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After an hour the other guest had arrived and we all found ourselves around the dining room table. For such a crowd, Gerard had to add to extra leafs to extend the table all the way out. I was given a seat towards the end, in the back where it would’ve been tough for an adult sized person to fit in, and Laura sat right next to me. Across from me and further up sat my Aunt and Paul, I guess they sat there so they could keep an eye on me.

It wasn’t that I was self conscious about eating; it was just that even with wearing a napkin as a bib I didn’t want to get anything on my dress. It was such a pretty dress and I certainly didn’t want to ruin it by making a stain. My old habit, as of a day ago, was to just scarf everything down so I was sure to have seconds and thirds or at least make it to desert that much quicker. Today, however, as we ate a late lunch, I was sure to take small portions and to make sure everything that was on my fork made it into my mouth. I noticed that even though I went slower, I actually was enjoying the meal more than I had others. I finally realized what my Aunt meant by taking my time and actually tasting the food.

I stabbed another piece of steak with my fork. Gerard was nice enough to cut it up for me and I didn’t even raise a fuss or make a face as he did. I noticed that there was something different about my thinking, that I didn’t take people helping me as an insult for the first time in quite a while, and I liked the fact that I wasn’t so independent. There was a certain feeling of happiness and belonging that went along with having people help me and it made me want to do things to help them back.

I slowly put the manageable sized piece of meat into my mouth and made sure to chew with my mouth closed so I didn’t look like a cow chewing the cud. I noticed that my aunt kept an eye on me as I ate and that she was pleased. I didn’t know if she was pleased with the way I looked, or the way I was dressed, or that I was displaying good table manners as she had been trying to teach me for years; but there was a certain pride in her eyes that said she was happy that I was her child.

After everyone ate their fill a lot of the adults made their way to the living room. The festivities really were just beginning and there were still people arriving and other people leaving, I suppose they were making their rounds on Christmas.

I stood up from my chair when I saw I finally had a path to leave. In the past, or if I had been wearing some drab boy clothes, I probably would’ve just crawled under the table to make my escape. But I didn’t want to chance ruining my clothes this year, and, besides, I also didn’t want to run the risk of someone looking up my dress.

“You certainly are a patient little girl,” Sandra said, noting the change as I shuffled behind some chairs to make my way out.

“My aunt raised me right,” I said as I glanced at my Aunt Roe who remained at the table with two other women.

There was a certain sparkle to my aunt’s eye that said she agreed with my statement but was also in awe at my behavior.

“Come here, you,” Aunt Roe said as I finally made my way free from the back end of the table.

I dutifully complied with my aunt’s request as the other women looked on in keen interest. I am almost certain that they remembered me as the bratty boy from Thanksgiving that was just a bit too loud at some times and a bit too awkward at others. They wouldn’t have thought of me as the bad kid, but certainly one with issues to work out.

“Yes, Aunt Roe,” I said as I stood before her, putting my arms behind my back as I looked at her expectantly.

My aunt took me in her arms and pulled me in close, giving me the biggest Christmas hug that I have ever received. I in turn hugged back, foregoing my usually routine of trying to break free.

“Katie,” my aunt whispered in my ear. “I just want to say that I love you and I am very pleased with the way you are behaving today.”

Her statement made me feel all warm inside. I knew I was behaving in a much better way than normally, but I didn’t quite understand why. I wasn’t putting any conscious thought into doing the things I was doing; in fact I was going more on natural instinct than I regularly did. It was like when you are listening to a radio with static, after a while you get use to it there and you hear the music despite the pops, cracks, and whistles. But when the static is gone, you actually realize that you were hearing it all along and are happy that it is gone; and with that static gone, you appreciate the music all the more. I realized that all my life I was dealing with static, the static of the world and my body telling me that I was a boy. Though the music that was my life could be heard it was distorted by the popping, scratching sound of me living through that static. But with that extraneous noise gone, without it interfering with my ears, I could hear the song of my true self for how it really sounded. It was a song that was soft, that was light, that moved at a slow tempo; a song that spoke of love to be offered, of a heart that was caring, and of a certain beauty that went beyond external looks. It was a song that said, ‘I am a girl,’ and now that I heard it clearly for the first time, I decided I really liked it.

“I love you too, Aunt Roe,” I said as I remained in her embrace.

“That is so sweet,” the women around the table said.

My aunt let go of her embrace, but I still felt it on the inside.

“Is there anything I can do to help, Sandra,” I asked as I stood beside my aunt.

“Thank you for the offer, Princess, but no. Why don’t you go off to the other room and help keep Laura company? I know she is enjoying the time she is having with you.”

“Yes Sandra,” I said and then turned and skipped out of the room.

The women waited until I was out of earshot before beginning a new conversation.

“It’s like night and day,” Gladys said, a friend who knew my aunt from work.

“If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t have believed it,” Pat, a woman who knew my aunt from when they were teenagers added.

“Makes you wonder though,” my aunt said as she stared off towards the room where I was sitting, even though she couldn’t see me.

“Makes you wonder what, Roe?” Sandra asked.

“Outside of the anatomy, is there any boy in that child?” my aunt posed the question.

“It’s only been a short time, Roe,” Pat said as she put her hand on my Aunt’s forearm. “But, it looks like your nephew has taken to being Katie like a fish to water.”

“I agree,” Gladys added. “I mean we all saw glimpses of girlishness before in him, but Katie is an entirely knew person and a very happy little girl too.”

“It doesn’t appear to be an act,” my aunt lamented.

“I think the act was when you put her in jeans and a polo shirt,” Sandra said as she gathered the dishes together on the table.

The other two women agreed as they also helped to start clear the table.

“I suppose that leaves only one question then,” my Aunt said as she gathered wayward silverware.

“What’s that, Roe,” Pat asked.

“Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

I was sitting on the couch next to Laura when the women came in from the dining room. Each was holding a bag as they came to the center of the living room.

“Now,” Sandra announced. “Laura and the rest of our family had the opportunity to open our presents earlier this morning before company arrived, but there is one special little girl who hadn’t had the chance to open her gifts yet and we wanted to give her the chance before the day got away from us.”

I looked around and then realized that outside of Laura I was the only little girl around.

“That’s right, Katie, you,” Sandra said as she grabbed me gently by the hand. “And in this house, when you get gifts, you get to sit in the present opening chair.”

Sandra led me to a big recliner that Gerard pushed out to the center of the room.

I hopped up on the chair and was all smiles as the adults surrounded me.

My aunt handed me a flat package that was wrapped in blue paper with happy snowmen dancing throughout.

“This one is from me, Sandra, and Laura,” Gerard announced.

Knowing that people were waiting and watching me, I was a little quicker at opening my gift than I was at home, but I was still neat about it and made sure not to ruin the bulk of the wrapping paper. A cardboard box was revealed and I immediately removed the lid.

“It’s a big pink shirt with Hello Kitty on it,” I squealed as I held it up. It certainly was a long shirt that almost went to the floor.

“Silly girl,” Laura piped up. “It’s not a shirt, it’s a night gown.”

“Oh,” I said in embarrassment as I realized she was right. I wasn’t around many girls at night to realize such things and never did pay attention to the silky nightgowns my aunt wore at night. “I love it. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” Sandra answered for the family.

I stood up and walked over to Gerard. I gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek.

“And thank you, sugar,” Gerard said as he patted me on the behind.

The woman all let out an “Aww,” as they watched the exchange.

I returned to my seat as I realized there were more presents.

“This ones from me,” Paul said as he gave me a small present.

The box was so small that I had no choice but to rip apart the paper to the cheering delight of the adults around me. Inside was a small jewelry case. I opened that up to reveal a gold chain that had a gold heart pendant at the end.

“It’s lovely, Uncle Paul,” I said in pure joy. “Thank you very much.”

Paul remained standing by the chair. “And do I also get a kiss, Sugar,” he said with a mischievous look in his eye.

“Of course, Uncle Paul,” I said as I stood up on the chair. I put my arms around him and gave him a big squeeze and an even bigger kiss on the cheek.

“Merry Christmas, Katie,” Paul said as he gave me a squeeze. He then helped put the chain around my neck and the jewelry accented the dress nicely.

I opened up several other presents from friends of my aunts. I noticed a certain theme that ran through the gifts. It looked like everyone knew I was going to be making my debut as Katie and that made me wonder what they knew. I got a set of heart shaped earrings from Pat that were held on by magnets so I wasn’t required to get my ears pierced and was able to wear them right away. Gladys had given me a pink robe and matching slippers this way I could be comfortable around the house.

“Okay,” my aunt said. “Two more gifts left and they’re both from me.”

“Goodie,” I said as I clapped my hands together. “My aunt always knows what I want for Christmas.”

There was a brief hush around the room as the adults looked at me in the chair, seeing me all smiles in the maroon party dress they were all wondering if I realized how true that statement was.

My aunt handed me a big box that was wrapped in red.

I looked at the tag. “This one says for Keith,” I announced, knowing that everyone knew what my name was the day before. I did my best to not sound disappointed and I think I pulled it off.

“I think you dropped enough hints about wanting this,” my aunt said with a smile.

I carefully opened the present. I almost knew what it was before pealing back the paper, but sure enough soon a big black box sat in my lap.

“It’s a ColecoVision,” I said happily. “I did want this, thank you Aunt Roe.”

“You’re welcome, Sweety,” My aunt replied as she received her hug and her kiss. The response was much more measured than she had expected it to be, but she had a feeling the exploits of the day had tamed my desire for such a gift. She was also sure that if things got back to normal, the video game system would provide me hours of enjoyment and easy gift ideas for future events.

I sat back in my seat. My aunt did say two my gifts and so far I had only counted one. My aunt always saved the best for last, and I wondered what possibly could top my very own video game system.

“Here you go,” my Aunt said as she placed a pink wrapped gift on my lap that had a big silver bow.

I looked at the tag and smiled. “This one says for Katie,” I said as I looked at the approving smiles and nods of all those around me.

I carefully unwrapped the present, wanting to save the pretty pink paper. At first I just pulled of the silver bow and stuck it to my dress. The silver looked nice against the maroon. I pulled the two pieces of tape away from the crinkly paper and slowly unfolded it so it would reveal the package.

“A Cabbage Patch Doll,” I squealed in delight as I looked at the cloth doll with the oversized head.

The adults laughed about me.

“Wow, my very own Cabbage Patch Doll,” I said as I looked at it with eyes wide open.

“I’m glad you like it,” my Aunt said, evidently pleased with herself.

“I didn’t even know I wanted this so much,” I announced as I couldn’t contain my joy.

“That’s a very special gift, for a very special girl,” my aunt said.

I jumped out of the seat and ran towards my aunt. I gave her the biggest hug that I could.

“Merry Christmas, my Little Katie,” my aunt said while she was being smothered with kisses.

“There’s still one more present someone has to open,” I announced.

“There is,” my aunt looked at me.

“Uncle Paul,” I said as I turned towards him. “Do you have my gift for Aunt Roe?”

“Right here,” Paul said as he reached into his pocket.

I walked over to him and took the small package from his hand. I then returned to my Aunt and handed her the gift.

“For me?” My aunt said in mock surprise.

“It says from Keith, but it’s from me too,” I said as I looked on.

“I already know I’m going to love it,” my Aunt said as she stared into my eyes.

“Open it, Aunt Roe,” I said eagerly.

My aunt tore into the paper and revealed the small jewelry box. She carefully opened the lid and then her mouth dropped open.

“What is it, Roe,” Gladys asked.

A tear came to my Aunt’s eye as she pulled out the small charm. “It says, ‘Special Mom,’” my aunt told the room through her tears.

“I know I call you Aunt Roe, but you really are my mom, even if I don’t call you that,” I said as I remembered countless times that I asked my Aunt the privilege to call her mommy. She always told me she didn’t think it was a good idea, even though she would love it. She just thought that it would hurt my real mother’s feelings too much and didn’t want to cause further strife in the family.

“I love it Katie,” my aunt said as she composed herself, “and I love you.”

“I love you back,” I said as I leaned into her and received a kiss.

I think Gerard was getting uncomfortable with the amount of estrogen in the room and the open displays of affection. If it were the day before, I would’ve been uncomfortable right along with him, but being my true self allowed me to enjoy such things as I never had before.

“Okay,” Gerard announced. “Let’s get this party started.” He then turned on the radio and let music fill the room.

I stayed a moment more in my Aunt’s embrace, hoping that the way I felt would never go away.

“May I have the first dance,” Gerard asked me as he held out his hand.

“Certainly,” I said as my aunt let go of her hug.

Gerard led me to an open spot on the floor and while still holding my left hand he grabbed me around my waist with his right and lifted me up.

I laughed with delight as Gerard swayed me left and right, giving me an occasional swirl. Now that I was free of the shackles of my false-male persona I was able to let go and be myself. I giggled and squealed and for the first time wasn’t self conscious with who I was. Normally when I danced, I would just stand still and kind of sway slightly left and right, really worrying that I would make a fool of myself. But that wasn’t the real me, this was the real me, and as Gerard dipped me I flipped my hair back and laughed out loud.

Even when the door opened and I saw two boys enter, one around my age and the other who must’ve been in Laura’s class, I didn’t hide my joy. As the song ended, Gerard spun me around once again for good measure and then placed me on the floor.

“Thank you for the dance, little girl,” Gerard said as I could tell he was getting winded.

“No, thank you,” I replied and then gave him a hug on his leg.

I was feeling very warm and sat down so I too could catch my breath. I gently fanned myself with my hand as I let the world go on about me. I caught a glimpse of the two boys standing off in the corner with Laura, both dressed very nicely in suits. I realized how glad I was that I wasn’t wearing pants and a dress shirt, but they certainly did look nice on the young men.

I noticed that the younger boy kept glancing at me, but whenever I turned my head towards him, he looked away. I smiled to myself as I thought about him. I never before thought about boys in a romantic way, but I never did have the opportunity. It wasn’t something you brought up on the playground, unless you wanted someone to punch you in the kisser.

It took only a minute or two for my temperature to return to normal, and I didn’t have to worry about sweating any more. Still I sat in the chair, wondering what the next move would be. Though I was being myself, I had no clue what to do with a little boy that was attracted to me.

“Katie,” Laura called to me. “Katie come on over.”

I stood up and made my way to the small corner, making sure no adults bumped into me as they danced.

“This is my friend Katie,” Laura introduced. “She is Rosalie’s niece and comes over for parties.”

“Hi,” I said in a small mousey voice and gave a small wave.

“Katie, this is my friend Dexter. He’s a sophomore too and on the JV wrestling team.”

“Hi Dexter,” I said as I held out my hand.

Dexter took my hand gently, grabbing only at the fingers. “Nice to meet you,” he said in a voice that bordered on him being annoyed. It was evident that the only reason he was there was to spend time with Laura and the quicker he could be done with little kids the better.

“And nice to meet you too,” I said, trying not to sound sour or put off.

“This is my brother Henry,” he said in an introduction. “He thinks you’re cute.”

“Hey!” Henry scolded his older brother.

“We’ll let you two lovebirds get acquainted,” Dexter teased his sibling as he grabbed onto Laura’s hand and pulled her towards the stairs.

I watched as the two teens ascended the stairs and knew it was now my job to entertain the boy. I was too young to know exactly what they were going to do in Laura’s bedroom, but I knew her dad wouldn’t like it one bit.

“My brother can be such a jerk,” Henry said as he tried his hardest not to look at me.

“Oh,” I said, sounding a little sad. “So you don’t think I’m cute.”

I could see I got the boy a bit flustered and enjoyed that bit of power I suddenly found out that I had. “I didn’t say you weren’t, he just shouldn’t have told.”

“So you do think I’m cute,” I asked as I gave him a once over. He was a very slender boy, with curly blonde hair and blue eyes. I never judged a boy by this criteria before, but he was very handsome.

Henry blushed. “You are kind of cute,” he admitted and immediately blushed.

“You’re cute too,” I said, throwing caution into the wind.

Henry turned an even darker shade of red. “Hey, do you want to dance, or something?”

I smiled. “Dancing would be nice,” I said.

Henry took me by the hand. I could tell that his palms were hot and sweaty, but I didn’t mind. I knew that I elicited the response in him and I found that quite touching. Before then, I never questioned if I was attracted to boys, I just assumed that since I had a penis that I wasn’t. But now that the opportunity presented itself, I knew that I was attracted to this particular boy and I felt a warm sensation in my tummy as I knew he was also attracted to me.

I was held in Henry’s arms, and he was much stronger than he looked. We danced to a slow song, keeping an appropriate distance between our bodies as the music played. We stared into each others eyes, practically oblivious that the adults were all watching us. I was content to let him lead, and simply enjoyed the moment.

The song came to an end a bit sooner than I would’ve liked, but as the last notes played we were greeted to a light round of applause. Henry was evidently embarrassed, but I simply curtsied to the crowd.

“Ut oh,” Gerard said as he faced us. “Look who is under the mistletoe.”

Henry and I both looked up and realized it was us.

“You know what tradition says,” Gerard teased. “When lovers are under the mistletoe, they must kiss.”

I laughed out loud as Henry fidgeted in his spot.

I leaned into his ear. “Don’t worry, I got this under control,” I assured him.

That didn’t seem to calm him down.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss,” the adults teased and cheered.

I turned my head and planted a sloppy, wet kiss right on Henry’s cheek, leaving behind the lipstick evidence.

The adults cheered.

Henry turned so red that at a distance one might mistake him for a tomato.

I took Henry by the hand and led him away. “We better move before they demand another kiss,” I said, pleased with myself.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mind,” Henry admitted.

“You didn’t,” I said, in shock because he had looked so embarrassed.

“Not at all,” Henry said as his face returned to a more conventional color. “In fact,” he said and then paused. All of a sudden he reached over and gave me a peck right on the lips.

Now it was my time to blush, all the while thinking that this really was the best Christmas I ever had.

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Author's note: I am almost done. Tomorrow will probably be the last post. In hindsight I should've posted this under a different author name. I think it's a good story but the reads aren't there and that's discouraging. On a person note, the special mom charm event in the story really happened, minus me wearing the dress at the time.

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