Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1353

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1353
by Angharad

Copyright © 2011 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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On the Sunday morning, I answered the door at nine o’clock in the morning to representatives of the local constabulary–a uniformed sergeant and woman constable. Not having been in the kitchen I didn’t see them arrive, and the fact that Danny had said some friends might call for him to go off on a bike ride together, I put two and two together and came up with five. In fact, I’d called him to say that the doorbell was probably his friends–except, I’d thought it was too early for teens to be up.

“Lady Cameron?”

“Yes,” I replied feeling my tummy turn over–no one in the family was out, so it couldn’t be them coming to notify me of bad news–unless they were charging me with something I’d no idea about.

“Do you mind if we come in and speak to you?”

“No, except I hope it won’t take too long–I have a Sunday lunch to make.”

“We should be gone long before that,” replied the sergeant.

I admitted them just as Danny came down the stairs, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the burly sergeant. Then he went into the kitchen to make his breakfast while I led the police into my study area, which afforded some privacy.

“Is that your boy?” asked the sergeant.

“Yes–why?”

“He looks just like Daniel Maiden, a right little tearaway he was, broke all my greenhouse windows–got put into care–probably turn into a right little toerag–they usually do.”

“Do they, Sergeant? You seem to have a poor opinion of children who have family issues.” I kept it polite but I felt like slapping him one.

“We spend too much time validating the poor criminal, ’oo just ’cos ‘e ‘ad a row with ’is ma, is forgiven for bashing some old ladies’ brains in so ’e could ’ave some money to spend underage drinkin’ or sniffin’ glue.”

“I’m sure that isn’t why you have come to see me, Sergeant?”

“No, ma’am, it’s about the accident the other day–the fatal one.”

I’d begun to think that was probably the reason. Normally, I’d have offered teas or coffees, but not to this oik, the sooner he was out of here the better–then I had another thought. If I made tea or coffee, I could warn Danny to go and hide.

“Would you care for some tea or coffee?” I asked smiling sweetly, except I felt like poisoning it.

“That’d be very welcome, ma’am,” he said looking at his colleague and she nodded.

“Coffees?” they both agreed. I went off to the kitchen to make them. I caught Danny eating his breakfast and told him to make himself scarce as the plod had recognised him. He went pale and nodded his understanding.

I made three coffees and took them back with some biscuits and milk and sugar. We sat drinking the coffee in silence, punctuated by the sergeant eating three digestive biscuits while neither his colleague nor I had any. Eventually he stopped stuffing his face and looking round the room said, “Nice place you ’ave ’ere, lotsa books–you read ’em all?”

“There two thousand books here, it’s our library–my father is a professor at the university, and I teach there too. But we also have some of the children’s books here too.”

“Lotsa books on science, I see.”

“Um–yes, we’re scientists–biologists.”

“I see–not witches then?”

“I beg your pardon?” This guy was a total cretin.

“Well, you see–the dead woman–a Ms Laura Lawrence–suggested in her notes that you were some sort of sorceress.”

“On what grounds?”

“She suggested that you had some sort of magical powers which manifested as a blue light and that you did things like raising animals and people from the dead.”

I burst out laughing, although it wasn’t what I wanted to do–but assaulting a police officer is a serious offence.

“You find that funny?”

“Wouldn’t you?” I threw back at him.

“Not really, seeing as you don’t ’ave a licence from the ’Ome Office for experiments in resurrecting animals–you ’ave one for studyin’ dormice.”

“Which is what I do, Sergeant. I don’t know where she got the idea from but she seemed obsessed with it and I believe the accident was caused by her trying to injure my children or me, so I’d have to demonstrate this magical power I’m supposed to have. If that was the case, how come I couldn’t help save the van driver or her.”

“Per’aps you chose not to?” he asserted.

“More likely, she was barking up the wrong tree,” I suggested, “Or just plain barking.”

“Per’aps–then again, ’ow d’you explain this?” he opened the file he was carrying and it showed a very poor photo of the children and I trying to save the injured doe.”

“We were simply trying to help an injured animal–it died–so did the fawn it was carrying–so where’s the magical power there?”

“I believe I can see a blue light comin’ from your ’ands.”

“How do I know this hasn’t been photo-shopped or enhanced?”

“Our lab boys suggest it wasn’t.”

“Then I have no explanation–and I’m not sure where this is leading–because as far as I’m aware helping an injured animal or person at the scene of a road traffic accident is not an offence–whereas leaving such a scene is.”

“’Ow do I know you aren’t experimentin’ on this deer?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I thought my question was clear–were you experimentin’ on this deer?”

Is this bloke for real? “I told you what we were doing, trying to help an injured animal, because it was distressing for my children to see and hear some boy racer stamping about the place swearing because he’d stupidly broken his favourite toy and fatally injured a pregnant doe.”

“But the blue light is clear–so were you experimentin’ with some sort of device we can’t see–an’ is that boy, Danny Maiden?”

“Sergeant before I make a call to your senior officer and have you recalled for rudeness and wasting my time–I’ll confess to you. Yes, I had a device–it was actually onboard the space ship which is hovering just out of the picture–we’re all aliens–like you all seem to be morons–and I really think we came to the wrong planet because we seem beset by these large ape-like creatures who differ from other primates in having larger brains–but with seemingly fewer functioning cognitive abilities.”

“Are you insinuatin’ somethin’?” he snapped angrily, too stupid to see what I was saying, yet his colleague was smirking when he wasn’t looking at her.

“No–you’re the one making the assertions which are total nonsense–I’ve already made a statement about the accident involving Laura Lawrence. If you have any further questions you can speak to my lawyers. I’d be obliged if you’d leave now before you waste any more of my time.

“As for the allusions to Wicca–I’m not nor ever have been involved in Wicca, which I believe is a recognised form of religious belief, much of what is reported about it seems total tabloid nonsense.

“I should add, that if all the evidence you have of me raising the dead is a rather poor photo from someone’s mobile phone–then I suggest you find something more useful to do on Sunday mornings–I would also suggest you go down to the QA and arrest the A&E staff and crash team–because they do raise people from the dead, quite regularly–but the only magic in use is their medical skill and a defibrillator.”

I showed them the door and was still shaking with anger when Simon appeared–“I heard some of that–loved the, ‘Beam me up snotty’ bit. ‘We have a space ship hovering just out of picture–ha–that was brilliant–hoovering would be more appropriate with you, but he wouldn’t know that.”

“If he comes near me again, I’ll have him sacked and his pension as damages–how dare he?” I seethed.

“Um–I hate to say it, but he was doing his job as he sees it.”

“And I gave him my best Columbian.”

“I hope that was coffee not snow.”

“Of course it was coffee–snow? What the hell are you on about?”

“My wife the woman of the world–cocaine, little lady–it comes from Columbia, don’tcha know? Some master criminal, you are.”

“Oh yeah, course.” I blushed and felt rather stupid myself.

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Comments

What an ignorant

ALISON

'copper he turned out to be.Cathy should take the matter further.

ALISON

DELETE

DELETE

ALISON

You get 'dumb-asses' in every profession.

This is just one that happens to be in the police. Or should I more correctly call them 'dumb-arses'.
Cathy should have asked him if he ever uses a blue light to get him to places faster than 'ordinary folk'.

Ho hum.

Still lovin' it.

Hugs.

XZXX

Bev.

Growing old disgracefully.

bev_1.jpg

I Do Wish...

...Cathy had challenged said "oik" and sorry example of a human being on the subject of Danny, given him a suitable tongue-lashing and ejected him from the premises along with assurances that if he kept slandering her son, she'd see him in court, the expensive kind.

___________________
If a picture is worth 1000 words, this is at least part of my story.

I Wonder What Would Happen If

jengrl's picture

PICT0013_1_0.jpg Cathy is ever put in a situation where she might have to save that idiot Cop from death? Even if Cathy was experimenting on the deer, her position as a biologist would give her more credibility in dealing with animals and I doubt that wildlife authorities would be that much of a problem . There are a few police officers that let their position go to their head. This guy should review past history and see how many of them came to regret crossing Lady Catherine Cameron. I still think the goddess should do something to make sure the Blue light won't show up on camera if they want Cathy to continue using it.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Will he now be entraping Danny?

What an ignorant sod! Perhaps she should lodge a complaint with the head plod to prevent him hurting Danny?

Very nice

Gwen

good point

time to teach Danny how to use the recorder on his phone.

Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1353

Note that the lady cop was not attacking Cathy, nor after Danny. Wonder what she wil do now that dunderplod is gone to cause Cathy and Danny troube?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Pure harrassment

So Laura's dead. Oh well. It wasn't made clear in the last chapter but now we know. Question is will there be more tabloid Marys like Laura who are out to spread their virulent journalism who will come after Cathy as it is possible Laura shared what she has tried to do with another 'journalist'. The blue light best be on guard then.

So apparently that foggy photo was Laura's 'proof'. I wonder how that sergeant got to even get his superior to question Cathy at all? I mean, really, magical powers?

Kim

I take these two cops were

I take these two cops were not from Cathy's area, because they did not seem to realize who exactly they were talking to. I would have guessed that the Chief Inspector or whatever title they use, would have warned them before they went to bother Cathy. Another case of one "desk not knowing what the other desk is doing". desk = patrol; other desk = detectives.

I rather suspect this plod

I rather suspect this plod will be after Danny now, and Cathy and Si will have to take him to task in no uncertain terms. Darwin says, "FLUNK" to the plod.

CaroL

CaroL

Plod

The police in my area are so slow and backwards at times that we no longer refer to them as 'plod'. We now call them 'dollops' instead. Unfortunately the portrayal of the police in this story is often accurate.

And once again...

...an ignorant member of Portsmouth Plod hasn't been briefed about Cathy. This chap evidently has a long standing grudge - although Danny only arrived in December 2009, in his former life he was a tormentor of Trish, who arrived at Cathy's in January 2009. So it's likely Danny was admitted to care in 2008 or earlier - so at least three years ago. Considering he hasn't seen Danny (or heard of any Danny-produced vandalism / criminal damage) in the meantime, any sane person would assume that Danny was being kept under control (or even better, rehabilitated). So barely keeping control when offered a brief glimpse of a minor he'd last encountered at least three years previously doesn't bode well for his efficiency at the job.

No doubt if he ever does so much as lay a finger on Danny, he'll find himself booted out of the Force without any perks - and if he happens to owe any debts to High Street Bank PLC... :)

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Get with the programme!

The police sergeant seems particularly inept, and was too thick to recognise his comeuppance when Cathy delivered it.

Thanks A+B: another classic Bikesode.

Police Stupidity


Bike Resources

What I wouldn't want

If my boss had said to me "Investigate this my son" I really wouldn't know where to start, certainly not in front of my colleagues , unless we had a heart to heart talk beforehand.
How do you investigate the paranormal? from a simple photograph.
I'd have wanted a detailed analysis of that before I left the station.
No wonder his sidekick never said or interupted him.
I think she may return to offer her apologies when the dust settles.

As always

whenever Cathy comes into contact with the police, They seem to take great delight in proving Cathys private thoughts on them to be so accurate, Quite what the Sergeant hoped too prove with the help an unclear pohotograph is anyones guess ... But one thing is for sure.... He would have to get much earlier to get one over Cathy !

Kirri