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{Warning This Chapter contains some Self Violence, Dream Sequences, and Extreme Length of Story}

Authors’ Note: This chapter begins a storyline which will ultimately result in Sarah’s life being very, very different. We ask that readers bear with us and please hold any judgment or negative, gut reaction until chapter 10 has been completely posted. How this will work is that chapter 10 will appear in two parts, with a “oneshot” flashback story in-between.

Thanks for your patience and continued support!
Ashleigh and Zoe

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“N-n-no,” Sarah moaned, rolling over violently in her bed, lost in a nightmare of her own insecurities and fears. She wandered alone in the bleak darkness for what felt like hours, stumbling completely at random until, finally, she bumped into a familiar face.

“She-male,” Em cackled derisively. Beth giggled.

“Nice! You’re such a-” Beth began, Em continuing.

“Little fucking freak, Johnny. You let us-”

“Dress you like a girl, our own-”

“Personal dolly! You’re no girl-”

Both girls chimed in unison, “But you’re too sissy to be a boy!” The girls giggled and cackled, shoving Sarah around a couple of times until she managed to break free and ran.

She stopped to catch her breath, just as Robin approached her, smiling sweetly. “Aww, what’s wrong?”

“Robin, thank God,” she gasped, out of breath. “Everyone’s gone crazy!”

“Sweetie, if you think everyone else is crazy,” her voice warped into a dark giggle, “Maybe it’s just you! You’re nothing like me, you fucking sissy freak. You’ll never be as pretty or popular as me. You’re just an ugly tranny freak!”

“John, you fuckin’ idiot,” her brother Ricky admonished. “It’s all your fuckin’ fault we died! If you’d just man up like Dad asked, we’d both still be alive!”

“He’s right John,” Margaret added in a sorrowful tone. “If only you had listened, I or your brother Ricky would have been there to call 9-1-1. You set Ricky off the night of his accident after all. You murdered them both! Why couldn’t you be more like your brother?”

“Johnny Boy,” John Sr. laughed as he approached, striking his belt flat against his leg. “I think it’s time I tanned your ass like I shoulda done all them years ago, you little queer. You know how hard it was for me, havin’ to put up with my drinkin’ buddies laughin’ at my boy, the fuckin’ fag? Yeah, you remember don’cha John. Me an’ Ricky laughin’ at the fuckin’ fag in his room cryin’ all the damn time!”

Sarah’s eyes widened, and she spun about, spotting an opening to flee. She ran until her lungs hurt, stopping beneath a streetlamp, near doubled-over in pain and sobbing bitterly. “Why are you doing this?!” she shrieked.

“Where y’goin’ John? Y’didn’t think yer cousin Moira wouldn’t be havin’ somethin’ t’say now do ya?” She paused, and smirked, “Who’m I kiddin’? Yer no Cameron! No Cameron woman would give brith ta such a sissy-boy, an’ yer damn sure no woman! Yer nothin’!” Moira, at those words, spat right in Sarah’s face, temporarily blinding her.

She felt a swift kick to her midsection and collapsed in tears as Nicole’s boot-heels clicked against the sidewalk.

“Fucking loser. You know how much time Robin wasted replying to your stupid letters when she should’ve been focusing on her cheer routines? They lost the Nationals because of you, you fucking worthless freak!”

“John, you fucking blockhead,” Christina shouted as she raced up, kicking Sarah squarely in her sensitive lower region. “I had a huge fucking crush on you and you blew me off to pretend to be a girl! What the hell were you thinking?! Fuck you John! Just fuck yourself!”

“Man, I’m glad my brother beat you six ways from Sunday John. Next time I think I’ll hold your sissy ass down so he can finish the job!” Max laughed, grabbing Sarah and pulling her up by her bra-straps, letting them snap hard against her otherwise bare skin. “Oh hey, look who it is!”

Nathan, grinning like a barracuda with blood in the water, slowly approached, pounding his fist to his hand.

“You little motherfucker. I shoulda killed you when I had the chance. Hold this little queer still while I break every bone in his body for him, starting with his teeth!”

~oOo~

Sarah literally shot bolt upright in bed. Her eyes stung so badly she could barely see, and her dark peach nightgown hung loosely, torn nearly in half in some places. She stumbled onto the floor, crawling to the full-length mirror. She staggered to her feet, but in the darkness, the blur of tears, and the addled confusion of her thoughts, it looked like a bloody reflection stared back at her.

With a vengeful scream, she slammed both fists into the mirror, sending shards of glass everywhere. She screamed and sobbed, clawing at the glass shards until she managed to grasp one. Her hands shook badly as she struggled to hold onto it, slicing her hands and kneees in the process.

“Sarah, what on- OH MY GOD!” Margaret howled as she turned on the light, illuminating the grisly scene. Barefoot herself, she raced heedlessly across the broken shards, grabbing Sarah and dragging her forcefully away.

“LET ME GO!” Sarah screamed. “I HAVE TO CUT IT OFF! IT DOESN’T BELONG! I HAVE TO!”

“Sarah!” Margaret pleaded, “Sarah snap out of it!” but Sarah didn’t relent, going so far as to try and bite her mother’s hand as she struggled for freedom. Margaret fumbled for the smartphone Sarah left lying on the nightstand. Somehow she managed to hit the speed dial function, which automatically dialed Ashleigh’s number.

“Hello?” Ashleigh groaned over the speakerphone. Her tone changed a mere second later at the sound of Sarah screaming bloody murder for someone to let her go. “Sarah!? SARAH what’s going on!”

“Ashleigh call 9-1-1!” Margaret shrieked. “Please for the love of God just call and tell them.. Oh God, there’s blood everywhere! Oh God please, don’t let her die!”

The connection became silent for a moment, presumably as Ashleigh put the call on hold to call for emergency services. Meanwhile Margaret struggled, holding for dear life to keep Sarah away from the shattered mirror.

“You said it yourself!” Sarah shrieked, sobbing. “I killed them! I fucking killed Daddy and Ricky! I don’t deserve to live! I’ll never be a real girl!” she howled madly. “Let me go!”

“Sarah get hold of yourself!” Margaret tried to reason, but to no avail. Ashleigh’s voice returned to the phone on the nightstand. “Margaret what the fuck is going on?!”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!” Margaret shouted back. “Sarah’s trying to kill herself! Please just get someone here now!”

Downstairs, someone pounded on the door, and a moment later it slid open. “I unlocked your security remotely. The paramedics should be there by now. Margaret, I’m flying out immediately and someone had better have some God damn answers when I get there.”

A man and a woman suddenly burst through the bedroom door carrying a backboard. “The stairs are too unwieldy to get her down on a stretcher. We have to strap her down and carry her. Get her down and let’s stop that bleeding!” the woman barked.

“LET ME FUCKING GO!” Sarah shrieked, trying to bite and claw the male paramedic as he reached for her. She managed to carve a large scratch on his face before the three strapped her down. He tried not to pay attention to it, instead focusing on administering first-aid.

“Shit, she’s severed an artery. Let’s get some pressure on that wound. We need to get her to a hospital now!”

“Oh God!” Margaret sobbed uncontrollably.

“I’ll radio for a medivac as soon as we get her downstairs,” the woman stated calmly, ignoring Margaret’s reaction for the moment. “Ma’am are you hurt badly?”

“W-what?” Margaret stammered.

“Your feet. You’re bleeding. Are you hurt badly!” she demanded.

“N-no, I’ll be fine, just help her! For God’s sakes, just save my daughter!”

“One, two, three, lift!” the male paramedic counted, and on three they hoisted her up. By now two police officers who happened to be in the neighborhood burst into the room. Both female, the blonde-haired officer nodded.

“Officer Garrett,” the female paramedic nodded, as the four of them carefully carried Sarah out of the room.

“I heard the address, and thought I’d better look into it,” she tried to shout over Sarah’s almost incoherent screams.

“We need to get her to the hospital! You three strap her down while I radio for an airlift!”

The officer nodded, and as they carefully toted Sarah, strapped tight and screaming every foul-mouthed profanity her mind could conjure, the medic radioed in her request. By the time they had moved Sarah outside, both Margie, Carol, and Joe had come out to see what all the noise was about. The two women stayed off to the side, but Joe approached, though keeping a careful distance.

“Is there anything we can do?” he shouted. Already the sounds of a helicopter grew louder and louder in the near distance.

Officer Garrett approached, pointing at Margaret, who stood hunched over Sarah’s screaming form. “We need someone to get the mother or we’ll never get her into the chopper! We need to get her out of here now before she loses any more blood!”

Joe nodded, motioning for the two women as he approached.

“Margaret!” he shouted, placing a hand on her shoulder. “They need to get her out of here now! We’ll drive you there, but you need to let her go!”

“Margaret!” Margie added, “I know how you feel, but you have to let them do their job!”

Margie may have achieved her goal, but she certainly didn’t do it the way she intended. Margaret spun around lashing at Margie. “You have no fucking CLUE how I feel! Not only do I have Ashleigh Fucking McGreagor breathing down my neck about my OWN daughter, I have to watch her have a psychotic breakdown and bleed to death in her own house! So don’t you fucking DARE tell me you know how I feel! That’s my BABY dying!” she wailed.

By now Joe had grabbed her, holding her gently, but firmly as the medics and officers loaded Sarah into the chopper. Within a few seconds the medivac touched off again, flying at a fevered pace off into the distance again.

The two medics rushed back to Margaret’s side. “Ma’am we need to look at your feet,” the woman urged gently. Margaret ignored her, so Joe just knelt and hoisted her right off her feet, setting her down just inside the door of the ambulance.

“I’m going to go take a look around upstairs, see if I can piece together what happened here,” Officer Garrett’s partner offered, but not in an accusing tone. Jane nodded, turning back to Margaret.

“Ma’am, your daughter’s in good hands. She’s going to get the best care in the city. They’ll evac her to a pediatric hospital in New Haven as soon as she’s stable.”

“You don’t understand,” Margaret sobbed. “Please, you have to call her therapist. The hospital has to know.”

“Margaret, sweetie,” Carol offered, “The hospital has Sarah’s records already. You don’t have to worry about them mistreating her.”

“Mistreating her?” Jane questioned, frowning. “Is there something I need to know?”

Joe frowned, motioning for Officer Garrett to follow him. He led her a few steps away, speaking softly.

“Sarah is a ‘special’ young lady.”

“Special how, exactly?”

“Transgendered special,” he answered softly. “She had a hard life in Arkansas, and they moved here to try and escape that. Now for what it’s worth I don’t know what all this is about, or what set that little girl off, but my daughter’s best friend vouches for both of them, and that’s good enough for me. Robin has a sixth sense about people.”

“Yes, she does,” Jane sighed softly. “Alright, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll try and stall an investigation for a couple of days until we can gather all the facts. But you must admit this looks bad. There is blood everywhere up there.”

“The upstairs is a real mess,” the second officer added as she approached. “Jane, I’m going to put up some police tape and have the boys from CSI look around.”

“All right,” Jane answered simply, turning back to Joe. “I’ll do what I can. Is there anyone else, any other family that need to be notified?”

“Her aunts. Carol has their contact information. We’ll give it to you if you prefer.”

“That would be extremely helpful sir. I want to believe you about Robin’s intuition. She’s an amazing kid, but I can’t admit sixth sense as evidence. For now let’s just get the mother to the hospital. We’ll handle things here, okay?”

Joe nodded softly.

~oOo~

“LET ME GO! I HAVE TO CUT IT OFF!” Sarah shrieked, struggling vainly as the helicopter touched down on the roof of the Alpine Springs regional hospital.

“What have we got?” Kelly shouted as one of the on-board medics stepped off, moving the stretcher carefully.

“Multiple lacerations to the hands, knees, and legs. Severed artery. Blood pressure’s dropping rapidly. We need to get her into surgery if she’s going to survive.”

Kelly froze as she heard Sarah’s familiar, if tormented screams. “Nurse, let’s move!” he shouted. Kelly nodded quickly, her ER training taking over.

“We need to get her to the emergency OR. I just hope to God LeAnn’s taking her coffee break like I told her to.”

Within seconds of entering the hospital proper, Sarah found herself flanked by more and more unfamiliar people in hospital scrubs. Her eyes widened and she began to scream even louder. “PLEASE GOD NO DON’T HURT ME JUST LET ME GO PLEASE OH GOD!” she babbled incoherently.

“Sarah honey,” Kelly tried to calm her. “It’s me, remember? LeAnn’s friend Kelly?” Kelly glanced at one of the medics that had brought her in even as they wheeled her into pre-Op. “What the hell happened? Who did this to her?”

“I don’t know ma’am. We just picked her up from the residence. All she was screaming on the way here is ‘it’s got to come off’ and ‘let me cut it off’.” He shook his head. “She needs to be sedated before she hurts herself any further!”

“SARAH!” LeAnn screamed, bursting through the double-doors.

“Le-LeAnn!” Sarah cried out. “LEANN HELP ME PLEASE! GET THEM OF ME! LET ME CUT IT OFF FOR GOD’S SAKES!”

“LeAnn,” Kelly headed her off, forcing her back out.

“Kelly get outta my way!” LeAnn ordered.

“No, LeAnn you don’t need to see this!”

“God damit she’s my baby sister! What the hell’s goin’ on?!”

“Nurse!” Kelly shouted at a passing nurse, who raced over. “They need help in the OR. I’m going to escort Ms. Cameron down to the waiting room so we can talk.”

“Don’t you ‘escort Ms. Cameron’ me, Kelly Jones!” she barked, perhaps for the first time in her life showing some initiative.

“LeAnn, it’s me. I’m not your father and I’m not your boss. I’m asking you as a friend, please, come with me and let them work.”

“But she’s my sister!” LeAnn sobbed. Kelly pulled her close, leading her down the hall. The screaming had finally subsided, which meant they were sedating her, but now the real work began.

“I know honey, I know,” Kelly cooed as she held LeAnn close. “My mentor, Linda was like a den mother to us young nurses back in California. When she had her car accident, I was on duty. I had to deliver the bad news to Robin.”

“Oh Gawd,” LeAnn wailed into Kelly’s shoulder. “Why do we do this Kelly? Why do we put ourselves through this shit knowin’ one day someone we love could come through those doors on a stretcher?”

“There are no guarantees in life LeAnn. We do this job so that the family members of the hundreds or thousands that come through those doors on a stretcher that aren’t our loved ones are taken care of too. Come on, let’s go sit down okay? I’ve got you.”

“There was so much blood,” LeAnn sobbed. “She’s lost so much. H-how can she...”

“Shh. Don’t talk like that. She’s going to be fine.” In her heart, Kelly wondered if she was lying to LeAnn. They both knew that there was way too much blood on those bandages. Something serious had happened, and Sarah’s life now hung in the balance because of it.

As Kelly guided LeAnn to an empty waiting room, she carefully eased her friend onto one of the sofa-benches. LeAnn hesitantly looked up at Kelly, confusion etched on her face as she shook her head.

“W-what did she mean, ‘cut it off’, ‘let me cut it off’?”

Kelly sighed deeply as she lowered her head. “I pray to God every night that Robin never reaches that point, that awful low in the pit of your stomach where you realize you’ll never be whole without... extreme measures.”

“Kelly hon, I got no clue what you’re goin’ on about. Would you please just tell me why my baby sister’s about to die in a pool of her own blood?”

Kelly sighed. “I don’t know how else I can put this, so... Here goes. She... wanted to take her own boy bits off.”

“Oh... Ohh... Oh my God,” LeAnn gasped. Kelly nodded slowly.

“Remember, I was like her. I meant what I said to my father, when he threatened to send me to military school. I would’ve rather died, even if by my own hand, than to be forced to go there. I was convinced it was like prison, where ‘boys’ like us are … ‘mistreated’ badly, let’s say. Sarah though... I don’t know what could have set her off like this.”

“She sure as shit didn’t say anything to me,” LeAnn whimpered, trying to contain herself as Katelyn burst through the door.

“Where is she?! Shit, LeAnn what the hell is going on?!”

LeAnn looked back, blinking twice. “Katelyn? H-how’d you get here before Momma?”

“Two speeding tickets and a stoplight. We can talk about it later. What’s going on?”

Kelly stood to approach. “Sarah’s not well. You’d better sit down.”

“Fuck sitting down, I want to know where the fuck my girlfriend is and I want to know now!”

“Honey,” LeAnn tried to sound strong, “Sarah’s in surgery right now. She.. She,” her voice cracked and she started to sob again. Both Katelyn and Kelly sat beside her, though she buried her face in Kelly’s shoulder. Kelly shook her head slowly.

“She had multiple lacerations on her hands and knees, and at least one severed artery. She was screaming about ‘cutting it off’ when they brought her in. It’s like she was crawling on broken glass or … something,” Kelly hesitated on the ‘something’, and Katelyn scowled.

“You know what happened don’t you?”

“I have an idea,” Kelly answered softly. “But let’s not jump to conclusions. You’re Sarah’s girlfriend you said?”

Katelyn nodded swiftly. “All right. Will you stay with LeAnn? I’m going to scrub up and see if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“No, Kelly, you’re too close,” LeAnn tried to protest. Kelly shook her head.

“LeAnn honey, I was an ER nurse in San Francisco. There’s nothing I haven’t seen. Stay with Katelyn. I’m asking you as a friend, please don’t follow me. You’ve been through enough tonight.”

Kelly stood to leave, and Katelyn latched onto her arm the moment she moved. “She said no,” she advised. “Besides, I need you here with me.”

“W-what?” LeAnn asked, turning back to Katelyn.

“I need you to be here with me, so I don’t completely fucking lose it,” she sniffed, bursting into tears as she grabbed onto LeAnn.

Margaret, Margie, Joe, and Carol all entered a few moments later. Margaret had at least changed out of her bloody nightgown, but her hands and feet were obviously bandaged, a loose pair of sandals snugly fit over the white gauze.

“Hi Momma,” LeAnn croaked. Katelyn turned, puffy-eyed to stare at Margaret, who just hung her head.

“I don’t know anything... One minute I was asleep, the next... I thought I heard a window breaking. Ashleigh’s on her way. More than that, I-I don’t know,” she shook her head slowly.

“What about you?” Katelyn asked, nodding toward Margaret’s feet.

“I’m fine. I cut myself up trying to get her out of the glass. She bit me twice,” Margaret chuckled weakly. “She’s never done this before.”

“Yes she has,” Katelyn answered softly. “I know about the pistol, Mrs. Cameron.” That was the first time Katelyn had ever called her ‘Mrs. Cameron’. She meant business.

“And she was screamin’ about cuttin’ off her boy bits,” LeAnn added softly. “Momma, we need to have a family conference once Ashleigh gets here. This can’t go on.”

“I... I agree,” Margaret whispered, barely holding it together. “I lost Ricky. I’m not losin’ Sarah too.”

~oOo~

Although Barbara Ketzowski was the first of the two therapists to arrive, with only a short drive from New Haven, Zoey promised, come hell or high water, to be there as soon as humanly possible. She hadn’t missed much, after all, as Sarah had been in surgery for several hours, and though stable, she remained in critical condition so visitors were barred from seeing her.

Barbara spent some time talking Margaret, Katelyn, and even the Joneses and Margie in the interim, not about any particular topic so much as trying to help each with their grief in her own, unique way. By the time Ashleigh and Zoey arrived, Kelly was just coming down the hall. She had by now changed out of her blood-stained scrubs and into a light pink short-sleeved set, with a long-sleeved undershirt.

“You two are here about Sarah too?” she asked. Zoey nodded.

“We’re her aunts. How is she?”

Kelly nodded toward the waiting room just off to the side. “This way. Everyone else is waiting inside.”

Margaret flinched as she stood, hobbling over to greet the two newcomers. She hugged Zoey first, then turned to Ashleigh with tears in her eyes.

“Thank you,” she whispered, if barely. Ashleigh shook her head.

“Let’s just hear what this nice young lady has to say, then we’ll talk, okay?” Though Ashleigh had been less than cordial toward Margaret in their past dealings, something seemed different about her tone this time. It almost sounded gentle.

Margaret nodded, turning her attention to Kelly.

“As some of you already know, Sarah was in bad shape when they brought her in. I’ve spoken with Jane Garrett, a personal friend of my and Robin’s families, but I’ll get to the details later. Right now, we need to talk about Sarah’s welfare.”

She paused to frown, scanning each face before continuing. “Physically, she’s in critical condition, but she is stable. The doctor’s keeping her sedated for the moment, but she lost so much blood that we had to give her a transfusion in the ER. She’s going to be very weak even without the sedatives, but we just can’t risk letting her wake up right now.”

“I saw the report,” Zoey admitted softly. “‘I want to cut it off, please, get it off’. That’s what she was screaming right?”

“Among other things,” Kelly responded. She and Zoey exchanged the kind of look that only two women in their unique position could really understand. “When she heard LeAnn’s voice she went ballistic and started screaming at us to get off her. It’s like she was terrified of us.”

“She must have been in shock,” Margaret whispered. “I truly don’t know what set her off like this. She seemed fine yesterday, then last night, all this.”

Kelly turned to push the door closed. “What I’m about to share with you all is privileged information. I’m asking you, for my sake and Sarah’s, not to repeat it.”

“Go ahead,” Ashleigh responded first, getting ready to go into lawyer mode.

“As some of you know, I’m post-operative transexual, myself. I’ve been EXACTLY where that little girl is right now. Something has to have set her off. It might have been something someone said, or even as simple as a bad dream, but speaking frankly? She can’t leave this hospital in her current mental condition.”

“She has a history of suicidal tendency anyway,” Zoey added. “This isn’t the first time she’s tried to kill herself, and I agree, it won’t be the last.” Zoey glanced at Barbara, who nodded.

Margaret frowned. “What can we do? We can’t simply lock her away. It would be worse than letting her...” she suddenly grew silent.

“Barbara and I have been conference over the phone while Ashleigh and I flew up here. Sarah is very young, but we’re in agreement that, if this continues, she won’t live to see her fourteenth birthday.”

“Which is why we’ve decided,” Barbara concluded, “That Gender reassignment surgery is Sarah’s best option, coupled with intensive therapy. I’ve already cleared much of my schedule, and transferred patients to others that I and my patients both trust, so that I can personally see to Sarah’s mental health.”

“And I’ll be damned if I’m letting her go it alone,” Zoey added, smiling faintly. “I’m shutting down my practice in Arkansas for awhile. Sarah needs help. GRS isn’t going to solve all her problems, and that’s a bridge she’s going to have to cross sooner or later, but it’s the only choice we have, unless any of you wants to sign off on her being fitted for a permanent straight jacket.”

Ashleigh carefully scanned the room at Zoey’s comment. Not one eye twitched, nor one hand moved, until Margaret, of all people, stood up on her tender feet and spoke.

“I made a promise to that little girl in that hospital bed right now, that I would make things right. I swore to her, I SWORE,” she sobbed, “That I would take care of her and make up for my mistakes with her, that I’d help her in any way that I can. If the choices are this surgery, a padded room, or … visiting her grave side, then as God as my witness, as her mother and her legal guardian, I’m giving my blessing without one shadow of doubt.”

Katelyn stood up and wrapped an arm around Margaret’s waist. “It’s what she needs. Hell, if she tells me she wants some distance, I’ll give it to her. I’d give her a kidney if it meant saving her life. Whatever it takes.”

“She’s still young,” Kelly reinforced, “But it’s the best chance she has.”

“We have some paperwork to attend to,” Barbara spoke softly, nodding to Zoey. Zoey smiled meekly.

“I may be considered too close to be objective,” she began, as she followed Barbara out. the older woman chuckled lightly.

“Honey, you know who my daughter is...”

Ashleigh turned to Margaret and approached. She took the woman by the arm, easing her back down again. “You should have your feet propped up.” She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. “I don’t say this often, and I don’t say it lightly, but I’m sorry. I misjudged you. When it came down to it, you literally tried to sacrifice yourself for her. According to the police report you wouldn’t accept medical help until after Sarah was airlifted?”

Margaret nodded solemnly. “My baby was dying. I didn’t care about myself at that moment. All I could think was ‘Please dear God, take me instead.’. She’s just so young. A-ashleigh... You’ve known Zoey awhile right?”

“I’ve known Zoey since before she was Zoey,” Ashleigh chuckled. “Why?”

“Is... Is she happy? Did this ‘fix’ her?”

Ashleigh shook her head slowly as she sat down beside Margaret, taking her hand. “There is no ‘fix’ that works 100%. Surgery is a stepping stone. It’s a reinforcement that her body is in proper alignment with her mind. It’s going to take a long time before she fully accepts herself as female, but one day, she’s going to come up to you, put her arms around your neck, and thank you for what you’re doing for her.”

“I hope so,” Margaret wept as she buried her face in her hands. “Dear God in heaven, I hope so. I can’t lose her.”

“How does it happen, anyway?”

Margaret blinked, staring up at Ashleigh. “How does what happen?”

“How does a little girl you barely know worm her way into your heart so fast, and so deep that you find yourself on a private jet at three in the morning, throwing out everything else just to sit in a hospital waiting lobby?”

Margaret managed a quiet laugh. “There but for the grace of God. I honestly don’t know.” She paused, smiling faintly. “Did Sarah ever tell you about her unicorns?”

“Zoey mentioned it to me. She said the poor girl smashed them on the advice of some closed-minded ass calling himself a doctor,” she sighed, irritated.

Margaret’s smile broadened just slightly. “I manged to save most of them. Some of them she destroyed, but she never could figure out why she couldn’t find the rest.”

“You didn’t,” Ashleigh cracked a smile.

“I did. I kept them in a box in my closet. I suppose I secretly hoped that one day she’d figure it out. She finally did when we were cleaning out the apartment. You should have seen the tears in her eyes. I was going to get her a shelf,” Margaret trailed off, starting to sob.

“Shh, I’ll have her room cleaned just as soon as CSI give the go-ahead. In the meantime, I want you to stay somewhere else. You don’t need to be in that house, and besides, Sarah’s probably going to be moved to New Haven just as soon as she can be.”

“Yes, you’re probably right. I need to be close by when she can have visitors.”

Zoey and Barbara appeared in the doorway barely a few moments later. Despite Barbara’s tendency toward a professional demeanor, the both of them were smiling. Zoey nodded to Barbara for her to share the news.

“We’ve spoken at length with Sarah’s doctors, and as soon as she’s stable, she’ll be transferred to St. Mary’s Children’s Hospital in New Haven.”

A woman with silvering blonde hair passed by the waiting room just as Katelyn was about to weigh in on the situation. She stood instead. “Excuse me a minute. I drank too much coffee.” She smiles sheepishly, quickly hurrying out of the room after the woman.

“Hey, Grams? What’s going on? What are you doing here?”

The woman smiled as she wrapped her arms around Katelyn, kissing her forehead softly. “I was just worried about you, sweetheart. I had heard you were pulled over three times on your way here. Is everything alright?”

“How did you...” she paused to shake her head. “Everything’s... getting better. I guess by now you’ve heard I’m dating a thirteen year old right? I mean who the hell hasn’t,” she sighed softly.

The woman smiled knowingly as she cupped Katelyn’s chin, raising it slightly so that their gazes would meet, but then with a certain sternness to her features, responded, “Age has no meaning when it comes to destiny, child.”

“Destiny, love, call it what you want, I don’t care what people say. I care about that girl. I hope she’s going to be okay. I-I mean, after all this is over. They’re moving her as soon as she’s stable enough.”

“Keep the faith, little one,” the woman answered, her gentle smile returning as she kissed Katelyn’s forehead once more. “These things have a way of working out if you keep the faith. Tell your mother I said hello when you see her?”

Katelyn smirked lightly, but nodded. “Okay Grams.” She paused, quickly correcting herself, “I mean, yes Ma’am.”

~oOo~

The next morning, around 10 a.m., Katelyn sat in the waiting room, quietly chatting with LeAnn about something altogether unimportant when Robin appeared in the doorway, giving a gentle knock. Katelyn leapt to her feet, racing over to pull her into a hug.

“Hi Katelyn,” Robin spoke softly. She looked like she had been crying, but she smiled just the same.

“Robin,” Katelyn replied as softly. “What are you doing here?”

“I came back as soon as I heard. I wanted to visit sooner, to let you guys know I was here, but I just couldn’t bring myself to. I was feeling guilty about abandoning Sarah.”

“Oh, sweetie you didn’t abandon her. You can’t stop being you any more than she can stop being her.”

“I know,” Robin answered, smiling a little more broadly. “Nikki’s grandma gave me some sound advice, and I’m okay now. How is Sarah, though?”

“Still out of it. They’re keeping her on a low sedative, and she’s on suicide watch. Do you want to go see her?”

“May I?” Robin asked, hopeful. Katelyn nodded.

“Just for a few minutes though. Doc says she needs to rest as much as possible. They’re going to transfer her to New Haven this afternoon, so you really came at a good time.”

Robin smiled as she leaned into Katelyn, hugging her lightly. “Thank you for taking my advice the way it was meant. You’re the last person I expected to see here, but I’m so relieved you’ve been taking care of her.”

“Um, yeah, about that... Robin we need to talk.”

“Okay, what about?” Robin asked curiously. Katelyn bit her lip. “Let’s step outside. I don’t want blood on the carpet.”

Robin gave her a sidelong glance, and Katelyn just shook her head. “Okay. There’s a small gazebo on the roof, off away from the helipad. Let’s head up there.”

Katelyn nodded, following Robin to the elevators. She held her silence the entire time, and even for a minute or two after they reached their destination. Robin sighed as she sat down, inhaling slowly.

“I love it up here. I met LeAnn for the first time here, and Kelly and I have shared a couple of deep talks up here. It’s the second closest thing I have to the little stream behind my house.”

“It’s nice,” Katelyn answered softly.

“So what’s on your mind?” Robin finally pressed the subject. Katelyn blushed.

“Robin, there’s no easy way for me to say this so I’ll just come out and tell you. Sarah and I … We’re dating.”

“Okay, I’m waiting for the punchline,” Robin answered sarcastically. Katelyn shook her head.

“No, I’m serious. I know it sounds crazy, but that day, when you called... We sort of bumped into each other at the mall afterwards. We exchanged some words, and I... I kissed her. I had no right to do it, but I did.”

“You’re damn right you had no right,” Robin raised her voice, perhaps for the first time in months. “Katelyn do you have any idea what that girl’s been through?”

“Wait, let me finish,” Katelyn begged. Robin sighed softly and nodded. “I kissed her because of what she said to me. In that moment, she let me have it. She chewed me up one side and down the other and just raged at me about her life, and I didn’t know how to respond. I had this... this poor girl who was feeling just as much pent-up frustration and anger at the world as I was. It was like listening to myself, only with different circumstances. After the kiss we went to the food court and we talked for awhile, then we went out for pizza and a movie with a couple of her new friends.”

Robin listened quietly as Katelyn caught her up to the happenings leading up to that day. She spared no detail, and when she finished, she hung her head.

“You have every right to hate me right now, but please, for Sarah’s sake, don’t let her see it. I’ve never asked you for anything Robin, you know that. But I’m begging you for this.”

Robin smiled faintly as she pulled Katelyn into a hug. “I don’t hate you. I’m not even upset anymore really. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for not giving you a chance to explain.”

Katelyn, stunned silent, just smiled quietly as she nuzzled into Robin’s shoulder. When she finally found her voice again, she looked up at Robin with tears in her eyes.

“There’s... There’s one other thing. Please, please don’t hate Sarah for this. It was my fault. I insisted on going with her to see Doctor Ketz. I insisted on being there with her when she went to her about getting on hormones. Sarah … said some things that I had no right to hear.”

Robin tilted her head slightly. She had already decided she wouldn’t make the same mistake twice in one day, so she just smiled reassuringly, waiting for Katelyn to finish. “Whatever it is, we can work through it.”

“Robin, she... she said that you’re ‘like her’.”

She blinked a couple of times, not sure how to react to that, so Katelyn took the initiative.

“Robin I’m crazy about her. I’ve never felt this way about anyone - not even you. I don’t care that she wasn’t born with the ‘right’ body. As far as I’m concerned she’s perfect the way she is. And so are you. You are, and have always been Robin Smith. My only regret is that you’ll probably never speak to me again.”

Robin continued to stare at Katelyn for several more seconds. Finally, she giggled.

“Well I knew someone from school would find out sooner or later. I can understand her situation. She was venting. That’s what therapists are there for. I have to ask you to please, please don’t repeat this to anyone, but since you already do know, I’ll tell you what I told Nikki’s grandma, about why I was out in the woods alone, trying to clear my head.”

“W-what’s that?” Katelyn asked.

“The reason I couldn’t come visit her sooner, the reason I felt like I abandoned her is because unlike me, she can never have what I have. That’s not fair to her.”

“What you have? I don’t... I don’t understand.”

“It’s what people like us call ‘stealth’. It literally means going undetected. I’ve talked with her about ways to stay stealth with people who don’t know her from the news, but there are still people who will, and it hurt so much knowing that I have that advantage over her. It’s been killing me inside, but now it’s... it’s a little better.”

“That must have been some talk,” Katelyn answered, smiling a little.

“Oh it was,” Robin managed a quiet laugh. “I don’t hate Sarah for telling you. I’m a little upset that it happened, but not at you or at her. Can I trust you never to tell anyone?”

“Robin, honey, after what Sarah’s just been through, I wouldn’t tell anyone even if you were my worst enemy.”

Robin smiled as she squeezed Katelyn close. “We’ll get through this. Me, you, and Sarah. We’ll get through this together. Can I ask you something though?”

Katelyn nodded. “Of course. Anything.”

“Why are they moving her to New Haven? Shouldn’t her getting better be reason to keep her here to recover?”

“It’s complicated,” she answered with a grim frown. “Sarah’s suicidal, Robin, and not just me, but everyone else including her own doctors, are convinced that if they let her go, she’s going to succeed next time. She almost did this time,” Katelyn whispered, her voice cracking as she broke into a sob.

“But they can’t just keep her hospitalized,” Robin gasped.

“No, they can’t. That would be as cruel as continuing to let her live with that body driving her to another suicide attempt. That’s why they’re going to do emergency surgery.”

“You mean THE surgery? She’s only thirteen!”

“There’s no other way,” Katelyn sobbed. “She needs to have ‘it’ removed. When they brought her in she was screaming for them to get off her so she could ‘cut it off’. Nobody’s figured out what set her off like this yet, and she’s not talking. They’re keeping her sedated so she doesn’t have the strength to try and make good on that wish.”

“Oh God,” Robin whispered.

“‘God’ may be the only one who can help her now,” Katelyn answered. “All we can do is support her and remind her that she’s loved. Let’s go see her before they start prepping her for transfer.”

Robin nodded as she stood, squeezing Katelyn’s hand. “In a way I envy her conviction, but... I’m just not ready for this step in my life yet.”

Katelyn smiled faintly. “Maybe not, but when your day does come, we’ll be by your side in the hospital to wish you well.”

“Thanks Katelyn,” Robin replied with a quiet smile as she held the door for her.

“No problem. That’s what friends are for,” Katelyn answered, stepping through.

---

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