I Apologize :(

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I want to apologize for earlier. I went to a dark place this morning and it took me all day to bring myself back from it. I want to thank everyone for their kind words too.

I think I figured out the root of the funk I've been in lately. On the 4th of July last year, I woke up to find my dog of 12 years dead on the floor. It nearly killed me. I thought about ending my life in fact. I know it sounds stupid but it really was like losing a child. I don't make friends easy and my family---well I said earlier---how unhelpful they can be. It hurt, it hurt a lot. It still hurts. There isn't a day that doesn't go by where I don't miss him.

I have other problems too but this current one, his death is definitely at the root of it. Especially now when its getting so close to the anniversary of it :(.

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Comments

Sorry

A dog is a companion, friend and loved one all at the same time. I'm sorry to hear your dog died.

Red MacDonald

Hugs

erin's picture

Another pet cannot replace the love of a departed friend but they can help heal a wounded heart. Something to think about.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

But...

...only when you're ready.

I lost one of mine last year just two days before that. Maisie and Danny were two of a four pup litter from two of my aunt's dogs (and a bit of an accident). She'd offered mom and me one of them, and so we set up a few times to go and see them and audition which we would adopt. The very first visit, the pup I'd eventually name Maisie tottered straight to the door, straight to my hand as I bent to meet her, and stayed with me, either being held or almost glued to my side the entire visit. Her brother, whom we eventually named Danny, was nearly as friendly but was eager to romp with his big sister and draw her back to the rest of the litter to play. He had the most outgoing personality, capturing mom's heart, but I was heartbroken each time I had to leave my aunt's after the visits. Finally, my aunt took mercy on us and suggested that we take both.

Maisie and her brother were never more than a few feet away from each other their entire lives before summer of 2016. She developed a very sudden, aggressive case of liver cancer in June, and was degrading rapidly, right about the same time that I was trying to recover from a (failed) suicide attempt of my own. Eventually, it came to a decision of spending money that neither mom nor I had (I'm on public assistance and wouldn't have any healthcare otherwise, mom ought to be but keeps self-sabotaging her attempts to apply and is generally in worse condition than I) on a procedure that the vet said had almost no chance of succeeding, or to let her go gently and peacefully. An appointment was set with a nearby clinic, and I held my dear friend as she slipped away forever.

I've been fortunate in that I have been given to privilege to help two of my very best friends care for and raise their three young children, and so have had plenty to occupy my time and few opportunities to dwell, as would otherwise be my wont, on that loss, especially so soon after the other event. The point is, while another companion can and will help to heal this wound, the most important thing is to reconnect with something positive in your life, and sometimes that won't be a new pet for a while; it normally takes me a few years between before I feel ready to take on another furry friend. It doesn't do to rush oneself, but neither is it good to retreat into oneself and one's grief. Mourn as you go, as it were, but don't stop moving.

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

I have had myshare

of fur babies.They really do fall in that part of your soul usually reserved for children. Loosing them will always be hard.I've heard God gives us enough time on this earth to learn how to love, which explains why dogs are here for so little time.

THEY ARE A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL

Please never give up! I've been there done that before! Please! Your stories are brilliant!! Not too many
authors come close to your caliber!
I have never minced my words but a majority of stories are shit! Yours aren't
we all love you! We have been were you are and we feel for you!
With love Your FAN ""ME""
OH OH! Get a New Puppy and give your Love for him/her YOU will be a Lot Happier

What I was gonna say

tmf's picture

A new puppy or a kitty, to light your soul again.

Big Hugs tmf

Peace, Love, Freedom, Happiness

It is not stupid to say a

It is not stupid to say a losing a pet is like losing a child. We are our pet’s keepers. We have a special responsibility to them. People say to me they are just animals, while as soon as I hear those words leave their mouth I know I much rather be with an animal than with that person.

I get so attached to mine and do everything I can to give them the best life possible. It is for one simple reason, I choose them to be with me, they did not chose me. Also they just give love without expecting anything in return other than love. So yes it was like losing a child. They are so close to us and get into our hearts,
Hugs
Sarah

Buddy boy gone for 2 years

June 29 . Still have bad days. My new friend is boomtruck not sure what breed he is maybe a chiweenie?bboy_0_0.jpg


ed

Furry kids

We don't have any kids, but we have four footed ones. We've lost a few over the years, and its damned hard. All you can do is love another, to ease the pain.

Furry companions

Hang on in there . Remember that out there is a furry friend looking for not just a home but YOU. It does not heal the hurt overnight. in fact you will always remember and miss the old one but it fills the void and the hurt becomes smaller.

Losing a Best Friend

Dear EOF. It can be most difficult to lose a beloved pet that we have been granted the time to share our lives with for a while. There is an old Arabic saying that goes something like this: 'Every man deserves One good Wife, One good Gun and One good Dog.' Speaking for myself I have been married twice and have had two Really great dogs! Remember the unconditional love given to you by your loyal pet and choose those memories to fill your heart. We all have dark places that visit from time-to-time, myself included. I cannot say I know of your circumstances with family and RL. One thing that I do know that your writing is gifted and enjoyable to read. I wish some of the stories you have so meticulously started were able to be completed, but only you can fulfill that wish. We all must make choices daily with our lives. One of the most basic is the choice to be happy or sad. I choose to be happy. Some days it is harder than others to do so but since it takes no more effort on my body and consumes far less mental energy than feeling anger or despair, my choice is pretty easy. In a short while I will be making a trip to a long-term rehabilitation hospital to help motivate my oldest sibling and offer my support. At last count he has at least 22 broken bones and countless other wounds received in a head-on collision three weeks ago caused by some F***Stick passing another car while texting. There is not one doctor who can believe he is still alive. Now there's a bad day! I know what the reason is. It is the fight in him. The same fight we all must have to excel each and every day we are given. Keep the faith EOF, and never quit writing! The sun is always shining whether we see it or not.
Peace

Francis G.

A companion forever!

The Best Place to Bury a Dog by Ben Hur Lampman

There is one best place to bury a dog.

If you bury him in this spot, he will come to you when you call – come to you
over the grim, dim frontier of death, and down the well-remembered path,
and to your side again.

And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel, they shall not
growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his
footfall, who hear no whimper, people who may never really have had a dog.

Smile at them, for you shall know something that is hidden from them,
and which is well worth the knowing.

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master.

Carol Anne

My gender confused dog literally kept me alive

I had a neighbor who rescued a malnourished, abused and abandoned puppy running loose on an interstate highway. He took her home, cleaned her up and had her checked out by a vet. That dog was neither friendly nor aggressive to my neighbor or anyone else- just indifferent. My neighbor wasn't able to keep the dog long term so he called everyone he knew trying to find a home for the dog; no one he knew-myself included- wanted a dog, much less one that likely would have issues.

About a week after he had rescued her, my neighbor was taking her for a walk. I was sitting in my front yard having a cold beer when they came by. That dog made a beeline for me and damn near yanked my neighbor's shoulder out of his socket from tugging on the leash, so over they came. The dog put her muzzle in my lap and wouldn't leave; I had just been adopted by that dog. She was my constant companion from that point on. Annie (as in Little Orphan Annie) was a border collie mix. She decided that I was her herd and she was my protector; if we were out for a walk and she decided she didn't like someone she would growl at them and put her body between them and me. Her affect was very masculine and she dominated every alpha male she encountered, she even marked territory like a male.

A year after she adopted me, I had a major health crisis. After I got out of the hospital, I could only walk a few steps at a time and couldn't take care of myself so friends and family would take turns helping me out. Annie, without any training, transitioned to a service dog. If she sensed something was wrong with me, she would woof to get someones attention and if they didn't come, she would bark louder. I was told to expect a very limited physical recovery and I became seriously depressed. I didn't respond to anti depressants and I started to go into very dark places where suicide look attractive. Annie picked up on this and when I got depressed, when would head butt me until I paid attention to her and played with her or petted her until my mood was better. She would go outside to do her business by herself, but would let anyone else walk her so my physical recovery began with taking her for walks that started as a few steps and eventually grew until I had my strength and stamina back. It took me several years to maximize my health recovery (not 100% but far better than the doctors told me to expect) and Annie was with me all the way. Even after I recovered, she still was very protective of me.

After nine really wonderful years with her in my life, she died suddenly. I was totally ripped apart inside; I owed my life to her and I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. There was no warning, she just didn't wake up one day. Her vet said she had a "cardiovascular event" probably a stroke. Even after 7 years, I still miss her and every day I wake up hoping that her death was just a bad dream and the she is patiently waiting for me to feed her and take her for a walk. Her leash, collar and tags are still hanging from the coat rack by the front door. I took me a long time to realize that Annie's final gift to me was showing me that because our animal companions have lives that are comparatively short when measured against our own, that life is precious and that we should cherish those with whom we share our lives for as long as they are part of our existence.