Not Again!

By: Dustin C.

Author's Note: This is the product of a stray thought I had while thinking about some past experiences with Dungeons and Dragons. I wonder what would happen if something like this actually occurred next time I play?

The cold wind bit at my exposed skin, stiffening my rippling muscles as I sought to ignore it. Our target was just in front of us. I turned to Shonim, who stood perched on a tree, his bow trained at the fortress above us. He was the only human in the world I had come to trust.

“You see anything?” I asked, keeping a hand on my own sword, just in case.

“Nothing. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that the place was empty,” he said.

I growled under my breath. “Why do we have to be so quiet? I’m freezing without my armor!”

“Just flex a few times. That’ll warm you up,” Dox said, appearing out of thin air. His very bones had been augmented with a mysterious metal, which allowed him to teleport himself or other objects at will. The ability had saved us countless times.

“Or maybe we can go into the warm fortress,” I quipped.

“You can breathe fire, for crying out loud!” Dox exclaimed.

“Yeah, like we wouldn’t be seen if I started a fire,” I said. I heard Shonim laughing above us. He climbed down to the ground near the two of us.

“Are we ready to go in?” I asked.

“What are we going to do? Climb the walls?” Shonim asked.

“I can’t teleport inside. There are no windows to see a destination with,” Dox said sullenly.

I smiled. “I’ll knock on the front door. Barely clothed like this, I can be seen as a lost refugee. They’ll let me in and you can use the opening to sneak in yourselves.”

“That could work,” Dox said, “they don’t know we’re a threat.”

“Alright,” I said, “I’ll go. Keep watch, just in case.”

I gave Dox my sword and stepped into the biting blizzard. I trudged across to the large door adorning the fortress. I couldn’t help but feel as if the door itself was watching my approach. I knocked on the door, but something felt off about it. A small compartment in the door opened and a pink orb flew out, hitting my chest before I could react. I felt dizzy for a moment as my body reshaped itself. My eyes bulged out of my head when I looked down to find myself a nearly naked woman!

I stood up, banging my fist on the table. “Dang it, Nate! Not again! Why do you keep doing that?”

Nathan, our Dungeon Master, laughed. “Dude, I’ll stop doing it when you stop reacting so hilariously!”

I groaned, sitting back down. “I should have checked for traps!" I sighed. Everybody just laughed.

End.