Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1259.

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1259
by Angharad

Copyright © 2011 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
-Dormouse-001.jpg

The last thing I remember last night was cleaning my teeth again before falling asleep. I completely zonked waking at about the same time as the alarm clock switched on the Today programme on Radio 4.

I listened to the news headlines before opening my eyes. I looked at Simon and he was awake and beaming at me. “You were good last night, Missus.”

I blushed. “This trouble in Egypt looks pretty serious,” I said latching on to the main story of the news bulletin.

“Wanna suck my lollipop?” he said and I immediately went even redder.

“If you tell anyone about last night, it will suddenly become a never repeated act.”

“Why? It’s what wives do for their husbands, lovers and so on.”

“I have to get up and get the girls ready for school.”

“Sure you don’t want a little lick? Just one mind you.”

“Simon, you’re heading for a punch on the nose.”

“Why, it’s only like licking an ice cream?”

“Is it now, and how would you know that?”

Now it was his turn to blush, “Well, that’s what they say, isn’t it?”

“I suspect, they, whoever they actually are, have only ever completed the theory part of the course.”

“Oh–so wasn’t it like, ice cream?” he looked crestfallen.

“Simon, ice cream is cold.”

“Oh yeah, how about baked Alaska?”

“That is meringue, Simon, the ice cream inside it is still cold.”

“Yeah, okay.” He hesitated, “Was it nice for you?”

“Simon, I wish you’d think before you speak.” I went to the bathroom thinking, I need to take my own advice–if I had, I wouldn’t be facing this interrogation now.

I showered and after towelling myself dry slipped on some clothes. He was still lying in bed with a beatific smile on his face. I shook my head. What is it with boys and their toys?

I roused the girls who were all awake and reading. “Are we all going to have a lollipop or ice cream from Daddy, Mummy?” asked Trish.

“You shouldn’t listen to other people’s conversations, it’s rude,” I said ordering them into the shower. Half an hour later I had four girls dried and dressed as I plaited their nearly dry hair. Billie’s was growing quite quickly, mind you I hadn’t thought too much about it before, when it looked scruffy I used to ask Stella to trim it.

Danny followed us down the stairs shouting something back at Julie as he did. Breakfast was organised chaos or should that be chaotic organisation? Then again everyone got fed and watered, even I had time for a cuppa, some toast and a banana.

“No porridge today?” observed Simon as he came into the kitchen. I could smell my shower gel on him–I must remember to get some more of his, then he won’t use mine. I glared at him and he smiled at me.

I bustled about the kitchen making sure everyone had eaten as much as they should when Julie darted off to go to the salon, taking the sandwich I’d made for her–she loves peanut butter–horrible stuff–but then I don’t have to eat it, and it isn’t exactly arduous to slap on a couple of pieces of wholemeal bread, pop in a bag with some crisps an apple and a chocolate bar. She snatched her lunch box, pecked me on the cheek, “Thanks, Mummy, you’re a star,” she disappeared out to get her scooter and off to work.

Simon had just settled down to eat his cereal–mushy Weetabix, when Trish dropped her bombshell. “May I have a lollipop like you gave to Mummy?”

It’s going to take weeks to get the Weetabix off the fridge and the worktops.

I quietly left the room while he talked his way out of that one. I just had to go to the loo and I couldn’t hold the laughter any longer. I sat weeing, biting on a towel as I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. Poor Simon, he nearly choked to death and all I wanted to do was laugh–it was so funny.
I managed to control myself, wash my face, again, and pop on a bit of lippy and mascara. I used a bright red lipstick and when I went back into the kitchen I caught Simon alone and pretended to lick something. He went deep beetroot before withdrawing to finish getting dressed for work.

“You don’t usually wear red lipstick, Mummy,” observed Livvie.

“It goes quite well with my red jacket don’t you think?” I had on a red, worsted Laura Ashley jacket.

“I think it wooks sexy, Mummy.” We all knew what Meems thought, quite why she thought it, I wasn’t sure.

“Daddy says you’re sexy, Mummy?” How I missed the cyclist, I’ll never know. but Billie’s comment made me momentarily lose it. Did Simon discuss me with the children? I hoped not.

“What d’you mean, darling?” I fired back hopefully as casually as I could make it sound.

“He told us you are the sexiest woman alive.” Billie repeated.

“Did he now?” I’m not sure I like being compared with anyone but at least he was defending me.

“Yeah, there was a thing on the internet with Rhianna doing her stuff and she’s supposed to be super sexy, we all watched it and Cheryl Cole’s new one and asked Daddy which was sexier? He said you were the sexiest woman alive.”

“I’m not sure you should be watching those sorts of videos, girls–they can give the wrong impression of how to behave.”

“We have competitions in the lunch break to see who can do the sexiest wiggle and walk.” I thanked Livvie for this information and wondered if I should say something to the headmistress. I didn’t want my six and ten year old children to become sex objects–at the same time, providing they were treating it like a game, I couldn’t say too much–it would only make things worse. Life is such a quandary.

I saw them to the school and went back to grab some shopping on the way home. When I arrived at home delighted that I’d got a three pack of glossy tights for a bargain price when Stella met me at the door.

“What’s the matter?”

“The school rang, can you go and see them, Danny’s been fighting.” Stella shrugged and took the shopping.

“Can you make a new loaf, Stella? I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I walked briskly back to the car and drove straight to Danny’s school.

I spoke to the secretary, “Hello, I’m Danny Maiden’s mother, someone rang home about him having been involved in a fight.”

“Oh yes, he’s at the hospital.”

“What? What happened?” The word knife came to mind and I almost imagined him lying somewhere bleeding profusely.

“I’m not sure, but he got bumped on the nose and we couldn’t stop it bleeding, so one of the teachers took him to the QA.”

“Why was he fighting?”

“I don’t know, Mrs Maiden.”

“Actually, my name is Cameron, not Maiden.”

“Oh, sorry.” She looked at something on her computer, “Oops, we have that down too, sorry about that, Lady Cameron.” She apologised with her mouth but her look was one of why isn’t he in a private school?

“I’m a Guardian reader,” I said and went back into the corridor where I called the QA and spoke to A&E. They’d patched him up and he was either on his way home or back to school. I’d just cancelled that call and about to phone Stella when she rang me.

“He’s home, with two lovely shiners and a very red nose.”

“I’m just going to try and find out what this was all about from the school’s point of view.”

“I see, so if it’s not satisfactory, you gonna send him to the convent, too?”

“I think that may be pushing the envelope a bit too hard.” I rang off and waited to speak with the teacher in charge of the play ground who was presumably the one on duty when the fracas happened.

I turned around when I heard the secretary telling someone I was waiting in the corridor and nearly fell over.

“Well, well, Charlie Watts, you have changed.” We recognised each other immediately.

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Comments

Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1259

Now I know what to get Simon for his birthday, a lollipop.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Now I wonder

if the person from the past is going to try to make life hell again, or not. And what position is he. An aggrieved parent, or the school super? More complications. And if Danny looks that bad, what about the other kid? I reckon we will find out some more this week. Get'em A&B.

Wouldn't Be Wise

Cathy has way too much power (economic and connections) behind her for most people to mess with her (and come out of it unscathed). Of course she routinely comes across idiots which keeps the action going.

Lollipops???

ALISON

That is the best laugh I have had for yonks.Thank you!

ALISON

forget that

I just reacted 'oh ****'

Yep!

Made me laugh as well.

They say one should leave the bedroom door always ajar incase the kids grow up feeling rejected if the door is closed. After that little cameo I'm having second thoughts though it's a bit previous now mine are both in their thirties.

Good one Angie.

Love and hugs.

Bev.

Growing old disgracefully.

bev_1.jpg

ROTFLMAO to Nuclear Warfare !

Angharad was laying in wait for me, because I almost had to use my Asthma Inhaler over the Lolly incident and then some soon to be dead, plonker opens his yap!

If this was real .... Sigh!!!

Khadijah

Life's never dull...

...in the Agnew / Cameron / Watts household! First up, a classic case of little pigs having big ears (and no doubt a big pig having a very big mouth - not only in making his bedroom comments loud enough to be heard by the girls in the adjacent bedroom, but the nature of his effusive praise for his wife!), then someone at Danny's school beating him up (I don't suppose there's an independent boys'/co-ed school anywhere near the convent school?), then bumping into someone from a previous life (fellow student at Sussex?). It's a good job Charlie's a fairly unisex name - although Cathy did do a local TV interview a few years back 'outing' herself, nobody she's met since appears to have watched it - as I'm not sure if the staff at Danny's school are aware of Cathy's background, so a more masculine first name could have caused further problems and made it virtually impossible for Danny to continue at the school (not that his future there's already looking in doubt if the source / motivation for the bullying can't be discovered quickly)

I'm assuming it was a case of bullying, as I doubt an ordinary playground scuffle would cause a pupil to be hospitalised, and as far as we know the other pupil involved didn't end up at the QA. Oh, and let's hope Stella's skills at prophecy are as bad as her driving skills :)

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Lollipop

I'm old enough (sigh!) to remember the 1958 hit by the Chordettes although that was nowhere near as entertaining as Simon's version.

Nice one A+B+I.

S.

Lollipop, lollipop pop, pop!

Right there with you Susan. 1958, hummm, it only seems like 53 years ago. :( Jan Was a cute little song back then tho and actually still is as I hear it now and then on my 5 channel on Sirus Sat radio.
Try this website (FREE) if you are interested, www.tropicalglen.com It is a music site that offers you nearly all the music from the 30's thru the 90's in all genre's. You simply pick a year or 4 years and the "jukebox" will play (randomly) the top songs of that year or genre. If you minimize the screen, the music will still play in the background while you are working on other stuff on your computer. Again, it is FREE, and that is the best deal you will get these days. :) Jan

Pandora Works The Same Way

[email protected] There is a 'Pay' part of the site that's commercial-free, but for the price? I can stand a few ads. It's totally customizable. Song/Artist/genre? doesn't matter. Thumbs up or down works. They will give you a time-out if you get too picky.(grins)

Love And Hugs,
Jonelle

I just about choked

at the lollipop and ice cream comment from the little ones!

You know, sadly though, there are men who actually believe that sperm actually tastes good and is pleasant. At best it is a bit of salty lubricant taste/feel and is far from being gourmet fare. I see a lot of silly fantasies about that over the sites too and one just has to shake their heads at such silliness. Women do it as a token of love and that is all!

Kim

Oh good, sounds like a

Oh good, sounds like a potential a -hole from the past is on the scene. Probably the coach or gym teacher.

How would Danny look in a skirt and blouse at the convent school?

CaroL

CaroL

The unknown acquaintance.

Contrary to what some have speculated, I don't detect any malice (yet) in that comment - after all, it's a simple statement of fact, and without knowing the acquaintance's facial expressions or intonation, it's impossible to judge their attitude.

It's just as likely (if not more so) that they're impressed by Cathy's current appearance compared to back then, and the comment was a (perhaps ill-judged) ice-breaker. Don't forget, Cathy's met one school friend (Siân) and several Sussex Uni acquaintances so far, and the only negative comments have been from Luke Perryman and Dilly (partner of Abi Alexander - Abi herself was very supportive of Cathy).

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

OH SHIT !

I don't need any more. Beings as the law is a bit different in the UK, I hope she has his bloody balls !!!

There is always someone around competing to be the biggest ass in all of friggen creation.

Breath deeply, be calm Khadijah

K

Laughed over the lollipop thing

but surprised anyone would "recognize" Cathy as Charlie.

Nice stopping point Angharad. Have to compliment you on your ability to keep your fans coming back for more.

Cathy

One thing after all that's happened to Cathy, was illistrated in this last chapter all too well. Why is Cathy so sexually regressed ? I mean, she seemss to treat sex as a duty, to do, not something fun, She often uses sex against Simon as a weapon, even if she's upset at something,someone else. she seems very sexually repressed for someone whom claims to be in love & still in 1st of marraige.
(very wierd)

Intriguing last line

Wonder if this meeting will prove to be bad news or good news for Cathy?

Kirri

The Lollipop Incident...

...is a genuinely funny piece of writing, and you really had me laughing when I read it.

Cathy and Simon (and the other adults) really are going to have to be careful with their conversations—those that they don't want the children knowing about, anyway. Just before this, we had the "Lady Di's dead," situation, so there ought to be a lesson here that they can learn from.

Thanks A+B+I (assorted breakfasts): that's a sneaky, two-paragraph cliffhanger you've sprung on us. Obviously Cathy's recognised the teacher—and we don't even know their gender, yet. Given how much Cathy has changed, like others here, I'm surprised that she was recognised, and can't help wonder whether it's someone from her university days (undergrad or masters).

Oh drat, I guess I'm just going to have to wait for the next Bikesode to find out.

Past Similitudes


Bike Resources

Opps,

The past has come back to bite her. Doesn't sound like a friend though, I dislike him already.

Oh, no, now what ?

Does that qualify for a kiss on the cheek, or a kick in the crutch ?
Back to our normal cliff hangers, I see.

Cefin