A New Style of Education - Part 17

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Synopsis:

Sam has some issues, which seems to catch everybody off guard. At the final concert where is Mr Taylor?

Story:

A New Style of Education

by Karen Page

Part 17

"My hair is such a mess," moaned Helen as we got dressed. Jill and Anna had already disappeared for breakfast.

"How's mine?" I asked, now I no longer required a wig. They had worked wonders before the trip.

"You could do with a touch up," she replied. "I wish I'd thought of this before. Do you recon that Disney has a hairdresser's?"

"Not in this hotel," I replied. "However, there might be a salon at one of the different hotels. If not, we'll just have to go into Val d'Europe. We passed one when we were there the other day."

"Yes, but we should have booked earlier. We'll never get an appointment at this late hour."

I phoned reception and found there was a salon at the Hotel New York. I quickly rang and, in a rather puzzled voice, they informed me that we'd already been booked in for this afternoon. No wonder Mr Hobson was so unfazed when he was asked about hairdressers on the coach journey from England.

"We've appointments at quarter-to-one," I told Helen. "It seems Mr Hobson had already arranged for us to be seen."

"Why am I not surprised?" she replied, fastening her trainers. "Okay, let's grab breakfast and tell the others."

When we got our breakfast there was no sign of any teachers, or anyone from year two. I presume they were more used to sleeping late before a concert.

"We have some news for you all," I said as we sat down. "We all have hair appointments at the Hotel New York Salon."

"All of us?" asked Lewis.

"Yes, including you. I doubt you will be in the chair long, but it's important that we all look our best. We will be representing the school."

Just as we were finishing our breakfast Mr Hobson came in. "Ah, I'm glad to catch you. I have booked you all hair appointments."

"At quarter-to-one," we all chorused together.

"Good, good," he chortled. "I'm glad you are staying ahead of the game. Oh, Andy and Stacy have offered to do all your makeup. Can you let me know who you want?"

"Stacy," said Paula immediately.

"Stacy for me as well," said Emma, followed by the same from Jessica and Sam.

"I suppose I better have Andy then," said Helen, trying to keep a straight face.

"I won't want to upset him either," I added, the corner of my mouth twitching.

"What about you two?" Mr Hobson asked Anna and Jill.

"Well I suppose we better go for Andy," replied Anna, with Jill nodding. "Keep it four people each."

Jill was having a harder time than me in keeping a straight face. She looked up and saw my twitching lips and we both burst out laughing. Helen and Anna joined in and the other six looked at us strangely.

"What's going on?" asked Sam.

"Never judge the skills of a person based on their gender. I thought you realised that on day one, when it was announced that Paula's specialist skill was a mechanic. Stacy is good at makeup, but Andy is so much better."

"You're joking," said Paula, knowing in her heart that we weren't.

"It's not my place to promote one student over another," said Mr Hobson. "However, Stacy would admit it if you asked, though she would never admit it in front of Andy. Anyway it has worked out well, Stacy doing one room of students and Andy doing the other. Now run along, as this is your last morning of relaxation. Tomorrow after breakfast we leave for school and lots of hard lessons."

"Thanks," said Jessica sarcastically. "It's really great to be reminded of lessons."

"If you love them so much, I can make sure you get more," threatened Mr Hobson.

"Sorry," apologised Jessica, chastised. "I'm happy with the amount of school work I have."

"So, what shall we do today?" I asked, as we walked out of the restaurant.

"We could go swimming," said Paula, without thinking.

"Paula!" cried Emma. "You know that’s not possible."

"Oh, I'm sorry," replied Paula. "I forgot. I see you so much as a girl, that I didn't think."

"It's okay," forgave Emma. "I'd like to go on Pirates of the Caribbean again."

That set us all off and we all nominated which rides we wanted to go on again. Well all but Sam.

"What about you Sam?" I asked.

"I don't mind," Sam replied, turning red.

"Sam," I said gently. "We won't mind. You can choose any ride you want, we won't mind."

However, Sam wouldn't budge and I was disappointed. "Look Sam, I just want everyone to have the rides they want. I know some would have liked to go on Space Mountain, but that freaked you out last time. Nobody chose that ride so you could also be happy."

"If you-" interrupted Sam.

"Hush," I said. "Why don't you go on your ride, while we go on Space Mountain? That way, you can enjoy yourself without us having to know what ride it is."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked in a small voice.

"I'll go with you," said Jessica. "I think I know what ride you want to go on and I'd love to go with you."

"Oh Jessica," said Sam, flinging her arms round her. "Thank you."

"Okay, let's vote on it. Hands up if you think the plan is a good idea."

Everyone raised their hands.

"Excellent. Let's go clean our teeth and meet in fifteen minute."

The morning was great fun and we rushed from ride to ride. Sam and Jessica disappeared while we queued for Space Mountain. When we got to the arranged meeting place we could see Sam and Jessica chatting away.

"Hold it," said Helen and we all came to an abrupt stop.

"What is it," asked Paula.

"Look at Sam," Helen replied. "It looks like Sam's telling Jessica something very emotional. Sam has been holding back a lot to help support Jessica. I think it's Jessica's turn to help Sam."

"It's not good that this is happening here," said Emma.

"No, it isn't," I agreed, "but sometimes these things happen."

"So what do we do?" asked Lewis.

"Well we go sit down out the way and wait. Why don't you get us all an ice-cream?"

"Why is it always me?" complained Lewis.

"Don't you want one?"

"Eight ice-creams coming up," he sighed. "Come on Brian, I'll need your help."

"Do we tell Dan?" Paula asked, the others were seated on one of the other benches.

"I will warn him, but let's see how it develops before we get him to intervene," I suggested. "Jessica has seen us and knows that we'll help if she needs it. If Dan intervenes now, it might cause Sam to close-up. Since Sam has started to open up it's important that everything comes out. Dan can be there to pick up the pieces, if need be."

"You're the boss," said Paula.

"No, I'm not. We work as a team; Helen and I just get told things and told to tell you the bad news. We are also to operate as a voice for the rest of the year, so that Mr Hobson only gets two people nagging him, rather than ten. I took your suggestion and agreed with you that we should tell Dan."

"I suppose. I'm sorry if it seemed I was getting at you. It's hard sometimes, understanding what's going on at the school. You seem to have a better understanding and it's frustrating, being kept in the dark. For instance, the other day you and Helen got into trouble, which was so out of character for either of you. There was more to it than you let on, but you took the punishment, so we wouldn't find out."

"That's the problem," I frowned. "You lot are so intelligent, that you see me hide something and then feel resentful. Yes, something happened, but no, I'm not saying what. If I tell you, then I'll have to tell everyone and it would freak some people out. This has nothing to do with me being a year leader. Even if the leader was someone else, it wouldn't be something I would mention."

"You seem to carry a lot of secrets."

"One or two," I admitted, without really giving anything away. "The ones I do have are best they're kept that way. One thing about this school is, it encourages asking academic questions and learning, but it's best not to ask questions about other things."

"Like the way you stopped Jill and Anna talking about what happened, the day you went to get them. As soon as Jill started to say something about it, you cut her off, making it seem like nothing had happened."

"Nothing happened," I lied. "Anyway, I think that is something you shouldn't be asking."

"Mmm," was the only reply I got.

Lewis and Brian appeared with the ice-cream and we all waited. Dan said he would come to the park, just in case. Just as we were finishing off our ice-cream Jessica and Sam came across.

"Are you okay?" asked Paula, flinging her arms round Sam. Paula was quickly joined by the rest.

I gave Jessica a hug and asked, "It can be quite draining, helping someone in emotional distress. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine replied Jessica. Thanks for thinking about me though."

"Sam, do you need to speak with Dan?" I asked.

"I think it might be a good idea," said Jessica before Sam could answer.

I looked at Sam who reluctantly nodded. "I suppose I should know what options I have."

That sounded ominous, but I trusted Jessica to know when to panic. She'd gone through her own trauma and had learned the hard way that talk can help. If she thought that Dan was required, then it must be serious or something that she didn't understand.

"I contacted Dan earlier and he said he would come into the park," I said to Jessica and Sam.

Sam rang Dan and a few minutes later Sam was talking with Dan.

"Are you sure you're okay," I asked Jessica. She seemed totally lost.

"I listened and helped Sam open up, but I don't totally understand. I hope that Dan does. I wish I could have been with Sam while telling Dan, but Dan said that it needed to be a one-on-one session."

"Perhaps Tracy would be able to explain things to you," suggested Helen. I nodded, thinking that was a great idea.

"Will one of you stay with me while I ring," begged Jessica, nearly in tears. "If I have to explain things over the phone, I don't know if it will come out right."

"I'll stay," I offered. "You really care for Sam, don't you?"

"Yes, and I'm just so confused with what Sam said. In some ways it made sense, in others it didn't."

"Things can be confusing," I agreed, wondering what Sam had said. "I presume that's why we have our own therapists."

Tracy had heard that Sam had needed Dan and was nearby just in case she was needed. Within a few minutes she was sitting with Jessica.

"Do you want us to hang around?"

"We might be some time," said Tracy. "When Dan has a rough outline, we are going to move back to the hotel anyway. The middle of a fantasy theme park isn't the place to give the help they both need. I'd suggest that you carry on and meet at the hairdressers."

The rest of the morning was subdued. We went on the rides, but our hearts weren't in it. I'd catch a glimpse of people in our year checking their PDA, hoping to see an update. None came.

During our early lunch, none of us felt like eating much, but we knew that it was important that we had something. Even Lewis and Helen, who I think thought with their stomachs, hardly ate.

"Let's go to the hairdresser's," suggested Helen after a long pause, while we examined the half-eaten food.

"That's a good idea," added Paula. "They might have finished the previous people early."

When we got there, the last of the year three students were just finishing. Wendy came rushing across when she didn't see Jessica.

"Where are Sam and Jessica?"

"They are with Dan and Tracy," I replied.

"What?! Are they okay? What happened? Why didn't someone tell me?"

"Wendy, Jessica is fine. Sam told Jessica something, we aren't sure what, but it concerned Jessica enough that she suggested that Sam spoke with Dan."

"So why is Jessica with Tracy?"

"Because Jessica was confused with what Sam told her. It was something she'd never come across before, so asked Tracy to explain things, so she could understand Sam better. There is a growing attraction between them and Jessica is worried about it dying before it gets going."

"I was worried that she'd done something stupid."

"You know she wouldn't do that. In fact she was highly sensible about Sam and realised that there are times when you do have to ask for help. You should be proud of Jessica."

"I am. She will probably end up a far better person than I am. I'm sometimes a bit bitter and tend to blame other people for my own faults."

"At least you are thinking about the way you act," I replied. "That is a good start."

A lady from the salon came across to take our names. We were soon being ushered to have our hairs washed, styled and set, ready for tonight's performance.

While we were having our hair washed, Sam and Jessica came in. Sam had changed and looked more like Samantha. Sam looked a lot happier than earlier and Jessica just looked on with a tinge of concern. There was nothing I could say, as I was trapped, but I listened to her tell the others that she was okay and things would be explained when we were back at school.

When I saw myself in the mirror, I could have wept. I looked like my mother did in her wedding photograph. It was the only picture I'd ever seen of my mother when younger and it was by accident. I needed some money for school and my Dad reluctantly told me to take a fiver out of his wallet. Hidden inside was the photograph. As soon as he realised that I'd seen the photograph, he told me never to tell my Mum that he had it. I tried to find out why, but he wouldn't say. I'd never forgotten that picture and in my mind I could still see their happy smiling faces.

As we were leaving, the year five students were coming in. They were being called forward to get started. The salon was a hive of controlled chaos.

As soon as Stacy saw me, she came straight across instead of going to get her hair washed. "Can I have a quiet word with you and Helen?"

"Why don't you lot run ahead," I said to the rest of year one.

When they were gone she asked, "What happened today with Sam?"

"Sam decided to tell something to Jessica. Jessica decided that Sam needed to speak with Dan and then she was unsure enough to want to speak with Tracy. Sam seemed a lot happier since."

"Do you know that all the psychiatrists got together to discuss things afterwards? I've only got a little information, but what Sam was talking about was something none of them had come across before and they wanted to make sure they were in agreement. Sam is obviously okay or Dan would have been here and there would have been the possibility that Sam might have been excused from the concert."

"That bad?"

"Student health comes first. If there is any risk, all stops are pulled out. There will be an internal look, as students are checked before the field trip. There shouldn't have been anything left that could cause a student to have an issue during the trip."

"Well, if all five of them had to get together, then I'm sure that it wasn't something they were looking for, or expecting."

"Well if you hear anything, can you let me know," asked Stacy. "I don't like it when students get unexpected issues."

"Jayne's was expected," suddenly said Helen, breaking her silence. "Rachel was in the sleeping wing already."

Stacy smiled and nodded. "Why did she let me go through that?" I asked, feeling hurt that I'd been allowed to suffer.

"Because you learn more when you discover things yourself," said Stacy sagely. "Would Rachel telling you about your uncle, have had the same impact on you? Would you have still looked inside and tried to understand what he went through; what your mother went through; both then and now?"

I thought for a bit, replaying that day in my mind. "I suppose not," I reluctantly agreed, "but it's still not nice being manipulated."

"You weren't being manipulated. Rachel lets nature take its course. She was just there when you needed her."

"Okay, if I hear anything then I will let you know," I promised. "I daren't ask Sam and no one from the support team will talk, so the only possibility is via Jessica."

"Are you okay?" asked Helen as the salon door closed behind us.

"I still feel a little duped," I answered, a tinge of hurt in my voice.

"I don't know why I didn't see it," replied Helen, putting her arm round mine. "I love you Jayne and I'll always be here for you."

This was the first time Helen had shown her feelings for me outside the school, or in privacy. I put my arm round her and leaned my head against her. We got a strange look from a family walking by, but we didn't care. As we walked into the hotel, a lady behind the reception smiled pleasantly at us.

"Are you some of the students who practiced the other night?"

"Yes," we replied together.

"Oh gosh," she gushed. "You were all so wonderful. I've never been into classical music, but your playing was so captivating. Someone mentioned there was some music that I had to hear. I think that most of the hotel staff and more were listening to you."

"Really, it was only a run through. We have the main concert tonight."

"Your hair looks lovely. I hope it all goes well tonight and you have fun."

"Thank you," we said walking away, our hearts beating; partly because of the excitement for tonight's concert, but mostly because we were together. Would it be the same if I was David? Would Helen still love me and show affection to me? Well I'll find out late tomorrow when we arrived back at the school.

At five we were all gathered in the hotel reception. The coach arrived and we all clambered aboard. There were only a few adults with us for this trip and I smiled to myself when I noticed that Mr Taylor wasn't with us.

We were going against the general flow of traffic, so we weren't held up too much and under an hour later, we were entering the hall via the stage door. Inside, we were ushered into a room where we found our instruments waiting. The larger instruments, like the double bass and cello, were tuned up and some burley men took them onto the stage.

"Tonight we are playing in front a full house," explained Mrs Russell. "So when you go onto stage, the house lights will still be on. You saw what a large hall we had in Disney. This isn't as big, so hopefully there shouldn't be any shocks. If you see someone who is, then please help them tactfully to their seat. It will wear off, so don't try to be too obvious about it."

"Will Mickey be conducting the 1812?" asked Brian nervously.

"Lewis will be conducting the 1812, but not as Mickey Mouse," replied Mrs Russell. "Well I hope not anyway."

We tuned up and all the players, apart from Stacy, filed onto the stage. I was amazed how full it looked. Apart from the front row, where there were two obvious gaps, the whole place looked packed. Stacy appeared to thunderous applause and when the audience settled we proceeded to tune up.

We would have expected Mrs Russell to appear soon afterwards, but she didn't. Suddenly there was movement and in came a man accompanied by a lady. I tried to see who they were, but I was too far away. They must have been important, as security guards took up position at the wall.

Soon afterwards, Mrs Russell appeared to loud applause. I suppose that anything that happened in this hall would appear loud, as there were more people than I'd ever played to in my life. The first half passed off without incident and we were enjoying a welcome rest during the interval, when Stacy signalled she wanted a word. I moved away from Paula and Brian, so they wouldn't hear what was being said.

"The person you need to watch is on the front row, four in from the centre," Stacy said showing me a small photograph.

"Okay," I replied, looking at the photo and trying to memorise his face. "I will have the cleaning cloth from my horn with me. It is a dull yellow. If I drop it on the floor, I am saying that something appears to be happening."

"Okay, I've got it," she replied. "I just hope nothing happens."

"So do I," I said gravely, not wishing to think what I'd get up to if something did go wrong. "By the way, what's his name?"

"I don't know and it doesn't matter in doing our job."

"True, it was just that it would make it easier talking to you about him."

When we got back onstage after the interval, the front had been rearranged in preparation for the Mozart. I took my place, my nerves growing. After the next piece, I would be sat at the front, for hundreds, or even over a thousand people to watch. I was glad that I hadn't asked how many this hall sat.

Sibelius's Karelia Suite was only nine minutes and that time passed too quickly. Once I was playing, time disappeared, as I lost myself to the music. I'd never listened to much Sibelius and before learning the Karelia Suite for this concert, I'd only heard Finlandia. It was strange, every time I thought of Finlandia, I thought of the film Die Hard 2, which my Dad always seemed to watch back to back with Die Hard 1. This used to be on a Saturday night, when there were no soap's that mum insisted on watching.

The lights dimmed on the stage and I walked to the front and took my place. I wiped down my instrument and made sure that the cloth was rested securely on my knee. I didn't want it to fall, unless I caused it too. I didn't want Stacy letting someone know to tell the Alpha team to abort. There was a splattered applause, when the stage lights came back to full severity. I suppose it wasn't the same as having guest players, where there would be big show of them arriving.

There was enough glare from the stage lights, that I could pick out the people in the front row. All appeared to be normal with the person I was watching. I glanced across at the couple who had arrived late and almost fainted. I recognised the man, but not the woman. He was Jacques Chirac, President of the French Republic, Co Prince of Andorra and Grand Master of the Legion of Honour. I presume the blond haired lady next to him was his wife, Bernadette. I could believe it. I was about to play a leading role in a piece, in front of the leader of a country.

I can't do this. How can the school expect me to be able to play to someone so important?

I was bought out of these thoughts by Wendy tapping me on my leg. I was worried at first that she would disturb the cloth but she hadn't. "It's okay," she hissed, without moving her lips. "You played in front of Mickey Mouse yesterday and he's far more important."

It was such an outrageous statement, that it almost made me laugh. Then perhaps she is right. Yes, Jacques Chirac is the French President, but he is still human. In his way, Mickey Mouse is just more important to children than President Chirac.

I looked up at Mrs Russell, who was looking at me. I gave her a slight nod to let her know I was ready and focused. She gave me a slight smile, raised her arms and the strings came in with the opening bars. They were playing with such delicacy and lightness, that I had to smile. It was just as we had been told to play it and had never quite reached the expected bounce. You could see the pleasure in Mrs Russell's eyes. There was nothing like reaching your peak in the main concert. Now let's hope I don't make a mistake.

During the playing of the Sinfonia Concertante, I kept an eye on the other three players, Mrs Russell and the mystery man. Nothing happened. I was glad to see that he didn't appear to get any calls, or check on anything. In fact he didn't do anything, other than watch us play, totally enthralled with the music we were producing.

When the piece finished, there was loud applause. We were made to stand and the applause grew louder. Four young men came on stage and presented us each with a bouquet of flowers. I was glad that they didn't attempt to give me a kiss, even if it was just on the cheek. It wouldn't have felt right from a stranger.

As we went into the back to temporarily dispose of the flowers, Mr Hobson looked enquiringly at me. I gave him a smile and a nod to let him know all was okay. The look of relief on his faces was something I never thought I'd see.

The last piece was the 1812 Overture and Lewis came on looking very smart. When he got to the podium, he got his own applause as he took a slight bow. I was glad that the stage was so wide, that the percussion were over on stage right. The cymbals, even when they weren't close to my ears, still agitated me. Since I'd never actually heard a cannon fire, I wasn't able to say how realistic the sound was, but to me it sounded too realistic and I expected to see a smouldering hole in the back of the hall.

The applause at the end didn't stop and no matter how many times we stood it seemed to be louder each time. I noticed Mr Hobson, who was standing in the wing, out of sight to the audience, shake his head. I wondered who he was signalling to, but I had no time to worry.

"Encore A," came the order from Mrs Russell and Lewis again conducted with a flare that made him look like he'd been conducting for years. I wonder how much he knew, and how much was faked, just to get him through the concert. I thought Mrs Russell would have gone for Encore B, as we all seemed exhausted after all the effort we'd put in. This just seemed to delay things for longer.

After we'd finished the encore, we went straight into the French National Anthem, which excited and pleased the purely French audience. They all stood and joined in and sang along.

The applause started again but we didn't move. The concert was over, but we didn't get the signal from Mrs Russell. The main lights came on and some of the audience had started to get up to leave the hall, others stayed seated, wondering what was happening.

Mrs Russell gave a slight smile, closed her eyes and, with her left hand, pointed at Andy who started a drum roll. The audience, who weren't leaving quietly, suddenly fell silent. Some rushed back to their seats and others just stood where they were, shocked that something was happening. The orchestra knew what was happening, but was puzzled to why. She moved her right hand and we started playing the British National Anthem.

There were a few gasps of shock from the audience and there was no singing like during the French one a few moments earlier. As we finished, we did get a diluted clap. As we rose to leave, the clap turned into applause for the great concert that we'd just given.

Tiredly, we placed our instruments into the room backstage; they would be transported back to the school. This had been an exceptional concert, which I was really glad to take part in. I had taken part in a concert, where one of the most important leaders of the world, listened to me play. If six months ago, I'd been told that this would occur, I would never have believed them.

"Well done all of you," said Mrs Russell. "That was outstanding playing and well done for surviving the longer encore and two national anthems. I'm proud of you."

"As am I," said Mr Hobson, who was stood next to her. "Your playing was outstanding and I heard such good things from the audience as they left."

As we walked to the coach, Stacy came up and said quietly to Helen and me, "They got back safely, so it looks like the beta team can relax again. It looks like they got what they needed, but it needs to be analysed overnight."

I was glad that all was okay. The thought of helping had some appeal, but would I really be cut out to do what was asked? The run through, we'd had the other week, was good fun, but that was in the safety of the school. Heck, I'm only thirteen, should I really need to be having thoughts like this? Yet, at the back of my mind was the thrill to help, the feeling of the adrenaline pumping through my body, as we managed to get to the room in the practice. Perhaps I should talk about this with Helen. On second thoughts perhaps it would just worry her. I wonder what the analysts will find and how it will affect me and the rest of the kids at school.

"Penny for your thoughts," prompted Helen.

"It's nothing," I answered, putting the questions at the back of my mind. "Just wondering what school will bring when we go home tomorrow."

Notes:

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Comments

Sam & Jessica Have A Private

discussion about Sam's ability to perform at the concerts. Jayne again proves to be the leader she is becoming. They even play for the French President. Luckily, nothing happens, but Jayne wants to know why she was duped into being Jayne and not David. Now he will see if Helen will love David as much as she does Jayne. Student health is paramount, all Jayne has to do is bitch a lot and she will stay David.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

It does seem a bit hypocritical

Jamie Lee's picture

Ever since the year one students arrived at Hayfield they have been more than encouraged to be open with each other. To share their feelings and support each other.

David figured out things they would have been told about some time later. But, what he reasoned out can't be shared with any of the others except Helen.

Jayne goes with Marcus to rescue Jill and Anna, an armed police response team arrives, shots are fired, Adam get caught in the backyard and has to strip, and only Helen is told of the events.

And now it's Sam and Jessica but again Jayne has to keep her thoughts to herself. And when Helen and Jayne acted up so Jayne could take a picture of the man following them, only Helen and Jayne knew who the man turned out to be.

It's all well and good to have them share with each other, the school is trying to get them to form a team relationship. But it seems a bit hypocritical when share means only what you're allowed to share.

Others have feelings too.

I do have a slight question about the music

Would playing the 1812 -- a celebration of a catastrophic defeat for the French hero Napoleon -- be a diplomatic choice to perform in front of the French President ???

1812 in France

Some would see it as a slap against the French. Others would agree that he was a tyrant and were glad that he was stopped. Views of history aren't ever clear cut.

Then reflect this against the playing of Wagner in Israel and the upset that causes (see part 18).

Colonel Bogey

From wikipedia:
Canadian officials were embarrassed in May 1980, when a military band played "Colonel Bogey" during a visit to Ottawa by Japanese prime minister...

NSoE Part 17

Bravo, Bravo, Encore, Encore.

A wonderfully orchestrated addition to this series. I was on the edge of my seat as I read. Waiting anxiously for the next chapter.

Well done

Hugs & Giggles to all
Penny

a bit like chewing gum ...

This is a considerable work by the author and I have the feeling I should be enjoying it more than I am, sorry Guys! Having the temerity to say this means I've probably already upset the 'hugs and kisses' brigade. ;-(

I have two small problems with this series - one of organization and one of style.

Because there is some time between the release of chapters I forget who all the characters are, especially more so, since most characters have two names. It would help me to have a colourful frontispiece explaining who is who. I am sure the author has their own copy of something similar!

Secondly, I find the style of story telling a little frustrating. I think this is a consequence of trying to tell the story using so much dialogue. I know it helps establish characters at the start of a story, but now I think a lot of it could be dropped. After all so much of what we say to one another really ought not to be reported, and I think that goes for the characters here too. A good précis of this tale would help me no end.

I persevere I suppose because I want to see if the school is really a recuiting agency for MI6 or whatever. So I find myself just skim reading to get the bones of the story. This is a pity considering the effort the author has expended in crafting accurate, well phrased text.

Third Person Writing

Most professional writing is third person.
It is more plausible reading than a god-like narrator telling you the thoughts of different characters.
over a character's shoulder third person depends on dialog and onscreen action to carry the story to the reader.
Without dialog, it gets pretty boring.

re: a bit like chewing gum

Hi Angela,

I very much value your opinion. It is well put and is just as important to me, if not more so.

Yes, I agree there is a lot of dialogue, because the characters are still not totally revealed. For instance in this episode we have revealed a bit more about Sam and the way the school operates. Part 18 has quite a bit of dialogue, as there are important information to portray when they get back to the school, before the story pace quickens to the next important steps in the story.

Dialogue isn't just good for setting the characters, but also for carrying the reader with the story. I just picked up some books off the shelf and they have just as much dialogue towards the end as in the beginning. Perhaps the dialogue is getting stale is the problem. I know I'm not as good at it as some other authors here. I am still learning.

Hugs

Karen

A good story is more than just a plot ...

... its also about the people who live it, and how the plot affects them. For example, Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy would have been far less interesting if we didn't care about Frodo and the burden he had to carry. Emotional content comes not from the dry statement of facts but from a personal connection to the individuals involved, and caring about their fate.

This story has mysteries within mysteries, and we're seeing everything through the very observant eyes of David/Jayne, an interesting and sympathetic character in his own right. What happens to the students along the way to the story's end adds depth and warmth, and I for one am content to let Karen unfold her tale in her own way. Besides, I happen to like her style... and the amount of dialogue she uses is just right, as far as I'm concerned.

You go, girl! *grins*

Randalynn

MATURIN: I have nothing to do with nations, or nationalism. The only feelings I have -- for what they are -- are for men as individuals; my loyalties, such as they may be, are to private persons alone.
DILLON: Patriotism will not do?
MATURIN: My dear creature, I have done with all debate. But you know as well as I, patriotism is a word; and one that generally comes to mean either my country, right or wrong, which is infamous, or my country is always right, which is imbecile.
-- Master and Commander, by Patrick O'Brian

dialogs give you a closer connection to the characters

Thank you Karen for yet again a wonderfull chapter.

Well personally I do not need this listing of characters but I think it could be a good idea for some.

The dialogs are actually what draws one into the story so much I think. So while it is your decission I would rather have you keep all the dialogs and let us feel like we are part of year one.

thanks so much

Holly

PS: see - no hugs ;)

Friendship is like glass,
once broken it can be mented,
but there will always be a crack.

I read for the pure joy of it...

I do not read and analyze, I read to go with the flow of the writers skill as she takes me through her written creation.

Dialogue is one of THE most important elements that convey the realism of the story. It is what gives the characters their personalities, adds the emotions, the suspense and sets up our wanting to know more about and what is behind the characters.

I feel sorry for those that read and analyze as they go. They lose that part of the story that makes you be involved as you read. Being analytical sets you apart from the story, like you are detached and it is just another story based on analytical properties; something to be graded or used to teach from or to offer personal feelings when ones real person wasn't into the story, just the analytical mind of the person and not the heart.

If I proof for someone, I read it through first, just for the enjoyment and to appreciate that story as a story. After that I will do the line by line proofing. It's like I approach the story from a different perspective entirely.

Karen, I am from the hugs and giggles parade and proud of it. I am also part of the analytical parade as well. One thing is certain though, the hugs and giggles always come before the analytical.

Huggles and giggle Sis!
Angel

Be yourself, so easy to say, so hard to live.

"Be Your-Self, So Easy to Say, So Hard to Live!"

Reading for fun is more productive than analytical reading

I agree wholeheartedly, Angel. Reading is about being more than analytical. I've proofed for a couple of different people now, and I'll always read the entire thing through just for the laughs and emotions so that I get a feel for the story and what the author was trying to communicate.

Analysing a story will only take you so far, and its a really boring way to read, unless you are doing it for study purposes. Even then though, its still better to read it to get a feel of things first then analyse it.

Great work Sis!

*Hugs*
Cathy.