror and I just loved my hair and cutting it would rank right up there with breaking up with Carol, whom I still missed terribly.

One minute I was ready to go get a haircut and the next minute I would talk myself out of it. Finally, the realization settled on me that even though I had no idea who I was, I was who I was and people will like me for who I was or they wouldn’t. I can’t say I was completely comfortable with who I was or who I was becoming but I needed to try to be true to myself and not put an image up for others. Trying to protect that image had already cost me the one girl that I loved, and I didn’t want it to cost me more.

The flight was fun. I had a window seat in first class and they gave me a free glass of champagne, which I had to take just because. People were boarding the plane and working their way back to coach looking at me like ‘who is this important guy that gets to sit up here’? Not knowing I was just your everyday broke college student that was having a blast. Once I got off of the plane and collected my luggage I found the hotel shuttle that took me to the Grand Hyatt and checking into a room that I just could not believe. I had never seen such a place as this and there was a full bottle of champagne on ice with a note that said compliments of Storms, Leerner and Green. I looked at it a long time but decided I would save it until after the interviews.

The next morning I was up early and carefully dressed and groomed. The nervousness about my hair was still there, but it was too late to do anything about it now. I went down to the Concierge desk at 8:30, as Patty had instructed and found the car that was to take me to the office was already waiting. The car delivered me to a bank of elevators in the basement of what appeared to be a 20 story building and I already knew I was heading for the 17th floor. The elevator opened directly into a lobby that faced a large curved counter with two receptionist sitting behind it, and a large sign over their heads that said ‘Storms, Leerner & Green – Accountants and Financial Planners”. As I stepped off of the elevator both receptionist looked up at me.

“Mr. Ringston?” one asked.

“Yes” I responded

The blond stood up and came around the counter with a clipboard and held her hand out “Welcome to Storms, Leerner and Green,” she said as she took my hand “I am Kathy”

“Hi Kathy” I said as I took her hand.

“If you will follow me we have some paperwork we need you to fill out to start with”

Kathy led me to a small conference room off of the main lobby and handed me the clipboard with the request to fill out the papers and return them to her when I was done. It took me about 20 minutes to get through all of the forms and return them to her. I was asked to wait in the conference room for just a few minutes and told someone would be right with me.

About 5 minutes later a striking blond lady in her mid 30’s entered the conference room. She was about my height even with 3” black patient heels, wearing a gray skirt that reach just to her knees and light satin or silk blouse that ‘almost’ concealed the pattern in her bra. I also noticed she had a huge diamond ring on her left hand.

“Hi, I am Kathy Green” she introduced herself.

“Two Kathys?” I responded as I stood.

“Yes” she smiled “It does get a little confusing at times”.

I introduced myself and she had me follow her back through the lobby and through a set of doors into an interoffice area. The office area was made up of partitioned cubes using blue fabric temporary walls that were about 5 feet high. I was led through the cubical area, into an office that had one wall of windows looking out over the city. The desk was quite large and looked to be made of very expensive wood with a high back leather chair. The office also contained a smaller conference table with smaller leather chairs. The office was pretty utilitarian, but I did see one picture behind her desk with her, a guy and 3 blond kids. If I were to guess, I would say she is married with 3 kids.

“How was your trip?” Kathy asked as she motioned me to a chair while she grabbed some papers off of her desk.

“Quite good” I responded “First class tickets and a 5 star hotel was a lot more than I expected”

Kathy laughed as she took a seat at the conference table across from me. “Yeah, George does have a way of going over the top some times.”

“George?” I asked

“George Storms, our senior partner. You will meet him soon”

We continued some idle chit chat about my family and my school for about 5 minutes. Then Kathy pulled the pile of papers in front of her and said she had a few questions for me. For the next hour I was grilled on the topics of Tax Law, Accounting Principles, Accounting Ethics and Basic accounting knowledge. I did the best that I could, but I could not answer all of her questions. By the time we were finished I was starting to get a headache. Kathy stacked the papers aside and leaned back in her chair looking at me.

“Any questions for me Tim?”

“Just one, how did I do?” I asked a little sheepishly.

Kathy laughed “Not bad, actually pretty good.”

I guess the puzzled look on my face prompted her to continue “You were not supposed to be able to answer all of those questions but I wanted to see if you had the courage to say ‘I don’t know’ or try to bluff your way through. You did well; you answered what you could and told me when you didn’t know.”

I let out a sigh of relief “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” I continued

Kathy cocked her head with a puzzled look “That depends, you can ask it, then I will tell you if I will answer it.”

I nodded my head toward the picture of her family “Do you get enough time to spend with your family?”

I could tell the question startled her “Do you mind if I ask why you are asking?”

“Well, it is something my dad taught me. He always said work is important but family is more important. If you find a boss that thinks family comes second, that is not someone you want to work for,” I told her.

Kathy’s smile grew quite large “That is a very insightful question and I have never heard it before. I work, on the average, 50 hours per week. My family is my number one priority”

“Thank you” I responded.

Kathy stood up and shook hands with me then led me out in the office area to a chair next to the wall by a secretary. She told me to wait here for a moment and someone would come get me. I sat there thinking about the interview, and hoped I hadn’t blown it with my last question. Maybe it had been a little over the top, but it was the way I was raised and I wanted to work for someone that felt the same.

I caught a movement across the office area and saw a guy walking through the cubicles headed my way. This guy was a walking mountain, at least 6’ 2” or 6’ 3”, shoulders wide enough to park a car on and though I could not tell through his suit jacket I was sure he had washboard abs. He had jet black hair that was styled just like my dad’s. The thing I did notice though was he was taking a moment to greet everyone that he passed on his way through the cubical area. I stood up as he approached me.

“Tim” he said as he extended his hand with a large smile “Rick Leerner”

That hand was over twice the size of mine and I expected to hear bones snapping in my hand as soon as they touched. I was extremely surprised that his grip was firm but soft, almost gentle. Rick had me follow him back across the office area to his office and I felt so dwarfed walking next to him and immediately pegged him as a football player. My suspicions were confirmed as soon as he ushered me into his office. There was a trophy rack, 3 footballs, a helmet and a school flag on the wall. The office looked very much like Kathy Green’s but with more display stuff in it. There were pictures on the wall of various beaches, ships and other things that made me think of extravagant vacations. I didn’t see any pictures of family, or even anything similar, but this guy was definitely a jock. The image entered my mind that this was the kind of a guy with a little black book and a trophy wall at home with pictures of all the girls he had scored with. For some reason I was picking up a dislike for Rick Leerner, and I hadn’t even talked to him yet.

We took seats at his conference table, repeating the process that I had just gone though. Some idle chit chat about family and school before we got to the meat of the interview. Rick grilled me for about 40 minutes on financial planning topics such as the Stock Market, Investment instruments, Insurance instruments and such. He had some documents that he showed me and asked questions about. Each time he would turn a paper so I could read it, he leaned around the table so he could read with me. That put us very close together. For some reason this act made me very nervous, and his closeness affected my thinking and attention. I did not understand it, but I got fidgety and even a little shaky when he was next to me. Once he was done with his questions, he sat back in his chair and looked at me.

“Any questions for me?” he asked “Oh, nice ponytail, by the way”

I could feel the tension in my chest and instinctively touched my hair “Is this going to be a problem?” I asked

Rick’s smile broke into a laugh “In this place? Are you kidding? You haven’t met the Hippy yet”

As soon as the words left Rick’s mouth I heard a loud voice just outside the door “I heard that!!”

I turned just as the door opened and in stepped a man wearing a polo shirt, a pair of blue jeans and tennis shoes. He appeared to be somewhere in his 50s with mostly white hair pulled back into a ponytail that went half way down his back.

“This big oaf giving you hard time kid?” the man asked

“Geez George.” Rick said “Nice to see you dressed up for today”

The new guy in the room looked down at himself “I am dressed up, what do you mean?”

The man step to me with his hand out as I stood up. “Tim, George Storms, I am managing partner of this nut house, and I like your damn ponytail, so don’t let the Hulk here give you any crap”

Rick was still laughing and I couldn’t help but smile myself. “Come on next door and let’s chat a bit.” George said as he led me out of the office.

George’s office was an amazing contrast to the other two. He had the same desk and conference table but the table was piled end to end with stacks of papers, books and various items. His desk had a large computer monitor on one side, papers stacked on the other side and cleared down the middle so he could see the guest chair on the backside. There were golf clubs leaning in the corner and pictures on every wall of places like Woodstock and Jimmy Hendrix concerts. The wall behind his desk was full of 8X10 pictures of all sorts of people, with him and without. There was a picture of him on Harley, on a snowmobile and on a dirt bike. Somebody actually lived in this office.

George motioned me to the chair in front of his desk as he walked around.

“Excuse the mess, maid’s day off” he said as he sat down at his desk. “How’re the interviews going so far?”

“Okay, I think” I responded. “Kathy and Rick were asking some pretty tough questions but I think I did okay”

“Yeah, those two like to show off how smart they are. Problem is, they are pretty damn smart, so it’s hard to fault them. I see from your school record you’re pretty damn smart yourself?”

“I hope I am.” I smile shyly. “But it’s really not my place to make that judgment”

“So, with your GPA, how come you don’t have a job yet?”

“I am not really sure, but I have an opinion.” I answered as I reached around and lifted my ponytail.

George nodded his head “Had the same problem myself. For 2 years no one would hire this hippy, so I went out and started my own place.” George spread his arms indicating the office area. “Now I make more money than any two of those stuck up business types.”

I could not help but smile. George never did ask me any questions about accounting or business. We spent about 30 minutes taking about my family, school, where I grew up, what my sisters were doing and what my goals for the future were. The goals for the future was the toughest part, because honestly, I was still trying to figure out what I was going to be today, let alone tomorrow. The conversation with George was light and fun, and I felt very comfortable talking to him.

George turned and indicated the wall behind him. “Well, this is my brood. Been married to the same wonderful woman for 35 years, have 3 grown kids, 5 cutie grandkids and they are working on the 6th one. Well, actually they are probably working on the seventh one, but the sixth on is already scheduled for delivery.” Turning back to me, “Kathy told me you were asking her about our family values here at SL&G?”

“Yes Sir.” I responded

“Well, let me tell you, your Dad’s a smart man. Work goes away when you get too old, but family is forever. Never put anything in front of your family” George pushed a button on his desk while he was talking.

The door to the office opened and a lady in her mid 40’s with black hair styled with an inward curl just below her ears came in.

“Mary Jane,” George addressed her “Could you get Mr. Ringston a chair and a cup of coffee for a few minutes, and tell Missy and the Hulk I need to see them for a moment?”

George turned back to me as we both stood “It was good talking with you, Tim. We need a few moments and then we will get back you. Mary Jane will take care of you”

“Thank you, sir” I responded as I took his hand.

Mary Jane led me to a waiting area that had 2 overstuffed chairs and a leather couch. She showed me where the coffee was, which I declined, since I’d had too much coffee, instead of breakfast that morning.

I saw Rick enter George’s office and could see Kathy crossing the office area as she also went into George’s office. I guessed that my interviews were over and now I could just wait for the ‘don’t call us we’ll call you’ speech. This was the first time I actually had to look around the office area. I did not see a lot of people, but I could not see into many of the cubicles either. However the ones that I could see into were empty. There were a few people up and moving around but the place did not have a crowded feeling to it.

About 10 minutes passed and I saw Mary Jane come out of George’s office and return to her desk. She worked on the computer for a few minutes, picked up some papers from the printer and returned to George’s office. She was only in there a couple of minutes when she came back out and headed my way. She told me they were ready for me, so I followed her back to George’s office.

“Tim” George started “We only hire people that we think are special and have the right work ethic to support our small but growing firm. We like to choose people that align with our sense of values, because we work better as a team that way”

George paused to make sure I understood. “Yes sir”

“We have decided,” George continued, “that we would like you to join our little team here and would like to offer you a position.”

I could feel my hand shaking as the excitement was building inside of me.

George extended an envelope to me “In here is what we would like to offer you. I would like you to take this, and Mary Jane will show you a place you can sit and review it for a bit. Afterwards I would like to know what we need to talk about.”

“Thank you,” I responded with a smile towards all in the room.

Mary Jane led me to a small conference room and closed the door behind her. I opened the envelope and starting reading. Within the first four lines I was gasping. My God, the salary they were offering me to start was half again what I was expecting for an entry level position. They were offering me a signing bonus, full relocation package, fully furnished apartment for 2 months, and an annual bonus program. I had to read through the offer 3 or 4 times because I was not sure that I had read it right the first couple of times. I sat there for a couple more minutes before getting up and going back to Mary Jane’s desk, she escorted me back to George’s office where Rick and Kathy were still waiting.

“Okay” George started “What do we need to talk about?”

I looked at him for a couple of seconds; still not sure I believed “When do you want me to start?”

“Hot damn,” he said as he clapped his hands together, He stood up, extending his hand to me. “Welcome aboard, son”.

I shook hands with George, Rick and Kathy. “What happens next,” George said, “is Missy and the Hulk here, are going to take you to lunch. I would love to join, but I have Grandpa Duty this afternoon. After lunch Mary Jane is going to help you with the paperwork that needs to be done to make this official, as well as setting your start date. Now you do understand the contingency on that offer, right?”

“Yes sir” I answered “I need to sit for and pass the CPA exam within the next year.”

“Correct!” George nodded, “After you do the paperwork, we have a Real Estate lady that will pick you up here and show you around town, just a get familiar look. Patty is going to book your flight home for Sunday, so you will have all day tomorrow to look around your new hometown. Okay?”

There was more handshaking around the room before Rick and Kathy led me out to lunch. I honestly don’t remember much about lunch, because my mind was racing in so many different directions. The one thing that I did learn, which I had already suspected, was that Rick was single, so I was also sure I was right about the little black book and trophy wall. The paperwork back at the office took another hour, and then I met the Realtor for my tour around town. Through that evening and Saturday, she showed me a lot of different kind of places, from high rise condominiums to stand alone houses, and I was surprised at what I was going to be able to afford on my new salary.

I called my parents on Friday night and told them the news which just amazed my dad, but Mom was more concerned with me moving so far away.

Soon I was back in my little apartment and back on my focus of finishing school. I contacted the department store as soon as I was back in town to give them my two weeks’ notice. Through there were still 4 weeks of school left, I had enough money to cover my expenses, so I decided I would focus the last two weeks on getting finals done and packing for my move. For the last two weeks at work I dressed completely every night. I did my own hair, and took my own makeup, but I borrowed a dress and high heels from the store each night. I still had no real understanding of why, but I knew I felt my best and most comfortable when I was dressed as a girl, and the feeling of wanting to dress that way was becoming stronger and stronger. The interesting part of it was there was no sexuality involved in it. I didn’t think of sex much at all, either as a boy or as a girl, it just didn’t seem to interest me. I just knew what made me feel comfortable.

Mom and Dad came up for graduation. Mary and April were not able to make it but called me with congratulations on graduation and the new job. I took a week after graduation to get my apartment packed up and Mom and Dad drove back to help me move. I had acquired a few things since I’d started, and could not fit it all in my car. The moving company for SL&G was scheduled to pick everything up at the folk’s house the following week, including my car. I spent about 10 days with Mom and Dad before I left for my new job. The worst part of that, was I could not have any of my makeup and I was missing it. I think I became addicted to Chap-Stick during that time, as it was the closest replacement for lipstick I could find. I think my mom actually suspected that something was going on with her son. She tried a couple of times to start a conversation, but did not seem to know how, and I was not helping her any. This was really not something I wanted to talk about with anyone.

The day of my flight finally came and Mom and Dad took me to the airport. Hugs, kisses and handshakes were exchanged and I told them to keep me in mind when they were making vacation plans in the future. I boarded my flight and took my first class seat with a smile.