Total Recall

Chapter 23

Epilogue - the full and final 2nd version, (alternative theme)

Sunday approaches and Karen and Jenny have agreed the way the day should go…….
Christine is on her way to Cornwall, not knowing even that Jenny exists,
but determined that a new beginning is possible!

Dramatis personae

Jenny — hairdresser, 44 years old, born and raised locally in Cornwall. Has travelled the world, including working in hair and beauty on cruise liners, but now runs her own business in a little village near the artists mecca of St. Ives. She loves her horses and the freedom of her independent life. Has no long-term steady partner. Genuinely hetero but has enjoyed all-girl relationships in the past. Swept up in the last couple of weeks in a relationship with Andy whose fantasy she has indulged…. and enjoyed! Very girly and loves being so. Worried that the return of “Wifey” may turn Andy’s head and mean she loses Karen as her lover.

Karen — 60-ish self-employed male, born Andy, who works from home — once in London, now mainly in rural Cornwall, has had a love-hate affair with his crossdressing. It’s been both a source of happiness and a source of sadness. Married to Christine who hasn’t understood his passion in the past and whose career has increasingly taken her away, leaving Andy to play his alter ego, Karen, more and more. Has a strong fetish for hair and beauty. When dressed, feels very girly and loves being so. Uncertain how Christine will behave on her return but hopeful she’ll have changed her mind.

Christine — 50+, successful businesswoman who travels frequently. Had children early in life with their Father, Andy. Discovered his crossdressing over 20 years ago. Not interested then or turned on by that in any way. Resented him/it for years, with resulting loss of a sex life between them. Stayed together for the ‘sake of the children’. Christine knows nothing of his recent escapades or the existence of Jenny and Andy’s new relationship with her. Divides her time between travels and hotels, meetings with colleagues and pitching/delivering to her management consulting clients. Was once quite girly but has let her job dictate that she’s become ‘very business-like’ to the exclusion of her femininity. Has resolved, while in the U.S., to come home and make their marriage begin again….. with a fresh start…….

It’s Sunday morning, and a confrontation is due. Christine has been away from home for a couple of weeks. During that time, Andy found the courage to engage with, and have the help of, Jenny, the local salon’s owner

Sunday morning dawns with Christine setting off, driving her own car, in the direction of home in Cornwall. She had over-nighted in a hotel at London’s Heathrow Airport. It would be nearly four hours before her arrival. Today, she would seek a rapprochement with Andy about his crossdressing which, she if she handled it right and with her permission, he could continue in a limited way.

Meanwhile, Karen, Andy’s female half, and Jenny, who had become his lover by now, were enjoying breakfast in the sunny garden behind Jenny’s cottage. They both felt relaxed after an evening’s dinner and wonderful night of sex at Jenny’s little house in the little village of Marazion where she lives.

“Are you going to meet her at home?” Jenny asked, still not sure of Andy’s plans.

“I think it would be best…….” said Andy.

“Are you going to meet her as Karen?” Jenny thought she knew the answer.

“I think it would be too much of a confrontation. But she will meet Karen today.” He answered.

“I think she’ll guess that something’s changed, even if you’re not dressed…. Or made-up. Your hair is inescapably female. Do you want some help with it? There’s a way that we can calm it all down, whilst preserving the curls, and then have you liven it up before her seeing you dressed. I’ll show you how……” Jenny offered, wanting the encounter with Christine to lead on to her finding Andy on her doorstep that evening… to stay!

Andy, or rather Karen, smiled nervously, but assuredly. It was to be this way. “help with my hair would be great, thank you.”

********
Andy arrived back at his own place around lunchtime, his girly clothes being removed as soon as he got upstairs. No more the flowing skirt and the pretty blouse, no more — just for today — underwear that shouted ‘fuck me!’, no more sling-back heeled shoes.

No more make-up either. Karen’s face had to be removed and that would take more time. Andy had done this enough times to make sure that every trace of cosmetics was removed, but it took time and copious quantities of moisturizer, cleansing creams and nail polish remover. He rather enjoyed this process….. hiding away the ‘Karen’ within him, revealing the ‘Andy’ whom he was inside just for now.

Finally, he looked into the mirror on Christine’s vanity dressing table, finding himself satisfied with the male image that presented itself…. Male, that was, but for the curly Gypsy style in his hair. Jenny had done a good job to reduce the femininity that he had loved so much about the style, but it was still unnatural. So what — he wasn’t entirely natural, was he?!

He dressed in denim jeans, a Surfer’s tee-shirt, slip-on sandals and he put back on his male jewellery; the neck chain and both his signet and wedding rings. These had been replaced by some fancy girly stuff for most of the past week or more. He checked the hair against the final image… it was a little incongruous but, what the hell!

He went downstairs and took a beer from the fridge, starting to drink direct from the 500ml bottle which soon was depleted. Nothing like a good beer on a Sunday!

He sat back and waited for Christine to arrive, rehearsing in his mind the few opening sentences he would use………

********

Christine turned her key in the lock of their cottage. She hadn’t called to tell Andy what time she would be home but he could work that out for himself.

“Anyone home?” she called. Andy, dressed as Andy, was downstairs in the garden room, fiddling with his hair and checking that, again, there was no trace of make-up on his face and neck-line. He was glad that he had not worn his favourite girl panties and a light bra under his shirt and heavy sweater, which whilst they would have given him comfort and pleasure, would just be wrong for his planned conversation with Christine. I’m gonna go through with this… I’m gonna try my hardest to have her go along with staying together but with some minor adaptations, some days!. He thought to himself.

So, out to the hallway he went, to where Christine was unloading the contents of her car.

“Hi, honey…” he said, hoping she would be at least amenable. “…. How was your trip?”

“Good, thanks….. And I’m not too tired really, the flight was long but I did sleep quite well. The drive home has been quite easy with no traffic and lousy weather for only a bit of it…” she said, looking at Andy with increasing curiosity.

“That’s good…. Would you like a drink? I’m having a beer…” said Andy in welcoming tones.

“I’d love a Gin & Tonic, please……. Andy, you look different….. How are you?..........” and she paused,

“I’m good.” he replied, aware of her penetrating gaze now focussed on his head — and the top of his head….. “It’s been quiet while you’ve been away. You look as though you’ve had a good visit to the U.S. Did you meet new people and was the trip a success?” Small talk….

“It was very good and yes, successful…… You’re looking good, Andy, but there’s something different………….I know, ……it’s the hair…. What have you done to your hair……..? You’ve never been curly like that……. I mean, I see it’s flattened but there’s a real curl about it? How come? I actually quite like it…….”

Christine was right. She knew he’d changed his hair and it must have been part of his dressing while she was away. She was determined not to let this dissuade her from seeking that rapprochement ……

“Do you.. really? I’m glad….. I’ve been thinking about my appearance a lot…. I’ve kinda thought that it’s time for a change……. Come and let me pour that Gin, …. I’ve got some things to tell you……..”

The couple moved into the kitchen where Andy reached into the refrigerator for some ice and into the unit where the Gin as to be found. Quickly, with a slice of lemon added, he gave his wife her preferred restorative drink. “I’ll get myself another beer too” he said, giving himself time to find that elusive courage…. I’m gonna do this……

“I do like your hair, honey” said Christine, “It looks like you had fun creating the look….”

This is the moment, he thought, this is it…

“Well, I guess you could say I did……. Anyone might think it’s not very masculine….. but… well, that didn’t really matter to me.. in fact, I kinda wanted it not to look at all that way….” Andy was warming to his message.

“You mean, you wanted a less boy/man look?” asked Christine…… “That’s quite unusual at the age you’ve reached, my husband…” Christine was beginning to see where this was leading, but she couldn’t be sure……

“Well, not for me, not really…….” Andy hesitated, only momentarily. “I mean, there’s always been a feeling there….”

“That you have a girly side…. Yes, I’ve always known that…….. For obvious reasons… All those years ago….” Christine was trying to make it easy for him but ended up sounding critical…

Andy reacted, in a way he didn’t want to. “Oh, please don’t… don’t bring up my mistakes from all that time ago ….. You know I was very sorry about that — it was very unwanted…. From your point of view, I know that…… You didn’t…. I mean… I couldn’t…. um, what I mean is, I wanted to explain but never got the chance because I handled it all so badly….. It was my fault, all the way through…. Ad I’m sorry — you know… you must know………. Damn! I was NOT going to get back to apologizing, like I always do!! Andy told himself….. Get a grip on yourself! By now, Andy was gabbling unconnected phrases.

This was not going according to plan… Christine could tell. She decided to take control of the situation….. “Andy, I know I’ve been harder to live with ever since, but let’s forget all about the past…… What about now? How are you feeling? What’s it like when I’m away?” she asked, knowing that Andy regularly dressed in her clothes…… Nothing escapes a woman’s eyes for long! She thought before continuing. Andy was quiet, unsure how to get back on his planned track. Christine was taking him further down that path on her own….

“Hey, honey, don’t you worry…. No need to say sorry and more. There is no need at all. In fact, I’ve realized that I didn’t help at all in those times. In fact, I must have made life much more difficult.. Please don’t you say ‘sorry’ a single more time… Please… Just tell me how you’re feeling now…. And I’ll tell you where I’m coming from….”

Christine’s tone was conciliatory and understanding, and sympathetic….

“I’m sorry…” he began…… “DON’T SAY THAT!” Jenny interrupted….. “Tell me how you’re feeling now. Say, over the last few days.” She really wanted to know.

Andy paused. He had reached this point so many times inside his head. He did enjoy his dressing. But he would never want NOT to be married. He needed companionship. He needed a lover…. He was getting neither now; nor was Christine. He wanted resolution…. Jesus! How had he gotten himself into this situation….. If only his revelations years ago hadn’t been taken the wrong way…

“You can tell me……. Honey, I’ve been thinking a lot too………” Jenny encouraged him.

“Well, it’s complicated…….. You know…. You’ve known that… well, I have another side to me…. A side that you didn’t want to now….” “DON’T SAY THAT!” she said again….. “OK…” Well, that side of me has gotten stronger not weaker over the years and I’ve had to be secretive about it more and more…….” “I know, I do know.. and I’m sad for you that you’ve felt that way because of me….” Christine was genuinely sorry.

“Well, I do dress from time to time, when you’re away mostly. It’s easy at home and I’ve never dared to go out and about while I am……” “Dressed?” Christine finished his sentence for him.

“Yes, dressed… I mean, no, I haven’t.. gone out that is, not dressed…. Only at home…….. It’s just that I love the feeling of being feminine and having a different self…… And no, I honestly don’t want to attract other men….. I’m strictly a girl’s girl…… when I’m a girl, that is.

“Honest? Never been out? Surely….”

“Well, not until this last couple of weeks…….. And I’ve had some help. I’ve shared my secret with someone else… Someone I’d like you to meet.” Andy meant this. Jenny was so special and had been so helpful, he had found himself in love all over again….. But when he thought about it, he didn’t want his marriage to end…….

“You mean you have a lover? Is this another ‘dresser’? What do you mean? How can I meet ‘her’? What’s changed? How did you come to meet this person? You have to clear things up Andy, because suddenly I’m confused…” Christine was genuinely confused and surprised.

“OK, OK. Please don’t mistake my intentions…… yes, she has been my lover, while you’ve been away, but only in the last few days. She let me tell her all about my past and my inability to resist my temptation. She asked to see me dressed and offered to help me with hair and make-up. You see, she’s a professional hairdresser, just locally here……. She’s helped me to see though my own thoughts and to find what I hope could be a way for us to work out our differences……”

Christine put her head on one side and said, “I think the time’s come for me to meet you as your other self…. Then we can talk, and then we can see if I should meet this lady. What’s her name?”

“Jenny. OK, let me get dressed…….. Forgive me if you recognize some of the clothes.. I have some of my own but……. Yours do fit quite well……..”

“OK, so be it…….. I suppose you have a name for this other self too?”

“Uh-huh, I’m called Karen……….” And off Andy went to the bedroom to change, while Christine consumed her Gin & Tonic with thoughts running wild. There could be a future, but she would have to be strong…..

********

Back at Jenny’s, in the early evening, Karen arrived at the door, knocked and, when Jenny opened the door, said…… “Hello Jenny. I’ve got someone I really want you to meet……….. It’s Christine….. I do really want her to meet you and to get to know you….. Can we come in?, …….please? ”

Jenny was stunned….. “This wasn’t how I expected it to be…..!” She looked over Karen’s shoulder (yes, this was Karen, not Andy) and thought…… He’s dressed….And she’s with him… er, … her! She must be OK with it… I thought he said it was all a source of conflict between them…..!!! What….???

“I’m pleased to meet you, Jenny….” said Christine, holding out her hand to shake….. “…You’ve been a great help to my husband, it seems, while I’ve been away……. I think you might be the right person to do me a make-over too!”

“Looks like a new square one….. for all of us I mean……..” said Jenny, smiling and reaching out her hand. “Come on inside. I was dreading never seeing you …….”

AND THE REST IS A HAPPY ENDING,
ALBEIT WITH THREE CHANGED RELATIONSHIPS.

THE END