I Am Not A Girl -1

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I am Not a Girl

Chapter 1 Digging Deeper



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I don’t look like a girl! Do I? Alex asked his mirror.

Alex Winslow through medical circumstances that determined his condition did contribute to what happened to him. It was his parent’s refusal to act on medical advice and Alex’s reactions that made things progressively worse.

The setting, though vague in the story is in southeastern Iowa. The family had moved from an Iowa suburb of Omaha, Nebraska to a small village of five thousand or less in the farm belt. The move had nothing to do with the boy’s condition.

Rights reserved by author, permission granted to Big Closet
Revised with professional editor.

~o~O~o~


Chapter 1 Digging Deeper

“I don’t look like a girl.“ At least that is what Alex keeps telling himself. He ignores what the evidence might suggest. At seventeen having recently moved to a new town on the other side of Iowa, he can start again. At five foot six inches tall with a slender build he is the right size for a girl. It does not help that his chestnut brown hair is long for a boy. His locks stop as they brush the top of his shoulders while framing his face. Perhaps it is the feminine style feathered gently as soft bangs caress his brow. The bangs nearly hide the trimmed mild arch of a brown thin ribbon of delicate lashes. It is this style that may have encouraged the teasing he received. He says it bothers him every time a passing citizen or sales clerk calls him miss. He does not question his refusal to get a more masculine cut?

It bothered him every time other students teased him. It bothered him when he found puffy growth on his chest. It bothered him when he did not to grow. It bothered him a lot to the extent he could not wait to escape to a new town. He discovered his chest hairs were falling out.

Alex looks into the mirror as he adjusts his heart shaped gold earrings. Yes in the plural they are a pair. He did that as a reaction to the teasing at his last school. To his way of thinking try as he might he could not change their behavior. As he stood in front of the mirror he thought, ‘ok I will give them something to rant about.’ He succeeded with his rash action because his situation became worse. The teasing increased compounding the lad’s misery. Fortunately, he escaped the urban jungle to a rural conservative village of less than five thousand. Alex questioned if this may not be worse considering what he had heard about the Bible Belt. How different could it be from what he faced at home? His parents were Fundamentalists believing everything was according to the Lord’s plan.

That may explain just why his parents decided to forgo treatment for Alex’s condition. He suffered from gynecomastia having a perfectly formed pair of 32A breast. They were exactly where you would expect them to be. The doctor explained in brief when his father demanded to know. Norman pressed the issue, “just what is going on?”

Doctor Grant explained in a clinical voice. “The condition can occur physiologically in neonates and caused in part by female hormones in the mother. It can occur rarely in adolescence and in the elderly. Both in adolescence and elderly it is an abnormal condition associated with disease or metabolic disorders. In adolescent boys the condition is often a source of distress. For the large majority of boys whose pubescent gynecomastia is not due to obesity, the breast development shrinks or disappears within a couple of years.”

Norman Winslow processed this information from Dr. Grant. He focused on one phrase. “The breast development shrinks or disappears within a couple of years.” To Norman this meant the Lord was testing his son. The church elder understood Alex must bear this cross to emerge a stronger person. Gladys Winslow, Alex’s mother was not so sure but she knew her role was to support her husband. She always had been a good wife. She asked herself, ‘when did being a good wife become a conflict with being a good mother?’

The doctor ran tests to determine there was an elevation in estrogen and a lower than normal testosterone. His recommendation was to treat with injections of the latter.
Alex’s parents objected claiming that the Lord will heal their son. Dr. Grant hesitated to challenge the parents. He heard this reaction often from people in this area. The Doctor agreed to nothing and monitor. He advised the parents that if the situation worsened they would have to allow treatment or face possible state intervention. Doctor Grant provided a medical exemption to excuse participation in gym for Alex. The doctor knew full well the harassment the boy would face. He did not tell them was if left untreated Alex could actually begin to lactate. That is in the extreme and not likely. Perhaps he should have, the fear alone may have panicked the family into accepting treatment.

Doctor Grant thought that unlikely. He believed close monitoring of the hormone levels would reveal what was going on. He expected that once Alex began late puberty the breasts would shrink. The parents refusal of hormonal treatment would merely slow the process down. He saw no immediate danger to the lad.

Alex had tired of repeatedly having to correct people. When he did they’d acted like the perceived girl was trying to play head games. Some in his old neighborhood thought he was a dyke. Most often they relied on various forms of name calling. Torment came physically in the form of the accidental bump in the shoulder as he walked the hall. They applied just enough force to spin him around Alex had no girl friend nor was his group of friends very expansive. He joined the reject group encouraging his fading further into the background.

His parents pressed him to become active in school clubs, groups and gatherings. There was little open to him as his passion was art. He had no desire to participate in band, chest club or some other, as he called it, lame activity. The years of high school had become pure torment. The boy had no difficulty accepting the transfer to the thinly populated part of the state. He had no intent to join any groups in the new school.

Alex had decided to go with the flow. If they wanted to think he was a girl, it would be fine with him. He adopted the attitude it could not get any worse. His big problem continued to be his abnormal breast. They were not the easiest feature to hide. The advantage was his small cup size revealed nothing notable unless someone looked close. This was an option he discouraged. Alex discovered they were enjoyable when he was alone. We will not go into that now. The doctor strongly advised against strapping them down to hide the minor ridge formed on his chest. Then again Doc Grant did not have to suffer the slings and arrows advice is cheap. He did suggest a bra. Alex’s father balked again bringing up the Lord. His mother uncharacteristically said “the Lord never had to carry them around. Besides if the Lord gave these to Alex why would he object to use of the garment designed to ease the burden?”

Mother, urged her son to wear a bra. Alex resisted as he believed doing such would make them stand out exacerbating the problem. At some level it would be an acceptance, an admission of defeat. He was not going to fight the “I am a male” battle again in his new school. He did not want to encourage or re-enforce the perception he was a girl either. Doctor Grant stated at their present size having support was not crucial. He did warn of serious consequences if they grew larger. The Doctor could not insist on surgery until he found the underlying cause. He chose a treatment regimen consisting of quarterly exams. The next one scheduled during Christmas break. Alex appeared to Doctor Grant as a confused boy who looked like a girl. He claimed to resent it. his actions encourage a feminine appearance. It was a classic case of denial. Grudgingly the physician accepted the parent’s Bible belt norms and waited for his expected crisis.

Alex agonized over the condition of his clothing. His narrow waist required rather small size jeans. The smaller jeans would not fit over his larger hips. Jeans that fit his hips were too long and loose at the waste. He solved this by tightening his belt and rolling his pant legs up. It added to his problem caused by his abnormal breasts. The solution was to wear large tee shirts though he really needed size medium. They had to be the Hanes Beefy style to hide his feminine chest. Wearing this combination did not completely conceal his secret completely but it was all he could manage. The look was not exactly high school chic. Tee shirts and jeans were the official uniform of the farm belt. The extra sized tee shirt worn tucked into the jeans helped cushion the strangle hold of the belt.

Gladys had long given up fighting with the boy when it came to buying clothes. She knew Alex would only wear jeans, tees and sneakers. She simply handed him some cash and dropped him at Wal-Mart. Money was tight and jeans are jeans according to Gladys. Alex relaxed when he considered his older sister Jamie was away at college. What soothed his concern was that his mother had not suggested he borrow some of her left behind clothing. He had a secret fear mom would bring that up. She never had. That was because of her narrow religious ideals. He noticed her glances when she saw a cute skirt or dress. He saw how she would gaze at him. ‘Oh no” he moaned thinking ‘we are not going there.’ Inside the store he stood in the men’s department holding up a size 28 waist 30 length pair of jeans. A girl startled him when she spoke. A sales girl approached, “miss those men’s Jeans will never work.” Alex blinked, “what?”

The girl offered her assessment. "To fit your hips the waist will be too big. I'm afraid the length will be way off." She introduced herself. “I’m Kathy a senior at the high school. You are new aren’t you?” Alex takes a breath. “Yes, a senior as well, my name is Alex.” “You look like a size six come on over here.” She walked to the misses department, “Petit correct?”

Alex smiled uncertain. She handed him a pair of jeans without any frilly design. Just a straight styled pair of Lady Wranglers. “Try these we have them in skinny if you prefer.”

Sheepishly Alex took the proffered jeans and stepped into the changing room. It was amazing how they formed to his hips while fitting perfectly at the waist. The length was exact as well.

Alex stepped out to see a beaming Kathy. “Perfect. You see I was right. With your figure you need to accent it. What about tops?”

Alex shook his head, “tees, white preferably.”

Kathy eyed him shaking her head. “We can do better than that.” She handed him a white soft combed cotton turtle neck.

Alex eyed it suspiciously. “I like them loose.”

Kathy handed him the next size up. “That will still hang right and be rather loose.” She eyed him carefully. “If you don’t mind it will not show of your,” she giggled. “You know.”

Alex smiled, “that’s ok. I go for comfort.” He selected several pairs of jeans kept the turtle neck adding a second in powder blue. Kathy also convinced him to buy two chamois shirts to wear unbuttoned over the turtle necks during cold weather. She commented. “Chamois is softer than flannel but offer the same look. Even the guys are wearing them.”

The buttons were on the wrong side he noted considering ‘I can wear them just like a flannel and they will highlight the turtle neck.’ Kathy helped him find a pair of white sneakers that were just the right fit. He then slipped back to the men’s department to grab three packages of those beefy tees. It wasn’t until he got home that he discovered those sneakers had a tiny almost unnoticeable pink stripe. It covered the strip where the shoe met the sole.

Gladys identified the jeans as girls but she pretended not to notice preferring not to bring the subject up. At the breakfast table Norman, his father smiled noting Alex managed to find some jeans that were a decent fit. The boy simply commented “Wal-Mart must have found a new supplier.”

Mom laughed inwardly not wanting to bring attention to the fact they were girls jeans. She did not want to test father’s ire, nor embarrass her son. Alex would do that on his own before the meal ended though the woman did not know that.

Norman finally broke what had become an extended silence. When he said, “Alex you should get your hair cut.”

Alex turned away looking toward the window. “I like it the way it is. I am thinking of growing it out”

Norman pressed, “you wonder why they call you a girl. Those earrings, that haircut, you bring this on yourself.” The man said impatiently.

Alex was doing a slow burn and did not want to prolong this argument any more. He was sick of it. He excused himself from the table going upstairs. He could hear his mother trying to calm his father down. Then Alex did something perhaps he should not have. He entered his sister’s room with the thought. ‘I will show him.’

Ever since Alex had returned from Wal-Mart the hormones engaged the lust gene. As he stood in his sister’s room his thoughts took a turn. Alex had envisioned Kathy while he massaged his male attribute. The small organ produced nothing. He could clearly see the pretty girl in his mind but there was no stimulus. It was when he fondled his chest the unexpected large deposit occurred creating considerable clean up time.

It did not take very long to locate a pair of short denim bibbed shorts designed that way. As some girls did Jami had not cut off a pair of standard bib overalls. She had purchased a girls bibbed overall shorts set with a matching light blue denim top. Alex quickly dressed in Jami’s outfit. He went so far as to include a pair of her white nylon panties. In the mirror he could see a girl wearing a three quarter sleeved blue top and a small unseen white bra with the overalls.

Dressed in his sister’s clothes he stepped into the kitchen. The bib straps and bra accented his obvious chest making it clear this was a profile of an attractive girl. “If I wanted to encourage them Dad, emphasizing Dad,” Alex began, “I would show off these.” He pointed to his undeniable chest. “It is not the hair dad, nor the earrings, it’s these. You want me to show you without the shirt?”

Norman’s brows shot up in surprise as he gazed at his son speechless. He tried to conceal his rage at the boy threatening to bare his breast. Norman crossed himself. Gladys thought, ‘he is beautiful.’

Alex’s father finally managed to speak. “You look ridiculous get out of that outfit.”

The boy stepped back having made his point. As it often goes with adolescents they continue to press when they don't have to. Events spiral downward when those raging hormones are in control. This time the hormones directed anger. “Dad this is the Lord’s will. He gave me this figure why should I hide it?” Norman’s eyes signaled danger and Gladys rested her hands on Alex’s shoulders and turned him to face the stairs. In a soft controlled voice she said, “go change.” Alex froze at the bottom step not moving. Anger certainly controlled his action. Alex being passive aggressive could not openly challenge but he could not yield submissively either. The boy looked at his father replying. “I need to go for a walk first.”

He found himself traveling toward the village over residential sidewalks with no destination in mind. A young man driving an older convertible slowed, gazed at Alex, smiled and waved as he drove off. Alex barely noticed head down with slowing steps compared to the speed he stormed out the house. There were several guys throwing a football in a vacant lot at Alex approached.

Suddenly the errant throw by a tall dark haired fellow landed on the sidewalk. It bounced once hitting Alex’s foot glancing up nearly hitting Alex in the face. Good reflexes allowed the boy to catch it. Alex examined the ball in his hand and smiled about the time he heard a voice call. “Sorry it got away. Throw it back will you?”

Alex looked at the dark haired six foot plus guy noting his friends smiling at him. With a classic almost perfect spiral Alex’s toss landed cradled in the guy’s hands. “There you go.” Alex called before turning to cross the street.

Jake flipped the football from one hand to the other as he watched Alex cross the street. He focused on those perfect legs exposed by the shorts. Each step Alex took caused more stares focused by several faces. Jake marveled at the perfect chestnut hair he simply starred speechless. He suddenly dropped the football resulting from an unexpected poke in the back. “So you aren’t going after her following your perfectly faked bad throw?” Pete’s voice needled him as the guys started to echo the question.

Alex reached the other side of the street turning toward the direction of his home. He had walked enough to mollify his temper. “Hey” called a voice Alex heard from behind. Alex turned to see someone gaining on him. He thought, ‘shit not in town but a few days and the bull shit starts.’ He stopped facing the expectant bully, “yeah?”

Jake looked at Alex with an odd combination of bashfulness and confidence. This was not at all what Alex expected. Jake extends his hand, “I’m Jake captain of the football team. That was a hell throw you made.”

Surprised, Alex smiles, “thanks but I was just lucky.” Alex considers ‘I will try to cut this short don’t want to antagonize.’

Taking his time to release Alex’s hand allowed Jake’s friends to catch up. Jake introduces his friends. “This is Pete, Max and Ugh.” The third boy offered a grimace. Alex laughs though he thought. ‘I should not have done that.’ Alex simply smiles dreading what comes next. Jake speaks again. “You did not tell me your name new kid in town.”

Alex laughs repeating “the new kid in town?” In an attempt to deflect the attention from himself he asks, “why do you call him Ugh?” He pointed to the house sized guy. Pete interjects, “he is our linebacker everything he says comes out sounding like an ugh.”

Jake now laughing with Pete and Max presses Alex. "The new kid does have a name, doesn’t she?" He steps closer to Alex. Alex blinks, ‘may as well get this over.’ “It’s Alex.” Then he takes a step back. Before anyone can speak Pete blurts out, “Jen is going to get pissed about this.”

Turning to face Pete Jake reminds him Jen broke up with him and it’s none of her business. This strange interaction is just beginning to dawn on Alex. As he turned his head to face Pete, he glimpsed his denim shirt. Then it hit him. In a half panic he said quickly after making a show of looking at his watch. “I’m late I have to get home.”

“It was nice to meet you Alexandra. Jake sensually dragged out pronunciation of Alexandra. See you in school,“ Jake finished with a decided puppy dog gleam in his eye. As Alex walked down the street in a deliberate measured gait not too fast, not too slow he faintly hears Max say, “wow is she ever hot.” This was followed by Jake answering, “hands off.”

“I am not a girl but I sure as hell look like one.” Alex exclaims as he almost dives through his front door seeking shelter. His thoughts ranged from, ‘shit to shit some more. I have to figure out a way to avoid school’. He calls downstairs to his mother. “Mom did you ever think about home schooling?”

His mother fired back quickly, “not on your life.” Alex slams his bedroom door. He stares into the mirror admiring himself having not changed out of his sister’s clothes. ‘It would be much easier if this was me. Those jokers thought I was a girl. ‘If only, they knew the truth.’ He paused, ‘if, No when is more like it I’m toast.’

Gladys calls up to Alex. “Do you mind doing me a favor?” Alex answers, “what is It.” His mother answers, “I have to go into town. I, don’t have much time. The school wants the doctor’s report by the end of the day so they can set your schedule. They are open for another hour. If I drop you off, will you run it in? I will pick you up on my way back.”

Alex goes down the stairs forgetting he had not changed his clothes. Mother looks at him with a wry smile. “I, don’t have time to wait you are going to have to go like that.” Alex blinks, “it will only take a minute.”

Mom comes back. “We, don’t have a minute. With all the kids coming and going do you think that secretary will even notice? Say you are just dropping it off. You don’t have to say who you are.” Alex gets into the car thinking ‘I am doomed.’

He enters the school walking the empty hall to the principal’s office. Mrs. Marsh looks up from her desk as Alex hands her the report. “The school wanted this today.” He hands her the form adding “my gym exemption is in there as well.” Mrs. Marsh glances at it adding “good we need that. I will mail your schedule tomorrow. You should have it by Thursday. Welcome to our school.” It was her answer that brought Alex to reality ‘I said my gym exemption. Shit! that was stupid’

Alex nods exiting without seeing anyone other than two girls who come out of a door marked guidance office. Fortunately, his mother is already pulling into the parking lot. Thankful the boy makes his escape to the safety to his mother’s car. He looks out the window to see two girls waving. Alex closed his eyes like a condemned prisoner would.

Mrs. March eyes the paperwork; the doctor was brief not fully describing the nature of the girl’s physical abnormality. It was clear she was having issues with her breast and possible future mastectomy. Mrs. March nearly wept thinking about the brave and beautiful young girl who gave no sign of the seriousness of her plight. Mrs. March also noted the previous school misspelled the girl’s name having spelled Alexandra with er instead of ra. She corrected that and filed the paper work.

It took the boy less than five minutes to shed his sister’s clothes and flee her room. He absently grabbed off a pair or her panties. The white brief type still in the package as Jami refused to wear them because they were after all grannie’s gotchies as Jamie had referred to them. He looked at them for a long moment wondering ‘why did I do that?’ He shrugged, tossed them into the corner forgetting about it.

On Thursday when the mail arrived Alex opened the letter from school. There was a cover letter and a separate class schedule.
His schedule, marked A. Winslow listed the eight periods day by day. The gym exemption was for the entire term. He gave the cover letter to his mother to remind her they needed a medical update to continue the gym exemption for the spring term. There was a note typed at the bottom of the schedule. Dear Alexandra welcome to our school we wish you a successful learning experience. ‘Oh shit it will be an interesting one at least.’ He thought.

Then it began, the phone rang. “Alex it’s for you,” his mother yelled from downstairs. Curiously, he picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Alex, it is me Jake. I wanted to know if you'd watch football practice on Saturday.”

The boy startled stammered “how did you get my number?”

Jake reported “you are the only Winslow in town. I see you bought the old Claymore place. What do you say can you make it?”

Alex hesitated, “uh Saturday no can do my parents made plans for me. Sister is in college you know what a pain that is.” He held the phone hoping to end this call. Fortunately Jake accepted the excuse. “Ok I will see you school after the holiday.”

Gladys came upstairs to speak to Alex. “I told you not to worry you made a friend already.”

Jake shook his head, “no Ma. He was looking for someone named Alexandra.”

Alex again looked into the mirror and he saw himself looking more like a girl. There was no hair on his legs as revealed by the short denim cutoffs he wore. His beefy tea mostly hid the curve on his chest but not completely. This was another one of those steamy August evenings often experienced in fly over country. Alex shrugged, ‘too hot to wear jeans to hide this. Oh well screw em’

At the dinner table Norman asked his son if he could bring a package to the post office to mail to Jami. Alex tilts his head upward surprised. “I thought we were driving out to see her.”

Norman answers, “we were but I have to meet with Reverend Morgenstern to review the budgets.”

“Morgenstern? A Baptist minister named Morgenstern. Dad how weird is that?”

“Don’t ask it is a long story. Your mother got called in because one of the nurse’s aides is out sick. So we, can’t go. Will you do it?”

Alex recalled seeing the post office across the road from the football field next to the high school. “Dad I was looking forward to seeing Jami.” Alex’s father looks up surprised as Alex was never close to his sister.

“Alex what is this sudden desire to see your sister?”

He struggles for an excuse before he blurted out something sounding like “I have not seen her in months and wanted to talk to her, that’s all.”

Mrs. Winslow giggles while almost coughing up her tea. “You have sudden guilt pains and need to confess you wore her clothes without asking?”

Norman cautioned his wife. “Gladys, Alex and I prayed for his forgiveness. Alex promised not to use anyone’s personal property without permission. It is not fair to chastise the boy. The Lord has forgiven him.” Gladys appeared humbled.

Alex smiles while pressing his luck. “Yes, I feel terrible about that and need to confess to her. I did not want to do it over the phone.”

Gladys nods, “quite right. You drop me off at work and then you can drive to the college. I can get a ride home. You need not worry about that.” Norman nods his assent. “Call your sister to tell her you are coming. She may be able to let you stay at her place over night. You can drive home on Sunday. I’d rather not have you pay the cost of a motel. You call me when you get there. Then call in the morning when you leave.”

Puzzled, wondering what kind of mess he got himself into he agrees saying, “I will call her tonight.” He excuses himself to go outside to sit on the porch. Alex sits on the wicker lounge his legs curled under him watching the sunset. The window behind him is open to the kitchen. His parent’s voices filter through though they are talking low.

Father says to his wife. “What are we going to do with that boy”

“Norman don’t worry he is a good boy just having a hard time. You can’t imagine how hard it is for him. I pray you change your mind about those treatments.”

The man says to his wife, “I have prayed it is in the Lord’s hands. We will speak of it no more Gladys.”

Gladys reminds her husband that on the first of the year Alex will be eighteen and Lord or no Lord it will be his decision and there is nothing his father can do about it. Upon hearing his mother Alex’s eyes widen. ‘I never considered that I can have them chopped off.’ He smiles, and then frowns. ‘What happens then? Everybody thinks I am a girl and that football player will beat the shit out of me.’

Alex’s watched two girls walking along the sidewalk in front of the porch. Kathy the Wal-Mart girl was wearing a white skirt with a green top. The girl with her was wearing a khaki knee length skort and red halter style top. Though Alex had no idea it was a skort, he liked the look of it. Kathy was a honey blond with longer hair than Alex while the other girl’s hair was almost the same as his. Hers, was a slightly lighter brown. Kathy noticed Alex; she turned to her friend. “See I told you just like yours.” Without stopping she waves to Alex, “Hi.”

The two girls begin chatting like long lost friends. “I like those shorts Alex. They show off your legs” Regan says. Alex smiles minimizing as he explained they were old cut off jeans. They had been laying around forever. With a blush he admits he cut them too short and won’t go out in public wearing them. Regan comes back with a teasing, “trolling shorts hey?”

Alex blushes as Regan continues, “like my skort the guys think it is a short skirt only to discover it is a skirt wrapped around shorts.” Alex nods, “but I am not trolling.”

Kathy giggles, “I hear you don’t have to you already landed Jake.”

Alex, flushes feeling the blush rise. “What are you talking about?”

Regan answers, “we saw the boy in town awhile ago. He is so into a girl named Alex. We thought he had a lobotomy. It was Alex this, Alex that. You are the only Alex in town we know about.” They both giggled saying in unison, “Jen is going to be one pissed prom queen.”

Alex in near panic asks, “Who is Jen?” The girls answer in unison, “Head cheerleader babe who dumped Jake and commanded her followers to stay away.” Now Alex gets really worried. ““Jake is not on my radar.” The girls smile emitting an elongated “sure. We have to get going it was good to meet you Alex. Oh don’t wear shorts around the guys.” Kathy adds.

Kathy Wyatt was in her senior year as well. The girl was about the same height as Alex, perhaps a half inch taller. She was a pretty girl who was not in Queen Jen’s entourage. Kathy settled into a group of cool girls everyone wanted for a friend. The girl with her was Reagan Anderson equally desirable and popular as Kathy. Reagan's hair style and color proved a striking similarity to Alex. With the same shaped face, height and eyes they could be mistaken for sisters.

The boy answers sheepishly. “Why do you say that?” Kathy looks to Reagan with a wry smile. “Like she does not know those legs are killer.” Reagan laughs, “right.” They leave saying they will see Alex in school. Alex nods and goes in the house. As he starts up the stairs he hears his mother. “Alex that letter from school mentioned a schedule. Will you bring it down here? I’d like to see it.” Alex nods mumbling, “K”

In his room he hurries to scan it into his computer. The top line read, A. Winslow, 17 Female, Senior. He quickly converted the file into a doc, changed the Female to Male and printed up a new sheet. He thought ‘this is becoming a classic fubar in a hurry. What the hell am I going to do? I don’t want them going to the school demanding a correction to that female listing. At least until I can figure out what is going on’ He gave the copy to his mother and scampered upstairs when she nodded her approval. Alex decided he had to call Jami.

Jami answered her cell on the second ring with a note of surprise in her voice. “Alex?”
The boy answered explaining their parents were not coming because of work emergencies. That did not bother her in the least which did not surprise the boy. Parents and daughter have been at odds over religion for years. Especially since Jami became a liberal who embraced all kinds of causes not favorable to conservative parents.

“I will be bringing your package up alone. Do you have room for me to crash with you overnight or do I need to find a motel? Mom and dad wanted me to ask you ahead of time.”

Jami with surprise in her voice said, “why don’t you just mail it?”

Alex reported, “I can’t because I need to see you.” Jami detected the strain in his voice right off. “Alex why are you crying? What did they do to you?”

The boy denied any tears. “It is a crisis and I have to talk with you. There is nobody else I can trust.”

His response surprised Jami. She knew Alex had no friends and was the school target. “You are the only one I can trust” Alex said.

Jami, puzzled thought, 'we are not close and never have been. This must be bad.' Jami could not imagine what this is about. She was beyond curious. “Little brother you must tell me what is so important?” Now she could hear the tears.

Between sniffles the boy told her, “not on the phone, please I need you.”

Jami grows quite concerned. “Alex are you all right is it safe for you to drive?” she could hear him as he gave his assurances.

Jami, somewhat relieved acquiesced in her resistance to Alex’s insistence he would be all right. Her curiosity about what troubled him had rose to a level where she finally answered. “Yes, you can stay over night. Tell mom and dad it is ok. Meet me at the bench in the south quad near the fountain. I will be waiting there at ten.”

Alex agrees with Jami closing, “see you tomorrow and please be careful.”

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Comments

Woah... tough ride for

Woah... tough ride for Alex...
It looks like a girl so it has to be a girl. And they go and correct the "mistakes".

I wonder if he'll stay a girl, or if he'll change back to be a boy.

thank you for writing,

beyogi

Love the Story

littlerocksilver's picture

I like the way the Bible thumpers' logic is being used aginst their own twisted logic.

Girl.jpg
Portia

Portia

Looks Like Alex Is In A Tough Spot

jengrl's picture

PICT0013_1_0.jpgLooks like Alex is in a tough spot. With a father so wrapped up in religious dogma that he refuses to face facts and a mother that is caught between "Obeying" her husband and helping her child. He has no one locally to help him that understands. Hopefully, Jamie can be someone Alex can depend on. She has apparently done what a lot of kids do that come from extremely religious homes. She has rebelled and gone in the opposite direction once she got away from home. Hopefully, without the fog of overzealous religion, she can help him make decisions about his life and help him to realize, just as his mother already knows, that once he turns 18, his life decisions are his to make and his father will no longer call the shots for his medical needs. It sounds like that Alex may be intersexed, judging by the descriptions of his male anatomy not functioning sexually and the sensations and discharge centering in his breasts.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Alex is an enigma & needs medical/psych help not mindless dogma

But I have a simple test that will solve everything. Stab dad in the gut with a whopping big kitchen knife.

"What the hell did you do that for. Call 911, I need to go to the hospital!"

"No. Prayer will save you. The Lord will save you if your faith is true. And going to a doctor is against god's plan."

Okay a TAD bit extreme but sorry, I have a big bug up my butt when it comes to religious, political, racist, sexual or other *nutters*. The child needs help, he or she does NOT need platitudes . Mind you some people see what they will and not what is there and see in contradictory events proof of or proof against the existence of a deity. The dad seem sadly one of those for whom if the facts contradict your *model* of the universe then bend the facts to fit rather than revise your *model*. And if all else fails claim "it's against Gods plan" or "it's the work of Satan."

So we have what seems at first a classic TG or even regular lit "trope" of mistaken identity, IE everybody thinks he's a girl. And we have the classic clueless or rigid in the their beliefs parents. Add in a stubborn, upset, confused teen -- our hero/heroine -- and season with the older sibling at college.

You promised us something NOT mainstream and I am eager to see how you will achieve this.

Nice setting the scene.

I look forward to more.

John in Wauwatosa

P.S. I agree, his/her sexual response is very odd, a bit like he or she is cross wired so to speak. Not an expert by any means on human development but this seem one very odd boy. He or she needs serious medical help and the family needs counseling before something bad happens to him or her.

John in Wauwatosa

Yes, I know about this.

This rings almost too true. Didn't get the breasts but was very tiny with high voice, and demeanor that just screamed girl. NOT GAY, but GIRL. That got me assigned to girl's PE and Home ecconomics, and it took a day or two to um "correct it".

:)

Some of this rings far too true

... like other posters have said. I mean, I wonder if Alex is even vaccinated given his father's attitude. what is puzzling is how the school administration could confuse Alexander (which I assume is his name) with the apparent girl in front of them and not ask for parental confirmation.

As far as what I've seen, the religious reich probably does not even believe in intersex as God only made male and female *rolls eyes*. It has always been conveniently ignored when they attack trans people. I mean, what happens if one has qualities of the opposite sex in ones' brain.

Kim

Kim

"what is puzzling is how the school administration could confuse Alexander (which I assume is his name) with the apparent girl in front of them and not ask for parental confirmation."

I took the easy way out. Alex presented the doctor's gym exemption to school. He was dressed in a girl's bib overall shorts set. Breasts were clearly visible. The doctor's exemption stated no gym because of medical condition of the breasts. The school personal naturally assumed seeing a pretty girl standing there with serious breasts issues that the paperwork received from the other school spelled her name wrong. So she entered an RA for the ER getting Alexandra. An obvious female. Aren't bureaucrats wonderful?

The Duck Test

Long hair, lactating breasts, narrow waist, wide hips - his family appear to be the only ones that see 'boy' in him, and his policy of 'go with the flow' might actually work out in his favour... assuming he can get around the issue of his parents. After all, in his last school he was bullied and teased for looking like a girl - in this new settlement, everyone already thinks he's a girl, and the local teen population are accepting instead of teasing him (or rather, her!)

Now, if someone could persuade dad that it's "The Lord's Will" that Alex's body has decided to go through female puberty...

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Well now there is the

Well now there is the question if the lords will is also Alex will...
If he wants to be a guy, that might not be so funny.

poor kid.

not an easy road ahead, I predict.

Dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

Thanks Again

"You promised us something NOT mainstream and I am eager to see how you will achieve this."

I'm trying. The goal here is to focus on the inner conflict not the usual external prejudices.

Alex is tired of the chronic bullying. He finds what appears to be an easy out. They see him as a girl so go with the flow.

He finds many friends suddenly he is in the popular crowd. As he grows closer to his friends guilt rises. If found out he hurts his friends.

He discovers comfort in being a girl. More conflict. It becomes easier as the (best friends forever) mindset grows and his feminine persona increases. (Am I really a girl?) (No I'm not.)(Yes I am. )

You won't find the pitchfork patrol making an appearance. You may even discover how the Lord's plan could work.

I believe this is different because of the focus. Perhaps I'm wrong but I have not seen this approach.

*I* will give you the chance.. as will many others here at BC

I wish you every bit of luck with this.

Too often we as *authors* try too hard to please the reader and try to be everything to everyone and lose sight of the story we had in mind. Ultimately you write for yourself though understanding your audience and taking advantage of their comments is to your benefit.

Sometimes you need to experiment, try a different or a more restricted POV. And I don't just mean sticking strickly to first person narrative, third person or alternating narrators and the like. That you intend to concentrate mostly on the hero/heroine -- I'm not sure which he/she is yet -- internal/personal conflict and downplay the outside forces/consequences sound interesting.

Everyone has their own POV, their own style. I look forward to seeing yours develop.

And the attitude of Alex and his family is important. Their choosing NOT to do anything about his condition is in fact CHOOSING in a way. Will it be what Alex can live with or will even want and how can/will Alex relate to his friends and family as it happens? What will the consquences be for him personally?

John in Wauwatosa

P.S. I liked My Magic PDA.

John in Wauwatosa

Style

I have read a lot of stories here before throwing out a few of my own. There are a lot of very good ones. My writing another "Show Me The Money" with different characters could be an interesting exercise or story. But it would not add anything to Arecee's excellent novel.

It is difficult to be original and I did not wish to do something that was more of the same. I think I succeeded with PDA based on the comments. I am not likely to do another BOB/Sarah effort. With this approach Alex may have it too easy regarding the homophobic crowd. It has been done too many times.

I hope asking the question of how would I feel if my body was telling me I am not who I thought I was. Whether you wish for such a change or would really hate it. The reality of it happening would have an impact on how you view the world. You would not need the pitchfork crowd. The event itself would be a conflict.

I do think even as one writes for themselves the audience needs to be considered.

Besides this is fun and a challenge.

wow...

Sounds like I'm going to want to start following this story.

My own story is more centered on internal conflict as well, in fact, as more external forces are revealed, readers are going to find most of them only mean my character the best, whatever he/she decides.

Though I think the conflict differs a bit for our characters. Mine is self-repressive, yours is just struggling to find himself.

Abigail Drew.

Great story

Jules
and full of potential for expanding. i'm sure that Alexandra will enjoy school and find lots of new friends as she switches to living as a girl.
The step father has done his job in inadvertingly pushing Alex towards this new life experience that I'm sure he/she will enjoy. The girls will bring her out of himself as well.
Jules

Jules

Interesting take here.

Religious dogma (which I personally dislike for reasons of my own), mistaken perceptions, and a young person who finally decides to just go with the flow rather than contradict what others see. Should be an interesting story.

Maggie

a great beginning

I love the story. It has a nice surprise turn with the gynomastia inclusion (quite the rarity both in real life and in literature here.)

I can easily identify with Alex as there were times in school people thought my name to be Helen, and my looks didn't do me justice to try to convince many people otherwise.

I am thankful that you defined the term 'skorts'. The first time I say the word I assumed a type and read it as shorts. The second time really got me curious, then you defined it. I do have a question... what the heck are bibbed overalls? I am having a major problem trying to fathom what these are. I know what coveralls are, I've had to wear them when helping my brother years ago in the autobody shop. And overalls are just hillybilly jeans with that odd raised piece up front usually attached by shoulder straps, but bibbed?? I can't fathom that one

foxxe_bc.jpg
>> Foxxe Wilder >>

"what the heck are bibbed

"what the heck are bibbed overalls? I am having a major problem trying to fathom what these are. I know what coveralls are,"

They are probably the same thing. Coveralls cut into shorts. The kids in certain areas thought this fashionable a few years back.

A skort is simply a skirt built around shorts to look like a mini. A lot of terms are local. I remember asking for a milk shake in Boston one time. In my neck of the woods a milk shake is flavoring and ice cream added to milk. In Boston they gave me shook up flavored milk. When I asked about it they told me what I wanted is called a Cabinet.

redneck lederhosen

laika's picture

Bib overalls are the kind farmers wear. When they get old they make great cut-offs. Sooooo comfortable. Coveralls are what moving van crews + warehouse workers wear. They button clean up to the neck and would make funny looking cut-offs.

I guess the best way is to

I guess the best way is to show you. here is a picture not used in the story that shows the outfit.

Congrarts Essarr

WebDeb's picture

Your first instalment is intriguing. A pinch of religious bigotry always incites comments.

Will this be yet another tale where our protagonist is in denial and also on the road of self discovery?

Or will he be fighting his feminine destiny with tooth and nail! (Rhetorical)

I'm not sure you can fight your soul but this tale will lead to the obvious conclusion.

In my honest opinion.

p.s Hope I am proven wrong!

Nice start

and promising for the future stories. I'm wondering what direction it's going to take, but I'm sure he'll be hiding that everybody thinks him to be Alexandra and not Alexander for as long as he can while being openly a girl in front of everybody but his parents, to judge by his thoughts and the editing he did of the schedule to appear as if they registered him as a male.

Not a girl?

Well, if the other parts are as good as the first, I'm going to like this story.

Lisa

Interesting start, looking

Interesting start, looking forward to more.

Lizzie :)

Yule

Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p

Good new story will love to

nikkiparksy's picture

Good new story will love to read how jamie help's alex out.
Looking forward to the next chapter:).

Good one Essar!

Looking forward to more, good luck with your writing.

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

A nice beginning. John,

A nice beginning. John, actually there's another good argument in the same vein as you suggested only less harsh - "The treatments for this condition exist because Lord allowed it to be treated. Do not interfere, you know not of the Lord's plan and any decision you force has exactly as much likelihood of being in violation of it as in support of it*."

Faraway

*which is to say, next to nil. ;P


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

I am Not a Girl -1

Just how 'developed' is Alex in his groin? Has he went through puberty?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Going through the alphabetical list of stories

WillowD's picture

I was going through the alphabetical list of stories on BCTS and discovered this one. I am thoroughly enjoying it.

And it's so nice to see StanMan63 posted here too. When I was first exploring BCTS I found so many of my favorite stories had comments from him. He stopped posting long before I started exploring this site and yet I still feel like I miss him. I have added this author to my to-read list.