Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1260.

Printer-friendly version
The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1260
by Angharad

Copyright © 2011 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
-Dormouse-001.jpg

I glanced at the grizzled figure in front of me–surely he’s not still working is he? He was old when I was a kid.

“You don’t recognise me, do you?”

“I know who you are well enough.”

“Oh, you don’t seem too pleased to see me–not still seething about Lady Macbeth are we?”

“You knew damn well I didn’t want to play that part.”

“But you did, and masterfully as well, if I remember correctly. So now you’re playing Lady Bountiful, are you?”

“I’m not playing at anything, I’m a married woman with seven adopted children.”

“I see, not a bad achievement for the little swot I remember from the sixth form at Bristol. I take it you got your degree eventually?”

“Yes, in biology and ecology.”

“Are you working?” he asked and I couldn’t understand why I felt compelled to answer. He had no right to ask these questions and I had every right to tell him where to get off.

“Part time.”

“Oh,” he seemed a little taken aback by that.

“I teach at a university.”

“You don’t say, well, well.” The bell rang as he spoke and the classrooms emptied for the mid morning break. “Come with me, Watts,” he jerked his thumb in a direction and began walking towards it. I followed behind fuming.

He led me into a small office and told me to sit. I felt like an errant dog, he went off and returned with two mugs of almost passable coffee. I thanked him and he closed the door.

“What are you calling yourself these days, Watts?”

“Catherine Cameron is my legal married name.”

“Married? So you’re a missus now then?”

“Yes and no.”

“Eh?”

“Mrs Cameron is correct, but Lady Cameron is more correct, as my husband has a title.”

“Does he know about your little problem?”

“I don’t have a problem.”

“Oh, so being a boy or a man isn’t a problem then?”

“I’m neither, I’m legally female and have married as such, but to answer your prurient curiosity, my husband knows my past and so does his family. Unlike you, they don’t have a problem with it.”

“Who said I had a problem with it?”

“From your insistence on using previous names.”

“I wasn’t aware of your new one.”

“I find that hard to believe, I’ve hardly been living in a nunnery, so there has been quite a bit of media interest over the years.”

“Has there? I didn’t notice.”

“You didn’t see my film on the dormouse?”

“I thought you said you taught in a university?”

“I also make films and run a national survey of mammals.”

“As well as playing mummy to seven kids?”

“Yes, although we do now have someone to help me do that.”

“And you live in that Georgian farmhouse?”

“You took Danny home?”

“Yes, nice kid, pity he’s so easily wound up.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Apparently someone said his brother was now his sister, and did she suck his dick, or some equally vacuous and disgusting question. Don’t tell me you’re converting boys to girls–are you?”

“I have a couple of children who were placed with me who were gender variant.”

“They were placed with you?”

“Yes by a local paediatrician and a county court judge.”

“Oh, trust you to pull that off, Watts.”

“My name is Cameron, and it isn’t usual practice to call a woman by her surname.”

“Oh, a faux pas, on my part, so sorry, Lady Bountiful. Yes you were too perfect in Macbeth, swaggering round in skirts and makeup. We all thought you were queer, now we know.”

“From what you’re saying you know very little, and understand even less.”

“I know a nancy-boy when I see one.”

“I think I know a bigot when I see one, too.”

“Oh, into name-calling now are we?”

“I think you started it. I have better things to do than justify myself to an ancient scrote like you, Whitehead.”

“That’s Mister Whitehead to you nancy-boy.”

“Sorry, I always thought it was Wanker Whitehead, that’s what we all used to call you, but I suspect that you’re impotent–not helped by the diabetes–tends to do that to you, doesn’t Whitehead?”

“How d’you know about my diabetes?”

“I know all about you, Whitehead, from the skin cancer you had removed from your scalp–too much sun in the Algarve, wasn’t it? Then the prostate problem, you poor dear. Did the double by-pass make you feel easier?”

“Have you been reading my medical notes?”

“I don’t need to, Whitehead, your body is telling me. Oh, by the way if you have the kidney replacement, you won’t survive it, the aortic aneurysm will pop.”

He slumped into his chair. “How do you know all that?” he was ashen grey.

“I can read your body like a book.”

“Better go and deal with your son’s broken nose then.”

“Oh that healed a few minutes ago.”

“I don’t believe you, you bloody queer.”

“I’m not queer, just slightly extraordinary, ever so slightly. Has the tooth stopped aching?”

He felt his jaw, “Yes, how did you know about that?”

“I just healed it for you.”

“Bullshit, I don’t believe you.”

“Okay, don’t believe me.”

I touched his tummy and he went white and convulsed in pain. When he’d recovered he quietly asked, “What did you do?”

“You don’t deserve it, but I fixed your aneurysm. Go and get your kidney sorted and leave me and mine alone.”

“How can I believe you?”

“See your doctor, but if you mention my name it will revert and will burst slowly and agonisingly.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fine, but I won’t come to your funeral simply to dance on your grave.”

“Pity, I’m getting buried at sea.”

“Oh well, better see if you can get a deal while you’re still alive then.”

“I always despised you, Watts.”

“Why, because you fancied me as Lady Macbeth? The tent in your trousers was a playground joke. Didn’t you notice me paying you lots of attention when you were on yard duty?”

“You bitch.”

“The reason for your hostility is you still fancy me, however, I wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the only person left in the universe. Also my husband is extremely large and strong, he was a rugby wing forward, so can handle himself. I’d only have to mention you made a pass at me and you’d be a nursing home case tomorrow.”

“Get out of here, Watts.”

“Not until you address me by my correct name and tell me the truth.”

“I’ll call the police.”

“Try it, I know most of them by first name.”

“You really are a bitch–a prize one–aren’t you, Lady Cameron?”

“Yes, but then you knew that when you lusted after me as Lady Macbeth, didn’t you?”

“Alright, so what if I did–I could still get your boy expelled for fighting.”

“Mister Whitehead, you don’t realise who I am, or who my family are, do you?”

“I don’t care who they are–you can’t touch me.”

“I won’t need to touch you, if I ask the right person your little world disintegrates a few hours later.”

“Now I know you’re lying.”

“Why is there no Mrs Whitehead? You’re secretly gay, aren’t you–still lusting after a schoolboy who was really a schoolgirl and who would be no use to you at all. You don’t do women, do you? I’m a woman, Whitehead, these breasts are real and are actually feeding a baby–for which I’m late. I’m female, you silly little man. You followed me down here, didn’t you? You did know who I was all along. You sad old fool. I don’t need to destroy you, you’ve done it yourself. Get a life while you still have time.”

I looked down upon him, as I was standing and he was slumped over his desk sobbing. I walked away and shut his door feeling quite sick.

05Dolce_Red_l_0.jpg

up
217 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Sorry if this one's a bit below par

Angharad's picture

but I have a streaming head cold and persistent hacking cough - in short I feel like poo. Normal service will be resumed when I can actually breathe without coughing for ten minutes at a time.

Angharad

Angharad

My sympathy Ang

had a bug at Christmas and a cough at the same time The bug went within a week, The cough last week....With luck yours will not last as long!!!...Hope you get better very soon...

hugs

Kirri

I dunno about below

I dunno about below par. You did a bunch of talking about below, anyway. I found the conversation fascinating, if troubling. Sounds like Cathy certainly carried a LOT around with her.

I hope you're feeling much better - soon!

All my best,
Anne

Below Par, never. Full Stop

Had I been confronted with the same man, I don't know what I would have done; coulda been tears, or homocide. I am sorry, I have nothing against gays. Some people think I am, the fools. But when he is as mean as that, off come the gloves!

Sorry for your cold. I have been nursing something for a couple weeks that was so bad that the girls started to think I was ill from consumption; had to get really consistent with my Asthma inhalers, gasp, as if!

Hope you get much better soon.

Khadijah

I must disagree with you, Angharad.

Episode 1260 is anything BUT BELOW PAR !!!

Holly

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Holly

So now we are seeing some of

So now we are seeing some of the trials that Cathy had to endure while she was Charlie, and these were even at school. This so-called "teacher" needs to be removed and never be allowed around children of either gender. He is a sexual pervert and most likely a so far uncaught offender.

Cathy Sure Put That Bigot In His Place

jengrl's picture

Cathy sure put that bigot in his place. Mr Whitehead shouldn't be dog catcher, let alone Headmaster of a boy's school. I hope she finds another school for Danny. I wouldn't allow my child anywhere near that disgusting piece of garbage again. I will say that she did a good job of demolishing him. Seeing him sobbing, as she left, was a really nice payback for the hell she went through with him, even if he deserved a lot worse.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Small beer

We had at least two paedofiles on the staff and a headmaster who caned first, then didn't bother to seek the truth afterwards.

Now we have brutality and cyber-bullying. Only the technology has changed.

Sorry to read of the ailments, Ang. Hope you feel better soon.

S.

I didn't expect that.

Just trying to do some maths, here. Cathy played Lady Macbeth at school while doing her A-levels (Part 1021), aged what? 17 or 18?. Now she must be 24 or 25. So, if Whitehead really has followed her, where's he been all this time? The gap seems somewhat strange. I sense rather a long bow being drawn in terms of his motives.

Thanks A+B: Once again you've managed to surprise me with where you've taken this story. I hope you get well quickly. I've always found loads of Vitamin C to be good for whatever's ailing me.

Past Schooling


Bike Resources

Yep, as I thought, an A #1

Yep, as I thought, an A #1 A--hole. Cathy is not the little kid he lusted after in her school anymore. And she did put him in his place.

CaroL

CaroL

That was a wierd one

Would have been nice if Cathy had it all recorded (except maybe the last part where she threatened him. (or was that a promise?)

Would be good if she made a strong suggestion that he retire right away.

Didn't solve anything with poor Danny but I like that he stood up for his siblings. Unfortunately schools have no tolerance for fighting these days. Even if it seems justified.

Requittal?

Methinks I see and hear a childhood bugbear rising from the ashes.

Stick with it Cathy.

Still lovin' it.

Beverly.

Growing old disgracefully.

bev_1.jpg

Do you think…

…Whitehead could be described as a FORNIX rising from the ashes?
Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

sub par?

kristina l s's picture

Hmmm, not really. A little narky and confrontational, but that sort of fits the mood I imagine. It still amazes me how you do it almost everyday, dedication or what? Then as we've already agreed,well sorta, I'm almost as daft as you is.. or something. Almost.

Kristina

Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1260

Nancy boy? Just what is a Nancy boy? Cathy is not a boy, at all! Personally, I wonder if that blackhead on the pimple of Bristol is married and if he set Danny up?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Nothing More Miserable

...than a miserable, unrequited old closet case.

Or, at least I hope he's an unrequited closet case and hasn't plied any of his ardor with his young charges, or any other minors for that matter.

I do hope that the current acceptability of "coming out" not only continues, but is allowed by society to become "normal," and no longer any kind of big deal. I strongly suspect, although without any evidence, that at least some homosexual pedophiles are pedophiles due to a pathology caused by never allowing their closeted sexual attractions to mature, now being stuck somewhere in psychosexual adolescence themselves.

___________________
If a picture is worth 1000 words, this is at least part of my story.

Of two minds here

One, it is horrible to have to encounter the trash of humanity like this, totally ruins the day. Two, having the opportunity to slay dragons of the past, well that is priceless.

This is not over though, I suspect, as Danny is still there and he is at the mercy of this scum and if he can't over come Cathy directly, he is not beyond going after what is hers.

Kim

The Riposte of the Century...

Andrea Lena's picture

I’m not queer, just slightly extraordinary, ever so slightly.



Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

It is barely possible,

he might be a better person after this. But the thing is, he started it and wasn't prepared for the composed young lady who replaced the abused scared transgendered boy he chose to pick on.

You were a tease in high

You were a tease in high school, had the teacher lusting after you. did you ? Instead of repairing the balloon on the side of the aorta, You should have raised his blood pressure, then watch him deflate, after it blew. I'm a blood thirsty one, ain't I .Least I don't fire arrows through people.

Cefin