Sometime in the future:

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Previously:

You know, your brother often sings your praises.” Simon smiled, evoking an even darker shade of red to spread across Beth’s cheeks.

“He’s your biggest fan, you know? He thinks the world of you!” Simon said.

“That’s Carter alright.” Beth said, forcing a smile.

“I happen to agree,” Simon smiled yet again.

Beth frowned and bit the inside of her mouth.

“Simon, I’m not really who you think I am,” she said, adding to herself, “or what.”

“Does my heroine have feet of clay?” Simon smiled once again; it was almost excruciating.

“If he only knew…” she thought, unconsciously shaking her head.

“Relax, Beth,” Simon began abruptly. It occurred to her that she hadn’t heard her name spoken by a man in a long time…it felt uncomfortable and good at the same time.

“Beth…It’s okay…I know.” She blinked her eyes in comprehension as he repeated once again,

“Beth…It’s okay…I know.”

---

"Hey, Beth, have you seen Irene or Cathilynn?" Kerry walked into the office and went right to the mini fridge. She offered her a bottle of water, but Beth pointed to the diet Peach Snapple on her desk.

"They just went to Irene's office to look for a menu for that Thai restaurant that opened up last week.

"Oh that sounds like fun, let's all go over for lunch." Kerry smiled and continued

"James is taking the boys to soccer practice later, so I've got the afternoon to myself." Kerry was proud of how well their boys, two Afghani orphans they had adopted, had managed to fit in without sacrificing who they were or their culture.

"Oh, I don't know... Payday's three days away, and I'm not exactly dressed to go out." Beth pointed to her jeans and tee shirt.

"Oh, hell, I got a sweater in my office that'll fit you, and it's my treat, kid." Kerry smiled, but her glad look was met with a half-frown.

"Okay...come on...give...what's really going on?" Kerry was still smiling, but her tone had almost changed to motherly.

"It's stupid...really nothing...I..." Beth turned away.

"He hasn't called, has he?" Kerry asked with a frown, which gave Beth permission to cry.

"I don't know what i said or did." She started tearing up.

"He was so receptive…he knew that you were trans and yet he asked you out...that has to count for something?" Kerry asked.

"I thought so, but he's backed off so much, it's almost like we never talked about my past, like he's having second thoughts or maybe he just realized that he doesn't want to marry.... someone..." Kerry didn't have to hear the finish to Beth's sentence. She walked over to Beth's desk and lifted her gently out of her chair and hugged her.

"I know he wants kids…we even talked about adopting if it came to..." Beth looked down at her stomach and imagined a womb that would never be. She began crying hard enough to shake Kerry.

"I know, Beth, honey." Kerry was perceived by more than a few people as being tough, which she was, but her own journey had brought her full circle to see her own innocence and tenderness restored. She stroked Beth's hair and said,

"I bet it feels like you wish he had never talked to you in the first place," Kerry said. Judging by Beth's reaction one might have thought it was the wrong question because Beth practically dissolved in Kerry's arms. But it was exactly the thing that was on her heart, and the thing that needed to be released. Irene and Cathilynn walked in and noticed the two standing at Beth's desk. Kerry turned around and said quietly,

"Hey, why don't you order lunch for four…my treat...we'll eat here, okay?" Irene nodded and walked over to a desk and picked up a phone. Cathilynn walked over to Beth and Kerry and kissed the girl on the cheek.

"It's going to be okay, honey...it's going to be okay." And once again, as she had for countless other girls, Cathilynn tilted her head back slightly, looked up and said softly,

"Please let it be okay?"

 

---

 
That evening, Sandra was coming out of her office when she heard the front door open. Walking down the hall she saw a girl standing in the doorway under the entryway light. She was wearing jeans and a tee shirt. Her hair was black and cut short and misshapen, almost like an anime character.

“May I help you?” Sandra asked; which startled the girl. She turned toward Sandra and the overhead light revealed her to be in her mid to late twenties, but her demeanor was more that of a younger woman. Her lip was swollen and cut, and she her left eye was blackened. She was shaking from the cold of the opened door, and she offered no response, so Sandra said again,

“Honey, is there something I can do for you?” The girl whimpered something indiscernible, prompting Sandra to reach out to grab the girl’s hand. She winced, but Sandra insisted, saying,

“Let’s just go back to the kitchen to get an icepack for that eye and we can talk, okay?” After closing the door, Sandra walked down the hall, the girl following in tow close behind. As they entered the kitchen, Sandra motioned for the girl to sit down at the kitchen table while she opened the freezer. She produced an ice pack and said,

“Here, honey, put this over your eye.” She smiled and said, “Would you like some tea, or maybe some cocoa?” The girl shook her head no and looked away. Sandra walked to the range and turned on one of the burners and put the kettle on. A sweet soft voice, deeper than an alto, perhaps, asked, “May I change my mind?” Sandra turned and smiled, holding up two mugs.

“Is Cocoa alright?” The girl said yes and Sandra nodded, turning her back to get the mugs ready. A couple of minutes later, Sandra brought two mugs of cocoa to the table and sat down.

“What’s your name, honey?” Sandra looked at the girl and smiled again.

“B..BBi…Billie,” she said and she looked down at the table.

“I’m going to make a quick call, okay?” Sandra said as she got up.

“It’s going to be okay, Billie, I promise.” Sandra placed her hand softly on the girl’s shoulder before picking up the phone.”

“Karen,” Sandra said into the phone, “Is Nancy Kane still around? Oh shoot, anybody over there?” she asked. A moment later another voice came on.

“Jeez, Janet, don’t you ever go home? I’ve got a girl who just arrived…yeah, she’s just got the clothes on her back, and she’s pretty shaken up….yeah…she got hit and she’s got a black eye and her lip is cut. Is there anyone there that can do an eval? Drea is still there? You two ought to learn when to go home. Okay, ten minutes…I’ll see you in the kitchen over here, okay?”

Sandra walked back to the table where Billie had put her head on her arms. She lifted her head and looked at Sandra. Her eyes were red from crying. Sandra kissed her on the top of the head and sat down.

“I’ve got a couple of friends who are coming over in a few minutes. You need to have someone look at your lip and eye, honey, okay?” Billie nodded and put her head back down.

“I’m sure we can get you something to make you feel a little more comfortable.” Sandra said, shaking her head. She was glad the girl couldn’t see the angry look on her face. A moment later the back door of the kitchen opened and Janet and Drea walked in. Janet sat down immediately. Drea smiled at Billie, who had lifted her head to see who had come in. Drea walked over to the fridge and grabbed two cans of Diet Pepsi. Handing a can to Janet, she sat down next to the girl, whose look almost seemed to plead for attention.

“Hi, honey, I’m Andrea, but you can call me Drea. This is Janet, and you’ve already met Sandra.” Sandra realized she hadn’t even mentioned her name to the girl.

“Janet is going to look at your face and see if you need some medical attention. Don’t worry, she’s a nurse…one of the best.” Drea smiled at Janet who smiled at the girl.

“After she’s finished, I’m going to ask you a few questions so we can know how we can help you, okay?” Billie blinked back some tears and nodded. Drea reached into sweater and pulled out a tissue, offering it to the girl. Billie took the tissue and wiped her eyes.

A few moments later, Janet had finished. The lip, while cut, wasn’t bad enough for stitches, and thankfully no cut was open over the girl’s eye, but her black eye promised to be a rainbow of color in the morning.

“Can you tell me your name?” Drea asked.

“Billie…Billie Penn.” The girl looked down at the table.

“Billie…I’m going to ask you a few questions; just to get to know you and see how we can help you, is that okay?” Billie nodded.

“Can you tell me who hurt you?” Billie looked up and looked down once again.

“That’s okay. Billie, look at me for a second. I’ll ask you and you just nod yes or no, okay?” She nodded yes.

“Was it someone you know?” Nod.

“Family?” Billie shook her head no.

“Friend?” Billie nodded slowly.

“Boyfriend?” She looked up and tears streamed down her face.

“Honey, it’s up to you to decide what you want to do…I know what I’d do, but you need to decide for yourself. Sandra?” Sandra nodded and walked out of the kitchen. A moment later she returned with a camera.

“Billie,” Sandra said softly, “I’m going to take a couple of pictures, just in case you decide to take this further. You don’t have to do anything tonight, okay?” Billie looked up and Sandra pointed the camera at the girl’s face. A few moments later she put the camera down. She walked up and kissed the girl on the head once again.

“I’ve got to get going. Eleven is open and made up. I’ll leave my office open so you can get the key.” Sandra smiled and left.

“Does that mean…can I stay here tonight? I promise I’ll find a place to stay tomorrow, really,” Billie said as she wiped her nose with her arm.

“Oh, honey…you don’t have to find a place…you can stay here as long as you like.” Janet squeezed the girl’s hand. She pulled her hand away and rubbed the back of her neck. As she moved her hand, she felt the hair line. She pulled her hand down and started weeping.

“Did someone cut your hair like that?” Janet asked. The girl shook her head no. Drea’s eyes widened in recognition.

“You cut your hair, didn’t you?” It wasn’t an accusation, but a statement, accompanied by an assuring pat on the girl’s hand.

“They said I couldn’t come home….like….” She tried to speak but she began to sob.

“Your family didn’t want you as a girl, is that right honey?” Drea asked. Billie looked up and nodded.

“I…I went home. Mom met me at the door. She just said, ‘well, come in.’ When I tried to hug her, she just looked back at Daddy and then pulled away. Daddy was standing at the foot of the steps.” Billie wiped her face again.

“He looked at me and said that he told me it would happen and then he said, ‘I hope you’ve learned your lesson.’ I hope you’ve learned your lesson? Maybe I should have listened…He was fucking right,” Billie wept as she pointed to her bruised face.

“No, honey, no…you didn’t do anything wrong.” Drea shook her head and wiped the tears from her own eyes. “Nobody deserves to be treated this way.”

“It…it doesn’t make any difference. He looked at me and said, ‘Well, at least you cut your hair.” As she said it she unconsciously bit her lip, which evoked a wince of pain.

“I mean…I had the surgery three years ago…when I was twenty-four...what did they expect? I should have shut up, but I told him that he just taught me the last lesson I’ll ever need to know.” She put her hand to her face to cover her misplaced shame.

“I went to hug my mom and they both just stood there, staring at me like I was some sort of freak.” She looked back and forth between Drea and Janet.

“Now I don’t have anywhere to live and my own family hates me. I don’t even have a home anymore.” She put her head down on the table and wept, her shoulders rising and falling with each sob. Janet put her hand on the girl’s back and rubbed it gently.

“You do now, sweetie, you do now,” Janet said softly.

---

 
The Following Day:

It had been a long day, and Janet was ready to crash even though five o'clock was still over an hour away. Candace came into the Clinic and said,

“You got time to talk?” Janet looked up at her and smiled. Anyone else would have gotten a reply best left unsaid, but Candace was almost her world, so to speak. She waved Candace around and smiled as the girl hugged her tightly with an “mmmmm.”

“I love your hugs, kiddo, you do know that?” Janet said as Candace grabbed a chair from Karen’s office and scooted over next to Janet’s desk.

“I think I know what I want to be when I grow up,” Candace said it in an almost sing-song voice to kid Janet. They had been joking about it since Candace recently passed 5’9’ and was already eye to forehead with Janet.

“Okay, child of mine, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Janet smiled. The girl was determined to face life head on. She was doing much better than anyone had expected in therapy, and her hormone treatment was going as her doctor had anticipated. She would likely have surgery sometime after her eighteenth birthday, which was now less than two years away. By the time the summer would be over that year, her plans were to enter Johns Hopkins University as a Nursing student with the goal of becoming a nurse practitioner.

“I want to go into Obstetrics!” Candace practically yelled. Most parents would have been even the tiniest bit disappointed if their child didn’t follow them in their field. Not Janet. She understood even as the words left Candace’s mouth.

“You know, after being here for a while and being with you, I think I want to be where people ‘check in’ instead of ‘check out.’” She giggled, which got Janet laughing.

“Sounds like a great plan, baby girl. You think you can handle it?” Janet smiled, knowing full well the girl could likely handle anything thrown at her after her horrific childhood. At sixteen she had a good head on her shoulders, with a heart of compassion that beat loud and clear.

“No problem! Just one thing, though…it’s not much, if you don’t mind.” She smiled as Janet looked at her quizzically.

“Once the adoption papers go through, can I start callin’ you Mom?” Janet thought she was kidding, but she looked and saw tears in the girl’s eyes. Janet started to mist up, no knowing what to say. Candace did, and she went ahead and said it.

“Never mind, just forget about it,” she said in a mock serious voice. “I can’t wait…Mom!” She threw her arms around Janet and produced an envelope.

“Irene handed it to me when I got off the bus. ‘Candace Maria Martinez...McGuire.’ I’m all yours!” She threw her arms around Janet and began to cry, but the tears both of them shed were supremely joyful.”

“Has a nice sound to it, Candace McGuire.” Candace said as Janet hugged her and cried harder and happier than she had ever cried before.

---

Several Weeks Later:

A knock came at the office door. Beth looked up to see a woman about her own age standing in the doorway. She was dressed in modest slacks; grey and a mint green satin blouse with short sleeves. Her black hair, while short, still was attractive. What drew Beth into a stare was the woman’s piercing blue-green eyes, almost ocean-like.

“Hi, I’m Billie Penn. Irene said to give these to you. You’re Beth, right?” She said sheepishly with a smile. To say that Billie “cleaned up well” would be an understatement. A month of therapy and support, coupled with a new wardrobe, had done wonders for her self-esteem. She still had a very long way to go in recovery, but the start out of the blocks was, as they say, explosive!

“Yes, I’m Beth. We met at the picnic last month. I’m glad to be getting some help.” Beth stood up and walked to the doorway. She held her hand out to accept the papers. As they brushed hands Billie got a chill and shrugged her shoulders. And Beth just got a chill.
 

 
Next: Patient In Affliction
 

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Maybe You'll Be There
As Performed by Diana Krall
Words and Music by
Sammy Gallop and Rube Bloom
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOVBqHBIRM0