The Bestest Christmas Ever!

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The Bestest Christmas Ever
Copyright  © 2009 Carla Ann, All Rights Reserved

Mistakes can happen at the North Pole too. Damn computers!

Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any and all references to names, products, toys, persons, etc. are entirely the work of my demented imagination. This is also set in the same plane (universe) as Bobby and Bethany. For lack of a better term, I'll call it the CarlaVerse for now

No toys were injured or kept up past their bedtimes in the making of this story.

Pleeeeeze leave a comment!

My apologies for my tardiness. I wanted so much to post this before Christmas but real life intervened. I hope you enjoy nevertheless.


...

"That's right. Now just put the batteries back in, the springy part goes against the fat end of the battery. Got it? Good. Never mind screwing down that screw for now, just put the dress back on and fasten the Velcro. Check it now. Oh good I can hear her chattering and moving her arms. Looks like we got it!...Well, yes I'm required by law to tell you to screw the screw back in but unless you're worried about your little girl eating the batteries you really don't need to. Besides, you're going to be putting in at least one more set of batteries later today anyway, you can trust me on that. But you didn't hear that from me...Thank you! Is there anything else I can help you with? No, well then thank you for calling the Cathy Cuddly Hotline. I'm sure your little girl will make a terrific mom for her new Cathy, and from all of us at Cathy Cuddly, have a safe and Merry Christmas. Good night."

I broke the connection and looked around my cramped apartment. It was shabby alright, the floor lamp provided the only light, discolored as it was by the torn lampshade. My bed sagged over at the side of the room, unmade.

The clock on my cable box showed that it was 2:00AM Christmas Day. I guessed I could finally call it a night, the last call had been preceded by at least a twenty minute lapse. Anyone who was still doing gifts at this hour would just have to wait until after Christmas. I dialed back into the office and transferred the hotline so it wouldn't forward to my apartment, then shut down my laptop. Without it the Smartjack wouldn't work, and my phone was gauranteed not to ring. Callers to my employer would be politely directed to leave a message to be returned by one of Cathy Cuddly's Helpful Elves on December twenty sixth.

I never intended to become a Cathy Cuddly Helpful Elf. With a Masters in Computer Science I had been a young lion in the dot com industry. But with the bust following the boom came unemployment, and in the end my telephone skills and knowledge of little girls toys finally landed me a job on a helpdesk. That was good, I could do the job from home. My car had repossessed months ago.

Walking into the kitchenette I noticed that something smelled sour like rotten trash again. Guess I'd have to call Norm again, that's the third time the birds had built a nest in the roof vent and now all the sewer vapors for the building were coming out of the broken vacuum breaker under my sink again.

Geez it smells bad in here!

I quickly grabbed the rest of my sandwich from the fridge and the bottle of cheap Merlot I had picked up on the way home.

My Christmas Eve celebration. Hah!

As I turned to go back into the "living room", or "other room" as most people would say, once again I twisted the faucet handle, unsuccessful at stopping the incessant dripping. I retreated to my threadbare couch and pulled the fleece blanket back over my legs. Norm was saving on heating oil this month too.

He's going to have to turn it up at least a bit, the outside walls are starting to sweat again.

I poured wine into the empty tumbler on the beat up coffee table and turned on the TV to "It's a Wonderful Life." The TV station was alternating it with the original Miracle on 34th Street over and over for the next two days. I let it play even though I wasn't interested.

Clarence the Angel had gotten it wrong in the movie. It really would have been better to never have been born for some people. Maybe not for George, but some. Me, for example.

I downed the wine with my sandwich and poured another glass almost emptying the bottle. I should just go to bed but I didn't want to face the morning. It would be another Christmas totally alone in a crappy apartment, a perfect complement to my hopeless existence. I could feel the wine beginning to have an effect, I was getting sleepy and more depressed by the minute.

Perhaps if I drink enough it'll kill me.

I immediately heard Peggy Lee singing "Is that all there is" in my head. Guess maybe not. I'm not ready to face 'that final disappointment' either.

I looked around to see if there was something to read, finding only the helpdesk scripts on the end table, and numerous catalogs for various dolls and other toys. My one indulgence. Rather unsteadily I stood and closed the distance to my dollhouse and looked inside. Rommy and Delia were still in the kitchen, no doubt still talking about the cute new boy down the street. Rommy had one foot on the umbrella stroller at her feet, nudging it every so often so her litle sister Connie wouldn't wake. Off to the side at a bigger table sat Lucy, a very cuddly nineteen inch doll, having a tea party with Snuggles the Bear.

I had rescued Lucy from the dumpster at Cathy Cuddly, she'd been tossed when her machinery failed and she'd been returned. I had done a bit of surgery and removed her mechanics. Now she didn't move on her own, or talk in that ridiculously chattery way her programmers had chosen. Instead we communicated telepathically, as most dolls do with their mommies. I picked up Lucy, she was wearing the same outfit as yesterday. I retrieved the blue jumper from her wardrobe and carefully dressed her, adding baby blue tights, mary janes and a cute hair bow.

"That's better! You are SOOO cute! How about coming over to the couch and keeping me company for a while?" Back to the couch I headed, Lucy on my arm. I poured the rest of the wine in the glass and started to drink.

"No, I'm afraid you can't have any of this Lucy. It's for big girls. I'll get you some hot chocolate in a few minutes, ok?" That seemed to satisfy her, Lucy pretty much went along with everything I said. She was a lot better than all those people out there beyond the door to my apartment, and she never seemed to be bothered by my seeming misuse of pronouns. She knows her Mommie, in spite of how I look. Together we turned our attention back to the TV.

"My life's crap but at least I have you. Merry Christmas, honey!" I reached over and pulled out the Fedex box under the cushion. Inside I knew there would be a pretty pink party dress, some lacy socks and a pair of white shoes for her. She smiled at me but I could see she was too far gone to do more so I just set the unopened box on the coffee table and let her cuddle to me. "Okay, sleep, honey. We'll open it in the morning." She snuggled a bit tighter to me as I turned my attention back to the TV just in time to see the whole town show up at George's house and shower him with more than enough money to make the missing deposit. It started to get a bit fuzzy...

...

It was much warmer now, and very comfy. I thought I heard a noise. Kind of like a scuffling but quiet, like someone was putting something away quietly. I opened my eyes and looked around but there was nothing to see except a pinpoint of light across the room. The liquor store sign across the street must have broken. It's just staying on. It usually blinks. As my eyes adjusted to the miniscule lighting, I reached up to brush something from my face and I saw a tiny hand on a pudgy little arm moving toward my face, with what looked like a pink scrunchy worn as a bracelet. The something in my face turned out to be hair of some kind.

"OOPS!" a quiet voice uttered in the room. "You weren't supposed to wake yet! Nobody is actually supposed to see me!" Someone really big and red and white was moving quickly to my bed. My bed? He quickly tugged the covers up and tucked me in as if I were four.

"Are you....." I started to ask but heard a breathy high pitched voice full of wonderment instead.

"Shhhhh!!" He stage whispered. "Ah I see you're awake. I guess I better explain, you probably still think you're Charley." Huh? What the heck's he talking about? Funny, nothing seems particularly out of place, and I'm not afraid. Weird. This is familiar. My bedroom. My toys. My furniture. But it can't be. I wonder if this is another alcohol induced dream. At least this one isn't scary. No one's chasing me. In fact this is about as close as possible to my ultimate dream, if only it could be true.

"First, no you're not dreaming. But before your mind gets fully in gear, let me apologize. We had a computer glitch."

"A 'put'r gl..?" a little voice started to ask but was cut off. Hey. that's what I was thinking.

"Well not a computer like you know it. This one runs North Pole Central Operations. It was put in place and turned on before people were using electricity. Normally it works pretty good, but sometimes, like all computers it makes mistakes."

"Mistakes?"

"Well, yes. Normally it runs all the toy making operations, and logistics. By two hundred years ago there were just too many kids for me to deliver to personally, so the computer took over and it now teleports the toys into the households. It took our elves a lot of years to get it right, the hardest part was doing a hologram that could materialize solid enough to eat cookies, and another to leave sleigh tracks and reindeer footprints on the roofs. It took a big load off, so now I can concentrate on the special kids that need a little something extra, like you!"

He sat on the edge of the bed and lay his big hand on my chest. I could feel the warmth of his hands even through his mittens and my thick quilts.

"It can do some other neat stuff too. One year, nineteen forty something or other I think, give or take ten years, we actually got a whole day ahead of production, so the elves animated a snowman for some kids. That was fun, but they made the mistake of letting Frosty be seen by an adult, in this case a traffic cop. Luckily nobody believed the poor guy when he went to the tavern after work.

"Another time they turned a special velveteen rabbit into a real live little bunny. Someone wrote a story about that, I think, but if so they put it into a different setting. Anyway, we deliver a lot of books every year about a velveteen rabbit. Normally though we just use any leftover processing power to give kids sweet dreams. There's never too many of those," he said with a wink. The crows feet around his eyes just magnified the sparkle in them. I giggled in spite of myself. This has to be a dream.

"But in your case things got a bit mixed up. Your letters to Santa got waylaid and ended up in an error log. See, whenever a kid writes a letter to Santa, as soon as it's sealed the computer gets it and puts it in the appropriate input queue. Don't ask me how, 'cause I don't know. My job is to make kids laugh and feel good about themselves, and generally spoil them. I leave the details to the elves. Those guys are the technical pros. Anyway, the computer kept getting letters from this male kid in the orphanage named Charley but it kept trying to put it in the girls input queue. It didn't help that they were signed Caitlin, it just confused the matter. Unfortunately that log file only gets reviewed and purged every twenty years or so, so it was just this year we found it.

"I was shocked and floored by your requests. Not that I hadn't seen requests like this before, or it was anything beyond our capabilities, we've even dealt with similar requests in the past. But I was shocked the system had lost you. Oh child my heart goes out to you. All those years of hopelessness in that terrible place, and no one even acknowledged the real you. Then to find yourself living a lie in a dead-end life with no friends and no prospects for improvement. I'm so sorry we failed you!"

"Are you sure this isn't a dream?" Again, a little voice quietly asked. That voice. It keeps echoing my thoughts. Strange.

"No, child. This is real. The problem is, you still remember Charley. I hadn't gotten to the part where we could have you let go of that yet. It makes things a bit more complicated but it'll be all right. I'll just have to explain first.

"Here goes. First things first. I read your first letter, the one you sent when you were four? Well your writing wasn't so good then but luckily everyone at the North Pole is fluent in pictures. That's when you asked to be turned into a girl, and bring you a dolly. You were so sweet, you said that if either one was too much to ask that you'd be happy if you just got either. Unfortunately that was the year the orphanage took a wooden train they'd gotten from Toys For Tots, and gave one car to every male child so everyone could have something to call their own. I looked back through the GoodOrBadCam logs for that year and was heartbroken and appalled to see that you waited for all the other kids to go to sleep so you could put that paper towel dress on your toy boxcar and cuddle 'her.' You called her Katie. But I felt even worse when I saw the entry for the next month and found another letter from you thanking me for the wonderful gift. It's not often I weep for my children but I shed quite a few tears over you.

"The very next year we got another letter asking for pretty much the same thing, again with pretty much the same result. Somehow the computer just didn't process things correctly. That last letter at age fourteen was pretty disturbing though. Please, never ask Santa to, how did you put it? 'Just take me out,' I think you said. Surely you know I could never do anything to end life!"

Oh god I had forgotten that. That was the year I got beaten so badly. I was just so thoroughly disillusioned I wrote that letter as a protest of some kind. I just wrote it out then threw it away. He was still talking.

"Anyway, I was so shocked by this I took up matters with The Powers That Be. Grand Master Himself even got involved. And it turns out there was an elegant solution. Seems the very night you were born an unwed lady in the next delivery room lost her baby daughter in a miscarriage. The Angels saw this was going to happen so to avoid the extra paperwork the child's Soul was never planted in her body. That way, when she didn't survive, her Soul didn't have to be retrieved. For all intents and purposes, she's still waiting to be born, and she will be I've been assured. So anyway, we just went back then and put you in the body, and Grand Master fixed whatever was wrong so you could be born. You should feel very special, young lady! Grand Master doesn't like to fiddle with time in this plane.

"There are limits to what the human experience can take however, so for the last four years the 'Charley' part of you has been asleep and hasn't been an active part of your personality. Now that you're four again, you'll be able to integrate everything okay. So we've dropped you into the past and you'll live those same years all over. Except hopefully it will be very different now. I think it's s a good solution, since you wrote that first letter when you were four. It's up to you to make it better!"

"But, what happened to Charley?" I asked, not really caring but curious.

"Well, he simply ceased to exist tonight, twenty years in the future. It was pretty easy, in your original timeline the computer mailed a letter of resignation to Cuddly Cathy yesterday, and over the next few days a few isolated ATM withdrawals will occur across the country as if he's traveling. He had no friends so that's not a problem, and Norm will be glad tomorrow when he comes to fix the sink and finds an empty apartment. You paid the rent up for six months so he'll be able to double rent. That will appeal to his greed. Charley's stuff is sitting outside several charities, and his laptop is now sitting on the desk of the womens shelter where it will replace the one that just wore out. I made sure there's a big red bow on it. The only other detail is your income taxes. The computer will submit them and that will be that. By the time you would have retired Social Security will have long forgotten Charley. Right now there's a four year old boy in the next city named Charley, but it's been assured to me that you'll never cross paths with him. As for you, Caitlin, you had a normal childbirth four years ago and will no doubt grow up to be as wonderful a girl as you are now. You're sure cute enough!"

I tried to sit up but somehow the tucking in Santa had done prevented me from moving. I got a glimpse of the pink flannel nightgown I was wearing, but that was the extent of it.

"Now little girl, I need to finish up here and get along. I need some milk to drench my parched throat. I think that's the longest conversation I've had in fifty years. About all I usually ever say is HoHoHo!." With that he bent over and kissed me on the cheek. He smelled a bit like cinnamon and chocolate chip cookies. I could see some crumbs in his beard.

"By the way, Caitlin. You'll go to sleep here in a minute, and when you wake, your memory of Charley will fade by the end of the day. Maybe as you grow up you'll see something in the news and feel a little déja vu but that's about it. You know Charley was a fake anyway, a role played by an actor. Well that role is finished. Now you can put your efforts into better things, like playing house. Good night, little one, and Merry Christmas." I saw him step back and touch his nose as he muttered "HoHoHo...." and he dissolved into mist. As he dissolved I discovered I just couldn't hold my eyes open a second longer.

...

I woke again to the sounds of dishes clattering. I looked and saw the bedroom door was open now, and a lady was in a kitchen apparently preparing a big meal. Sunlight streamed through the windows, though the windows were frosty around the edges. The lady turned and walked my way. Oh my gosh! It was her! The lady from the next apartment, the single one who was so sad looking all the time, scraping to get by and just looking defeated all the time. Just like me. Only she looked much younger now, and this was a house, not that terrible apartment. She just seemed to glow in her happiness. I sat up and when I looked at my surroundings the shock of it all was just too much. I passed out.

"Hey, wake up, Christmas Girl!!" You're gonna have a big day today! First, let's go see what Santa's brought you, then you can get dressed in your new green velvet dress and get pretty. Grandma's coming for dinner and you're going to get to meet her for the very first time!" She rushed into the room and lifted me up and squeezed me to her breast like a little doll. Wow, I guess I'm pretty little huh? Mmmmm this feels sooo good and she makes me feel so safe!

She put me down. My gosh she's so tall! We walked hand in hand to the living room where a bargain basement artificial Christmas tree stood, covered in homemade decorations, and strung with popcorn. A single string of lights was threaded carefully through the branches, disguising the fact that it was only about a third long enough for the job intended. The living room was furnished rather sparsely in old furniture and it was clearly the habitat of someone on a very challenging income, but it felt more like home than anywhere I had ever been. Despite the used furniture and the cheap window coverings, everything was spotless and very neat. Under the tree were a few presents, and two stockings hung on the wall by the door. I recognized the one that read Caitlin in child's letters. I remembered laboriously forming those letters a few weeks ago. My excitement was growing, and it was so much fun being with Mommie. She's always so happy! I wanted to hurry and open my gifts so I could see her open the one I got her. Mrs. Wilson next door had taken me to a really fancy store last week and helped me pick it out. I had spent my whole savings of two dollars and fifty four cents to buy her a new wool coat. My savings weren't quite enough but Mrs. Wilson had paid the tax on it, and the store giftwrapped it for free. That was real nice of them. Wait a minute. There's something wrong with that. Two dollars isn't enough for.... I shook my head to clear it but only succeeded in getting hair in my face.

"Hey, are you playing like a wet dog?" Mommie asked, laughing. "We can put your hair up later. come on over here and see."

I sat down and crossed my legs in front of the tree and studied the packages. Almost all of them were for me, I saw the name Caitlin on the tags. Mommie came in and sat next to me on the floor handing me a spillproof cup with hot chocolate inside. I turned to her and just couldn't help myself. I leaned over and gave her a bear hug.

"You're the bestest Mommie in the whole world! I'm so glad you picked me to be yours!"

Mommie laughed as if what I said didn't make sense. "Silly girl," she squeezed. "I didn't pick you! God knew we were made for each other and He gave you to me! And I'm Soooooo glad He did!" We both giggled as we separated. She began scrounging through the presents looking for one. Finally she picked up a box wrapped in red and green foil paper with a big bow on top. The tag could be read from where I was sitting. It said "To Caitlin, with love from Santa" Mommie handed it to me and said, "Well! Let's see what Santa brought!"

I started to carefully remove the ribbon, but Mommie was having none of that. "Go ON GIRL," she cried excitedly. "Just rip it open!" Taking her cue I started doing just that. Under the paper was a plain white box, like the ones used by department stores. I removed the cover and separated the tissue paper. As I peeled the paper back my eyes involuntarily went wide in my excitement. Inside was a Cathy Cuddly, wearing a pretty pink party dress, lacy socks and white shoes. And a very small smudge on her face that looked very familiar and didn't look like it would clean off. Could it be? I turned her over and separated the folds in the back of the dress, and sure enough, there was an extra seam the factory hadn't put there. I quickly put the dress back as my smile threatened to tear my face.

Oh, Santa! I couldn't help holding her to my breast. "Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou Santa! This is the bestest Christmas EVER!" Looking to Mommie I announced, "Her name is Lucy, Mommie! Mommie, meet Lucy. Lucy, meet Mommie!" I had Lucy curtsy for Mommie. "She's really special!"

"Oh child, I was hoping you wouldn't notice. Santa told me he had to go on a budget this year and was giving a few kids reconditioned toys. At least he gave her a new dress. But I shouldn't have worried, you're always so easy to please. I know Santa really appreciates that! Now let's go into the kitchen and get some breakfast. I want you fed and all prettied up before you meet Grandma. Now that Grandpa is gone she really wants to meet you!"

"Okay Mommie. I really really want to meet her too!" Mommie turned toward the kitchen as I held Lucy to my breast and hugged her one more time.

I stood up but before following Mommie I held Lucy so I could look deep in her face. I was going to tell her how happy I was for both of us. There, in her deep green eyes, I saw Santa. He winked and I heard in my head, "Merry Christmas, Caitlin. I hope you bring as much joy to others as you have to me. Oh, and bye Charlie!" He put his finger to his nose and just winked out of Lucy's eyes again.

Suddenly the sun coming through the windows seemed so much brighter. I hurried to the table to see what Mommie had made. There were so many smells coming from the stove! She turned to me and grinned, "Okay my big Christmas girl! I made your favorite, Mickey Mouse pancakes with sugar sprinkles. Oh and here, let's drag your old high chair over so Lucy can sit too. I've made enough for all of us!" As the three of us sat and ate we all just giggled. Mommie and Lucy are so much fun!

The doorbell rang. Mommie got a surprised look on her face and before she could stop me I ran to the door and threw it open. There on the porch was a lady in a fur coat doing her best to hold more packages and gift bags than any one human being should be expected to be capable of. I stopped dead in my tracks. She was so pretty! "Are, are you a movie star," I asked shyly, shivering barefoot in my nightgown as I heard Mommie hurrying over.

"Oh Heavens NO! Oh you must be Caitlin! I'm your Grandma!" She abruptly dropped all the packages and held out her arms. Before I knew it she had wrapped them around me and hugging me tight, lifted me clear off the ground. The fur of her coat all but enveloped me. "Oh, I've waited SO LONG to meet you!" Mommie arrived about then and rushed up, joining in what was now a group hug. Even though it was still freezing on the porch I no longer felt cold. I saw that Mommie had tears in her eyes, and Grandma did too.

"Oh Mom, I'm so glad you came. You can't know how I've longed for this day!"

"Shush dear, you knew I would come as soon as certain obstacles were removed," Grandma replied gently. "C'mon, let's get these packages inside. I want to know all about what's been going on in your lives, and I really want to get to know my granddaughter! It is my solemn resolve to spoil her completely!"

"Oh Mom, don't you dare!" Mommie laughed as we all picked up various bags and packages and moved them from the porch to the tree. Mommie took Grandma's coat then Grandma sat on the couch. Mommie went to the kitchen to retrieve hot drinks for all of us. Of course, I ran to the kitchen to get Lucy, then ran back to Grandma, where I sat next to her and cuddled. I knew I didn't have to ask, and I knew she already loved me. I held Grandma on one side and Lucy on the other, and Mommie sat in her chair and picked up her knitting. I think they were talking about something to do with Grandpa, who had died. Grandma uses some big words. I'll have to ask Mommie later what "bastard" means... All of a sudden I got sleepy. As I lay my head on her lap my head just seemed to turn into cotton. I felt so warm, so soft and so loved...

"What was that?" Grandma asked Mommie quietly.

"What was what?" Mommie asked.

"Caitlin mumbled something in her sleep," Grandma returned.

"Oh. She said Thank you Santa, this is the Bestest Christmas Ever," Mommie giggled. "Well I guess the presents can wait a couple hours, I'll just put her back in her bed."

"Oh no you don't. She stays here in my lap and that's that! We'll just sit and visit and when she's ready we'll continue. Besides, this really is, how did she say it? The Bestest Chrismas Ever!"

Please don't forget to comment! Would be writers need your thoughts!!

Thank you, Carla Ann

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Comments

AW. . .

This is a warm, sunggily kind of story. I love it! A perfect Christmas story! Thanks so much for writing it.

Hugs,
Diane

Good thing I don't wear

Good thing I don't wear mascara. Or I'd have to repair it. Good story, made me tear up.

Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue

It truly is

Andrea Lena's picture

...a wonderful life! And when santa said,It's not often I weep for my children but I shed quite a few tears over you... I just about lost it. Thank you for this precious story.

A revisit to this wonderful tale brightened a very long day and lifted my spirits! Thank you!

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Cuuuuute! :-)

Carla I love it, it's awesome! I think you're trying to pay me back for some of that need for kleenexes ;-)

Christmas??

ALISON

You just can't get anymore Christmassy than that!!
Thank you for such a lovely story and a Happy New Year
to you.

ALISON

And your darling little

And your darling little story was one of the "Bestest Christmas stories Ever". Hugs, Jan

Sweet story

A very sweet story, with just enough restraint to keep it from turning saccharine.

Good work! And I particularly liked the reference to the. . . controlling entity as the Grand Master.

Just thinking about getting into the spirit...

It's only October, but I went to Wal-Mart, and they are putting up the Christmas Items. I heard a christmas carol someplace, and I started thinking about my favorite holidays. I saw your story, and it was a wonderful way to get me into the spirit even more! This is such a wonderful, happy story. Yes, I'm crying, but that's normal for me. This was a wonderful gift, and I hope you have another great story for this year!

Wren

Thanks, Wren!

Last year I pleaded with my muse for weeks to come up with a Christmas story idea. She steadfastly ignored me. Then one morning after Christmas she dropped this on me, pretty much complete. She must delight in doing things like that. I was happy though to see more than Charley benefitted in the end. There is an innocence in this tale that appeals to me.

Thank you again for taking the time to comment.

Hugs
Carla Ann

"sugar shock", indeed

but well worth reading. Once again, I'm indebted to the random story selector.

Dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

Yes it was the bestest christmas ever

I just found this on the random singles.What a warm ,well written and tissue using story.We have written secret letters to Santa like Charley and said the nightly prayer and I still do.It is heart warming to see the dream come true.Thank you.

devonmalc

bam

right between the eyes thats where all this wet stuff came from.
yeah thats the ticket cause I don't cry ever you here me these are not tears.
thanx
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