by Saless
Chapter 43

So she's immune to magic? Jill asked in shock.

Basically. Vash replied.

So you can't really talk to her then? Jill said.

No, I can't. And you have no idea how frustrating that is! Vash said.

So what exactly happened? Jill asked.

Vash told her everything that had happened while Mike sat in the recliner and brooded. Great! Sarah's happiness is too dependant on Erica. If Erica can't deal with this Sarah's going to fall apart! Jill said when he'd finished.

Exactly. And I suspect that Sarah would be happier if she stayed as she is. Which makes Erica's acceptance of her even more important. Vash replied.

You think so too? I've tried to suggest the idea to Sarah, but she won't even consider it! Jill said, surprised that Vash had already come to the same conclusion she had.

There's more, too… Vash said, explaining what he'd learned from Sarah that she herself seemed ignorant of.

What?! But… Jill began to respond, but was interrupted by Mike.

"Would you please let me in on this conversation?!" he growled. Jill was so surprised by his uncharacteristic anger that she completely lost her train of thought.

"Sorry Mike! Vash was just telling me what happened while we were gone." Jill said, and went on to explain everything Vash had said, except for his conclusions.

"Great!" Mike groaned. "Just what we need! Sarah was doing so well, and now we have to get Erica straightened out or she'll fall apart all over again. How are we supposed to do that?"

"I don't know. Vash doesn't have any ideas either. He says she's a Null, which means he can't read her mind or talk to her telepathically. It also means she's immune to magic." Jill said.

"I take it that means you can't read her either?" Mike asked.

"No, I can't. And I've never really understood the way she thinks. If she breaks up with Sarah now…" Jill trailed off.

"I get it, believe me! I've often worried Sarah might do herself in. It's only because of Erica that she's kept going these last few years. I don't know if we can keep her together if Erica dumps her." Mike replied tiredly.

Further conversation was delayed as Erica started to stir. Jill brought a chair in from the kitchen and sat down in it next to the couch. A few moments later Erica was blinking confusedly at them. "Huh?" she said blearily.

"Hi Erica. Vash tells me you've been doing a great job taking care of Sarah while we've been gone!" Jill said sarcastically. Erica cringed at her tone.

"I know, I screwed up. But how would you feel if Mike got turned into a girl? It's like Sean died and this strange girl took her place. She's not the same person, yet she is. She acts totally different in some ways, but exactly the same in others! I still love her, but it's so damn confusing!" Erica exclaimed in frustration.

Jill's expression softened somewhat at this tirade. "I guess it is a lot to take in all at once. But think about it from her point of view. She's been trying hard for over two weeks to get back to herself. Her overriding focus in all this has been to get back to being the man you fell in love with. Then suddenly there you are! After another failed attempt to change back, she's forced to confront you with these changes and she's terrified that you will drop her like a bad habit. And then you go and do something that looks an awful lot like doing just that!" Jill said, her own frustration building.

Erica hung her head in shame as Jill's words hammered at her. "I guess I hadn't thought about it like that. But the way Sean talks it's like he thinks he'll be like this forever!" Erica said fearfully.

Jill shrugged, "So what if she is?"

"What?!" Mike exclaimed. "You don't really think that Sarah will give up, do you?"

"Maybe, maybe not. But she needs to know we'll all be there for her no matter what. I think Mike and I have pretty well convinced her of that, but you have a lot of work to do." Jill replied, addressing her answer to Erica.

"But Sean's a girl! How can we keep our relationships as it was when he's not even male anymore?!" Erica said.

"It's scary, I know. Sarah's turned Mike into a girl a few times since that ability manifested and it scared me a lot. But if you really love her you should at least try. And the first step along those lines is to accept that, for now at least, Sean is Sarah, a girl. By insisting on referring to Sarah as Sean, and using male pronouns, you're giving the message that you can only accept Sarah as a guy. Vash has been trying to tell you that, but his communication skills are somewhat limited with you." Jill said.

"Is that why he hisses at me so much?" Erica asked.

"I've wondered at that." Mike said. "It makes sense, though. I mean, even with the Magician's answer, we don't really know for sure that Sarah will ever be able to change back."

Jill nodded, "And we also don't know if she'll really want to."

Mike and Erica both looked at Jill in shock at that pronouncement. "Are you suggesting that Sarah wants to stay as she is?!" Erica asked angrily.

"Maybe, but that's not the only consideration. Even if she still wants to change back, it may not be practical. Let's face it, even those who are willing to accept someone changing their gender isn't going to be as accommodating when she wants to change back. And if the curse has been helping Sarah to be accepted as the same person as Sean despite the substantial physical differences, removing the curse and returning Sarah to male could result in a lot of awkward questions about how he changed so much both times!" Jill explained.

"But you said she could just say it wasn't right for her and go back without any problems!" Mike protested.

Jill nodded sadly, "I thought so at the time. But the way people have accepted her so readily makes me worry about what would happen if she did try to change back. Even if the curse isn't responsible for that acceptance, it could still be a problem. I haven't said anything because Sarah was relaxing and doing so much better that I didn't want to stress her out again. But now the situation has changed."

Mike glanced at Erica when she said that, and Erica looked down in shame. "I've really screwed things up even more than I thought, haven't I? I just don't know if I can handle this." She said.

Mike stood up and strode over to the couch. Kneeling down he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her briefly, "You will handle this! Even if you decide you can't deal with a female Sarah permanently, you'll pretend that you can! Only once Sarah is back on an even keel will you tell her, and then only while we're there to support her and in a way that is as gentle as possible! Do you understand me?!" Mike growled.

Erica drew back in shock and looked at Mike fearfully, "Are you threatening me?!" she asked fearfully.

Mike grinned mirthlessly and said, "Yes, yes I am! I'm not going to let you destroy Sarah. She's my best friend and deserves better! I hope you'll be able to accept her as she is, or that you'll be able to fake it until she changes back. But if you can't, you're going to help us hold her together until she's strong enough to know that."

"Wow Mike, I didn't know you had it in you!" Jill said admiringly. Mike smiled, a bit embarrassed by his own outburst and Jill's praise, but determined to see it through.

"I have to look out for my girls, don't I?" he replied warmly, gazing into Jill's eyes lovingly.

"You don't…you're not falling for Sarah, are you?" Erica asked weakly with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Mike looked at the expression on Erica's face and laughed, Jill a split second behind. "No, of course not! She's like a little sister to me! She always has been." Mike explained.

Once they'd stopped laughing Jill stopped and looked at the relieved expression on Erica's face. "From the look on your face and the way you asked that, I'm guessing that you still love Sarah. You wouldn't want her to be in a relationship with someone else. Does that mean you're going to stand by her?"

Erica sighed in defeat, "You're right, I do still love her, despite her new body. It's going to be difficult, and I don't know if I can deal with it if she ends up staying female, but I'll do my best."