The return of Chris, Global tour host, or should I say Nena? After the events of "Hostess" he vowed never to wear a frock again, but girlfriend Julia came up with a challenge - is Chris man enough for the job?
Will he survive the experience?
Das Ist Normal
by Maddy Bell
All Rights Reserved.
Her Official Web Site is at MaddyBell.com Please Visit!
Bill was waiting in reception for us. Den's outburst at Maria Laach had kept me quiet for the short drive around the lake and down to Andernach, Bill was really the last person I wanted to see right now!
"I see you have everything under control Chr.. Nena"
"Good day? It was the train trip wasn't it?"
"Hi Bill!" Den greeted our employer as he arrived after parking the coach up.
"Okay Den, how's our girl doing then?"
This was embarrassing.
"I've er got to go, you know"
"Oh sure, your case is in your room. See you at dinner" Bill dismissed me
"Er yeah, see you later, Den"
"Seven o'clock Nena"
I beat my retreat and headed for the annex and a shower. I don't need this! I never realised before but Bill was showing all the signs of being a male chauvinist pig! And I'm stuck with him on my tour! I chuntered to myself as I walked along the street so I didn't notice that I was being watched by the youths gathered over in the little park.
||I was still muttering when I got out of the shower. Ah well, I'm stuck here as Nena now, no point in bitching about it. I opened my case and surveyed the contents. Jeez! Skirts, bras, tights. I decided I'd better unpack so I skittered about wrapped in a towel hanging and folding 'my' wardrobe for the week.|
||I settled on a skirt with a flowery ruffled hem and a sort of gypsy top. I stood in front of the mirror and surveyed my image, looking back was a sullen looking young woman, not a bloke in drag, definitely female. Sure her chest was not sporting huge breasts but they looked real enough.|
||I sighed. It seemed like fun last time and I know that it was my fault I was stood here now but at this moment, happy I was not! I sat down and pulled a pair of tights on and found a suitable pair of shoes and slipped them on. I glanced at the clock, five thirty, and decided to go for a walk before dinner. I returned to the mirror and brushed my hair out, damn I look even more girly now! I added some lippy and there was no doubt now, looking back from the mirror was Nena Ziegler.|
I gazed at the sassy outfit!
Grabbing 'my' handbag and jacket, I left for my walk. The early evening was still bright and warm but I slipped the jacket on to save carrying it and headed towards the pedestrianised center of the town. I smiled to myself, who would have thought a fortnight ago that I'd be here now, walking around Germany like this! I found myself drawn to the shoe shops and boutiques; damn that outfit in Orsay looks well sassy! I lined my reflection up with the mannequin and imagined myself wearing the outfit.
What am I thinking? I moved on and found myself walking towards the mighty Rhein, flowing past the manicured gardens of Andernach's waterfront. The riverside breeze brushed my skirt against my nylon-clad legs as I walked along towards the old crane. Several skaters and bike riders passed me and we exchanged greetings. I lent against the railings contemplating life but the church bells roused me. Damn! I should be back at the hotel now!
As myself I would have legged it and been there in about five minutes, dressed as I am that is not an option! I headed back towards the town, impatiently waiting at the crossing for the traffic to stop before heading through the arch into the walled town. I hurried as best I could in the court shoes and skirt, oblivious to everything around me. Back across the pedestrian zone, nearly there!
So intent on getting to my destination was I that I didn't hear the moped coming up behind me. The first I knew was when I was struck a glancing blow and my bag was dragged from my shoulder.
"Hey!" I screamed as I was dragged along hanging on to my bag.
The youth was a bit unbalanced by this and I doggedly hung on as he finally lost control, released my bag strap and desperately tried to control the bike. I watched in shock as he swerved out into the road to be broad sided by a poor woman in a Passat.
The voice spoke in German.
"Are you okay jung Frau?"
"Er yes, I think so, he...my bag"
"It's okay," the guy told me draping a comforting arm around me.
"Nena!" apparently alerted by the sound of the crash, Den came running up the street from the annex. My Good Samaritan relinquished me to Den and crossed to the crash scene.
"Are you okay? What happened?"
"He, he tried to grab my bag" I pointed at the mangled moped, still shaking badly. A siren dopplered in the distance and it suddenly came to me that this could be serious, the Polizei would want statements and ID and here I am dressed as a girl using someone else's passport!
"I am in deep shit Den"
"Why should you be?"
"Oh right. Look don't worry, we'll get it sorted out"
"I hope so"
By now both a police car and ambulance had arrived and considering it was Sunday evening, quite a crowd of gawkers had assembled which the cops were trying to clear. I spotted the Samaritan talking to a policewoman, gesticulating and pointing first at the injured youth then towards me. She jotted something in her notebook then headed towards Den and I.
"You are okay Fraulein?" the familiar question in German
"Yes thank you"
"I need to ask some questions please"
She asked her questions, what happened? what did you see? Well you know the sort of thing.
"Thank you Frau Ziegler, if you can come to the station later, I will take your statement"
"Er okay. Is he hurt badly?"
"Broken leg I think, at least it will keep him out of trouble for a while, drugs you know"
"See you later"
Den had been waiting patiently all this time.
"I've got to go and make an official statement but it seems okay so far"
"They'll want ID when you give your statement"
"I know, what am I going to do?"
"For now eat, we'll think of something"
We walked back to the Vulkan-Eifel, where no one was aware of the drama just up the street.
"Ah there you are, everything okay?" Margrit asked as we entered the dining room.
"An accident up the street" Den answered
"A motorbike and car" I offered
"Motorbikes! Is everyone okay?"
"A broken leg"
"I'm famished!" Den mentioned
Somehow I'd lost my appetite. At least we wouldn't have Bill with us at table; he was deep in conversation with some of the other passengers.
"Sit, I'll get you some food"
"The way you're still shaking you'd spill it before you got back to the table!"
I hadn't noticed till then, but yes I was still shaking a bit. I smiled and waved at a couple of passengers who caught my eye and gratefully slipped into a seat facing out of the room. I was still worried about the statement business and my food when Den delivered it went almost untouched
"I'd best tell Bill," I mentioned as Den polished off my cheesecake.
"Later, I've got an idea"
An hour later I emerged from the Police station.
"It worked didn't it?" Den stated
"Yes but I hate lying, especially to the police"
"It was only a little lie"
"Yeah well. As I'm not pressing charges that should be the end of it"
"He's got his punishment girl, he'll be out of commission for a while"
"I guess so"
"Come on, let's go get a drink"
We set off back towards the main square in the gathering gloom.
"You never said what you told Bill."
"No I didn't did I" and he didn't again!
Owl, my head hurts! Last night was a blur, I'm sure Den was intentionally getting me sloshed and I let him! I dressed in jeans and T, today is Bonn and Ká¶nigswinter and I've got half an hour to get my breakfast!
"Good morning everyone" I put on my best cheerful face to greet the bus and got the expected mumbles in reply. I looked for Bill; he was sitting towards the back and was again deep in conversation with the couple across the aisle. Once Den had us on our way, only a couple of minutes late, I started my bus walk. We set off up the riverside road north through Bad Breisig, Remagen, the sun glinting off the apparently smooth river waters. The road plunged us into the never-ending roadworks north of Bad Godesberg and a little after ten fifteen we pulled up outside the railway station.
"Twelve thirty back here please" I advised my charges before they disembarked.
"You going in" Den asked when all of our punters were safely heading for Bonn's shopping streets.
"No she, he's not" Bill's voice stated, "Someone is going to tell me what last night was all about."
Den navigated us around the city center and we finally parked near the Rheinhalle by the river.
"Coffee?" I offered
"Please Chris" Bill allowed
A few minutes later the inquisition started!
"Oh boy!" Bill sighed
"So you see why we didn't say anything?" Den pointed out
"How did you know something was up Bill?"
"Come on, it wasn't rocket science! My top driver and host arrive an hour late for dinner and then they hide in a corner. If that wasn't enough, they then disappear straight after eating not to be seen again till this morning. If you'd been a woman I would have assumed an assignation"
"That's hardly fair!" I interjected
"Let me finish, as you aren't female, either my driver is gay or there's another explanation, I assumed the latter"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence" Den intoned
"Look, if it affects the tour I need to know. If you two want to get it on that's up to you but I will not have Global involved in anything that will affect business."
"It was an assault on one of your staff!" Den was angry now.
"Calm down Dennis. I'm sorry if I sound like I don't care but you should have told me last night."
"Okay, maybe we should have. It's done now, can we drop it?"
"I suppose so, but Chris"
"NENA!" Den and I chorused. That broke the mood
"Whatever" Bill shook his head.
The alarm went off, time to go collect the punters.
The drive over the river and down to Ká¶nigswinter took half an hour and we parked up by the railway. There was no way I was staying with the bus here, dinner was calling! I gave the passengers a run down and directions then Bill, Den and I headed for the Drachenfels funicular. It was not a surprise to find most of our passengers waiting for it too.
Once at the top we headed for the restaurant and as it was a pleasant day, sat on the balcony that gives some of the best views over this bit of the Rhein and the Hohe Eifel. There was a heat haze across the distant hills but the volcanic cones that make the Eifel what it is poked up clearly from the forests.
Down on the river ships and barges either sped downstream or struggled up towards Koblenz. As I sat there day dreaming, all thoughts of last night, Nena and work drifted away. The sounds of holidaymakers, the wind tugging at my hair, I relaxed fully for the first time since last Wednesday!
"Nena? You coming?"
"Oh right, er yeah. Where's Bill?"
"Gone back down about ten minutes ago"
"Sorry I wasn't paying attention"
You can see the distant volcanic cones on the horizon from up here.
"Come on, let's go up to the castle"
I gathered my stuff and joined him in the short walk up to the Drachenfels ruins. The same view but more so! The farthest peaks must be over thirty miles away.
"Penny for 'em"
"Oh I was just thinking about life in general"
"That's pretty heavy"
"Not really, last night, before you know, well I found myself imagining wearing this outfit in one of the shops."
"Not a shirt and trousers I take it"
"No where near! That's the thing, it's like when I'm dressed like this, as Nena, well I sort of become Nena. You said it yourself yesterday, I act like a girl, I look like a girl, I sort of become a girl. Is that weird?"
"It's not like I even thought of putting women's clothes on before Austria. I always thought I was quite, I don't know, not butch, manly"
"I think I know what you mean, you were never a he man though"
"I know that but I don't think I looked girly either, did I?"
"Let's go down," he mentioned leading the way.
"Well maybe not girly, call it soft featured"
"Thanks! I needed that, not!"
"Oh come on Ch..Nena. I never thought you were a poof or anything, I still don't despite appearances. It's hard for me too you know. What Bill said earlier, if you were a woman I would have made a play on you by now"
"Well, I'm only human and even in that outfit you look hot. That leather dress, well it was a struggle!"
"I don't think I want to hear any more"
We walked back to the tramway in silence, with a short detour to the ladies for me. Ladies. I realised then that I wasn't that bothered now about using the female facilities. What does that mean?
I left Den back at the bus and took a walk down to the river. I watched the car ferry as it made it's way across the busy river, an idea germinated and I walked back up to the coach arriving with enough time for a brew before our cargo returned. I made my suggestion to Den.
"Now that's why you are our best Host"
"Don't you mean Hostess" I joked
The passengers returned and embarrassingly for him, Bill was the last back. Den worked his way down to the riverfront while I checked on our passenger's welfare. We sedately worked our way south through Bad Honnef, Unkel, and Linz am Rhein all the way down to Bad Há¶nningen where we left the main road and threaded our way through to the river for the surprise. The road literally runs into the river and there mid stream was the ferry heading away at the moment.
"You sure about this?" Den asked
"I've seen coaches on here before"
By now most of the punters were aware that we were stopped and an air of excitement pervaded the coach. Well you don't often cross a river by ferry and not on a coach tour, that's what bridges are for!
Den's reservations were unfounded and the conductor waved us on board without hesitation. We had to wait a few minutes while a huge double container barge made it's way upstream. Then we headed out onto the waters of the Rhein. When you are just a few feet above the water you get a whole new perspective on things. The crossing took barely five minutes, but the coach was buzzing. Up the ramp and onto the west bank and another ten minutes drive returned us to the 'Eifel. Another successful excursion!
Photos © Maddy Bell 2001,2002
End of Part 4
To Be Continued...
Pictures of Nena have been generated using Ania's 'Cherie' Fkiss doll on Angy-Chan's template and are Copyright 2004. They are used with permission, if you'd like to see more go to www.acharsi.prv.pl
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