The Princess and the Plague : 5

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The Princess and the Plague
(Life after Camp Kumoni)

By Anistasia Allread
Edited by Nick B

Flashbacks of the lake at camp erupted before his eyes as water enveloped his head and torso. He flailed about and came up sputtering.

     

duckling.jpg

“Come on Eric, you’ve been sleeping all day.” His mother banged on his door. “Don’t make me sing the song.”

“I’m getting up.” Eric complained.

“If you aren’t up by the time I come back, I will sing the song,” she threatened. “Come on, we need to go run some errands, including getting your dad a birthday present.”

“Can’t we just get him a gift certificate for the sporting goods store like we did the last two years? He seems to like it.”

“Three years is too many times to pull that stunt. We need to come up with something good. We also need to find you a jacket for school.”

Eric pulled the covers back over his head. “Argh!”

“I’ll sing…” Mrs. Martin warned as she left.

Eric stretched and tossed back the covers. He trudged to his shower and sighed as the hot water poured over his body. He took his razor and shaved his face, then began shaving his legs before he realized what he was doing. He shrugged at his absentmindedness and finished getting rid of his body hair.

He pulled on some ‘skinny’ jeans and a ‘Panic at the Disco’ shirt before pulling on his black Converse. “Mom? How long until we are leaving?” he called out.

“Twenty minutes.”

Eric typed his password into his computer and jumped online. He went to his email account and was pleased to see that he had received email from some of Erika’s camp friends.


Hey Erika,

How’s it going girlfriend? Or is it just friend, now? I hope things are going well for you at home. Have you convinced your parents that you are better as a girl? I just wanted to thank you again for helping to hook Derek and I up. We went on a date the other day. It was wonderful. He is such a sweet guy. My parents met him and think he is just as wonderful as I do. Thank you for so much.

Let me know what’s going on with you and the other Columbine girls.

Dani


Eric thought he has missed Dani, but until this, he didn’t realize just how much he had missed her. He went on to another.


Hey Eric, or whatever you’re calling yourself now,

Just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that I arrived home safely. Two guys on the bus weren’t so lucky. They were picking on one of the girls at camp, so I taught them to pick on someone their own size and then taught them that they didn’t know the meaning of pick. lol.

Dad had to go off again on another trip. He left me a credit card though, so I’m going school shopping. ; )

I know that we have had our differences this summer, but I just wanted you to know that I’m glad you were in my cabin. I’m going to miss all of you

Keep me up to date on how Krystal is doing with her exercise and dieting.

Rachel


Eric smiled to himself. Rachel was tough, but she had a heart that once softened was as loyal as any he had ever known. He then came across another email that had an address that he didn’t recognize.


Dear Erika,

I hope you don’t mind me emailing you. I’ve been writing a lot on my novel, thanks a bunch to you. You have no idea how wonderful it is having a sketch of my characters near my computer to glance at. You are such a gifted artist I can almost see the glimmer of my character’s soul through their eyes. I have written five chapters since I’ve been home. I’ve been writing so much my mother thinks I’m depressed and suicidal. I have had to force myself to go for a walk outside, just to make her happy.

I really enjoyed meeting you at camp. Too bad we don’t live closer together, I’d like to have had more time with such a wonderful girl such as you. I miss our long sessions together as I talked, and you sketched. I miss the way the sun light coming through the window made your hair shine, or the way that you bit your bottom lip in concentration as you drew. I just hope that my family will make a couple of trips to your area. Maybe we could meet up. I hope you wouldn’t mind.
Well, I hope this letter doesn’t make me sound like a stalker. ; )

Take care and write back please,

Matt


“Whoa,’ Eric thought as he finished reading the last email.

“Are you ready? Let’s go.” Mrs. Martin stood in Eric’s doorway, “Do something with that mop of yours and meet me in the car.”

“Fine,” Eric sighed. “I’ll be down in a minute,” He logged off and went into his bathroom. Eric wet down his long hair and combed it all down from the top of his head then pushed his long bangs off to the side and looked in the mirror.

“I need mascara,” he told his reflection. He paused for a moment to think then threw open the cabinet door, pulled the mascara out from inside the towel and deftly applied a layer to his upper eye lashes. He put the bottle back in its hiding spot and looked in the mirror. It didn’t look too obvious, he had dark eyelashes to begin with–the mascara just kicked them up a notch but something about that act, that touch of feminism felt right.

“Maybe we should get your hair cut while we are out today,” his mom suggested as he got into the car and buckled up.

A panic shot through his body, turning his blood to ice. “Not yet,” he tried to sound nonchalant, “I kind of like my hair long. It’s how a lot of guys are wearing it today.”

“What guys?” Mrs. Martin pulled out of the driveway.

“You know, the skaters, the emos, even some of the jocks are wearing their hair long.”

Mrs. Martin rolled her eyes and drove to the mall.

“What are we getting dad this year?” he asked.

“I’m not sure, that’s why we are going to the mall. He is hard to buy gifts for.”

Eric’s mom parked the car and they entered the mall.

Eric was slightly surprised at how busy the mall was. It seemed like everyone was out in force, buying clothes for school. But then, he only went to the mall when dragged by his mother.

“Let’s try and stay away from sporting goods this year,” Mrs. Martin suggested.

“Good luck with that,” Eric said sarcastically.

They walked slowly through the mall, looking at each of the stores, trying to decide of any of them were worth entering on their mission for the birthday gift.

“Let’s try this one.” Eric’s mom steered him to a store entrance.

Something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, “Go on in, mom, I’ll join you in a sec. I want to check something out.”

His mom looked at him then around the mall. “You kids and your video games,” she sighed.

Eric blinked then smiled sheepishly.

“Don’t be too long.”

“Yes mom.” Eric started over to the video game store. He turned halfway there and checked on his mom. She was already engrossed in her search. He changed directions and went to the store he actually had in mind. He went to the display and picked up a display model of a pair of flats. “These are cute,” he muttered to himself, “They’ll go good with my khaki capris, and two of my skirts.”

“May I help you?” a voice asked.

Eric almost dropped the shoe when he heard the voice, “Umm, what other colors do you have these in? My girlfriend said that she has been looking for a pair of flats like these,” he asked, adding the ‘girlfriend’ part to make it look as though it wasn’t actually him that wanted them.

“Those come in black, white, red, silver and gold,” the salesperson offered smiling.

Eric turned the shoe over and found the price, “Thank you.” He tried not to flush and retreated quickly to the mall. He glanced over at the store his mom was in and could see the back of her head towards the back. He quickly crossed to the video game store and started looking at the video games.

“Hey, look, Its ‘The Plague,’” a voice laughed.

“Crap!” Eric muttered. He picked up another game box and tried to ignore the baiting.

“Hey Plague boy, aren’t you supposed to warn the public when you leave the leper colony?” the voice continued.

Eric tried to ignore the taunt.

Something hit him on the back of his head. “Hey Plague, I’m talking to you.” Another object caught him on the back of the neck. Eric blinked hard trying not to flinch as the game box landed on the floor next to him.

“They’ll let anyone breed,” he muttered.

Another box hit him harder. Eric spun and glared at Tyler. He put the game back on the shelf and walked out of the store.

“Bye Plague. Can’t wait to see you at school,” the jock snickered.

Eric’s fingernails dug into his palms as he stormed across the corridor to the store that his mother was in. He took a few deep breaths and calmed himself down. “Find anything?” he asked his mother hoping that she didn’t hear the stress in his voice.

“Not anything that he needs or has to have.” She frowned. “Let’s try another store.”

They walked out of the store and started down the mall again. Eric glanced around trying to locate the bully but couldn’t find him.

His mom led him into a department store. “Let’s see if they have a jacket for you in here.”

They walked to the winter department and began picking through the coats.

“Stay less than one hundred and fifty.” His mother instructed.

Eric moved to another rack of jackets. He pulled out his cell and text Samantha.

Mom and I are shopping 4 jackets. What color? What style?

He tucked his cell back and pulled out a black one that he liked. His phone buzzed.

White is best, Black, blue, will work. Most any style. Long wool pea coat good 4 skirts.

He glanced around the racks but didn’t find any white jackets. He found a bright blue one with black trim and added it to the one he had. His phone buzzed again.

Have fun bonding with mom

Be more fun with U ;) he texted back.

Miss U 2 she texted.

He texted her another message. Found flats 4 $35 at Shoe Barn, lots of colors. Check them out.

Thx. I will tomorrow

“Find anything?” Eric’s mother asked.

“These two,” Eric held up his find, “Did you see any white jackets?”

“White?” Mrs. Martin looked puzzled, “White is for girls, Eric.”

“Oh.” Eric shrugged. “just thought it would look good with all my black.”

His mother held out four items for him to try on. Eric took them to a mirror and tried one on after another.

“I like this one,” he said turning to see himself in the mirror. He wondered how it would look with his girlish curves as well as with his skirts.

“I thought you might,” his mother smiled.

Eric took the jacket off and handed it to his mom. “I think this one is the keeper.”

The mother and son walked out of the department store with a bulky bag in hand.

“Are you getting hungry?” she asked.

“Yes, I didn’t eat breakfast.”

“Let’s get something to eat.” His mother led them to the food court and looked around. “What do you fancy?” she asked.

“I think I’m in the mood for a taco salad.”

As they ate their lunch, Eric caught sight of Tyler across the food court. The Jock was with two other friends and a girlfriend. They were all looking his way, laughing. Eric felt his face flush with embarrassment but tried to ignore them the rest of his meal.

“I think I want to check out the Things Remembered store,” his mom decided.

The two walked down the mall to the store.

“I’m going to sit out here, if that is okay.” Eric told his mom. She took a long look at him then nodded before entering the store.

Eric sat down on the edge of one of the water fountains and set his drink next to him. He thought about what he and Tricia were planning for the coming day. Samantha was going to pick him up at the time he would be leaving for school, take him to Tricia’s and have him change. They were going to time everything to see how much time it was going to take so that they could plan for it once school started next week.

Eric’s vision went black as something big pushed into him. Flashbacks of the lake at camp erupted before his eyes as water enveloped his head and torso. He flailed about and came up sputtering. He wiped water from his face and looked around. He found himself sitting in the water fountain, soaked from head to toe as people all around him laughed aloud.

Kids with their parents snickered and pointed as mothers with smiles on their faces tried to redirect their kids. Old ladies hid their mouths with their hands as their eyes sparkled in mirth. Over it all, Eric heard Tyler and his friends standing off to one side of the mall corridor laughing. He and two others had their phones out and were snapping pictures of the prank they had just engineered. They put up their phones and ran off down the mall, their laughter echoing like evil clowns from a horror movie.

Eric’s mom came out of the store and looked around to see what the commotion was about. She ran over to Eric, “Are you all right? What happened?”

“Some kids from school pulling a prank.” Eric closed his eyes in embarrassment.

“I’ll call mall security.” His mother pulled out her phone.

“Don’t bother, mom, it will just make it worse.” Eric hauled himself out of the fountain and wrung water out of his T-shirt. “Just leave it be. I’ll wait in the car for you.” He picked up his bag and stormed out of the mall.

“Don’t let them see you cry,” he told himself. “Don’t let them see you cry.”

Once out of the mall, he sprinted out to his mother’s car. He pulled a throw blanket kept in the trunk for emergencies out and laid it on the passenger’s seat before sitting.

He bit his lip, trying to divert his emotional pain into physical pain. “Don’t let them see you cry…” It had become his mantra for the past year and a half.

Eric’s mother got into the car and glared at her son. She dug a small package of Kleenex out of her purse and tossed it at Eric.

“What’s this for?” he asked, still angry at having been the target of yet another prank.

“Look in the mirror, Eric.” She said quietly, purposely avoided looking at her son.

Eric flipped the sun visor down and looked into the mirror at the dark smudges running from around his eyes.

“What are you doing, wearing makeup, Eric?” she asked in a measured voice, “No wonder you were pushed into the fountain. You promised me that you leave the dresses and makeup at camp and here you are looking like a panda.” She revved the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. “I'm disappointed, Eric; very disappointed.”


To be continued…

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Comments

Wonderful, so now it is his

KristineRead's picture

Wonderful, so now it is his fault he gets picked on. Dr. Barts is going to have to read her the riot act pretty darn soon! Eric was stupid to put on the mascara, but it does not justify the way he is treated.

I still think the light at the end of the tunnel is a train, and he will probably not be allowed to go with Samantha tomorrow.

Uggh... Gotta wait another week, now.... Is it 2/3 yet?... how bout now.... oh well... ;)

Great job Anistasia...

Hugs,

Kristy

Tyler and his friends are all wet!!

Obviously a bad choice to put on mascara, but Erika wanted to.

Hello Anistasia!!! ^___^ ;-D

Nice to see some Email come in. It let's you know that someone cares about you. Thanks for another chapter. Yes, we are slowly building the crescendo to a big confrontation. Too bad mom did not see prank pulled off. That would be interesting to see the reactions. But, it would probably add to the misery at school that mom comes to the rescue. Something has to get their attention to stop this teasing. Hopefully Erika and her friends will find that and turn the tables back on them.

Have a wonderful week. Take care everyone. February is upon us and Valentines Day coming up. Sealed with lots of hugs!!

Rachel

"Obviously a bad choice to

"Obviously a bad choice to put on mascara, but Erika wanted to."

It is what one does, sneak a bit of makeup, wear pants because no one can see them under your clothes, or in the cold winter months with bulky sweaters, maybe even a bra. One does it because one needs to feel as they should be.

*sighs* I'd hoped...

That mom would have asked about the mascara... And eric could have said he liked it. Mom starting out adversarial with a teen... Specially a teen that's just been "dumped" on like that is not likely to get the best of results. *sighs*

Was hoping with the coat purchase for something better out of her. Oh well.

Didn't expect acceptance. Guess it's more important to talk to the doc ASAP... *sighs*

Thanks for the chapter.
Annette

Justifiable Homicide

Piper's picture

Hi Anastasia! I love this Story! But I HATE/LOATHE/DESPISE Erika's Mom!

She is just as bad as the theripist my parents took me to for a year that told me the reason I got picked on was because I let them.

Honest for real, I had a therapist tell me that it was my fault I was picked on.

I still to this day don't trust therapist/psychologists, and it's probably a main factor in why I am bipolar but haven't seen my shrink in, 2-3 years...

Your story continues to draw me in. The settings/circumstances and characters are so believable that I want to laugh with them, love with them, and cry with them... Right now tho I want to help Erika commit homicide on his Mom. I think under the circumstances no jury would convict. I honestly feel that Mom would have been part of the bully crowed in her HS days, and feels the bully's are right, because Eric/Erika DESERVES to be bullied.

-P/KAF/The one that wishes Dexter were around when you really need him.




"She was like a butterfly, full of color and vibrancy when she chose to open her wings, yet hardly visible when she closed them."
— Geraldine Brooks


I know what that therapist

Brooke Erickson's picture

I know what that therapist probably *meant*. But the phrasing he used sucks.

And yeah, for a lot of us the things that amount to "letting" ourselves get picked on are sufficiently basic that it's not *remotely* easy to change it.

*sigh*

Rather like the last time I tried a therapist. Just at the end of the first session, he suggested I read up on dealing with my problems with dealing with "social" stuff.

I was stunned and knew that wasn't gonna work. Due to various things I wound up never going back. But it took me until many months later to figure out *why* it wouldn't work.

For anything involving dealing with people or manipulating equipment, I need to by "talked thru" doing it myself. If you show me, it doesn't take. If you tell me about it, it doesn't take.

So "reading" about things the way he suggested wouldn't do a lick of good. Not for *me*. For other folks it might work fine. Heck, it might even work for me if it involved some other sort of skill...

Alas, people are different and sometimes even therapists don't get that .

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

Therapists sometimes can't see the forest for the trees.

Picked on? Because I let them? Yeah, I got that shit thrown at me by a psych when I was ten or eleven. At the time, I was not even four feet tall, probably lucky if I weighed 60 pounds soaking wet and had to deal with kids a heck of a lot bigger in school everyday.

Heck, that was still happening when I finished grade eight at fifteen years old just before the adoption fell apart. I'd gained a few inches in height, standing 4'6" at that point and weighed about 75 pounds. Every boy in my class was bigger, so were more than half of the girls.

If one has no knowledge of how to defend oneself, just how the heck is one supposed to stop this sort of shit from happening? I wasn't quite the 'plague' that Eric has been shown as at his school, but I had very few friends and spent most of my time on my own.

Heck, the last year or so I was in the adoptive family, I wasn't allowed out of my room except for school or to use the washroom.

It can be far too easy for a psych to reach the wrong conclusion or to assume that you let things happen when that wasn't the case. I last took meds for psych issues in September of '99 and I haven't seen a psych since a week or two before that. Good riddance, I say!

Yeah, I've had a few bad times since then, but thanks to people I was able to talk to each time, I was able to get past them. Heck, I think one of the biggest surprises I've ever had was discovering that I had a 'little' thanks to one specific emotional breakdown I had in '06.

The one that scared the heck out of me, though, happened just over a year ago now, involving flashbacks of my childhood. That is the ONLY time since September of '99 that I have ever talked with someone in a psych capacity, specifically a mental health counsellor.

I'm glad I did get a chance to talk to her, although her accent made it hard for me to understand her at times (I'm partially deaf, I'm not sure exactly how much hearing I've lost since the mid-90s, but it can make it difficult for me to understand people with strong accents). I was able to talk about what was bothering me from the night before and she helped me to return to a calmer emotional state.

I'm not sure that I would go so far as to wish for Erika to commit murder, but I'm not the angry person I was many years ago.

I'm rereading the whole saga to get back into knowing the characters due to the recent posting of two new chapters.

Stupid Clueless Mother!

jengrl's picture

Totally clueless mother. She gets a real glimpse into what is really going on with her child and makes it out that he is to blame. She needs to know that this crap has been going on longer than he has been dressing as Erika. Stupid and clueless mother! She should talk to Samantha some of the teachers and the principal. Is she going to blame her child if those scumbags put him/her in the hospital just for existing? Most likely!

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

She wont belive Samantha

Piper's picture

She wont belive Samantha because this is Samantha's fault remember. And I bet the school administrations, like most biggots in power, side with the bullies.

-P/KAF

-SiGhS- I re-read this and realized my issue is deep seated and this is just a story, so please don't flame me for it, I'm sorry if it offends someone. I do know there are many wonderful teachers and school administrators out there, even if I didn't experience many. However, as my response was honest, I wont NOT post it. -P/KAF




"She was like a butterfly, full of color and vibrancy when she chose to open her wings, yet hardly visible when she closed them."
— Geraldine Brooks


It breaks my heart...

...for poor Eric, to see Mom taking that attitude about it. The saddest part is she's convinced herself her child is the one with the problem, not the bullies, and not herself, who by excusing their behavior becomes no better than they are.

I can see Dr. Barts being sympathetic and supportive to Eric, while pointing out where he went astray by trying to sneak behind Mom's back with the mascara. At the same time I can see her trying to gently point out to Mom how her approach all but guarantees Eric will feel the need to sneak around behind her back. And I can see Mom being hypersensitive about, and having a really hard time accepting, even implied criticism of her parenting approach.

Looks like a recipe for fireworks to me.

I'm not TOTALLY

in agreement with the comments that Eric's mom is evil.

Several things. While mom SAID Eric may have brought it on himself, think about it... She's been told that Eric's a target for bullying. She's told Eric (and he agreed) that Erika wasn't comming home from camp. Then, Eric wears some mascara. She's disapointed there. Earlier, she could easily have meant that Eric's acting feminine triggered the bullying. Not that she condoned the bullying persay, but that his acting that way provided enough to get them to see him, and since he's different bully.

Do I wish the mom were more supportive? YES. Even, if not yet supportive of Erika... There is a difference. No matter how much a parent loves their child, it has to be a shock to find him/her dressing/acting/claiming to be the opposite sex from what they thought. Yes, the mom has had a few weeks to get used to the idea. But, while she found a shrink for Eric, she didn't find one for herself. (Some reasons for that later.)

As to the bullying. Mom knew about a FEW incidents at school before her visit to the camp, but most never got told her until that event. Even there, the real scope of the bullying really wasn't made clear. If the mom went to schools like the ones I did (where bullying was NOT tollerated, and what little happened, really was little) she really wouldn't believe that bullying to the extent that has happened to Eric was really happening. Add to that Eric really never shared the bullying with her (mostly because of the disbelief) but also because he probably got an early talking to by his dad - something like "lots of kids get picked at. Just pick back or ignore them and they'll leave you alone." When the bullying is mild, and major bullying not tollerated, that actually DOES seem to work. (Been there, done that, seen that.) So, while the schools in the area MAY be decent, academically, bullying is obviously condoned at that school, or at least ignored all but the most blatant. With this background, Eric's mother's assumption that Eric did things to cause him to be targeted, while not nice, is perhaps understandable. She does need to be educated.

A second point - that could contribute to his mom's attitude. (This is something I'd planned on putting into a story, and may still... It's happened to more than one person, and still happens today.) Perhaps Eric was born at least partially intersexed. Parents agree (or even are not informed, but for the purposes of the story agree) and make the decision that Eric is a boy (Father wants a son!). They "raise" HIM as such... Now, mom sees the girl comming out and feels guilty. But, can't bring herself to tell her SON that maybe his father and she made a mistake... Perhaps that will come. (BTW - This info had been planned on being in a story, and may still, but it fit the situation so well, I figured I should point it out.) But, mom feeling guilty for a LOT of years... Her very guilt could easily cause her to push back when Erika shows up. Does it excuse it? No. But it may explain it to some extent.

In any event, it's apparent that mom needs some professional help, as much as Eric/Erika needs it. They both need it, and need each other I think.

Well, enough of my speculation and such. Probably all totally off the mark and folks will tell me so.

Annette

"I can see Dr. Barts being

"I can see Dr. Barts being sympathetic and supportive to Eric, while pointing out where he went astray by trying to sneak behind Mom's back with the mascara."

If Dr. Barts is a gender counsellor, she already knew that Eric would do such things if he is transgendered. It is what one does, sneaking wearing pants because they can not be seen under one's clothes, maybe even a bra during the winter months when one is wearing bulky jumpers.

So Sad

terrynaut's picture

Eric can't win. He gets attacked by idiot classmates and his mother. It's not fair! *sigh*

I think Eric's mom needs therapy. I can't stay angry at her. I hope Dr. Barts can get through to her.

So enough of the sad parts. I like the emails from Erika's friends at camp. Matt's email is especially interesting. *giggle*

Thanks and please keep up the good work.

- Terry

Another Great Chapter

And, like everyone else, I hope Erika's mom gets clue sometime soon.

And Precisely How...

...would Eric's mother calling security make things worse? Not that it would have helped matters -- nobody could prove anything -- but it would allow Eric's mother to think she was contributing positively to the situation, instead of taking it as another rebuff from her son. Certainly, involving one's mother or the authorities is contrary to "the code", punishable by...well, by the same stuff they're doing to Eric now.

Which isn't to say that I would have expected Eric to react differently than he did. I've just never been able to comfortably read about this sort of abuse, and felt the need to say SOMETHING.

(And now back to your regularly scheduled programming...)

Eric

Calling Security violates

Brooke Erickson's picture

Calling Security violates the "code of silence" that exists in any school. "You don't take problems with another student to the teachers, that's 'cheating'". And it makes the bullies feel that you are being unfair to them. Really.

Unless you have proof sufficient for an arrest for assault or something equally drastic, you'll be seen as the "bad guy".

Been there, done that. I got mad enough to report someone when while walking with a friend to his home, a bully sprayed me in the face with tear gas (it was the late 60s, no mace yet).

My friend tried to talk me out of it, but I went back to the school and reported the bully by name. At least my friend was willing to corroborate my story.

*I* got suspended for a few days. Not sure what happened to the bully other than suspension and the cops getting involved.

As my friend had been worried about, I got ostracised for involving the school in a "student" matter. But as I told him at the time. "Gee, they won't talk to me and they'll avoid me. This is bad?"

With the sort of bullying Erik has been getting, he's more likely to get *really* beaten up or some such. And likely under circumstances where he can't ID anybody, but the guys he "ratted out" have an alibi.

oh yeah, several years later I ran into said bully again. He didn't go after me but he did tell me he was mad at me for getting him banned from the drugstore he'd shoplifted the tear gas pen from.

To give you an insight into the way that sort of person's mind works, I have to tell you that he was *stunned* when I pointed out that his getting banned wasn't my fault. It was his fault for having shoplifted.

See, we victims aren't supposed to fight back. Especially not by going to the school or the cops. Only if we can *physically* best the bullies will our victory be legitimate in their minds (and even then they may ascribe it to some "trick")

so any bad things that happen to them because we didn't "fight fair" are obviously *our* fault for breaking the rules, rather than their fault, because *they* didn't do anything "wrong".

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

Not Much Disagreement...

...with your POV here. I just wonder if Eric might almost prefer the prospect of a straightforward assault to the constant and apparently unceasing public humiliation he's getting now. Or welcome, in a way, getting attacked for what he did (if he tells) instead of for what he is. Not necessarily the most rational of decisions, but one that I can identify with.

(Me, I started crying just from verbal bullying, so the middle-class white kids I grew up around never felt the need to take it any further, having "proved" their superiority. By the time I reached junior high and there was a more diverse and potentially dangerous crowd getting bussed in from across town, nobody really bothered with me any more (fortunately for me, since I never did develop any defense other than standing there and taking it).

Eric

Re: Not Much Disagreement...

Brooke nailed it dead on the mark. Tattling almost always brings even worse attacks.

If Eric had 'ratted' them out, what would prevent friends of the ones that were ratted out from putting Eric in hospital with major injuries, broken arm, leg, ribs, jaw, etc., etc., etc? Or even worse, actually hurting him so badly that he died from the injuries?

Sometimes it just appears to make more sense for the victim to let it go in order to prevent even worse from happening.

There are times that we literally enable violence by not standing up for ourselves or not finding ways to prevent it.

Perhaps If Eric

Was to go ATOMIC or POSTAL on the lame-brained jocks, they'd stop "PLAGIING" him. And why don't the teachers do something?
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Actually, at this point...

Such a reaction would be counterproductive Stan. PERHAPS, had he pushed back, when the stuff first started... And had friends to support him. (Both required)... He might have avoided things. However, at this point. Even though many kids are aware of all the bullying events, the authorities, in all likelihood really are not. Should Eric go postal, he would be incarcerated as dangerous to have around... Think about what happened at Columbine High School. The kids that perpertrated that were "marginalized". They were also condimed for the action. While, I don't believe that Eric would "pull a columbine" (character described doesn't fit) no matter what his "perceived" reasons, authorities would NOT consider it justified.

So, I believe that were Eric to "go postal" he (and some readers) might well derrive some short term pleasure from seeing the bullies get there come upance in a dramatic manner, in the long term, it would be detrimental to Eric and probably to his friends as well.

Some OTHER way needs to be found to "correct" the bullying... One that does NOT destroy Eric in the process.

I do look forward to seeing how AA resolves the issues, whether for the good (I hope) or the bad (as is possible).

Annette

I Can't Believe

joannebarbarella's picture

That all the bystanders would just laugh when somebody is pushed into a fountain. Are Americans so heartless?
Joanne

Are Americans so heartless?

In general? No. In isolated cases, they can sometimes appear that way. As the story was presented, even Eric didn't SEE his tormenters push him into the water. If nobody else saw it happen, they'd likely assume it was an accident, and several would come up to help. If some adults saw the event, and the small number of kids involved, they would likely have interveined. (Well, men anyway, and some moms) The only circumstances I can see where they might have laughed, was if they "assumed" that the kids were all friends and pulled a stunt. Though even here, they would all have been taken to task. (Apparently I go to the wrong (or maybe right?) malls, if this isn't the case everywhere). If it was obvious that a bunch of the teens were a "gang", I can see people moving away from the event... Getting targeted by one (a gang) is a dangerous thing. Even when gang members are caught and arested, and brought to trial... It's not unheard of for the jury to be "tainted" by families of jurors being threatened. But, this doesn't lead to laughter at the expense.

So, the crowd laughing at the expense of the boy in the fountain? I had a bit of an issue with that - even though you see it in movies and such. Now, if there'd been a movie camera in view... Then, I could believe it... Bystanders would ASSUME it was filming for a movie of some sort.

Annette

It's for the plot.

While some of the more thugish groups of school kids can be that nasty (and worse). Such a thing in public place among adults is not realistic. Not only would they not laugh, they would help the poor kid and likely call for help.
----------
Jenna
http://www.myspace.com/alpheias

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Jenna

Not realistic?

The link below shows that adult Americans don't stop and help.

The likelihood that they would do anything other than laugh at Eric in that mall is I think, completely realistic.

You may think that your fellow countrymen would rush to someone's aid, which you would think anyone would do, however as the link below will show--not accurate.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=w4aYbC4zVhA

The man in this video was paralysed and well, see for yourselves what help he received from the adults around him.

Huh?

First off, it's one incident, hardly enough to generally condemn a country's citizens as unfeeling. That's why there are statistics. Americans as individuals, are among the most generous in the world. Secondly, the video is only a minute long and there were plenty of people around him in the middle of the street at the end. It's very likely that there were people calling 911. Thirdly, some people have become reticent about assisting victims in exactly these circumstances, when they are likely to have a broken back. Few feel competent in that situation to know what to do. Fourthly, there's the shock factor: a man in their midst is struck by a car without warning. Fifthly, there is no parallel to the fictional incident in the story. A hit and run is not an unharmed wet boy in a fountain.

Here's the bottom line: if the author wants to have the people around him smile and hide their amusement while he is sitting in a fountain, that's fine. Personally, I didn't have a problem with the scene. I took it that the adults around him didn't know what happened, and a boy in a fountain is hardly in danger, only wet. "Helping" him out could have conceivably compounded his unease, so I didn't hold that against them. While I think old ladies twinkling in amusement might be half a hair over the top, it is possible, and generates a memorable scene.

A comment was made that the scene seemed unrealistic, that American adults would be unlikely to stand around and do nothing. Here's where I stand on the matter: except for personal fantasies, if the author wants to make a good story, he must try to maintain a measure of realism, a suspension of disbelief. If the author does not succeed, then I think it's valid for a reader to say that she didn't quite accept this or that. It's not an attack, it's valid commentary, a response that the author is free to take or leave as he desires. In general, one or two comments saying the same thing may safely be ignored, more than that and it a sign that the author's intentions may not have been carried out as well as he or she thought.

Aardvark

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

Teens and adults

Please forgive my perhaps unfair use of that video as an example. In the news item I read that originally accompanied the video, the American press condemned the lack of assistance afforded to the old gentleman, but you're right, Eric in the fountain was not the same.

In this country, it is not uncommon for adults to keep well out of the way of teens as they have a tendency to be unpredictable, especially mob-handed as Eric's attackers seemed to be. It has been known for said gang (however small in number) to turn on the adults and with the British system as it stands, it appears that the teens can get away with their antics, whilst the offended adults are virtually powerless to do anything.

I have had my front window in my house smashed by a group of teens--most of whom were obviously drunk and despite involving the police, got no recompense. Both myself, my other half and a friend saw the incident and yet, because these teens were not yet eighteen, we could do nothing.

Perhaps England and the States are not the same, but from what I have seen of the USA in documentaries and what I have seen in cities over here, the usual response is that no-one wants to get involved--however petty the incident may be.

It's a sad state of affairs, but relying on the kindness of strangers is I fear, a waste of time.

It may be fiction, but the 1987 film, Fatal Beauty (Whoopi Goldberg) has a scene in a bar where a man beats on a woman and no-one pays the least bit of attention, the bartender even going so far as to say that he was "minding his own business".

That's twenty-two years ago and if this country is anything to go by, I can only see that as being the norm and not the exception these days--as saddening as it may be to admit.

Please don't think that I am getting at you for your comment--it was a good point well made, but I do feel that sometimes people can be blinkered to reality. Those that have made reference to the incident in the fountain, may not have had the misfortune of witnessing something of that nature--i.e., teens in a mob--and may well think they would come forward to help, but I feel it would be a mistake to do so.

In most "have-a-go" instances, the helper has wound up in more trouble than those they were attempting to help in the first place and I have seen more and more that people are now more inclined to keep themselves to themselves, rather than interfering and risking escalation of the situation.

The psychology of crowds

In the early 1960s all of America was shocked and appalled by an incident in New York wherein a young woman was killed (beaten to death, I think) in the courtyard of an apartment building, in spite of a large number of residents of the building hearing her screams and pleas for help. It apparently was protracted enough that her death could have been prevented if a single person had bothered to call the police. The media decried it as evidence of the callousness of New Yorkers and the rest of the country were able to relax, secure in the belief that such an atrocity couldn't happen where they lived.

They were wrong.

It turns out that the more people witness such an incident, and are aware of each other, the less likely any one person is to take any responsibility such as alerting the authorities; "surely if that many people saw it, somebody must have already called the police, so I'd only be bothering them unnecessarily" is a typical reaction. In fact the investigation into the above incident concluded that each and every witness, though appalled and concerned, assumed one of the other witnesses must surely have called the police about it.

Some U.S. jurisdictions now actually have Good Samaritan laws making it illegal to stand by and do nothing when witnessing a crime, as portrayed in the final episode of Seinfeld.

As for the fountain scene--I too felt the twinkling old lady was a touch over the top, giving the incident (as related from Eric's intimate point of view) a bit of a surreal, Tim Burton-esque exaggerated feel. I interpreted it not as a faithful description of reality, but as Eric's distorted fish-eye-lens perception of reality after having endured so much suffering and abuse.

Unfortunately true

Yeah, I see the trend, too. Part of it is we are more anonymous nowadays, less of a community than a series of tiny castles. If people have no history of one-on-one involvement, then there is less impulse to take a risk and do the right thing. This is my personal opinion, but I also think that as the government gets more intrusive, people are more inclined to "let the police handle it" where there the appropriate agency will presumably be contacted. As as person becomes more and more a cogs in the machine, they tend to act that way.

Aardvark

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

Personal experience

erin's picture

My own anecdotal evidence is quite the reverse. I've never failed to see quick intervention and co-operation among people in emergency situations. Whether it was a child falling from a bicycle into traffic, a sudden flare of a trash fire, a very public and dangerous seizure, or an overturned vehicle, bystanding strangers immediately responded and co-operated to deal with the situation.

The opposite experience is, I believe, still rare; perhaps as rare as it ever has been. It is remarked on mostly because it is remarkable. The general case is and always has been that people are willing to help, even at the risk of great personal harm. I don't really see any evidence that this is not true on the whole and in the main.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Actually bystanders doing

Brooke Erickson's picture

Actually bystanders doing nothing is not uncommon.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitty_Genovese has a nice bit about diffusion of responsibility and the like.

And as someone else noted, getting involved with underage kids, even late teens is avoided out of fear sometimes.

Add in that besides the fear of the teens turning on you, going to the aid of the victim of a "harmless prank" that you might get branded as a pervert.

Yes, trying to help a kid, even a teen, that you aren't related to or the coach/teacher/etc of *has* resulted in accusations. And it takes very few such cases being publicized to scare folks into deciding it's best to stay out of it.

His mom seems to have gotten to him fairly fast as well, which would probably increase the likelyhoo d of bystanders deciding *not* to help.

The laughter is a bit much. Then again Erik's perceptions might not be entirely accurate at the time.

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

The Fountain Prank

I have just gotten to a computer and was blown away by the responses to the latest chapter of the story.

For those who say that this prank couldn't happen, go look on YouTube. There is a video of a teen boy shoving a girl into a mall fountain. this video was my inspiration for that particular scene. I'll keep the rest of my thoughts to myself ;)

Thank you all for reading, and commenting

A.A.

Living on the street

In reality, there are girls like her who go to live on the street. I have been fortunate not to have to do that. Poor kid.

Wow

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

Hi Ani,

Well, if generating controversy is a sign of a great story, you've certainly succeeded. I will try not to be controversial with my comment. In my opinion, you and you alone decide how the story should and does unfold.

I have great sympathy for Erica/Eric. Some of the situations you have written her/him into are dire indeed. The resolution of the nasty situations has made fun reading. I eagerly await the next episode.

Thank you for posting.

with love,

Hope

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

On the subject of bullying

Such bullying in the school system is a big problem. In the school system, the students far outnumber the few instructors and it is often hard to prove the bullying is occurring. Many students won't come forward, one does not want to be ostracised, or are afraid of becoming targets as well. It is time that schools put in a strong policy against bullying and enforce that policy. Cameras should cover every corner of hallways, and every classroom should have a camera. In fact, there should be no area of the campus where acts of bullying can go unnoticed.

For Eric/Erika to be a target outside the school in a crowded mall speaks volumes of how these bullies feel they can not be reached. I would be surprised if someone in the mall did not see the unprovoked attacked. Should Eric/Erika and her friends strike back at these bullies? Yes, if they can do so without harm. However, the bullies need to understand what happens to them is because they are bullies. Even if Erika goes to school and is no longer a target, the bullies will move to a new target. Let's see a bit of Tuck and his friends in Erika and her friends going after these bullies.

alas, given that the courts

Brooke Erickson's picture

alas, given that the courts have ruled that sort of camera coverage is a violation of the right to privacy in *prisons*, even when the purpose was to identify attackers, the odds of it being legal in schools are low.

Besides the bathrooms and locker rooms are places you *can't* get authority to place that sort of camera in, and they are *prime* locations for bullying.

It'd also cost lots of money to install and to keep running in a useful manner. Money the schools can find "better" uses for.

Besides, as has been seen in the aftermath of various school shootings and the attempts to introduce anti-bullying policies, in many places the school administrations believe the problem isn't bullying, it's that the kids being bullied aren't acting like everyone else.

Yes, they feel that it's the fault of the victims for being "different" instead of behaving the way they are "supposed to".

Until we can root out *that* attitude, we are going to have bullying and worse.

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

CCTV Cameras in School Toilets

Last week, there was a news item on the radio here in UK on the subject of CCTV cameras being installed in the pupils' toilets—both boys’ and girls’—in a considerable number of UK schools. It has brought vociferous protests from pupils (students) and their parents about invasion of privacy and the like, and even some accusations of Peeping Tom-ery! The school authorities (departments of local government) reply that they are only trying to stop the grafiti artists and identify them. Hmmmm.

To me this reeks too much of Big Brother is Watching You à la 1984

Gabi

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Victims

Puddintane's picture

One can hardly blame Eric for not "standing up" to his attackers, either through fighting back, or through "telling tales." He's never been aggressive enough to do the first, nor willing to break the "manly code," undoubtedly thumped into him by both father and mother, by "acting like a girl" through becoming a "fink."

He's damned if he does, and damned if he doesn't, albeit for different reasons, and stuck firmly on the horns of a dilemma, which the author has been rather careful to show in its existential inevitability and to delineate the depths of Eric's existential despair.

He doesn't "fit in" with either mandatory gender as a boy, doesn't "have it in him" to do so, but is unexceptional, perhaps even popular and well-liked, by those flexible enough to see him as a girl.

He seems to be an only child, for whatever reason, and it's not just Asian cultures who place great emphasis on a male heir to "carry on the family name." Both his father and his mother are quite likely to see it as a tragedy of major proportions for the father's line to go extinct, his hopes for his *son* dashed by cruel circumstance.

These are the sorts of things that destroy marriages, and Eric's mother may be well aware of that, since she's much more familiar with the man than any of the readers. She may feel trapped as well. We note that her response to the mascara incident is measured, and she remains calm, which sounds to me at least like she herself is being coerced in some way, whether by fears for her marriage or threats to Eric. We know, for example, that she conspires to keep his cross-dressing secret.

What we do know is that Eric's father is not an important presence in his life, except as a threat, which rather places him on the side of the bullies at school.

If you stand back and squint your eyes a bit, you can see Eric fitting rather well into the stereotypical "battered woman" role, a cycle of violence in which the victim learns that she is helpless to change her circumstances -- explicitly expressed by Eric as "they'll kill me" -- and descends into a state of depression and psychological paralysis. This is exacerbated by the fact that much of society regards the woman (read female) as being responsible for social consequences, and like the abuser himself (or themselves) regards her as at least sharing responsibility for her circumstances.

So Eric goes through this endless cycle, trying to "cure" the bullying through "behaving properly," being meek and inoffensive, constantly "walking on eggshells," only to have violence erupt around him, becoming the helpless victim all over again, and again, and again. Like Sisyphus, he struggles to perform his allotted task, only to have the prize roll away from him as soon as he seems almost to succeed.

His only success in life thus far has been as Erika, and his parents have a choice to make: dead (or badly damaged) Eric, or a recovering Erika.

Puddin'

P.S.

Battered Woman Syndrome

1. The woman believes that the violence was her fault.

2. The woman has an inability to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere.

3. The woman fears for her life and/or her children's lives.

4. The woman has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient.

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

Battered woman syndrome has

Brooke Erickson's picture

Battered woman syndrome has a lot in common with other sorts of abuse. Especially abusive parents (even the ones who have reasonably good intent, just really bad methods for trying to achieve their results).

A frequently heard refrain is that you'll just get laughed at if you complain that you are being abused (less true now than when I was growing up, but still quite plausible to a younger kid). Get that beaten into their skulls by repetition (or literally beaten in in some cases) and even when they get old enough to know better, it'll have been learned at an almost subconscious level.

This leads to telling them that going to the police or running away will just get them brought back home. With an unspoken implication that they'll *really* be in trouble then.

That's why I told a therapist when I was teen that I wanted out, but that if he wasn't 100% sure I could be gotten out without my mom finding out until I was guaranteed out of reach, he shouldn't even try. I did *not* want to be stuck in the house with her after failing at something like that.

I can see Erika's mom being somewhat like mine. Good intentions, but methods totally unsuited for the personality of the child she has.

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

Karma demands to be blanced

Seriously, the level of bullying that Eric has had to endure and still endures is sickening. The bigger tragedy is that it's quite easy to visualize that sort of thing happening in real life. Kids & teens can be and often are cruel to one another. That said, I hope that the author will include some future cathartic 'pay-back' for Eric against all those that have wronged him so grievously. Finding acceptance amongst his peers by becoming Erika and leaving it at that would still leave the issue of his barbaric treatment at the hands of the other students unresolved. Eric -- or Erika -- 'going postal' on the perpetrators wouldn't be the ideal solution, but at the very least it would be satisfying to see justice served in some fashion and the worst of the offenders be expelled at the very least in addition to facing criminal charges. Regardless of who Eric/Erika chooses to become, the message still needs to be clear: bullying is NOT acceptable. By turning such a blind eye to Eric's situation for so long, Eric's parents, the school system and the community in general have failed him and are almost as responsible for the abuse as those that torment him directly.

This is a *really* wonderful story and I eagerly look forward to reading each and every chapter. I hope that its message will continue to be a positive one.

"bullying is NOT acceptable.

"bullying is NOT acceptable. By turning such a blind eye to Eric's situation for so long, Eric's parents, the school system and the community in general have failed him and are almost as responsible for the abuse as those that torment him directly."

And yet this is exactly what happens in the real world on a day by day basis.

These Are The Things That Lead To Suicide In Young People

jengrl's picture

These incidents very often lead to suicide among young people. There comes a time where things keep building up until the victim lashes out or ends their own life. The only thing keeping Eric/Erika from becoming another Summer is the love of his/her best friends. It is a good thing that they are there. If Eric/Erika didn't have them, the results would be heartbreaking.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Been there, managed to avoid

Brooke Erickson's picture

Been there, managed to avoid that.

I told myself that if I was right and everybody hated me, then I'd be doing what they wanted if I tried. And if I was wrong and someone cared? I'd be hurting them terribly, with no way to make it up to them.

Scariest time in my life was in my late 20s when I encountered a reason why some folks commit suicide that was something I could identify with. People who've had a lot of "downs" in their life sometimes do it when things are going great. Because they feel that this is about as good as it's likely to get and they can't face the possibility of another "down" period.

That one had me and the one other member of an abuse survivors group I dared talk to about it sweating for a few days. Because it was *such* a seductive idea.

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

Emotions running off...

Funny how mom only noticed the mascara after it started running and not before. She seams like another parent more concerned with there own self and ignoring their child until they do something they do not like or are forced to pay attention to them.

Enjoying the story, Thank you...

Huggles,

Winnie

Huggles,

Winnie
Winnie_small.jpg

What is the song

What is the song that Mum threaten to sing to Erika? I did not understand if that was an expression, or she was going to actually sing a song.

I assume it is some gawd

KristineRead's picture

I assume it is some gawd awful earworm like, It's a small world, or some such thing that would be considered torture under the Geneva Conventions. ;)

And, here I was assuming...

that it could have been just about any song... Perhaps Eric's mom sings as well as I do. (It's been suggested that I need two buckets to carry a tune!) And perhaps Eric has perfect pitch (or near perfect anyway) and is physically pained when things are off key. (I actually suffer from hearing off key performances, I guess I'm sorta lucky I apparently hear something different from the rest of the world when I'm singing...)

So, just painful singing - not any one specific song was my guess.

the song

I'm actually pleased that someone commented about the song. ;) When I was a kid, and my mom wanted to wake us up in an abnoctious but loving way she would come into the bed room singing a song a the top of her lungs as she opened the blinds to let the sun pour in, blinding us :) "Rise and shine and give God your glory" We weren't a religious family but the song became a way of lovingly, teasingly waking us. We'd groan and complain as she smiled. I Do the same to my daughter now :) (just not as often)

A.A.

Bad things to come

tmf's picture

First, thanks for the great story : )
And now for the bad things for Eric/Erika; We have all the bulliyng at scool (the flag pol being a big one) and the autority did not talk with the parent. They should have even with Eric asking them not to, in my opinion it's thery're duty.
We have Eric mother saying "she's disapointed" with the mascara. Now when will she go through Eric room to find Erika stuff (a chance that she bring most or all of it to Tricia's).

tmf

Please don't be to mean on my writing,
English is my second language ; )

Confessions of a Bully Victim

terrynaut's picture

I commented once before and I tried to keep it light, but all the talk about bullying made me want to offer my perspective. I can relate fairly well to Eric. *sigh*

For the last 6 years of school, I was bullied. I was very small and very shy. A lot of my shyness was due to being an only child I think. Of course I was very sensitive too, though I didn't understand at the time that I was transgendered.

Back then, I didn't realize much of anything about myself or what kind of resources were available to me. I was bullied but I just quietly accepted it. I tried to avoid it when I could and tried to protect my more vulnerable areas when I couldn't escape. I guess there were people who could've helped me but I never thought to ask, and no one realized I was being bullied (much of it being off school grounds) so no one thought to offer help.

There are no easy answers and I still don't know how someone like me could've been helped. It's all so very frustrating.

I just hope Anistasia takes pity on Eric and allows him the help he so desperately needs and deserves. He's got Dr. Barts at least. That's one huge step in the right direction. It's more than I ever had. *sniffle*

- Terry

Bully Victim (too)

If you were bullied for only six years then I consider you was lucky.

I was bullied in another sense. I had a speech impairment, so from the first grade through the 12 grade I had the nick name of TABOO and so that was how I was treated. I was the one warming the bench in football. On the playground, I was the one off in the corner sitting on the ground. If I went to play on any playground equipment and there was anyone there they would leave. If I said Hello to another student they would not return the greeting other to say, (get away TABOO) . Those 12 years have left their scars and has effected my life as of today. My greatest joy in 58 years was graduating from high school. If I showed and transgender tendencies I did not know of it. I did not come out of the closet until I was over nineteen and out of tech. school. You might say that I open the closet door a crack and stuck out a leg. It`s pure hell NOT having any friends.

I still wish that I was never conceived and pray for the end.

The difference

That's the difference between bad and worse. Being bullied for six years is bad, twelve years is worse. Of course, once is too much. :-(

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

Trying for Understanding, not Sympathy

terrynaut's picture

I didn't mean to look for sympathy. I was just trying to help people understand how bullying can happen by relating my experience to Eric's. His case sounds extreme but I can still see it happening, and it's so sad.

I wish there were easy solutions to the problem but I can't think of any.

- Terry

Chapter does its job

... oh too well from the visceral readership reaction to the rendering into reality what was more like in the abstract as it was presented in Kumoni. Eric has a pretty bad life. The prank and the reaction of his mother serves to make us more sympathetic to the crazy scheme Erika and her friends are cooking up to get her into school. Assuming it does happen, it really doesn't matter at this point what her mother's reaction would be when she finally finds out about her new secret life.

I had put up a comment previously that it couldn't really get any worse if she actually comes out as a girl. Based on this chapter and the numerous similar incidents he has already gone through, does my comment still hold water ?

Kim

It depends... Right now you

Piper's picture

It depends... Right now you have school bullies that pull pranks in, around, and outside of school. You also seemingly have all the "authority figures" turning a blind eye to everying... There has been minor injuries and severe emotional trauma....

I Give fair warning that I will use what I consider to be strong vulgar words below this point, and I fully expect you to NOT flame me for using them if you continue reading...
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If Erika were "outted" in the wrong way, you could end up with media coverage of the "school" allowing this "faggot" to come to school dressed as a girl. That could lead to all kinds of organized and non organized hate groups causing physical harm, and even more emotional trauma (I know that hardly seems possible) not only to Eric/Erika, but also to the family.. Eric/Erika may not be happy with his Mom and Dad at the moment but I feel she still loves them (which makes it hurt all the more). What would Erika feel like, if Dad lost his job, or Mom was run down by some vulgar individuals because of their "Faggot" son. I think that would completely kill Erika's spirit and possibly send her into the same spiral that Summer went down.

A parents love is supposed to be unconditional, and unfortunately so is a Childs. Many people feel they are owed love and respect from their children and don't seem to care if their Child feels differently. I want to say "unfortunately for Erika" but I should say "fortunately for her Parents" Erika's love seems to be blind towards them, even if they are fucking clueless.

I have written stories about suicide, and self mutilization, and I have experianced most those feelings myself. My relationship with my own parents is pained @ best, all steming from when I came out to my Mom and was told "You'd make an ugly girl."

Despite we have patched things over, and talk, and I even go back and visit from time to time, that one comment will be with me for the rest of my life. Sometimes I wish parents would realize just how much power they wield.

Now, I step off my soap box, and apologize for making this more like a blog post and less like a reply, but in my warped mind, it's all relevant.

-P/KAF/One psychologically messed up little girl....




"She was like a butterfly, full of color and vibrancy when she chose to open her wings, yet hardly visible when she closed them."
— Geraldine Brooks


A preview

I think this is showing, almost like a preview to the camp story, what was happening to Eric in life. While it is troubling that that parents seem unconcerned on the surface. But on the flip side they were trying get Eric help by sending him to camp. Where it can be a sink or swim event to force your children into a more social setting; if nothing at home seems to be working. Camp can be fun or a spiral into hell...........

I think I can understand Eric's mother

and some of you even seem to hint at her reasons. But let me explain first. A mothers concern is the well being of the children and the family. Eric's mom _does_ actually care for him, although she doesn't seem to see the seriousness of Eric's situation. So from her point of view, he might be bullied a bit, but that's normal in her opinion, because he is a boy and needs to toughen up. No prank pulled on him presented obvious life threatening danger to him, so there is also nothing to worry about.
But Eric's behaviour now, does not only endanger him, but would also clearly ostracise the family, if not worse. She is very aware of the bigots out there, which are not only stubborn, but also very persistent in 'correcting' according to their believes. So with what might seem ignorant she is actually trying to protect Eric and her family from becoming social pariahs or worse.

Yet a good mother should have noticed the mascara even before leaving the house. My mother noticed even the slightest traces hours after I thought I got everything cleaned.

As for the bullying part... well, I have absolutely no idea who it is in other countries, but here in Germany, especially eastern germany, it would have been considered kind of normal. What I saw and experienced up until grade 6 was pretty similar to Eric's experiences. The teachers used to look away. I count myself lucky, as a few girls from my class were protecting me during that time from the worst.
But even nowadays, as bullying is officially strongly discouraged, it hasn't stopped. In fact it got even worse. Children and especially teenagers are very creative and they are abusing that creativity and intelligence for such cruel things.
And one last sentence - I can't really remember when it happened, but not more then 3 years ago, we had 3 teenagers literally tortured to death one even in a technical college in germany.

So some of you might might believe, that this story greatly exaggerated, for me it is reality.
I need to thank my teachers I had from grade 7 on and also my parents for their acceptance now.

And first of all, I want to thank Anistasia for her really good story. I hope the next chapter comes soon.

Saphira Leonie Gardner

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>> There is not one truth only out there. <<

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>> There is not one single truth out there. <<

Great Job Anistasia

joannebarbarella's picture

In generating so much feeling and concern for your protagonist. I just hope one of my stories will do as well one day!
On bullying; I was ferociously bullied at junior school, age 5 to 10 and I have to say, looking back, that I would have to take some of the blame. I started school early, encouraged by my parents, and was both the smallest in my class and I was a precocious little brat; you know, hand up all the time, knew all the answers, wanted to show how brainy I was, so of course I got bullied and not only by the boys. I gradually learned to hold my tongue but the damage was done, until one day I broke and went berserk and knocked down one of my bigger (physically) tormentors, more by accident than anything else. but from that day the frequency diminished. It didn't stop altogether but it became bearable.
Then I went to a different secondary school to most of my contemporaries so I was no longer the focus of attention. However, one incident shows how things are viewed by authority. There was one kid, quite a bit bigger than me, a year ahead but who had been in the same class at primary school, and he decided that it was time I was put in my place, as I evidently still annoyed him by existing. He pushed me around a fair bit on this occasion and then walloped me in the nose, drawing blood. So I kicked him in the groin and laid him out, not nice I know, but I knew I would never win a "fair" fight.
I was punished by being given "six of the best" and threatened with expulsion, which was commuted to suspension for a week. My parents were mortified and I was punished at home by early bedtimes, withdrawal of privileges, etc, and no amount of explanation was accepted. What I had done was not "fair".
However, I was never bullied again as I was regarded as an unpredictable and dangerous little bugger.
Many years later,grown and married, we moved to a new district and my 9 year old son went to a new school. After a couple of months he broke down one day and refused to go to school. We drew out of him that he was being bullied, a new boy with no established friends, and we had tried to teach him to be polite so he was a pansy, and yes, he had some of my failings in that he was the clever kid with his hand always up. I told him the next time they got at him to throw the first punch if they were pushing him around and he wouldn't get into trouble with us at home.
A month later my wife and I were summoned to the school and received a dressing-down about our son's "aggression" so we had to tell him to tone it down. Apparently the bullies did not like being attacked.
However, what turned the situation round was that my son was/is a very good swimmer. When the season started he cleaned up all the opposition at school, went on to represent the school at the Canberra age championships and then represented the ACT (Australian Capital Territory) in the state championships in Sydney. He wasn't good enough to win there although he got a couple of seconds, but all of a sudden he was the school hero, the moral of the story being how capricious kids can be, and how a talent can turn a situation around,
Joanne

Talentedly Intelligent

Piper's picture

"the moral of the story being how capricious kids can be, and how a talent can turn a situation around," -- Joanne

Yeah, as long as that talent isn't at being intelligent :)

-P/KAF


"She was like a butterfly, full of color and vibrancy when she chose to open her wings, yet hardly visible when she closed them."
— Geraldine Brooks


No Argument, Piper

joannebarbarella's picture

Intelligence is the kiss of death,
Joanne

Mom

Dam his mom is a bitch, some uncomfortable similiarities with my mom

hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna

sure, blame the victim

her mom needs a good bonk with a pool noodle

DogSig.png

Why?

Why the he** do they even make water-soluble mascara any more. And why would anybody buy it? Or water-soluble eyeliner?


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Mom has her priorities right

BarbieLee's picture

Forget her son has been assaulted by a group of teens. That's unimportant now. What is important is someone may have noticed her son was wearing mascara. The humility of it all. How can she ever show her face at the Women's Club again? What will her employer think of her if he finds out her son wears mascara? Job promotion, pay raise gone. company party tickets revoked.
Glad mom understands what is the most important things in her life. Oh yes, it would be convenient if she ignored what he and several others had told her about the hell he endured in school. Forget the lack of support and hell he endures at home. Maybe she would be happier if he followed his friend Summer, got out of everyone's life and stopped embarrassing his mom?
Hugs Anistasia
always
Barb
Life is meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Perfect post

laika's picture

about Ericka's situation BarbieLee
(she's one of my alltime favorite characters)
and my sincerest apologies about being such
an absolute boor to you the other day.
Sometimes I'm just such a jerk.
~Veronica

Mom is a one-step-forward-two-steps-back sort of
character throughout this series who just when you think
she's starting to get her daughter she reverts to her old self.
Just like people in real life.