Wuthering Dormice (aka Bike) Part 675 by Angharad

The rest of the day seemed to be taken up by packing the car and locking up the house–then driving back to Portsmouth. At least the girls had seen my own home, and also experienced a little of Bristol and thus my home town. We’d had some fun and I’m sure they found it more enjoyable than school.

As we unloaded the other end, Simon came out to meet us. He gave each of the girls a hug and a kiss while I stood and frowned at him. He poked out his tongue and pretended to ignore me. I therefore retaliated and ignored him.

A few moments later as I was walking towards the house, he ran up behind me and lifted me off the ground. “Put me down, you silly bugger,” I yelled at him and laughed.

“I’m just giving you your welcome home hug,” he said laughing.

“I’m facing the wrong way for a hug, now put me down, before you hurt yourself.” Amazingly, he complied. “Now you can hug me properly, and give me a kiss.”

He complied again, and then we kissed some more until we could feel little eyes boring into us, and then little voices saying, “Eeeeeewch.” It’s quite off putting.

“Any more out of you lot and I’ll send you back to the dog’s home.”

“Dog’s home?” queried Trish, but we came from…”

“Don’t over analyse, Trish, it spoils my best jokes.” One of these days that kid is going to do her brain serious harm by over engaging it, or me strangling her.

“Soz, Mummy, didn’t realise you knew any.” Simon cracked up at this and had to look away or he’d have wet himself, I suspect my expression was a picture. That child is gonna hafta go!

“Did ye hae a guid time, lassies?” asked Tom as we entered the house.

“What are you doing home, Daddy?” I asked.

“I live here, remember?”

“But you’re usually in work at this time?”

“So, it’s not just you who can knock off because you’re fed up or want to go shopping.”

“Huh!” I knew he was winding me up, but he always pushes the right buttons, unlike Si, who pushes the wrong ones. “So where have you been then, not shopping, surely?”

“Actually, yes, I needed some new shoes.”

“What?” I sat down with the shock of it, “but you haven’t bought a pair of shoes since I’ve known you.”

“That’s why I got these,” he pulled up his trouser legs a few inches to show me his new brown shoes, clumpy outdoor types, a bit like him.

“They look nice,” I said thinking something very different, “but not with black trousers.”

“I’m jest breakin’ ’em in,” he said sighing, “I’m no colour blind, ye ken.”

I gave him a huge hug, which shut him up and made him laugh instead. When in doubt, hug ’em–my new motto.

“Sae, did ye hae a guid time?”

“’S’alright I s’pose,” said Trish, “She made us go to the beach and the fun fair and the exploratory, and a ride on a river boat, apart from that it was okay.”

“Ye whit?” he gasped, while I just laughed. Five years old and understanding irony more than a professor.

“She’s joking, Daddy,” I said quickly.

“I can see that,” he lied.

“Yeah, sure you can.”

“I can so,” he said and I almost waited for him to stamp his foot. It was quite funny to watch.

“They had a splendid time, didn’t you, girls?”

“We had a super time,” said Livvie, “thanks for asking, Gramps.”

I think the term of address made him gasp. Which made me laugh again. He’d found his nemesis in a five year old. Unless I wanted the same to happen to me, I needed to keep one step ahead of her–not the easiest job, especially as Trish was even brighter, so there were two of them to be treated with caution.

What worried me more than a possible lack of brain power, was the underlying anger which sometimes surfaced in both the five-year-olds. It didn’t surprise me, because I knew it was there, but just occasionally it showed. Given their histories, it was understandable–after all they had been betrayed by those whom they had trusted. To my mind, betrayal by a parent is perhaps one of the most destructive. I had no illusions about being able to heal this trauma, but I hoped in time I might ease it.

It brought back my own pain. I had felt betrayed by my parents, at least in the past, possibly they came good at the end, I don’t know about my mum, but my dad, certainly said he loved me as his daughter. At the same time, I also know his stroke altered his view of the world significantly, and we exchanged places in some ways, he became weak and I became stronger. I hope I didn’t abuse it like he had when I was trying to understand myself and where to go with things.

Some schools of thought suggest, those things we cannot resolve internally, will be exercised on a larger screen and force us to resolve externally. Maybe my fostering children will enable me to heal some of my own wounds as well as give me a sense of fulfilment I would otherwise not experience. I love children, even if I can’t have any of my own–life has many ironies.

Of course, all of this flashed through my mind in moments, as I hugged and kissed Tom. I also remembered we ought to talk about some form of rent, because it seemed unfair that we were living on his generosity when we could afford to pay something.

“Can I talk to you later, Daddy?”

“Aye, o’course ye can, whit’s it aboot?”

“Nothing urgent, but in case I forget, you can remind me.”

“Och, ye blether in riddles,” he returned his attention to the girls and they made a fuss of him whilst I helped Simon unload the car.

“Did you miss me?” I asked Simon.

“To be honest, it wasn’t until the second night you were away that I realised why it was so quiet in bed.” He ducked as he finished that statement, then ran up the drive with me chasing him. If he thought his luck was in tonight, he just thought wrong!

I put my bike away, feeling sad that I hadn’t ridden it at all. There was always tomorrow, I suppose, and maybe I could get Stella to watch Mima while I had a quick ride. I’d have to think about doing shorter more intense rides, perhaps even consider some time trialling–that’s pretty intensive stuff. I locked the garage and Simon put his arm around me. “I’ll watch ‘em for an hour on the weekend so you can get in a ride.”

“Thanks, Si,” I said and kissed him, maybe his luck was in after all?