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A drunk man stumbles into a mysterious portal after an argument with his mother. Just where has he ended up, and why is he female?

A Heavy Metal Fantasy

Part of A Year's Worth of Challenges, envisioned by Melanie E.

Week 36: Heavy Metal!

?????

I sat at a stool in the local bar, downing my latest drink. I raised it to the barkeep, signaling that I wanted more. As I looked my newest mug of fizzy yellow beer, I thought back on what had brought me here.

That morning, I stood in my garage, practicing some of my grappling on a life size dummy. It wasn't like I would ever need to use it, but it was fun and helped me blow off some steam. Today, however, my practice was interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone. I groaned as I heard the familiar tune of the Blue Oyster Cult's Veteran of a Thousand Psychic Wars. To me, it always seemed to signify impending doom... and that doom was my mother.

My name is Tom, and I moved out of my parent's home as soon as I was able. Four years have passed since that day, and I really was surprised that my Mom still called me.

I took the phone out of my pocket, letting it ring as long as humanly possible before answering.

“Hello, Mom,” I said, in a neutral tone.

“Hi, honey! How are you doing?” a cheerful voice called. I inwardly groaned.

“I'm doing fine,” I said.

“Are you sure? If you need any help--”

“I'm fine.” I said, more pointedly.

Silence ran down the line for a moment.

“Why do you keep doing this, Tom?” she asked.

“Maybe it was that look of hurt... that look of disappointment you and Dad gave me when I walked out of that door four years ago,” I said. Mom sighed.

“You're the one who chose to leave,” Mom stated. Her tone had sharpened.

“No,” I argued, “you were trying to push me out, and guess what? You succeeded! Why have you started calling me after so long?”

“Tom, your father and I were talking about you, and we've decided that it would be better for all of us if we were in each other’s lives again. If you've gotten over that habit--”

I interrupted her. “Habit? HABIT? You're still hung up over that, after four years? Let me tell you something, Mom. I haven't done that in four years! I stopped before I moved out, and I haven't done it since. Yet, you still judge me over it!”

“Tom, I--”

“No, Mom. Until you can look past that incident, this conversation is over.”

I hung up, almost ready to crush the phone.

It all started when I was out with some friends. My parents had discovered that I kept a stash of girl's clothing in the back of my closet; in a corner that I thought nobody would think to look in. When I got home, I was questioned, spanked, scolded... anything to get the “girl” out of me that my parents seemed to think existed. It didn't help my case to explain that I just liked the clothing. It was just a healthy curiosity, I told myself. Why not take a look at how the “other side” lived?

My parents didn't see it that way. Since then, I was shunned by my parents, even if they weren't obvious about it. I moved out two years later, on my eighteenth birthday. I had considered dressing again since, but I always see my parents just... staring me with those disappointed looks. It was fun to do it. It was like I had discovered another side of myself. I don't know how to describe the feeling of knowing that I could be two different people, at my own whims.

It was just... nice.

But that dream was over, now. I placed my phone back into my pocket and got into the car, aiming for the bar.

I sighed, holding the mug in my hand. I was probably drunk, but I wasn't sure just how much I cared about that. I downed the drink in one gulp, welcoming the dizzy sensation that signaled my troubles leaving me for just one night. The bartender took the mug, mumbling that I had enough to drink for one night. Probably. I got out of my stool, wobbling slightly. I must not have been too drunk if I could stand on my own. So, I just walked out of the bar, not minding that I couldn't see too well.

I walked down the street a ways, forgetting for a moment exactly where I was going. There was a bright light coming out of one of the alleys ahead of me. I wanted to get closer to it. I wanted to see it. As I reached the alley, the light became impossibly bright. I ventured inside, only to see it flash blue before being swallowed up by it.

?????

It was just a routine joyride. Ever since we found those oil fields, it was easy to find an excuse to fill one of the bikes up and go for it. We had plenty of fuel to go around, after all! The half dead fields of the Barkos Graveyard spread before me. Yellow grass surrounded me on all sides, the view only broken by the horizon. I revved the bike, rising up a few feet and nearly speeding up to Mach I.

It was then that I saw her.

A naked woman... lying face down in the middle of the wasteland. It was the most farfetched situation I had ever heard... until I remembered how I came to be a denizen of this world. She must have just arrived, I realized. Well, seeing as I was the only human around... I might as well rescue her. After all, there were much worse people she could meet with than me. I stopped near the body, making a quick check to make sure she was actually alive. I smiled when I turned her around and saw her chest slowly rise and fall. After placing her and a sheet on the bike, I got on myself, revved the engine, and started toward home.

?????

My eyes fluttered open, blinking rapidly. I groaned.

“I see you're awake!” A cheerful voice said.

Okay. I was awake now. I jumped up to a sitting position, letting out a small scream. It sounded wrong, but I wasn't worried about that quite yet.

“Wha... whe... where am I?” I cried out.

Someone grabbed my shoulder to hold me steady. “Don't worry, you're safe.”

It was the same voice as before. I turned to face her.

“My name's Melissa. What's yours?” she asked, with the same cheerful tone as before.

“...Tom,” I said. My voice still sounded strange. Was this the weirdest hangover ever or something? Melissa gave me a confused look.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked, with genuine concern.

“I'm not sure,” I said. “My body feels weird, my voice sounds weird, and I have no idea where I am.”

“Well, I can answer one question for you. You're in Ponadok Castle! We just call it PC for short. The other two... well, I'll leave you to figure that out for yourself,” Melissa explained.

“Ponadok... Castle...? Just where is that?”

Melissa seemed to hesitate for a moment, biting her lip. “Maybe... we should answer your other questions first?”

“I thought you could only answer one question,” I huffed, “And what the hell is wrong with my voice!”

Melissa sighed. “Just look down.”

I did. What I saw was definitely surprising. I was naked, except for the blanket covering me, and I was quite female. “Oh. That's new.”

I looked back up at Melissa to find that she was smiling. “Feeling like a comedian?”

I shook my head. “It's better than screaming.”

“It certainly is,” she agreed.

“So, do you know why I'm a girl now?” I asked.

“Well...” Melissa started, “we aren't on Earth anymore. Everybody who comes here gets gender-flipped.”

“Wait. We aren't on Earth!?” I exclaimed.

Melissa laughed, “Sorry. You are now a resident of Halmeria.”

“Is there any way back to Earth?” I asked.

“I'll explain that later. Why don't we get you some clothes first?” Melissa held out her hand, waiting for me to take it.

Soon enough, I was out of bed... with nothing but a sheet keeping my new body from the eyes of the outside world. Melissa led me through a few halls of the castle, and it looked very interesting. The entire thing seemed to be made entirely of metal! Melissa's heels clicked loudly through the echoing halls. Except for those heeled boots, she was wearing nothing but a bikini, made out of what appeared to be merely leather.

“You were really a guy?” I asked her, trying to make small talk.

“Yup,” she said.

“But... you seem so... well, natural,” I said.

She shrugged. “When you've been here as long as I have, you get used to it. Oh, turn left here, and we'll reach the storeroom.”

“Is this your castle?” I asked.

“Sort of. I just kind of stumbled upon it,” she said, not bothering to go into any further detail. I decided not to press it as she began rummaging through some boxes. “Say... do you know how to fight?”

“Um... sort of,” I said, taken aback by the sudden question.

“Ah. Then, maybe you ought to wear some armor,” she said, taking out another bikini and handing it to me.

“What is this? A chainmail bikini?” I asked, holding the outrageous garment.

“Yup. With matching boots!” Melissa answered, holding up a pair of boots nearly identical to her own.

“And this is armor? What's it supposed to protect? My virtue?”

Melissa smiled dreamily. “Well, there are those guys with laser penises...”

“Guys with laser WHATS?” I screamed, instinctively covering myself up. Melissa started laughing.

“I'm just kidding, Tom!” she cried, almost in tears.

“Melissa, are you joking around with the new girl?” A new, male, voice asked.

“Wait! David, don't come in yet!” Melissa cried.

“Oh? Have you scared the poor girl into remaining naked?” David asked.

“She's just a little slow, is all!” she said, not noticing the massive blush on my cheeks. She turned to me. “Maybe you should get dressed?”

“Are you sure you don't have something that covers a little more?” I pleaded.

“Sorry. If you want to leave, you're going to have to fight... and that armor will give you the best chances.”

“What? Less is more?”

“Exactly!”

“Fine,” I sighed, starting to put on the outfit. This world seemed completely backwards. Melissa whistled as I placed my feet into the boots.

“Looking good, sistah!” she cried out, “Oh, have you thought about a new name? I like Tammy!”

“Ugh. That sounds like a name someone ten years younger than me would have. How about Toni?” I replied.

“Good enough for me!” Melissa chimed, “Now, let's go meet David.”

I shrugged, noting how well the bikini managed to hold everything in. I felt like I was in some kind of dream, wearing something so made for women so well. Melissa led me back out of the room, where a man in a robe stood.

“So the guys are the ones who get to cover up in Halmeria?” I asked. “David” laughed.

“I'm afraid so. Might I ask your name?” he asked, taking my hand.

“Uh, Toni,” I answered, starting to blush from the contact.

“David. Pleased to meet you,” he replied, kissing the hand he held. Shivers ran down my arm. Good shivers.

“David!” Melissa scolded him, “Stop with the charm, already! You know that she isn't used to being a girl yet!”

David laughed wholeheartedly, “I just wanted her to experience some feminine feelings before she decided whether to suppress them or not.”

“Suppress them?” I asked.

David turned back toward me. “A lot of people don't like the idea of changing gender, so they attempt to suppress the 'foreign' feelings they experience as a result of the flip.”

“That sounds like it would be a horrible idea,” I observed.

“It is. I truly wouldn't recommend it,” he smiled.

“So,” I said, turning to Melissa, “you never answered my question of whether or not I can get back to Earth.”

“You're a quick one, aren't you?” Melissa asked.

I sighed. “You're still dodging the question. What's wrong?”

She sighed. “Well, it's just that there is a portal back to Earth on this world... but only one person has ever gone through it.”

“Is it at a hard to reach location?” I asked.

Melissa shook her head, “No. It's guarded by a Silver Metal Dragon. Only two people have survived facing it. One of them managed to escape to the wastelands near its cave, and the other is said to have reached Earth again.”

“Who was the one who made it?”

Melissa spread her arms out. “The man who once owned this castle. That's why I found it abandoned all those months ago.”

“Wow...” I said, “but wait! If you have this castle, why haven't you tried to escape yourself?”

“That's easy,” David chimed in, “neither of us are capable of taking on that dragon. We need help. Allies.”

“And that's why you asked me if I could fight,” I said. Melissa nodded.

“So, how well can the two of you fight?” I continued.

Melissa started first, taking out a pair of pistols. “I move quick and shoot quicker. These lasers usually get the job done, but if they don't, I just poke around with these daggers,” she said, taking out what appeared to be two hilts. She pressed a button for a moment and a curved blade of energy shot out of one of them. She turned it off and put her weapons back on her hips.

“I, myself, am what you would call a metalmancer. The air here is filled with particles of metal. Somehow, our bodies manage to filter it out, but I can use it to create metal objects out of the air,” David said, demonstrating by creating a sphere in his right hand. He threw it at me, watching as I twitched and caught it.

“Oh, this one's quick. She might be a good fighter, after all,” he said, turning to Melissa.

“But I don't have any weapons training,” I confessed.

“Hand to hand?” Melissa asked. I nodded. “Hmmm,” she continued, “I have an idea. Follow me.”

All I could do was shrug again and follow her through more of the castle. It was a little disconcerting to hear the clicks of both of our heels ring through the metal halls of the castle. She eventually opened a door to a room which felt like it was in the very center of the castle. It was a diamond shaped room, containing an altar in the center. A metal object appeared to float just above it, as if it were waiting to be taken. Melissa turned toward me.

“This is Xephros, the weapon of the legendary warrior who fought his way back to Earth. It appeared here a few days after I acquired the castle and began asking for a worthy successor to wield it. It won't allow David or I to take hold of it, but perhaps you might...”

“Why would it choose me if I have no fighting experience... at least, with a weapon?” I asked.

“It means you have a clear mind! Maybe it can teach you how to use it properly!” Melissa said, growing more excited.

I sighed. “Alright, I'll try to grab it.”

Melissa smiled and gave me a thumbs up as I walked forward, toward the center of the room.

“Those who are worthy of my knowledge and my power, step forward.”

Was this what Melissa meant when she said the sword started asking for someone?

“Those willing to fight for the right to wield me, step forward.”

I felt bolder as I reached the altar. I brought my arm forward.

“If you are ready to fight, take me!”

I took hold of Xephros, screaming as something seemed to rush into my head. Everything went black for a moment, then I found myself in an endless plane, occupied only by a large blue surface. A man in gleaming black armor stood some feet away from me, holding a blade of pure energy.

“Greetings, young one, and welcome to my realm,” the man said.

“Are you... Xephros?” I asked.

It felt like the man smiled, but a mask covered his face. “I am. I have deemed you, Toni, worthy of possessing my knowledge.”

“You wish for me to wield you in battle?” I asked, surprised.

Xephros laughed, slow and deep. “You are worthy of possessing my knowledge, but it remains to be said whether or not you may wield it.”

“Are you here to test me?”

Xephros raised his blade. “Draw your weapon. If you can defeat me, you will be returned to your natural state.”

“And if I can't...?” I asked.

“You will die.”

At the threat to my life, my arm instinctively raised up, raising a sword that I just realized I had in front of me. Xephros rushed forward, aiming to cut me in two. But... I somehow knew how to parry the blow. I let his blade graze mine as I pushed against it and used his weight to shift to my left side. I brought my blade down for a slash of my own, but he parried mine just as easily. I jumped backwards.

“You're grasping your new knowledge quickly,” Xephros commented. I didn't have time to reply as he rushed forward again, our blades locking together . I slid my blade down his, aiming to twist his wrist, but he saw through my movement and pushed me away. This time, I took the offensive, rushing forward and aiming for his legs. He barely jumped out of the way of my quick movement.

As we continued to strike back and forth, it became obvious that neither of us had an advantage over the other. I knew everything that Xephros knew, and he knew it better. It was only a matter of time before I made a mistake.

It was then that I realized what I was missing. I knew everything that Xephros knew, but Xephros didn't know everything that I knew! If I could get close enough, I could throw him down and deal a finishing blow. Both of us jumped backwards as I realized this.

“You've lasted a long time,” Xephros said.

I smiled. “Well, I don't intend to die here today!”

I rushed forward, swinging my blade so that he would be forced to block it. Meanwhile, I swung myself between our blades and his legs and grabbed his sword arm with my left arm. I twisted his wrist, used his weight to swing myself near his back, and kicked him down with all of my might. With a flourish, I stabbed his exposed back, breathing heavily. I relaxed before getting up, training my blade on him once again when he stirred.

“Very good,” he said, “you've realized that my knowledge alone will not win your battles. You are worthy.”

“Thank you,” I said, relaxing my stance. Somehow, I felt like I needed to thank him.

“I will be with you in your travels. Now, go...”

A dizzying sensation came over me as I suddenly found myself back in the castle, with Melissa hovering over me.

“Are you okay?” she asked, “You look as if you've fought a psychic war or something.”

“Ugh,” I said, rubbing my head, “just one war? It feels like I've fought a thousand.”

“So......” Melissa started.

“Xephros is letting me wield him,” I answered.

“Letting you?”

I stood up. “Yeah. He imparted his knowledge of sword-fighting to me.”

Melissa smiled. “Great!”

“So, what's next?” I asked.

“Well, first, you look like you need some rest. Tomorrow, we'll set off toward the Dragon's Cave,” she answered.

“How are we going to get there?”

Melissa laughed. “You’ll see.”

I groaned. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

The Next Day

I woke up to the morning lights, streaming through the window in my room. Slipping out of the nightgown Melissa saw fit to give me, I got back into my armor and secured Xephros on my hip. As I reached for the door, it opened to reveal Melissa.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” she said.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“Nah,” she said, “I just didn’t want you to miss this.”

I was almost afraid to ask. “Miss what?”

“How we’re going to get to the cave, of course! Come on, let’s go to the courtyard!”

I once again found myself being pulled by the arm as Melissa led me through more halls of Ponadok Castle. After a minute or two, we were outside, standing on what looked like some kind of balcony. It was high enough that the fall to the ground would definitely be fatal. Near the door we stepped through were two vehicles that looked sort of like bikes. I decided not to question Melissa about it. The two of us walked to David, who was standing near the edge of the area. His robes looked more silvery, providing a contrast to his black hair and young features. He turned around as we reached him.

“I see that our newest ally is awake,” he observed, smiling at me. I couldn’t help but smile back. Melissa tapped her foot on the ground.

“David, didn’t I already warn you about the charm?” she asked.

“Now, now. Whoever said that I was charming the poor girl?”

“That goofy smile on her face might be an indication.

I interrupted. “Are you two always like this?”

Melissa nodded while David shook his head. I sighed.

“So… what was I going to miss if I slept in?” I asked Melissa.

Melissa raised her arms in the air. “This!”

“I was going to miss being on this balcony?”

“Courtyard!”

“Okay, fine, courtyard. So that was what you were so excited about?”

Melissa shook her head. “No. Wait a sec.”

Suddenly, the entire castle shook under us. A voice boomed above us.

“Initiating Castle Transportation Protocol!”

“Castle Transportation what…?” I managed to ask. Then, we went up. Or, rather, the castle went up!

“This castle can fly?” I yelled. Melissa laughed.

“Of course it can! There aren’t many things that don’t fly in Halmeria,” she said.

“Wow.”

“Now, don’t you feel lucky that you ended up in Melissa’s hands?” David asked.

I turned around. “Is that a trick question?”

David burst out laughing. “Well, would you look at that. She’s learning!”

When Melissa joined in, too, I couldn’t help but laugh as well. As we calmed down, I looked over the balcony to the world of Halmeria. We were flying over what looked like a large wasteland, surrounded by mountains. Melissa walked up to me.

“Wondering where all the civilization is?” she asked.

“Sort of,” I answered, finally figuring out what was wrong with the picture.

“It’s all beyond these mountains,” she explained, “I would be there too, but I really don’t fit in with the city crowd. These wastelands are the way they are because of that dragon. He doesn’t seem to like people trying to settle down in his territory.”

“Will he attack us at the castle, then?” I asked.

“He doesn’t attack people who seem to be just passing through,” she continued.

“What about when he realizes that we’re heading directly toward his cave?”

Melissa shrugged. “We’ve never gotten that close. If he knows we’re going inside, he might wait for us.”

“I hope so,” I said, “I’d hate for this castle to get destroyed because of us. Say… where is everybody else in the castle?”

“I told them to keep their heads down. They aren’t fighters. They’re just the staff.”

I laughed. “You hired staff?”

“What? Do you expect me to clean a castle this big by myself?” Melissa laughed back.

“Touché.”

“I’ve already rebuilt the ‘chain of command’, if you will, for when I’m gone. Everything will be fine out here!” she added.

“You really know how to plan ahead,” I said.

“You know it!”

“Despite her bubbily exterior, she really is quite intelligent,” David chimed in, finally entering the conversation. I jumped.

“Woah! Where’d you come from?”

David pointed behind him. “Over there.”

“Oh, thanks,” I said, almost groaning at his sarcasm.

“Melissa, have you told her about your boots?” he asked, as if it were somehow important.

“Speaking of that,” I said, “I do find it odd that I can move around so well in them. They’re quite tall.”

Melissa smiled. “That’s simple. The boots use nanotechnology to help us keep our balance. But, what’s really special about them are the rockets built into the heels. Just tap the boots together to activate them, and don’t dash off the balcony!”

“I didn’t plan to. So if we use this right, we can move around efficiently?” I asked.

“You have the right idea,” David said, “men tend to wear heavy armor plating, and you women can run circles around them with those boots.”

I turned toward Melissa, “Oh, so the ‘less is more’ principle only applies to women?”

“Of course! How else are the men going to get their eye candy?” Melissa teased.

Suddenly, an explosion knocked all three of us to the ground. I looked in that direction to see the charred remains of the bikes before hopping to my feet. Above us, three bikes circled above, holding armored men. Melissa scowled.

“Of all the—It’s Gon. He and his two lackeys seem to like causing trouble for anything flying. He probably wants this castle.”

Xephros was already in my hand. We watched as the bikes touched down on the courtyard. The three men stood up and walked toward us.

“What are you doing here?” Melissa demanded of the largest man, wearing blue armor. All three of the men’s faces were covered.

“I like this castle,” the large man, who I assumed was Gon, said.

David put his hand on his forehead. “Such a simple mind.”

The man to Gon’s right, wearing green, stepped toward him. “Name’s Don. Maybe you’ll find me to be smart enough for your needs?”

David produced a steel spike. “I’m afraid not.”

“Gon, you may like this castle, but you aren’t going to get it,” Melissa said, walking toward Gon with her guns in hand. The third man, wearing orange, leapt forward and kicked her out of the way.

“If you’re going to attack our Gon, you’re going to have to go through Jon!” he yelled in a scraggily voice.

I was the only one who wasn’t being attacked, but that seemed to be about to change.

“You’re mine, pretty one,” Gon yelled, lunging at me with a spear. I activated Xephros, dodged his lunge, and deliberately grazed his armor.

“You’re going to have to try harder than that to catch me,” I teased.

Gon roared. “Nobody touches my armor!” He lunged forward again, faster this time. I took the impact, sliding back several feet. His spear and Xephros were locked together for a moment. I clicked my heels together and flew backwards. I then took the offensive myself, dashing at the man and running around him. He retaliated by swinging his spear in a circle, catching my legs. I crashed to the ground, rolling to narrowly avoid the point of his spear as it aimed for my head.

Back on my feet, I looked around for a momenta. Both Melissa and David were locked in their own battles. I wouldn’t get any help on this one. I did, however, notice that all of us were near the edge of the courtyard… and my back was to it. I readied Xephros again.

“I heard you were tough,” I taunted, “so why is it you can’t defeat a single girl?”

I gave him a crooked smile as he roared again. I once again took the impact, coming dangerously close to falling off. With our weapons once again locked, I made my move. I jumped up, leaping¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ off of his spear, and clicked my heels, landing behind him.

Melissa

I cursed as I flew across the courtyard. Stupid idiot! Well, Toni had better be able to hold her own against Gon. It looked like this Jon fellow wasn’t going to get out of my way.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than kick girls around?” I asked.

Jon laughed. “Well, sometimes I think I’d rather shoot them!”

He pulled out a gun, but I was faster. I boosted to the right, dodging the laser he sent my way. With a skillful shot, I shot the gun he was holding, sending it flying from his hand. I smiled. Jon looked my way once he noticed his gun was missing.

“Oh, so you think you’re a crack shot, huh? Well, try this!” he yelled, jumping toward me. I knew this was coming, and already had a dagger ready. I ducked under him and dug the blade into his leg. He screamed and hit the ground, hard. I took the opportunity to look around the area. Toni was in a bladelock with Gon. She seemed to be holding her own pretty well. David, however, was just toying with his opponent. That guy… Don, I think it was… didn’t stand a chance. I looked back to Jon, who had managed to stand up. Blood began to leak from the wound in his thigh. I smiled at him.

“Are you ready to give up, or do I have to decorate your other leg?” I taunted. I started to walk forward, brandishing a gun and a dagger at him. He tried to pull out another gun, but a laser tore through his hand before he finished the thought. Soon, his back was to the edge of the courtyard. I lifted my leg up and prepared to kick.

David

The spike I held in my hand was pretty lightweight. It wouldn’t pierce this Don’s armor, but it would be fun to see him dodge it. I held it for a moment longer, waiting for him to make the first move. He didn’t waste any time speaking, instead coming forward with a rather crude gun. It looked to have been made on Earth. He tried to fire shots at me, but I created a shield to block them. Ordinary bullets couldn’t penetrate my metal constructs. Lasers couldn’t, either, if I created them right.

I dropped the shield, tossing a few spikes at Don’s feet. He danced quite nicely, then slipped over one of them as they rolled across the floor. Looking to my left, I saw Toni battling Gon and Melissa standing over her downed foe. I walked toward my own, watching as he scrambled backwards. Oh, we he scared of me? I knelt down and lifted him by his helmet.

“Are we done fighting, now?” I asked. He then did something clever. He pulled another gun out, pointing it at my chest. I sighed.

“Not so cocky now, are you?” he said. He was probably smiling underneath that helmet of his.

“Oh, I do implore you. Go ahead and shoot. It’s not like that dinky little thing can hurt me anyway,” I said. I always fought with an improvised suit of armor plating. A bullet would hurt… but I could finish him off while he was wondering while I wasn’t dead yet. Oddly enough, he didn’t shoot. Perhaps he figured out that I was protected. Oh well. When he put his gun down, defeated, I walked him to the edge of the courtyard and lifted him higher.

Toni

“Get out of our castle!” all three of us yelled, kicking and throwing our opponents off of the courtyard. I put Xephros back on my hip and looked as our opponents fell toward their ground. Their bikes swooped down to rescue them, but promptly fell to the ground. I looked up to see Melissa holding what looked like a detonator.

“What did you do to their bikes?” I asked.

“I just planted a little something something on them that will prevent them from flying for a while. We’ll be long gone before they have a chance to come back,” Melissa said.

“Very smart. Well done,” David commented.

“Thanks,” Melissa said. “Now, look over there. That’s the cave we’re looking for.”

At the edge of the wasteland surrounded by mountains, a cave lay carved into the side of the largest one. I would have guessed that it was a volcano, but the peak was obviously a peak, so I wasn’t so sure.

“So we’re almost there,” I said.

“Indeed,” David said, “It will be good to be back home.”

“Even with the technology we’ve found here?” I asked.

“Sure, we’ll miss it,” Melissa said, “but David’s right. Home is where the heart is.”

I smiled. “I can live with that. Let’s go home… together.”

“Yes,” David said.

“Definitely,” Melissa added.

The three of us stood near the edge of the courtyard, watching as the entrance of the cave slowly became closer and larger. The castle stopped near a cliff overlooking the cave, just far enough for us to jump off. As we landed on the cliff, Melissa waved toward the castle. It began to fly away, leaving us alone at the mouth of the cave.

“Well, are we ready?” Melissa asked. David and I nodded, and we walked inside.

Surprisingly, the cave was lit with torches the entire way through. Either our Dragon was a good housekeeper, or someone had definitely been here before. I suspected that it was the second option. Through what seemed like miles of twisting passages, nothing came out to scare or attack us. No bats, no giant spiders, no anything.

“This place seems awfully empty. Are we sure we’re in the right place?” I asked.

“Don’t worry. We’re in the right place,” Melissa assured me. I decided to take her at her word.

A few minutes later, the cave began to widen. Eventually, we reached a large clearing, and at the center of it… sat a large dragon. His scales seemed to be made of gleaming silver metal, and there appeared to be two large guns hoisted on its back. I shuddered to think of what would happen if those fired at us. Melissa started to take out a gun, but I held my hand out and stopped her.

“Wait,” I said, “let’s not be hasty here. If he wanted us dead, he could have done it long ago.”

“What do you mean?” Melissa asked, incredulous.

“Ask yourself this. What kind of defender lets someone reach what they’re defending so easily? He might not wish to fight us,” I said.

“You think that it wishes to talk,” David stated.

“Yes,” I said. At my word, the Dragon began to stir.

“Welcome, humans. I am Zaron, last of the Silver Metal Dragons. What brings you to my sanctum?” he said, surprising us all with his clarity.

I stepped up. “We have been led to believe that a way back to Earth lies at the end of this cave, and we would like to return home.”

Zaron stood up, showing himself to be much taller than he originally seemed. “You humans are strange, much like the last one who stood up to me. He too chose not to instigate conflict, but instead seek conversation. His purpose was the same as yours, as well.”

“Please, tell us. Are you presiding over a path back to Earth?” I asked.

“Yes, I am,” Zaron said. “If you wish to return to your home, you must first be tested.”

“Tested how?” David asked.

As if to answer his question, two men and a woman began walking up to us. They were too far away to recognize just yet.

“These figures are the people you once were. The forms you resided in before journeying to this world. What you do with them is up to you, but it will decide your fate.”

I didn’t want to believe him, but he was right. The figures stopped a few feet in front of us, and my male form… Tom… was standing in front of me. Melissa seemed shocked by the situation as well, while David seemed to be smiling.

“What in the world is going on?” Melissa demanded.

“I think he is asking us to choose,” David said, “who do we wish to return to Earth as… if at all?”

“No…” I said, “that’s not the choice we’re making, exactly. I think that if we send these shadows to Earth in our stead, they will take over our old lives on Earth while allowing us to stay here.”

“But... after all this time, he almost seems like a completely different person from me,” Melissa said.

I smiled, “I think that’s the idea. We all wandered here for a reason. That’s why we all switched genders. David, you were always somewhat masculine, even as a woman. Melissa, you and I were always somewhat feminine, even as men. We all were kind of ‘in between’ the genders. All we’ve been doing while we’re here is living as our other sides!”

“You mean…” Melissa started.

“Yes,” David said, “The ‘us’ standing on this side and the ‘us’ standing on that side… they’re both the same.”

I began to walk toward my other side. “So, we can send this shadow back and live here. We can go back and leave the shadows here, abandoning Earth forever. Or… we can join with ourselves and make the final choice.”

“Yes… that’s right,” Melissa said, starting to walk forward herself. David was following her example. I continued to walk forward until I walked into my other side. A bright light overwhelmed me for a moment… but I found myself standing in front of the dragon once again. I was still female. I looked to my left and to my right, finding that both Melissa and David had switched back to their original genders. Melissa was looking at me funny.

“Why aren’t you a guy?” she asked.

I smiled. “I guess this is who I always was.”

“Very good,” Zaron said, making his presence known again, “you have passed my test, and can be allowed to return home. The forms you now inhabit are the forms you will return as. Good luck with your lives in Earth.”

Zaron stepped aside, revealing a shining portal behind him. I faintly remembered something like this enveloping me during a certain drunken escapade.

I smiled, took the hands of my friends, and stepped through the portal.

The End

Fun Facts!

• This story was inspired, obviously, by the movie Heavy Metal. However, it was inspired in the sense that I purposely avoided including prominent themes :).
• The party was originally going to actually fight Zaron at the end of the story, but I decided not to include another battle scene so soon after Gon and company. I like this ending better, anyway.
• For the record, there were chainmail bikinis, dragons, and those guns on Zaron's back? Definitely lasers.
• There were two obvious references to the Blue Oyster Cult's Veteran of a Thousand Psychic Wars. Rasufelle asked for a reference or two, after all.
• The fight scene with Gon and company was a giant experiment. Did it work out, having all three perspectives come back together at a single point like that?

Lastly, please comment! Whether this is a smashing example of literary prowess or the worst thing you've ever read, I'd like to hear what you think of it :)

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