Selected Entries from Laura Lander's Journal
A Preview of the Mustard Seed Prequel
Can Leira help Larry become the person outside that she sees inside?
Author's Note: Instead of expanding these flashbacks cut out of MS: Faith Hope and Love into a prequel, I intend to start from scratch using this as an source material. The flashback information that did not involve Laura and Leira will be placed back into the rewritten first and second chapters of Mustard Seed Faith Hope and Love. This is not the Mustard Seed prequel: Small Packages
April 2,1996
The nice Sunday school teacher spoke to Leira Landers and Lawrence Landers and her class seated in a circle around her.
“Jesus was a master story teller. He told many stories to children and adults of his day. He loved to tell a particular kind of story called a parable. Who can tell me about a parable?”
Up shot Lawrence Landers’ hand first. “OK Larry, please tell me about a parable?”
“An earthly story with a heavenly meaning!”
“Very good. A parable is a kind of story that He told about things that people knew about on this earth that Jesus used to teach about things that they did not know about the Kingdom of Heaven.”
“We are going to hear first a story that Jesus told about a grain of a mustard seed. Jesus said,’ The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches.”
“Who can tell me how large a mustard seed is?” This time it was Leira who had her hand raised. “Leira, how big is a mustard seed?”
“It’s tiny! You need a magnifying glass to be able to see it.”
“That’s right and for answering right both you and Larry is going to receive these necklaces. They are special because this glass is a magnifying glass and inside you can see a mustard seed in them. She put necklaces on them. Both of you go around our circle and show your classmates about a mustard seed looks like and then you can return to your seats.” Leira and Lawrence did as they were told then return to their seats.
“A mustard seed is really tiny but when you plant it then it grows up into a great big tree. God’s Kingdom of Heaven is like that because from a tiny beginning something can grow to be really huge if one has faith to grow and grow”
After Sunday School was over, Leira and Lawrence showed their necklaces to their Mommy.
Mommy said, “That’s a cute necklace Leira, I love it. Larry, little boys do not wear necklaces. Let Mommy put it up for you and we’ll take care of it later.”
Mommy put Lawrence’s necklace up in a special compartment of her purse.
Leira said,” Mommy could you put my necklace up too?” Leira was being sweet about it but she felt that if she kept her necklace it would be a reminder to her sister Lori that Mommy had kept her from wearing hers. She couldn’t help what Mommy did but she could try to do better herself.
Mommy said, “You can wear your necklace Leira but if you really want me to put yours up then I will.”
Leira said, “I do Mommy” and she handed her necklace to Mommy, who put it together with Larry’s necklace in her purse. Leira smiled at Lori and they both realized that even without them being able to wear the necklaces that they would be part of their lives. Lori wanted to thank Leia but realized that telepathy would be a better way to speak.
“You two go change your clothes and then you can go play.”
Leira and Larry went to their rooms. The siblings changed into their matching play clothes that were their favorite things to wear to play together.
At one time before, Leira pulled out one of her dresses for her sister to try on as they had played dress up. Mommy had gotten all upset and was speaking nonsense that Lawrence was a boy and he had to wear boy outfits. However, when Leira would wear a shirt and slacks from Larry’s room, then Mommy thought it was just cute. They had learned to avoid trouble so both of them had decided to dress as tomboys.
~’Thanks Leia for doing that. Weren’t our necklaces pretty?’~
~’Lori, One day Mommy will realize you are a girl and we’ll both be able to wear our necklaces.’~
~’Thanks Leia. I’m glad we can talk like this so mommy won’t hear. I love you, sis’~
~’I love you too Lori. I hope one day Mommy won’t dress you funny.’~
~’Me too, Leia! Lets go to the playroom!’~
When they got together in the playroom Leira told Larry, “Lori, Let’s play” And both sisters giggled together about Mommy and began playing.
April 3, 1998
Leira was a brilliant student and after getting taught about genetics in third grade biology, she had a brainstorm on how to get their mother’s attention so that something could be done for ‘Lori’ as she knew Laura then. She remembered as if it were only yesterday how Leira had enlisted Dr Lee’s help. It began with a telepathic conversation between them. They had learned that it was safer to speak as sisters that way.
~’Lori, we’ve got to do something to get Momma’s attention so that she will understand that you are a girl really.’~
~’I know Leia but what can we do? I appreciate everything that you have helped with, but nothing has worked.’~
~’Well, this time I want to bring her some evidence that she can’t dismiss as make believe. Dr Lee told us that we could tell her anything. Remember they told us in school that boys have different chromosomes than us, girls. If we were to get Dr Lee to find out what kind you have, then they got to be girls because you are a girl in spite of how you look down there.’~
~’That just might work. At least we could tell Dr Lee about how we know each other’s thoughts and that you first knew I was a girl because I have girl thoughts. Hopefully the paper that Momma will get from Dr Lee will make it so she takes us seriously and really helps me’~
~’I called and Dr Lee is expecting us so I’ll meet you there, Sis.’~
Laura remembered that Lori and Leia set out on their bicycles to Dr Lee’s office. Dr Lee had cleared her schedule for both of them because she really wanted to help and Leia had sounded so desperate on the phone. Soon after they had arrived both of them were led to Dr Lee’s office where Dr Lee was waiting for them.
“Dr Lee, My sibling here, which you know as Larry, is really a girl, who I know as Lori.” I’ve known since we were three years old that it was a fact.”
“How did you know, Leira?”
“Even though we are fraternal twins, we know each other’s thoughts. Lori’s thoughts are those of a girl. But we would like to get some other evidence besides my say so to get Momma to listen. We would like you to do genetic testing on both of us so we can prove that Lori has a girl’s chromosomes.”
“I believe you. Leira and I will try to help Lori any way that I can. We can start with the genetic testing but girls that is a long shot. If Lori is intersexed, which means having physical qualities of both genders, then she may have a girl’s DNA. However if Lori has Harry Benjamin Syndrome which is the physical analog to the psychological diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria then even though she is a girl her DNA may be that of a boy.”
“Besides the genetic testing, Lori would you see another Doctor friend of mine for some tests?”
“Sure Dr Lee and thank you for calling me Lori.”
“I’m glad to call you Lori when its just us for right now. When we get the results of all the testing, I will help you two explain things to your mother. I’m going to get the nurse to come in here and draw some blood from both of you for the genetic testing and I will see if my friend can see Lori for the testing today.”
Dr Lee did get the genetic testing done as well as having her Psychiatrist friend to test me. While Lori was being tested by the Psychiatrist, Leira was also being tested for telepathic ability in Dr Lee’s office. In the end Lori’s chromosomes came out XY like a boy’s but confirmed that except for the one chromosome that Leira and Lori were twins. The Psychiatrist confirmed a diagnosis of ‘Gender Dysphoria’ for Lori. Dr Lee set up a meeting with Momma and Daddy and Sis along with Dr Lee and her friend. Knowing that both girls were almost twins made our story of telepathy believable along with the testing that scored both girls high in telepathy.
Momma broke down and accepted Lori finally as her daughter and Daddy could not help but agree too. In the end they both just wanted what was right for their children. From that point on Lori became Laura which was the name that Lori would have received if Momma had known she was a girl from the beginning.
Laura asked her Momma, “Since you believe I’m a girl now can I stop doing all the things that boys do?”
Their Momma told her, “Sure, Laura, I won’t make you do any boy things ever again. Leira, I never realized what love you had for your sister. Leira, you acted like a boy too just because I made Laura act like a boy. Laura and Leira, Would you both like to learn what being a girl is about? ”
The girls answered in unison, “We do!”
“Well girls I have something for both of you then. Please meet me in Leira’s room, girls”
“Yes, Momma.”
Their Mother had decided to be practical when Leira forsook all things feminine just so Laura wouldn’t feel left out. She quit buying and putting in Leira’s room anything feminine. However, she always wanted to be ready just incase Leira changed her mind. Over the years she secretly would buy 2 complete feminine outfits for Leira each time she needed larger clothes, just in case she changed her mind about sharing the boy’s life with Laura. She went to her room and pulled out the outfits to take back to her girls so they could begin embracing being girls immediately.
“Girls, I have an outfit for both of you to put on for tomorrow when I get to take you both shopping. After you take your baths, you each can put on a nightgown to sleep in tonight.”
“Thank you Momma” they chorused already looking forward to tomorrow and all the days ahead for the new life they both had been given.
Both sisters no longer had to be Tom boys and both of them started to wear dresses much to the delight of Momma, who not only had Leira to teach about being feminine, but Laura as well.
April 4, 2000
::giggle:: Those are some interesting drugs they are giving us Everything looks so clear and sharp and colored like in a cartoon I recognize this spot. It's all of us about to go to the Henry County Georgia courthouse down in for one of the most wonderful days of my life. Momma and Dr Robin started things out 5 weeks ago when we went to this nice lawyer lady that Dr Robin knew . The Lawyers name was Mrs. Price and she told me how good a little girl that I was with me all dressed up in my Sunday best dress knee high socks and Mary Janes.
Mrs. Price told us not to worry because a Therapist named Dr Erika Johansen had just come by and conducted seminars on how best to treat transgendered people to honor their right to due process. She made believers of them all by pointing out to any who wanted to make a killing at the expense of the oppressed that in other jurisdictions that tactic was beginning to smell. Even worse it had been shown that those who screamed the loudest against transgender petitioners had a transgender skeleton in their own closet. In most cases that was the one two punch to turn out an incumbent onto the street. And it never was good to be legally overruled and the appellate courts had been setting aside bigoted decisions left and right.
Momma elected to what the lawyer said was ' all the marbles' A name change with name certificate and a judges order sealing her original birth certificate and issuing a new one in the new name and gender when GRS was certified by a Dr. But most of all for now an order to change immediately all gender references other than the birth certificate to the required gender. Mrs. Price drew up a petition for the court supported by statements giving testimony to her status. The actual petition had to be advertised for 4 weeks before a court date would be set in the legal newspaper of the county which happened to be the one that no one read.
That flew by great and we came to this special day when we had to go to court, Momma and Daddy and Leira and Dr Robin all took me to the court house. My Psychiatrist Dr Reed also came to sit with us meeting us there. It was a great big huge building with steeples going to the sky like a church. The courtroom was a huge place but I felt good because I was surrounded by my friends. I was a bit relieved when I discovered that since my lawyer answered for us when our case was called that we were asked to go over to a smaller courtroom to take care of our case. The original judge had looked old and gruff but this one looked young and sympathetic.
Finally our case was called in the little courtroom . Mrs. Price got up with me and my parents, Dr Robin and Dr Reed and My sister Leira were all up close ready to be called if their testimony was needed. Mrs. Price asked me why I wanted my name changed and I told the judge that I had always been a little girl on the inside but now I wanted to be one on the inside and the outside and I was doing what my Doctors told me to do and they said that It would be OK to go ahead and get my name changed now since I had been living as a girl for 2 years now. I was only changing it to have a girls name and I would not use the name change to get out of paying something that I was supposed to pay.
The judge looked at all the papers and the testimony included and the judge ruled that I could have my name changed and my gender changed on documentation.
Mrs. Price worked some magic on the records clerk because we were able to get several certified copies of the judges orders so we could actually go get things changed today. I was able to get my Georgia picture ID with my new name and gender on it and was proud of that. We took that to the Social security office and got things changed there. The rest of it had to waif for another day so we all gathered at the Longhorn to get a steak and the meal tasted so sweet because I finally was me on paper the way I always should have been.
April 5, 2002
Dr Robin, Laura, Leira and their Mother were gathered in Dr Robin’s office. It was shortly after the twins eleventh birthday. Even though Leira was not really needed for this meeting she was along anyway to ease things for Laura. Had they been separated, Laura would have tired herself out sending a telepathic description to Leira about what was going on. This way Leira could witness things first hand and Laura could save her energy for what was to come.
“Hi Dr Robin” said Laura and Leira together as they both hugged her.
“Hi girls! I’m so glad to see you two again and thank you for that nice greeting. Hi Gwen! How are you doing? You have two very beautiful daughters, here!”
The girls mother, Gwen Landers, gave Dr Robin a hug as well, “I’m doing fine, Dr Robin. The girls are a blessing and I am so glad they are my daughters.”
“How is Howard?”
“He’s doing well and looking forward for a full report from me about this and he has given his blessing to proceed should you be able to do so.”
“Proceed with what?” asked Leira innocently.
“We have something that we’d like to do to help your sister if she is ready medically for it. That’s what we are here to determine. Laura will have some tests given both by me and other of my colleagues. This is very special so we need to be absolutely sure before we go ahead with it.”
“Dr Robin could you explain? I’m ready to listen.” Said Laura meekly.
“Sure Laura. You see since you were born special you’ve got some things ahead that your body will do unless we find out that we will be able to stop them. They are the things that happen to boys about this time in their lives. Their voice cracks and becomes deeper. They begin to grow hair for a beard on their faces.
Since you are a girl we don’t want you to have to go thru that since it wouldn’t be nice for a pretty girl to have a deep voice or have hair on her face. “
“Is this what that therapist was talking to me about when I got my name changed, and changed schools and started wearing dresses? She said that since I was born with a girl’s brain and a boys body that I would have a transition since we were all sure that I’m really a girl.”
“Yes Laura, this is part of the Transition process. You’ve already started on it by getting your name changed legally to a girls name and living life as a girl. The next part is called Hormone replacement therapy. Laura do you know what a hormone is?”
“Yes Dr Robin. I learned in school that hormones are chemicals that our bodies produce so that things go right in our bodies. “
“That’s right, Laura. In boys to help grow them up into men a hormone called Testosterone is produced. In girls to help them grow up into women a hormone called Estrogen is produced. What we want to do for you are to stop the testosterone from changing you to grow into a man and instead provide you with estrogen that will start changing you to grow into a woman. The process takes a long time and you’ll be into your late teens before it is completed.”
“I think I understand now. You are going to test me so you’ll know if it is alright to start giving me something to stop the testosterone and also to give me estrogen at the right time so I will grow up to be a woman like I’m supposed to do.”
“That’s right, Laura, Once these other doctors agree with me that it’s the right thing to do following these tests then we can start giving you the right things so you will grow up to be a beautiful woman.”
“Thank you Dr Robin for taking such good care of me.” Laura said giving Dr Robin another hug.
~’Hey Leia want to take a bet now on who gets her boobs first?’~
~’Very Cute Lori. I won’t bet but I’m happy for you Sis. You’ve gone thru a lot and its great that this is one thing that you’ll get to experience like the rest of us, girls I love you, Sis’~
~’Thanks Sis, I love you too’~
Later that day the testing was completed and Laura began another part of her journey into womanhood.
April 6, 2005
At 15 for both of them, Laura was about to pass another milestone in her transition camouflaged in teenaged vanity. Their parents had wanted to reward both of them for advancing in their school work so much that they both had skipped another grade. Leira and Laura had both elected to use their money to attend a special summer camp so the real extent of Laura’s surgery would not be known locally. Laura claimed to her friends to be getting a nose job but in reality she was going to erase the next to last vestige of her male heritage thru Facial Feminizing Surgery. When every thing healed she would be identical to her twin in every way.
“I feel for you Lori but when you are finished we will be so identical no one will be able to tell us apart. Think of all the fun we can have with pranks then.”
~’Leia! We could change places and coach each other on the fly with our telepathy’~
~’Yeah Lori! What a fun time we’ll have for our senior year in High School. Look out world here we come!’~
This was the only surgery that Laura would be permitted to get before she was 18. Dr Robin had gotten around some of the restrictions that the powers that be had for someone under age. Laura would have to wait till she was 18 for the last of her treatment.
That summer was an interesting one while they were parted. Laura came thru her surgery with flying colors and ended up looking identical to Leira in every way once all the bandages were off. While Leira was unable to be with Laura at the hospital for the surgery, Leira was able to join Laura afterward.
“Laura! How do you feel?” It was a rhetorical question since, with her empathic link to Laura, Leira already knew. However in this context it was expected for Leira to give Laura a chance to verbalize her feelings. It was always possible that even as long as they had been linked that Leira might misinterpret something.
“Leira, I feel fine. On the one hand there is some pain from the procedure but on the other I’m really ecstatic that I am one step closer to being outwardly who I truly am. Thank you so much for asking, Sis. How are you, Sis?”
“I’m very glad to see you Laura. I missed you a lot while we were parted. What do you think of this camp?”
“It’s a really eye opening experience. Leira. Mommy and Daddy made a very good choice. Even though it isn’t what we would have been doing ordinarily this summer, In the end it may be a lot more worthwhile besides being just as much fun as what we would have been doing.”
“Well, Laura why don’t you lead me to our cabin so I can get settled?”
“Sure Sis! I’ll lead the way.”
The two sisters spent most of the summer at a special summer camp while Laura healed up. The camp was composed of lots of girls who for one reason or another had medical or appearance problems that might not do well in a regular summer camp.
“Seeing so many girls who are different here helps me realize that I’m not alone.” Said Laura.
“And I’ve learned that there is more to being unique than looks. I am humbled about how everyone has accepted me as just one of the girls when they found out about our telepathy. I have a good feeling about belonging here.” Said Leira
There were also lots of their friends who were more or less ‘normal’ like Leira. However once the word got out that the twins were telepathic, Leira realized that even if her uniqueness was not apparent to see that she was unique none the less just like all of them.
Everyone in our cabin decide that we girls had to pull such a good prank that it would be remembered by everyone in this summer’s camp and perhaps be added to the best in camp history.
It was decided that what we would do is to replace the camp flag of our affiliated boy’s camp with something that we created. Our first mission was to find the perfect thing to make the replacement flag. We decided to snatch a pair of large cheep slacks from the Camp Leader’s cabin. Leira acted as lookout and she telepathically directed Laura until she had successfully taken the camp leader’s slacks.
Next the rest of the girls in the cabin used their artistic talents on the slacks to make them very feminine and decorated. The one thing that the girls made sure would be seen for miles was lettering that read “Girls Rule”
The girls managed to create all of the elements of a couple of camp boys outfits.
Next the girls did their best to transform Leira and Laura into a couple of camp boys so they could infiltrate the boys camp. When they sent the ersatz boys out on their mission, they did their best to cover for them pretending that both of them were sick and covered up in their bunks.
Leira’s cover name was Lee and Laura’s cover name was Larry. They both hoped that they would not have to fake anyone out directly but they were ready to do it if they needed to do it. They made it without incident across the lake and thru the woods into the boy’s camp.
~‘Leia, the coast is clear! Lets go!’~ The pair made it all the way to the center of the camp and the flag pole. Leira took out the fake flag and was on watch while Laura took the real flag down by lowering it to the bottom of the flag pole.
‘~Go ahead Lori you can raise our flag now’~ Laura managed to raise their fake flag without being detected. For once they decided that discretion was the better part of valor and hightailed it out of there. With the whole camp asleep, there wasn’t a clue till the morning when the word spread around the girl’s camp and pictures were taken of the “Girls Rule” flag above the boy’s camp flagpole.
They were all sad parting from each other and vowed to keep in touch via email.
Even though both girls were homesick they would treasure their time together at camp.
April 7, 2006
Mark’s joining the family had caused a number of changes ever since the twins had met him and Leira had immediately fallen in love with him. Laura was very mature in giving her sister the space and time that she needed to develop her relationship with Mark.
It had all started when Leira at 16 had decided that she wanted to take a class at Georgia Tech on campus as a high school student prior to her graduation. Laura on the other hand decided that she wanted to get as much from the social scene at High School so she decided that the class would wait. Not to be outdone by her sister, Laura was taking the class online.
The class ended up being EE1010 which was an introduction to computer programming. In the distant past the class was run on the mainframe computer with punch cards teaching FORTRAN. These days the introductory course was taught using Pascal and PC’s. It was there that Leira met Mark for the first time.
Mark had put off taking any programming in his freshman year since he was undecided what major that he was going to take and was only taking core courses. By the spring semester of his sophomore year he had decided on aerospace engineering and he needed the course
Mark was struck immediately by Leira’s beauty and by her intelligence. This was a good occurrence since Leira had fallen in love at her first sight of Mark. Laura wanted to find out what all the fuss was about so she suggested to Leira that they switch places to see just how observant that Mark really was. Laura was guided by Leira’s telepathic coaching. All went well until Mark suggested that the girl he thought was Leira go with him to study at the library.
As Mark put his arm around the ersatz Leira and carried her books for her as they walked up the hill from the EE building to the library. Mark found a secluded spot in the library and pulled out the fake Leira’s chair as they both were seated.
Mark leaned in close as though he were about to kiss her and instead said, “Laura you are a very cute girl but I only have feelings for your sister Leira. Could you pass that on to her for me?” both Laura and Leira were struck dumbfound for a moment but Leira responded to her telepathically.
~’Lori, ask him who is Laura, tell him that he’s mistaken and that you have always been Leira and ask him that if he has real feelings for me to kiss you.’~
~’As you wish sis’~ “Mark, who is Laura? I really am Leira and if you have feelings for me, then kiss me!”
Mark responded, “Laura, you are very well coached and identical to your sister in almost every way. But your aura is very different from Leira’s and she’s the one that I love. This was a cute stunt but would you tell your sister that the study date is for her and for her to meet me here in the library as soon as she can. “
Leira after hearing Mark responded, ~’Tell him that I love him too and I will be right there , Sis We’re busted so you can own up to it now.’~ ~’ Hurry Sis because Mark is a keeper for sure’~
“Mark Leira says that she loves you too and she’ll be here as soon as she can.”
“I’m glad to meet you, Laura. I don’t know too much about you except when I looked for Leira’s picture in the junior annual, I saw yours right beside her. How did you manage such detailed coaching from her without me hearing anything?”
“Well, Mark besides being identical twins, we are also telepathic. You are the first one to bust us when we traded places. It must be pretty cool to be able to see auras”
“It was confusing for me as a kid when I realized that I saw more than anyone else. Over time I’ve been able to make some sense of the auras that I see. That is until you came along. Leira’s I can read like a book but yours is still an enigma to me.”
“Well a girl has to have her secrets so I will hold onto the few about me that you haven’t deduced yet. I’m glad that you have taken an interest in my sister. From what she’s shared with me you two are good together. I hope to see more of you around when I’m me. By the way, I’m taking the same class you two are online. That’s why we were able to pull it off since even with telepathy it’s difficult to explain something like programming to a novice.”
“That will simply things if I wont run into you both together ordinarily on campus. Why didn’t you opt to take the class early on campus and get a taste of college life like your sister?”
“Senior year only comes around once so I wanted to get in on all of it that I could.”
~’I’m parked at the Student Center Lot. Would you like to meet me half way?’~
~’Sure Sis!’~ “Leira is really here on campus now. I’m going to go swap out with her and go home. She’ll be up here shortly to meet you.”
“Why not wait and switch here?”
“And waste chances to pull pranks here by revealing that were identical? I don’t think so. Even though you busted us with reading auras I doubt that any one else could”
“Have it your way, Laura. It was nice to meet you! Please tell Leira I can’t wait to see her.”
“You already did, Mark I was broadcasting everything that I experienced to Leira. Bye Mark!”
The twins met and swapped ID cards and car keys and soon the real Leira met up with Mark in the Library.
“Hi Leira! Your sister is quite nice even though I can’t figure out her aura.”
“Hi Mark, now can I get my kiss?”
“Sure Mademoiselle and I even give seconds.” The two embraced for their first kiss.
As Mark became more and more central to Leira’s life, Laura let her sister slip away from her for some extent. As Leira turned to Mark more and more, Leira shared more with her mother and Penny and Judy from school. As the telepathic link was used less and less it took more and more effort to open it when they used it.
.Gradually, the telepathic link between the sisters faded to the point where the words were lost and became empathic. The only way that they explained the loss is that their telepathy was a gift given out of necessity and that they no longer needed to speak in secrecy.
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