Part 3:Is it love or just convenience:After Bill leaves home, an opportunity presents itself

Author Note: Here is my attempt at writing sexual content, Merry Christmas.

CAUTION: Contains graphic sex scenes (and a lot of them) from an unpracticed writer.

The night’s rest was far from a fitful one. Every time the wind blew Bill was wide awake and looking around for would be attackers. The sun was beginning to rise now and what little bits and pieces of sleep he did get helped rejuvenate the teen. He got to his feet, his body sore from both his dad’s assault and the hard ground that he slept on during the night. Bill stretched and yawned and tried to get some warmth through his body by bouncing up and down. It was December 24th, Christmas Eve, and there was no way this day couldn’t be better than the last, so he assured himself.

A rumble in Bill’s stomach told him he was still hungry. He decided to walk it off and headed back to the same place where yesterday’s whole mess got started. He didn’t know what was there exactly, maybe he would find where he lost the luck he once had.

By the time Bill got to the adult bookstore, though it took a few hours to get completely across town, it was not yet noon. Bill walked over to the glass front door and peered in. The place was completely vacant and the prospect of it opening that day was remote.

“Hey cutie,” a voice said from behind Bill that startled him.

Bill spun around. The man was tall, dark haired, and handsome, but not someone he knew. “Hi,” he managed to eek out.

“I saw the deal with the fuzz yesterday,” the man said as he inched closer. “It was a total set up.”

“You’re telling me,” Bill replied as he dug his hand further into his coat pocket. Though it was sunny, it was far from warm.

“How old are you sugar,” the man asked while cupping the teen’s youthful face, rubbing his thumb on the soft fleshy cheek.

“Sixteen,” Bill answered, slightly flinching from the man’s touch, uncomfortable with this aspect of being a girl.

The man smiled. “Sixteen and so beautiful. So what happened? Parents kick you out of the house or something?”

Bill blushed at the compliment. “Sort of,” he said noncommittally. “My dad started beating on me so I guess I left.”

“It happens. Kids and parents not getting along,, story as old as time. Would you like to go to my car, the heat works?”

“I don’t think I’m exactly what you’re looking for,” Bill said, concerned of the man’s reaction when he found out he wasn’t dealing with a true girl and remembering the ordeal yesterday with the sleazeball that turned out to be a cop. This was now his way out.

“Why? Because of this?” The man reached under Bill’s skirt and placed his hand on the teen’s maleness.

Bill squealed in surprise and horror. He didn’t utter a response, just nodded his head yes and waited for what came next.

“I think you’re the sexiest girl alive,” the man said. “So how about we warm up?”

“Okay,” Bill said, tired of freezing and being hungry. He slowly followed the man up the block to an early 90s Lincoln Town Car. The teen was impressed with the luxury vehicle.

The man opened the door for his guest. “Ladies first. My momma raised me to always be a gentleman.”

Bill was flattered and settled into the seat. The leather was soft and the thick cushion smothered his body in comfort.

The man let himself in on the other side and cranked up the engine. Immediately the heater came to life and blew full blast. “So sweetie, what name does my pretty girl go by, or should I just call you honey?”

Bill let out a soft hum, enjoying the first bit of warmth he felt in the longest time. “Sarah,” he said softly. The chill was beginning to leave and he could almost feel the tips of his fingers defrost.

“Sweet, sexy, Sarah,” the man said, almost singing the words as he opened the teens coat for him. “My name is Ronnie and I do believe we can have a very mutually beneficial relationship.”

Bill looked at Ronnie in confusion. “I don’t have anything to give,” he said as he watched the man in concern.

Ronnie smiled deviously. “I wouldn’t say that.” He put his hand high on the teen’s inner thigh, leaned in and softly kissed Bill on the lips. He savored the taste even though he felt Bill squirm in the passenger seat.

As soon as he was free, Bill contemplated running from the car. But where was he to run, he thought. He couldn’t go home, not if that meant destroying all that he knew he was, and there weren’t any friends that could offer him a permanent place to stay.

Ronnie looked at his captive, read the child’s face with care. “It’s okay to be scared,” he said reassuringly as he moved his hand to a more conventional spot. “Many are afraid when they venture off into new territory. You don’t have any real experience at being a girl, do you?” He grinned at the youth, already knowing the answer, but excited at the revelation.

Bill looked down at the cute black boots he’d purchased not too long ago. He understood the question and shook his head no.

“Then we’ll take things slow, but I guarantee that you’ll love every single minute of it.” Ronnie kissed the teen tenderly on the cheek. “Trust me.”

Bill still contemplated running. He knew where this relationship was heading and that by being quiet he was giving a silent permission for all that Ronnie had in mind. He was very much at a dead end and there seemed to be no other option but to go along until he figured something out.

“You look hungry,” Ronnie changed the subject as he put the car into gear. “How about I hit a drive thru and then we can head back to my place? It’s nothing big, but at least it’s warm and we can have our privacy.”

Bill nodded yes. He didn’t think it was a good idea, but the promise of warmth and food certainly outweighed his other options of either freezing or starving to death. He sat back in the warm car and felt numb.

Ronnie drove through a Burger King drive thru and ordered a Whopper Jr. and onion rings at Bill’s request. He ordered nothing for himself, saying that he had another delicacy in mind while looking at the body in the seat next to him. Bill knew it was he that was to be devoured as he daintily ate his meal while being driven through streets he didn’t immediately recognize.

The car pulled up to a row of two room apartments that looked like they were converted from an old motel. The apartment shared none of the Lincoln Town Car’s beauty or luxury. “Welcome to the Palace De Ronnie,” the man said as he opened the passenger side door. “It might not look like much, but it’s private and it’ll suit our needs. Besides, it’s warm and has a bed. You look like you haven’t slept in weeks.”

As soon as Bill left the auto he was struck by the bitter chill. A cold front had moved in and the temperature dropped closer to zero. He clutched his coat tightly around him and no matter what horrors waited on the inside; Bill couldn’t wait to get through the door and into the promised warmth.

Ronnie finally got the door to the apartment open and they both burst inside. Two space heaters were working overtime and the apartment felt like a sauna. Ronnie tool the teen by the hand and led him through the kitchen and into the bedroom, neither looked better than the outside facade.

“Did you enjoy your meal?” Ronnie asked as he stood the teen in the middle of a vacant spot on the floor.

“Yes sir,” Bill said with uncertainty in a whisper as Ronnie removed the thick winter coat he was wearing.

“Good.” Ronnie smiled. “Now it’s time for some desert.” He closed the distance between them, further meshing his body against his guest’s.

Bill remained still. A moment later Ronnie’s lips were pressed hard against his, his mouth was infiltrated by a foreign tongue. He could feel the man’s hand rub down his back, slip under his skirt, and cup his buttocks. Bill moaned, but it was indiscernible if the noise was in protest, acceptance, or ecstasy. The teen was aware of the rise in the man’s pants as it poked him in the stomach. Ronnie placed the boy’s hand on the bulge. Bill was at a lost at what to do, but wrapped his delicate fingers around the stiff rod and rubbed gently.

“Good girl,” Ronnie complimented as he parted from his prey. “Now, let’s see what we got to work with.”

Before he could raise an objection, Bill was soon relieved of his sweater, the thick sweatshirt he wore to school the previous day was not too far behind. Ronnie stood there admiring the shiny pink bra. He smiled. “They’re not hiding under this, are they?” he asked in disappointment as he held the cup of the bra to find the a-cups empty.

“N-n-n-no,” Bill stuttered as his body trembled. The bra was removed with precision as eh let he arms hang loosely by the sides of his body, offering no resistance. There was no point in hiding himself, he thought.

Ronnie unzipped the skirt and let it fall to the floor. He gently pushed Bill backwards, making the teen step out of the garment and sit on the bed. Ronnie further guided the barely dressed boy to lie on the bed. He smiled when bill offered no protest. He kissed the boy on the flat belly, running his tongue in a circle around the belly button.

Bill giggled out of reaction. He was highly ticklish and couldn’t avoid it. Even with the laugh, his nerves didn’t settle.

“It’s okay, we’re almost there,” Ronnie reassured as he pulled off the teen’s boots. The tights were pulled down next and though Ronnie didn’t need the boy’s help, he was encouraged when Bill wiggled his hips to aid in the process. Now Ronnie looked at his captive who was wearing a pair of pink panties that matched the bra. The underwear looked nothing more than a skimpy handkerchief being held up by a piece of string. The panties were expertly removed as well and the evidence of Sarah’s maleness showed.

Bill lay like a statue as the man devoured him with his eyes. The teen closed his eyes and wondered how he let things come this far. It was so out of his character to do anything risque other than joke about things he knew he’d never do, yet he was now naked on a stranger’s bed and not even putting up a fight.

Ronnie stared at the three and a half inches on what was, in every sense of his mind, the body of a girl. The signs of puberty were shaved away as the organ hung limply from the body. “God, Sarah,” Ronnie said as he crawled on the bed to be face to face with his victim, “you’re the sexiest girl I’ve ever met.”

No matter how frightened he was, Bill couldn’t stop blushing from the compliment.

Ronnie kissed the teen passionately. “I promised we’d start slow,” he said between kiss. “All I want from you, girl, is a hand job. That’s not much to ask for in exchange for a roof and food, is it?”

Bill knew he was trapped when Ronnie put his small feminine hand once again on the man’s engorged organ.

“That’s a good girl,” the man praised when Bill didn’t remove his hand from the throbbing rod, but slowly complied.

For as much as he was disturbed by his own actions, Bill positioned himself exactly the way his benefactor told him. He sat on the bed, his legs facing the head of the bed for Ronnie to see his slightly spread thighs unobstructed. His hand cradled the shaft, but Bill did not wish to look at it. Ronnie was rubbing over Bill’s maleness, but couldn’t elicit a response from the organ. The fact that Bill didn’t get aroused only excited the man further as he twisted the teen’s part between his thumb and forefinger.

Bill worked his hand up and down, matching the temp Ronnie illustrated when he guided the boy’s first five strokes. This was not Sarah’s doing, Bill thought to himself as he worked the man. It was Bill who was really doing the act and he was nothing more than a figment of the world’s imagination, he continued. Sarah is a good girl and would never sink so low. I’m a good girl. Bill has always been the problem, always getting in trouble, always ruining my life with that penis of his.

Bill’s tempo worked faster. He knew he wasn’t being rational with his inner thoughts, but they allowed him to separate his true self from the act his body was participating in. H also knew girls, even at his age, partook in such an exercise, but usually with their boyfriends or guys they knew. But Sarah was suppose to be different, someone special. He wanted to remain pure for when he shed his male body and could be fully Sarah. Hunger and cold made such lofty aspirations take a back seat, survival always came before morals. Somewhere in his mind, however, Bill reasoned that as long as he was performing this act in his male body, that his true female persona would retain all that is cherished of a girl; virtue, value, and virginity, the holy trinity of a girl raised true and wholesome. Still his hand worked the now slick and sticky rod of a stranger so he could make it through another day.

Ronnie moaned in pleasure. His eyes couldn’t decide if they should look at his prey’s face, chest, or diminished masculinity, so they darted too and fro. He stopped rubbing the boy’s privates, it was doing no good and he saw it lay enticingly limp. He knew how to change that, but chose not to. This moment was for his personal enjoyment. She had hers when he handed Sarah the brown paper bag that held the first bit of food the child had eaten in the past twenty four hours. He grunted some more as the feminine hand moved instinctively to a feverous pace. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he experienced the moment of ecstasy when his body released all that it had to offer. In that instance he knew he had found his pot of gold. Things would progress further later.

Bill stared at his hand in disgust, it was covered with the white sticky residue caused by his own diligence. He knew what was coming, but never explored the event on his own and expected there to be some kind of warning so he would not find himself in such a situation. Ronnie noticed the teen’s displeasure. “Bathroom is in there,” he said coldly as he motioned to a door in the corner of the room.

Bill wasted no time and rushed to the door. With his unsoiled hand he opened the door. Once inside, he closed the door behind him, even though afterward he wondered what was the point. He ran the water and rinsed off his hand, berating himself for allowing such a thing to happen. He found a bar of soap and even though he scrubbed as never before, nothing seemed to remove the sticky feeling from his mind even after it was long gone from his skin. For a moment he sat on the bowl and wondered if this was worth it. He looked down at his body and saw the bruise on his sternum where his dad belted him. Worth it or not, he really believed that he didn’t have any other option. He had to live and Ronnie would assure he survived.

Ronnie watched Bill when the teen came out of the bathroom. He was not disappointed by the boy’s looks. There was a certain sensuality that appealed to the man and he knew he could find clients willing to pay top dollar just for the child to perform what he just did. There were new contacts to make and he still had to break this one in, he thought as the boy returned to his bed. “By New Years at most,” Ronnie said to himself and knew that he was going to enjoy the process. This wasn’t the first teenaged boy he introduced to the game, but the air of femininity that this one displayed naturally was unmatched. He turned over and kissed the boy’s bare shoulder and squeezed his fleshy bottom.

“Sarah,” Ronnie said with a sappy sweetness. “You did great, you’re more a girl than any man could ever hope for.”

Bill blushed and shied away, he couldn’t deny his nature and how it made him feel when another recognized it. “Thank you,” he said softly.

“I got to go and meet some people. I’d invite you along, but you looked bushed. I took the liberty of laying out something you could sleep in,” Ronnie said with practiced concern in his voice. “Something left behind by an old girlfriend. Your panties are just underneath. I know how some of you girls can be about such things.”

Bill simply nodded. He felt uncomfortable being nude, it only reminded him of how much of a girl he was not. He stood up and walked over to a chair that he was certain a second hair store would turn away. He grabbed the panties that were actually his and, to his relief, slid them to their proper position. The sheer pink nighty was next, but did nothing to restore Bill’s sense of modesty. But he figured he had no other option at this point.

“I should be back by the time you wake up,” Ronnie said as he put on his leather jacket.

“I’ll still be here,” Bill answered in a voice displaying the uncertainty in which he held his comment.

Ronnie smiled and then left. Bill walked to the front window and watched as the Lincoln pulled away. Now was his chance to escape, even though he was certain he wasn’t a hostage. Still the question remained, escape to where. He shook his head and ventured back to the bedroom. Once there, he got under the covers and his exhaustion carried him away from this world.

Bill didn’t realize he’d been sleeping for eight hours until he opened his eyes and looked at the digital display of the clock radio next to the bed. Nine P.M., he thought to himself as he pushed the large black comforter off of his small, thin body. Last night must’ve really taken it’s toll. The teen sat up and got his bearings before rising. He placed his bare feet on the floor and eventually made his way to the small, dirty kitchen. A bag of food from Wendy’s was sitting on the table. Even though Ronnie wasn’t there at the moment, it was evident that he’d been in at least once that day.

Bill meandered to the bathroom and washed his hands twice, though he realized he was being somewhat compulsive about the matter, he still felt some evidence of Ronnie might still linger and wanted to be sure it was off his skin. None of the towels seemed to be clean, so Bill improvised and wiped his hands on the comforter in the bedroom before heading back to the kitchen.

The boy didn’t think a burger and fries was much of a real dinner, especially on Christmas Eve when it was a family tradition to have shrimp and sausage and peppers, but by the way his stomach was growling, he wasn’t going to forsake the food. Bill looked around the untidy kitchen and wondered if this was going to be his new home. He was sure Ronnie would bring it up, along with the conditions he would be required to meet. Though it wasn’t something he was looking forward to, Bill was willing to sacrifice his innocence if that meant he could remain Sarah. He didn’t want to think about it just then and decided to make plans for improving the things around him to make the situation bearable.

As he ate, Bill inventoried the cleaning he would need to do. The linoleum floor needed scrubbing, as did the walls. The rose print of the wallpaper was all but completely obscured under a decade worth of dirt. The dishes, what few there were, needed to be washed and put away. The windows needed to be hosed down with a high pressure wash system, and the oven needed to be scoured with steel wool and a host of chemicals in order to be remotely usable.

“I’ll talk to Ronnie tonight,” Bill said to himself as he finished the last of his meal. He decided there was really nothing to do, so he headed back to the bedroom and turned on the television. It really wasn’t like him to waste his time looking at the early news, but he wanted to see if any mention was made about him leaving home. Bill felt disappointed when there wasn’t.

Ronnie came into the house just as the news was discussing the weather. The meteorologist wasn’t painting an optimistic picture for the days to come. As soon as the door opened, Bill knew the man on the TV was right as he shivered from the blast of artic wind that cut straight through the apartment.

When Ronnie came into the bedroom he smiled while looking at the scantily dressed teen sitting on his bed and hiding very little. “I see you’re up and well fed,” he said to Bill though he addressed the boy’s crotch.

Bill was still flattered that someone found him attractive as a female. “Yeah. I must’ve been worn out.”

“I’m glad you’re awake, you can help me warm back up. So, come on over hear.” Ronnie gave an inviting smile.

Bill did as he was told and walked over to the man. He could still feel the cold on Ronnie’s body and as the man touched him on the arm, Bill let out a slight high pitched yelp from the coldness of Ronnie’s touch. “I see what you mean,” Bill said casually. “You’re downright frozen.” He wrapped his arm around the man’s waist and leaned his head on Ronnie’s broad chest. Though he knew there was more required, Bill didn’t mind this.

‘My sweet, sexy, Sarah,” Ronnie said as he ran his hand over the boy’s bottom. “I’m so glad I found you.” Ronnie’s left hand caressed the teen’s face when they parted. A moment later their lips were entwined as he kissed the boy with all the passion he could muster. He savored Bill’s taste, almost as much as he loved how easily the child submitted.

Bill felt the man’s heat rising, amongst other things. He knew that this was the true nature of their relationship. If Ronnie truly loved him, he doubted it. No feelings were reciprocated. This was the service he must supply for a roof and a bed. He accepted his role, even though it was far from optimal. Without being told or guided, Bill unbuttoned and unzipped Ronnie’s jeans, letting them fall to the floor. Bill kept his eyes straight, allowing his soul to go elsewhere while he grasped the man’s stiffness in his hand. Holding it was no better a feeling than having the six inch dagger stab him in the belly as Ronnie slobbered all over his mouth. But, at least with it in his hand, he could facilitate his torture being over that much sooner.

“Good girl,” Ronnie moaned his praise as he felt himself being stroked by his prize.

Bill nodded unconsciously as he continued to stay there in body, but in no other way. It was just like those times in school when the teacher would drone on and on about a subject Bill already knew. He would stare at the teacher, like he was enraptured by the words she spoke, his hand would move and write down all the proper notes, but his spirit was miles away in a place even he didn’t know.

Ronnie was so please with the progress that his subject made that he was even more excited than he had ever been before. Though the thrill of conquering, of wearing down his victim into submission, was peculiarly absent, there was a certain sensual element about having an almost willing partner. Of course he knew what he was doing, he’d been in this field of work for quite some time. Ronnie knew what he was doing was tetra mount to blackmail, but his sweet, sexy, Sarah didn’t put up any of the usual defenses or roadblocks. Either he was fulfilling the young boy’s wildest fantasy, which he thought unlikely, or he found someone in so desperate a situation that they were willing to sacrifice anything for the bits of table scrap life he had to offer. In either case, he really didn’t care. As long as his pet behaved and made him happy and brought in money, what ever the reason Bill was following his command was of second concern. .

Ronnie put his hands on the boy’s shoulder and gently urged the teen further down his anatomy.

Bill found himself on his knees. The only part of the man he could see was the engorged wand, red, with thick ugly veins that looked nowhere near attractive. Its only eye stared him in the face as it throbbed with heat. He didn’t need to be told what to do; Bill already knew what was expected of him. He held onto the base with his diminutive hand. Cautiously he moved his open mouth of the head of Ronnie’s penis. It tasted salty, an odd mixture of sweat and lust. Bill closed his eyes. Slowly he took more of Ronnie into him, trying to imagine that the only thing in his mouth was a large candy cane. Soon it was all in his mouth; the stories that some boys told as school about making a girl gag were not true, at least not in the case. He worked his way back to the tip and returned. As long as he didn’t think about what he was doing, he wouldn’t get sick, Bill assured himself.

“That’s my girl,” Ronnie praised, amazed at how he didn’t have to use any tactics to bring his silent request into fruition. The man put his hand on the back of the teens head and controlled the tempo of the act.

A few moments into the dance, the sick taste of sweat and sex were gone from what the teen was working on. For that he was relieved. Now, as long as he kept his eyes closed, he may have well had a thumb or other finger in his mouth. TO make it more bearable, he kept his mind and soul elsewhere, his body was doing the work automatically, there was no need for anyone to be at the controls. Then, for some yet unexplained reason, Ronnie let go of the teens head and the two were no longer joined. Bill looked up in confusion.

“Stay there,” Ronnie commanded. “It’s time you felt like a real girl.” The man eased the teen down and all fours and made the boy raise his hips in the air. Ronnie walked behind his pray, lifted the scanty nighty up over his waist and, at the same time, pulled the panties down to the child’s knee. The view excited him further as he cupped one of the boy’s lower cheeks in his hand and spread it apart from the other.

Bill quivered in fear. He felt the part that was just shortly before in his mouth resting against his backside. He knew what was about to happen but was in no position to stop anything. Bill felt himself being entered. Ronnie was going slowly, but the pain was excruciating. The teen felt as if his anus was being torn apart. Bill let out a cry, hoping that it would signal the man to stop. Finally Ronnie had everything in, the pain would not increase, or so the boy hoped as he cried.

Ronnie kissed the back of the boy’s neck. “The first few times always hurts, but you’ll learn of the pleasure. All girl’s go through it, you’re no different my sweet, sexy, Sarah.” He gently eased out and started pumping in a soft easy rhythm.

Bill cried and groaned in pain. It hurt so much that not even his mind or soul could escape the agony. He could feel the pace quicken as the pain became greater and greater. All the while Ronnie was praising him, telling him how sexy he was, how good he was, how he was now more closer to being a girl than ever before in life. The rhythm turned to a frantic pace. Bill howled and cried and begged for it to be over. In an instant it was. Bill could feel that Ronnie was no longer in him and a second later hot, sticky liquid was sprayed along his back and buttocks. He knew it was over and collapsed on the floor right were he was.

“You were wonderful, baby,” Ronnie said as he fell atop the boy. “There’s a store, a Wal-Mart, a few blocks away. Why don’t we go there after you take a shower? We’ll get something for a proper Christmas feast and perhaps a few odds and ends.

Bill nodded as he was let off the floor. He hastily grabbed his regular clothes and entered into the bathroom so he could make some attempt at cleansing himself from what he did. Once he was there he closed the door and began to cry. A moment ago he was crying because of the pain Ronnie brought to his body. Now he was sobbing because it was one thing for a body to ache, but it is quite another for a soul to shatter into a million pieces and be ground into a powder.

Bill ran the water for the shower, knowing that during the cold night it would take some time for the hot water to kick in. Through he was practically there, the teen fully undressed even though his tears never ceased. So much was wrong with life and the pain from his anus paled in comparison to the pain in his heart. He wanted to scream on top of his lungs in agony as the room spun around him and the walls began to feel as if they were closing in on him. He didn’t scream, that wouldn’t be prudent or helpful. What was truly needed was for the boy to calm down and start using his head. That’s what Bill attempted.

He wrapped two layers of toilet tissue around his slender hand and brought it to where he was penetrated, sure enough there was evidence of blood. He expected as much as he discarded the waste into the toilet. The teen could almost laugh, all the stories he heard about a girl losing her virginity always included the mention of blood. Bill shook his head, wasn’t this further evidence that he was really a girl, he mused to himself as he sat naked on the bowl. Life always had its mysteries for a person trapped in the totally wrong body.

The water heated itself nicely and Bill jumped in. He knew that no matter how hard he scrubbed, nothing was going to remove the filth of his sin. He tried anyway. The harsh spray of the water felt like pinpricks when they struck the skin. It down right hurt when it struck the area that was roughly breached. Bill decided not to wash his hair. To go out in such cold with a damp head of hair had the same effect as putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. Though part of the boy felt like dying for what he had allowed to happen, he knew he truly didn’t want to depart from this world.

After the shower, Bill dried quickly and thoroughly and then got dressed in appropriate clothing for being around other individuals. Even after the half hour under the water, the teen still felt dirty and suspected that it would be a long time before he felt pure again, if ever. It wasn’t so much the act of sex that tarnished him, but the conditions it came about. There was no love, no seduction, just the promise of a warm bed and a few dollars worth of fast food. He understood that he was now prostituting himself, the same charge that landed him into the situation in the first place, but Bill saw no way out. Maybe a few minutes alone to think and pray would reveal the answer, the teen hoped as he departed the bathroom.

“Hey, sweet, sexy, Sarah,” Ronnie said with a smile of a man who had won. “Give me a half hour to shower and all and we’ll be on our way. We’ll have a good Christmas together and I’ll get to unwrap my present again and again.”

Bill knew that the man was talking about him. He knew he made a mistake just accepting the ride so many hours ago. “I think I’ll walk,” Bill mustered the courage to say. “You said it was close by and I could use the fresh air for a couple of minutes.”

“Sure thing, sexy,” Ronnie said nonchalantly. He knew he had the teen in his grasp and didn’t fear losing control. In fact, the way he figured things, the could air would lead to another sexual escapade when the boy needed to thaw out. He gave the child directions which consisted only of turning right out of the parking lot, and another right at the main street two blocks down the way.

“I’ll see you there,” Bill said as he put on his winter coat and bundled it tightly around his body.

Ronnie got up to see his new found toy to the door. “Hey kid,” he said before letting Bill out. “Don’t think too hard about things. I know it was your first time and all, but these things get easier with time and you’ll grow to love it.”

Bill stared at his boots and nodded. He wasn’t sure if what the man said was true or not and was even less sure if he really wanted to find out. “I guess,” he finally mumbled, but kept his head down. “I just need some air and some time.”

Ronnie lifted the teen’s chin and looked directly into the boy’s eyes. The man kissed Bill softly goodbye. “Don’t freeze to death out there on me,” he said in parting.

Bill nodded again, and then made his way out the door. He felt as if the man was delaying him going, but as he stepped into the parking lot he thought better of it. The weather outside was beyond cold. Bill thought it was an appropriate representation of his heart. He slowly walked up a slight incline to the main road, but his spirit felt even lower. How was he going to make life right, he pondered? The tears returned as he shuffled his feet down the empty road. It was Christmas even and he was completely alone for the first time in his life. Even if Ronnie were right next to him, he figured he would still feel that way.