Audra: A New Life -4- Being Afraid

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Synopsis:

What makes a girl behave like a girl? What makes a bully?

Audra: A New Life

by Joanne Foxcourt

Part 4 - Being Afraid

Story:

All the usual copyright and "viewing if you're legal" rules apply. There is no sex in this story, the character is far too young, but there is implied violence. It is a work of fiction and all the characters are fictional, any similarities to the living are chance.

Chapter 17: I'm a model, you know what I mean...

Audra groaned, "Again? I had to try them all on in the store."

"We didn't see it," Dana noted in a way that ended the debate.

The girls followed Audra to her room. "Cool room!" Julie stated as they entered, her eyes seeing the blend of the boy and the girl.

"Where's the makeup?" Dana asked suddenly as Julie made a bee-line to the closet.

"Makeup?" Audra looked surprised.

"Yeah, you have a makeup table with no makeup?"

"Is that what that table is?"

"Sure, the mirrors and lights help you see what you're doing. What did you think it was?"

Audra shrugged, "I never really thought about it."

"Hey! Check out this dress, it's gorgeous!" Julie exclaimed, pulling out the pink, satin, dress that Audra had first tried on at Top Dress.

"Audra looks great in that," Susie told them.

"Oh, show us!" Julie insisted.

Audra gathered up the dress and petticoats and started towards the bathroom trying not to look like a condemned prisoner going to their execution.

"Where are you going?" Susie asked.

"To get changed," Audra responded.

"Change here, we'll help with the petticoats and zippers."

"But..."

"Audra, relax, it's just girls here and you have no surprises."

"But... okay," Audra sighed, realizing that she probably would need help with this particular dress. Blushing, she took off her outer clothing as Susie prepared the petticoats for Audra.

Dana peered at Audra intently. "Wow, it is true," She remarked, seeing that Audra didn't have the tell-tale bulge in her underwear that even young boys have.

"What do you mean?" Audra asked.

"Um... well... I mean, what we heard today was pretty intense, you know, and until you really see, it seems hard to... you know... believe," Dana stammered.

"Satisfied?"

"I'm sorry, Audra. I didn't mean it in a bad way. It's not like everyday you hear of such things, you know."

"It's okay. I forgive you," Audra sighed. She realized that she was going to face this disbelief for some time.

Audra stepped into the petticoats that Susie held out as Julie held up the dress. Once the petticoats were tied off, Audra then pulled the dress over her shoulders and tugged it down into place. Susie then zipped up the back.

The three other girls stepped back. "Wow," Dana remarked, "That looks great on you!"

"Do you have shoes for it?" Julie asked.

"I do, just a sec..." Audra dug around for the shoes and held them up.

"Well, put them on silly!" Julie laughed.

Blushing from the laugh, Audra put on the shoes and, once again, felt that off-balance pull of the heels.

"Oh yeah, that's gorgeous," Dana said and was echoed with nods from the other two. "Okay, walk around a bit."

Audra tried walking in the heels, but her gait was unsteady.

"Um... You need some help with walking in heels," Dana stated.

"No guff!" Audra exclaimed.

"Okay, the problem is that you walk like a boy. You can't clomp around in heels like you're a horse, you have to try and glide a little. You want to have your toe come down just ever so slightly before your heel. You might have to wiggle your hips a bit too."

Audra tried following the instructions.

"Hey, I said wiggle, not vibrate!" Dana corrected. "Here, I'll show you."

Audra kicked off the heels and Dana tried them on. They weren't a perfect fit, but close enough for the demonstration. Dana then began walking with a slight swaying motion in her hips, not very exaggerated, but just enough to help her balance on the heel.

"Do you see?" Dana asked Audra.

"I think so," Audra responded dubiously.

"Okay, try again."

Audra slipped on the shoes and tried the instructions again, taking a few steps with much less wobble than before.

"Much better! You need to practice though," Dana praised.

"These shoes aren't very comfortable."

"The price of beauty, my dear," Dana claimed as she fluffed her hair to the giggles of the others. "Men love heels on women. I think it's wired into their brains."

"It's starting to get late, girls. You should probably start getting ready for bed," Marianne told them from the doorway. "I'll help Audra out of her new dress. She needs to look after a few things before she joins you. Okay?"

"Okay mom." "Okay Mrs. Wilson."

Chapter 18: Aren't we a team?

Mike Davidson had felt pretty bad about the way he had treated Audra, or failed to treat Audra. He had let her down and that was bothering him. It was with that frame of mind that he showed up at his baseball practice as Audra and her sister were heading to the playgrounds that day.

"Hey, Davidson, how's your boyfriend?" Bobby Grant taunted Mike as he arrived.

"Fuck you, Grant."

"What's the matter? You don't like it when we tease your boyfriend?"

"First, Audra is a girl. Second, she's my friend, not my girlfriend."

Bobby and his cronies just laughed at him. "Yeah, right, Davidson. You're just another fairy, like Wilson."

Mike snapped. Already feeling bad about how he had failed to come to Audra's rescue the first time, he was primed to fight the second time. Jumping Bobby, he started swing hard and his fury overwhelmed the other boy. Before any major damage could be done, Mike was yanked off of Bobby.

"What's going on here?" Daniel Clarke, their coach demanded.

"This nutcase just jumped me and started swinging," Bobby insisted.

"Mike?"

"He was making fun of Audra, like before."

"Who?" Coach Clarke asked.

"Audra, I mean, Aaron."

"I don't understand. Aaron? Audra?"

"Call my mom, she can explain," Mike insisted.

"You and Bobby stay here, the rest of you I want to you do five laps around the field," Coach Clarke instructed as he took out his cell phone and dialed Mike's parents. "Hi, June? Daniel Clarke here... Well, Mike and Bobby Grant got into a fight and I'm trying to figure out why... Mike was talking about Aaron being Audra or something like that..."

Mike and Bobby watched their coach as he listened to the explanation. It was pretty obvious to the two of them that the coach was shaken by what he heard.

"I see... That's terrible. Thanks June... No, I'll settle it." Coach Clarke hung up.

Coach Clarke turned to regard the two boys. "What happened? And it had better be the truth."

"Bobby was making fun of Audra, calling her names and stuff," Mike insisted.

"Is this true?" Coach Clarke asked Bobby.

"Hey, I was just joking around," Bobby replied defensively. "I didn't mean nothing by it."

"It's not the first time! Just after Audra got out of the hospital, Bobby teased her and threatened to beat her up if she came around here again."

"Again, is this true?"

"I was just joking," Bobby muttered.

"You're off the team," Coach Clarke told him.

"What?!? You can't do that!" Bobby cried.

"I can do what I want. This is a team and you have damaged it. If you can't support your teammate in a time of crisis, you're of no use to us. That Audra had no choice in this matter makes it even worse in my opinion and I won't have you on this team because of it. Take your things and go."

"Another faggot lover like Davidson is all you are!" Bobby swore at him. "I'll get even with you, Davidson, you watch out." Bobby took off out of the park at a run.

***

At the end of the practice, Coach Clarke gathered the players together. "Alright, I've kicked Bobby Grant off the team. A teammate was very seriously hurt and spent many weeks in the hospital. This teammate went through a life-changing experience that I think none of us would ever want to face. I think you all know that Aaron was changed into a girl because of these injuries."

Coach Clarke paused and looked around at the faces gathered about. "Instead of supporting and helping a teammate, Bobby Grant chose to ridicule and threaten. That is not how teams work, especially teams that I coach. I'm going to make this crystal clear to all of you: I will not tolerate the kicking of a teammate when he or she is down. Aaron is now Audra and she should be able to expect the support of her teammates through this crisis. If you can't do this, don't show up for the next game. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir!" chorused the team.

***

Mike was cornered after the coach left. "It's your fault, Davidson!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You got Bobby kicked off the team for that freak," asserted David Ames, one of Bobby's cronies.

Before Mike could answer, several of his other teammates stepped in. "The coach is right and you assholes don't deserve to be on this team," Jason Stewart, the team captain, told them.

"Yeah? Well fuck you. We ain't going to be screwed around with for some fairy freak. You can keep your faggot team," David told him as he and his friends stalked off.

"Good riddance," Jason muttered.

Chapter 19: How do you feel?

"How did the sleepover go?" Sheila Coulson asked Audra.

"Okay, I guess," Audra replied. "It's not the same."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when Mike and I did sleepovers, we'd play video games or something. This one was talking and trying on clothes."

"Did that bother you?"

"No. I don't think so. It just didn't feel right," Audra mused as she played with the hem of her shorts.

"Because it was girls?"

"I guess."

"How do you feel?" Sheila asked.

"I don't know. Sometimes I feel okay."

"Sometimes?"

"When I forget."

"When you forget?"

"That I'm a girl now. Sometimes I forget that and I feel better until I remember."

"It takes time, Audra."

"I know. I pray every night."

"To feel better about this?"

"No, to become a boy again," Audra revealed. "It never happens though."

"Is being a girl so bad?"

"No, but being a boy is better."

"Why?"

"I don't know, it just is, I can't explain why."

Sheila looked at her young patient thoughtfully. "You know that there's nothing that you can't do as a girl that you could do as a boy," Sheila mentioned.

***

"Come in Audra," Doctor Caine smiled as Audra and Marianne dutifully followed him into the examination room. "How do you feel?"

"I'm okay Doctor Caine."

"Have a seat," Doctor Caine smiled again. "Have you been keeping up with your stents?"

Audra nodded.

"Good. Are they still causing you pain or is it getting better?"

"It's getting better."

"Okay Audra, if you can get changed into the gown behind the screen, we'll take a look and see if everything is healed up correctly."

***

Marianne stroked her daughter's hair as she felt Audra's grip on her hand tighten as the doctor examined her in the stirrups. Tears of both pain and humiliation streamed down Audra's cheeks and Marianne's heart nearly broke as she watched her former son face an experience should would have never have dreamed of.

***

The doctor helped Audra up and gave her some Kleenex. "I'm sorry Audra. I know that was difficult, but it was necessary. You've healed nicely and I'm very pleased about that. Why don't you get dressed now?" Doctor Caine told her sympathetically.

Audra nodded as she dried her tears and went behind the screen to get changed.

"Everything is fine, then, Doctor Caine?" Marianne asked.

"It is. I'll need to re-examine her in six months and then we can move to annual examinations. It's important, though, that she continue the hygiene and stents routine that she has been doing. We should have the blood tests back in a couple of days, but I think everything there will be fine as well. Audra looks quite healthy and robust."

Marianne smiled gratefully. "I have to take her back up to Sheila now. She wanted to talk to her after this appointment."

"Very wise."

***

"How do you feel?"

Audra burst into tears. "That was horrible!"

Sheila put her arms around Audra and allowed her to cry herself out for a few minutes. "How do you feel now?"

Audra sniffled, "Better, I guess."

"That's good. Sometimes a good cry helps. You should remember that. Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's embarrassing."

"I know. No woman enjoys that experience."

"You have to do it too?" Audra asked, surprised.

"Oh yes, it's a fact of life for women. It's a little different for you, but not much different, and you are younger than most."

Somehow, knowing that this wasn't an experience unique to her, Audra felt better. "Thank you, Sheila."

"For what?"

"For making me feel not alone."

"You're welcome, Audra."

Chapter 20: How dare you!

"Hey, Clarke! I want a word with you!"

Daniel Clarke sighed as he turned around in the grocery store to face Robert Grant, Bobby's father. "What can I do for you Robert?" Daniel had been expecting to hear from Robert Grant ever since he had thrown Bobby off the team. He had, however, been hoping for a less public confrontation.

"What right did you have to throw my son off the team?"

"I'm the coach, that's what right."

"He didn't do anything wrong!"

"I beg to differ. He verbally assaulted and threatened a teammate and I won't stand for that."

"He denies it."

"I have plenty of witnesses."

"That person isn't even a teammate!"

"Audra is still a teammate even if she can't play. I won't tolerate players on my team treating each other in that manner, especially after what Audra went through."

"How dare you defend some freak of science over my son!"

Daniel stiffened. "This conversation is ended. I have made my decision and Bobby is no longer a member of this team. Take your bigotry, Mister Grant, somewhere else."

"You haven't heard the last of this, Clarke."

***

"Daniel! Come in! It's nice to see you again," Marianne smiled as she opened the front door.

"Hi Mari, how are you doing? How's Audra?" Daniel Clarke asked.

"We're both fine. What brings you around for a visit?"

"I needed to talk to you and James about some recent events. Is he around?"

"He's in the sitting room, reading," said Marianne as she led Daniel to the room.

***

"So, what's the problem Dan?" James asked.

"It's not a problem, as such, but I thought I should talk to you about Bobby Grant and his father."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I kicked Bobby off the baseball team yesterday."

"I see..."

"He's been quite malicious towards Audra, and Mike Davidson for defending her. I don't tolerate that amongst teammates."

"I take it Robert confronted you?" asked James.

Daniel nodded, "Today, in the grocery store. There's a lot of hate there, I thought you should know."

"I don't understand why they hate Audra," stated Marianne. "She's done nothing to them!"

"I don't understand either, Mari," Daniel agreed. "Is Audra around? I should talk to her as well. Unfortunately, I have to tell her the bad news."

"I don't think she's realized it yet," Marianne sighed. "I'll go get her."

***

"Hi Coach Clarke, you wanted to see me?" Audra asked as she entered the sitting room.

"Hi Audra, I did."

"I can't play anymore, can I?" Audra asked with sudden realization.

Daniel sighed, "I'm afraid no,t Audra. I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to tell you this. You're still a teammate though and we'd like you to be a part of that, but it's a boy's league and... well..." He waved his arms helplessly.

"I understand. Would you excuse me, please?" Audra asked.

Daniel nodded, looking sad as Audra fled the room.

***

"What's the matter?" Susie asked from the doorway as Audra cried into her pillow.

"I can't play ball anymore!" Audra cried at her.

"Why?"

"It's a boy's league!"

"Oh," Susie replied as she suddenly realized that fact. "Can't you play in a girl's league?"

"There aren't any around here and besides, it's not the same."

"That sucks!" Susie pronounced.

"I hate being a girl! Hate it!" Audra spat.

"I can't talk to you like this."

"Too bad."

"Audra, it's not my fault. It's not Coach Clarke's either. It's nobody's fault, it just is."

"I don't care. Sheila told me I could do anything I want as a girl, but I can't even play baseball with my team!"

"She didn't mean it that way. She meant that girls can play ball too, in their leagues." Susie told her.

"It's stupid!"

"Yeah, it is, but that's the rules. Look, girls have gotten along without baseball for a long time. There are other things, you know."

"Like what? Dolls and dress-up?" Audra asked sarcastically.

"That can be fun. Did you have such a bad time last night?"

Audra paused. "No."

"Did you have fun?"

"I... I guess so..." Audra said, starting to look thoughtful.

"See, there are things," Susie declared.

"I love baseball! You don't understand!"

"No, I don't! So what if you can't play baseball? You can do other things!" Susie shouted.

"Leave me alone!" Audra cried, turning back to her pillow.

"Argh!" Susie stomped from the room.

Chapter 21: Why people hate

"Get in here boy!" Robert Grant shouted at his son.

Bobby Grant reluctantly dragged himself into the living room of his house. He knew what was coming and dreaded it more than anything.

"Are you some kind of freak? Are you?" Robert shouted.

"I'm sorry," Bobby mumbled.

"Sorry don't cut it. I didn't raise my son to be some sort of pussy! What did I tell you would happen last time you did this?"

"I don't remember..." Bobby remembered all to well, but fear of his father held his tongue.

Robert removed his belt from around his waist. "Pull down your pants. If I can't teach you to be a man, I'll beat it into you!"

Bobby slowly, and reluctantly, undid his pants and pulled them down from his waist.

"Again?!? Holy shit boy!"

Bobby's face went red from embarrassment and shame even as Robert's fist connected with Bobby's cheek. As he started to lose consciousness from his father's beating, all he could hear was "you fucking freak" over and over again.

***

"Why do you do it Bobby?" Amy, Bobby's sister asked as he came to in the living room with the sounds of his father shouting at his mother in the distance. She was tenderly wiping his face with a cold wash cloth, hoping to keep the bruising on his face from swelling too much.

"I don't know. I can't help it," he whispered as he struggled to pull up his pants without losing consciousness again.

Robert stormed back into the living room. "Get your pansy ass upstairs and get changed. If I catch you in your sister's panties again, I'll rip your dick off and make you look like that Wilson freak. Have you got it?"

Bobby nodded as he pulled himself up and slowly made his way from the room.

***

"I hate him."

"Me too," Amy replied. Both were avoiding their father as best they could after Bobby had gotten changed.

"I'm going to kill him," Bobby stated quietly.

"And become like him?"

"What else can I do?"

"Why did you pick on Audra?" Amy suddenly asked.

"He'd beat me if I didn't."

Amy nodded.

"He hates Audra because he thinks that's what I'll become."

"Do you hate her?"

"No, but her just being there makes my life hell."

"Yeah. You're going to have a wicked shiner," Amy noted.

"I know. That bastard."

***

"Good afternoon. Doctor Coulson's office," Sheila said as she answered the phone.

"Sheila? It's Marianne Wilson calling," Marianne said from the other end of the connection.

"Marianne! What can I do for you? Is everything okay with Audra?"

"Audra's fine, though a bit upset at not being able to play baseball with her old team. That's not why I called though."

"What's the matter?"

"Audra's former coach stopped by. One of her ex-teammates has been really rough on her and was kicked off the team. His father confronted the coach and said some really nasty things about Audra. Nasty enough that the coach thought he should warn us. He said that the hate there was very real."

"Hate is a very strong term," Sheila noted. "People don't usually develop that kind of issue without something in their background to cause it. Do you have any idea why?"

"I wish I did. Robert Grant, the father, is quite a well-respected businessman, though he has a reputation for being difficult to work with. I don't know why he would have such hate without even knowing Audra, and why he would push his son in that direction."

"Is he abusive?"

"I don't know. Judy, his wife, is pretty shy at social functions. She seldom talks much to anyone," Marianne told her.

"That's not a good sign. It sometimes indicates an abusive household."

"Really? She doesn't look abused."

"Abuse isn't always physical. I have some friends in the Social Services department and I'm going to ask them to check out this Robert Grant. This sort of reaction to an uncontrolled injury is suspicious."

"Thank you, Sheila," Marianne replied.

"My pleasure. Say hello to Audra for me."

"I will," Marianne promised as the two hung up.

Chapter 22: Signs

Audra answered the ring of the doorbell. "Mike!"

"Hey, Audra, how's it going?" Mike asked.

"Okay, I guess."

"The team heard. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I should have figured it out," Audra told him.

"Coach Clarke kicked Bobby off the team."

"He did? Why?"

"Because Bobby was picking on you."

"Oh no!"

"Why? It's good that Bobby is off the team," Mike stated.

"It's only going to make it worse."

Mike thought about that for a second, "Maybe."

"No 'maybe' about it."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to go swimming?" Audra asked suddenly.

***

"Missus Grant?" The lady at the door asked.

"Yes?" Judy Grant asked, curious at a having a caller early on a Wednesday. Robert had already left for work and the two kids were in the kitchen eating.

"Good morning, I'm sorry to disturb you. My name is June Marsden and I'm from the Social Services department."

"My goodness! Please, come in. What brings you around to our house?"

"Thank you, Missus Grant," June replied as she entered. "Well, this is a difficult thing to discuss, but we've received some tips about your husband that has us quite concerned."

Judy Grant stiffened, "What sort of tips?"

"The person who contacted us has reason to believe that your husband may be abusing your children."

***

"Who's at the door?" Amy asked as Bobby peeked through from the kitchen.

"Some stranger, I've never seen her before."

"Weird."

"Shut up, I'm trying to listen," Bobby instructed.

***

"I think your caller must be mistaken," Judy Grant replied woodenly.

"That's what we're trying to ascertain," June Marsden replied gently. "Please believe me, we don't simply come calling unless our information has some credibility."

"Well, whoever they are, they're wrong!"

June studied the other woman closely. Judy Grant was showing some definite signs of somebody who was experiencing a lot of fear. Her eyes darted about and her hands were wringing endlessly. "I see," June commented.

"I think you had better leave."

"Alright, Missus Grant. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

***

Mike followed Audra up to her room. "Did you bring your suit?" Audra asked.

"Uh huh, like I usually do," Mike replied.

Audra dug out her new swimsuit from her dresser. "I'll change in the bathroom. Knock when you're dressed," she told Mike as she headed to her bathroom. Audra examined the one piece swimsuit in front of her. It was a light blue, medium leg cut, with cross-over straps at the back. "This is going to feel weird," she muttered as she climbed out of her shorts and top.

As she tugged the suit on, she heard the knock at the door. "Be right out," she told Mike. Pulling the suit into place, she examined herself in the mirror. Staring back was that cute girl again. Audra stuck out her tongue and was rewarded with the same in return. Giggling at her private joke, she left the bathroom.

"You look good," Mike told her.

"Yech! You're supposed to be my best friend, not admiring me!" Audra told him, laughing.

Mike shrugged, "Girls have cooties anyways, but you look good." He smiled as Audra punched him on the arm.

"Let's go swimming before I kill you!" Audra told him. Laughing, they ran down to the pool.

***

"I'm sure of it," June Marsden told Sheila over the phone.

"How sure are you ,June?" Sheila Coulson asked.

"The signs are there, she was incredibly nervous and fearful, more than I would have expected under the circumstances. I also caught a glimpse of her son as he tried to listen in on us."

"What did you see?"

"The boy had a definite bruise on his face."

"I understand that he's something of a bully, it may just be from a fight."

"Perhaps, but his being a bully is another sign."

"It's thin, June, very thin," Sheila noted.

"I know, but instinct is nagging me on this one."

"Your instincts are usually sound."

***

Audra and Mike splashed around the pool. Mike hadn't said anything, but he was still stunned from Audra's appearance. If he had harbored any doubts that Audra was a girl, they were gone. Audra definitely did not have the body of a boy.

"Hey! Pool party?" Susie shouted from the patio doors.

"Sure!" Audra shouted back as Mike nodded in agreement. Susie ducked back inside to make some phone calls.

Chapter 23: It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to...

By the time Susie had finished making phone calls, a crowd of pre-teen and early teen kids had already arrived. It was one of those hot summer days that just seemed to create the need for kids to be a pool and all of them jumped at the chance to swim in the Wilson pool, widely acknowledged to be the best in the neighborhood.

Susie and Dana dragged a cooler full of ice and pop from the patio door as Julie plugged in the stereo and tuned it to a local radio station. Shortly, loud teeny-bopper music came pouring out of the speakers as Ken, who was sent out to supervise, winced in pain. Ken was a classic rock fanatic and found modern music to be formulaic, repetitive, and boring. Sighing to himself, Ken settled into a lawn chair. This is going to be a long day, he thought to himself.

Audra climbed out of the pool and went to lounge on one of the chairs. She was still feeling self-conscious about her appearance, especially in something as revealing as a bathing suit, but she figured that nobody would pay attention to her while she was on the chairs.

"Hey."

Apparently, Audra decided to herself, I was wrong. She looked up to see the smiling face of Jason Stewart looking down towards her. "Hey Jase, how's it going?"

Jason sat down in the chair beside her. "It's going good," he mentioned.

"Cool."

"It's true, huh?" Jason asked.

Audra sighed. "Yes, it's true."

Jason grunted in a typical boyish manner. "What's it like?"

"What is what like?" Audra asked, looking at him.

"Being a girl, I guess."

"What do you think it's like?" Audra asked crossly.

"I dunno. I'm sorry. I don't mean it that way. It's just, well..."

"I hate it."

"Why?" Jason asked before he could stop himself.

Audra stared at him.

"I mean," Jason stammered, "you're pretty and smart..."

"You think I'm pretty?" Audra asked, incredulous.

"Well, yeah, I do."

"Um... I'll be right back." Audra fled to the house.

Susie watched her sister run to the house as she stomped up to where Jason was sitting. "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing!" Jason replied, defensively. "I just said that she was pretty."

Susie rolled her eyes, "Boys!"

"What?!?" Jason looked around. "I don't get it!"

Susie ran after her sister.

***

"Audra, what's the problem?" Susie asked after she had caught up.

"Nothing." Audra replied tersely.

"You're crying! Something must be wrong."

"Nothing is wrong. Nothing!"

"Is it what Jason said?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know!"

"You are, you know. Pretty, I mean," Susie told her.

"He's a boy!" Audra shouted.

"So?"

"I'm a boy!"

"You are not! You're a girl! Why can't you accept the facts?"

Audra raised her tear streaked face and looked at Susie. "I'm neither, I'm a freak. I was made into a girl, but I never wanted to be one. I don't fit in with boys or girls now. I don't know how to be a girl and I'm not allowed to be a boy."

"I..."

"Just leave me alone right now, Susie."

***

Susie wandered back out to the pool party feeling depressed. Jason hadn't meant any harm with his comment, but Audra was obviously still having a hard time and wasn't prepared to hear them.

"Is she okay, Susie?" Jason asked anxiously.

"She'll be okay, just give her a minute," Susie told him.

"What did I do wrong?"

Susie sighed. "Nothing, really. Audra just isn't ready to have a boy tell her she's pretty."

"Oh."

Chapter 24: Acceptance

"Hey, sport! Why aren't you out at the pool?" Ken asked as he wandered into the kitchen.

"I just needed to be alone for a while," Audra told him.

"Is that why you ran off?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? What did Jason say?" Ken asked.

"He said I was pretty," Audra said.

"And?"

"He's a boy!"

"You know, Audra, life didn't end with him telling you that you're pretty."

"I know. It's just that it, well, feels strange."

"You know, more than anything, I wish this hadn't happened," Ken told her seriously.

"Yeah, I know."

"No, you don't. I would have never have wished this on you in a million years, but there is something more special about you now that it's happened."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I can't put my finger on it, but it's there. Other people see it too. I think Jason saw it."

"I don't understand," Audra replied, confused.

"Neither do I. All I know is, as great a guy as Aaron was, Audra has become him and more. Why don't you come back out to the pool and have some fun. You could use some, you know."

Audra nodded absently and Ken could see that she was thinking about what he had said.

***

"Hey, slugger!"

"Daddy! Why are you home?"

"It was a light day at the office, so I decided to take an early day of it. Why the long face?" James asked.

"It's nothing," Audra hedged.

"What happened?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"To me. Give."

Audra proceeded to tell her father the story from the pool and then Ken's chat afterwards. She hadn't gone back to the pool because she had been thinking about what Ken had told her.

"He's right you know," James told his daughter.

"I..."

"Did you know that Ken blames himself for what happened?"

"No!"

"Yes, he does. He feels that since he's your older brother that he should have protected you. He felt it again after that incident at the baseball game."

"Why?"

"Because he loves you. We all love you. All we really want is for you to be happy. It's hard, I know, but it seemed like the best choice of a bad lot."

"I know, I guess, but nothing seems to be right anymore," Audra cried.

James pulled his daughter into a hug. "It takes time. It's time for you to heal, time for you to adapt, and time for everyone else to adapt. You're strong, Audra, I know you can do it."

Audra continued to cry into her father's chest as he gently rocked her. Soon, she fell asleep, but yet he held her.

***

Marianne walked into the kitchen to see her husband cradling a sleeping Audra. Even from the door, Marianne could see that Audra had been crying. "Is she okay?" Marianne whispered.

James nodded. "I think she hit a crisis point today," he whispered back.

"What?"

"Jason told her she was pretty."

Marianne's eyebrows rose as Audra began to wake up. "Good afternoon sleepyhead! Do you feel better?" Marianne asked her kindly.

Audra nodded and that looked suddenly surprised at where she was. "I fell asleep? Here?"

James and Marianne laughed. "You did. slugger," James told her.

"How long?"

"About an hour."

"Thank you, Daddy," Audra said as she kissed her father on the cheek.

"Why don't you go back out to the pool party, Audra?" Marianne suggested.

"Okay, Mommy," Audra agreed as she scampered back out to the pool area.

Marianne raised her eyebrow again. "I think she may have turned a corner," she noted.

James nodded and smiled.

***

Jason looked up as a shadow crossed the chair he was in. "Hey, Jase. Sorry I ran off," Audra told him as she sat down in the chair next to him.

"No prob."

"So, do you really think I'm pretty?"

Jason could only nod and smile.

Chapter 25: I'm So Afraid

Judy Grant fingered the card June Marsden had given her. A very strong part of her wanted to call the woman back and tell her the truth, but she was afraid. Judy Grant lived with a deep fear of her husband, his abuse, but feared being alone and without skills even more. Judy walked into the kitchen and threw the card into the garbage.

"Who was that, Mom?" Bobby asked.

"Nobody. Just a case of mistaken identity," Judy lied.

"Can I go to the park?"

Judy nodded absently, still lost in thought as Bobby took off from the table.

***

Amy Grant dug the card out of the garbage after her mother had left the kitchen and looked at it. "June Marsden, Social Services, Children's Division" it read. Amy pocketed the card and ran up to her room as the card meant salvation for her and Bobby and she wasn't going to let this one get away.

***

"Hey Bobby! Wicked shiner! Did Davidson do that?" David Ames asked as Bobby arrived at the park.

"Shut up, Ames, he didn't do it. Davidson ain't tough enough to give me a shiner," Bobby insisted.

"Where did ya get it then?"

"None of your business and if you don't shut up about it, you'll get your own to enjoy!" Bobby snarled.

"You want to crash the Wilson party?" David asked, deciding that he wasn't that curious about the black eye.

"What party?"

"Pool party. Word got around that they were throwing one."

Bobby sighed mentally. Having picked on Audra to save his own skin with his father, he knew that party was closed to them. "Are you stupid? Ken'll be there."

"Yeah, I guess."

***

It was killing her, but Amy waited for an hour to give June Marsden a chance to get back to her office before slowly picking up the phone in her room. With her hands shaking, Amy punched in the numbers on the card and waited for the ring to be answered.

"Social Services, June Marsden speaking," came the voice at the other end of the line.

"Mrs. Marsden? My name is Amy Grant."

"Amy Grant? Any relation to Judy Grant?" June asked.

"She's my mother. Listen, my brother and I eavesdropped on you this morning," Amy tried to explain.

"I see..."

"My mother was lying to you."

"What do you mean, my dear?" June asked.

"My father does beat us. He beat up my brother yesterday. He gave him a black eye."

"Why?"

"Umm... well..." Amy hesitated.

"Amy, if I'm to help you, I need the truth," June told her seriously.

"Bobby likes to wear girl's clothes!" Amy said in a rush.

June paused at that announcement as she suddenly realized the source of the problems that Sheila's patient Audra was experiencing. "Amy, we need to talk and with police present. Are you prepared to do that?"

"I guess..."

"Okay, Amy, is your brother home?"

"No."

"Can you get him home?"

"I think so," Amy hedged.

"Do your best, dear. I'll be there in an hour," June told her.

"Okay. Bye."

Amy's heart was racing. Conflicting emotions flashed through her as she realized the step she had taken. She felt free, exhilarated, but at the same time incredibly fearful. Placing the phone on the rocker, she raced from her room and went in search of Bobby.

***

"Dr. Coulson speaking," Sheila answered into the phone.

"Sheila, June here. I was right."

"What do you mean?" Sheila asked, surprised at the suddenness of the announcement.

"I just got a call from Amy Grant, Bobby Grant's sister. She claimed that her father was abusive and that he had recently beaten Bobby."

"Oh my God. What are you going to do?"

"I'm heading over to their house with some police. This time, I'll get the truth."

"Go get 'em, tiger!" Sheila told her.

***

Amy had dragged Bobby home just before June Marsden arrived with the police. On the way, she had told him what she had done and why. At first, Bobby was upset at her, his fear of his father made him afraid of making the situation worse.

"Look, Bobby, if we don't do something now, it will get worse!" Amy insisted.

Reluctantly, Bobby finally nodded his agreement as the car from the morning and its police escort arrived outside. Both watched from the windows of Amy's room as the lady walked with two police officers to the front door. The bell rang and they heard their mother's surprised exclamation as she opened the door.

***

"Mrs. Marsden, why are you are here again? And why have you brought the police?" Judy Grant asked after she recovered from her initial surprise. "I've already told you that there is nothing wrong in my house."

"Missus Grant, I know this is difficult for you, but my information has been confirmed by an additional source and it was sufficient to convince the police that there was cause to investigate. I want to help you, Missus Grant, please let me," June pleaded.

Judy Grant felt tears trickle down the corners of her eyes as she whispered, "I'm so afraid."

Notes:

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