Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1389

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1389
by Angharad

Copyright © 2011 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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“What on earth are you two doing here?” I asked after saying thanks for the assorted flora.

“Like watching a play, ya know,” Stella opted for a mid-west accent–least I think it was.

“Yes, it was very good–you should watch it sometime.” Gareth obviously didn’t have his brain plugged in.

“That might be a bit tricky, Gareth.”

“Why?” he asked.

“I played the part of one of the witches, good makeup, wasn’t it?”

“Very funny–but you’ll be able to watch it–some guy was videoing it.”

“Eh?”

“Yeah, didn’t you see him? Proper camera; not one of these shove in your pocket things.”

“No I didn’t,” I wondered if the others knew about this, like Sister Maria or Gordon?

“I wonder if the school’s going to sell them?” he added.

“What some corny DVD with everyone in the audience coughing and spluttering over the voices of the cast?”

“No, he had a remote mike on the stage, you must have seen it?”

“I didn’t.” I suppose it will find its way on to Youtube, or bits of it will.

“Anyway–where’s the baby?”

“Jenny’s looking after her, she’s got a bottle of feed, so should be alright.”

“Was it wise to come out and sit on a hard seat so soon after sprogging?”

“I brought my own cushion,” she smiled, “and yes it was–it was good, a cut above the usual school production.”

“With Iain in it, it had to be–that’s a no brainer,” I retorted.

“Yeah, but the leading lady was okay too, obviously another professional,” teased Stella.

“Obviously–but professional what?”

“That would be telling,” she smirked.

“Thanks, Sis–I love you too.”

“We’d better get back, we’re staying at your place tonight an’ Gar’ll move the stuff down during the weekend.”

“I’ll catch up with you later.” We hugged and they both went home. I went in search of Gordon.

“Did you know someone filmed tonight’s performance?” I asked him.

“It would have been difficult for him to do it without my knowing seeing as I was standing a few feet away from him.”

“Does Iain know?”

“Of course, he agreed to it–didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t and I don’t feel too happy about it.”

“You’ll need to talk with the headmistress woman, she organised it–reckoned they could sell a couple of hundred copies at a tenner a time–two grand–all for a good cause.”

“That’s as maybe, I’d should have liked to have been asked at the outset.”

“Why, were you likely to say no?”

I shook my head, no.

“Well then–principles–people who run colleges aren’t they?” he sniggered at his atrocious pun.

I’d have words with Sister Maria tomorrow, I fumed as I collected Julie and she sat next to my indignation all the way home.

“Huh, if I’d known you were such a sulk, I’d have begged a ride back with Auntie Stella.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“If I’d known you were going to sulk all the way home, I’da like come back with Gareth and Auntie Stella.”

“Sulk? I’m not sulking–I was just thinking.”

"Thinkin'?"

“Thinking about what I’d say to Sister Maria tomorrow.”

“We live in there,” she snapped and pointed behind us.

“Oops, okay, now you distracted me.”

I did?” she complained.

“Of course,” I did a quick turn via a gateway and she put her hands in front of her face.

“Jeezuz H Christ, if I drove like that you’d take my car off me,” Julie gasped.

“Quite right too,” I snapped, “You’ve got to be an advanced hazard to do that properly, and you need a four wheeled drive. When you’ve got kids of your own and a Chelsea tractor, then you can do things like that.”

“Where am I gonna get kids from?”

“Steal ’em like I did.”

“I thought you inherited most of us...”

“Yeah, or found you put out with the rubbish...”

“Ouch,” she said, and I turned into our drive and parked the car.

We were both more intent on seeing the baby than squabbling, so we were quiet entering the house.

Little Fiona was sleeping in her carrycot while Stella and Simon chatted with Gareth working on his laptop and Jenny making tea. “I thought I saw you pull up, so I put the kettle on.”

“Oh well done,” I said accepting the mug of nectar.

“Cor, in’t she small?” declared Julie looking at the baby, “look at her tiny fingers,” she added the baby clinging on to her larger digit with her grip reflex.

“She did come from a rather small place,” said Stella smirking.

“Wasn’t yer gob, then?” said Simon.

“Huh,” she replied.

“I’d heard you gave a cough and she fell off,” he continued, “or something like that.”

“She wouldn’t be here at all if Cathy hadn’t arrived,” Stella asserted.

I blushed and said nothing.

“Apart from Jenny and Gareth, none of us’d be here without Cathy,” Simon sighed.

“Aye, weel I’m awa’ tae ma pit, guid nicht.” Tom pecked me on the cheek and then did the same to Stella and Julie. “Guid t’ hae ye back,” he told Stella.

“I’m not sure if Cathy feels the same,” she said looking at me.

“’Course she does, don’cha, Mummy.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” I lied. It felt more like a commune or kibbutz than a family.

Later in bed, Simon was lying beside me gently stroking my tummy. “You’re not really happy that Stella’s back, are you?”

“That depends upon whether she looks after her kids or delegates to us again. I don’t see why we should pay Jenny to look after her kids.”

“Since she’s been ill, she’s got quite lazy–she used to be quite busy before.”

“You mean when she was working?”

“Yeah, she used to help keep the place clean and some of the cooking.”

“When there was just the two of you?”

“Yeah, I s’pose, it was okay in the cottage.”

“Do you regret me appearing on the scene?” I asked quite academically.

“What? Don’t be silly, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Living in the cottage was nice while it lasted, but this is infinitely better,” his hand strayed up to my breast.

“Living with all the waifs and strays we seem to have accumulated–are you sure you’re okay with all that?”

He stopped stroking my breast, “What d’you mean? D’you think I regret having all the children?”

“Yeah, sometimes I think you do.”

He paused then replied, “If I do, and it’s a big if, then it’s only because they take your time away from me–but that’s kids for you.”

“You don’t resent that they’re other people’s children, and that I can’t give you any of our own?”

“You keep bringing this up–what’s triggered it this time?–Of course, Stella and the new baby. No I don’t care one bit and I wish you’d let go of it too. No one’s perfect, well ’cept maybe me of course, so stop worrying about your imaginary defects–it’s you I fell in love with and that was with or without a uterus or whatever they call ‘em.”

He rose up leant across me and kissed me very tenderly, “Hey, what’re you crying for?”

“Because I love you so much,” I sobbed.

Women, I’ll never understand 'em,” he sighed and kissed me again.

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Comments

Thank you,

ALISON

'but now you have me crying with Cathy.

ALISON

Well, of course.

She does that to me all the damn time.

only possible explanation...

Simon's had that conversation so often he's had flash cards made up with the correct answers.

And the Sister is definitely taking liberties and needs to be put in her place. No other parent does a fraction as much for the school and she's being milked like a cash cow. Cathy should refuse to sign a release, at least until the other parents raise some money, too.

Poetry etc.

She stood on the bridge at midnight,
Her heart was all a-quiver.
She gave a cough,
A leg fell off,
And floated down the river.

Or try illustrating this one:

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight.
Stood back to back and faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

(That's the version I remember - apparently there are oodles of different versions, many with several additional verses).

-oOo-

As for Cathy fuming about the filming, so what? She can't exactly do anything about it in retrospect, the video sales are going to a good cause, she's already been broadcast across the nation (the dormouse documentary - which, incidentally, was also released on video), the region (the interview she did with the local news programme) and YouTube (Spike!).

The Spike incident certainly hasn't done her any harm, and I'm sure video clips of her acting skills won't either.

-oOo-

Current Household size: sixteen humans, one spaniel.
Adults: six (Tom, Cathy, Stella, Simon, Jenny, Gareth)
Adolescents: one (Julie)
Pre-adolescents: two (Danny, Billie)
Children: three (Livvie, Trish, Mima)
Toddlers: one (Puddin')
Babies: two (Catherine, Fiona)

Technically, Jenny's an employee rather than a member of the family, and she's allegedly a part time resident - but Simon's often spent many days away from home (when working in London) and Stella's had two bouts of pre-natal depression.

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

you left out "the spaniel"

from the detailed list.

Spaniel: Kiki

Agree that the film can't hurt Cathy at all - just add another accomplishment to her list of public appearances. Still waiting for her to be knighted (or whatever it's called).

Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1389

After all of this, I hope that Stella starts to pull her weight. And looking forward to Cathy confronting Sister Maria about the videoing.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

A touching end to the chapter

And no - I do not believe that Simon's had a teleprompter mounted to the bedroom wall. He is a rather schizophrenic character though. Sometimes clueless, sometimes the stereotypical pub crawler, sometimes actually sensitive and loving.

Yep!

The Pease pair, Alan and Barbara put it soo-oo succinctly in their second book. 'Why men don't have a clue & women always need more shoes.' It explains some of the issues that separate two of the sexes.

That's why Simon will never understand women!

Nice chapter Angie.

Still lovin' it.

OXOXOX.

Bev.

XZXX

Growing old disgracefully.

bev_1.jpg

What a lovely sweet ending

Nice to see that beneath that exterior there is a more sensitive man than you would ever give Simon credit for being, So for my part i must remember to be little more forgiving when i comment on Simon's next crass moment (Make no mistake there will be one!) and remember that no matter what Simon has said or done , He really does love Cathy very deeply...

Kirri

actually there's a new twist in the Stella part of this saga -

Garrith - with him about, it's possible Stella will be more attentive wit her two kids, let's hope so... I do see a nice blow up if she tries to pawn off on Jenny tho. And I think this is where Garrith will step in and push for least one more nanny in picture.
.
will be interesting to say the least I'm sure

Now and then

Simon gets it right. I think he is even getting better at being a good husband.