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Chapter 13- Aftermath By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: After Kelly has saved her best friend and soul sister from the kidnapper Pastor Linden, she must face her hatred and overcome it or live with bitterness as her heart grows cold and bitter. |
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I woke up on a couch in the pastor's study, I saw him still unconscious and the bodies of the guards bloodied from my attack. I tried to get up, but I got dizzy and lay back down. Then I saw my still bloodied hands and I lost it.
"NO!! NO!! WHY?! OH WHY?!"
Then Mister Woods came and hugged me, "Why what Kelly?" ['DEAR LORD! Kelly needs your help! My Godchild is suffering, and I am helpless to do anything!! What can I do other than call Pastor Pat?']
"Why did they hurt Julie Poppa?[sniff,sniff] Why hurt her when they wanted me?" I wailed as I soaked his shirt with my tears.['I am a failure, LORD! I am broken.']
He stroked my head, "I don't now Kelly, [sniff, sniff] I don't know. [sniff, sniff] But I do know this." [' Why is she calling me Poppa?']
I looked up at him with pleading eyes, "What's that, Poppa?" ['Did I actually do something, good?']
He cupped my chin in his hand, "You saved Julie from being hurt anymore." ['Why Kelly!! LORD, Why must she sacrifice herself? I was ready to rescue my daughter, but Kelly jumped in and was a dynamo!! Now she is in distress!! I feel so helpless!! Please LORD, help my Godchild because I do not know what to do to comfort her!']
"But they hurt her![sniff,sniff] Oh! How I HATE them!! [sniff,sniff] I want them to DIE!" I exclaimed as I beat on his chest. He simply grunted and let me pummel his strong chest in my rage and fury. I felt that I should have been in her place. They hurt her because of me, simply because I was me, refusing to conform to their rigid rules.
Then Mrs. Woods hugged me as Mister Woods began crying silently, "Kelly, you must release that hate or become bitter," she admonished me as she wiped away my tears. ['Kelly has been grievously hurt by the ordeal. LORD! How can I comfort my distressed Godchild. I am afraid that she may suicide in her despair.']
"But how? My heart is full of hate!! I am not worthy of love anymore!" I wailed as I held up my bloodied hands. "How can anyone love me NOW!!" I wailed as I brandished my hands in a futile attempt to get rid of the stain on my heart.
Then Momma hugged me as I beat upon her chest, "I LOVE YOU KELLY!! [sniff, sniff]NEVER FORGET THAT!!" she declared as she wept for me. ['My child! My child! Don't be crying! The LORD will heal you!!']
I looked up at her, "Oh, Momma! I am broken!! What good am I?! Why am I still living? Why am I not dead as they are?' ['Please LORD!! Take e home!!']
Then she cupped my chin in her hand, "Kelly, remember this, My child! My child! Don't be crying! The LORD will heal you!!" ['LORD. Please tell me!! Why must my child suffer so for helping her friend Julie?']
Then I saw only blackness, "LORD! I HOPE SO!! But I have no hope," I sighed as I sank into black despair. All that I saw was a bleak world void of color, filled with the pain and anguish of the hopeless.
Then Momma handed me to Johnny, "Oh Kelly! You saved my sister Julie when I couldn't!! I am here for you lil' sister!! I will never let you go!!" [' She has suffered from loving me, now she suffers from loving Julie. Is Kelly doomed to suffer from loving others? I fell in love with her years ago when she was Tinkerbell for Halloween. Since then, I have seen her confront and overcome obstacles in her way. NOW she has met something beyond her ability to cope. LORD! Please, help my beloved! For I am helpless to help her, myself.']
Then a light broke through has his love pierced my despair, "Thanks Johnny! I did it for both of you and would again, no matter the cost to me. Even if it means suffering as I am now, I would gladly pay the price," I sighed in resignation of having no hope. ['LORD! Even though I have no HOPE, I ask YOU to help me to get through this.']
He hugged me, then took my hand, "I know, my sister, but now you need to rest and recover your spirit. Come and see Julie, she wants to see you," ['Even now, I can feel her anguish over the rape. LORD, give me the WISDOM to help her,to help them both.']
Johnny carried me over to where Julie lay, her uniform in tatters, hose ripped, but covered with a white sheet that preserved her modesty. Johnny let me down by the sofa where she was resting fitfully. I could tell that she as reliving her rape from the body language and silent screams that were echoed in Johnny's tears. I could tell that he was feeling her pain, even now and knew not how to deal with it.
So, I placed my hand on her shoulder, and shook her, "Julie, wake up."
She looked at me and smiled as tears unashamedly ran down her face, "Kelly, thanks for rescuing me," she said as she kissed me on the cheek. ['But even now, I relive that nightmare.']
"But Julie, you were raped because of me. Look at my hands, see what I did to them?"
She let her tears cleanse my hands, "You did what you could for me." [' She did it for me and now she suffers.']
"I wish that I could have done more, or taken your place," I sighed. ['I wish that it had been me, not her.']
"No, Kelly. It was me. And some good came out of this, too."
"You mean Mark?"
"Yes. he was a balm upon me during my ordeal."
"But one you endured because of me." ['Maybe rape would be better than this despair.']
Julie opened the sheet and Johnny laid me by her and she snuggled up to me and held me as I dried her tears, "Kelly, you stopped them from hurting me, that's enough! In fact, it's MORE than enough," she said with conviction as her eyes moistened with tears of love. ['My friend is paying too high of a price for me.']
"But Julie! You simply don't understand my pain! I killed them, I am a MURDERER!! I deserve DEATH!!" I wailed out my torment of black despair as I held out my bloodied hands and saw where I had left blood on her cheeks, I saw no hope for myself and prison as my only reward for my sin.
I had been taught that murderers should be in prison to keep the public safe from harm. But because of my black belts in martial arts, the use of deadly force against others meant jail time. I was afraid, afraid that in prison, that I would be constantly raped due to my small size. and feminine body.
Then the Constable placed his hand on my shoulder, "No Kelly, they live, you did not kill them, he smiled. ['Seeing her in action was a thing of beauty, and terror. I couldn't let Stu's only child go to jail, not even mine.']
I look at him with hope in my eyes, "Oh?? happened, then?"
"Kelly, I stunned you before you could. The blood on your hands comes from their bloodied noses." ['She has committed no crime but that of helping her friend if such is a crime. I will do what I can to shield her from harm."]
Then I looked up at him, as Johnny gently covered me and Julie up with another blanket. Once again my heart saw the LIGHT of HOPE. "You mean that they will live?"
"Yes, but for their reward for causing such pain and anguish, none of them will ever father children from what you did to them," he chuckled. ['Kelly has given them a most apt punishment. When they go to prison, their stay will be a living hell as they cope with the effects of the attack.']
Then I grasped what he said and smirked, "They deserved it. No I don't feel so bad, but I still need to rest," I said as I lay by Julie who raised the sheet. ['I am not a killer. I did not kill in my anger thanks to him. Thank you LORD for keeping me from committing such a crime. I know that I would have killed if not I had not have been stopped by Poppa Woods friend Constable Sebastian.']
As I went to sleep, Pastor Patrick came in, he spoke with the others about what happened, then he came over to us, "Julie, is there anything that I or the Church can do for you?" He asked with tears in his eyes. ['That bastard Linden will pay for this abomination of justice if I can do anything at all to help! One thing that I CAN do is take away his church since I am the Head of the Tri-County Church Council.']
Julie shook her head, "No sir, Momma and Daddy are taking me to the hospital to make sure that I am OK, I need to know if they got me pregnant or gave me some S.T.D. when they assaulted me, but Kelly needs you," she said as she hugged me. ['Buck up Kelly, Pastor Patrick is here for you my sister.']
I held her hands in mine, "I know that my sister, but I also need to make sure about YOU. If you are pregnant by them, we, I will be there for you. I will give up being a girl and marry you." ['I must be strong for my sister, but how can I LORD? I truly want to be a girl, but I will sacrifice for my sister.']
"Kelly, you do not need to give up our dream of being a girl, Mark is there for me."
Then, I looked around, "Where is he, then?"
Constable Sebastian smiled, "Since he was a part of the gang, Mark is at the station giving a statement. After that, he'll be free to go."
While Constable Sebastian was with us, Daddy's friend Police Chief was with Mark in a Police S.W.A.T. van, taking his statement.This van was used as a mobile head quarters for the Tri-County Special Weapons And Tactics team led by the Constable's son, but retired Police Chief Harold Oscar Branch because of his experience, conducted all interview sessions.
After retirement, he found that he was restless, and used his connections to become a private investigator, but his son, Augustus found out about it, and told Constable Sebastian. When he learned about his best friends restlessness, he told his son who was looking for an experienced interviewer. He hired the chief when he found out, but in order to protect his retirement, was brought in as a volunteer.
Hob; as retired Police Chief Harold Oscar Branch is known as helps to organise the teams into a more effective network, combining with the Tri-County Police which patrols the cities while the Tri-County Constabulary patrols the towns and farms. By this action, Hob was able to make all of the S.W.A.T. teams better by having the members train the others, combining their different skills until they were all competent in multiple skills.
Hob was also able to recruit veterans with special skills to train the teams in their skills, making the S.W.A.T. teams a very valuable commodity that allowed for the members to enjoy advantages when recruited to other law enforcement forces, the military, or civilian life. In fact, Hob and his other volunteers enjoy discounts from area businesses in honor of their dedication to duty
Then she hugged him, "Thanks, I guess that I might need to talk about what happened to me if that's alright, that is. I've heard that sharing a burden halves it ever since you have been my Pastor. I hope that it's true. And if I am pregnant, I will accept your proposal Kelly. But I hope I am not." ['Kelly has given up way too much already. Losing her daddy, then her masculinity that led to her becoming a girl. No, I loved Kelly when she was a bot, and would have married him, but now I have found Mark.']
Wiping her tears, Pastor Patrick smiled as he saw our deep love for each other. "Yes, that's alright. Now I need to see about Kelly." [LORD! Help me to help these poor children, Their love is a Testimony of Your Grace.']
"OK."
Then he laid his hands on me, "LORD. Kelly has been sorely hurt in her spirit by what happened. She has found bitterness and hatred now. Please help the wounded child to conquer the bitterness and hatred so that her soul is not darkened. I ask YOU to give her peace so that she may say that it is well with her soul. In YOUR mighty NAME, AMEN!" ['There, I have done all that I can do for Kelly. The rest is up to YOU my LORD.']
Hearing his prayer, I awakened from my nap, "Thank you Pastor Patrick. [yawn] I know that things will be better for me now. [yawn] If y'all don't mind, [yawn] I need to take a nap." ['Is this YOU LORD helping me? All that I know is that I am at PEACE now and that is enough for now.']
Then Julie fluffed up my pillow and kissed me, "Me too Kelly, me too." ['This is the first time that we have taking a nap together without supervision.']
Nobody objected and they came over to give us both a kiss and hug good night. Julie and I giggled as Pastor Patrick's beard tickled us. They left us there, curled up together as we snuggled down to sleep. Even though I could have, I did not arouse at the thought of sex with Julie, I saw her as my sister, NOT my lover. Then I had a dream.
I awakened in a grassy meadow with a babbling brook flowing down from a majestic mountain whose sides were clothed in trees up to the immense ice cap adorning its peak. There were eagles aloft upon air currents and across the meadow was a herd of deer grazing on the fruit of the nearby tree adorned with a cornucopia of fruit, the limbs were low hanging so that even the fawns could eat the fruit right off of the tree..
I went forward and a majestic stag with golden horns came to me unafraid. His coat glistened golden in the light and his eyes looked at me with an intelligence and warmth
of an ancient soul.
"Hello, Sir. I mean no harm to you, or you family."
"I know, Kelly. You are well known for your love for the forest."
"How do you know?"
"I am Bambi, Lord of all deer. I have seen you with your father, and with your godfather when you stayed in the cabin in the woods."
I smiled, But Bambi is a deer from a Walt Disney movie."
He looked at me with gentle laughter in his eyes, "True, Bambi is my name. It is man that has turned it into something else entirely, unfortunately."
"Oh, you mean certain women calling themselves Bambi," I replied, ashamed of that misuse.
"Kelly, you and your family have NEVER been a part of those that misuse my name. To you, Bambi is a youmg deer, not a woman selling sex," he lovingly admonished me.
"OK, Bambi, Why am I talking to you?"
"Your friend Julie was hurt, and I am the closest here to that sad reality. Do you prefer this Bambi, or the other one?"
"Oh, I prefer you, Bambi! If a woman choose to sell sex, that is her choice. Julie did not have a choice."
I felt a weight lifting from me and a refreshing aroma filled the air, "Be at Peace, Kelly, by choosing as you have chosen, you will not dwell upon my name. When you think of Bambi, you will think of me."
I hugged him, "Thank you Bambi."
He and his herd walked into the forest where I saw a bear wearing denim jeans ans a brown hat greet Bambi, "Are you Smokey The Bear?"
The bear chuckled, "Yes, I am. I am Bambi's companion in protecting the forests and woods."
"What's the difference?"
"Bambi protects the animals, I protect the plants."
"But BOTH of you are fictional characters."
"Yes, but the LORD used godly men to bring our message to man."
Bambi spoke, "But man must hear the message."
Then they went deeper into the forest, and I saw Daddy sitting on a rock, with his arms open wide, "Welcome back Kelly, you have been sorely hurt! Be at Peace my child, and rest from your weary load and find refreshment " he grinned.
I jumped into his arms and he held me safe and secure as I snuggled up to him and kissed and hugged him, "Thank you daddy, I love you so much." I felt safe and secure in his arms and felt my darkness fade away.
He looked into my sad and weary eyes as I released my despair and anger from my heart, "Yes my child, rest from your weary load and heavy burden. You have been through the valley of despair and bitterness. Now it is time to release that anger and hatred so that you may be whole again my child."
"But how daddy? Right now I feel safe and secure, but I still feel the burden of hatred and anger deep within me that even now I can't get rid of. Can you help me get rid of them, or do I go to Jesus," I sighed as I wondered with a smattering of hope what could be done to help me.
Then he motioned to a group of angels carrying a variety of musical instruments, "Listen to the song and learn."
"What song, Daddy?"
Then I heard angels sing the song "GIVE THEM ALL TO JESUS." As I listened, my heart broke as the pain of the anger, bitterness and hatred was lifted and replaced with the JOY OF THE LORD. When the song was over, I looked up as an angel approached us. If mythical Helen of Troy was so beautiful that she launched a thousand ships, HERE was the face that would easily win her heart.
He was both tall and strong, with a ready smile and a twinkle in his eyes, "Hello there, which angel are you?" I asked as I held out my hand.
He gently shook my hand, engulfing it in his big, meaty palm, "I am the Archangel Gabriel, Young Warrior. I have come to help you in your need," he warmly smiled as I saw his wings fold down upon his shoulders.
I looked from him to my daddy in confusion as my daddy chuckled, "Young warrior? I am not any sort of warrior. Daddy here was a Police Officer on Earth, not me. Now why do you call me Young Warrior?"
Then my daddy hugged me, "Because you have fought a Great Battle in your young Life and won a Victory that very few could ever hope to accomplish in their lives, Kelly. I am very proud of you, my child."
"But Gabriel and Daddy, I don't feel victorious at all. I feel all yucky and gross inside as if I am full of something rotten and not worthy of even being here. if that makes sense to you," I sighed and looked down, ashamed to admit to my admission of failure and defeat.
Then he took hold of my chin and turned my face towards him, "Kelly, Young Warrior, by taking on those who kidnapped Julie and defeating them, THAT was your victory, and then by giving up the anger, bitterness and hatred that it caused, you have sealed it. And none could have done any better."
Then I smiled sheepishly and blushed, thankful for his kindness, "Well, funny thing is that even though I gave them up, I still feel all hollow inside. Gabriel, can you please tell me Why is that is."
Then he looked at me and grinned I could see a merry twinkle in his eyes, " Kelly, the reason for that is very simple. It is because you have YET to give them all over to the MASTER," replied Gabriel.
"How do I do that Gabriel?"
Then another angel came up, while Gabriel was dark haired with blue eyes, this one was red haired with green eyes. He held out a dark sphere with traces of red through out, "You must give THIS to the MASTER, Kelly."
I took the bauble from him, What is this and who are you?"
"I am the Archangel Micheal. What I handed to you is the burden that weighed you down from the ordeal. Now, once you give it over to the MASTER, then you will be free of it and its weight, forever more."
Then I saw my life was now freed of the ordeal and the Joy of Life once again filling me, "May I hug the two of you?"
They looked at each other and light danced in their eyes, "Yes, just let you father hold the bauble," they chorused.
Then I handed Daddy the bauble and hugged the angels who both smiled sheepishly, then flew away as a pearlescent light approached us, "Well Kelly, you have certainly given my Archangels Gabriel and Micheal much to ponder, He chuckled.
"JESUS!!" I exclaimed as I jumped into HIS awaiting arms. I felt even safer in His arms than my daddy's.
"Yes, young Kelly, it is I, I bid you welcome to Heaven my sweet child, "He smiled as HE wiped away my tears of JOY.
Then I suddenly thought about Julie and her ordeal and my Heart was needed an answer, "Will Julie be OK?"
"Yes, she is here now, she is being healed of her pain and despair so that she will not have any nightmares and be able to give her love to her husband. When she marries she will not remember the ordeal's pain."
"Am I to be her husband?"
"Only you can decide to ask her."
"OK, Oh yeah! I have a burden to give you."
Then he held the bauble, "You mean this."
"Yes, I thought that Daddy had it though."
"When you freely gave up your burden, you gave it to me."
"What happens to it now?"
"As with all such, I send it as far as the East is from the West."
"OK Jesus, I feel that it is time to go for some reason," I sighed.
"It is Kelly, go say bye to your father then you shall awaken."
Then I kissed Jesus," Bye Jesus."
Then I went to my daddy who opened his arms, "So long Kelly."
I kissed him," Bye Daddy."
Then when I awoke, I found that I was in my bed in the Playhouse with Julie snuggled up by me. We were both wearing matching tops, shorts and hose of white. As I looked at her smiling face, I began thinking about her and what she meant to me.
Did I think of her as just my sister? Did I want to be her lover? COULD I be her lover? Did she want me to be her brother? Did she want me to be her sister? Did she want me to be her lover? Could I be the Father of her children?
As I pondered these questions, Julie awoke with a smile, "Morning Beautiful, how long have you been awake?" [' What a night! That dream seems to have erased my nightmare for me.']
"For about an hour, I've been thinking about us too." ['Now it is time to see if things have changed between us.']
She lay on her side, Oh? What about us? Should I be worried?" she asked with a mischievous grin.
I turned to her, "Whether we are sisters or more than that. Last night kinda makes me wonder," I sighed.
Then she gently stroked my cheek, "Please don't wonder Kelly. I can give you the answer you are seeking." ['Usually it is Kelly that is comforting me. NOW it is my sister that needs for me to comfort her.']
"Why?"
"Because you ARE my brother or sister depending on who you choose to be. I know that you love me as a sister, and truthfully, that is more than enough for me." ['It has taken me until now for me to be able to admit it.']
"So, am I forgiven for dropping you as my girlfriend?" I sighed as I remembered the Hell that we both went through not long ago.
Then she kissed me gently on the lips, "You were forgiven long ago." ['And now I can give you what you need.']
Then I kissed her in return, "Thanks my sister. I just wish that I knew how I feel right now," I sighed.
Then she grinned "Well,?"
"Well what?"
"Tell me this Kelly my sister, do you want to be a girl?"
"Yes."
Then its simple, really."
Oh?"
"You are NOT a lesbian, Right?"
"Right. I like boys, especially Johnny."
"There you go sister."
Back in the Constabulary Jail, linden was being interviewed by Constable Sebastian's son, Augustus.
"Well, Avery, looks as if Kelly did a number on both you, and your thugs." ['He is very lucky that I was not there, If I had been, I might have done even worse.']
He smiled at him, "My time here is short."
"Why is that?"
"You came across the county line to get me. the sheriff would not sanction your action, and would get me released."
Augustus smiled at his prey, "I see that you have not been kept abreast of the facts, then, have you?"
"What facts?"
"The land that your church is on was sold recently."
"So? I needed the money. Besides, the agreement was that I would not be evicted."
"True, but the new owner is Charles Woods, the father of the young lady that you had kidnapped and raped."
"SHIT!"
After that, we got up and went down to breakfast and got on with our lives. Julie's exam showed that she was clean of any S.T.D. and other than being sore, was basically sound. She never had any nightmares from the ordeal and faithfully attended the support group where she met Andrew Barbabas Taylor whom she started dating soon after.
Johnny went to counseling about his part of the ordeal and learned about the pain that victims go through. He decided then to devote himself to becoming a Police Officer like my daddy. He went to college and earned degrees in counseling, and athletics.
Constable Sebastian made sure that Pastor Linden and his followers went to prison and the church was disbanded. But in its place the Tri-County Counseling Center was formed and run by Pastor Patrick's son Pat Junior who helped many people with their problems.
After breakfast, we got together to talk about what happened to us with the others. We talked about our respective dreams and how JESUS had spoken to us and how HE had taken away our burden and despair.
When we were finished,everybody gave us a group hug and promised to be there for us if we ever needed them for anything. Then we left the building and the Constable handed the keys to the building over to Pastor Patrick.
"Thank you Constable, the Council will decide what to do with this closed church."
"The only reason that I'm doing this is because the Tri-County Church Council was given the right by the Constitution."
Then we all left and went on our way after I had hugged and kissed Momma and the Woods good bye for now. As I drove us back to the farm, I began to ponder what my life would be like now that I ready for my new life.
Then when I awoke, I found that I was in my bed in the Playhouse with Julie snuggled up by me. We were both wearing matching tops, shorts and hose of white. As I looked at her smiling face, I began thinking about her and what she meant to me.
Did I think of her as just my sister? Did I want to be her lover? COULD I be her lover? Did she want me to be her brother? Did she want me to be her sister? Did she want me to be her lover? Could I be the Father of her children?
As I pondered these questions, Julie awoke with a smile, "Morning Beautiful, how long have you been awake?" [' What a night! That dream seems to have erased my nightmare for me.']
"For about an hour, I've been thinking about us too." ['Now it is time to see if things have changed between us.']
She lay on her side, Oh? What about us? Should I be worried?" she asked with a mischievous grin.
I turned to her, "Whether we are sisters or more than that. Last night kinda makes me wonder," I sighed.
Then she gently stroked my cheek, "Please don't wonder Kelly. I can give you the answer you are seeking." ['Usually it is Kelly that is comforting me. NOW it is my sister that needs for me to comfort her.']
"Why?"
"Because you ARE my brother or sister depending on who you choose to be. I know that you love me as a sister, and truthfully, that is more than enough for me." ['It has taken me until now for me to be able to admit it.']
"So, am I forgiven for dropping you as my girlfriend?" I sighed as I remembered the Hell that we both went through not long ago.
Then she kissed me gently on the lips, "You were forgiven long ago." ['And now I can give you what you need.']
Then I kissed her in return, "Thanks my sister. I just wish that I knew how I feel right now," I sighed.
Then she grinned "Well,?"
"Well what?"
"Tell me this Kelly my sister, do you want to be a girl?"
"Yes."
Then its simple, really."
Oh?"
"You are NOT a lesbian, Right?"
"Right. I like boys, especially Johnny."
"There you go sister."
After that, we got up and went down to breakfast and got on with our lives. Julie's exam showed that she was clean of any S.T.D. and other than being sore, was basically sound. She never had any nightmares from the ordeal and faithfully attended the support group where she met Andrew Barbabas Taylor whom she started dating soon after.
Johnny went to counseling about his part of the ordeal and learned about the pain that victims go through. He decided then to devote himself to becoming a Police Officer like my daddy. He went to college and earned degrees in counseling, and athletics.
Constable Sebastian made sure that Pastor Linden and his followers went to prison and the church was disbanded. But in its place the Tri-County Counseling Center was formed and run by Pastor Patrick's son Pat Junior who helped many people with their problems.
To Be Continued...
