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~* Heedless Despair *~ “Ow!” I yelped as I rather abruptly bumped into a solid wall about four feet tall. “I think I found the stage. Let’s see if there’s a light switch around here…” I crawled up onto the stage, scampering to my feet. My eyes had begun to adjust now, at least, though that really didn’t help my unease any. I could swear I saw mist gathering at my feet and rolling off the stage. “Um… Guys?” Silence. I cautiously moved to one side, bumping into someone of about Allison’s height. “Ally, there you are. I can’t see a thing.” “What’d you say Robin?” I heard Allison’s voice … from the other side of the stage.

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Even though I had an arrangement with Sensei Rogers to pay for my Kenpo lessons by working on the dojo every other Saturday, since I couldn’t make my lessons the night prior due to Homecoming, he let me slide on my work and come in next week – or so he said. Truth be told, I had so much going on for the weekend already that I wouldn’t have been much use to him anyway. I still had to find Nicole the perfect present, but Jane’s offer to take me shopping at least offered an avenue for that.

I had been so exhausted Friday night, though. I never even heard my alarm sound off, or an annoyed older sister finally barging in to shut off the nuisance appliance. Around nine, though, I felt a familiar, soft hand on my cheek. I found myself instinctively nuzzling into it as I yawned. Allison laughed as she pulled her hand back.

“About time you woke up. Maybe you should go as Sleeping Beauty for Nikki’s Halloween bash.”

I giggled a little as I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, and only now realizing Jennifer’s presence as well. “… Jen? You’re here too?”

Jennifer and Allison could’ve been twins if not for the different heritage. Both wore tight, faded jeans and loose-fitting sweatshirts, though where Allison’s was a soft, pastel pink, Jen’s was Fighting Tiger purple, just like my homecoming gown. Jennifer laughed then cringed, speaking hoarsely. “Ow. Don’t make me laugh please! I cheered my voice sore at the game last night.”

Allison added a moment later, “Your mom told us to come on up and see if you were awake yet. Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten what today is?”

“… The day my well-meaning friends don’t let me sleep in?” I chided. As I rubbed my temples though, the veil blurring dream and reality lifted, and I suddenly remembered. I practically leapt from my bed, sprinting to the closet. “Oh shoot! Heedless Despair’s waiting on us aren’t they?!”

Allison giggled, “Yeee-up. Their sound guy called me this morning to ask when we’d be coming over for rehearsal. God, I still can’t believe we get to be in the show!” she squealed excitedly.

Taking a cue on the weather from my friends I dug through my closet for something warm to wear, even as I replied. “Oh, did I tell you I met their road crew last night?”

“You what?! When?!”

“At the concession stand. There were four of them sporting really awesome HD t-shirts. Remember, Nikki pointed them out because she wanted a shirt like theirs?”

“Oh wow. I remember, but I thought they just had good taste in music. That is like, so cool!”

I stepped out of the closet still in my pajamas, with two hangers containing a hunter green knit sweater and light, faded jeans slung over my shoulder. After grabbing some matched underwear (and green socks to match my sweater, too) from my dresser, I glanced back at the two. “I really need a shower first, but I won’t be long. Jen, my mom has an herbal remedy that’ll really help your throat if you want her to mix some up. I’ve got to warn you though, it tastes worse than it smells.”

Jennifer giggled, flinching as she did. She nodded sheepishly. “That… sounds like a good idea. Come on Ally, I won’t suffer Robin’s mom’s ‘cure’ alone.”

“Oh yes you will,” Allison laughed. “But I’ll drink some hot cocoa with you. I’m STILL cold!”

We parted ways outside my door for the moment as I disappeared into the bathroom and pushed the door closed behind me. I hadn’t really had any ‘alone’ time to think since Thursday, with everything happening so fast. I couldn’t believe how worn out I had been following Homecoming, either. As steam billowed around my shower curtain, obscuring my sight, I closed my eyes and stepped under the hot water. I had to protect my hair else I’d be hours drying it, but I could at least enjoy the relaxing hot water massage for a moment.

‘We really poured our hearts into Spirit Week,’ I thought to myself, as I lathered up my body wash bath puff thingie. ‘I wonder if Brittany’s finally gotten it through her thick skull, though? Or was this just another act to save face in front of Stacey? I guess time will tell. She should be glad her dad isn’t like Nikki’s though. Oh God, he’s not, is he?’

I had to force those terrible thoughts from my mind. Now was not the time to start second-guessing everyone, especially not knowing anything about her or her home life. I resolved to leave it alone for now, rinsing away those negative thoughts even as I watched the soap suds swirl around the drain at my feet.

The heavy faucet squealed a mild protest as I shut off the water then stepped out. Up until now I hadn’t given any thought to just how cold it really was. The room itself felt wonderfully warm from the steam, but the floor…

“JEEZE! COLD!” I yelped, as my bare feet hit the icy tiles. I immediately leapt to the side onto the protection of my bath rug, grumbling to myself as I patted myself dry. I spent several minutes looking in the fog-shrouded mirror, even as I went about getting myself dressed. Not only could I see no physical sign that Robert ever existed, but part of me wondered if there were ever any to begin with. I had to smile at that thought as I pulled my sweater over my head, gave my hair one last flip, and turned to step out and return to my room.

Allison and Jennifer sat on my bed chatting, though they both grew silent as I entered. Allison grinned, holding up my most recent copy of Aria Blade. I could feel my cheeks burning, which caused her to giggle. Jennifer, seeing my embarrassment stood, approaching me to hug me. “Relax, girl. We’re just giving you a hard time!” Her voice sounded much less froggy now. I had to laugh.

“I guess I deserve it for subjecting you to Mom’s home remedies. Just don’t tell Nikki. I want to tell her myself, in my own way.”

Jennifer slowly nodded as she returned to my bed to sit, meanwhile I moved to my vanity to work on my makeup. “Margie’s the only one … well, I guess you guys now too, that know I even read Aria Blade.” I paused, picking up my magnified mirror to apply a light touch of mascara. “I know this is going to sound weird, but everyone seems to think I have this perfect life. Brittany acts like I’m the second coming of Chelsea. I think she even poisoned Stacey against me.

“Reading Aria Blade… It’s like I can forget everything for awhile. I can forget the pressure to do good in school, or worrying who’s going to give me crap for being in a lesbian relationship, or God forbid, finding out my secret… It’s how I deal without going completely crazy, y’know?”

I felt Allison’s warm embrace from behind, as she bent down to kiss my cheek. “I know exactly how you feel. For me, and I think for Nikki too, it’s music. I mean, I still don’t care about going pro, but as a hobby it’s my sanity switch.”

Jennifer added a moment later, “And for me, it’s dancing. Well, dancing, surfing, snowboarding…”

I glanced back at her, surprised. “You snowboard too?”

She laughed, “Hey, sometimes it’s nice to ride a wave that doesn’t thrash you when you fall. I haven’t been ‘boarding in a couple of years though. Hey, we should organize a ski trip for the girl scouts some time!”

Allison giggled, “Ooh that would be so much fun! I love the snow, but I’ve never been skiing!”

I turned back to my makeup application, adding wryly to the conversation, “I… um… I’ve never actually seen snow.”

“What!?” they responded in unison. I giggled a little.

“I mean, I’ve seen it on TV, but I’m from San Francisco. Mt Tamalpais gets a dusting once in awhile, but that’s about it.”

“So you’ve never made snow angels?” Allison asked, utterly shocked.

“Or a snowman?” Jennifer added. “Oh my God, girl, we have got to get you some snow exposure this winter!”

I capped my lip gloss, smacking my lips playfully at them. After hugging Allison, I grabbed my purse, stepping over to wrap Jennifer in a hug. “That sounds awesome. Are you guys ready?”

Jennifer snickered, “Um… Robin, sweetheart?” She pointed down at my shoeless feet.

It took me a few seconds to even realize what I had forgotten. I groaned, grabbing a pair of half-inch heel canvas loafers from under my bed and slipping into them. “Sorry, I’m just nervous. I mean, I’ve never met anyone famous before.”

“I’m sure it’s just the setup crew,” Allison tried to reassure me. I hoped so. “Anyway, so who’s driving?”

“Mom is. Oh Jen, have you ridden in her new car yet?”

Jennifer shook her head. “Not yet. Ally told me about it though. And that she knows what caused her to black out now too.” She smiled warmly at that last part as we stepped out. I couldn’t help smiling too.

“Sorry we haven’t had much time to hang out lately. I promise, now that Homecoming’s behind us we’ll have more time to just hang out and stuff outside homework sessions.”

“Hey, it’s fine. We’ve all got our own things going, and I haven’t exactly been cutting into my Joshie-time either,” she giggled. Allison and I looked at each other as we reached the bottom step. Neither of us was brave enough to say anything, but it only took a few seconds for us both to completely lose it, cracking up.

Jennifer turned beet red, laughing. “Shut up!” She attempted to sound offended, but between giggles it kind of failed miserably.

The hotel looked like a scene out of one of those made-for-TV movies, where word leaks of a celebrity visit, and everything goes sideways. It took us ten minutes just to find a place to park, and even then we had to walk another five minutes. As we pushed our way through the crowded lobby of tourists, photographers, and news reporters, I couldn’t help the dark feeling in the pit of my stomach. If Nicole’s surprise hadn’t been ruined already, it would be now.

An unpleasantly stern middle-aged woman in a business suit, her chestnut hair in a tight bun stood at one of the few reception desks not presently swamped by autograph hounds and paparazzi. I cleared my throat as we approached, and she cast an icy gaze upon us.

“I’m Robin Smith. My friends and I are-“

Before I could finish, the woman snapped back, “Yes, yes, you and every other teenaged girl these boars can bribe to try and sneak a photograph. Unless you have some form of identification I suggest you turn right around and leave before I have security ESCORT you out.”

I physically cringed at her backlash, and had just turned to leave when a VERY large woman with dark skin and dreadlocks called out in a sharp clip.

“Dat’s quite enough of ‘dat!” She practically barked, in the direction of the snarly woman. She immediately glared at the interloper.

“But-”

She closed the distance surprisingly fast for someone of her stature. It’s not that she was all that rotund though, so much as very tall and shapely. She lowered her voice, “I said dat be enough, seen? Dis girl fits da description given don’ she?”

“Yes, but-”

“But no-ting. Dis be ‘er. You mus’ be Robin, yah? Da Scarlet Witch, she say to be expectin’ you. You ken call me Rita. I’m da band’s interim manager. Now c’man before ‘dese vultas realize why you here!”

I quickly nodded, as Rita ushered the three of us off into a side hallway. She kept a brisk pace, guiding us up one hallway and down another, dodging carts and baggage stands like she’d been doing this her entire life. I had to wonder how much of this was more show for us, or if she genuinely was trying to throw off anyone that might’ve gotten the bright idea to follow us.

Finally we arrived outside a pair of very large double-doors. She brought a finger to her lips and grinned ominously. “Da band, ‘dey is takin’ five, but you can go on in an’ say hi. I need ta take care of some other business, but I catch ya later. Was nice meetin’ you Robin, girls.” She nodded, turning to leave us at the door. I turned back to the others.

“Um… Before we go in, who’s Scarlet Witch?”

Jennifer giggled. “Didn’t Ally tell you? The Scarlet Witch is the operatic lead singer you’ve no doubt heard by now. Their lead guitarist calls herself Demona Rose – you’ll see why when you meet her. Their bassist calls herself Shadowfang, and the drummer is Solace.”

As we stepped inside, Allison continued to explain how each name pertained to the persona and backstory. I couldn’t help noticing the near total absence of light. I glanced over my shoulder, and quickly saw why it was only a ‘near’ absence. Only the light from the hall outside shone through the cracks to illuminate the room.

“They say Scarlet Witch was a practicing Wiccan until something terrible corrupted one of her spells, and the backlash drove her insane.”

Jennifer ominously added, “What ye send forth comes back to thee, so ever mind the law of three.”

“Demona Rose, aside from having wicked-pink hair, is reputed to have trapped a demon’s soul within her guitar, calling on its power for her unholy ability to mesmerize the audience. Shadowfang is a creature of living shadow given form in the foolish, failed attempt by a distraught soul to resurrect his dead lover. What came back had her body, but held her heart and soul prisoner.”

I gulped uneasily as we stumbled through the darkened auditorium. “… And Solace?”

“No one knows for sure,” Jennifer spoke reverently. “Some say she was a child’s doll, tossed aside, unloved and forgotten, and that her bitterness breathed new life into her, but others say she’s the soulless puppet slave to one of the others.”

“Ow!” I yelped as I rather abruptly bumped into a solid wall about four feet tall. “I think I found the stage. Let’s see if there’s a light switch around here…”

I crawled up onto the stage, scampering to my feet. My eyes had begun to adjust now, at least, though that really didn’t help my unease any. I could swear I saw mist gathering at my feet and rolling off the stage. “Um… Guys?”

Silence. I cautiously moved to one side, bumping into someone of about Allison’s height. “Ally, there you are. I can’t see a thing.”

“What’d you say Robin?” I heard Allison’s voice … from the other side of the stage. The overhead lights, casting a deep blue hue, slowly brightened just enough for me to see the figure before me. I thought I saw the shadows shift just beyond her, and as the lights rose just a little more, I could see some details, including a very real-looking set of fangs from the grinning figure.

I couldn’t help squealing as I leapt backwards. The figure cackled, and the lights rose to a more tolerable brightness. The blue filter shifted to a neutral white, and for the first time I could see her plainly. She had hair as black as midnight that hung in tight ringlets down to the small of her back and over her shoulders. Her skirt, jacket, and leggings looked like aged mummy wrappings, though I could clearly see a matched, dark gray corset beneath.

Her face in sharp contrast to her hair, as pale as a ghost, held dark circles around her eyes, and black lipstick accentuated the stark contrast nicely. She extended a bandaged hand, though her fingers were exposed, revealing an onyx snake-ring on one finger, as she hissed, “Hi there.”

I hesitantly extended my hand to accept hers, and her smile broadened. Somehow, I didn’t feel reassured. This was all just an act, wasn’t it?

“Shadowfang,” she continued, apparently deriving some sick joy from my uneasy response, as the grin broadened further when she pointed her slender finger over my shoulder. “This is Scarlet. Solace and Demona will be with us shortly.”

I didn’t know if I wanted to turn around at this point. It’s not so much that I felt uncomfortable though, as much as I think I was genuinely ‘in the moment’, as the unwitting victim of four nightmarish creatures. They certainly seemed to be enjoying themselves at least. I did finally turn to face Scarlet, and I could certainly see how she came by her name.

Unlike Shadow, Scarlet looked every bit the classic Gothic Lolita style. Like some sort of school girl from Hell, she wore a blood red blazer over a heavily lace-adorned, low-cut black blouse. Her short, lace-and-ribbons-adorned skirt matched in style and added to the macabre as it flared at the ends, and of course, the dark gray knee-length socks and black platform Mary Jane heels completed the ensemble, to say nothing of her gorgeous red hair, hanging in thick, Goldie Locks-like ringlets about her shoulders. A big, black bow sat lopsided in the mop of otherwise perfectly styled hair, and like Shadow, her dark makeup added marvelously to the spooky effect.

She gave a charmed grin as her large, brown eyes settled on me, offering a delicate hand. “Hmm, now where are the other two little scamps hiding?”

As if on cue, Jennifer and Allison squealed in unison. I turned toward the sound, to find them both being escorted by-the-hand by the missing band members.

When they told me Demona Rose’s hair was pink, I didn’t expect Nicole’s-bangs-fuschia, although it suddenly made more sense why Nicole would dye her bangs as such. And if Scarlet was a schoolgirl from Hell, then Demona was every man’s worst nightmare. Were those whips and handcuffs hanging off her belt? Her pleated vinyl skirt clung to her body, and the black corset-over-black-blouse, while leaving everything to the imagination unlike Scarlet’s outfit, still looked somehow frightening, and very beautiful on her.

I could see now why Solace would have a ‘living doll’ reputation too. She wore a simpler outfit than the others’, a low-cut, sleeveless black vest with red bat-wing like accents around the breast, along with a matched short black miniskirt, though the stark-white pigtails and black-and-white striped leggings, coupled with the clunky black shoes and macabre, Egyptian-styled eye makeup did serve well to give her a ‘living doll’ appearance too.

“Now that we’re all here, it’s time to discuss the plan.” Shadow spoke in a dark and ominous tone. In so many ways, she reminded me of an older version of Nicole. Her voice sounded so familiar though. Was she the one I spoke to on the phone the other day?

The more we talked, the more at ease I began to feel with our hostesses, and to tell the truth, I really enjoyed hanging out with them, even in their ‘dark’ personas. There had been one nagging concern in the back of my mind throughout our planning, though.

“The only thing I’m worried about is, how are we going to sneak away to change without Nikki noticing we’re gone?”

Shadow slowly nodded. “I’d not thought of that. I suppose you could just say you all need to use the facilities?” She chuckled dryly. After a moment a dark, impish grin crossed her shadowy lips. “Ooh… I have an idea. Scarlet, do you still have those exploding what’s-its?”

“The pyro-launcher? Yes, I finally fixed it again after that oaf sat on it after our last show,” she grumbled. After a moment or two, she grinned as well. “Oh, I see what you’re getting at. Shadow, sometimes you’re brilliant!”

“Only sometimes?” She teased, as I glanced between the two of them, utterly confused, which caused Shadow to laugh. “If we told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. But here’s what you’re going to do. Just let us handle the rest. Right now, nobody knows we’re actually here. Some rumors got out that a big-name band might be here, but Rita’s said they haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Remind me to thank Ronnie for recommending her,” Demona added as she tousled her hair and shoved it all back, letting it fall disheveled about her shoulders . “I can’t understand what she says half the time, but damn if she’s not good with keeping the press off our backs.”

“Right,” Shadow continued, “You’ll know your cue. As soon as you get it you’ll have, maybe thirty seconds in the confusion to get backstage, change, and get back out here. Trust me, she’ll be so confused she won’t even notice you’re gone.”

Allison giggled. “I can’t thank you guys enough for this. See… Ever since Nikki and I have known each other, we’ve had this continuous prank war going on. Like, this one time she swapped out the shampoo in my bathroom for honey. Unfortunately my older sister was visiting, so she got her instead,” she paused, giggling, “But that was in retaliation for me putting jelly in her shoes, so…”

Shadow, Demona, Solace and Scarlet each looked at each other for what felt like an eternity, and started laughing. “No bloody wonder she idolizes Shadow,” Scarlet actually giggled, breaking character for only a moment. She quickly cleared her throat. Shadow grinned a broad, fangy grin.

“Let’s just say in my younger years I was quite the prankster.”

“’Was’?” Solace added, “You mean like how you put together this whole thing to scare the wits out of these girls for being late?”

“Hey, don’t pretend it wasn’t good for you,” she chided, poking the drummer’s ribs lightly. She then turned her attention back to us. “One last thing. We talked it over, and decided to chip in and get your friend a birthday present. You know that part of the show where you bring her on-stage?” She grinned. I knew exactly what she meant. “Well, that’s hers to keep. But don’t tell anyone until the show. You’ll see why when the time comes.” That ominous tone had returned in full strength, but I couldn’t help being excited.

We passed the next hour with the band, practicing our exit from various points around the stage. Obviously we’d be at the front with Nicole being the guest of honor for the party, but we still needed to find our best ‘mark’ to choreograph a prompt exit for what came next. Though Scarlet continued to keep her ‘pyro-launcher’ a well-guarded secret, she would count down from three, give us a verbal cue, and would time us on getting away, as Solace, Demona and Shadow acted as pedestrians, constantly finding ways to get in our way, slow us down, or trip us up to simulate the actual evening.

I think we all felt an incredible surge of euphoria as we left the auditorium. Even Heedless Despair, through all their macabre antics and gallows humor, occasionally opened up to let us see the women behind the mystique. If nothing else, it became wholly obvious to me at least, that they clearly loved their art, and enjoyed mystifying and amazing audiences. As we stepped back into the main lobby, Tina Gale approached us.

“Excuse me girls, do you have a moment?”

“Sorry, I have to leave for New Haven soon,” I offered neutrally. I still remembered her poking around week-before-last. She broke the Raggedy Man story earlier in the summer, but she’d been snooping around the school trying to learn more, presumably about me. If she made the connection and started digging, I could be in serious danger.

“Do you know anything about a famous band staying at the hotel?”

I had to tell her something, but I couldn’t betray the band that had so graciously accepted us into their inner circle, if only temporarily. Suddenly, I had an idea. “Oh yeah, I met their road crew last night.”

Both Allison and Jennifer glowered at me, but I pressed on. “They said they’re staying at the Holiday Inn in New Haven to avoid the reporters, but I can’t remember the band’s name.”

You could have heard a pin drop, for the second or two it took for those words to sink in. The entire lobby exploded into even more activity as reporters, photographers, and tabloid hounds ran over themselves and each other trying to squeeze out the double-doors. Once they had cleared out, the snarky woman from before slowly approached us. She actually smiled!

“That, my dear, was masterful. You should consider a career in public relations: or perhaps politics.”

I blushed a little, both Jennifer and Allison now giggling like a pair of hyenas. Allison finally managed to catch her breath enough to speak. “Oh.. My... God. I can’t believe that actually worked!”

Jennifer shook her head, coughing deeply, “Ow ow ow. Oh God, that was so worth the pain. Thank you Robin. You just made a perfect day better.”

Mom had apparently seen the whole spectacle from the parking lot, and had come running, even as we exited. “Is everything alright?! There’s not a building fire is there?”

This caused a whole new round of laughter from us, and a bewildered, mildly annoyed stare from her, at least until we explained on the way to the car what had just happened.

“Honestly, I was just trying to get that Tina lady to leave me alone. She’s been snooping around at school, I think trying to find out information about me regarding the threatening notes Nikki and I got. Principal Rochelle basically told her to back off and stop trying to expose students’ privacy. When the ACLU was mentioned, she backed down though.”

Mom nodded, even giggling a little. “Well, while I ordinarily don’t approve of you lying…” She paused for dramatic effect, “It sounds like Tina Gale had it coming this time.” She smiled. “Reporters have a right to know the news, but my little girl’s well-being isn’t a breaking story to be plastered all over national headlines.

“Oh, by the way, Jennifer, Allison, are you two going to New Haven with us?”

They both shook their heads, Jennifer answering first. “No ma’am. Could you drop me off at home? I need to rest my vocal chords if I’m going to be in any shape to scream at Nikki’s birthday party-slash-concert this Tuesday.”

Allison added, “Yeah, and I’ve got to talk to Nikki’s other friends and let them know what’s going on.”

“Sounds like you girls had fun at least,” Mom offered as we piled into her car. I think we were all too tired just now for the calling of shotguns. Our part in Heedless Despair’s show would be small, but rehearsal was still exhausting. I don’t know how those ladies did it for a living.

Not surprisingly, Jane waited at home for us to return, and after exchanging a few pleasantries of excitement for the coming concert, the three of us – Jane, Mom and myself, hopped into her rented BMW for the trip to New Haven. I did wonder if she had any trouble re-adjusting to driving on the other side of the road, though.

Of course, this trip was more than just pleasure. Every Saturday afternoon for the last several months now, I had a regularly scheduled appointment with my therapist, Barbara Ketzowski, Doctor Ketz for short. Every other Saturday I also had to see another doctor to ensure my hormones were properly in-balance, though fortunately I’d taken care of that visit last Saturday.

I don’t think Jane would feel terribly comfortable at the Endocrinologist’s, even despite her remarkable strides to try and accept me. She even told me she’d be taking copies of my homecoming photos back to show her roommate, and put a face to all that bile she’d lived with for so many years. I’d have loved to be a fly on the wall for the big reveal, but by that same token I couldn’t help feeling some relief that an entire ocean sat between myself and the hateful one, kind of like having an entire nation between myself and my last girlfriend, Andrea.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” I asked Jane as we rolled to a stop outside Dr. Ketz’ office building.

“Oh yes, dear, I’m quite sure, but thank you. I’m going to try and find a nail salon that takes emergency walk-ins,” she explained, delicately holding out her right hand. I could see a clear split down the right side of her index fingernail. It didn’t look too serious yet, but could get painful if it broke any further.

“Ouch! I see what you mean!” I cringed a little and, after grabbing my small white handbag, stepped out of the car with Mom. As we approached the elevator, Barbara’s familiar voice called from the side.

“Hello Robin! You’re looking lovely as always, dear.”

I smiled as I turned to her, closing the distance to wrap her in a hug. Over the last several months, Doctor Ketz had become less and less a therapist, and more and more like a favorite aunt, more-so since Mom had been an only child. If I ever married, I planned to adopt lots of kids and break that cycle.

“Hi Doctor Ketz!” I exclaimed excitedly as I hugged her. As if on cue the elevator doors opened, and the three of us stepped inside.

“How have you been, sweetheart? Did you enjoy Spirit Week?”

“It was amazing!” I giggled. “Remember how I mentioned before about Brittany not really changing all that much after her big show of getting me to stand up for her?”

She nodded. “Yes. I recall you saying you felt conflicted afterward, given how she continued to treat you badly after the fact.”

“Yeah. I think it finally caught up with her though,” I replied, and as we made our way through the lobby to her office, explained in detail how Monday had proceeded, and how Stacey had finally had enough of being treated like a villain for Brittany’s apparent plot, how on Wednesday, she had actually started getting into the spirit of things.

“She actually smiled at me during the flag-raising ceremony that morning,” I added, as I sunk back into the overstuffed sofa.

“How did that make you feel?” she asked as gently as though she were asking how ‘dressing as Robin’ made me feel so many months ago. I loved this woman’s gentle demeanor.

“Honestly, pretty good. I don’t, and can’t know how sincere she was being, but I want to believe she’s trying to stop being such a jerk. I reminded her on Monday that my life hasn’t exactly been easy either, but that I still have friends who love and care about me because I’m not constantly biting their heads off or pulling power trips to control everyone around me.”

Doctor Ketz nodded as she listened. I rambled endlessly about having Mr. Harris visit as our ‘drill instructor’ for Camo day, and admittedly I started crying as I told her how our stuffed bear became his barracks’ mascot overseas when he told them the Raggedy Man story. She smiled softly as she passed me a tissue.

“Robin, life is like the surface of a pond. Drop in a pebble, and the ripples will cascade out across the whole surface.”

I nodded, smiling as I responded, “You sound like Sensei Rogers. After Jason attacked me, I went to him for advice because I felt like the second attack was somehow my fault. He told me that there’s no way I could know for sure, that he might’ve attacked me anyway just by virtue of being a jerk like that.” Mom gently squeezed me close as I paused to gather my thoughts. I smiled a little more as I leaned into her, letting her hold me.

“Your Sensei is a wise man, and he’s absolutely right. You’ve come such a long way since that incident. We’re all very proud of you Robin. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss with me today?”

I started to giggle, causing a curious expression to cross her features. “You know how they say you shouldn’t meet your idols? Well, it’s kind of a good thing Heedless Despair aren’t my idols because they are every bit as awesome in person as their music.”

“Heedless Despair… Oh! That music act you mentioned before! I take it you’ve already met them?”

I nodded. “This morning. They put together this whole ‘scare the bejeezus out of me’ thing because I overslept. It was so fun though, like being in our own personal amusement park ride.”

Dr. Ketz genuinely laughed as I recounted the spooky experience, though I don’t know if it was so much for the tale itself, or the enthusiasm with which I told it. We talked for a short while more about how I should best handle Brittany and other students like her going forward, and after saying our goodbyes for the week, walked out to the parking lot. Jane had just pulled up, waving us over.

“I just received a call from Margie,” she grinned right at me as I slid into the rear passenger seat. “Apparently the author of your favorite comic book somehow found out about your friend’s birthday and left a surprise for you both back at home. Do you still want to go shopping, or do you want to go see the surprise?”

I stared at her, dumbfounded. How in the world could the author even know about me?! “Um… Home, if that’s alright? I mean, I’m not one to turn down a shopping trip, but this is just too weird.”

She gave me a knowing smile, nodding as she turned back in her seat and pulled away from the curb. I spent the entire ride home in silence, wracking my brain, trying to figure out how Aria Blade’s author knew about me. I wondered to myself if perhaps it had something to do with the characters looking so much like Nicole and me. Could it be someone I knew? Kelly or Carol, maybe? Neither of them had ever shown much artistic talent, though Allison played guitar, so I supposed it could be possible.

Or maybe Gina? That patently ridiculous thought did cause me to giggle. I loved Gina, but she did not strike me as the comic book type, especially for how over-the-top Aria Blade’s style seemed.

I practically darted into the house as soon as we pulled into the drive. I found Margie in the living room watching the local news, though she shut it off as I stepped inside. To steal one of Nicole’s more colorful ‘Nikki-speak’ phrases, she grinned like a mule eating briars. Without a word, she produced two copies of the latest issue of Aria Blade. I could see something had been written on the front of both.

‘To our number one fans!
- Aria Blade and Raven Wing’

I blinked, staring at Margie for several seconds. “I… don’t get it?”

Margie giggled. “The anonymous author explicitly stated that I was to give one of these to you, and the other to Nikki, though since her birthday’s in a few days I figured you’d want to hold onto hers until then.”

“But… Nikki? Do you think she’ll like it?”

“You like it, don’t you?” she asked in a more serious tone than I expected. I nodded without hesitation.

“I love it!”

“Well, there you go. Comic books aren’t just for guys, kiddo. I grew up reading them myself.”

“It’s true,” Jane laughed as she approached from behind. “I used to constantly give her a hard time about those things rotting her brain.”

“Did you see who left them? I mean, did you talk to them?”

Margie nodded, “I know who writes it, yes. If you really want to know, I can tell you.” She seemed hesitant to say that, but truthfully, I don’t think I did want to know. Not yet anyway. I smiled and hugged her tightly.

“That’s okay. Part of the magic is in the mystery. Up until today I did want to know, like everyone else, but after meeting Heedless Despair today, I realized that they’re just regular people, but they put on this big, huge show and they keep their real lives totally separate from their stage personas as part of that.”

Margie giggled to herself as she nodded. “Kind of like real-life superheroes, minus the saving the world theme.”

“Yeah, exactly!”

A knowing grin crossed her lips for just a moment, but it faded as quickly. “Anyway, I know you’re dying to see what happens next, so scoot on up to your room. Are you and Nicole going out again tonight?”

“Yeah, Gina’s going to stop by and pick me up in about an hour, and I’ll finally get to meet Nikki’s other friends.”

“Other friends?” she asked.

“You know, the ‘goth’ crowd she sometimes hangs out with.” I couldn’t really explain why we hadn’t formally been introduced yet. Nicole never offered to introduce us, and I always felt like I was intruding on something they had. Here Nicole had been this black lace-and-plum-lipstick wearing macabre beauty queen before she met me, the straight-laced girly-girl homecoming royal, and amusingly enough, technically a jock now too.

As I headed up to my room, something occurred to me at those thoughts. I hated labels. Maybe finally meeting Nicole’s other friends would help us break some of those. Maybe.

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