Kushina was in the bathroom in the Hokage mansion, drying her eyes. She wanted more than anything to put her life back to normal. She feared that everyone would no longer see her the same way, like Konohamaru did with his romantic intentions. At my funeral, they will see my corpse on the slab, cry some tears, and say goodbye forever. I'll end up alone and in a strange body with nobody to talk to or to relate to. I don't want to disappear and be forgotten. I'm scared of being alone. She could cut herself and let the pain erase the loneliness. A kunai was stashed in a leather pouch on her thigh under the hem of her dress. She lifted the hem and reached for the pouch. As her hand drew near the knife, it shook hesitantly.

She wondered why she felt like this was necessary. Life was uncomfortable and strange for her. On some level, she didn't want to be Kushina anymore. She wanted to feel brave like she did before. She sincerely missed being Naruto, and it made her sad. How could she brave the fears that she had about her future? Could she quell the uncertainty? Naruto's way wasn't her own anymore, but she knew if she could tap into Naruto's experiences, she could use them to stay her nerves. She sat down on the floor in a lotus position and focused inwardly on her pulse and respiration. She had used a state of hypnosis to commune with the Kyuubi. She hoped that she could commune with Naruto in the same way.

She thought back to the exact moment when Naruto cut his hand. She replaced him with herself as she continued. She wanted to be a part of the sensations that killed Naruto's fear and drove him to succeed in defeating Neji. She wanted to be strong.

The memory slowly coalesced into a mental image which was played back like a movie in her mind. The kunai began to tear into her claw-rendered hand. The pain was unbearable. Blood squirted out of her hand; she felt the tingling and throbbing pain as the blade cut through skin and tendon. She smelled the coppery blood and felt the pain. It escalated to a new height in the end when she pulled the knife out.

Her mind told her that it had enough and was nearly on the verge of blacking out. She took note of this and counted herself out of the trance and looked down at her left hand. There was no wound, thankfully.

Her general anxiety was gone. She felt as though she now understood her old bravery.

Now all I have to do is picture myself bleeding from my hands and I'll be able to get over any fear, She thought to herself. She wrinkled her brows then laughed, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

She checked her watch. She had to get ready! She found a drawer under the sink with a few of Tsunade's things including a brush and lip gloss. She didn't need anything more. She used both of them and left the bathroom. She went upstairs to look for the dining room.

Shizune was at the top of the stairs in the hallway pushing a rolling tray and wearing a chef's hat. She turned to Kushina, smiled and commented, “I like your outfit. You look nice.”

“Thank you Shizune-sama.”

“Please, Kushina-dono, I served your mother and your family for years. Treat me as you would your own aunt.”

“Okay, I will, Shizune-chan. Can you help me? I don't know where to go for dinner.”

“Of course, dear. Please follow me.” Shizune led Kushina down the hall to a double-doorway with inlaid gold designs. Upon opening them, a room rich with tapestries and ornate wooden furniture was revealed. The room's shape was round, and a number of huge windows showcased a breathtaking view of the village. In the center of the room was a long and very beautiful wooden table with a lace tablecloth. Spot lights from the ceiling lit it up.

“This place is fantastic!” Kushina said excitedly, “I've never been in the living areas of the mansion before.”

Tsunade was sitting at the head of the table and wearing her finest white robes. Shizune gestured towards a chair next to Tsunade and bowed. “Please, have a seat Kushina-dono.”

Kushina groaned at the overbearing honorific, but sat down, careful to hold the hem of her dress straight beforehand. Shizune excused herself and left the room.

Tsunade held her hand out to Kushina and said, “Thanks for coming, sweetie.” Kushina accepted it with a smile. She was really happy to be spending dinner with her new mother. At least until...

Tsunade said, “I have a surprise for you.”

“What?” Kushina didn't like surprises from other people. She much preferred being the one to surprise.

“Sakura-chan is coming to dinner.” Tsunade grinned.

Kushina paled, “Sakura-chan?”

Tsunade replied with mirthful feigned innocence, “Ku-chan, is something wrong?”

Kushina obviously upset, replied, “She's out to kill me!”

“No, she's not.” Tsunade laughed.

Kushina pouted, “Yes, yes she is, mom. She sure seemed to have murderous intent when she threw that bench at me.”

“You've known for years that she has a temper. How do you figure she was going to kill you?”

“She attacked me in my sleep last night!” Kushina exclaimed then backtracked slightly, “Well, she was going to clobber me to death if Jiraiya hadn't jumped in and told her Naruto was out on a mission. He also said I was using his place as a safe house.”

“Attacked you? I find that hard to believe. She showed up earlier in tears because she heard you were dead. But then I suppose it could have been guilt over hitting you that she was crying over.”

Kushina felt confused. Sakura cried over hitting me? She could barely remember Sakura crying out of anger, or when Sasuke broke her heart. Sakura usually only shed tears for those she loved. The young kunoichi wondered if Sakura had feelings for her. She sighed and replied. “I was sleeping in my bed and she pulled my blanket off of me.”

Tsunade gave her the skeptical eye, “And she threw a punch at you?”

“No,” Her daughter said obstinately, “But I'm sure she was going to.”

Tsunade wasn't buying her story. “Hold on. You're telling me that you were afraid she was going to hit you and she didn't. Has she ever held a grudge against you like that before? I mean where she would actually attack you in your sleep hours after she stopped being mad.”

“Well... huh... no, I guess not. Maybe you're right, mom. But waking me up like that had to mean something.”

Tsunade idly played with her chopsticks and looked Kushina in the eye with a gleeful smile, “From the way she cried, I'd say she might have been trying to give you a late night love confession.”

“You've got to be kidding me! Ugh, you're so embarrassing.”

“Just like a real mom. And I have to say, you're far too easy to tease.” Tsunade laughed then looked thoughtful, “Jiraiya said a mission, huh? I'll have to think of something to cover for that story.”

“Mom, what about my secret? Do I have to keep it from Sakura-chan?”

“Yes. There's no way around it. When she loves someone, she tends to take risks and say things that gets her into trouble.”

Kushina moaned, “You're not saying that you think she loves me again, are you? With my luck, she'll punish me for your implication. That would be how my luck would go.”

As if on cue, Shizune appeared at the doorway. She announced, “Sakura is here.” The young blond almost fell out of her chair from shock.

Shizune led Sakura to one of the chairs opposite Kushina and bowed, “Will this do, Sakura-san?”

“Yes, thanks.” Sakura replied and then bowed to Tsunade, “Thank you for inviting me, Tsunade-sama.” Her face fell to an icy glare towards Kushina, “I see now who you wanted me to meet.”

“Well, yes. This is my daughter, Senju Kushina. Please take care of her.” Tsunade said, gesturing towards the beautiful blond girl.

“Hello Kushina-san. My name is Haruno Sakura.” Sakura bowed to Kushina politely and sat down. An awkward silence filled the room.

Tsunade broke the silence. “Sakura-chan, I am sorry for not telling you sooner about my daughter.”

Sakura harrumphed and said, “I was too polite to say anything.”

Tsunade confessed, “I am a little embarrassed by the circumstances surrounding my daughter, Sakura-chan. My family has a very long tradition of honor. As you know, I never married, and having a child out of marriage would have brought shame to the Senju name. I decided recently that with no more direct survivors in the clan, I could make my own decisions.”

Sakura argued, “So now that you're Hokage, you can escape your family's scorn. Why didn't you marry the father?”

Tsunade looked away then replied, “He died.”

Sakura blanched, “You mean the father is ...”

Tsunade nodded. “Dan.”

Kushina asked, “My father's was Dan?”

Tsunade nodded and placed her hand on hers. “He died before I gave birth to you. I left the Hidden Leaf and traveled from town to town. I made ends meet by gambling. When your father died, I was so grieved that I tried to lose myself in it. I neglected you.”

Sakura grabbed some food and started to eat it. Kushina was enjoying the fictional tale of her young life. Sakura swallowed her food and then asked, “So how did you end up separating from her?”

“I had a place that I sort of lived in from time to time. I had gotten to know a nice couple who were trying to have a child. I told them that I wanted to straighten myself up so that I could be a fit mother for her. That was just before Naruto and Jiraiya ran into me and we had the big fight with Orochimaru.

“When I decided to become Hokage, I saw it as an opportunity to make things right with my daughter. I didn't want her getting involved with the political and infrastructural problems Konoha was having right after the attack. Waiting until she had become an adult, I asked her to come live with me again and try to start over here.”

Kushina had been sitting uncomfortably throughout the lies to Sakura. She hated lying with a passion.

“Why didn't you tell me any of this in the past few years?” Sakura asked quietly. “Don't you think I would have supported you?”

“I still struggle with trust” Tsunade replied sadly, “After seeing one of my closest friends turn evil.”

Sakura rubbed her temples, “Alright, I can understand that, but still... have I started to turn evil?”

“No, Sakura-chan.” Tsunade admitted.

“Then why are you treating me this way?”

“Let's just drop it, Sakura. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. This is the first time I've gotten to eat with my daughter in 5 years.”

Sakura bowed apologetically, “I'm sorry, Tsunade-sensei. I just have one more question for your daughter.”

Kushina looked up innocently at Sakura.

“Forgive me for being blunt, Kushina-san,” Sakura said with a glint of anger in her eye, “but what is Naruto to you?”

Kushina's eyes steered away from Sakura's gaze. “I am nothing to him. I'm just someone he was supposed to protect. Are you trying to find out why I was in his apartment?”

“She needed a safe place to stay while I got her room ready in the mansion.”

She spit angrily, “Why did you let her use Naruto's apartment?”

Tsunade's replied flatly, “I didn't.”

Kushina angrily interjected, “Naruto gave me permission.”

Sakura glared at Kushina. She wasn't going to get anywhere with two people against her at once. She decided she needed to formulate a strategy to get the truth.

Shizune came in the doorway and yelled, “Pardon my intrusion!” She brought in trays of food and laid them on the table. She caught the mood in the room and decided to make her exit.

Kushina started grabbing food like a starved praying mantis. Sakura guffawed. Tsunade grabbed Kushina's hand with her chopsticks and said, “Kushina, your manners.” Sakura thought it was strange for such a pretty girl to have such bad table manners.

“I'm sorry, mom.”

The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a dull kunai. Tsunade grabbed some steamed pork buns and some sushi with eel sauce. The rest of them ate and didn't speak much for the rest of the evening.

After Shizune cleared the table, Tsunade announced that it was late and bid her goodbye to Sakura.

“Sakura, I'll reserve a special place at the funeral for you. I know that you were close to Naruto before he died.”

Kushina offered, “I'd like to go to his funeral too.”

“What difference does his death mean to you anyway?” Sakura sneered, “You said you hardly knew him. If this is going to be a special service for family and team members, then I object.”

Kushina looked Sakura square in the eye and said, “Let's just say without him, I wouldn't be here.”

Tsunade walked in between the two women and said crossly, “Naruto may not have known Kushina long, but he did make an impact on her. If neither of you can get along, then I'm going to ask that both of you come to the public ceremony instead.”

Sakura fumed then forced herself to remain calm. She didn't want to mess up her chance to say goodbye to her love, Naruto. “Okay, I'll get along with her. My apologies, Tsunade-sama.”

Kushina gritted her teeth into a tenuous smile. “I'll do the same, mom.”

“I'm worn out. It's late. Let's all go.” Tsunade said. She was weary of the conflicts between the girls. At least they were talking to each other. She walked off and said, “Shizune will show you to your new room, Ku-chan. Good night.”

Shizune handed Sakura her jacket and said, “Safe journey, Sakura-san.”

“Wait, Sakura.” Kushina started to say.

The pink haired girl turned around and asked, “What?”

“I'm really sorry for not being the person you were looking for that night.”

Sakura felt her sincerity but didn't have a response and didn't understand the context. She was cranky and tired and still grieving. “I'm going to go home now.”

The blond haired beauty was sad about Sakura's coldness, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. Shizune said, “Come with me, Ku-chan. I'll show you to your room.”

Shizune led Kushina to a huge room with ornate carvings on the wall with gold inlay. Everything was ornate and full of artistic depth. The carpet depicted (ironically) the great battle between the Yondaime Hokage and the Kyuubi. Kushina cringed at seeing the demon. She just knew her mother was getting her back for all of the times she insulted her or something to that effect.

She walked over to the bed and plopped onto it. Shizune asked, “Is there anything else you need before I go to bed?”

“No, thank you, Shizune-chan.” Kushina smiled. Shizune excused herself and left. She didn't know what to think about tomorrow's funeral. She chuckled as she wondered how many people attend their own.

She stripped down and slid open some drawers and found a nightie that fit her. Apparently her mother had made sure of many details. She turned off the lights and noticed moonlight coming into her room. The night sky was clear except for a few scattered clouds. She felt awe as she studied the moon. She never felt so happy seeing it before. She wondered to herself if even this simple pleasure was enhanced by her new mind. She dismissed the thought. Her eyes lowered to the grounds outside. She saw Sakura leaving. Kushina wished Sakura still cared about her, but at the same time was glad to be free of her violent temper. She watched the pink haired girl walk further but was approached by a young man.

Kushina squinted. It was Konohamaru! She wondered what he was still there for.