Self-made Man, Umm Person - 1

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Self-made Man, Umm Person - Complete Rewrite Chapter One

By BillieBob

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There are so many questions I should have asked myself. Questioning my every thought, action, and reaction. Regrets? Some. Hopes and desires? Quite a few. What if it only took the power of thought to make things possible? Just imagine your future and make it real. If you have the tools to do it. Mainly, yourself, and only limited by your imagination!

This is for the most part a complete rewrite. The feel of the story did not seem to flow the way
I first intended. Also, the delay from earlier attempt was due to the death of a dear close family
member in a hospice from cancer. Mom, I love and shall cherish your memory forever.

Okay, first things first. I'm by no means a professional writer. But I do know what looks okay
While reading it. This is my first serious try at writing, so I would appreciate any constructive
response to my humble offering. If it entertains? Bonus.
Send a PM on the website, or email me at [email protected]

Disclaimer
Last but least this is not of an adult nature, at first. Who knows. Maybe later on the story may go that direction. Also this is fantasy with a dose of fiction stirred in, with no connection with the real world, or it's occupants. Just a product of a hopefully fertile imagination. My biggest wish with this piece is to be at least more than one short chapter. Lastly. If I don't run out of talent and manage to continue this, I promise not to repeat this preface rambling for you to wade through.

Self-made Man, Umm Person - Complete Rewrite

By BillieBob

Chapter One

There are so many questions I should have asked myself. Questioning my every thought, action, and reaction. Regrets? Some. Hopes and desires? Quite a few. What if it only took that to make things possible? Just imagine your future and make it real. If you have the tools to do it. Mainly, yourself!

My name is Bart. Short for Bartholomew Johnson. Imagine growing up with THAT millstone around YOUR neck! Maybe that had some influence as my being somewhat of a loner. That and
My family moving every two or three years.

Alone. I've pretty much kept to myself. Never any real close friendships as long as I can remember. Never really 'tight' with anyone. I was always looked at as having a slight to at best an average build. Standing at only five foot six inches, quite a few of the girls, and virtually all of the guys were taller than me, all through grade school. Imagine dating under those conditions. Oh, there were a few dates. Just casual dates with attractive girls. Pick them up at their home in my restored 69’ Camaro. Meet the parents. Show the proper respect. From the feedback afterwards it seemed like we both had an enjoyable time. Even though I didn't feel like there was an overwhelming demand for dating me, if I was persistent, I could at least get a date.

Then, there are my brother, and sister. One each. Twins no less. Older than me. Mary, my sister. Bob my brother. Them against me. Or at least it felt like it. Another source or reason for feeling alone. Talk about sibling rivalry. Enough to make me feel like an only child in a house of strangers. The usual pranks by them. I was so easy to prank. They would say a true gullible sucker. So as a result I read a lot immersed myself in school work getting straight A’s from practically from the first grade. It was the only way I could cope with everything. Mom and Dad had me by mistake or accident. Or an afterthought. At least that was what I thought because Mom and Dad didn’t seem to pick up on what was going on between us kids. Maybe they didn’t want to see it so they didn’t have to deal with it.
Okay. Time for extreme dose of self pity. Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, time to go out in the garden to eat some worms, and so on. (fat worms, fuzzy worms, juicy worms). I don’t remember how the whole ditty goes. I found several versions on the internet, but not the one I originally first heard. I do remember just hearing it gave me a vividly bad taste in my mouth.
Eww, gross!

We seem to move every two to four years. Something to do with Mom and Dad’s jobs. Classified work for Company X it seems. I learned long ago not to ask other than how their day in general went. You know. Good or bad. Nothing more. Nothing at all that much stands out in memory. Not till my junior year in high school at yet another new town and school when I encountered 'The Unholy Five'. I never heard that nickname till apparently too late in regards to dating. I was on a date with Kathy, Thursday night and were having a sandwich at a Subway. We were sharing a foot long when two classmates, (both girls) came in and sat down with us. I didn't feel particularly crowded till they started picking at our food.

"Hey Barty, gimme a bite."
Another joined in. "Yeah, gimme one too."

Agh. Man are they rude, I thought.
"Tell you what, I'll buy you a foot long sandwich of your choice, the two of you can share, and leave mine alone. Chips and drink included."

"Hey 'Stingy', I just wanted to see what it tasted like!"

"Stingy? I offered to pretty much buy the two of you supper and you have the gall to call me stingy?"

I thought that was the end off it, but soon all three were on my case bitching calling me an
asshole, among other things. Including my date! How’s that for gratitude? Man, did that
hurt. What a bunch of self centered brats. I could feel my eyes start to tear up at that point.

That’s when I had enough from all the abuse, and name calling. Getting up I turned away
intending to leave. Amazingly Kathy my 'date' asked,
"Hey asshole, how am I going to get home?"

Turning back to her I replied with,
"You should have thought of that before you turned on me like a bitch."

The look she gave me had a unhealthy look to it. It chilled me to the bone and gave me goose
bumps all over. Turning back with the other two standing on either side of me I could have swore
something seemed wrong. Did they get taller, or did I get shorter? And my whole body had this really weird feeling. Sort of like feedback in a sound system a band would use on stage. Add fingernails running across a blackboard.

“Hey Kathy, how come your date is shrinking?” while they grabbed my arms.

“I don’t know, but he looks more and more like a girl too.”

“Hmm, he is starting to look like a hottie. Check out the hair.”

“And the hooters! Major hottie.

“Please, let go of me.” I begged. Hooters, er breasts? On me? What the hell?

“Oh is Snook’ums goanna cry?”

“Alright! That’s enough! I won’t put up with that behavior in my store! You girls behave or get out!”

Thank god, the manager! With that they released my arms.

Nevertheless I wanted out of there so badly I didn't wait for anymore 'quality time' with them and
got out as fast as I could go. I quickly walked out to my car, picking up my shoes along the way because they fell off for some reason and got in. I lost what little composure I had and started crying like a little grade school girl. And to top it off I looked up in
the rearview mirror and had to adjust it! Was I shrinking? And what’s with the steering wheel? It has hand indentations where my hands were!
WHAT THE HELL WAS HAPPENING TO ME?! I couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling throughout my whole body. Inside and on my skin. Itchy, tingly, buggy.

The cry did me a lot of good. After I calmed down enough to drive home, I started to feel more…
more like myself. Whatever that is anymore. When I finally pulled into the driveway and parked, I checked myself out and saw everything back in it’s proper place. As in I’m me again.

When I got inside I saw my parents in the living room. My parents Marie, and Jim.
"Bartholomew honey, is that you?" Mom asked.

"It must be, I have a key."

"Don't talk back. It's rude and not at all like you."

"Sorry Mom. I’ve had a very strange and stressful night. Almost like I was trapped in a badly written movie script. I don't feel very much like myself at all."

"What happened to you?

"I don't know. I don’t have a clue what is happening. I was on a date tonight with Kathy, and things went from good to bad to weird. I must have had the worst night of my life!"
I then started to tell Mom and Dad what happened on our date. I had gotten to the part of me getting out to my car and crying when Mom started screaming, "STOP! STOP HONEY!!!"

"What Mom, stop what?"

"Talking. You. You seem to be changing... right before our eyes!"

"That’s impossible!"

"Go look in the hallway mirror."

Okay, I walked to the hallway to satisfy Mom without looking, turning to face my parents. All this
time only Mom was talking. Dad seemed to be frozen, just a stunned, shocked look on his face.

"If I look in the mirror, will you please stop this talk?"

"Please, go have a look Dear."

I really love my parents so much, but this is just silly. Finally I turned around, just to make her
happy. When I looked in the mirror, the reflection seemed to whack the very reality of my being!
There in the mirror was what to me looked like a teenaged girl! Then everything went black. That was my last memory of that evening. Later, I was told my eyes rolled back in my head, then
dropping like a rock! A classic fainting scene from a movie if there was ever was one.

My next memory was finding myself in my own bed in pajamas. I then heard an exchange of low whispers. I think both mom and dad talking to each other.

'Moan.' Oh do I ever feel bad! Ache all over.

"Shhhh, she, err he's coming around. Be quiet. You'll wake, her, ah him.”

"Honey, how are you feeling? You gave us quite a scare.
You've been out for almost twelve hours!"

“How did I get here?”

“We carried you in from the hallway and put you to bed.”

"Why didn't someone wake me. I'm late for school!”

Mom answered with, "I called the school telling them you won't be in today because you are
sick."

"Oh. I guess that explains how bad my head aches. Can I have something for that?"

"No you can't. Not till you see a doctor. With what has been happening, we can't take a chance
with even the most simple pain medication. If I can't get you in at the doctors office, we're going
to the Emergency room."

"Mom, please my head hurts so badly. I'm sorry for any backtalk last night."

"Honey, I'm not trying to punish you. There are some very strange things happening with your body. Till we find out exactly what that is, and the cause and effect, and all that’s involved, we cannot take the chance of what the most simple medication may do to you."

"Mom? What’s happening to me?"

"I don't know dear, but you seemed to have, err regained yourself since last night. At least what
was happening last night does not seem to be permanent. Whether or not of your own control is
the question."

"How could I ever be controlling something that sounds like part of a bad movie plot?"

"I don't know that either. I'm going to call our doctor's office to see how soon we can get in to have him take a look at you, and hopefully do something."

"Okay Mom, thanks."

With that, Mom walked into the den closing the door for some reason to use the extension in there.

The silence was thick between dad and me. We both were stuck for words to say. Finally I broke the ice.

"So Dad, how was your and Mom's evening?"

He smiled a little and actually blushed.

"Oh, the night was good. Very good."

"Uh, Dad?"

"Yes Son?"

"Say no more. I get the idea." It was my turn to blush. Yes they're adults. Healthy adults, but
they're still my parents. I'm glad they are still in love with each other, unlike so many of my
classmate's parents, and still together.

At that point mom came back in my room. “Bart honey, do you need help getting dressed? I've got you an appointment with the doctor's office in an hour."

"Thanks Mom. I think I'm okay enough to get dressed."
With that I carefully got up out of bed select something from my closet. I still felt a little lightheaded.

"Mom, can you help me pick something out? I can't make up my mind."

"Sure. Let me see what is available."

With hangers sliding back and forth. An occasional "hmm", then, "Here you go, try this."
Dark brown slacks, tan button down shirt with long sleeves, black socks, and black loafers completed her selection.

"Bart, you think you can dress yourself, or do you need your dad to help? I'll be in the kitchen making a quick breakfast so we don't go to the doctor hungry. There is no telling how long this will take."

"I'm still feeling a little dizzy Mom, but I think I can manage. Do I have time for a shower?"

"Yes, but lets get a move on."

After my shower and having gotten dressed, I walked downstairs to the kitchen, joining my parents. The shower helped a lot.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you still here? I thought you'd be going in to work."

"I called in to work and told them there was a family emergency. I want to be with both of you.
This just might be extremely serious."

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. Hmm, I smell Malt O Meal. Mom, I haven't had that in a while."

“I know dear. Sit down and eat before it gets cold.”

“Okay Mom.”

“Bart honey. Your father and I talked and no matter what they find, remember we both love
you so much. We fully intend to stand by and support you through all of this.”

“Really?”

“What do you mean by that remark?”

“Because as long as I can remember I get the feeling I’m the proverbial fifth wheel in all matters regarding this family. Just an afterthought in the general overall population. Haven’t you noticed how my ‘loving siblings’ treat me?”
Oh no. Now the tears again. I feel like such a girl.
With that I started to feel that strange feeling again.

“Honey please calm down. It’s starting again. We really do love you. You are in no way an afterthought. You are a legitimate member of our family. If that is how you feel, we need to have a family meeting and clear the air, or this will tear us all apart!”

“Okay Mom. I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

After That we were on the road.

Continued at the doctors.

Chapter Two
Lions & tigers & doctors oh my!

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Comments

Thanks for taking a look at

Thanks for taking a look at this. From the start the witch theme never entered my mind. It would add a twist to the story... I'll have to give that some thought.
I do like how the posting turned out. The picture posting thing was the hardest. Much thanks to Erin on that help! I was about to chuck the whole project and delete it all. Chapter 2 is done, and I'm currently working on 3rd chapter.

Interesting start

Interesting start Is it magic? Sci-fi? We shall see.

Hmmm... maybe one, the

Hmmm... maybe one, the other, or.... both? (insert evil laugh here) muuhwha hah hah hah! :)

Very Interesting-and different!

I like this! I'm looking forward to the next part! I don't have any theories-yet!

Wren

Bart seems to be one of two

Bart seems to be one of two things, a mutant in changing, or been "blessed" by his date and her two friends thru magic to become a girl at the most inappropriate times such as when s/he has lots of stress laid on her/him. As "the unholy five" were mentioned, I would go with witchcraft and magic. It will be fun to see what has actually happened to Bart or her newself.

If not magic...

...then a really weird pathogen of some description. After all, the double helix gracing the post is almost certainly not there coincidentally...

 

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