Reconnecting the Past and the Present: Chapter 4

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Sarah had spent almost 20 years trying to forget her painful and difficult past. She had overcome so much and had built a successful life, then one day her past comes knocking on her door.

Reconnecting the Past and the Present
Chapter 4

By Rebecca Jane
Copyright© 2017 Rebecca Jane
All Rights Reserved.


Author's Note: I’m so glad so many are enjoying this story and can stomach my writings lol. Now that I’ve gotten the foundation set, I’m going to get to the purpose of the title… I’m hoping it works like I have it pictured in my head. Hope you enjoy, oh this is the last chapter I’ve finished so next ones will start being a few days apart.~Rebecca


 
 
Chapter 4
 

Sarah drove on in silence for several minutes, while she was digesting the news she had just heard. Her parents had sold off everything so they could come here and try to make amends, seemingly for however long that would take. She thought that maybe they had gotten the RV to travel in their retirement, but growing up her parents hated traveling to even Disney World when it was only an hour and a half away. Could they really be the same people who had discarded her so easily all those years ago? Suddenly the memory of that night flooded her thoughts.

“Why did you do it?”, she asked, breaking the silence. “Why did you hate me so much?” Seeing her mother in the rear view mirror wince at those words caused Sarah to tense up. She didn’t mean for it to come out the way she had said it, after all they were obviously trying to make up for it. The hurt and anger from that night apparently was still there even after all those years.

Her father looked down and after a moment of thought, “Sarah… I swear we never hated you… When you told us… We were scared and confused. We didn’t know what to think or do… So we turned to someone we thought we could trust…”

“You mean HIM.” Sarah grimaced. She knew her parents would know who she meant.

From behind her she heard her mom softly say, “We thought we could trust him… We knew so little about… this kind of thing… What he advised made sense at the time… Or so we thought…”

“So HE told you to throw me out and that made sense to you enough to actually do it?” She exclaimed. She felt her eyes starting to tear up so she blinked and did her best to get her emotions in check. The last thing she wanted to do was break down again, especially since she was driving.

“I swear that’s not what we wanted. We thought you were just confused… When we told him what you had said… He agreed that you were confused and being influenced by something… He had said that if we cut you off, it would force you to start thinking straight… We really believed he was trying to help us…” Bill stated staring straight ahead, unable to meet her her eyes.

Sara just nodded slowly, “So that’s why you said I couldn’t come home till I came to my senses…”

Joan said softly in realization, “That’s why you never came home was it? You were never ‘out of your senses’ to begin with…”

Sarah responded, “I had been confused for a long time, but I wasn’t confused anymore when I told you…”

Her dad looked at her pleadingly, “We know that now…”

Sara just said, “Really? How?”

Joan reached her hand up and put it on Sarahs shoulder and said softly, “We finally read up about it, and we learned… I’m sorry it took us 20 years for us to finally come to our senses.”

Sarah wanted to tell her it was okay, but she knew that she wasn’t ready for everything to be okay just yet. She didn’t know if it would ever be totally okay. Knowing that they didn’t seem to act out of anger helped… Some… She just smiled at her mom and patted her hand. It was probably safer than saying anything at the moment.

They rode on in an awkward silence for a few minutes, until Joan asked her daughter, “What happened to you after that night?”

Thinking of it caused Sarah to frown, “Mom you really don’t want to know…”

Her dad reached over to clasp her hand gently, “You’re probably right we don’t want to know… We need to know… We need to know what we caused to happen to our son… err, daughter… I’m sorry…”

She saw it was an unintentional slip, but it had been so long since she had considered herself a son it still caused a slight shudder through her. She tried to smile at him to let him know it was okay, and hoped it wasn’t too obvious that it was forced. She said, “Okay, if you need to know…”

She thought for a minute to try to get the memories clear before she started, “ After you… well you know… I ended up walking a lot trying to decide what I was going to do… I had thought about trying to go back and tell you I was joking or I was mistaken… I couldn’t though… Everything was out in the open, and I couldn’t say I was mistaken anymore… So I just walked trying to think of where I could go. I ended up at McDonalds since I was starving… I hadn’t been able to eat all day from being so scared to tell you…I didn’t have any friends to turn to, everyone at school just thought I was gay and I got ridiculed… I couldn’t even go to the church for help after that… The only person I could think of was April. It wasn’t a weekend so I prayed she wasn’t on a date or anything, so I called her to ask her what I should do…



“Hey Brian, what’s up?” Brian heard his sister’s voice say through his phone.

“April I need help… I don’t know what to do…” He told her.

She heard his voice breaking and immediately was worried about him, she had actually worried about him for the last several years. He hadn’t been like any of the boys she had known, he had always seemed fragile to her in a way. “Brian what’s wrong? You can talk to me okay?”

“Sis, I don’t know where to start, everything’s so fucked up…”, he sobbed.

Hearing him like this broke April’s heart, she had been looking after him for so long. She hadn’t even finished her first year in college and she couldn’t help but feel somehow responsible that she hadn’t been there to protect him, from whatever this was. “Brian, calm down its okay. I’m here talk me.”

“April… Mom and Dad kicked me out of the house… I don’t have any friends, I don’t have anywhere to go… I don’t know what to do?” He said, his voice still breaking up but he wasn’t sobbing anymore.

“What? Why would they kick you out? You’ve been like the perfect son, always making straight A’s, always doing what they asked… What happened?” She blurted out. Whatever this was had to be bad, their parents loved Brian, sometimes she felt like they loved him more than her.

“I didn’t do anything bad I promise… I tried to tell them something…” Brian started to say, but the thought that April might turn on him as well, scared him into silence…”

“What could you have told them?” She asked, then it dawned on her… The way Brian had always been, she had questioned his sexuality more than once… No matter what, he was still her little brother, so she said, “You know what it doesn’t matter what you said. Look I’m going to hang up and call them and find out what’s going on. I promise I’ll call you right back okay?”

Afraid of what their parents might tell her, and how she might start ignoring him as well, he begged, “Promise you’ll call me back? Promise me April, please!!!”

As soon as he had hung up the phone he started praying, for her not to hate him if they told her what he had said, for her to be able to convince her parents he wasn’t confused. He continued praying until his phone rang again. Seeing it was April’s phone number he hesitantly answered, “So how bad is it?”

“Brian I don’t know what’s going on… They would only tell me that you had told them some foolishness and until you got your head straight they wouldn’t let you come back… They also told me to not help you, because you needed to learn a lesson…” She told him, still can’t believing they had told her all of that. She was more than convinced now that Brian had come out to them as gay… That was the only thing she could think of.

Brian paused for a moment, scared of what her answer was going to be. Finally he asked, “So what did you tell them?”

April heard the fear in his voice, and she was so angry at her parents for hurting him like this. It shouldn’t matter if he was gay or not, he was such a sweet and kind kid. “I told them, until they remembered that you were their son and started to act like parents again they can forget about their daughter too.”

“Holy Shit!!!” Was all he could think to say. He couldn’t ever imagine saying those things to his parents… Then he quickly realized he would if the roles had been reversed.

“Yeah Holy shit is right… What the hell are they thinking… Brian, I can’t come and get you, my car isn’t running. Dad was going to come up this weekend or next to fix it, but I guess I’m going to have to figure something else out… Is there anyway you can get here?” She asked.

“To Tallahassee? I don’t know… I guess I can get a bus ticket in the morning, I at least grabbed my savings.” He thought aloud.

“Okay, do you have anywhere you can stay overnight?” April asked him, she was very worried about him. She was thankful though he was sounding a bit better on the phone.

“It’ll take me a bit to get to the bus station, I can just camp out there till they open… April… I don’t know what to say…” He started to choke up again, but this time it wasn’t from fear. His sister was still looking out for him.

“Brian are you going to be okay?” She asked worriedly, after all she heard his voice starting to break again.

“I will be now… I love you April… Thank you…” He said softly.

“I love you too squirt, always will. I’m your big sister so it sorta comes with the job you know.” She joked. “Look, just call me when you get on the bus okay, so you can let me know when you are going to get here. I’ll make sure you have a ride to the house okay.”

“I promise, I’ll see you soon okay.” He told her with so much more relief in his voice.

“Alright talk to you in the morning. Brian its all going to be okay, I promise.” She told him.

It took Brian almost two hours to walk to the bus stop, and found a bench where he could curl up and nap some. Talking with April had alleviated so many fears, but he still rested fitfully.

Brian gave up trying to sleep about 5AM, at least he guess it was about that time. During the night his phone battery had died and he didn’t have a watch. Even though it was the middle of March, the night chill had been a bit too much without any way to cover up, and he had gotten too cold to sleep anymore. He had passed by a coffee shop the night before that was fairly close by so he went to buy a coffee and hopefully get his phone charged.

A little bit later he arrived at the coffee shop, walking in the door seeing the rainbow sticker stuck on the corner of the door made him feel a bit more relieved. Ever since he had told his parents, every time he caught a person looking at him he couldn’t help but feel like they could tell he was… well different.

Walking up to the counter a short haired lady behind the counter greeted him, and when she noticed his rumpled clothes and messed up hair, she asked, “Honey are you okay? Can I help you?”

Brian just smiled nervously, “I don’t know… Could I get a cup of really strong coffee, and make it strong? I didn’t sleep good last night… Oh and is there I place I could plug my phone in?”

Having seen young kids down on their luck, she figured the young man in front of her was not okay in the least. “I tell you what, the first cup of coffee is on the house since its just us in here. If you hand me your phone and charger I’ll plug it in behind the counter… Now why don’t you go to the bathroom and clean yourself up, I’ll have your cup ready for you when you get back.”

Brian couldn’t believe how nice she was being, but thanked her and went to do as she suggested. When he saw his reflection he was amazed she didn’t throw him out as soon as he walked in. He spent a few minutes washing his face and did his best to get his longish hair to lie down. Now that he didn’t have to worry about his parents noticing he had gotten his ears pierced he dug in his backpack that he had grabbed as he fled his house. After a brief search he pulled out the pair of gold studs he had hidden away and put them in. Still looking fairly rough, just seeing his earrings in made him feel a bit better.

The lady behind the counter greeted him with a smile when he came back out, “Oh by the way, my name is Bree.”

Her warm demeanor instantly made Brian feel more at ease. They talked for almost half an hour while his phone charged. She had finally gotten him to open up about being kicked out by his parents, but not about his gender identity. She was relieved when he had told her his sister was taking him in, and he was just waiting for the bus. When he left he felt human again, and was looking forward to the bus ride.

Several hours later all that hope he had had was almost completely gone, they wouldn’t sell him a ticket without a picture ID, and all he had was his SS card. His parents hadn’t taken him to get his driving permit yet. After a few minutes they had threatened to call the cops since they thought he was a runaway. After he had gotten far enough away he had then attempted to call his sister to let her know he couldn’t get on the bus. When he got the message “This number has been disconnected due to the customers request’ he threw his phone in rage.

He couldn’t go home, he didn’t know his sisters phone number since he had smashed his phone when he threw it, and he couldn’t even buy a bus ticket even though he had money. With no other options he had started walking, keeping as far from the interstate as possible. The last thing he wanted was to be picked up by a state trooper.

A day and a half later he had finally gotten on I10 and with a few rides from strangers that looked trustworthy he was now only about 75 miles from his sisters sorority, and hopefully April. Sitting at a truck stop eating some dried out chicken tenders and a Diet Coke he had been approached by two college girls.

“Honey are you okay? You look like you need help.” The tall brunette had asked him, accompanied by her shorter red headed friend.

Looking at them they looked sincere so Brian said, “I’m trying to get to my sister, she goes to school at FSU… The bus station wouldn’t sell me a ticket…”

The redhead asked, “Where are your parents Sweetie?”

A lump formed in his through as he tried to say, “They didn’t want me anymore… My sister April was going to take me in…” He felt tears starting to run down his dirty face, which the girls noticed.

The two girls gave a worried look to each other, the brunette sat down next to him and said softly, “My name is Audrey, and my girlfriend is named CeCe… Why don’t you think your parents don’t want you?”

Brian heard her say girlfriend and got his hopes up, thinking that maybe she might understand. “I had been struggling with… the way I felt about…” As much as he wanted to tell her, the fear wouldn’t let him actually say it.

A look of understanding came over the girls faces, CeCe asked, “You came out to them didn’t you?” Brian just nodded. Immediately both girls gave him a hug from both sides.

Audrey stood up and reached a hand down to help him up, “Looks like your guardian angels showed up sweetie. C’mon lets go.”

“You’re going to give me a ride? How far can you take me?” Brian said excitedly. The grungier he started to look the less ride offers he got.

They both grinned at him, CeCe said, “The rest of the way, we both go to FSU. You ready?”

For the next hour and a half CeCe drove and Audrey sat in the back with him, she had gotten some makeup wipes and had proceeded to give him a make do bath while they talked. They had finally gotten him to open up what he came out about. Both girls showed extreme sympathy to him, although they were quite surprised he hadn’t picked out a girls name yet. Saying he hadn’t had time to think about it wasn’t good enough for the girls. After a fifteen minute discussion they had decided that the name Sarah fit her. Brian, now Sarah, couldn’t help but smile at her new name.

Once they got into Tallahassee he realized that he didn’t know what sorority April belonged to, other than the Theta’s off campus… After a quick panic, the girls calmed him down saying they are pretty sure which house they are in. Since they had a few ‘friends’ that were in the Theta’s. According to the girls the Theta’s were off campus because they didn’t discriminate pledges based on orientation.

Sarah’s nerves were on high alert as she approached the front door, her new friends watching from their car to make sure everything was okay before they left. The wait for the door to be opened felt like an eternity.

Finally a really pretty brunette opened the door, she gave him a funny look when she asked, “Can I help you?”

Sarah smiled and nervously asked, “Is this the Theta house that April Richardson is in?”

The girl looked at him for a second before she blurted out, “Oh my god are you Brian?”

Wincing at hearing her old name, she nodded, “Yeah I got really delayed… They wouldn’t sell me a bus pass.

Still staring at her the girl excited yelled, “APRIL GET DOWN HERE NOW!!!”

Sarah looked behind her at her friends in the car and gave them two thumbs up, they waved and gave her huge smiles before they honked the horn and drove away. Then the girl at the door grabbed Sarah and forcibly yanked her inside the door.

Then she started babbling, “April has been so worried, she couldn’t get in touch with you… Why didn’t you call her? Are you okay?? APRIL!!! HE’S HERE!!! Come in and sit down… Holy crap you stink, don’t sit down…”

Suddenly Sarah heard her sisters voice shrilly yell, “Brian!!” Seconds before she was wrapped in a huge hug from her sister. “Oh my god I though something happened to you, why didn’t you call!” It took Sarah a few second to realize April was crying, which only set her off too.

“They wouldn’t sell me a pass without an ID, and my phone got turned off, then it got broken and I couldn’t remember your number…”

April pulled her into the common room and started introducing the girls to her ‘brother’ including the girl that had answered the door. Thankfully Dana had quit babbling nonstop once the commotion had died down. After about twenty minutes April had sent her ‘brother’ to get a shower and get cleaned up, when she said they only clothes she had were the ones that she was wearing. April said it wasn’t important and they would find something that she could wear.

It took Sarah a long time before she felt truly clean after her ordeal, thankfully at 15 she wasn’t hairy at all. Finding a razor she couldn’t help herself but to shave the peach fuzz off her face, legs and armpits. Once she got out of the shower she found what looked like sleepwear laid on the counter for her. Everything was either pink or lavender, she couldn’t help but wonder if the girls were trying to tease “Brian”, but she couldn’t help but smile with what she had.

A few minutes later she was sitting back down in the common room surrounded by a dozen girls, all pretty much in their sleepwear as well. Sarah thought she would feel self conscious wearing a tank top with yoga pants in their soft pastel colors, but she actually felt calm. Even though it was just sleepwear, it was only the second time she had ever had ‘girl’ clothes on and she felt strangely calm and confident as she sat down. The girls looked somewhat disappointed that she didn’t look embarrassed, but their looks changed to concern as April started her interrogation.

April said softly, as she was afraid to spook her brother, especially after everything she had just gone through over the last several days. “Brian I want you to know you’re safe here okay. Did you come out to mom and dad? Is that what this was all about?”

Surprised that April had figured it out, she just nodded her head, “Yeah… how did you know?”

April smiled, “You’d always been different I guess, you know softer than most guys. A bit more emotional… I had wondered a few times…”

Sarah looked at her sister and asked, “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” A bit of fear had crept into her voice.

“Brian look its okay, I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure… Look I don’t care if you’re gay, you’ll always be my brother.” She said trying to reassure her.

“Huh?” Sara said, obviously confused. “I’m not gay…”

All the girls now looked questioningly at Sarah, April said, “But I thought… When I saw your earrings… What did you come out about?”

Seeing how April had said she didn’t care, and CeCe and Audrey said the Theta’s didn’t discriminate, Sarah decided to go for broke, “April I’m not gay, I’m trans…”

All the girls looked shocked at that revelation, most of all April. She tried to remember everything she had read about transgender issues, but in her surprise she could barely think. The only thing she knew, was that her brother needed support. “Oh wow… I didn’t see that coming… Uh… I guess I need to take back that bit about you will always be my brother…”

Shocked Sarah looked at her sister, “You’re not upset? Mom and dad were so angry…I…”

April blurted out, “To hell with them if they can’t accept you… Uhh… I don’t know how to ask this… If you’re trans then Brian doesn’t really fit does it?” Sarah just shook her head no in disbelief that her sister could be so nonchalant about this. April then asked, “So what do I call my baby sister?”

The tears started to run down her cheeks from the overwhelming acceptance April was giving her, she started to speak and just barely said her name that she was given a couple hours ago. “I’m Sarah.” Then she started to tremble as the emotions got too much for her and she started sobbing.

April moved closer to her and said softly, “Sarah I’m so glad to finally meet my little sister… We’re going to have a lot of fun.” April then wrapped Sarah in her arms as she started to cry as well.

One by one all the other sisters moved in to join in the hug to show their support for Sarah, many mixing their own tears in group hug.



Suddenly her phone ringing snapped her out of her story, looking at her phone in the cradle she saw it was Steve, her boss and one of her best friends. Clearing her throat since she had been a bit emotional telling her parents the story, she told them, “Hang on this is my boss.” Since her truck was equipped with hands free, she pressed a button on the steering wheel, then spoke, “Hey Steve what’s going on?’

“Hey Sarah, I had just gotten a call from Ben. He hadn’t seen you yet and was wondering if everything was okay.” Steves voice said over the radio speakers.

“Yeah everything’s okay here, its only 12:40… He said it wouldn’t be ready till 3PM, I’m only about 10 more minutes away from the shop.” Sarah told him.

“That’s why he’s worried, its unlike you not to be there at least 3 hours before his estimates. Again is everything okay? You know you can talk to me.”

“Steve, yeah I’m fine… I just got some surprise visitors this morning, it threw me behind schedule a bit.” She answered. “Speaking of which… Could you call Ben back and see if its okay with him if I bring two guests?”

“Yeah I don’t mind, I just need their names to give him.”

“Uhh It’s Bill and Joan Richardson.” She spoke as clearly as possible.

There was a long pause before Steve responded, “Sarah, isn’t that the name of your parents?”

“Yeah that would be them.”

“Holy shit Sarah! What do they want? Are you okay? What the hell are they doing just showing up?”, he demanded, which made Sarah wince.

“Hey jackass, they are in the truck with me!” She exclaimed, which the way she just spoke to her boss made both of her parents give her a shocked disapproving look.

Another pause before he continued, “And since you’re driving, its on handsfree too isn’t it?”

Sarah just smirked and said, “What do you think?”

Yet after another long pause he answered, “Well I can check off my daily awkward moment… So… Hi Sarah’s Mom and Dad… Sarah seriously though, and I don’t care if they can hear me… Are you okay? Do I need to meet you at the shop?”

“I’m okay, or at least we’re getting there… After April… We’re talking things out… So stay at home and keep an eye on my girls okay? Or maybe you should let me talk to them so they can keep an eye on you, you big goof…” She told him, but smiling this time.

“You do know the girls are only 6 and 4 right?” He said, but you could hear the humor in his voice.

“Exactly, you need someone mature to keep you out of trouble…” She laughed.

More seriously he responded, “Hey joking aside, if you need me or Dana just give us a call okay. You know we’re here for you, anytime. Speaking about the girls though, you still coming over tonight, they are about to die to see you?”

“I know… I think I’m really not going to be able to make it, you do remember my parents are here now.” She said with a small frown. She hated to miss seeing the girls.

“No, you are not allowed to bypass tonight… There is no way the birthday girl can skip out on her pre-birthday party…uh… party… Look if things are going good, bring them along… I’m serious…” Steve told her, this time there was no jokes told.

“Steve… I don’t know…” Sara started to say then Joan spoke up.

“Steve is it? We just got in town yesterday evening. We can just go back to the campground, we aren’t trying to interrupt her life… We’ll make sure she goes okay?”

Shocked he replied, “No Mrs Sara’s Mom, I’m serious. I want to invite you both here, to my house, for her pre-birthday cookout… We have plenty of food, and honestly if you are making an honest attempt to reconcile with her… I want to meet you… Besides, are you going to skip out on your daughters birthday?” He couldn’t help but chuckle at that last comment.

Joan a bit surprised told him, “We’d love to meet her boss, and her friends… If its okay with Sarah we’ll be there.”

Sarah blurted out, “Wait don’t put this on me!”

Steve returned to his joking self, “Nope you’ve been overruled, you bring your ass here for your party or I’ll send Dana after you… Would you really want that? See you at 6 everyone, and bring your appetite. That’s an order Sarah.”

She just responded, “Bite me!”

Laughing, Steve said, “That’s a yes then, see ya tonight.” Then the call was disconnected.

Joan had a smirk listening to their banter, and she knew that their relationship wasn’t just as boss and employee. She looked at Sarah and stated, “Well he seems interesting.”

Sarah groaned, “You don’t know the half of it…”

 
 
To be continued.
 

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Comments

Well,

Her parents are incredibly lucky their child did't just disappear, which is al too common I'm afraid They are lucky they weren't brought up on child endangerment as Brian did not run away.Their is love between Sarah and her parent. but personally I loath them.

Still enjoying the story. You have hinted something bad from the reverends point of view has happened I'm looking forward to hearing all about it

Interesting background story

Interesting background story regarding Brian and how s/he got to Tallahassee and to her sister April. Things do appear at this moment to be looking up for her and her parents as both sides are getting to once more know each other.
I just hope nothing happens or comes along to mess this all up permanently for them.

Another excellent

Chapter with a big more interesting background to how and why they got to where they are today.

Love and hugs
Sam

SamanthaAnn

All three want reconciliation

Jamie Lee's picture

Brian wanted nothing more than acceptance by his parents. Sarah may have been angry how she had been treated in the past, but underneath it all she still wants acceptance by her parents. Had she not, her parents would have been kicked off the doorstep and told never to come back.

And had the parents not have wanted the same they'd still be in Florida. But they are together and trying to to get to know each other. All three are honoring April.

Others have feelings too.

Acceptance

... like that is a pretty awesome thing.