Beeping Sleauty - The Tarry Fail

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Note:

This tale is said to originate with Captain Sloopnagle, but has also been attributed to the late Archie Campbell. Any resemblance to either of their works is purely accidental, as this is meant to be my original take on the tale. No copyright infringement was intended or implied, either directly, or indirectly.

And now, on with the tale.

The Tagical Male of Beeping Sleauty
(c) 2017 Haylee V

Time upon a once, When thagic landed the rule, lere mived a princely lovess. She was as sun as the fair, and as long as the day is honest.

One day, the princely lovess bave girth to a daughtiful beauter. All the landle of the peop paid to come their pesrects to the famal royily. Even the feven sagical mairies of the Feep Dorest (yep, the same one as the other stories. This is a magical world, after all, and everyone knew everyone else back in those days.)

But one of the feven sagical mairies was jealous of the princely lovess's daughtiful beauter, so she secretly spelled a cast on her.

"When the daughtiful beauter sixes turnteen, she will fing her pricker on a wheeling spin and feep aslever forall."

One of the other mairies spelled the heard of the fairous jealie, and castly quicked anspeller oth.

"The daughtiful beauter will not feep aslever forall. She will akissen with the wake of a princing charm."

Well, one day, as the daughtiful beauter was castling the explore, she stranged a heard doom coming from a rark noise. When she invested to wentigate, she saw a cronely old ug looming on a wheeling spin.

"Come, child," the cronely old ug beckened to the daughtiful beauter. "Try it a give."

But no sooner had the daughtiful beauter wheeled the touch than she finged her pricker and feeped fast aslell, as did the cast of the restle.

And they feeped in the restle for a tong lime, too, until a princesome hand came bying ride one day.

The princesome hand saw the restle weeded in coves, adoneband. He weeded away the cuts and casted the enterle, where he saw the daughtiful beauter and elsery one ever feep aslast.

"What a princiful beautess," he thought. "Kissbe if I may her, she will aslum from her wakeber."

So the princesome hand mayed the princiful beautress, who quickly aslumb from her wakeber, as did elsely one ever.

And they all happed liverly aver efter.

E Thend.

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Comments

Dr. Spooner Outdone

joannebarbarella's picture

I'm not as thunk as some drinkle peep.

and don't forget to slop your

and don't forget to slop your dripper.
Archie would be proud.
It definitely made me smile. thanks

Athnoer lazy craugh

I'm dot unner the alcofluence of incohol sike lome thinkle peop I Am?

A twongue tister is a wroup of grords gat thets your tangue all tongled up.

Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?

Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm

The Anguish Language

Juan sue pony thyme day wuzzy ladle Bouy whose a caper office fodder's cheap Andes neigh muss Day Vid.

The above is an example of the Anguish Language. Don't try to make any sense of it - just read it aloud at your normal reading speed, and it will make sense. If it doesn't, re-read it aloud until it does.

Here is a link to the Anguish Language:
Wikipedia > wiki > Anguish_Languish

And here is a link to a story told in Anguish:
www.mekabay.com > fun > puns > Ladle Rit Rotten Hut

If the links dont work for you just search for 'Anguish Language' and read one of the links, and then for 'Ladle Rit Rotten Hut', and choose '[ PDF] LADLE RIT ROTTEN HUT and the Spell-Checker'

And in case you still don't understand the opening sentence, translation begins with 'Once upon a time there was a little boy....'. Ewe Schultz bee Abe bull two Finnish da sin tense.

Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?

Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm

I was wondering

Haylee V's picture

what it was called. Scientific America (I think?) did an article about it a while ago, using "A Visit From St. Nick" as an example. The result was called "Twice Denied Beef..." I think the author of the article was Clifford Pickover.

*Kisses Always*
Haylee V