by Saless
Chapter 109

"No, at first they tried to kill me. Fortunately for me, the Weave protects me from death. Then they tried to imprison me, but the extra power the Weave grants me allowed me to escape. They didn't give up easily, though." Mana replied.

"That sounds ominous. What did they do?" Erica said.

"They tried to trick me. Most of their attempts were easily seen through and accomplished nothing. They came closer to success when they worked through the neutral Forces; the ones who hadn't taken part in the fighting. Time saw through them, but some of the others were more naive. But I suppose I was the truly naive one." Mana said.

"What do you mean?" Mike asked.

"My youngest brother is different from the others. While he was involved in the fighting, he'd stayed on the edges of it, biding his time. A time which never came, thanks to the Weave. I didn't know it then, but he had an intense hatred of me. But he's very cunning and charismatic. He got the other Forces to leave me alone and pretended to be my friend. Then he seduced me and tried to convince me to alter the weave. If he hadn't been so aggressive about it, he might have succeeded. But he pushed too hard and I finally realized that he didn't care about me, only what I could do for him." Mana said sadly.

"Wow, some family!" Erica exclaimed. "But you said your youngest brother was different from the others? Was that just because he was charismatic and cunning, or is there more to it?"

"First of all, you must understand that gender had no meaning for us. We had no bodies; we'd never seen the need to make any. But my youngest brother had more knowledge of gender than the rest of us. The rest of us had never considered that we would even have a gender. But Life is much more connected to gender than the rest of us were. Being bi-gendered himself, my gender was irrelevant to him. Somewhere along the line he figured out that I am not only female, but intensely female. That's how he finally got to me." Mana replied.

"I'm confused. You said your gender was irrelevant to him, but then you say that you're intensely female, whatever that means." Tiffany said.

"Most of the Forces are male or have no real gender at all. The only exceptions are Life, who is bi-gendered, and Chaos and I, who are female. So before he figured out my gender he naturally assumed I was male or genderless like the others. But that didn't matter to him. But when he figured out what I am, he knew he'd found a weakness." Mana explained.

"How is being female a weakness?" Sarah asked.

"It isn't, usually. But gender is a continuum. The average woman is only seventy five to eighty percent female. I am one hundred percent, or close enough as to make little difference. I made a body for myself in order to learn more about mortals by living amongst them. I made the mistake of making a male body. The conflict between my intensely female psyche and the very male body I was inhabiting caused me intense pain and left me wide open." Mana said.

"So that's when you were forced to go to sleep?" Erica asked.

"Yes. I was so distracted by the pain that I was in no position to notice what they were doing or counter it. With the help of several of our brothers Life bound my memory, and with it my powers. I was trapped in a male human body until the day I died. But that wasn't good enough for him. He made it so I would reincarnate each time I died, and every time in a male body. With my memory still locked away, I was unable to break the chain." Mana replied.

"But I thought you couldn't die." Tiffany said.

"I can't, but my body can. And with my memory and powers locked away I was like any other human. Well, any other transsexual human. Life after life I lived in pain and misery. Most ended by my own hand. It slowly got better with time, but it was still miserable right up until the end." Mana said.

"How did that cycle end?" Jill asked.

"Time got wind of what they were doing in time to weaken the binding, though not to break it. Being what he is, his influence caused the binding to get weaker over time. After roughly ten thousand years the binding wore off and my memory slowly returned. And with my memory came my powers." Mana replied.

"What did you do to Life and the others?" Mike asked.

"Nothing." Mana said.

"Nothing?! After all that?!" Mike exclaimed.

"You have to understand the state of mind I was in. Until my memory returned I was a transsexual woman. I was just about to have my surgery when the dreams began. The dreams that were in actuality my memories. I'd already had a difficult life, and the dreams made it worse. I had to relive all of those lives I'd lived for ten thousand years every night. By the time the memories of who I really was and what I could do came along, I had enough trouble dealing with those ten thousand years of memories. I still haven't decided what I'll do about my brothers, if anything." Mana explained.

"Why wouldn't you do anything about them?!" Erica asked incredulously.

Mana shrugged, "What would it accomplish? I am foiling their plans just by being here. What more could I do? Sure, I could torture them, but I don't want to do that. I could even kill them and elevate Incarnations or Powers to take their place, but I won't. For all their faults they are still family to me. And they can't hurt me anymore."

"What about people you know and care about? Couldn't they go after them?" Mike asked.

"I asked Time to spread the word that anyone messing with the people I care about to get to me would be destroyed. They won't risk eternal life that easily." Mana said.

"Would you really kill them?" Sarah asked.

"I'm honestly not sure. I suppose it would have to depend on the situation. I don't have to worry too much about my daughters, at least. They're powerful enough to evade my brothers and can call on me anytime they need me." Mana replied.

"You have children?" Sarah asked.

"Yes, I have five daughters. They are taking care of Avalon while I'm away." Mana said.

"What was it like?" Sarah asked intently.

Mana smiled, "Wonderful! Painful, but wonderful! I think you'll enjoy being a mother when you're ready, it suits you."

"Is that what you were asking Sarah? What's it like to give birth?" Erica asked.

"Yes. I've often wondered about that. It's one of those things that I never thought I'd get to experience, but now I can." Sarah replied with a smile.

"How did you know that's what Sarah was asking?" Erica asked suspiciously.

"I wasn't reading her mind, if that's what you were thinking. I generally stay out of people's thoughts. I knew because Sarah and I have a lot in common. We were both transsexual, and we both still have to deal with the issues that go along with that, despite being completely female now. And we both are dealing with trying to live mostly normal human lives despite having immense power." Mana said.

"Oh." Erica said sheepishly. Then, turning to Sarah, "Do you really want to have kids?"

"Of course! Don't you?" Sarah replied.

"Yes, but how would we go about that? Would you become male again?" Erica asked.

Sarah shuddered, "I don't think I could do that! But there are ways. Artificial insemination, for instance."

"It may be a while before you can learn how, but you should be able to learn to get either of you pregnant in such a way as to have the child be both of yours, genetically." Mana said.

"But my magic doesn't work on Erica." Sarah protested.

"It doesn't have to. Your bond is what will make it possible." Mana replied.

"That sounds a lot better than artificial insemination!" Erica said.

Sarah nodded, "Yes, it sure does! I wonder how long it will take for me to learn how to do that..."

"Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, Sarah, we haven't even gotten married yet!" Erica said.

"Your approach to your powers seems to be intuitive. You'll probably learn how when you're ready to have children." Mana said.