Another BigCloset TopShelf story.

Joanie contemplates the implications of the school dance with Eric. She and Security Officer Lex risk "baring all" to defeat Peeper's latest fundraising plan and learn a lot about each other in the process. Joanie meets a troubled mutant and tries to help her, while she prepares to frame Joanie in a manner most foul.

Andy Warhol said,"In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." What if your 15 minutes came late in life, and fame decided to never let you go? Could you survive the circus your life would become?

Timeout 2-Pause/Record/Fast-forward: A Whateley Academy Fan fiction

This is fan fiction for the Whateley Academy series. It may or may not match the timeline, characters, and continuity, but since it's fan fiction, who cares? To see the canon Whateley Stories, check out either Sapphire's Place,

(http://www.sapphireplace.com/stories/whateley.html) or the Big Closet (http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/taxonomy/term/117)."

I’m fairly new at writing TG/sci-fi but I’m starting to get the hang of it. Constructive criticism and advice is encouraged. This is an exercise in the joys of creativity and in appreciation of the wonderful Whateley Universe. Any violations of copyright, trade mark or use of real people or incidents is for purposes of humor or parody and done solely for the free enjoyment of the reading public. All rights reserved in perpetuity, John from Wauwatosa WI, 2005-2006. See my agents 86 and 99 of Control. This space for rent.

Timeout 2

By John from Wauwatosa
Thanks to my sister and to Janet Nolan for proofing

Chapter 11- The pepperoni hits the fan: Revenge of the Blonde, Pinky 4

Whateley Academy Dunwich NH, February 18-20, 2007

February 18, 2007 7:30PM

Quick note to d/j/w; returned from Iowa relatively unscathed other that I apparently have a boyfriend. Well color me surprised! May have more later; I better grab something to eat before the cafeteria closes.

* * * *
“What am I gonna tell Dad? This is one conversation I am not prepared for.”

How do you tell a parent you’re dating a boy 35 years your junior? I can scarcely believe it myself.

“Talking to yourself again, Joan?”

“Oh hi, Lex. Can you sit and talk or are you on duty? Guessing from the jeans, blouse, jacket over your shoulder and trainers, you’re not, unless you’re undercover. If you are, I’d rethink my story. Even in that getup no one would believe you’re a student. Maybe Miss April, here on a photo shoot - ‘Playboy’s Guide to College Prep Schools,’ - but a high school student, never.” Lex smiled.

~Was that a hint of sadness behind her smile, I wonder? She’s been so helpful with my training; I wish I could help her. ~

“I was checking the duty roster for the week and saw you on the CCTV. WE have a problem. It’s nothing you’re not used to, but personally I’m pissed. Take a look at this.” Lex unrolled a huge poster covering most of my table.

~It can’t be? ~

“Lex, that’s you? I said you’re good looking but I was wrong, that’s the body of a goddess. Admittedly you’re wet and climbing out of the pool but it is a one-piece and does cover you pret...”

I stopped as I noticed details I’d missed at first glance; I looked more closely at the poster.

“The pool was cold again, wasn’t it? The goose bumps are kinda sexy, girl. As to your twin glass cutters, Wow! I can see why you’re upset. Still, it’s just a poster, and you are clothed; I put up with this everyday.”

Lex was painfully shy about her body at times; a body that made mine look like a doormat, a cute and sexy doormat, mind you. Curse her and her elegant fashion model looks.

“Then you won’t mind having this holographic one plastered throughout the dorms.” She grinned ferally as she unrolled another life-size poster of this totally hot teenaged babe running, chest jutting forward, her face...

“I look like I’m... Who’s responsible? I’ll Kill Him!” Lex was laughing so hard she started coughing. I soon joined in. “Where’d you get these?”

“P & G.”

“Procter & Gamble?” I said trying not to laugh.

“Peeper and Greasy, Ms. Loony Toons. A student in one of our law enforcement courses bought them, Steel Lotus. I think she’s a Poevian,” Lex said mischievously. I giggled. “She didn’t have the cash to buy all three in life size.”

“Three?”

“She’s says they had one of you in bib overalls that positively sizzled, but that was another $59.95. Uh, sorry, Joanie, but she wants them back.” She smiled nervously at me.

“I thought I heard a camera clicking that day, though I’ve only myself to blame for any, um visual effects. I didn’t wear a normal bra because Ms. Carson said to be prepared to get dirty. I didn’t relish the idea of dirt getting stuck in the lace so I wore this stretchy lycra thing that pretends to be a bra. At least I wore normal panties; I’m not into going ‘commando’, if that’s the proper phrase. You’re right that I’m used to seeing sexy posters of myself, but those are under my recording contract, in good taste, and I get a cut of the profits.

“Question is how do we show our collective displeasure with these unauthorized ones without overreacting?” Lex nodded, I continued. “I admit that hologram is a sexy pose, but I would never agree to one with that expression, too close to porn for my tastes.”

~If I ever do get serious with this boyfriend business, I think Eric would like this one. ~

“It’s not the money, I’ve got loads of it. It’s that someone is doing this without our say-so that I find objectionable. I can’t help it I look like this, and neither can you, Lex, but that doesn’t mean Peeper or others can use our image for profit against our wishes. You’re the expert here on search and seizure; am I right in thinking we can raid their dorm room without a warrant seeing as they’re on a private campus and underage? Not that I advocate this, the potential problems are manyfold, it’s just a possibility,” I explained.

“I’d love to put him out of business, but even authorized raids would only delay things and make any unseized materials all the more valuable. They weren’t specifically forbidden to do this, just the malicious radio broadcasts. The student code of conduct could be used, but traditionally Whateley gives the students a lot of leeway, so I have my doubts. Scare tactics would only encourage them. I’m sure I can come up with something that will stick, but it’s not easy, Joanie,” Lex confessed.

“I’d love it by-the-book, too, but just don’t see it. I think our best move is to show them it’s to our mutual benefit they find another way to make a buck.”

An idea formed in my head as a wicked smile grew on my face. I’ve seen it in the mirror; you don’t want to be the target of it.

“What ‘ya thinking of, Joanie? You have that look on your face again, and would you point it another way; it worries me. And please keep that away from babies and the elderly.”

“You’ve read P. J. Wodehouse, I’m impressed. I think I have a plan, but it will take a sacrifice on our parts for this to work. We need bait and, baby, we’re it.”

“I’m not going to like it?” Lex asked.

“You’re self-conscious about your looks; I can’t see why, you’re gorgeous, but I was shy when I was a man, so I can sympathize.”

Lex looked shocked for a moment -- that was odd because she knew of my origins, at least the sanitized version.

“We need to be seen together running and working out in the scantiest outfits regulations allow in our station as staff. That means figure flattering sport tops or bras, not the breast squishing variety. Short, tight, running shorts or body suits and the most feminine running shoes and socks we can stand. I'm torn between a ponytail/braid and letting our hair loose. Oh, and we’ll need to tart our makeup up a notch.”

“Makeup, I don’t know, Joanie.”

“I said it would take some sacrifice. You look fine without it but would look so much better with even a modest application -- remember we’re bait. We’ll stop Peeper but in a way that doesn’t make us look like ogres. With luck he’ll be so embarrassed he’ll never bother us again. Sorry, Lex, but this action calls for our big guns,” I said giving my breasts a lift. “We prove to the student body that Security can take a joke, and maybe it helps you get comfortable with your looks. I don’t know why you’re so self-conscious, but if you ever want to talk, I’m an expert with being uncomfortable with one’s appearance. Fortunately, I got over the worst of it soon after my mutation, but even now I get embarrassed when people say I’m beautiful.” Lex was surprised by my answer.

“You’re self-conscious? You were in People Magazine's top 25 most beautiful women in America for 2006, in the top ten just above J-Lo.”

“I was? Missed it, I was kinda busy back then,” I replied.

That was true. I was concentrating so hard on getting trained for my security duties and learning the paper work behind teaching, I’d missed seeing most of the end of the year best of, worst of lists.

“I was in the top ten, and I’d only been in the public eye less than four months? I’m dreading 2007, what if I slip, I’ll be mortified!”

“I’m glad you’re taking this so well., That was the overall poll, and you were number six by the way.”

“I’m not a number, I’m a free man, um correction, woman,” I said, paraphrasing Number Six from The Prisoner.

“Be serious for once, Joanie.” I giggled in response, and I didn’t mean to, honest. “Okay, that does it; you were number one in their poll of new celebrities. You were number one in all three newbie women categories, best known, most admired and most attractive new female in America,” Lex said rapidly.

“That’s exactly what we’re talking about here. I’ve learned my appearance is a blessing and a curse. My youthful good looks,” Lex frowned and shook her head, “Okay my jailbait bod,” she nodded, “is an asset and liability.”

“You’re repeating yourself, Joanie, get to the point, girl.”

“Lex, remember, I’m 49 not 16 -- don’t be patronizing. I’d swear you’re a thirty-something guy rather than a twenty year old girl the way you talk at times, and that’s exactly my problem -- people don’t take me serious looking as I do. That’s also my big advantage, people don’t take me serious. You’ve heard of ‘dress for success?’ I’m proof of that. Unless I dress just so, I look like I’m in high school or a high-class call girl. It’s a very narrow and blurry line that divides the two.

“The ‘Joanie’ leather look is a deliberate attempt to get away from my school girl image; the trouble is it pushes my already high sexual quotient into the stratosphere. This all works to my advantage when people underestimate what I’m capable of, and a pretty face and sexy voice do open doors. It’s not easy, but I have to use what I have and not go around bemoaning what I lack. Your looks are an asset. Use them responsibly, don’t deny them, my young disciple. Help you I can., A help to me have you been.”

“Who are you, the Emperor or Yoda?” Lex laughed nervously. “I’ll consider your offer, Joanie. But getting back to your plan, how does dressing up like girls at cheerleader camp help us trap Peeper?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet, but I thought it be fun to get you get you into that outfit.” Then I giggled. “Had you going there, remember I’m not a blonde, I only play one on television.” Lex let out a soft moan. “It’s easy, we’ll either attract a flood of photographers, is that what you call a group of them?”

“Joanie!”

“Sorry, just trying to take your mind off the scanty attire. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll take my top off.” I reached behind me and removed my ponytail clip. “Oh, that feels so good.” Lex broke up.

“See what I mean, Peeper doesn’t stand a chance as he’ll underestimate us. There are advantages to acting the ditzy blonde. We either put the squeeze on the photographers we flush, or we may nab the big fish himself. As I understand it, Peeper, if anything, is greedy. Why pay others to do what you can do for yourself? When he does, we’ve got him. Oh, he’ll get his photos, nothing too raunchy, but he won’t make anything on the deal. The Whateley Scholarship fund can always use a few extra bucks, and he will donate generously. You know what we’re talking about here, blackmail.” I flashed a predatory grin and Lex laughed delightfully.

“William Demarest in ’It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’, Joanie?”

“There’s hope for you yet, Lex.”

~How a girl with her looks and sense of humor can be so uncomfortable with her appearance and sexually is a mystery. Maybe I should ask Officer O’Brian -- with the exception of Chief Delarose he’s the only guy she seems comfortable with and he never makes jokes or lewd comments about her lesbianism or looks. There’s some connection between them that goes way back, I wish I knew what it was. I’d swear they’re best buds, brother and sister or something? ~

“How soon can you get the running costume together?” I asked.

“I have most of it already except for the ‘Wonder Jogging Bra’. I have regular cross-trainers, but I suppose I could get some in, Ghods, pink, or buy some lacy ankle socks. I can be ready by the day after tomorrow.”

“Don’t be so enthusiastic, Lex. Seriously, we gals have got to stick together against the menace of police haircuts. I’ll hand it to you, it takes guts to buck the trend and keep your hair that long as an officer. I’m auxiliary, so I don’t have the pressure to conform. I doubt I’d cut it even if ordered, the ex-bald guy in me loves it too much despite all the hassles. It’s a pain at times, but it looks so good. Give me a moment to run my fingers through my hair then toss my head like in those shampoo commercials.” I giggled and smiled at Lex. She got this serious, almost sad look on her face. ”What’s wrong, Lex. I’m just easing the tension, I didn’t mean to offend.”

“I cut it to shoulder length once, but it didn’t work out.”

“It didn’t, why? You must have looked sharp. Why’d you let it grow out?”

“No choice“, she said almost bitterly. “It grew back overnight, made my scalp itch like crazy.”

Lex had just made a major confession to me. I took her hands in mine and gave her my warmest smile.

“You’re a regen like me? I’m so honored you chose to confide this.”

Lex knew I was a high level regen, so did much of the campus as a result of my assault.

“I’m a low level, I don’t have the speed of your recovery, but the effect is much the same. I’m stuck looking like this for the indefinite future or until the magic runs down if it ever does. My regen's due to magic not mutation, but they did give me the full Xavier test. I may tell you the rest some day,” she said quietly.

“That’s a thought, Lex, never tried cutting mine, don’t know what would happen if I did. If you ever want to talk about any of it, this kind of secret I can keep.”

“I’ll consider it. It’s just I... I don’t make friends easily,” she said hesitantly.

“You? You’ve been the nicest of anyone in security including Chief Delarose, and you have trouble making friends?”

“It’s not easy to explain.”

“When you feel comfortable with it tell me, no pressure, Lex. If it helps, I’ll tell you about me. There’s things not even Dr. Sara back in Madison knows, and she’s practically my mother. One day I should tell you about her time here as a student, I get the impression from Ms. Carson that our Belle is following in Ms. Grobeschmitdt’s footsteps.”

“Sara Grobeschmidt is your doctor? There are a half dozen large storage boxes dedicated to her file in the security archives. She’s the only one to ever get Ms. Carson and not get in trouble.” Lex made the sign of the cross. “Be gone from my sight, devil’s spawn.”

“Huh?”

“You are her protégé, aren’t you, Joanie?”

“Come to think of I am. Lex, come to the dork side of the Force.” I know that gags been done to death, but I couldn’t resist. “That reminds me, I need to see if the latest issue of ‘Of Masks and Marvels’ is in, I love Lady Lighting. See you 7AM sharp the day after tomorrow outside of Security.”

“Make that outside of Poe with the outfits we’re wearing.”

“Damn and I wanted to show off my pink bikini to Delarose.”

“In February? Joanie!” Lex looked peeved but was snickering. I faked slapping her with a pair of gloves.

“February 20th, 7AM outside Poe Hall and bring your second. No one insults my pink bikini.”

“What are you on about?”

“It’s traditional in a dual, you know bristols at dawn?” Lex let out a moan.

“That was the worst pun I have heard in ages.” She rolled up the posters. “You don’t stand a chance girl despite your big guns; I’ll give to the evil eye.”

“This looks like the start of a beautiful friendship. In two days then, Lex.”

* * * *

February 19, 2007 7:35AM

Dear d/j/w, still sorting out my feelings about the dance and Eric. What surprised me most was how fast it happened, how quickly he went from brother of my best friend to “I wonder what he’s like in bed and what would our kids look like?” I am such a hopeless romantic, but isn’t that what the teen years are supposed to be like, a time for experimentation and growth? Maybe a good workout will help flush the flowers and butterflies out of my mind.

A few days ago a freshman, Pinky Conners, approached me and asked if we could talk. She’s classified as a shape-shifter or were as in werewolf though in her case she’s a were-boy or more accurately a were-hermaphrodite; she switches between her original female form and a hermaphroditic male on alternate months. Poor kid’s having a hard time, heard I’m an MtF transgender, and figured I could help.

I met with her later that day, and if half of what she says is true, I’m amazed she hasn’t killed herself. She’s scared of doctors, given how she was mistreated after her mutation.; I don’t have all the details yet, but she says she was molested, maybe raped, but no one would believe her and especially so as a mutant. She heard I like to run and has offered to run with me in the mornings, so we can get to know each other better; I’m meeting her in a few minutes. I’m embarrassed to admit but ever since my on-campus assault I’m a bit paranoid about my safety so I’ve asked Security to quietly check out Ms. Conners background to be sure. It’s a typical February morning, so it’s the lycra/spandex cool weather running suit today, sorry leather.

* * * *

“Morning, Pinky. I take it the offer stands? That is just the cutest workout outfit you have, I feel under dressed somehow. What is that called; it looks like a cross between a tennis dress and a girl’s track outfit. I like the coordinated head band, leg warmers and tights, very stylish,” I said.

I had a sport bra with extra wide straps under my bodysuit, necessary to minimize the jiggling of my puppies, not that they’ll ever sag given my regen and exemplar powers but the bouncing is distracting and then some.

~Oooh yesss! ~

I have enough to deal with without excessive nipple stimulation added to the mix. Between the sport bra, bodysuit, soft nylon running shorts and trainers, I felt a bit trashy in comparison and said as much.

“You look pretty, Ms. Brown. Your outfit suits you.”

“What did I say when we met, Pinky?”

“Joanie, sorry, but you’re Whateley staff and my Aunt A... Auntie says to always treat those in authority with respect.”

~Aunt? ~ Alarm bells went off in my mind.

“Who’s your aunt, Pinky?” Pinky looked worried, like she’d said something she shouldn’t.

“She doesn’t like me to say, she’s very private, says it’s a family matter. My aunt is a strong believer in proper behavior and not airing your laundry in public.”

~Pinky looks nervous. Gees, did I scare the girl? Smart going, Ms. Sensitive. ~

“Family is family; I’m protective of my own, too. It’s since the assault on me and the smear campaign I’m a bit paranoid at the moment, sorry, Pinky.”

She seemed better, we stretched and slowly worked up to a good run, not that I needed it but I felt relaxed and alive afterward.

“How come you’re not sweating, Joanie?” I was barely damp.

“The doctors say it’s ‘cause I’m a high level regen and a warper, I rarely get tired either, it’s pretty weird. You could use a good shower, that’s a fair sweat you’ve worked up, but it looks good on you, real healthy.”

Pinky blushed then bent over to retie her shoelaces.

~Wow, that is one fine as... Joanie, stop staring at her tush, no matter how sexy it is -- behave your self. ~

“Pinky, word of advice, don’t bend over like that in a skirt. Ghod knows how often my friends at MSG pounded that into my head after my transformation. You flashed your buns at me; a boy might get the wrong idea.”

“I’m sorry, Joanie, I just feel so safe and comfortable around you. I didn’t think.” She gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek.

~Sweet. ~

“I hope I wasn’t being forward there, it’s just that I like you, and I’m bi, or at least I was until I mutated, and that much hasn’t changed.” She smiled and ran off.

That last bit confused me, was she coming on or just sharing a secret?

* * * *

“That went well”, she said to herself. “Thought I’d thought I’d blown it when I mentioned my aunt. Good thing she didn’t press it; Joanie is way too trusting. If I do this right, she’ll be ready in time for my change, and if I play the ‘poor, suffering mutant,’ I think she’ll consent to sex with me to ‘prove’ its not so bad being that ‘thing.’ The moment she does, I’ve got her. A quick swallow of some vodka dosed with a tranquilizer and Viagra, and those carefully hidden police handcuffs to make it look like she trapped and drugged me, and she’ll be charged with rape. If she won’t agree to sex, I have another method.”

A cruel smile grew on her face as she handled the bottle she stole from a chemistry supply room. For a moment she suddenly seemed sad and embarrassed as she struggled with her thoughts.

“That kind, innocent act doesn’t fool me; she can’t really care how I feel. Don’t fall for it, Pinky, you owe it to the Alphas and your aunt. Stick to it girl, don’t turn all soft and believe that crap she spouts,” she said to her self quietly, trying to fight off the nagging doubts sneaking in that, maybe, Joanie was on the level. “No ones helped me since this curse happened; certainly not that sick doctor back home who molested both mes, claiming it was therapy. No one believed me, not even my ‘loving’ parents, the fuckin’ cops did nothing. This Joanie is just the same; all adults are except for my aunt,” Pinky said with venom.

* * * *

February 20, 2007 6:55AM

Dear d/j/w; Operation “Jeepers Creepers” starts in five minutes. Peeper won’t know what hit him. To hell with the hair clips or braids today, time to let it fly. If they get the right angle to the sun, maybe backlit, it should make for one hell of a picture.

* * * *

“On time as usual, Lex, why the sweats, it’s much too warm out for those? She could see my bare legs from under warm-up jacket.

“I’m not comfortable showing as much skin as you, Joanie, at least until I’m working out hard. And even as warm as it’s been this winter, it’s barely above freezing.”

“We’re doing some of our running inside, Lex; up and down the stairs in Kane, mostly. Plus, once we get going hard, we’ll generate our own heat. When I said I was wearing a bikini, I wasn’t far from the truth.” I open the jacket to reveal a skimpy sport bra and running shorts combo. “Don’t worry, cold doesn’t bother me as much since my mutation. the regen I think.” I gave her an evil grin. “Is Dave ready manning the sensors and CCTV like I asked?”

I knew she trusted him to do his duty and not get distracted by us babes --not that he didn’t notice. I wonder, if they’re not an ‘item’, would he be interested?

~Dave’s such a hunk. Ms. Libido, go back to lusting over fourteen year olds, it’s healthier. I’ve seen Lex on the shooting range with that Cobra 400 linear accelerator pistol. ~

“He’s recording everything. Now that we know what to look for and where, we should catch them in the act. A pity the previous photographers didn’t show up on camera,” Lex sighed.

“Well, the one of you coming out of the pool must have been shot out the boys’ locker-room door, no cameras in there. The shot of me running, given the angle that the sun’s striking me and the time of day, was probably done with a telephoto from the edge of the woods. The bib overalls shot has too many people walking around to tell. This time we’re controlling the time and conditions. We’re at Kane now; time to take off the sweats.” Her outfit was nearly as daring as mine. Pity she had wanted to hide it. “Now that’s what I call bait; do all the girls in your family look like you, Lex?” Lex looked sad despite her smile.

“Mom and Sis are quite attractive; I came by my looks later in life.” She seemed almost bitter.

“That explains a lot, the proverbial late bloomer. You must have been teased mercilessly in school to feel so uncomfortable now.” Lex winced.

“I got along better with most girls back then.”

“Ah, but you weren’t a rival for their boyfriends’ attention before you bloomed. Sorry, I know you prefer women. Before we run, any questions?” Lex’s mood brightened dangerously.

“Just one, what is it you can’t tell your Dad?”

Lex looked much happier now, I was squirming. I could see a twinkle in her good eye. I knew not to look in the other one. I was less affected than most, but it still disturbed me. She had contacts that hid the problem and made her look great but she often wore the eye patch as she said it was more comfortable and how does she put it, ‘to remember’ what ever that means.

“Fair is fair, I suppose. A secret for your secret from the other day. That dance I went to over the weekend.”

“In Iowa, I remember you talking about it. So?”

“I sort of left there with a boyfriend.” I buried my face in my hands in embarrassment.

“You have a boyfriend?” Lex’s eyebrows rose and her eye went wide. “You mean, Eric Johnson, the Governor’s son? What is he, 16?”

“Fourteen.“ I covered my face again. Lex started laughing so hard tears were running down her cheeks. “What the?” I nearly shouted as she slowly stopped laughing.

“Sorry, it struck me, Joanie the 49 year old perpetual jail bait is dating jail bait.” She got this odd look on her face. “So how far did you two go?”

“Hey, he’s fourteen. I maybe permanently in the throws of puberty, but I’m not an idiot. All we did was hug and kiss.”

“Tongue?”

“A little.”

“Okay, safe at first base. Anything else?”

“He got to squeeze my breast once, from outside my dress with my hand on his.”

“Stranded between first and second, you’re okay.”

“I was lucky my period started, his parents were there, and I knew his age -- if he’d been eighteen,” I sighed.

“Home run?”

“With bases loaded to win the World Series, complete with fireworks. I’d have spread my legs so fast his head would still be spinning. 49 years of frustration and a 17 year old girl’s libido are a volatile combination. Ghods, I’m getting wet just talking about him. Maybe I’m in love with the idea of being in love, whatever the reason, I’ve got it bad.”

“I’ve seen photos of him. I don’t blame your 17 year old body, he’s very handsome.” She gave me a sympathetic look.

“Enough of my foibles, it’s time we were trolling for big mouth Peeper.”

* * * *

To be continued

Revised 10/30/2006
Special thanks to my evil blonde sister for proofing assistance
Additional proofing assistance generously provided by Janet Nolan